i don t need a man

[…] And in “My Own Private Idaho”, the 21-year-old actor managed to make some film history. Phoenix, signed to play a scruffy, sleepy young man named Mike, decided the movie needed a scene with an explicit gay subtext, one in which he would spell out his love for Keanu Reeves’ pseudo-bisexual playboy. Around a campfire, Phoenix delivers a stammering, meek, heartfelt confession, ending with the words, “I love you and you don’t pay me.” With this he dealt a blow to Hollywood’s perennially brain-dead treatment of homosexual subject-matter, which currently wavers between creepy exploitation and bland condescension.

By all reports a happy heterosexual, Phoenix spoke enthusiastically to the gay weekly, the Advocate, about his scene. “It wasn’t an improvisation. Everything was written. The stutters, the uh’s, were all written. I wrote all of it!” The interviewer, David Ehrenstein, then speculated it was the first romantic declaration of love between men in commercial American film. “Really?” River responded. “No other time before this? That’s beautiful. I’m so proud. That’s great. Cool! That makes me feel good!” Not as articulate, perhaps, as the liberal patter of celebrities who tell the Advocate how comfortable they are with lesbian and gay people, and how they would certainly play a gay role if the right one came along – but as it happens, more truthful

- The Washington Post, November 1993

hello friends so i’ve always been very vocal about my sexuality on this blog in terms of being bisexual. the bisexual label gave me a home in the LGBT community that i desperately needed growing up and in my early adult life.

but as the years have passed, i’ve examined a lot of my own behaviors. my standards are ridiculously high for men, like i’m waiting for them to say something i don’t like so i can stop talking to them. i haven’t been with a man since my relationship almost 4 years ago. i genuinely loved him, but he was the last for me in a long string of men who abused, assaulted, and mistreated me, and who i allowed to do it because a man liked me, and i should just be thankful, right?

i deserve better than settling. i think about marriage with a man and i know i never want it. men make me uncomfortable, the thought of ending up with a man forever is something i can’t process, and there are so many things about heterosexual relationships that i just don’t want.

i haven’t dated a girl since middle school. i haven’t kissed one since i suggested roleplaying games in elementary school that involved me playing the guy so i had a wife. i don’t have any tangible evidence to solidify my attraction to women, but what i do have is the certainty that i love being around women. they make me feel safe, my standards for them aren’t anywhere near as high as they are for men. i love the idea of saying “my girlfriend” or “my wife” someday.

it took me awhile to come to this conclusion because i thought i wasn’t allowed to use a label. i’ve been with men and genuinely loved them, so obviously i’m attracted to them right? but as i’ve learned and researched, that’s okay. maybe bisexual fit me at one point in my life, but it doesn’t now.

so to get to the point, because i always want to share my life with you guys, and i want to be honest about where i am, and because as i’ve come to the conclusion, i’ve been dying to just say it and tell everyone:

hey, i’m a lesbian. 🌈👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

symphonysonata  asked:

Okay, I heard someone say Burgerpants and I came running. My man. My main man. Face of the customer service revolution. On a scale from one to Sans, how many emotional breakdowns do you have in a day? Actually, a better question would be do you need a hug? Too bad, you're getting one anyways. Shh. Don't fight it. Let it all out, BP.

“What?  Someone came running for me?  This has gotta be some kinda joke, right?”

“In times like these, I have to play it cool.  I’ve been called a cool cat.  Once.  In a dream.  During the day.  A daydream.”

“Shit, I’m rambling, I’m totally blowing this.”

“Emotional break-downs?  Little Buddy, my entire life is just one big emotional break-down!  I’m barely holding it together!  Take it from me; it’s easier not to have dreams!  Then you don’t have to worry about life cru–”

He pauses.  You’re hugging him.  He wasn’t expecting that.

Slowly… his arms lift to encircle you.  He’s vibrating with excitement.  

Oh wait.  He’s purring.

“Can…. Can we stay like this?”


Originally posted by baekvanilla

Title: Cuddles

Pairing: Chanyeol x Reader


Word Count: 450

Lips pressed against your head a soft hum coming from the stranger as they snaked their arms around you.

“Chanyeol not now I am busy. I don’t have time to cuddle,”

The man behind you slumped slightly, surely a pout written on his cute face as he put his chin on your head, huffing as a response to yours.

“Look I promised you I would cuddle with you but my Professor just laid this assignment on me and I have to get it done by the end of the week, you have to understand that.”

