i do really like it and i wanted to include sleeping beauty somewhere

Made of skin and bones

Originally posted by anne-the-nerd

(not my gifs!)

Pairing: Alpha!Bucky x Omega!Reader

Warnings: Language, A/B/O dynamics, some nudism?

Summary: Due to the premature death of the King of your clan, his son, the alpha James Barnes, must assume his destiny and lead his people. As the tradition commands, he must choose some worthy omegas to make their his wives and with which he will ensure the subsistence of your clan. All the omega women are obliged to appear before their king, including you. Luckily for you, you would never be chosen… right?

Tags: at the end

A/N: I’m really sorry for the delay but sometimes life happens and I didn’t had so much time thos past days, hoppefully I’ll update sooner the next chapter. Thank you so much everyone! :)


1.Wolves   2.Chess

3. Holy water

Your steps and Steve’s are the only sound breaking the solemn silence of the royal hall. He has tried to stablish a cordial conversation with you but you are just focused on his previous words.

“We have to prepare you for your wedding”

Well, damn, you had totally forgotten about your part of the deal. You are about to get married, and with a stranger. 

- Are you okay? - Steve asks you softly

- Yes… - he doesn’t believe it, you neither

Before he can keep persuading you a tall young woman crosses paths with you and Steve, her eyes blown open when she looks at you

- Sila, what a happy coincidence - Steve greets her

- Sir - with a serene smile she bows at him

- We were searching for you

- Hi - you salute the, now you can sense, omega

- Hello - she then looks at you, and you feel like she knows you from somewhere else, and she doesn’t like you

- Well, Sila, this is Y/N, Y/N, Sila - Steve introduces you - She will be the one who will help you with the wedding arrangemetns and to understand the traditions

- Oh thank you - you breathe relieved knowing that you will be acompanied by a woman in those times of  unrest, and even better if she is an omega

- Sure, Sir - she nods at Steve - Please follow me 

Without even looking at you she starts walking undoing the path she just made, you wave at Steve and follow the graceful woman. The air between you doesn’t incite a conversation so you dedicate the time to observe the majestic rooms by which the woman leads you. When you cross one specially decorated with large windows you can’t help but staring at the sunny day outside and at the beautiful clear lake that peeks among the trees near the palace, you make a mental note to visit that beautiful place sometime.

Keep reading

dating yoongi

Originally posted by yoonmin

  • yeah, yoongi’s fucking grumpy
  • but that doesn’t meant he’d be grumpy towards you
  • no no no
  • i think yoongi would actually be really caring
  • but not in the traditional sense of the word
  • don’t expect too much kissing and pda and that type of shit
  • he’s not the type to hug you out in public or hold hands as you walk down the street or kiss you as you wait in line to get your coffee to go, he’s just not into that
  • he never understood why people have the need to do those things
  • when there was a time and place for those things, somewhere in private
  • i think he’s more of the type to express his care with small actions 
  • however, his way of caring is something you would have to get used to
  • at first, you’d think he wasn’t that into you
  • you’d be like why isn’t he hugging me??? i want to hug him all the time
  • i want to suck his face off 24/7, why doesn’t he want that??
  • what am i doing wrong??? 
  • he’s literally perfect and i don’t want to fuck this up !?!?
  • he wouldn’t hug you as much as you wanted him to
  • he wouldn’t want to suck your face off 24/7
  • he wouldn’t be all touchy feely like the guys you usually go for
  • you’d get all concerned about it and you’d start thinking he really wasn’t into you
  • but with time you’d learn to appreaciate his signs of affection 
  • like making you coffee in the morning, giving you his hoodies to wear, sending you random texts about his day
  • “i swear to god i’m going to kill one of them if they don’t grow up”
  • “these fools won’t stop messing around”
  • “i fucking hate dance practice with them”
  • “they made me TWERK”
  • “how much time would i serve for six murders?” 
  • “and would you wait for me until i got out?”
  • “sweden is beautiful, we should come here together some day”
  • and you’d know that he thought of you and wanted to share parts of his day with you and that, in his head, that was equal to expressing his emotions in physical ways
  • also you’d live for his late night phone calls
  • he’d call at three am, hoping you were still up
  • “i just finished producing this song, you have to hear it, i promise you’ll love it” *screeching*
  • “i’m done filming for the day, just checking up on you”
  • he’d always show you he cares when he’d call 
  • he’d call just to hear your voice before he goes to bed
  • you’d talk for a minute or two
  • but you’d know it means a lot to him, and that it was his way of being intimate
  • and he’d say things that mean i love you in yoongi language
  • like “did you get home safe”
  • “were there any problems at school today”
  • “don’t catch a cold, wear something warm when you go out”
  • “don’t forget to take your passport”
  • “i’ll call you in the morning so you don’t sleep through your alarm”
  • “don’t drink too much, and if you do, make sure you eat a lot”
  • {crying}
  • i said no touchy feely stuff
  • but don’t think that includes cuddling  !!!
  • he likes to sleep
  • and he loves to sleep with you
  • your head on his chest makes him fall asleep a lot faster, the sound of your breathing lulls him to sleep on cold afternoons as you snuggle up to him covered in blankets
  • he loves it when he’s cold and your body warms him up
  • he always runs his fingers through your hair and plays with the hair on the nape of your neck, and that always calms you down when you’re upset
  • you don’t get as much physical attention every day
  • but when you’re upset
  • yoongi would go all out to make you feel better
  • if someone pissed you off, he’d be very angry and would always offer to talk to them and sort things out for you, or jokingly, he’d offer to beat them up
  • or he’d playfully say he’ll write a diss track on them and you’d know he didn’t mean it, but it was still cute
  • and when he’d see the idea is making you feel better, he’d come up with random diss lines against the person who upset you that you’d end up crying from laughter at his rap lines
  • and if you were sad, yoongi would be EXTRA thoughtful and considerate
  • because he’s someone who knows what that feels like
  • that is exactly why he doesn’t get too touchy feely and why he always seems distant
  • he’s lost in his own world, he has so many thoughts about everything and he likes to keep them to himself
  • he likes to keep his private things private
  • and you’re the most private thing in his life
  • he doesn’t want people to see him kissing you or holding you or doing anything
  • that’s reserved for your eyes only
  • he’s a perfectionist
  • he wants to be perfect to his fans, to his audience, to his band members, but also to you
  • and when he feels like he’s not perfect in something (never!!) he feels bad and shuts everyone off and ends up thinking about the thing he messed up
  • and he ends up in this circle of self-hatred and self-loathing and then pity, and then hatred because of the pity and it doesn’t go away easily, and the only way it does is through his music
  • so when you’d feel down, he’d do everything in his power to make you feel better
  • because he never wants anyone, let alone you, to feel the way he feels when he feels down
  • and those moments when he’d open up to you and tell you about what’s bothering him, share his deepest thoughts with you, let you be the first person to listen to his songs, to his most personal thoughts, worries and desires, those moments would let you know just how much you mean to him
  • and that’s why you would never be unhappy with him
  • even if he didn’t kiss you and hug you all the time
  • it wouldn’t matter
  • he’d do those things when it was most important, when you’d feel down
  • and you could always count on him to make you feel better, no matter where he is or what he’s doing
  • and you’d always try to do the same for him
  • even if you knew most of his problems are in his head
  • and you couldn’t really control them
  • you’d try your best
  • anyway
  • i think he’d be a great boyfriend
  • caring and thoughtful and really funny
  • because his sarcasm and the realness he serves all the time are fucking great
  • and he’s the most relatable person ever
  • and he’s a musical genius
  • plus he’s hot
  • that concludes this late night thirst for boyfriend material yoongi
Allergic Interaction

Inspired by @edorazzi‘s BEAUTIFUL little OCs Amun and Carter and all of their antics, Miraculous’ titular character Chat Noir AKA Adrien and his affliction with feathers, and my recent jackpot of allergies. Enjoy!

Also found on AO3.


           Amun would say his luck with the accursed food was dismal at best.

           Hazelnuts, as he learned since his revival, were not, in fact, cursed but some sort of chemical thing, as Angelo put it, caused him to have a reaction in his immune system. Since his internal organs had recently been re-growing, that meant that former hives evolved into far worse reactions when exposed to the fatal nut.

           His luck was dismal because, even after learning of this and learning enough English reading to avoid it, they were in France, and, therefore, French was written everywhere. Amun hadn’t even thought to ask someone to read it to him - he knew the language of French but not how to read it - when he’d eaten that chocolate bar offered to him by one of the clerks at the museum.

           If not for Angelo’s quick grab for the Epinephrine pen upon seeing Amun go red and begin to wobble from dizziness, this might have been his second death.

Keep reading

I am currently very tired so this probably might not even make sense in the morning but… 

I’m imagining a D&D minigame (probably lasts 1-2 hours tops unless you’re having fun with it) meant to break the ice for new groups, in which the DM controls an adventuring party and the players control NPCs as they naturally pop up. Specifically, it could help new players get comfortable with roleplaying without the pressure of sticking to a character they just made. If you do this before the character creation stage, then even better because they may stumble into a character they like acting out.

Rules that I’m just rambling out please forgive me if they are nonsensical: 

  • It’s all improv. Don’t break a scene to look up game mechanics like prices, or which checks to make, or what would give advantage/disadvantage. This is about the acting so if it’ll throw off the groove, make it up on the spot. It’s all about quick thinking.
  • No modifiers. You’re all making things up on the spot so if you have to roll something, don’t waste time justifying who would have what stats. You could even go without dice altogether. The d20 is just an optional element of chance here.
  • Mandatory introductions. I don’t care how goofy it is. state your name, race, class/occupation, a random character trait, and how their day’s been going up until this point. As many as you can off the top of your head. Go nuts because things get silly before they get really creative, in my experience. Note: Character voices are encouraged. For funsies.
  • Everyone participates in a scene. No pressure on how much they interact, but in each new setting, every player has to put one NPC in that tavern, shopping square, riot crowd, etc.
  • Plot not needed. The adventuring party strategically wanders in a way that builds a town/city/etc as the players make it up. The DM isn’t in charge of telling a story here, just keeping the energy of the improv scene going. This includes-
  • Leading Questions. This one’s the challenge for you, DM who likely already has a control complex and likes to plan out every detail of everything in their world because it gives them a sense of security. If anything, you are the one who most needs to be good at rolling with whatever your players hand you. For the sole purposes of making you uncomfortable, the newcomer adventuring party knows absolutely nothing about this town. Thankfully, the citizens know everything about it. Which is good because you need directions to find your way out of your rented hovel room let alone to the temple–oh that’s right. Who’s the patron there? You sure don’t know! Better ask someone! Get that DMs?? YOU KNOW NOTHING. 
    • Important: If the scene starts slowing down, it’s up to you to either encourage and interact with these townsfolk some more, or get moving somewhere else.

