i do the same thing in all states of mind

3

Trans Day of Visibility!

My name is Kal (he/him). Two years ago I came out to all my family and friends. A lot has changed in those twenty-four months: a name, a voice, a smile — a perspective, among other things. I like to think who I am has not changed, but more how much of myself I share and how am with others. I’m the same as before, except I’m more honest.

I still carry sadness and find myself still dissatisfied with my form, my state of mind, my living situation. I suppose that means I have more growing to do.

Two years down, one lifetime ahead.

To love in Greek
  • Σ’ αγαπώ -  I love you
  • αγαπώ - to love
  • αγάπη - love (noun)
  • Μου λείπεις - I miss you
  • Σε θέλω - I want you
  • Σε σκέφτομαι - You are on my mind (literally: I am thinking about you)
  • Θέλω να σε δω - I want to see you
  • Μου αρέσεις πολύ - I like you a lot
  • Είσαι (πολύ) όμορφος (m) / όμορφη (f) - You are (very) beautiful
  • Θέλω να σε φιλήσω - I want to kiss you
  • φιλάω - to kiss
  • φιλί - kiss (noun)
  • Θέλω να σε αγκαλιάσω - I want to hug you
  • αγκαλιάζω - to hug
  • αγκαλιά - hug (noun)
  • Είμαι ερωτευμένος (m) / ερωτευμένη (f) μαζί σου - I am in love with you
  • Μ’ αγαπάς; - Do you love me?
  • Σου αρέσω; - Do you like me?

Extra: καψούρα - This one cannot be translated, it is strongly context-related and it’s kinda a greek thing (the way it is manifested), something like love, crush, passion, obsession, pain, tears etc. all together and at the same time. Καψούρα is a special greek state of mind. 

Do you have love words (or emotions) in your mother tongues that cannot really be translated in other languages because they are context/culture-related?

Let me know if you want me to add more words :)

Autistic Todoroki Shouto.

This is my analysis of Todoroki’s autistic behavior and why I strongly headcanon him to be autistic. I will be using pictures from the manga to back my arguments up. This got a bit out of hand, length-wise, so i’m going to put in under a read-more!

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A Lesson in Love (Defining the Relationship)

Summary: (College!AU) In which you’re assigned to write a story about romance, a subject you know nothing about, and Bucky, a hopeless romantic, offers you his assistance.

Pairing: Bucky x Reader

Word Count: 3,206

A/N: The tag list for this story is officially CLOSED.

“A Lesson in Love” Masterlist + Soundtrack

Originally posted by imaginingbucky

“Hello, Y/N.”

“Hey, T,” you respond, moving all of your stuff off the empty desk beside you to make space for T’Challa to sit. He sidesteps a couple of people standing in his way, leaning out of harm’s way when someone swings their arm out without realizing he’s there and slides into the desk with ease. His movements are as catlike and agile as you remember.

“I must admit, I was pretty nervous when Hill said she was choosing who was going to read over our drafts.” He reaches into his backpack and pulls out a folder. It’s black, which doesn’t surprise you; it’s safe to say that black is his favorite color. “But when she called my name after yours, I felt like I could breathe again.”

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Fate. (Harrison Osterfield.)

Requested – Yes.

Prompt – Tom and you have been longtime Internet friends and Harrison has a crush on you but you and Harrison have never met. Tom starts thinking of ways to hook the two of you up.

Warning – Harrison feels.

Words – 1,305.

Requests?

Isn’t it crazy how fate works in the most mysterious ways? Everything you do and say leads up to a moment in time that can make or break your life. Every person that you meet can lead to something significant such as meeting the love of your life. Do not take any moment for granted, live with it and see where it takes you even if it is negative. It’s meant to happen for a reason.

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cognitive dissonance for dummies (aka wtf happened to this fandom)

cognitive dissonance is a psychological phenomenon in which a person holds two opposing ‘truths’ in their mind at the same time and their brain works over time to try and aeorbicize all of that information together in a way that prevents them from having to face the fact that they were wrong about something.

Cognitive dissonance is a state of tension that occurs whenever a person holds two cognitions (ideas, attitudes, beliefs, opinions) that are psychologically inconsistent, such as “Smoking is a dumb thing to do because it could kill me” and “I smoke two packs a day.” Dissonance produces mental discomfort, ranging from minor pangs to deep anguish; people don’t rest easy until they find a way to reduce it. 

In this example, the most direct way for a smoker to reduce dissonance is by quitting. But if she has tried to quit and failed, now she must reduce dissonance by convincing herself that smoking isn’t really so harmful, or that smoking is worth the risk because it helps her relax or prevents her from gaining weight (and after all, obesity is a health risk, too), and so on. Most smokers manage to reduce dissonance in many such ingenious, if self-deluding, ways.

another popular term for this is “doublethink” and it was coined in the George Orwell classic “1984″:

cognitive dissonance in our fandom typically occurs when people believe one thing is going to happen, and then when the opposite happens instead, people struggle to try and reimagine and misconstrue the facts to fit their deeply held belief/idea/attitude/opinion.

for at least a year, the dominant fandom opinion has been: 

harry will not release solo music until he’s free to be himself and be honest and his music will be entirely gender neutral. all of OTs tactics will no longer come into play - no more stalkers, no more het stunts, not more sun exclusives, no more dan wootton. by the time harry releases solo music, it will signify a very positive change for the state of the band and the fandom because his new team will be on the scene. we know they’ve been fighting against sony and simon cowell for the past few years so of course harry’s rebrand and broader plans for his career will be innovative and won’t rely on the same cheap pr stunts and sales tactics OT used. (not everyone agreed on all of those points, but most people believed in at least the general gist of it.)

but then harry did go solo. and nothing changed

his ‘new team’ is just as happy to rely on het stunts, stalkers, and dan wootton as OT did. in fact, harry is more involved in the het stunts now than he has been for years and whatever positive image work happened in 2014 to lead harry towards a glass closet has swiftly (pun intended) been undone in the span of a month and a half.

harry’s ~miraculous new team, the saviours of the fandom~ have proven that they care about one thing and one thing only: using our loyalty to the boys and to harry to make as much money as they possibly can. we’re expendable to them. we mean nothing beyond how widely we’re willing to open our wallets. we’re all fair game to be manipulated in the name of making a few bucks.

that’s a hard pill to swallow for a fandom full of people who referred to irving azoff as ‘grandpa’ just a year ago.

so tl;dr - our fandom headcanon for what was going to happen with the band and with harry moving forward was wrong.

enter the cognitive dissonance: 

on the one hand, we have people who are able to admit that things aren’t actually looking so great and yikes is this really the angle harry’s promo is going to follow and wtf is jeff even being paid for he’s basically replicating simon cowell’s tactics. these people are able to say ‘oh shit. we were wrong. i can admit it. time to go back to the drawing board and face the facts.

