HOW MUCH LONGER? Pt 4 - JASON MCCANN
Heart pounding, head throbbing and skin sheeted in a thin layer of sweat as I bounced up and down. He lay in the same state as me, only with less of a relaxed expression and more of a tensed one. Instantly, without having to think I knew it was because of my rank. Who I was.
Y/N fucking L/N. Americans most wanted female.
Continuing my thrusts in an upbeat pase, I almost screamed in rage once feeling his hands snake up my thighs to grip my waist. He knew well who was in charge. And I didn’t like getting being touched, not even while I was having sex.
Only he could touch me. No one compared to him.
And this guy was not him.
With a snarl on my lips, I allowed my head to roll down to face the boy underneath me, showing I was not happy with his choice of where to position his hands.
The boy instantly retreated his hands back down to the white sheets, where his fists curled around the fabric instead.
“Fuck, I’m close.” He growled, voice strained and raspy.
“Me too.” It came out almost as a whisper. My pase fastened at the feeling of my high approaching but I’ll admit, it did take a little longer then I hoped for it to finally approach and take a hold of me.
After a few more sloppy thrusts, I finally threw myself onto the bed beside me, the boy underneath me making no effort to move.
“That…was amazing.” He sighed breathlessly. My face twisted slightly at the words. Was it really that good? Definetly didn’t feel like it.
“Yeaahh-noo not really.” I dragged out. But the boy seemed Unphased by my words.
suddenly turning towards me, a hand snaking around my waist as he nuzzled his head into the crook of my neck, an awkward feeling placed itself over my shoulders at the non existent attempt this boy was making at leaving.
I really didn’t think this guy was one to fuck and stay. I honestly thought that after a good fuck, he would leave. Which both he did none of.
My eyes wide in shock, body stiff as a rock, it was only a few seconds that had passed before I cleared my throat and shrugged his arm off my waist.
“Yeah I’m not one for one night stands. Think of this more as a booty call.” I explained, scooting my way off the bed.
“Wait, you want me to leave?” He asked in disbelief.
“Precisely!” I smiled.
After running around the room, picking up the few discarded clothing items which he had been wearing at the club we met in earlier, a look of shock hit his face as I aggressively threw his clothes over to him, showing no interest in the boy after a rather intimate 20 minutes.
He didn’t move. Staring at the clothing in his lap with a blank, almost saddened expression, but no sympathy was evident on mine. As I stood watching the boy which I had not learnt the name of, an agitated sigh escaped my lips at his attempt of leaving. Finally becoming fed up with his clinginess.
“Can you hurry up and get the fuck out?!” I spat.
The boys eyes shot up to mine in shock, quickly scurrying off the sheets to slide his alcohol stenched clothing back on.
With a roll of my eyes, I watched as he pathetically stumbled around the room in attempt to ready himself in a short amount of time before finally beginning to make his way towards my bedroom door.
A smile fell upon my face at the realization that he was finally leaving, and decided that it was probably best if I lead him out the house myself, instead of risking him walking into a confidential room and expose a stash of something illegal.
After throwing my silk, ankle length robe on, I crept out of the room in attempt to not wake anyone up at this hour of the night, it was a reliever to finally make it to the front door.
As I opened the barrier for the boy, I couldn’t help but roll my eyes when he turned back around to look my way just seconds before he was outside.
“I had really good time tonight.”
Here we go.
“Really?” I asked sarcastically in a unamused tone while looking doing on my nails.
“I mean, yeah. And I was wondering if you would maybe wanna do something else together?” He smiled.
My eyes wondered to the ceiling in bordom, not giving two shits about what this kid had to say.
“Yeah you see, I would do that but…you kinda sucked, and I’m not really looking for a relationship, especially with some minor from a shitty club.” I fired, eyeing the boy in disapproval.
His face fell, eyes showing defeat before I pushed him the extra few feet back and shut the door with a lock in his face.
“Well aren’t you a delight to speak too.” His voice was smug with a hint of morning rasp to his tone, emitting that he had either just woken up or had just been dosing off.
My body spun around to meet his figure standing lazily at the door frame with an arm resting against it. He looked amazingly sexy standing by the entrance with nothing but the dim hallway light to illuminate his body. But in between the dark shadows and small amount of light, you could just make out his detailed tattoos inked onto his godly body.
Which may I say was almost completely bare.
A pair of grey sweatpants hung low on his hips, exposing not only his signature Calvin Kleins, but also a well defined v-line which sadly dissapeared into the waistband of his clothes.
“What are you doing awake?” I questioned.
“I’m a criminal Y/N. I practically sleep with one eye open, I can wake up to the sound of a pin dropping, and in case you haven’t realized, your a lot louder then a pin.” He sighed, running a hand through his bed head.