Example scene: order of NPC choice is determined by an initiative roll. 

DM: “Alright, so four adventurers walk into the tavern you’re in–”
Player 1: “Oh! I call the bartender.”
Player 3: “Aw… I had a bit I was gonna do.”
Player 1: “Okay, okay fine, I’m the owner of the tavern, Marcus McMuffin the half orc–stop laughing–and uh… I have a tattoo of a dwarf lover that literally no one else knows about? And my day’s been…hm. It’s been awful because I got stood up for a meeting. DM, I basically live in here, so I’d know they’re new, right? I wanna know if these guys look like trouble makers.”
DM: “The Barbarian’s flexing at anyone who looks in his general direction but other than him fancying a typical bar brawl, they seem decent–if lost.”
Player 2: “I’m the elven bard in the corner and I start trying to seduce the Barbarian with my beautiful voice!!”
DM: “Listen… you can’t just use your character from the last game. Cherry the Elven Bard would’ve totally seduced the barbarian but who are you now?… Nah it’s fine, dude. Take your time. We’ll come back to you.”
Player 3: “I’m the crazy old village drunkard who’s a human named Steve–”
Player 1: “I thought you said you wanted the bartender!”
Player 3: “–Who samples a lot of the wares and is thus the village drunkard! I said I was doing a bit, jeez! DM, I start rambling loudly at the strangers about something that sounds like one of those super infuriating sidequests–you know the kind–where you have to go through a lot of bullshit busywork and the longest fetch quest of your life but there’s a promise of GREAT loot at the end so you consider it anyway. You know what I mean? What do I do for that, roll deception? Persuasion?”
DM: “Nope. No rolls. Personally, I am so on board with this but I need you to make this speech right here and I need you to sell it.” 
Player 3: “Oh boy.”

If for some reason you want to try this please give me a rundown of how it went because I feel like it’s the perfect recipe for hilarious trainwrecks that come with all good icebreakers. (I feel like it’d be a fun drinking game somehow? But I don’t play enough to know how to work alcohol in in a reasonable manner. I’ll leave that one up to house rules.)

Taverns & Tanneries, never coming to a game store near you lmao

Edit: I just realized that when the group starts playing a real campaign, you can embarrass them by working their goofily-named NPCs in, keeping an entirely straight face while doing so. Watch as they squirm and laugh-cry over having to discuss the fate of the world with Marcus McMuf’an. If only they’d known. 

If only they’d known what was to become of Marcus McMuffin.

shikikira  asked:

Yay ask box open again! Can I request a scenario or headcanon of RFA +V+Saeran with a MC that knew them before and they had broken her heart. MC remembers them, but the boys+Jaehee, however, have completely forgotten them. Thank you!

Owch…That would break my heart. These aren’t the best, because I had a trouble with a few of them, but I hope you guys enjoy them! Saeran’s might be weird because it’s usually a scenario I personally like and I couldn’t think of anything else, so sorry if it doesn’t meet your fancy (and sorry I’m gross)


Yoosung

- Every time he talked about how he didn’t have a girlfriend It hurt. 

- It was bad enough he even talked about how he had gotten asked out before, and he turned the girls down, but the fact that he couldn’t even put two and two together with you being one of those girls hurt the worse.

- Were you really that forgettable? Were you bland? Void of any remarkable personality?

- You remembered it well. Him handing you your love letter back, a nervous glance to the side as he explained how he couldn’t date you. Something about school, about him being too focused.

- For the longest time, you thought ‘Rika’ was some girl he had a crush on. He’d mention her a lot at school, and you let your heart crack every time you over-heard.

- Because, from how he gushed, she was the best damn thing.

- Imagine how surprised you were to hear it was his cousin of all people, once you enter the RFA chat.

- Granted…It didn’t make up for how your heart ached, but…

- You were dropping hints constantly about it to Yoosung,trying to get him to remember you, and when that failed you thought maybe this could be your chance to win him over

- But that all fell apart when Seven teased about him knowing you already

- And how he couldn’t.  Remember. You.

- Were you this pretty blonde in his class?

- Oh…No? Some girl he saw at the store a lot?

- Wait, maybe that club leader??

- Nope nope nope. Each answer got made you feel so unremarkable. You ended up closing out of the chat for the day, avoiding any messages or calls

- The next day you hesitantly opened the app again, feeling a wave of exhaustion hit you when Yoosung immediately started calling you.

- At first he tried to apologize, but half-way through his apology his excitement came rushing back and he tried placing you again and again.

- “Yoosung-“

- “Wait, were you actually in my grade or-“

- “Yes,” You sighed, worrying your lip a bit before replying. “Yoosung, you rejected me.”

- “…What?”

- You leaned back against the couch, covering your eyes with your forearm as you struggled to relax and explain. Explained what you looked like, what grade, when it was, even the day.

- And he felt horrible. He could vaguely remember it. 

- Fumbling with his words, he tried to come up with a solution. 

- “I was very focused on work and…No one else back then. I’m still not in the best place, but if you wanted to start over…And give me a chance to properly apologize…I would like that.”

- It wasn’t the best, but… It was a start.

Jumin

- Of course you didn’t really work right beside him like Jaehee did, but as someone constantly running into him in the elevator, or seeing him at meetings you were forced to take apart of, or god forbid his random visits into departments and running into yours

- Over the course of a year, you developed a crush on him. You didn’t think it was too bad, since the two of you spoke sparsely and only in terms of work, and realistically the two of you would never, ever, come close to any type of friendship, let alone relationship

- So what was the harm in daydreaming about the handsome Mr. Han?

- But apparently, you weren’t so smooth about hiding it like you used to be. One boring meeting and you found yourself too focused on him, zoning out until he called you out on it.

- In front of everyone at the meeting. You came up with a flimsy excuse, something about a lack of sleep, and he made a remark on how little you must have cared about your job if you were so uninterested in it

- Owch. There were a few snickers as the meeting continued, and once it started wrapping up you were ready to dart out before you heard him call your name.

- As the others left, you felt like a young student ready to receive detention. He eyed you for a moment. “If working in your department is so uninteresting, perhaps it would be better for you to switch to another one, before you get fired.”

- You sputtered, trying to come up with a reason to your behavior, trying to explain that you loved your job- Just something. Before you could speak, he took note of your blushing face and let out a hum.

- “Or are you another woman that has a crush on me? It’s rather tiresome dealing with my employees just working because of their feelings for me, rather than to work. I suggest you come to terms with the fact that it will never work out, and to focus more on your job like the others.”

- You wanted to cry right on the spot. Thankfully, by some saving grace, you didn’t. You managed to fumble out a goodbye and leave the room, but as you got closer and closer to your workspace you realized just how quickly the gossip of what happened would have spread around. This may be a big company, full of constantly busy employees, but…They always had time for gossip.

- So after leaving early, feigning some sickness, you just didn’t come to work the next day. Or the next after that…Or after that. You just left without a word.

- A few months later, joining the RFA nearly gave you a heart attack as you saw both Jumin and his secretary in there. You were so scared. Granted he was just being blunt, but you wanted to avoid anything dealing with C&R.

- But when Seven revealed that you had worked with him not too long ago, he had no memory of you whatsoever.

-…Were you really that insignificant? He didn’t even remember a girl that supposedly had a crush on him just a few months ago?

- Jaehee didn’t even know you. Apparently a lot of employees just upped and left. Thankfully, when being questioned, Zen just popped in saying that everyone hated working for him and basically talked for you.

- Of course you refused going to his home later on. You opted to try cheering him up through the phone, ignoring the comments about how nice your voice was, and so the first time the two of you saw each other at the party…No light of recognition hit him. 

- Dejected, you tried leaving and mingling with guests like you were supposed to, but sooner or later one of the other RFA members pointed you out and he was quick to pull you to the side, trying to wrangle details of your leave out of you.

- After a solid ten minutes of him obviously not letting up any time soon, you finally explained what had happened. Recounting the event hurt, and seeing his surprised face didn’t help at all. You really were forgettable.

- “Perhaps…I should start being nicer to women, like Assistant Kang suggested, starting with you.” He admitted. Taking your hand, he continued. “I’m very busy, so if it’s not a person I don’t directly work with, I often don’t remember every face or name. I never had a reason to before. But, if you’d let me, I’d like to make up for my careless behavior from before.”

- It was going to take some time to get over that embarrassment, but you were slightly glad that your quiet fantasy was becoming a reality.

Zen

- You worked with him for a while. Granted, not on stage, but part of the crew getting the actors ready.

- Being one of the make-up artists, you worked on several of the cast, including the star of almost all of the shows, even if he was still oblivious to it. He was still pretty new, only a year older than you, but was quickly making his way up.

- He always chatted you up while he could. Nerves? Just talkative? You didn’t know, but you welcomed the small laughs he gave you, and allowed yourself to swoon a bit when he complimented your skills with the make-up.

- And after working with him for a few months, getting to know him a bit better, that’s when you popped the idea of maybe going to a local bar and hanging out, maybe switching numbers…

- Just to get awkwardly rejected. He mentioned something about not knowing you well, and how he had no time for any relationship. Not now, when he hardly had time to practice his lines.

- It hurt, but seeing him slowly start to flirt with fans as he became more popular… That hurt worse.

- Flash forward to you joining the RFA a few years later, and that old wound opening up rather harshly when he had no idea who you were.

- At first the flirting was nice, but the more you knew he had completely forgotten you, the more uncomfortable you became with it. Even getting to the point of trying to avoid him in chats

- It just didn’t feel right. Here he was, treating you so kindly when he was so cold to you before. Didn’t he still have his career to worry about? Jaehee wasn’t hesitant on bringing that up.

- Finally, when the two of you met, and he reached for a hug, you pulled back and saw concern flash across his face.

- “Do…Do you really not remember me?”

- Hearing him admit it, and seeing how confused he was, hurt so much more. You rushed your feelings out- How he had forgotten you, your confession, how awkward it was but you couldn’t just leave because they needed you

- And he felt so fucking guilty. He tried explaining himself, but all he could really offer was that he was indeed just focusing on his career at the time. He didn’t have any chances to skimp out on practice, or risk any lost sleep in between rehearsals and his shitty job at the time.

- But now that he was better off, able to live without extra jobs, he had a bit more time…

- You still felt uncomfortable, but you agreed to humor him a bit. Only with the promise of the two of you sitting down to really get to know each other before any dates. 

- Maybe then it wouldn’t hurt as much.

Jaehee

- You worked in a nearby department. Granted, the two of you couldn’t interact much at first, but later on, as you couldn’t get over how cute she was, you slowly tried talking more and more.

- In the employee lounge? Brief moments when the two of you shared an elevator? When she swung by your department for some papers? You were trying to make some sort of small talk every time you saw her.