on the other hand, we have people who were so positive good things were coming and who are absolutely unable to accept that the ideas they were pushing about the azoffs saving the band and harry’s amazing rainbow filled glass closet of a solo career aren’t real. these are the people who will refuse to admit that they were wrong (about anything), who attack anyone who does openly voice their concerns or criticisms (because those opinions are a direct attack on the cognitive dissonance they’re subconsciously clinging to) and who will engage in some of the most absurd mental gymnastics this fandom has ever seen to justify what’s happening.

which ultimately leads to people saying things like, “dan keeps breaking his NDAs and the sun doesn’t have access to harry [spoiler: he isn’t and they do]”, “harry’s album isn’t het [IT VERY MUCH IS]”, “woman’ is gender neutral [woman, a gender, *is not gender neutral*]”, and “stalkers are blackmailing harry’s team and that’s why they’re still given priority access to harry [this is just as bad as the antis who believed briana had blackmailed her way into a people magazine exclusive … uh nope doesn’t work like that].”

One of These Kids are Not Like the Others

Originally posted by infiniitywars

Request: (by anon) Love this blog! Could you do a Winn oneshot about 2x11 with the White Martian? Maybe just including the reader in the story and having them look for Winn/worry about him, and comfort him after?

Pairing: Winn Schott x Reader feat. Supergirl, Alex, J’onn, and M’gann

Warnings: spoilers for 2x11, some swearing, lots of mentions of guns

Words: 4905 <-Ok, now this is the longest fic I’ve ever written!

A/N: So, I skipped over a couple of requests so that I could get this one out before tonight’s new episode and I failed! I was so close, but alas, here it is coming out after 2x12. Oh well. :P Now I’m going to go back and continue to work on those requests I skipped over. I’m sorry it’s taking me so long!

You clutched at Winn’s shirt collar, desperately trying to pull him closer, as your lips moved in sync with each other’s. His hand rested on the wall behind you while his other hand caressed your face. It was cramped in the darkened closet, but it was the only place in the DEO where the two of you could have privacy. On top of that, you didn’t want anyone there knowing that you were dating, especially your boss J'onn. It was never explicitly stated anywhere that agents couldn’t date, but with a job where emotions could get in the way and potentially get someone hurt, or even killed, it was highly discouraged.

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You know what really tumbles my stones? When people act like they give a damn about your health to push their own shit agenda. Like, I take birth control consecutively without taking the sugar pills, and on the rare occasion that this comes up in conversation, people who usually don’t give a damn will be all “but it’s so unhealthy! That’s not safe!” You know what? My dysphoria and excruciating period pain also aren’t healthy! I know the risks of what I’m doing which I’ve already stated! So why don’t you mind your own business, buddy, and let me fuck up my body however I want!

Like I don’t mind when people I know for a fact love and care about me have these concerns- it’s the type that hate “”“unnatural”“” things and want everyone with a vagina to experience “”“womanhood”“” The same type that don’t give a damn how fat people feel and want everyone to be a skinny little prick like them because it’s “”“unhealthy”“” and say as much as soon as fat people try to feel good about themselves, love their bodies, boost fat positivity. Those type of people don’t give a damn about the people they lecture about health, they just want everything to be a certain way.

The language of the soul

OKAY GATHER ROUND LISTEN UP:

The language of the soul isn’t verbal.

Wait, say it with me:

The language of the soul is not verbal.

This is a highly important point because if you’re dealing with ANYTHING otherworldly, energy, spirits, deities, etc–you need to be aware verbal language largely gets in the way, because the nature of everything is, first, energetic, and secondly, often visual or metaphorical.

There are astral words that exist that compensate for this because upon saying the word it’s almost like an image is triggered in the hearing person, but when you’re stuck being a human, we don’t really have that ability.

Be aware that something trying to communicate with you, including your OWN soul, may not use words. Because words can’t capture what could be easily communicated visually.

I have the ability to open and look into heart & soul spaces, and when I do, I normally see a visual landscape. Mountains, rivers, a rough sea, a foggy rainforest, all of these things are not literal. The soul cries for help in different ways, and as a healer, I’ve learned to read those subtle ways. 

A forest may look fine, but the roots may be black–this can indicate dis-ease or deep seated issues. The temperature tells me something about the state of the mind. The weather tells me things, the state of decay, random events like fire–all of these visual metaphors are the soul trying to communicate the state of the person/entity, in a way it would be hard to do otherwise. You know how hard it is to describe feelings–that’s why a lot of entities resort to other methods of communication, and why when I open a heart space, it’s a series of small houses or an icy tundra, and not a list of what’s wrong.

Not everyone’s energy blocks look the same, feelings actually create different types/impressions of blocks and I would describe them to you but legitimately this is one of those times where you would have to be there next to me seeing it so I can point and go “YEAH MAN U SEE?” because there’s no way for me to begin lmao

Learn to read and appreciate feelings and the visual/telepathic language of entities! Many of us become focused on “hearing” entities, without understanding that before verbal, the language of a lot of things are visual. Often when I “speak” to entities it’s a combination of thinking/impressions of words, and pictures of landscapes or a hammer hitting a nail or like the most seemingly bizarre situations like trying to play charades with the entity lmao

But over time I have appreciated this ability, because more and more I notice myself becoming more proficient at reading it, and I can see how useful it is

It’s easier to send an image of a cozy fireplace and a nice furry rug with books to you than spend time going “you know that feeling you get when you’re like, warm and really safe, it’s winter but you’re inside and it’s just a nice moment where you’re alone by not lonely?” because the minute you use words, it is trying to describe something that, as close as we can get, is fundamentally just out of the reach of words, like it’s something that happens only to the receiver in direct experience

And believe it or not this tendency towards visual charades is a gift

If an entity knows you’re sad and having a hard time and sends you the FEELING or the image/impression of like, warm blankets and a nice mug of tea they’re actually gifting you a direct experience, because they can do that. It’s a lot more involved/targeting than telling you “it’s going to be okay”, you know? The gift of a direct impression is just so much more, it defies experience

This isn’t to say no entity ever prefers words, because certainly some of them fucking love it (cough kratos u victorian asshole COUGH COUGH) but just be open to the fact a large majority of them prefer more direct forms of communication & we should expect that, especially when dealing with energy stuff/soulstuff

A Dropped Call

Part of my Special Relationship AU (AO3)

April 29th – 8:15 pm EDT

The beginning riff of The Clash’s “London Calling” echoed through the room, and everyone froze mid-sentence. Steve, hands tangled in a half-tied bowtie, jumped away from the cell phone vibrating against his desk. He swore under his breath and gestured frantically at the still-ringing phone. The members of the National Security Council all shifted away, some more obviously than others, until White House Chief of Staff James Barnes was the closest to the desk.