“I do, but you haven’t taken a break in the last 8 hours and I miss you. Take a break and just come cuddle with me for ten minutes I need my daily y/n time,” he protests but lets go of you, knowing full well your answer already.

“I am sorry Chanyeol I am almost done and I will give you my full attention just let me get done with this page okay,” you say, exhaustion visible on your face as you turned to face him, sure enough, the pout still on his face.

“Fine, I understand,” he says as he turns, leaving you to study in silence.


A few hours later Chanyeol returned, growing impatient of waiting any longer only to see your head on the desk.

As he stepped closer he noticed your eyes were closed, your brow furrowed, mouth slightly open.

Chuckling all annoyance fell from his face as he quickly picked you up, careful not to wake you as he moved you to your bed. Normally he would sleep in the living room but tonight he wanted to be next to you, to cuddle up to you.

Slowly he tucked you into bed, laying down next to you and putting his arms around you. Your sleeping figure pressed into his chest, his warmth making you feel safe.

Smiling he watched as you continued to sleep, pressing a few kisses on your cheek and temple. To him, you were the cutest being in existence. Even with a line of drool now falling from your mouth to which he smirked a little, making a point to tease you about it later.

After a few moments, he started to doze off as well, his arm around you tightening as his head dropped to the pillow. Sleep slowly overcoming him as well, but not before hearing your sweet sleepy voice mumble his favorite words. “I love you Chanyeol,”

His eyes shot open only for a wide smile to spread across his face. “I love you to Y/n,” he said before closing his eyes once more and quickly following you into dreamland.

Full Masterlist | Exo Masterlist 

Mini update

Hello there. It me. I’m quietly hanging out here still trying to figure my stuff out, like we all are I guess.

Work has gotten much better lately. Remember all that extra work I had been doing that was someone else’s responsibility? I suppose in hindsight I handled it and myself well because I worked my way into becoming the head of a new department that I’ll help develop. 😳 How cool is that! Val, head of the new financial intelligence unit. Ya don’t say. I’m excited man! I’ve been in this department just over a year. I wouldn’t have guessed this would all happen so quickly but I will sure take it.

With new and growing responsibilities at work, I’m feeling even more like I need to take better care of myself – finally grow up and adult more. I take care of everything and everyone else and then kinda do so-so with myself and my health. It’s time to change that. Also I would really love my pants to fit again. That would be lovely.

Otherwise things are going well for me. I’m happy. We’ll hopefully get out on the boat this weekend. I’ll be back here and posting more often soon enough. I miss it.

Happy Friday!

Nick’s bad case of...

Nick is not always trusted alone because he sometimes has a bad case of pregnancy brain XD So Finnick decides to help Nick out by going to the store with him, while Judy is at work.

Nick: I’m glad that you came. It will help me not to forget stuff. *starts taking off his seat belt while the van is still moving and opens the door*

Finnick: I’m glad I can help out. I–  *notices Nick and grabs him by the arm* Whoa, whoa! - Whoa, whoa, whoa! Man, are you crazy!!!-

Nick: Why didn’t you stop first!!?


Finnick: *huffs* We’ve been standing in the frozen food aisle for half an hour.

Nick: I need something frozen.

Finnick: What?

Nick: I don’t know. I just wrote the word “frozen”

Finnick: Okay. Uh, let’s think. Peas. Ice cream. Pizza. Waffles.

Nick: Wait a minute. It says “dozen”. I need eggs! That’s right, eggs! Ughh I’m such a dumb fox.

I was talking with Hannah last night and realized the part of the reason I like Will He so much is because it reminds me of IDWWMT and also that the songs could connect to each other. IDWWMT is about someone cheating on a person right, as said by the man himself, and if that’s the case then Will He could be the fall out of the cheating. The relationship broke up and the singer is the one at fault, of course they still had feelings for the person but they know they did a shitty thing and all they want now is to know if the person they loved is happy with someone new.

“Cause I don’t need to know, I just wanna make sure you’re okay” is the same sentiment as “I don’t need to know about what you do when the sun goes down” and it’s a beautiful bit of continuation.

anonymous asked:

omg give it up. The ONLY person who thinks about fucking Darren is YOU & kids who can't comprehend boundaries. The rest of us ADULTS understand how this works. We don't have any investment in who he is or isn't sleeping with. Those of us who understand boundaries let Darren live however he wants. YOU are inappropriately & childishly obsessed with where his penis goes. Celebs hire security for ppl like you. Darren is just like you-what happens outside of work is not relevant to his-or your-job.