- And, eventually, after a few months of this happening, you had come to the realization that you didn’t just think she was cute- She was sweet, admirable, beautiful, and you couldn’t stop thinking about her. A small little fluttering in your chest turned into a full blown crush

- And you were helpless to it.

- Finally, one day when the two of you were alone walking down a hallway, you asked her out on a coffee date, actually using the word ‘date’.

- And she nearly dropped her papers.

- After helping her pick them up, she sputtered something about how she didn’t feel that way, or was attracted to women at all. A few panicked glances, and she excused herself and took off

- And you felt horrible.

- So when you entered the RFA chat and saw who it was, (and groaned about Jumin being there as well) you anxiously tried to come up with explanations for the past, even if it was bullshit, but…She had no idea who you were.

- Your name, the fact that you worked at the same company…She was clueless, and in fact was even more suspicious of you for a while. You brushed it off- Maybe she was bad with names? Maybe she just needed to see you? Or hear your voice?

- Nope. Nothing.

- It was hard not getting emotional at the RFA party- That brief moment of recognition was just for the RFA you, not the you that had been rejected a few months back

- So after excusing yourself to the back to calm your nerves, and dealing with the party itself, you approached her during the clean up. She was still a bit rattled from basically quitting her job, so you felt bad, but you needed to know.

- Would she still want to be friends?

- On the balcony you rushed the words out- How the two of you really knew each other, how you had asked her out- Everything.

- She had that panicked look on her face again, and after a few moments of agonizing silence, she finally spoke up

- “I…I never had a woman ask me out before, so I over-reacted. Actually, it had been quite some time since anyone had asked me out…”

- She paused, looking at the view the balcony provided.

- “I’m more aware of my feelings now…And if you don’t mind, I would like to take you up on that coffee date now. Well, once the shop gets finished being refurbished, haha.”

- You probably shouldn’t have basically jumped her for a hug, but you were so happy when she laughed and returned it. 

Seven

- To be fair, the two of you had never really connected. The two of you barely knew each other, but his jokes and silly nature won you over quickly as he became a regular where you worked

- I mean…He had to buy all that Phd Pepper somewhere, right?

- You weren’t the best cashier by a long shot. You worked hard, worked harder than you were paid to do, anyway, and this was a temp job until you found a better one soon

- Usually you had a few nice customers, but he was one of the…quirky…ones. Your coworkers thought he was funny, a little weird, but he was nice to you so you didn’t care much.

- As the job got more and more shitty, with bad management and such, his regular visits every week or so always brightened your mood up

- But one week he didn’t visit…Or the week after that…Or the month after that. He just stopped coming, and with that being one of the few perks about coming into your shitty job it bummed you out a lot.

- Cut forward to you quitting that job a while back, and then joining in the RFA. You were weirded out at first, since you never found out his name, but his jokes calmed you down pretty fast.

- But when he posted a picture? You were so excited! You gushed about how you worked at so and so and used to see him all the time

- The others joined in laughing at how he only bought drinks most of the time, or other junk food, but he was confused. Even with the background check and seeing everything about you online, he didn’t know who you were.

- That hurt the worse.

- Not to mention the emotional roller coaster he took you on the next few weeks.

- Once things had calmed down, you tried prying a bit again. Did he really not remember you? Were you that plain? He was quick to jump up, grab your hands and say you weren’t plain or boring, but…Then how did he forget you?

- He made some excuse about how he tried not to get too attached to people. He probably thought you were cute back when he first saw you, since the second time he undoubtedly thought so, just…He couldn’t risk it, so he never let himself become too attached. It’s what he always did.

- It helped a bit, just a bit, knowing that in the end he still loved you, but it was better than nothing

V

- At first, you didn’t know if your feelings were from admiration for his art, or for how he carried himself. He seemed so humble, so beautiful, and you were just as smitten with him as you were his work

- Quietly, you were a fan, but you tried your best not to gush or panic when his eyes met yours at his private little shows. You were lucky enough just to get in- You never wanted to risk being unable to see them ever again

- It was about his fifth show that you tried flirting with him. Not grossly, nothing over-the-top, just the quiet “I’d love to chat with you more!” type of flirting.

- And it went horribly. He blushed a bit, taken aback by the implications of a date, before quietly explaining he had his eye on someone else, and had promised her a date of his own.

- Joining the RFA, knowing you had to live up to her name, the woman that beat you to him, made your recovering wound ache deeper

- Not to mention he didn’t even know who you were. Just how many people asked him out? If he was actually famous…Odds are many did.

- You bottled it up, powered through it. He wasn’t on much anyway, but hearing about him from Jumin always brought up the old pains.

- What hurt the worse was never getting to explain, to have a chance at that coffee date you proposed. 

- After being in the chat for a while, trying to help everyone… Watching his supposedly dead fiance at his funeral… How were you supposed to handle this?

- You cried, hard. Probably harder than anyone should after seemingly knowing him for just two weeks, but it hurt so much. Just when you had hope of recovering that old wound, just when you thought you could at least support him again, your chances were shoved away as soon as that bullet hit his chest.

- You weren’t going to be able to have him remember you, but hopefully you could at least do his memory some justice.

Saeran

- One. Night. Stands.

- Granted, the main points of those were to be quickly over and done with, leaving and just not giving general care towards the other person

- But instead of a one time thing, it slipped into a few times. Still sparsely, and you weren’t expecting the message and (bad) selfie to prove it him a week later, after your first meet up from the bar you loved.

- Then, about every other week, the two of you met for quickies. Of course the first time he just up and left. The second time too, but the third time he ended up staying a good hour afterwards, both of you exhausted and making light conversation. Somewhat. He wasn’t much of a talker.

- But soon after that, sometimes he would hang around enough to recharge, go again, and chat sparingly before leaving.

- It was probably from the rush of good sex, but you slowly started a crush on him and his rough attitude. It didn’t help that he was actually a little attractive, either.

- So about a couple of month later, when he dropped full contact and his number leading to a dead end, it kind of hurt. A lot.

- You were a bit proud that you didn’t cry more than a couple of times about it, but he was the first crush you had in a very long time, so admittedly you got a bit too attached.

- And so, after all of the RFA mess happened, and you finally got to see who the hacker was, well… Due to circumstances, you didn’t mention it until a few months after.

- And he didn’t remember you at all.

- Not even something gross, like if you were a good fuck or not. He just had no memory of you at all.

- Sure, it was most likely the drugs in his system and the stress he had been going through. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt you, though.

- At first, you left it at that, made some excuse on how it didn’t matter since the two of you knew each other now, but a few hours later he brought it back up again, asking in a low voice exactly how you two knew each other.

- And, since it was just the two of you in Seven’s bunker, the other twin running out to buy a few groceries, you hesitantly explained.

- And the look on his face made you regret ever bringing it up in the first place. He looked angry? Pained? Pissed off?? He didn’t respond at first, just letting out a few frustrated sighs as he tapped his foot rapidly, grasping at some sort of explanation.

- “When I did stuff like that… I made a point not to remember who I slept with.” He paused, then kept on. “It doesn’t mean you’re forgettable. I made it a point not to get attached and just get what I wanted. If I contacted you again after the first time…It probably just meant I didn’t want to look for anyone else if you were still willing. Or something, fuck.”

- Your chest hurt, and that’s when you realized you had been holding your breath. Obviously, if what you said didn’t have him remember you fully…There were others he treated like that.

- He noticed your tender expression, how you were biting your lip in thought, and he finally faced you, almost even reaching out before pulling his hand back. 

- “I wasn’t in the best place back then. I was fucked up, honestly. But… I’m working on my issues right now. And I’m sorry if I hurt you. I remember you for how you’ve helped me, for how patient you are while helping me and Saeyoung. I’m sorry for not remembering you for sex, but…” He trailed off, his shoulders dropping as he failed to come up with the right words

- “Well… I think I’d rather be remembered for helping you, rather than that. “ You admitted, and he let out a tense sigh. 

- “I know it probably hurt you, but…If we could start over, I would appreciate it.”

- Starting over didn’t seem too bad… Hopefully with time, these tangled emotions would slowly fade, and you could get to know him for who he really was.

Spiritual Drug Use; Practical UPG Guide

Hi! I am calling this a UPG post because, well, it’s my UPG. I have NOT been formally trained in any shamanic system or system of spiritual drug use. This is just my system of being a drug user stoner witch and shamanic practitioner for the past five years. So y'know we’re gunna start with some basics such as

DONT’ START DOING DRUGS. FUCK. DON’T.

Look guys. Doing drugs is NOT a spiritual “shortcut.” Trust me. Doing drugs takes as much time, dedication, pain, sweat, tears, and metaphorical blood as sitting it out on the meditation mat every day. Doing drugs one time will NOT guarantee you a spiritual experience, no matter what Experienced Drug Users™ tell you. In my experience even if a person has an instant spiritual revelation, it’s like a rare candy – 500xp. And that’s it. If you want to learn more and gain more, you have to do more drugs and yeah for some of us it kind of becomes a habit, and no one should erase the fact that for certain spiritual drug users the line between recreational and spiritual is incredibly blurred. And drugs come with shit side-effects. Shit. Pleeeeease trust me. Please do not start doing drugs. It’s not worth it. It isn’t. Plus it’s fucking expensive.

However, in the interest of fuck abstinence-only education, I am going to make a guide. Because some people are going to try it. And I’m not going to stand on the sidelines and wave to those kids as they feel blindly along, laughing and smoking on my pipe and saying “gosh I sure remember when I desperately needed guidance and none was to be had.” So I’m going to write this post :)

Since drug culture is often verbal and stoners and drug users learn through tutelary and initiatory sessions with more experienced drug users around them, I am going to write this post as if the person reading it knows nothing about drug use. This is because I cannot determine the experience level of anyone reading this, so I want to cover every safety concern that comes up.

Oh also, I have not been doing psychedelics and other drugs for decades; I don’t know a whole heck of a lot about the chemical interactions. All I know are basic dumb-person stuff that us regular folks really need to know in order to have safe trips. And that is what I want to share with you today!

Sooooo let’s get started, curious Seeker. I’m going to assume a drug (besides cough syrup and caffiene) has never passed your lips before.

Obviously it would be of huge help to you if you had an IRL friend experienced in drug use to guide you during every session. As equally obvious is the fact that for some people this is impossible. So I give you this short guide as a tea light in the windy path <3

WHAT DO YOU NEED?

You need a certain level of emotional competence. If you cannot control your emotions, acid may not be your drug of choice. In certain psychedelic situations, you need to have a certain control over your own state of mind. On the other hand, it is possible some drugs like marijuana will have a calming effect on you and make it more possible to gain spiritual understanding.

You will need a safe place to trip. You need to have somewhere pretty far away from negative influence. Like, hearing your family yelling in the living room is not an optimal location to have a mushroom trip. If you are comfortable in nature, nature is a great place to trip. “Comfortable in nature” means having the survival skills to reasonably spend a night alone (or with company as your situation allows) in the terrain you choose to camp out in. For fuck’s sake, please don’t drop a ton of acid and wander out in to the forest and get lost with zero survival skills. The trees are not going to wake up and guide you back. You are going to die.