He glared at Steve, who tried to shrug apologetically, but instead managed to cut off his air supply. He gasped and frantically tried to dislodge the small piece of fabric from around his neck.

Bucky rolled his eyes and snatched the phone off the desk. “President Rogers’ phone, this is his Chief of Staff speaking.”

Steve grimaced and, still coughing, yanked on the silk tie until it ripped, the pieces drifting to the floor. He took a deep, relieved breath, and motioned the rest of the NSC out of the Oval Office.

“Thanks, guys,” he whispered as Bucky pinched the bridge of his nose, phone held slightly away from his ear. “We’ll pick this up after the dinner. This call is just the first of many we’ll have to deal with over the coming days. I’d like a report on the source of the leak—this Miles Lydon kid—on my desk by 7:00 tomorrow morning, as well as a full analysis of media coverage and of the national security implications. See you all tomorrow.”

Once the room was clear, Steve squared his shoulders and reached for the phone. Bucky nodded and said, “Sorry to interrupt, ma’am, but Steve’s now available to talk to you.”

“Oh, now he’s ready to talk to me,” the woman on the other line shouted, and both men winced.

“Here he is.” Bucky shoved the phone into Steve’s hand hurriedly, uninterested in continuing to hear the lecture clearly meant for Steve.

“Hey Peggy.”

=====

Peggy was furious. She had been rudely woken early in the morning when the story broke, and her dark mood had only increased every hour, as she sat through meetings and strategy sessions full of equally angry and sleep-deprived politicians and staffers.

“How dare you,” she hissed into her phone, heels clicking as she paced around her now empty office.

His sigh rattled over the line, followed by the quiet click of a closing door and the shuffle of footsteps. “Listen, Peggy—”

“Spying on your own citizens? Your colleagues and friends? I can’t believe you would do something so stupid!”

“Now wait a minute—” Steve growled, an engine revving in the background.

“What were you thinking? How reckless and irresponsible and hypocritical—”

“Oh, please.” She couldn’t see him, but she could hear Steve rolling his eyes an ocean away. “First of all, don’t act like you’re surprised. We’re doing the exact same thing every other country in the world is doing, including you. Don’t get all high and mighty with me—we just happened to have our programs leaked to the press by a contractor. I inherited the program from my predecessor, as you well know, and no, it wasn’t perfect, but you would have done the exact same thing in my situation. And last time I checked, I’m the President of the United States, and I run my country as I see fit. I don’t report to you, thank you very much.”

Peggy picked up a pen from her desk and threw it at the wall. In her mind, the pen hit him between the eyes. “And monitoring my phone calls and personal correspondence? How do you justify that, Mister President?”

Fabric rustled against leather seats. “I didn’t—it was never—”

She scoffed. “Spare me your sad attempts at bullshit, Rogers. If you stop trying to spin this for a second, you’ll realize why I’d be so upset. Beyond the obvious breach of trust and invasive surveillance.”

The line was silent.

You call me on this phone, Steve. This—this could ruin everything. I could lose my job, my credibility, any shred of respect people have for me around the world. Do you have any idea—I am the second woman to be Prime Minister. Ever.  I could ruin the careers of all future female politicians with this scandal. You know I didn’t want to tell anyone, but now it could come out anyway. Because of a program you refused to dismantle!”

“Everything was classified—”

“Well, fat lot of good that does us, hmm? The existence of the surveillance programs was classified too, right?”

“They don’t record the calls.”

Peggy pinched the bridge of her nose, trying to relieve the pressure growing behind her eyes. She didn’t need a stress migraine on top of the current crisis. “But they do keep a record of the phone numbers and the duration of the conversations. How would it look if I spent two hours on the phone with a Washington, DC, number—one that belongs to the President—almost every night?”

On the other end of the call, she could hear the click of a door latch and the excited cheers of a crowd. There was a soft rustle of fabric—presumably Steve exiting the limo—and he sighed. “What do you want me to say, Peggy? What’s done is done, I can’t—”

There was a loud pop, almost like a car backfiring. Peggy heard Steve gasp, take a choking breath, and then there was a deafening crunch.

Peggy held her breath, trying to hear something, anything, on the other end, but it was silent.

“Steve?” Peggy heard her voice break, but she couldn’t stop. “Steve? Steve!”   

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“i actually kissed you” ;o

based on this specific event (ahem - https://youtu.be/YbVXiiORnVo?t=3m57s) - sorry if it’s…a little sad and dramatic? it’s the vibe i got, with the way josh moved away when ty tried to kiss him, and ty made these connections (love=fear, heartbreak=josh) so i just ran with it. did anyone else get these impressions? Anyway…here’s a story with a flashback of them acting like total frat boys 

—————————————————

“dude, what do you think our fans would do if they knew we actually like..made out once?” tyler asked josh, winking playfully at him. 

“we did?” josh asked, brows raised slightly and biting his lip. 

these conversations hardly came up between the two, but they were usually brought up by moments like these. they were both heavily attracted to one another from the start, but held back because of upbringings and family pressures. tyler’s family expected him to hit certain milestones by certain ages, so when he found a girl and got married, josh’s heart was broken and all explorations stopped. they remained best friends, obviously, and josh learned to love jenna for completing his friend, plus she was super nice, so he respected her relationship’s boundaries by closing himself off to all advances from tyler. he suppressed all memories with him of that nature, and moved on to dating girls and living the lifestyle of a single guy. 

tyler understood josh’s reasoning, but was a bit hurt because jenna said she didn’t mind sharing if that made him happy. josh didn’t feel right taking advantage of jenna’s selflessness. it would be different if he and jenna also liked each other in “that way” and tyler shared, completing the triangle, but they didn’t. besides, it was hard enough being in love with his best friend/band mate who was literally written on his body permanently. tyler would never admit it, but he was secretly jealous about josh dating other people, which was silly considering he had a wife. he idealized one day josh having a wife that jenna would fall in love with, then it’d be fair if tyler and josh had that kind of relationship and no one would be the 3rd wheel. jenna showed no signs of bisexuality, but honestly tyler didn’t consider himself bi until josh. 

“you had a bit too much to drink, it’s probably why you don’t remember.” tyler said. josh then had a flashback to what he was referring to. it was in those days where they were just starting out, touring in a van. those were particularly hard days for tyler. but thinking back, those were they best days ever for josh. he truly got to be there for tyler, and tyler clung to him like a lifeline. it was the first time josh felt so needed and got to be part of someone’s dream. 

