I’m going to admit…this stung - way more than it should have. I’ll tell you why.
Using profanity is an emotional response, literally your first and most visceral reaction (like mine.) He didn’t. It was calm and measured.
He zeroed in on an insecurity a lot of trans women have. If he had said I was fat, I could easily laugh that off because I’m not even close to being overweight, and even if I was, I could do something about it. But an Adam’s apple? It doesn’t matter how long you’re on HRT - it can only be reduced by surgery, which at this point in time is out of my reach.
The worst part? I had to think about what he was referring to (part of my intro is along the lines of “If you can’t tell by my user name, I’m a transgender woman…”)
Thinking about it let it get inside my head. It made me think of all my other features I’m overly self-conscious about. Changes that are (like I already said) out of my reach right now because surgeries are expensive. On top of that, some things, like hip shape, become permanent during puberty and can’t be changed. Period.
Ruminating further brings me to conclude just how absurd guys can be. Think about it - You’re a dude checking out profiles on a dating app. The first things you see are the main pic and match percentage. You have to click on it to actually read their profile. What makes people click on a certain profile?
“I find this person conventionally attractive and they’re in the same area as I am.”
(Not in so many words, but you get the point.) *Clicks link, reads part of intro*
“Oh no! A complete stranger that I thought was attractive 2 seconds ago was born with the same genitals as I was! But…but…I’m a straight MAN! I like vagina and this person wasn’t born with one! I can’t find them attractive - I’m not gay!”
Maybe a bit over dramatic, but being ridiculous makes it easier to process. For guys like this, gender = whatever genitals you had at birth, neo-vaginas don’t count. Taking that and the deeply ingrained idea that being gay is wrong and somehow a threat to their masculinity they then have to reassert.
So, they gotta knock you down a peg. Can’t have you getting too proud of yourself.
Whatever. I’m just over here…continuing to exist and shit.