If camping out isn’t an option for you, a very good friend’s house makes an excellent place to take drugs. Especially seek out a friend who is spiritual or very chill with your spirituality; a confidant whom you can tell anything to.

I encourage everyone to wait and seek out a very safe place to trip. You have no idea how much your environment directly influences your trip. You are not going to have a beautiful trip with nature when your environment is dirty, chaotic, and riddled with negativity and human negative emotion. It is very alright to wait weeks or even months until you can have your optimal time to trip. If this means a camping trip half an hour outside of town, great. If this means waiting until the most miserable member of your family is on vacation, great. Do whatever you can. For people tripping inside homes this means thorough cleansing of the trip containment room (your bedroom). In the days or weeks leading up to your trip, try to clean your room as thoroughly as you can. You really want to feel you are in a beautiful temple-space where you are ultimately protected and ultimately able to be creatively free. For people tripping in nature, go to the area beforehand and scout out the energies and spirits there. Hit up a couple of different campsites or locations and just see which place you think will feel best for you. Choose locations which will bring you comfort and relaxation. Don’t show up at dusk on night 1 and find a pissed off and very territorial spirit protecting the campsite you chose online.

You will need basic trip supplies.

Water: ½ gallon for every half-hour of your trip. Multiply by number of trippers on your session. Obviously bring more if you are camping as you should probably not be tripping 100% of the time.

Food; optimally vegetarian (the stomach does flippy things when it sees rainbows and meat in the same sentence), such as PB&J or grilled cheese sandwiches, fresh fruit and vegetable snacks, and vitamin-enforced fruit gummy snacks. Choose things you might feed to someone coming off a stomach flu. Nothing greasy or too rich. Very strong flavor sensations such as those found in sour candy might not be highly appetizing. Prep what you need to beforehand because you may not be able or willing to prepare food for a while.

A cozy space to sleep, whether this be a sleeping bag reinforced with blankies inside a tent, or a bed with freshly made sheets and fluffed pillows. Sometimes when you’re high or tripping you just… need to hit the blankies.

Basic survival (or urban survival) kit. A basic survival kit would include things like first-aid, a knife, emergency lights, etc. A basic urban survival kit is a small bag, purse, fanny pack, satchel, or pocket filled with the following items: ID/driver’s license, all the emergency cash you can muster up ($5-15 is fine if you aren’t intending to go out; $40 if you are going out anywhere. I like a bit of change on hand in case the bros all want to order a pizza, or in case I need to take an emergency Uber, etc.), a list of all the medications you take including what dosage, a daily dose of medication in case you are going out and can’t make it home on time, a list of emergency contacts who are very reliable, a pack of gum (you will thank yourself later) and a small healthy snack (you will definitely thank yourself later!)

Aphone. You need a way to access the outside world. I do not condone tech-free nature trips :P especially not when they are nature “trips” and ESPECIALLY if you are thinking of going alone. Take your phone, take it fully charged, and splurge on a mobile battery pack for it. $10 at Wal-mart. Support the beast to keep yourself safe.

Electrolyte delivery system such as Pedialyte, Gatorade, Powerade, etc. You will need this a couple hours in when you start to get dehydrated. 1 liter of Pedialyte or 3-4 bottles of a sports drink.

Shit to do. You are going to need some stuff to occupy your time with. If you are dropping acid I can almost guarantee you will lost interest in meditation well before hour 7 kicks in.

#DrugUserTip! The real fun of a trip is letting the natural high of your trip wax and wane. There will be times when you want to connect and be spiritual, and other times when you would rather be communicating with someone, making art, writing an article ( ;] ), or watching television or the starry night sky. Ensure you have planned enough to do to occupy your time!

Suggestions are: coloring books and/or art supplies for drawing or painting or whatever medium you prefer. Games, especially if you are going to trip with others; Cards Against Humanity is fun (nothing feels better and gets you more grounded out than feeling like a horrible human laughing at terrible card combos. Great game.), or a deck of cards, kinetic toys, a 3Ds, even a playstation or laptop for playing videogames.

You will need time.

You are going to need to do thorough and accurate research on the drug you are going to use. More on that later, but you need to reasonably know how much time this is actually going to take. If you drop acid for the first time, and it’s a strong enough dose, you may be in for a 12 hour ride. So if you drop at 10am and you have to work at 6pm… not a great combo. Leave the cool “Imma sneak in some heavy drugs right before work because I’m a cool drug user” decision making to the kids who like to show up to work high.

Optimally you will want an entire day afterwords to unravel and ride it out. No work, no school, no family obligations. Just you chilling out with some hot coco alone in your room, processing what happened and getting reacquainted with the world. I will say that I’ve never found this necessary for even the most intense weed trip and I pop right back up like a weed ;) in the morning. If not optimal, just try to get 15 hours between the expected end of the trip and your first obligation. You’ll probably want to sleep a bit between the two.

You will need to research your drug of choice.

What I’m telling you here is just basic shit. You actually gotta go out and look up websites and books and stuff that tell you things because you gotta know about them.

You gotta know what drug interactions you may have. You gotta. This one is not optional. We’re talking like you could kinda literally fuck your shit up permanently if you take the wrong drugs together, so don’t fuck around with it. Go find out your drug interactions.

You gotta have a basic understanding of what this drug is actually doing to you and your brain. If you understand the trip, it makes the trip easier to process, understand, and that makes relaxation easier. If you’re just like IDK WTF IS GOING ON the entire time it won’t be super enjoyable for you. It’s not like cracking a new novel for the first time without reading the back cover first. You’re literally fucking with your brain so???? do the research??? and find out wtf it’s going to do to you??

TWO WORDS OF ADVICE

Do marijuana first.

Look, I like weed. But I’ve never ever ever met an Experienced Drug User™ who recommended doing “heavier”, “harder” drugs first. I’ve actually brought this exact question up to many people and they’ve all said the same thing: start by smoking weed. If you want to have wild acid trips, mind-blowing mushroom journeys, whatever – start with weed. You need to have that foundation level of experience knowing what it’s like to be high before you go get really fucking high.

Consider weed to be the tutorial mode of drugs. A…. gateway…. if you will, to drugs. A portal to step through to get to other drugs. A drug door? If that makes sense?

Don’t do crazy shaman-only drugs. Leave that for the shaman-guided trips.

Skip the Ayahuasca for now. Stick to things we know a little better domestically. If you want to pay for a trip to Peru and sign up for a guided shaman drug trip, you do you!! But don’t try to prepare and do rituals that should be preserved for those with serious spiritual background.

PREPERATORY TIME – WHERE THE SPIRITUALITY ACTUALLY STARTS

We’re talking about a spiritual drug trip :) so at some point, the research ends. You know your drug interactions, you know how this drug is going to affect you. You’ve done your best to create the safest space possible for your trip, with lots of preparations like food and water in the works. Now it’s time to get spiritual.

You will want to fully cleanse before any spiritual drug trip. Unless you want to spend five hours intensely focused on the spiritual grime coating you, please cleanse. A shower will work great :) Scrub yourself from head to toe, starting with shampoo, face, neck, and so on, down to the spaces in between your toes and the bottoms of your feet. As you scrub, just be aware that as you cleanse physical dirt you also cleanse psychic dirt. They are connected; as you clean one, you cleanse the other.

If you want to be more ritualistic about it, here you go:

Take a pot holding about 1 liter of water and boil it. Whenever you add an ingredient, say the following incantation over it: “Spirit of Substance, I ask that you awaken and arise, and add your powers of Powers to my brew, so I may become ultimately cleansed and purified in mind, body, and soul.”

  • Add three large whole bay leaves or pieces adding up to three large whole leaves. Powers: “divine cleansing and powerful uplifting vibrations.”
  • Add a teaspoon of any of the following: lavender, chamomile, lemon balm. Powers: “intense calming.”
  • Add two tablespoons of salt. Powers: “wiping away evil.”
  • Add a teaspoon of rosemary, pine needles, or basil. Powers: “divine protection.”

Bring boil down to simmer. Stir ingredients with wooden spoon clockwise, focusing on how they blend together and form a perfect brew of cleansing, calming, and protective powers. Sooner or later (sometimes up to 15 or 20 minutes for me) you will feel the brew is “ready”. When you feel this, strain the brew out in to a heat safe container. Thank the plant remnants for their sacrifice and discard, but not in the compost (too salty!).

Scrub and clean your tub very well. Take a shower and wash yourself well. After you are rinsed and clean, turn the tub on to a comfortable temperature for soaking. Add your liter of witch’s brew to the bath water. As you pour it, ask the brew to infuse in to the bath water. Imagine your words touch the heart of this potion and speaks to all the spirits within. Soak in the water and let it cleanse you, calm you, and protect you. Light incense and candles in the bathroom if you can for some effective atmosphere.

No tub? No problem! Use a cloth or sponge to soak up the brew in the shower. Squeeze it over your body and pat it on your arms, torso, and legs. Sit quietly and soak in this brew and focus on the protection and cleansing you receive. Meditate to feel the calm.

Once cleansed you will want to place basic wards in the space you are tripping in. If you are in nature, why not a few nail crosses designed to keep away malicious and evil spirits? In your home, try brewing another potion. Use the incantation, “Spirit of Substance, awake and arise! Add your powers of Powers to my protective and defensive brew.” The three basic ingredients are cinnamon, cloves, and red pepper flakes (Powers: “fiery protection” for all three), mixed with frankincense if you have it, bay leaf if you don’t (Powers: “divine protection”). The purpose of this potion is to create a protective barrier. Create a very simple sigil meaning KEEP OUT MALICIOUS SPIRITS AND ENERGIES. When your potion is done brewing on the stove, use a paintbrush to paint large iterations of your sigil on walls, mirrors, doors, and window panes. ENSURE however the ingredients you have chose will not stain any surfaces first!!

Now that you are cleansed and prepped your space for protection, it is time for some relaxing journaling. Light a candle or get in a relaxed atmosphere and ask yourself what you really want from this trip. Is it communication? Learning divine truth? Trying to see spirits? Just hearing from the Universe itself? Whatever you are seeking, write it out. Write out questions as if you are preparing for an interview. Write out thoughts and what your greatest hopes are for this trip. Keep this journal with you to reference while you are high.

Right before the trip, the moments before you take the drug, do a ritual of dedication. This can be as simple as sitting cross-legged and closing your eyes and thinking, “I seek my highest good during this drug trip.” It can be as complex as a full ritual calling the quarters and announcing your intent to the Universe. Do what makes you feel comfortable. Here is a small example ritual if you would like one to reference:

Cast a protective circle. Take two of the following: a stick of incense, a candle, a dish of water, or an earthy stone. Sit in front of them and Name each as the element it represents. For example, “I sit here with this dish of water, which brings Water to my circle. I sit here with this stone, which brings Earth in to my circle.” You do not need all four elements present, this is only a simple ritual :) I think two is a good number but include all the elements you like.