*************** flashback******************

josh’s groin stirred at the memory tyler was referring to, bringing back the alcohol lust fueled make out from that night. they were a couple years over the legal drinking age, but both being brainwashed and watched harshly by parents, were late bloomers. so after doing a show, tyler had a tough time winding down. they sometimes got fast food, and sometimes stopped by gas stations to pick up “dinner” (cookies, chips, chocolate milk, redbull, etc). josh, being the slightly more rebellious one, decided it’d be fun to surprise tyler with something different. tyler already grabbed his essentials and ran out to the van where it was parked and mark was filling it up. josh went to the checkout with his stuff, and grabbed a 12 pack of beer. he proudly showed his i.d. and waltzed out of the store with a huge grin. 

“we’re gonna have fun tonight, ty!” josh sang.

“whaddya mean?” ty asked, pouting slightly. josh grabbed ty’s hand and handed him the 12 pack of beer, which was too heavy. ty promptly had to set it down, cackling like an idiot. 

“JOSH. NO. BAD.” ty scolded jokingly. mark just shook his head, totally expecting this from josh, but not expecting tyler to actually drink the stuff. they loaded up, and tyler and josh sat in back while mark drove, blaring crappy hip hop music while drinking one after another. they didn’t care it was illegal to have open containers of alcohol, as long as they didn’t get caught. it got boring driving cross state and sleeping in walmart parking lots. 

“oh shit i love this song” tyler blurted, feeling very loose and kind of funny. he moved his hips a certain way that when josh noticed, he shoved tyler, laughing.

“you’re so weird, oh my god, tyler” josh said. but he started doing the same thing though, rocking his hips in a dirty way to the music. tyler felt flushed all over, and rolled over on top of josh straddling his hips. he was still laughing, goofy acting from the alcohol. josh was the same way, a little voice in the back of his mind telling him it wasn’t a good idea, but ignored it in favor of having no inhibitions whatsoever. it all felt so natural. he relaxed and let tyler grind against the front of his jeans, blaring music covering the sound of their moans and heavy breathing. mark continued driving them down the highway, blissfully ignorant to his gay acting friends in the back. tyler wasn’t laughing anymore, his mouth was open and eyes closed as he worked his hips languidly to the rhythm. josh would’ve laughed and made a joke about him drooling if it weren’t so hot, and he weren’t literally making him harder than a rock. tyler felt and massaged josh’s pecs as if he were touching a girl, and josh bucked his hips up, causing tyler’s uncoordinated muscles to give in and he fell forward. josh grabbed his hips, stabilizing him and rutting desperately for more friction. tyler kissed josh’s neck feverishly, rooting for his lips and running his tongue over his mouth. josh squeezed his hips as tyler continued kissing him aggressively while rubbing their cocks together hard. josh squeezed tyler’s ass, pulling him hard against him as he released his seed, making a huge mess in the front of his briefs. tyler felt a wetness and went fast a few times until he let go as well, then collapsed on top of josh. josh was breathless and tyler was a giggling, tearful mess. 

josh continued holding him close, running his hands up and down tyler’s back soothingly, until it felt like tyler was breathing kind of erratically. almost as if he were hyperventilating or hiccuping or something. josh felt a wetness on his collar, then realized that tyler was crying. josh tapped tyler’s shoulder and lifted his face up to look into those wet, doe brown puddles. 

“what’s wrong?” josh asked. tyler wasn’t sure himself, but he felt so happy. like a huge weight had been lifted from him. tyler just shook his head, smiling, and kissed josh on the lips. 

“thank you” tyler simply said, and josh smiled back, nodding in amazement. from then on, they had a bond that no one could get between and trusted each other with their lives. that raw moment was just symbolic of that connection. 

*************end flashback************

“no, i actually think i remember what you’re talking about now. man, jenna’s a lucky woman” josh responded. 

you tcc freaks are crusty white girls who don’t appreciate most of what you have and instead make cringey memes and posts about being obsessed with people who brutally murdered innocent people. you try to defend yourselves by saying “i don’t condone” or “i don’t idolize them” but you fucking do when you’re literally having them as headers or profile pics or creating memes/edits and feeling for them.

and when someone legitimately calls you out on your shit you back it up with “oh leave us alone and mind your own business” imagine if the pedophile community said the same thing? i know they’re not on the same level but you all deserve to be shamed for idolizing murderers because it’s not an innocent thing, you’re actively neglecting those effected by those murders. you’re actively ignoring those who will get triggered by it.

my school gets legitimate bomb threats where actual bomb squads and state police have to come in and shut everything down and that’s not even half of what happens to my school, and it’s not “fun” no one should be hoping for it except you guys i guess.

anonymous asked:

Hey, this is kinda personal but I have depression and some other shit and I don't know how to motivate myself or push myself. I was wondering if u would be able to share how u got out of depression into drawing, or kept drawing even though you were depressed. I'm really struggling and it makes me feel guilty and I admire your attitude so I wanted to ask because I wanna get better

First and foremost: I am not a mental health expert/clinical psychologist/what have you. What you’re about to read is all based on personal experience with depression and several forms of treatment. You are way better off asking an actual expert about these things. 

That said, it becomes pretty obvious there’s not an easy answer to that. What works for some people to dig themselves out of depression might not work for other ones because depression can come from many different places.
I’d firstly recommend you to do the basic stuff: check out your diet, are you doing any exercise, are you getting enough sunlight, have you been sleeping well, those sorts of basic physical needs. If you’re not sure whether or not you’re eating well you can get yourself checked for nutritional deficiencies. 

I don’t know you financial situation but if it’s within your budget you could also try psychotherapy, though that one usually serves to complement other measures you’re taking. If you can afford it try different ones and see which one you feel more comfortable with.

My opinion on medication is: absolute last resort. I took medication back in the day and it was only like a less oppressive numb than the numb depression causes. But again, this is all from my personal experience so take it with a grain of salt. Maybe for you medication is just what you need, hopefully not. Be very, very careful with meds if you end up taking this route. Make sure your doctor isn’t just trying to sell you pills instead of dealing with your problem. And listen carefully to all of the instructions, check the side-effects, etc. Meds can fuck you up.

As of how I dug myself out from the severe depression bout I was in during my mid-20′s, I abandoned everything and became a construction worker in the outskirts of my home city. I worked 12 hour shifts helping build big ass industrial furnaces for Pemex. It was a grueling, thankless job. I basically went to work, came back and slept, then repeated. For 6 months. Somewhere along the line I realized I had forgotten to take my medication for a month, but I didn’t feel depressed. I actually felt pretty good for someone doing nothing but manual labor all day long. I got to connect with my co-workers, people with whom I’d otherwise would have never come in contact with, got to experience a little bit of that camaraderie, learned about hard work, and most importantly, it reminded me that I needed physical challenges. I had to get back to training. After the project was finished and we all got our checks I actually realized I wanted to make comics and illustration for a living, as well. Am I saying you need to undergo some kind of self-discovery type deal where you go become a fisherman in a Third World country or some shit? Not at all. I didn’t intend to “cure my depression” when I decided to become a construction worker. I just got offered the job and I took it ‘cause I was a moron who thought had nothing more to lose. It just happened to be the thing that worked for me. 

