i don´t love you

ATTENTION NEWSIES BLOGS

I need to be in this fandom soon it’s wonderful. What should I watch/read/listen to? I’ve seen the show and have the soundtrack, but was wondering if there are specific YouTube things I should watch? I’m about to spend around an hour watching backstage vlogs but I need content for this fandom ok??

casual shoutout to everyone in the gt fandom who’s mentally ill

i’ve been in the fandom for about five years, active for about one. i’ve seen a lot of people come and go, some in worse shape than others. one thing i’ve noticed is that a lot of us tend to put on a front, since gt is our happy place we feel like we have to be happy all the time. and that does wind up hurting when depression hits or mental illnesses flares up or you’re just not feeling your best. 

theres nothing wrong with that. theres nothing wrong with not being chipper all the time, when you joined the fandom you didn’t sign a paper saying that you always had to be the bouncy tiny or the cheerful giant. 

you just gotta be you.

and if you’re depressed? or have an eating disorder? or an anxiety disorder? have ptsd? have something else? have no mental illnesses but still have your bad days? thats okay. you’re okay here.

gt is a more intense fandom, because for a lot of us its so much more than fandom, its practically a way of living. and since its such a huge thing in all of our lives, its reasonable to have ups and downs. and honestly i find so many of you brave.

being a mentally ill tiny is hard, being a mentally ill giant is hard, being anything in between is hard. but that doesn’t stop this fandom. and when i see any of you pull through a tough time, come out alive, or even take time to take care of yourself, i get so proud. 

i’m rambling at this point, but i just really wanted to say that even though this fandom is mostly geared towards being positive, its perfectly okay to have your bad times and be open about it. 

going through mental illness doesn’t make you weak. it makes you brave. in the end, it’ll make you strong. 

and i am so proud of all of you. <3

pokkipo  asked:

L, N, T and U?

  • L - If I have siblings.

One older sister.

  • N - Favourite animal?

Capybaras, tigers, pangolins, wolves, cows? I honestly love animals so much and it’s hard to choose asdfghkjl

  • T - 3 things I love unconditionally.

Death, rain, and roses

  • U - Favourite time of year, and why

Maybe winter or spring? 

Monday 8:27am
I woke up with you on my mind.
You called me babe last night —
my heart is still pounding.

Tuesday 10:53pm
Today I realized we won’t work.
What we are is hurting her.
And I think she matters more to me than you do.

Wednesday 11:52pm
I broke things off with you today.
She barely said a word.
I’ve never regretted anything more than this.

Thursday 4:03pm
I shouldn’t have sent that message.
You shouldn’t have been so okay with receiving it.

Friday 9:57pm
I almost messaged you today.
I didn’t.

Saturday 8:49pm
I’m walking around town in search of alcohol.
They say that liquor numbs the pain of having a broken heart.
I want to put that to the test.

Sunday 2:32am
I heard you texted a girl you’ve never spoken to before.
I wonder if it’s because you’re trying to replace me.
I can’t help but wish you weren’t.
I thought I was irreplaceable.

—  a week with you on my mind, c.j.n.