I missed you my friend. I’m not blocking you because you always give me the best laughs. Well, if i had a d**  and the opportunity of a total consensual relationship with him i would probably give to the thing a though…also in C’s case, you know that they are two gorgeous man. But sadly for you i don’t need this kind of fantasies to support artists like them and i respect their real relationship.

Said that, you call yourself an adult but you decided to come to my ask and harassing me.

I don’t really care where his penis goes at the end of the day or during the day or whenever. I’m here on my blog, minding my own business and supporting my favorite actors. So, take my advice: go out and live your life the fullest, because i can’t care a flying f* about what you have to say. Do you wanna believe in what it’s only fake pr? Be my guest.

anonymous asked:

I think in general diverse or progressive media is under more scrutiny than regular media. Like you can have the billionth superhero film that only casts white men, and one white woman to be a sex object, and no one cares. The fanboys will rush to see it and if you don't think you'll like it you won't bother. But things like the 100 and the handmaid's tale get flak for not addressing EVERY. SINGLE. ISSUE. at once. Which is stupid because not every show needs to address everything, or be perfect

I have noticed that happening too. Like a black sidekick is JUST FINE. Especially if he is SUPER AWESOME and perfect. I’m sorry I love Diggle, but that’s what he is. But it’s still a white man lead super hero show and the various casts of multicultural sidekicks don’t change that.  But it doesn’t rock the boat.

This one? This rocks the boat. 

Lead Bisexual female? She acts as an actual bisexual, and it rocks the boat, because it comes so close to what people want for their WLW representation, but it’s, well, it’s bisexual, not lesbian. And so they feel betrayed. 

Having a mixed race Filipino lead male? It’s amazing. He’s complex and morally gray and always learning, but it disturbs people greatly that he has to suffer and is placed in a not always perfect light. On a show that is literally about delinquents surviving the apocalypse, they want their representation to be perfect and always win and always a good guy. So they feel betrayed.

We have the WHOLE Arkadia storyline, and there is precisely ONE straight white male in it, and he’s suffering from mental illness, and rather than recognizing that the whole story, especially the political one, is lead by POC characters, we say it’s “demonizing” the black man. I mean. Okay. Pike was the bad guy. And he was fighting with Kane, (a half Chilean man, not a white man) over the soul of our POC male hero. But what they see is a dark story line for their fav POC characters. So they feel betrayed.

I don’t know. I think we’ve got some dark, edgy shows, like The 100 and TWD, about apocalypse and survival, and they have a lot more diversity in them, because of the genre. And people who are looking for diversity… well they don’t always want to see the darkness. But the darkness allows the shows to present a world that is NOT like this one. 

We really do need more diversity in our representation, more shows where we get to see conventional stories with people of many races and cultures… but the more conventional a story is, the less likely they are going to represent diverse people? So we’ve got a catch 22 right? 

We need the lesbian fairy tales, and the multicultural Friends, and the rom com with immigrants, and the fat girls kicking ass. And we’re not getting them yet. It’s better than it used to be, but we’re not there yet. 

mishaisadorkable  asked:

I watched the episode tonight and honestly.... JACK IS CASTIEL & DEAN'S SON AND NOTHING CAN TELL ME OTHERWISE... SAM IS SUCH AN OPTIMISTIC MOOSE BOI AND I LOVE HIM.... THEY SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT BACK KEVIN INSTEAD... LUCI IS A LIL HOE... NEEDS CAS.... seriously though... WHERE THE FUCK IS CAS, MY GAY NERD ANGEL BABY CHILD? I literally cry more when I don't see Misha's name in the credits then at character's death.... I just want my Cas back :(

OKAY TRUE BRING MY SMALL MUNCHKIN KEVIN BACK ( and Charlie smh) . Ok Luci is a little bitch BUT when creep man tried to do whatever he was trying to do to Mary, Luci straight up shoved his FIST THROUGH THE GUY’S STOMACH. LIKE HELL YES BABY . I support male feminist Lucifer oops

anonymous asked:

momma i need help. i have this friend and i don't like her at all. she's rude and racist and homophobic, but she also has really bad depression and anxiety. if i leave her she'll kill herself, but if i don't i think i might end up killing myself. she's almost exactly the same as the man that emotionally abused me for years, always telling me how much they need me and that they would die without me. i don't know what to do. please help me momma

You already see the signs of abuse. It’s time to get out. Give her the contacts to a hotline (Like crisis text) and then block her. You don’t deserve to be manipulated.