Here’s another harsh truth: Sometimes you will get depressed and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. Nothing. Fuck-all. All you can do is ride it out. And that’s what it boils down to many times, at least for me. Sure I don’t get as crushingly depressed as I used to, but I still get bouts of depression, and sometimes all I can do is just power through them. You’ll work at half-efficiency. Do it anyway. You won’t be able to focus as much. Do it anyway. You’ll feel it’s all hopeless and you’re not and will never be good enough. Well, you can turn that last one into a good thing, if you see that as a never-ending struggle. A never-ending path of learning. Not good enough? Good. Means you still have new heights of skill to conquer. 

And the most important thing: DO NOT BEAT YOURSELF UP ABOUT IT. This is crucial. This is also a trick of depression. Making you feel guilty for not accomplishing your goals thus repeating the loop. This is depression’s strongest play and it will use it every time to keep you right down where it wants. You need to develop self-awareness, a lot of it. This would seem like a no-brainer, but you’d be surprised at the sheer quantity of people outside who lack self-awareness. In my experience depression sort of weakness our sense of self and in doing so breeds apathy and lethargy in us. Having a strong sense of self has helped me realize “oh shit, I’m depressed, I need to work around it.” When you’re able to fully realize you are in a depressed state of mind it makes it easier to just work through it. Again, don’t expect the same results as if you were okay. You won’t get them. And you must not blame yourself for it. It’s just how it is and tomorrow’s another day and you’ll try again. Feeling guilty makes things much worse, so avoid it. 

And I think that’s all I have to say on the matter. I hope it helps.

PS. If some edgelord tells you depressive mindsets are actually “the real way to look at the world” tell them to go get fucked by a goblin shark. Useless motherfuckers. 

Oh, Clarke.

You know what’s particularly jarring about her recent actions ? It’s that at no point we’re allowed to really see what she feels about what she’s doing. In episode 9 Clarke was never given the time to consider what becoming Commander would mean or why she was doing it : was it really about saving everyone ? about wanting power and control ? about Lexa ? was it about hopelessness ? We were completely cut off from her thoughts. The same thing happened in last episode, for the sake of a last minute plot twist. What happened between “I want to save Humanity” and straight up betraying the grounders ?

And this is something that’s made me really anxious about Clarke this season, it’s that she does all these things but we get so little of her actual state of mind. It reminds me a little of Bellamy spiralling last season : you could understand logically his actions and his point of view but at the same time it was hard to connect with him because he was never really given a voice during his dark no good phase, and we were just frustrated with him and were waiting for him to get his shit together.

Clarke this season has been … quiet. In an unnerving way often. She doesn’t really get to express what she’s feeling and I sometimes struggle with her arc because I can’t quite figure out her headspace. She had a small breakdown with Abby in the premiere, and another with Bellamy during the list scene (and when he was asleep so I don’t think she meant for him to see that), but other than that, she just … sort of lets things happen and takes what the other characters throw at her without fighting back or reaching out emotionally.

People vent to her, or yell at her, usually for good reasons (Roan, Emori, Murphy, Raven, Monty, Jasper, … actually basically everyone) and she doesn’t defend herself because she knows she can’t. She’s been in emotional scenes but most of the time it was people talking AT her and it didn’t feel like she connected. Most of her scenes with Bellamy this season were business-like or her comforting him about his rocky relationship with his sister. Some people tried to support her in some ways, Roan about her being born to become a leader, and Niylah when she talked about Lexa and her legacy living through her, but Clarke felt distant in both scenes, she dismissed Roan and completely changed the subject with Niylah.

Truth is, I don’t know what’s happening in that pretty, cunning, ruthless, damaged head of hers because most of her interactions with other characters actually tell us nothing or very little about her headspace. And it’s so frustrating because it feels like she’s on autopilot, like she’s bottling things up inside and I just need her to snap, to have an emotional break down, to really talk to someone, ANYTHING because I’m starting to worry she’s losing herself. 

Hopefully that bit we see in the trailer for next episode, where she points her gun at Bellamy trembling, means that we will finally see her lose her shit and explode. She needs it. I, as a viewer and a Clarke fan, need it.

professorbaecker  asked:

About your post, I don't think you are blind at all. It is just that, from a person's perspective with a specific ship, almost anything is a big deal plus at least this confirms that Touka has some feelings for Kaneki. I do not believe she loves him tho. As Kaneki realized, the offering was just to try to take off his mind from dying. Ishida did a very good job at masking the depressive side in this conversation.

Yeah I understand, and I want to try to look at it from an objective viewpoint so here’s mostly what I’m thinking about this whole situation (trying to be objective here but there will probably be some inevitable bias.)

It’s pretty clear at this point that Touka has feelings for Kaneki and I’m not disputing that, however, I don’t think those same feelings are coming from his side. He’s clearly lonely and depressed and the last thing on his mind is getting into a relationship; it would be too much for him to handle on top of everything else apart from anything, and with the mental and emotional state he’s in, I can see it being damaging to Touka as well (Touka would be the one doing all of the giving and not getting very much in return because Kaneki is too preoccupied with himself and what he wants.)

Kaneki’s back in :re with most of the people he cared for and is trying to protect, but like he told Akira just last chapter, he still feels lonely. There’s something in him that has to be fixed which I don’t think can be done through something as simple as any sort of relationship right now.

It’s like someone else said; he was pretty much just being polite to her (what else would you expect from Kaneki?) and it didn’t seem to me like he had much interest in pursuing anything with her. Though I believe the conversation this chapter between the two of them did bring them closer together and probably helped them form a better understanding of eachother, I still think Kaneki just views her as someone very important to him, just not in a romantic sense.

I really hope that Touka becomes a little more aware of what he’s really coping with though because, honestly, this is one major major reason I don’t like this ship and think it would be unhealthy; out of all the people Kaneki cares for now, I’m pretty sure Touka is the one who has hit him the most. As a survivor of abuse from those closest to him, his perception of what a healthy relationship is like must be distorted because of the way he was treated by his parental figures. He believed that his mother loved him and he loved her too but she beat him and perhaps he subconsciously (or consciously?) just assumes that’s just part of being loved. If he gets into a relationship with Touka, I feel like that only reinforces his belief that being hurt by the people you love is normal, and maybe even an expression of affection. Needless to say, that’s incredibly unhealthy and damaging, especially to someone with his mental and emotional state.

Though I realistically would much rather see Kaneki and Touka stay very close friends rather than lovers (mostly because I think their relationship would hold so much more value this way), if Ishida does decide to get them together in the future, I think they both still need to undergo some drastic development. As the relationship stands now, it would be unhealthy for them both, especially with how one sided Touka’s attention to him is, and I would much prefer that they come to understand eachother and love and value eachother as very close friends, partly for Touka’s sake as well since I think her character has really been devolving since this whole thing started.