Meditate with the good feelings these elements bring you. Surely it brings you a feeling of calm when you may be nervous about taking a serious drug. When you are ready, say,

“Element of Element, I brought you here today so you could support me and protect me during my trip. I am seeking a spiritual journey, and I want your guidance and support during this time.” Repeat this for each element. Speak to them honestly; tell them about your worries and fears. Get your anxieties out. Tell them about what you hope to achieve and what you are excited about!

When you are done talking, place the representations somewhere nearby. Ask the elements to stay with you, and if they are willing then you have a good valuable ally during your trip :) Erase your circle as you should no longer need it within your fully warded trip space.

ALRIGHT LET’S DO SOME DRUGS

Food and water? Check. All spiritual preparatory steps? Check. All physical safety preparatory steps? Check. Nothing left to do now but take some drugs, amIright?

At this point it basically becomes a personal experience but I can tell you some common things you may run in to and how I personally handle them.

Once I take a drug I usually feel a rush of nervous energy. I just strapped in for the rollercoaster ride and now, welp, I’m still sober and gosh that anxiety is getting bad…. some drugs, such as LSD or marijuana edibles, can take a long time to kick in. Do not take extra doses because nothing has kicked in after 30 minutes. You should know how long this drug is going to take to kick in for you. You should know how long you need to reasonably wait, even hours, to feel the effects.

I find that marijuana greatly increases the intensity and effect of every other psychedelic I take. If you are a marijuana smoker, try smoking weed to calm pre-trip anxiety and to help the trip “kick in” once enough time has reasonably passed for the drug you took.

Sometimes, laying down during a trip is really nice. But if I’m too high it turns in to a nightmare. If you are not feeling good, ask yourself if you are being very sedentary. Why not get up and move around? Try an activity like a coloring book or a simple task like taking a shower :)

Stay in communication!! Whether that be with your IRL trip buddies, your online friends, your spirit friends, your gods, the Universe… stay talking :) don’t go too deep inside your own head. Shit just gets weird in there. To me, the point of drug trips are the increased ability to communicate.

Doodle and journal whenever you feel the urge. It is quite nice to be able to reflect on your mushroom trip homebrew psychedelic drawings later on. As you practice being high, you’ll learn to write more accurate and concise reflections of your mental state that make more sense while you’re sober. Don’t mind if you can’t decipher your ramblings right away! It does take a bit of practice.

Allow your thoughts to carry you. Don’t trouble yourself with forcing a certain path. These drugs defy force and certainty. Let the trip take you where it wants to go. Of course you can guide it and stop negative thoughts :) but if you wanted to have a trip about seeing spirits, and it turns in to a trip about learning messages from your higher self, let the trip take its natural course. Don’t try and force it in to your idealized version of a trip.

If a negative thought does come up, there are some things I have trained myself to do: don’t dwell on it. When I trip, dwelling on a negative thought is like a freefall through the ocean depths. I spend just a few moments focused on negativity and when I’m ready to come out of it I realize I’m 20,000 leagues under the sea. So my trick is to squash that shit. Here are some methods I use to squash negative energy thoughts when I’m high:

  • Put the thought in the Vault. Just lock it up in that box in the back of your brain that never opens and you can only teleport stuff in and it never comes back out. Just boop, in the vault. Locked up.
  • Put the thought on a leaf floating down a stream, to be carried downstream to a very tall purifying waterfall.
  • Obsessively think about something else. Browse Tumblr or Reddit. Sketch. Talk to people. Distract yourself hardcore and get fun and energized and kinda dig the trenches for some good energy to flow back in.
  • Chilling with plants is DOPE while you’re on psychedelics, especially a beloved plant that has been treated well. Chill with some house plants or a nearby tree :D Try this if you are feeling anxious or overwhelmed.

No shame in hitting the blankie fort. Sometimes I get very over-stimulated. If you are feeling like input is too much, flop on the bed and put a pillow over your ears.

Try keeping lighting low to minimal depending on your comfort levels. Very bright lights just seem… harsh. It’s not fun. I typically do not prefer natural flame because I am very safety conscious while I’m high, so usually a dim lamp in a room is enough for me.

When you want to get started meditating, become comfortable and use your favorite techniques. Don’t focus too much on controlling your thoughts. Just focus on your goals for this session (you know, the ones you journaled about in the preparatory phases!) and let yourself relax, try to stay focused, and see what happens.

Drink water. Even when you don’t feel particularly thirsty. Switch between water and your electrolyte system. Don’t over-do it and get water poisoning, obviously. Just sip water regularly and drink electrolytes regularly.

Don’t double-dip. Eventually your trip will wear off. Don’t be tempted to take extra doses to make the trip last longer. It won’t work, you’ll waste drugs, and you’ll be disappointed. Even if you didn’t get your “guaranteed” full hours of trip, just let it go :) you got what you were there for! This just means more time to come down, get sleep, eat, and decompress before your responsibilities coming up.

COMING DOWN

You should definitely already know the come-down effects of the drugs you took. With a lot of psychedelics this can mean feeling like trash for days after. Combine this with a mental illness like depression or bipolar disorder and you’re gunna feel riggity-riggity-fucked up in a bad way, son. Get your support systems in order. These drugs are no joke and they will make you feel terrible under the right conditions. Hopefully you’ll be riding an amazing spiritual high that will get you through this time but in any situation, be prepared for the come-down.

There are things you can do to improve this process. In the days leading up to your trip catch up on chores so you have very little to do in the days following your trip. Prepare food ahead of time. Even trade shifts if you need to. Spend a lot of time with IRL people and friends, this helps take the edge off. Chamomile tea and other bright flavors and herbs will help “brighten” you up. Spend time in the sun. Get LOTS of sleep and lots of good nutritious food (your body has to rebuild all the chemicals it lost… needs good nutrition to do so!)

WAIT BUT I WAS JUST SMOKING WEED THIS ALL SOUNDS KINDA HARDCORE

Alright so you’re just smoking weed! Basically all this info still applies. Scale as necessary. You may not need such hardcore preparations and you won’t have a “coming down” phase.

Still prepare things to do. Still do a dedication ritual, a cleansing ritual, and set up protections. A spiritual drug trip is not the same as a recreational drug trip. You are calling and attracting and connecting with greater forces, and this does attract negative attention sometimes. So DON’T skimp on protections, even for weed. If you’re a lazy stoner mage like me, just permanently ward your room and have a few handy amulets you can carry with you when you need to go out. Easy-peasy.

THE END

Yep! This is all I got for ya! I hope this was helpful in a practical sense to anyone seeking spiritual drug use guidance. Again, I do not advocate anyone start using drugs. But as I stated earlier, I do not support abstinence-only education so this is why I have written this post :) I hope this can help keep at least one person safe on their journeys. Message me with any questions!

Traveling around the world with Grayson would include ♡

Requested: ‘’Can you do a travel around the world with grayson? Please, I love your blog 💙 ‘’ and ‘’Can you do a bullet point of what it would be like to travel the world with grayson’’

➼ Grayson would be reaaaally excited and stoked and count down the days till you go

➼ Since Grayson is a very adventurous type I have the feeling the trip would most of the time be very spontaneous; you would visit places and do things that just came into his mind

➼ Packing and buying things you are going to need on the trip together

❥ “Grayson are you sure that’s all you are going to take with you? We are leaving for two months.”

❥ “I’m sure, Y/N. Besides, all I really need is you.”

➼ But you are still more of a person who wants to make defenitive plans and lists of places you guys would really like to see (a bucketlist type of thing)

❥ “Gray, are there any places you have to visit? We really have to settle things.”

❥ “I go wherever you want to go. It doesn’t really matter as long as I’m with you baby.”  

➼ Falling asleep on his lap on the plane                                                                                                                      
❥ “Baby, wake up, we’re almost there…”

➼ You guys would love to visit some popular cities (like Paris, London and Berlin) and he would take you to very chique hotels and restaurants

➼ Sending Ethan postcards from all the countries you visit

➼ Renting a car and going on roadtrips to explore the city

➼ He would propose to you in a very romantic restaurant, or maybe just when it’s late at night and you just had the best sex ever lol everything is possible ;)

➼ Eating weird foreign food if you feel like doing something new (probably regretting it later)

❥ “Gray, I really don’t know what this is…”

❥ “I don’t have a clue either. If it’s really bad we’ll just grab a pizza after this.”

➼ Shopping at Harrods (let’s be honest; money is not a problem lmao)

➼ Having this weird thing where you guys would want to have sex in every hotel you visit (and of course having to be really quiet since you have neighbors)

➼ Taking at least a hundred pictures every single day

➼ You trying to keep a journal and writing down every special moment and thing you experience

➼ Going to local festivals and meet new people

➼ Buying souvenirs which remind you of the great places you visited

➼ Trying to learn a new language together

➼ Visiting Hawaii and going to jungles, forests and beaches; just being with him alone, far away from the modern world

➼ Teaching him how to read a map

➼ And probably still getting lost but you would end up discovering the most lovely places ever

➼ Enjoying your boyfriend walking around shirtless for most of the time

➼ Going on long hikes and him carrying you on his back if you’re too tired to walk

➼ Tree Climbing

➼ Sleeping on the beach

➼ SEX ON THE BEACH

➼ Diving off cliffs (and Grayson worrying that you’ll hurt yourself)

➼ Going to waterfalls and go skinny dipPINGG OMGG

➼ Waking up really early and go to a near hill with blankets to watch the sunrise together: it could be really quiet where you just enjoy each others company or he would love to have deep conversations and talk about your future and stuff

❥ “It’s so incredibly beautiful here…”

❥ “Not as beautiful as you are, though.”

➼ Because you’re a liiittle clumsy he would be VERY protective and always making sure that you’re okay; wherever you are and whatever you’re doing

➼ He would probably record some of his favourite moments and make a video out of it

➼ Going to Alaska or somewhere else where it’s cold and snowy

➼ Husky sledding !!! omg and him holding you really tight since he’s worried you would fall of the sled lol

➼ Ice skating and warming up afterwards with hot chocolate

➼ Sometimes wishing you would never have to go home…

➼ Simply having the time of your lives and talking about it a lot on the way home and for many years after that

For Us

Happy birthday, Danny Boi! I know it’s already June 12 in the majority of the world, including the part Dan’s in, but it’s 10:00 PM on June 11 where I am sO I’M GONNA KEEP THE CELEBRATION GOING WITH A FIC!!!


Description: It’s Dan’s 26th birthday and he’s feeling a bit existential. But Phil comes along with the ultimate day and the ultimate present to cheer him up.