-Lou the Lobster


Let me share something with you. There’s a very important word that many people in this world don’t understand the meaning of. It’s short, simple, and can truly only be interpreted one way. That word is NO. It pains me to think of the number of human beings on planet earth that refuse to heed this word, warning, declaration.

Today, a co-worker at my place of employment tried to take me into a secure room. A room with only one locked door, thick concrete walls, and no windows, cameras, or witnesses. I know this man to be abusive and, simply put, a creep. He said he needed to get some supplies from this secure room, which requires duel control to enter. I said no. Not once, or twice, but three times. He became frustrated, and tried walking into me to force me to move forward. My politeness abruptly disappeared. My fourth and final NO was loud, boisterous, and drew the attention of nearby employees. I told him for the last time that I would not be entering this room with him without another employee present. He became irate, but I honestly don’t remember most of what he said, because my PTSD reared it’s ugly head. You see, my no has been ignored before, and as I stood there, heart pounding, waiting for another co-worker to come along, I was taken back to the night a gun was pointed at my chest. I didn’t see the aggressive employee standing beside me, I saw the man who held me down and took every last ounce of dignity and honor and security I had. That man…he was supposed to be trustworthy. I should have been able to trust that man with my life, and yet he took the gift I was saving for my husband. That night, it felt as if a part of my soul had been utterly destroyed, and the rest of it defiled. And I’ll do anything in my power to prevent that from happening again. So today, that final NO was not quiet. It was not soft. It left no room for argument or misinterpretation. It drew attention of witnesses. It humiliated the man who dared to command me to put myself in a compromising position. Praises be, he heeded the threat and ire burning in my eyes. And I saved myself.

I wish it were always so simple. I wish no meant no. I wish that those with ill intentions and evil in their hearts listened when we stand our ground. Sadly, that’s most often not the case. But today I learned that NO is one more step of protection I can take. And so can you. It’s okay to draw attention. It’s okay to humiliate the person making you uncomfortable if that is what it takes to get them to back off. Scream it. Shout it. Stamp your foot. Let them see the fire in your eyes. Don’t back down when they keep pressing you. Stand your ground. Be stronger. Be louder. Be the voice that they fear. And know that you are never alone. I stand with you. #metoo

anonymous asked:

Hi Mister. I'm a 34 year old little and I'm having trouble finding a Daddy. Most are very young and find my age a problem. Do you think 34 is too old to be a little?

It’s probably not in your best interest to have a young daddy anyway. Most of them are inexperienced, I have not been well trained, and are basically not capable of taking care of your needs.

Now that’s not to say that a young daddy couldn’t do the job… It’s just not common that they are well equipped enough in maturity and experience to do so without the proper mentor or some kind of actual training.

Especially in this day and age when most of them don’t even know how to be a man to begin with due to a lack of proper peer ship in their own homes growing up.

I was mentored for a handful of years before I would even consider having my first sub. It was more of a thing of respect for me to wait and be patient until I thought that I was appropriately ready.

Now as far as your age goes… It’s just a matter of just because you don’t see it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.

There are several Littles who follow me who are in their 40s and even 50s. Some of them have children in college. Some of them have children in high school. Some of them are married to their daddies and have been for decades.

It’s just unfortunate that the main thing that you see on tumblr a lot of the time is the aesthetic, and not the actual relationships or people behind them.

Don’t give up hope… Just keep searching for the one that deserves your great gift of submission. If you work hard enough and are patient enough, it will happen.

Imagine having someone that wants to date you. Like, for realsies, no jokes no oh I didn’t mean it like thats or I don’t care how close or far we are I just want us to be together even if it’s only through words and not physically for nows. Like it’s one thing to have people call you cute and say they *wish* they could date you, it’s a whole different ballpark to have someone that *wants* to do it and *tries* to do it.

Imagine it? Imagine being that needed? That wanted?? Lord.

You ever just so lonely that your chest tightens up and it feels like you’re choking on your own throat?Fuck, man, I’d give anything in the world just for a *hug* right now. Or just someone saying they miss me? I would legit burst into tears if someone told me they missed me right now. No joke, the waterworks are primed and ready to begin. It’d be Alice in Wonderland up in here.

This is some Castaway levels of lonely. I wish I knew that it would change one day? I hate not knowing for sure. It’s such a buzzkill.