If anyone has anything to add, please do; I’d love to have a discussion about this.

anonymous asked:

I haven't seen this addressed a whole lot, so I though I would ask my favorite blogger! I was wondering what you think of Dean and alcohol. Do you see him as an alcoholic?

Hi! Thank you so much!

Well, let me *ahem* try to keep this concise. If anyone else wants to add, please do, I’m sure there are so many excellent past meta posts about Dean x alcohol!

I think Dean has many issues, most of course stemming from his upbringing. Main ones being toxic masculinity, being Sam’s parent, a repressed and pretty aggressive childhood and the associated coping mechanisms.

Alcoholism is a coping mechanism, same as sex, fast food and general sublimation. Dean and sex is generally a way for him to have closeness with someone more than the actual sex, it’s a comfort. I mean of course he likes sex, but the comfort thing is a big factor, especially when you look at the reasons WHY he has sex every single time… There is a recurring theme of repression of his feelings and emotional turmoil every single time he has sex in the show. Sex is generally seen as a bad sign for Dean’s mental health. I mean even just his go to reaction knowing it might be his last night on earth is to have sex… he’s said it more than once, so… yeah.

Why sex? Because it dulls the emotions, it takes your mind off things while it lasts, in the same way that alcohol does.

So, the alcohol. For me it is a learned coping mechanism from John, as he has stated before, was a drunk and also a “shell” of himself, so not perhaps the best role model… but it was all Dean had apart from Bobby a little later, who was also a drunk.

We do see Dean sink into a kind of alcoholism, particularly during season 7 for example. Most of the time his drinking is associated with “darkness” and bad moments, similarly to sex, with of course Demon!Dean being the most obvious alcohol and sex wise:

Originally posted by deans-isengard

Then of course the pretty textually alcoholic first half of season 7 but also of course we see a lot of Dean drinking in season 3 in the period before he goes to Hell and in season 4 after he comes back and is not coping well with the memories of it and the associated self hatred.

However since season 11 especially for me, he has mostly replaced alcohol with coffee, though of course some very emotional moments will still have him reaching for the bottle, for example drinking in 11x23 when he thinks the world is ending, like when he lost Mary and Cas in season 12. In 12x19 for example there is an empty bottle of whiskey on his desk, but we don’t see him actually drinking it or going deep into alcoholism as we may have done in the past.

So, I don’t actually see Dean as an alcoholic or even really as a recovering alcoholic, but more that he uses alcohol as a coping mechanism on occasion and sometimes he verges very closely on being an alcoholic, but given that he seems to give it up with relative ease each time, I wouldn’t myself class him as an actual alcoholic, but that is just my opinion and I don’t really have any authority at all on this subject having never been there myself. 

Also of course alcohol is sometimes often associated with good things in the show too, with a familial feel. 

Generally I see whiskey as the “bad” omen, often associated with their emotional distress and beer as a relatively “good” omen, often associated with family.

Sam never really had such the same issue, but I do still see the liquor/beer divide with him too.

Even Cas is part of the family with this now, well, he did learn from the best.

He gets drunk on liquor when his faith in his Father is shaken and asks the boys “how do you manage it?”

Originally posted by thefanaticallife

He is shown to be a part of the family with beer:

Originally posted by weallneedcastiel

Season 13 and Cas and Mary’s loss will be an interesting one to see how he copes now that his previous repression and sublimation seems to have been addressed in 12x12 and we now should see him actually coping rather than using these coping mechanisms as he has in the past… 

I’m also very interested to see how the sex part goes as after 12x11′s “its like it never happened” and 12x18′s pretty blatant “this isn’t actually what he was looking for, he was settling” subtext, the next step should be for me that he actually rejects or doesn’t take an open opportunity given to him.

Let’s see! 

Tea and Crumpet

Title: Tea and Crumpet, one shot

Genre/Rating: Angst/Fluff, T for mild shenanigans and innuendo

Summary: OFC and Tom come to a crossroads and must make a decision about their future.  

Author’s Notes: Just a little nothing based on something I have been thinking about. Happy 2017!  I hope we are all brave this year and can do whatever is necessary to form healthy relationships.  Thanks for reading. <3

—————————-

“I’m sorry, darling. I’m so dreadfully sorry.”

I sighed and placed the milk on the shelf, shutting the refrigerator door and turning around to look at him.

It was the truth.  I couldn’t deny that.  

I couldn’t deny the sincere regret that was clouding his face and weighing him down like a yoke on a beast of burden.  I couldn’t deny the sincere regret that was filling his voice and pouring from every word.  He was so handsome sitting at the kitchen table, the shade of the sweater I had given him for Christmas making his eyes appear so blue.

Keep reading

You Are Not Alone

Some people might ask, “Why are you addressing the topic of depression on a porn blog?” The answer is a simple one. To soothe the pangs of loneliness and depression, sexual stimulation either virtual or in real-life is one of the most often used coping mechanisms to fight the pain, and this is something I know first hand. This post is not going to address whether or not this method of alleviating the confusion depression causes is healthy; that is irrelevant. What matters is there are people who are going to read this article who feel helpless and alone, as I have, and sometimes still do.

Community is one of the fundamental bedrocks of the human experience. We as a species can only survive through interaction with other people. It is imperative that to maintain our emotional and cognitive equilibrium we get out into the world and have social contact. This does not even mean directly engaging with other people. It can be as simple as going to a cafe where others are present, reading a book or surfing the web on your laptop, and taking in the presence of those who surround you. In this way we feel a sense of belonging with the societey, and it can help us realize that we are not alone. And if, perhaps, you reach out to someone to strike up a conversation? Even better. Getting out from the four corners of our room and going into our communities is one of the best ways to tame the beast of despair, because so often when we feel alone, our impulse is to be alone, which creates a vicious cycle of sadness that simply will not stop.

If you’re similar to me and have a mental illness (I’m bipolar 1) proper medication management and maintaining a routine is imperative. Too often - especially those of us involved in Tumblr and similar places - we get absorbed into the mindless scroll of images, games, and articles, completely eradicating structure from our existence. If you feel like you might have some kind of mental illness, such as clinical depression, reaching out to the medical community to take advantage of pharmaceuticals, psychologists, and psychiatrists should not be something that evokes a sense of fear, or the thought “I’m broken and can’t be fixed.” For one, you’re not broken, you just need a little bit of extra TLC other people might not, and that’s okay. If you have supportive family members and you feel suicidal, letting them know what you’re going through is so important. And if, like so many people in the LGBTQ community, you don’t have the support of your relatives, then making your friends aware of your situation is of the utmost importance.