“Jealous?” I smirked to which he scowled.
“I’m not jealous of some flat chested fuckboy” Jason growled to which my smirk grew.
“It’s kind of hard to be jealous of yourself Jason.”
“Real mature! I wasn’t jealous.” He spat. “I just wanted to get some sleep but you and your everlasting fuck buddy don’t know what indoor voices are.”
My eyes trailed over his fingers tangled in his hair, licking my lips slightly to gain moisture from the sudden loss. Oh what those fingers could and have done to me. “Yeah well now you know how I feel when you decide to play with your toy.”
Jason chuckled, his eyes closing as he shook his head at the ground. “You always have something to say. Don’t you?”
“Wouldn’t be most wanted female if I didn’t. No one controls me. Never have, never will.” I added
“You see, that’s where I come in.” He stepped forward. “Being americas most wanted male. I was able to control you. That’s what makes me so bad.”
“Shut up, you didn’t control me!” I retorted. “If anything, i controlled you! That’s what makes me so bad.”
“No sweetheart, you must be mistaken. I control - others play along. Not the other way round.”
My heart fluttered at the nickname. Sweetheart. Even if it was sarcastic, I still missed the nicknames he had for me. In fact, I just missed him in general.
“What-the-fuck-ever Jason. I’m not in the mood for you tonight!” I shouted, hands wailing around widely.
“Wow, was the fuck that bad?” He chuckled to which I scowled. “Wouldn’t blame him, you always seemed to pick up bad fucks.” He chuckled but he really just inflicted this one himself.
“Then it’s no wonder I picked up you.”
Jason’s chuckle ceased, eyes burning with a unlit flame. No one ever calls Jason McCann a bad fuck and gets away with it but I couldn’t help and push his buttons today. He wouldn’t dare do anything to me.
Jason’s movements began with a few slow steps before picking up to a fast stride. Hands both fisted at his sides in anger before he was only a mere few inches in front of my face.
With one hand pushing me to the door, the other punching the wall beside me, startling me ever so slightly. His face was so close that with every breath he took, I could see his nose flaring. Eyes burning holes through my own.
“Say it again. I dare you.” He spat lowly.
I knew it was sarcastic and practically printed in ‘no’s! But my mind was telling me to press his buttons a little harder and see how far we could lead him on. Because something in my head knew he wouldn’t hurt me, even if he wanted to.
“Your a bad fuck.” I rephrased slowly.
Shocking me sightly once a literal growl left his throat, my eyes burned in shock and amusement while watching the boy.
“You think your fucking funny. So fucken smart? ‘Jason and I dated, he wouldn’t hurt me’. Well guess again princess. Might wanna rethink that.”
“Okay give me a minute….yeah still the same. I know you wouldn’t hurt me.” I smirked.
“You sure about that?”
“Well your wrong.” He spat.
“Oh yeah?” I growled. “Prove it.”
Jason stopped, his eyes softening slightly as he slowly and barely noticeably stepped back.
“C'mon Jason.” I pressed on. “Prove it. Show me that there is nothing between us stopping you. Prove that you still don’t feel anything for me, and hit me!”
He did nothing. “C'mon! Don’t be a pussy. Hit me! If your so baddass.”
Still nothing. That’s when my voice fell a few octaves, my tone matching his features - soft and sad. “Show me that you don’t still love me, the way I still love you, and beat me. Hit me so hard I fall to the floor. Punch my so agrresively I’ll bruise. Just do something because this is killing me! I need you to do something I can hate you for because I feel like shit knowing that what we are now is all my fault.”
Tears began welling in my eyes. Shocking not only me but Jason as well. I don’t cry, but then Again neither does he. Yet he still managed to shed a few tears the day i left. How do we do this to each other? I dont know.
“Please.” I begged, voice weak. “Just make me hate you cause loving you is too much…. Please.”
Jason stood staring for a while before looking down at the floor, eyes turning red and puffy, but not glossy with tears. At least not yet. “I can’t. I can’t because then I’d never be able to forgive myself. Knowing I hurt the person I love.”
My heart fell. Love?
“I thought I hated you after realizing that I did nothing wrong. That you left me believing it was all my fault. I tried moving on with another girl, going on more missions and even trying to force myself to hate you but I didn’t. I couldn’t. It’s like your family. No matter how hard you try to get rid of them you can’t. Cause they will always - not matter what - be family. Just like you always - no matter what - will be the girl I love.”
“Jason.” I sobbed.
Without another thought, I was In his arms, diving into his chest. Not even realizing that a small puddle of tears had formed on my own shoulder as well as Jason’s chest.
“I’m sorry.” I cried.
“Me too baby girl. Me too”
One more chapter to go!!!