Genre: Extreme fluff 

Warning: Some potential existential crisis-starting material 

Word Count: 1330

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Road Trip || Jocks + Alex

Originally posted by sifresiniunutandavinci

Pairing/s: Zach Dempsey x Reader (Platonic) , Montgomery De La Cruz x Reader (Platonic) , Jeff Atkins x Reader (Platonic), Justin Foley x Alex Standall 

Fandom: 13 Reasons Why

Request:  Is there any way you could do an imagine that goes along with the request you got: “Could you do headcanons for a roadtrip with reader and the boys (justin, zach, monty, jeff etc.)” that you did? I hope this makes sense..

Author’s Note: It’s not really an imagine, it’s just little moments based on some of the headcanons I posted. Also, just so you know what the car looks like, imagine the car from paper towns, when they go on that roadtrip (if you haven’t seen it you should). 

L/M means Landmark

Y/N/N means Your Nickname

S/N means Song Name

And, I’m sorry, all my followers that don’t like Justin/Alex, but there’s a bit of them in here. 

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dan and phil play what would you do if: a summary

danandphilgamesDILEMMAS i feel personally attacked thanks phil

they credited jack’s video aw

they didn’t need to do that but philly loves crediting people

phil’s example includes a badger of course

the brown vs black circle debate

“we’re learning things about each other and you’re learning things about us” i’ll be shocked if you find anything you don’t know about each other tbfh

the firearm question… wow okay

“hey there mister philly, what’ve you got yourself an illegal weapon for? planning on doing some sneaky shooting?” cue the multitude of policeman!dan aus

dan tear your eyes away from him

actually don’t i’ve missed this

“i’d put it in a cloth bag without touching it with my own hand, so there’d be no fingerprint, then they’d know i didn’t touch it… unless i did touch it then wiped it down and then did that… but they wouldn’t know that” well phil did say we’d learn more about them… he’s thought about this to a great extent before

“this sounds like something you’ve thought through” dan and i on the same wavelength

“life isn’t grand theft auto, guys” - phil lester 2k17

‘what would you do if the house you are in is on fire?’ “i mean it would be very good for your username” phil ever the optimist

“we don’t have pets, stop rubbing it in game”

“i feel like because the internets watching i have to say i’d save everyone but me”

dan’s array of accents is always lovely

phil got about five hours sleep the night before the boy needs an early night

“what is a pervy stuff?” first of all mister english degree, flawless grammar usage and secondly dan’s reaction represents all of us

“as pervy as you want mate, time has stopped…. as long as you don’t leave a trace” the wholesome howell branding has completely disappeared

phil discussing going into a locker room whilst time has stopped… i wonder which gender he has in mind

if any at all

the dimple is looking particularly gorgeous today

dan knows phil like the back of his hand and is insistent that phil would actually do the pervy stuff

wake up people wake the hell up

phil is now obsessed with pervy stuff and is making up his own option

have fun with that, smut writers

dan is spiritually always stuck in sewers

“i believe there are mutant crocodiles beneath london” - again, phil lester 2k17

“phil would lick a foot rather than stay somewhere for three months, that’s what we’ve learnt”

of course dan gets a question about his dead best friend

and the trend of killing phil apparently is still a thing,,,, remember that video

“it’s actually dan and fernando games” phernanado looks weird so i used fernando ok fight me

“i’m not fernando. ask me something fernando wouldn’t know” // “i mean you’ve been fernando the entire time…” // “oh”

phil’s weird tongue laps

great description kirsten truly you have a gift

don’t mind me roasting myself

back to the video

“that means i can use my real voice now…. continue the friendship daniel” // “bye mate” yet phil cannot use his real humour as fernando,,, abolish the innocent branding bc it’s one thing u ain’t

“bestselling novel, yes mate” // “is that your next book?” i’d kill for dan to write a novel i really would like he jokes about it but nah i’d be all over that shit

“dan and fernando games, thumbs up if you want it to continue” // “rebranding incoming” joe dare he joke about it

the ripped skinny jeans and glitter nail polish are the true rebrand here

“i like sitting down”

dan’s facial expressions in this video are absolutely extraordinary i love him

daniel trump

“phillu…” // “yassu”

“yes punch me dad” can dan go a single video without calling something or someone dad

i wonder if he calls his own dad dad that would be weird by this point right

if dan became a spider….. that’s definitely going to be a fic by the end of this week

spies instead of flies same

dan’s deep speech

“spiders only live for like a week…” // “ideal”

phil’s logical reasoning i’m living

the word orgasm comes into the mix and dan’s clocks slows right down and he’s thinking all manner of things look at him

dan you’re on camera stop thinking of either you or phil climaxing in space

or both of you

i’m not here to judge nor am i a mind reader

unfortunately

anyway

phil would film himself moonwalking in space and upload it

like he needs the views

pfffft

“that’s such a laddy answer”

p a r t y b o y s

“that’s some mark of oxin shiz”

“what, you’re going to incinerate me???” // “definitely”

you can tell who said what in that last quote pair i’m laughing

phil’s question is about living with a monkey but he already lives with a clingy creature does he not

“no i’m not having sex with a monkey!”

“i would spoon a monkey, for sure” phil i have many questions, oh so many questions

dan describing the options in detail is extremely interesting if you think about it

“… or just once a month, spank the monkey” what beautiful imagery dan thank you so much for killing any fic inspiration anyone had

phil is going to extreme lengths to argue against banging a monkey

“i would spoon the monkey, watch some game of thrones, and then go to bed in separate rooms”

and now dan won’t leave the spanking of the monkey alone

fucking hell the tension i can feel it through the camera

“no monkey sex!”

“you guys are alright out there… mostly”

“that was an emotional rollercoaster” you said it danny boy

i feel like i do know so much more about phil

whether or not that is a good thing i am still debating

“no please god no that was traumatising” dan actively trying to stop people requesting another video

he knows that just spurs people on it’s been years now

“we’ll see you next time if you come back after that monkey question”

please nobody write that fic i’m begging you please please don’t

danhasnomorals

AmazingMonkeyLover

i wonder who edited and added the annotations for this video hm i have no clue

this was a mistake

eventful to say the least

emilysidhe  asked:

Hey! No pressure to answer if you don't wanna, but you've mentioned liking comics!Ollie a few times and I mostly know him secondhand through Birds of Prey. So my main impression of him is "cocky asshole serial cheater Dinah is better off without" and I was wondering if you'd be interested in talking about what I'm missing about his character not reading his own comics? Thanks!

Sure! So here’s the thing: Ollie-as-cheater is a retcon. The timeline goes something like this [CW: rape]:

  • 1941-1969: Ollie has no real recurring love interest. (There’s Miss Arrowette, aka Bonnie King, Cissie’s mom, but she’s only portrayed as a potential love interest for Ollie in one of her four Silver Age appearances.)
  • 1969: Ollie develops his leftwing hothead personality and falls head over heels for Dinah (who originally was a good ten years older than him, which is a dynamic I love).
  • 1988: While in a committed relationship with Dinah, Ollie is raped by Shado, who bears a child as a result. He has no knowledge of this happening and doesn’t know the child is his.
  • 1993: Ollie is kissed by a teenage runaway he and Dinah have taken in, and Dinah dumps him for not pushing her away.
  • 1995-2000: Ollie dies. Chuck Dixon relentlessly portrays Ollie as a lovable but incorrigible horndog in both Connor’s Green Arrow and Dinah’s Birds of Prey, largely to contrast virginal, shy (and likely queer, deal with it Homophobic Chuck) Connor with his father and to explain some of Dinah’s issues during this period.
  • 2000: Ollie is resurrected in Quiver, which is my favorite Green Arrow story, but has a few terrible moments in it, including one in which he is depicted as willingly cheating on Dinah with Shado.
  • 2002-2016: Ollie is dragged through a decade and a half of character assassination in which more infidelity is retconned into his backstory, he’s revealed to have knowingly abandoned Connor and his mother after Connor was born, he cheats on Dinah some more, their relationship becomes increasingly toxic and physically violent, and everything is terrible. Honestly, I’m not sure how bad it eventually got, because I jumped ship completely after Lian’s death.
  • 2016: Green Arrow: Rebirth happens and my big dumb romantic hippie rascal came BACK and I love him so much I want to cry about it!

Ollie has definitely never been perfect. The only part of your description I disagree with, actually, is “serial cheater,” because he is cocky (but I like cocky) and he is an asshole (but I like assholes) and he isn’t good enough for Dinah (but no one is). And he and Dinah weren’t perfect during the 25 years or so they were together before his death. She ostensibly dumped him for kissing Marianne, but this was coming on years of being impulsive and irresponsible (one time he went out to run errands and ended up in a dog race in Alaska).

But man, the writing of the two of them after he came back to life and Kevin Smith left the book was just dreadful, and I largely blame Judd Winick for that (although I goddamn hate what Brad Meltzer did, too). Winick turned their banter into toxic fighting - at one point, Ollie calls Dinah a slut and accuses her of sleeping with an entire football team, she hits him, and then they get really turned on by this and do it. No, Judd, hitting is not “sexy” when women do it, especially when they’re one of the top ranked martial artists in the world. Around the same time, Babs is shocked to learn that Dinah is marrying Ollie, “who fathered Connor with that Shado woman” - except Connor’s mother is Moonday and Shado raped Ollie. It’s a combination of comics not accepting that men can be raped (and Grell really didn’t write it as rape, just a ~thing that happened~), and writers basing their characterizations on retcons instead of the original text and that particular aspect of Ollie’s character snowballing.

I’m willing to accept that Ollie’s a tomcat, no problem. The man has two (or three! I personally believe that Cissie is his) illegitimate children with (two (or three) different women, none of whom are The Love Of His Life. I have no problem with a characterization of Ollie as Enthusiastic About Sex. But the cheating retcon really gets my goat. (As does the retcon that he knew about Connor from birth, which I simply refuse to accept. It’s my Green Arrow Rubicon and I won’t cross it.)

As to why I like him: again, he’s not perfect. He’s a mess. (I like messes! Look at Booster Gold. Look at Daredevil.) But he’s a try-hard mess. He’s so passionate and he cares so much. He makes the spiciest chili and yells at people about recycling and spends half an hour waxing his beard into points every morning and accidentally brings a new teenager home every time he goes outside. He is cranked to eleven 100% of the time and even if he sometimes goes too far or gets it wrong, it’s never out of apathy.

Ollie is a showboater and irresponsible and he fucks up all the time - with Roy, with Connor, with Dinah. But he loves with his whole self and he wants the hero community to be better than they are and he has committed to a silly theme to a truly ridiculous degree and I just adore him.