But what if you don’t have friends? That’s a reality for people too, and I’ve been in a place before where I was completely devoid of a social network. Recourse to online communities where people share your interests can be just as fulfilling as real life friendships. One of my best friends is a beautiful young woman who I met online through a game we both played when I was fifteen, and that was nearly twelve years ago. And in more recent times I’ve made some wonderful friends in other communities as well; and as for Tumblr, I’ve made friends here, too, such as @ukstudentalpha, and he’s become closer to me than many of the real life acquaintances I’ve had for years. Understand that you don’t have to live without companionship if you don’t want to. No matter how awkward you might be, or how difficult social skills might be for you, there are always people out there who would kill for the chance to be your friend. 

Lastly, if you’re reading this right now and feel suicidal, please know that no matter who you are, this world would be so much worse without you in it. Those are not empty words. I don’t want to get into the subject of theology and metaphysics here because that’s not why people follow me, but I can’t help stating that I believe within all of us is a divine and immortal soul that drives our consciousness. Depriving this world of your spirit, and the energy you put out into the universe through the simple act of living and breathing, is wasting the gift of life that you’ve been given either through nature or the divine, depending on your particular belief or lack thereof. And even if you identify as a pure atheist, understand that your consciousness, the brain inside your body shooting off chemicals and evoking thoughts, is so supremely important. The fact that you are a thinking, conscious being, is such an incredible miracle even from a strictly biological perspective.

What also needs to be mentioned is checking yourself into a psychiatric hospital is not a defeat; instead it is a beautiful surrender to the process of recovery that is also a victory toward acquiring a healthy life. Sometimes it is necessary to let others help us fight our battles, and in cases where people are having suicidal thoughts those who would help might need to be professionals. I’ve been hospitalized around thirteen times for depression, anxiety, and psychosis, and I’ve made some truly wonderful friends in these places. You would be so surprised at how joyous it can feel to be surrounded by people going through the exact same things you are, in a safe and supportive environment filled with people who want to help you. I will say that navigating the waters of psychiatric institutions to choose which one will be the best fit is extremely confusing, and if anyone who reads this feels like they are in a dark enough state of mind that hospitalization might be necessary, please feel free to contact me and I will do all I can to help you find the right place to go get help. 

I’m going to leave you with two things. The first is the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, and the second is a poem I wrote for a man who impacted me in a deep way. He overdosed on nitrous oxide, I think it was, while he was in an extraordinarily deep depression; it wasn’t a clear cut suicide, but pretty much as good as. His name was Daniel, and as an amateur theologian, I wrote this poem using the metaphor of the biblical story about the prophet Daniel while he was in the den of lions. This is called “Daniel and the Lion’s Den”

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

“Daniel and the Lion’s Den”

Thrown into a den of lions,
With gnashing teeth and snarling maw,
Daniel faced a herculean challenge; 
I’ll tell you exactly what he saw.

Among cold stone and thorny brambles,
Four unique beasts stared Daniel down -
Veritable titans with blood-curdling strength,
A predicament not easily turned around.

The Lion of Sorrow with matted-mane,
Eyes weeping tears glistening and hot;
Watching Daniel from a deep, dark corner
Murmuring to him, “Just do it, why not?”

The Lion of Rage with fiery, wild hues,
Leaping and lunging toward Daniel’s form,
Sharpened claws scratching his flesh;
Indicating an oncoming self-inflicted storm.

The Lion of Fear with a bare-boned body,
Cowering in subjection, knowing naught but defeat,
Staring at Daniel with a vacant expression,
As if communicating, “Give in, we’re beat.”

But then, there too, a Savior was present,
The Lion of Hope - tall, regal, and strong.
Looking at Daniel with eyes of compassion, 
Saying to him, “Fuck the others, be strong!”

Daniel found himself at a terrible crossroads,
To whom should he listen, and whom should he shun?
Torn between a quadrant of epic proportions,
Daniel made a decision - he was going to run.

Many would mourn him - a kind, gentle man. 
Filled with compassion and vibrant light,
But the Lions were both fearsome and mighty;
It was just far too much to keep up the fight.

The Lions of Fear, Sorrow, and Rage
Can no longer torment Daniel’s vast, eternal soul,
But, The Lion of Hope follows him toward the Heavens,
Fulfilling a guiding and comforting role.

This magnificent animal protects Daniel’s journey,
Toward worlds and realms with sublime beauty unknown.
Where in ecstasy and bliss his new life will be spent,
Never knowing a single moment afraid or alone.

~M.

2

LOSING MY MIND (Theo Raeken imagine)

words: 1 106

A/N: wow, this got very long very quickly. i got inspired by Charlie Puth’s “Losing My Mind” and started writing. hope you enjoy, feedback is always appreciated ! :) gif credits to the owners xx (is anyone else like maybe too enthusiastically waiting for theo to appear in season 6 ??)

warnings: mentions of blood, sad theo, one curse word (not proof read this was so long i had no motivation to read it again)

masterlist

••••••••••

so much to do do and not enough time
not enough time, oh I got
so much to lose, I’m losing my mind

I’m sorry I’m not there to give you what you want
I’ll think about us some other time
and I’m sorry that I can’t be the perfect type of man
I’ll think about us some other time

One second you were blocking the creature’s blows with the baseball bat loaned from Stiles. Then, out of nowhere, you could feel a sharp pain on your side. Touching the wound, you collapsed backwards, ending up leaning on a thick concrete post, clutching your side. As you were trying to stay conscious, you could see Theo turning to you, screaming your name.

When Theo saw you collapsing from the other side of the room, a wave of anger gave him just the advance he needed to knock out his enemy. Seeing Scott and the rest of the pack fighting, he rushed to you, thinking they could handle them without him.

Crouching down beside you, he took off his jacket, pressing it tightly on your wound. “You’re gonna be okay, Y/N. You’re gonna be okay,” he said hurriedly, trying to reassure you - or, mostly himself. He couldn’t lose you; you were his everything, the one good thing in his life. How he had allowed this to happen ? He should’ve been protecting you ! Too much to do, too much to fight in so many war fronts, at the same time trying to keep you safe, trying to keep you out of it all.

Still being able to stay awake, you could see the mixture of worry and anger on Theo’s face and knew that he was blaming himself - beating himself in his mind till he lost all his self-confidence. Lifting your now bloody hand on his cheek, you stroked the light stubble with your thumb.

“Theo, it’s not your fault. Stop blaming yourself,” you said weakly, already losing a great amount of blood. “I’ll be okay, don’t worry. You won’t get rid of me that easily,” you said, trying to light up the mood and smiled weakly.

“You’ll be okay, babygirl, I know. You’re so strong, stronger than I’ll ever be.” Theo was able to smile back at you, placing his hand on top of yours on his cheek, still pressing his jacket against your wound with his other one. “Hate to break the moment, but we have to get you to the hospital,” Theo said, looking behind his back. Seeing the pack handle the rest of the creatures, Scott made his way towards you two.