I’m gonna go arrange the laundry on my bed into a vague human lump and spoon it now. Night, peeps.

Writing Prompts

Credit to fanficmarvelchick 

Send me a quote with a character and I’ll write a one shot/drabble.

1. “Don’t you say that… not you”
2. “I know it’s 3 in the morning, but I can’t find my cat”
3. “Make me”
4. “Is that my shirt?”
5. “If you walk out that door… don’t you ever come back”
6. “Don’t you die on me”
7. “Please… just leave me alone”
8. “I can’t keep fighting like this”
9. “I need you”
10. “Where were you when I needed you?”
11. “Will you just shut up for a minute and let me think?!”
12. “I just want you to be happy”
13. “It’s time to say goodbye”
14. “Please…stay…”
15. “I don’t want to hurt you”
16. “Just shut up and kiss me”
17. “Ignore me, I didn’t see anything”
18. “I wish I could stop loving you”
19. “I’m scared”
20. “I’ll protect you no matter what… even if it kills me”
21. “You knocked on my door at 1 in the morning, to cuddle?”
22. “I can’t do this without you”
23. “Love is stupid”
24. “I trusted you”
25. “No, please don’t!”
26. “I’m not gonna let you get yourself killed!”
27. “I’m with you okay? Always”
28. “I thought you loved me”
29. “I told you this would happen”
30. “What? You think you’re the only one suffering?”
31. “You’re alive?!”
32. “Don’t you try and pin this on me!”
33. “Why are you like this?”
34. “If you really love me, you’ll let me go”
35. “Why are you looking at me like that”
36. “I hate you”
37. “Because I love you god damn it!”
38. “Oh well good for you”
39. “I’m not gonna keep having this conversation”
40. “I could hold you forever”
41. “Every time I see you, I fall in love with you all over again”
42. “This is hard for me too”
43. “Squeeze my hand if you can hear me”
44. “Close your eyes”
45. “Will you marry me?”
46. “I’m in love…shit”
47. “Go on, I dare you”
48. “Kiss me.”
49. “I’d rather die”
50. “Please… I need you”

you’re what i deserve

Originally posted by taeminihyuk

Title: you’re what i deserve
Pairing: Lee Jinki/Reader
Genre: Idol!AU
Summary: Jinki never truly believed that there could be someone that made his heart race, but when he met certain idol…he knew that waiting for that feeling had been the right idea. Perhaps, someone like that it’s just what Jinki deserves.
Note: I’d like to dedicate this to my darling mutual @hitchhikingbabeh because she absolutely (does not) hates this man called Lee Jinki. Hope you like it!

More often than not, Jinki is good at hiding his feelings.

Yet, the phrase more often than not does not mean always and Jinki had his little quirks that people needed to study close enough to know what was what was going on through his brain. Most fans don’t notice when he is saddened and his eyes are asking someone to save him, they don’t notice when he is truly happy with tears marking his eyes and words not leaving his lips as he stutters out sentences of thankfulness. They don’t notice when he has allergies, when he is heartbroken, when his stomach is killing him, they are symptoms, feelings even, one or two that bubble up from time to time but he hides it behind that usual gummy smile. Not that Jinki was hurting, but he was human and humans went through changes so he doesn’t expect people to understand him. But fans are intelligent, some of them cleverer than others and when he starts seeing videos of himself on the internet about those feelings that he worked so hard on hiding, he was frightened. That video is shown to him by Kibum, who was always very aware of what fans said and what they didn’t, he was very communicative with every single one of them, though generally, so the least he could do was actually explain to him the entire situation. Shipping, so they call it, but he didn’t expect to be wanted as a couple by people with his crush, his real life crush, who was also a performer like himself.

Check in minute 1:34!  He is staring at her as she goes up the stairs to introduce the next artist!  So cute, Onew!” Kibum reads in the most serious tone of voice he can get while trying not to tease his friend, but a smirk was over his face when he saw Jinki’s widened eyes as he looked at the video, sitting down beside Kibum on the couch of his friend’s apartment. Truth be told, he had looked at her…how could he not when she was absolutely beautiful in that short dress he wore? But it had been a few months ever since he started crushing on her and no one ever caught him. “Here is another one,” Kibum clears his throat and he tries a few times to get a girly tone. “I can’t believe you have done this to us!  Please don’t date, Jinki!” Kibum sighs as he shakes his head, looking through comments of the two minutes video. “That one was dumb, absolutely.”

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