If I have convinced you to give Ollie a shot (ha, arrow pun), here are my recs:

  • Green Lantern/Green Arrow by Denny O’Neil and Neal Adams, otherwise known as the Hard Traveling Heroes era. Be warned that this is 70s liberalism so there are some well-intentioned but reeeeeeally dated Hot Takes on race and class, and some real opposition to women’s lib. (But oh boy does Adams draw a beautiful Dinah.)
  • Hunter’s Moon by Mike Grell. The Grell era on GA actually starts with the miniseries The Longbow Hunters, which spun off into Ollie’s first ongoing series; Hunter’s Moon collects the first issues from that run. But The Longbow Hunters, though visually stunning as well as important (it moved Ollie and Dinah to Seattle, introduced Shado, and temporarily removed Dinah’s Canary Cry), has a lot of sexual violence (against Dinah) and Orientalism in it. I’m sick of books with violence against women being the Important Comics so I’d rather boost Hunter’s Moon, which shows Dinah going to therapy and working through what’s happened to her as a person with agency instead of using her trauma as a plot point to motivate Ollie. But I’m including Grell in here because Dinah’s assault aside, he depicts Ollie and Dinah’s relationship as healthy, complex, and joyously sexual, and I love it.
  • Quiver and Sounds of Violence by Kevin Smith and Phil Hester. Ollie’s resurrection and the sequel. As noted above, Smith hits a couple sour notes for me, but I mostly love his Ollie, plus he introduces Mia here and I would die for her. And Hester’s Ollie has imprinted on my heart forever as my Ollie. (Weirdly, Smith and O’Neil share the odd distinction of writing my favorite Green Arrow and my least favorite Daredevil.)
  • Green Arrow: Rebirth and the current ongoing series by Benjamin Percy and Otto Schmidt. Can be clunky, but the heart is there, as Ollie tries really really hard to unlearn his privilege, be worthy of Dinah, and repair his relationships with Diggle (!) and Roy. Also features his kid sister Emiko Queen, who was created somewhere during the time that I was ignoring Green Arrow comics but she is PERFECT and I would fight a mountain lion for her. In some beautiful parallel universe Mia and Cissie and Emi all live with Ollie and make fun of him 100% of the time and it’s beautiful.

In conclusion, THANK YOU if you made it through all that nonsense, and please enjoy this ridiculous macro from LJ user parsimonia that I saved a million years ago and which makes me laugh every time I look at it:

Leave Me and Love Me

Author: @dylan-trash-tbh 

Pairing: Stiles x Reader 

 Words: 3079

 A/N: I have got a prompt request a while ago 🙂

 Em my angel! What would I do without you? Thank you so much for editing again 💕 I love you @fillthevoid-stilinski 

MASTERLIST

Originally posted by readersleepingintheforest

 Stiles POV 

 The weather was nice today, so the group and I decided to spend our lunch break outside. Everyone was in a good mood, well besides Y/N but this was nothing unusual. She was always in a grumpy mood but nice in her own way at the same time. The Y/H/C haired girl was not like any other girl I knew. If you didn’t know her, you probably would ask yourself why she was even part of our friend group. Because she was so different than the rest of us and seemed to be rude to everyone all the time. But when you know her, you knew that she was very kind at heart.

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anonymous asked:

I'm sorry if this question is triggering or anything, but I was wondering in what ways an autistic child could be bullied and manipulated by their parents or other important adults using their autism as a centre focus? For example, a young child with sensory issues that prevents him from tolerating liquids on his skin being forced kicking and screaming into the shower (the parents know that he doesn't like water) etc?

Hoo boy, this is a very personal subject for me. I grew up in an abusive family, and I have lots and lots of personal experiences I can share as examples. Obviously this is not even close to an exhaustive list, just some examples from my personal experiences.

Do be aware that this post will contain descriptions of emotional/verbal abuse and some physical abuse. If anyone is uncomfortable with this topic, feel free to skip the rest of the post.

First off, let’s take a moment and look at why autistic children get abused. In some cases, a parent would be abusive regardless of whether the child is autistic or not. In such cases, the parent has their own psychological issues that influence them. If you’re writing this type of abusive parent, it’s a good idea to delve into their backstory a little bit and decide what their reason is for being this way. Portraying them as “evil” without a reason isn’t accurate and can even be harmful for real-life victims of abuse whose situations are not so clearly black and white. There are many possible reasons someone might be abusive, including having been a victim of abuse in the past and certain psychological disorders which can cause some people to act abusively, such as narcissistic personality disorder - but this blog isn’t about those topics. If you are looking for resources for writing such characters, we recommend paying a visit to @scriptsocialwork and/or @scriptshrink.

Another type of abusive parent is abusive specifically because their child is autistic. They may not realize the child is autistic. They may believe the child’s behavior is due to environmental factors, or that the child is willfully difficult. They may think they can make their child less sensitive or more social - more “normal” - by forcing them to “face” the things that upset them. They might feel like a victim who has been cursed with a difficult child and lash out at that child, or they might feel they need to be a superparent who cures their child of their difficulties by force. They may believe they are doing the right thing with this abusive behavior. They may also be responding to pressure from teachers or other parents who think that the child’s “problems” are the result of the parenting style and push them to be stricter, etc. They may be praised by others for this abuse of their child. And then there is “therapy” where autistic people are abused by “experts” who think their autism can be cured.

It’s important to note that abuse does not have to be intentional. If the abuser doesn’t realize what they’re doing is wrong, or isn’t intending to hurt the victim, that doesn’t make it not abuse.

That said, let’s look at some specific ways autistic children can be abused by their parents. Sadly, these examples are far from rare, and in most cases, the parents even believe they are doing the right thing by hurting their child in this way. As a side note, while we like to push for positive representation of autistic people, this is a subject which is not often addressed, and having an autistic child living through abuse in a story could be a very helpful thing for the world to see and learn to understand, so that changes can be made.

Physical Abuse

All types of physical abuse that can be used on allistic children can be used on autistic children as well. If the child is particularly sensitive, the abuse can be even more harmful. This includes all types of hitting, spanking, and other physical attacks on the child. All of these methods have been proven to be detrimental to the mental health of a person as they grow up, and children who are physically abused (even just spanking) have been shown to have greater psychological problems later in life.

In addition to these “classic” methods of physical punishment, anything that involves the autistic person’s particular sensitivities can be abusive as well. The example given in the ask of a child being forced screaming into a shower is a good one. From my experience, I can also add:

  • Being forced to go swimming despite sensory issues with still water on the skin. I was forced to take swimming lessons at a summer camp despite the water on my skin causing me to panic, and was consistently reprimanded for “refusing” to pass the tests at the end of each level and remaining in shallow water at all times. 
  • I was also once, as a teenager, picked up and thrown into a natural pond by my father’s girlfriend. Everyone else was going swimming on this hot summer’s day, but I didn’t want to because, in addition to not liking swimming, I was having my period. I didn’t want to communicate that in front of everyone, so I tried politely declining. My father’s girlfriend, who was “fed up” with me refusing to participate in group activities, physically picked me up, fully clothed, and threw me screaming into the pond. Everything fell out of my pockets and sunk to the bottom, and the pad in my underwear was soaked through. I ran sobbing into the house while my dad’s girlfriend continued to shout after me that I was being ridiculous and rude to everyone.
  • Once, as a “punishment” for not taking part in a social activity (I was overloaded and went off on my own to read for a while in a quiet spot), my bed was sabotaged by my father and sisters. Everything metal in the room, including a set of metal dumbells and a guitar stand, was hidden underneath the blankets and pillow of my bed. When I jumped into bed (as I always did, onto my knees, something everyone in the family was aware of), I landed on metal. I hurt my knees quite badly, but was ignored when I asked for help. Afterwards, when I was limping for a few days, I was yelled at for “making a scene” and “trying to get attention”. (I still have issues with my knees.) After removing the objects from under the blanket, I threw myself down on the pillow, not realizing something was under that, too, and got quite a lump on my head.
  • I was once forced to eat food the taste and texture of which made me gag. My dad’s girlfriend had cooked a sort of strange pizza with unusual ingredients, and I couldn’t choke it down despite being desperately hungry. I tried to get up from the table and was shouted at, told that it was extremely rude to refuse to eat someone’s cooking, and that I was not to get up until my plate was clean. Everyone else quietly ate, finished, got up. My sisters went to play. My dad and his girlfriend went off to do whatever they did. I sat at the table crying for two hours, feeling bruised from the hard wooden chair, my stomach aching with hunger, but unable to eat the food. Eventually my father relented and allowed me to simply go to bed without eating rather than force-feeding me the “pizza”.
  • My mother and grandmother were obsessed with making me “ladylike” (I was widely regarded as a tomboy). Throughout my childhood, I was forced to wear my hair up in braids and ponytails, tightly pulled together with elastics or scrunchies. My scalp was particularly sensitive, and I could feel every hair being pulled out. I cried all the time and begged to be allowed to let my hair down, but was refused. My grandmother frequently insisted that “beauty hurts sometimes” and my mother told everyone that I was known to “make up” aches and pains for no real reason other than to get attention, encouraging everyone to ignore my tears. As soon as I was out of sight, I would always let my hair down. My scalp would hurt for hours afterwards, and then I had to endure being screamed at when I was found out.

Physical abuse can also involve meltdowns, which are often mistaken for tantrums by parents, and shutdowns, which are often mistaken for refusal to speak (the “silent treatment”).

  • I remember having a meltdown at the end of a camping trip with my dad, his girlfriend, and my sisters. The overload of an entire week without any time alone, sleeping on a hard surface, constantly bit by mosquitoes, eating food I didn’t like, and other sensory nightmares of the forest, had taken too much of a toll and I finally couldn’t stand it anymore. When I was ordered to help clean and pack the tent, my brain went SNAP and a meltdown started. All I remember is feeling a need to escape, to be somewhere quiet. I tried to run, and I was chased by an angry father and his girlfriend. I tried to hide in the backseat of the car, which was the only suitable hiding space I could find, and was grabbed by the ankles and ripped out of the car. They were screaming at me to calm down, holding onto my arms and legs with a much-too-strong grip while I thrashed around, unable to control my body, sobbing my eyes out. I was “in trouble” for weeks after that for “throwing a tantrum” instead of helping out like the others.
  • During shutdowns, when I typically go nonverbal and am unable to speak, I have frequently been grabbed, shaken, pushed, etc. as attempts to force me to speak while I “rudely” “refuse” to communicate.

These are just a few of the many examples of physical abuse from my childhood. There were also plenty of unpleasant situations that weren’t abuse - for example, when I had to put my shoes on quickly because we were late for something important, but I didn’t have time to straighten the seams on my socks, and my feet hurt all day as a result. I don’t really blame my parents for things like that. But when a child makes it clear that something is painful or very unpleasant for them, there is no reason to force them to endure it, and the parents insist on forcing them anyway, or use sensory overload or other such things as “punishments” for autistic behavior / failing to act allistic enough, then it is abuse.