Theo sprung into action, picking you up gently. He quickly told Scott you had to be taken to the hospital and started to make his way to his truck. Making your position as comfortable as possible on the passenger’s side, he rounded the car, got in and drove to the hospital, the rest of the pack following behind him.

※ ※ ※ ※

Laying on the hospital bed, hooked on the IV, you could feel the light aching on your left side. According to Melissa, you hadn’t lost too much blood, and the weapon had barely avoided any vital organs. Melissa had fussed around and forced everyone, including Theo, out of your room to let you sleep for a few hours.

Now that you were awake, you missed company. As if on cue, you heard the door open and saw Theo emerge from the hallway.

“Hey,” you smiled at him, feeling a much better after sleeping.

“Hi,” he whispered, sitting on the chair beside your bed. He took your colder hand in his warm, bigger one, holding onto it like his life depended on it. You could see the sadness in his eyes and maybe hints of crying in them, too.
Confused, you asked him, “What’s wrong ?”

In silence, Theo casted his eyes down, trying to hold the tears that were threatening to escape his eyes once again.

“I’m just … I almost lost you, Y/N. Again,” he said quietly. It was becoming harder and harder not to cry - which he hated doing, especially in front of you. He was supposed to be this strong alpha, but apparently had failed to be strong and a proper alpha. Kissing your hand, he continued, “I-I can’t lose you. I really can’t. You’re my whole life, and that means you’re all that I got. And that means I have so much to lose, which is making me lose my mind. I can’t help thinking, how I would survive without you. But the same time, how could you ever love me ? I’m not perfect for you, I’m not always there to give you what you want, and I sometimes put things before you, which I shouldn’t ever do and-“ he was cut by the need of oxygen. He was now silently crying, taking in deep, slow breaths.

You hated to see him in this state. You understood he had so much pressure on him for being the alpha, but you wouldn’t ever imagine not loving him - although he wasn’t perfect, but for you, he was enough. Getting into a sitting position, you put your free hand on his cheek reassuringly. “Hey, hey … you’re not losing me. Not now, not ever, as long as I’m concerned. I love you, and you’re enough for me just the way you are - don’t you ever dare to think otherwise. You don’t ever have to doubt my love for you, Theo Raeken.”

Theo lifted his head, looking into your eyes. Trying to find any hint of doubt in them, but found none. In a loss of words, he lifted himself from the chair enough to kiss you. Passionately pressing his lips to yours, you could feel all of it - the desperation, the need, the love. Caressing your cheek, Theo kept deepening the kiss, until he had to break it to catch his breath.

“I would say that I don’t deserve you,” he said, but before you could cut him off by denying it, he continued, “but I won’t, because it would lead into another argument. So, I’m just gonna say, I love you so fucking much, Y/N Y/L/N,” he finished, connecting your lips into another deep, passionate kiss, which got heated very quickly.

Breaking from the kiss, you placed your both hans to his cheeks. “I love you too. And now, could you get me out of here ? I want to go home and sleep for years. With you cuddling up beside me, of course,” you smiled. Smiling, he pecked you once more.

“Yeah, anything for you, princess. I will go and seduce Melissa with my charms to give you a permission to leave,” he said and went for the door.
Before he could exit the room, you said with your eyebrows raised, “I would prefer if you didn’t literally seduce her - because ugh, she’s Scott’s mother, after all.”

Sending his signature smirk to you, he left the room.

X-Men The Movie

For the none of you who wanted to see me liveblog another movie, here I am again! This time I’m sitting down and watching the first X-Men movie. I’ve seen the whole movie in bits and pieces before, but never in one sitting, so this should be fun. Plus I actually know about the X-Men comics now, yay!

- Good opening; actually a very well done brief intro to the character of Erik

- Poor Rogue. Her power sucks.

- This movie is better than I remember? They do a great job introducing everything and showing both how mutants and the public feel. Especially considering how early of a superhero movie this is.

- THE SCENE BETWEEN ERIK AND CHARLES IS UNDILUTED AWESOME. YOUNG(ER) SIRS PATRICK AND IAN YOUR ACTING MAKES ME WEEP RAINBOWS

- And here comes the beefcake. Young(er) Hugh Jackman, I forgot just how lip-bitingly sexy you were

- I also forgot how stupid that comic book hairstyle looks in real life

- Rogue is surprisingly relatable for an audience surrogate character despite being a bit bland

- As if I ever thought Wolvie was just going to abandon her. He’s got too much of the Gruff Dad Hero genes to ever do such a thing.

- Awwww Rogue and Wolverine are bonding

- Heck yeah, Storm in her natural state: awesomeness. And Scott, your outfit makes you look like a fucking DORK. Which I guess is an appropriate look for you.

- “The fuck are these dumbass dorky suits?” thinks Wolvie. Same, Wolvie. Same.

- Kitty! Jubilee! Pyro! Bobby! All the cameos!

- Charles stop being creepy and invading others’ minds without permission. Oh wait, you can’t. Otherwise you wouldn’t be Professor X.

- “Send Mutants to the moon!” Says a protest sign. “Lol,” says I, knowledgeable of a earlier X-Men plotline where mutants did try to live on moon (or at least a rock in space, idk exactly)

- Damn but that 2000-era Mystique CGI ain’t half bad

- Well then. This is an all around unpleasant situation. Good thing the girl Wolverine stabbed happens to have power sucking powers.

- I love all the beautiful yet unnecessary special effects of Magneto using powers for every single little thing in every scene he inhabits

- Cyclops, I cannot get over how dumb you look, and I love it

- Damn, Rogue. Your powers really suck.

- Scott, I’m sorry, your powers also suck. Ororo, however, your powers are THE BOMB.

- Wolvie, dude, you fucked. Magneto gonna kill your ass.

- Logan’s wearing jeans with a jean jacket, aka a Canadian tuxedo. Truly, he is a paragon of Canadianess.

- Sploosh goes the bigot

- “Yellow spandex” yes please make all the references

- I will never grow weary of Wolverine snark especially when it is in response to Cyclops I don’t care how dumb it is

- YOU HAVE ANGERED THE GODDESS OF STORMS

- …who then had to ruin her own awesome victory with one of the worst lines ever uttered

- “It’s me.” “Prove it.” “You’re a dick.” is probably the best exchange in this entire film

- Wolverine is the bad ass-ist

- Awwww Logan you’re such a softy, offering up your healing power so Rogue can live

- Oh good no one is dead how cliche


So overall I actually thoroughly enjoyed this movie. Whatever anyone may say, it did well considering it was the first modern superhero movie. They managed to cram a lot of movie into a relatively short time. And most of the casting was superb. I can’t think of anything else funny to say, I enjoyed it too much. So I’ll sign off, and see you next time I decide to have a glass of wine while watching a movie.