Emotional and Verbal Abuse

Even more common is verbal and emotional abuse. All physical abuse is also emotional abuse, but there are many types of verbal/emotional abuse that often go unrecognized because so many people think of abuse as a physical thing. Emotional abuse of autistic people is very common, as many of our traits and behaviors are seen as “deviant” in some way, and it is a common cultural idea that deviant behavior, regardless of whether it hurts anyone, should be corrected or even punished. There are also many parents who feel entitled to a “normal” child and will blame an autistic child for making their lives more difficult. Then there are, as always, some parents who will be abusive regardless of what type of brain the child has.

While most of my physical abuse was at the hands of my father, his girlfriend, and my sisters, my mother was a neverending specter of verbal and emotional abuse. I should note that my mother has her own psychological issues and was equally abusive towards my allistic sisters, though they were far better equipped to deal with it than I was. Here are some real-life examples from my childhood.

  • It was made clear to me from a very young age that what I felt and what I wanted was not important, especially if what I wanted was different from the majority. If my mother wanted something and we didn’t give it to her / do it for her, we were being selfish. If we wanted something, we were being selfish. This was done both to my sisters and to me, but my sisters had the support of friends and teachers at school, who reassured them that it is normal to put yourself first sometimes and that it was not acceptable for a parent to treat their child this way. I did not have any friends and I didn’t know how to communicate my problems to my teachers (or even that I had a right to), so I had no support, and slowly developed a complex of believing I was a bad and selfish person. This led to a series of further abusive relationships later in my life, as I felt I had no right to refuse someone’s demands or stand up for myself. This was made worse by hyperempathy - whenever I felt I might have upset someone, hurt their feelings, or done anything they might find unpleasant, I suffered terribly, so controlling me was always as easy as warning me I would upset someone if I didn’t do exactly as I was told.
  • I always did my best to follow all rules and instructions exactly as they were explained to me, but often misunderstood because I didn’t catch the tone or implications of something. I was screamed at on a nearly daily basis for “refusing” to follow “simple directions”. I was constantly confused, constantly trying to do exactly what I was told, never understanding what I had done wrong. I learned not to trust my own instincts and to think of myself as inferior, stupid, lazy. There was a period of time I considered committing suicide in order to rid the world of my hideous presence, but (fortunately) I could never work up the nerve to do it because I didn’t actually want to die.
  • My sisters and I were all sent to a therapist after my parents’ divorce (when I was 5). I continued to see a therapist or counselor for many years after that, usually through the public school system. My mother frequently attended part of the sessions with me. Frequently, she would contradict me immediately after I spoke (or even interrupt) by claiming something was untrue, that I had made it up, that I had a history of doing that. You might think the therapists would believe their patient over their patient’s mother, but most of the time, they believed her. I was awkward and communicated strangely. I didn’t make eye contact, which they took as a sign that I was being dishonest. And my mother was good at playing the “loving and patient mother” around other people. She actively prevented me from being diagnosed with anything until I was 18, prevented me from getting any actual help, and prevented me from getting any accommodations, because she claimed I was being lazy and entitled.
  • She did the same thing with medical doctors. When I, at age 12, tried to talk to my pediatrician about sleep issues, she butted in and claimed that I slept fine (despite the fact I slept very little and was constantly tired). She did the same when I tried to talk to the doctor about depression and prevented the doctor from recommending a psychiatrist. When I was given medication (such as an asthma inhaler), she took it away and prevented me from using it. She claimed I was simply “being too sensitive” and needed to “toughen up” rather than relying on extra help, or, that old classic, that I was making it up for attention or “just being dramatic”.
  • Due to hyperempathy, I took the deaths of pets very badly. Having to look at or touch a dead animal could cause shutdowns, meltdowns, or panic attacks, as I automatically imagined how it would feel to be dead and was unable to handle the thought. My mother forced me to hold dead pets and bury them myself, then insisted I get another one. She always made me chose animals with short  lifespans so that I would have to face death repeatedly (this is by her own admission, as she proudly explained to me a few years ago - she thought she could make me stronger by forcing me to face death regularly).
  • When I was exhausted or overloaded, I was regularly forced into difficult situations, like going to a crowded shopping center or a party. I was not allowed to spend time alone. When I inevitably had a meltdown as a result, I was screamed at and punished for “throwing a tantrum” and embarrassing her in front of other people.

Again, this is a short list of examples from an entire childhood living with an abusive family. I could write a whole book about this, but this should be enough to get you started.

I am fortunate enough that I was never subjected to ABA therapy, and I was almost always verbal, so I never had to experience certain types of abuse firsthand (and can’t offer personal experiences as examples). We will have a post on ABA therapy soon where you can find more information.

If you decide to write a story with an autistic character who is abused, please do so with care. Rather than relying solely on the examples I’ve given, try looking for other sources. Please find at least one or two beta readers who are autistic and grew up in abusive households (sadly, they’re not that hard to find) so you can be absolutely sure you represent the experience fairly and accurately. All too often, it is seen as socially acceptable to abuse autistic children, because it is not seen as abuse: it is seen as a parent trying to teach a difficult child how to be normal. It does not work that way, and it causes a lifetime of psychological issues and trauma. Stories that show how wrong this is can be a big help in showing the general public that this behavior is not okay, does not work, and should be stopped.

And please, whenever you’re writing about topics like this, be sure to include content warnings somewhere.

Thanks, good luck, and happy writing!

-Mod Aira

hyperstorms  asked:

Promnis ;) - 'shit, shit shit shit,' Prompto screamed at himself internally, as he hit the send button on his phone.

Why do I always end up writing longer ones for you? (Not that I’m complaining at all. Please don’t stop. I love your prompts.) 

Have some pre-roadtrip boys being cute new boyfriends. 

Tagging: @ramtiger@promnispromise, and @yamadaharu (If you want to be tagged in future Promnis stuff let me know! XD)

Word count: 1,025

Shit, shit shit shit,’ Prompto screamed at himself internally as he hit the send button on his phone. His hands shook, cursed himself for his butterfingers, and swore to the Astrals shit like this only happened to him. Horrified, he stared at the message that he had been debating on sending Ignis for well over twenty minutes. At the time, he had thought he was being cute and coy by taking mildly provocative selfies on his bed in nothing but a pullover hoodie and boxers. Hell, he’d even tossed in a cute little caption. ‘You should keep me company ~ ;)’

Yes. Brilliant. He had the flirting capabilities of a teenage girl advertising her parents weren’t home to the hottest guy in school. Perfect.

…not that his parents were home, either.

Still, he hadn’t been sure it was a great idea to send something like that to Ignis. It hadn’t been that long ago that they’d even kissed for the first time, much less anything else, and most of what they did included Noctis. To be honest, he wasn’t sure he was really ready to be alone with Ignis in a more intimate setting, but telling him that now after sending him THAT…

Prompto sighed as his head hit the pillow and he buried his face in his hands as he groaned loudly. What the hell was he supposed to do now?

When the phone buzzed on his chest, he picked it up and almost immediately bolted upright.

Iggy <3 (9:51 PM):

On my way.

In a matter of seconds, Prompto became a track star, rushing about his room at breakneck speeds as he attempted to straighten up. No way was he going to let Ignis Neat Freak Scientia into his hell hole of a bedroom in its current state. Video games from two weeks ago when Noctis stayed over were shoved haphazardly back onto his shelf, and various photos and papers that were strewn across his desk were hurriedly stacked in one giant pile and pushed to the far side so that it didn’t look so mountainous. He simultaneously sprayed air freshener in his room (and out in the hallway for good measure) and hid his dirty laundry in his closet.

After a solid ten minutes of picking up after himself, Prompto stood in his doorway, hands on his hips with a proud grin. It wasn’t spic and span, but it would pass for tonight. At least, he hoped it would. The sound of the doorbell caught his attention, however, and he took a deep breath in an attempt to calm his nerves before bouncing down the hall to the front door. Leaning on his tiptoes slightly, he checked the peephole to make sure it was Ignis before he threw the door open with a too wide grin.

“Uh, heya!” he greeted, and stepped aside to let him in. Ignis smiled, though it seemed out of place for the mood somehow, and looked around. Even though it wasn’t the first time Ignis had been inside Prompto’s place, it was the first time they had been alone. The air about it was different somehow. Not bad, just…different. Prompto waited, watching carefully as Ignis seemed to try and find the right words, and he would swear that there was the faintest coloring of pink on the tips of his ears, but it was hard to tell in the dark.

However, he caught Ignis’s gaze, and realized far too belatedly that the light from the street lamp outside was shining just right through the window, and in all of his proud glory, Prompto was standing in his underwear with the front door open. He yelped and slammed the door shut, sending a frantic look at Ignis.

“I’m sorry! I got so distracted with cleaning up that I…and I even kicked the laundry into my closet and I could have at least put on a dirty pair of sleep pants and something oh em gee…”

And then Ignis barked a short, mirthful laugh, and stifled it behind the back of his hand. Prompto blinked at the sudden, beautiful burst of happiness that spilled from his lips. Yeah, that was adorable. Who knew?

“Apologies,” he said quietly, voice muffled, “I shouldn’t have stared.” A short moment passed before Prompto laughed, too, and he scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

“Nah, it’s okay.” He flashed him a smile, one that wasn’t forced and properly showed that he was maybe a little nervous about things, but it was an honest smile that came easily when Ignis was around. “I’m flattered you like the view.”

Ignis chuckled and set his bag down at their feet before tenderly brushing Prompto’s cheek. It was a nice feeling, Prompto decided, one that wasn’t demanding, nor particularly meant to entice, and he found himself leaning into it gently.

“I hope you know I don’t expect anything from you this evening, Prompto,” Ignis stated. “Wherever the night should take us, we will go.”

Relief washed over Prompto like a tidal wave as he exhaled slowly, not realizing he had been baiting his breath at all. He reached his hands up, hesitated, then placed his hands gently on Ignis’s chest. The steady thrum of his heart beat against his palm, and Prompto found a bit of reassurance knowing that his touch hastened the advisor’s pulse. Slightly bolder fingers curled into the crisp fabric of his dress shirt and tugged Ignis closer, and Ignis braced a hand on the wall by Prompto’s head as he leaned over him.

“No pressure?” Prompto questioned, though he teased him slightly, brushing the tips of their noses together. Ignis quirked his lips in a half smirk and closed the gap between them, his free hand wrapping around Prompto’s waist as they kissed slowly, testing the waters.

“No pressure,” he confirmed once they parted, “though perhaps we should move this somewhere more suitable?”

Prompto bit his lip cheekily and nodded, taking Ignis’s hands in his own as he led him to his half-cleaned bedroom. Maybe, just maybe, being alone with Ignis wasn’t going to be nearly as daunting as he had previously thought.

Send me a pairing at the first sentence and I’ll write you a drabble.

Current turnaround time: 2 weeks.

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First Sentence Drabble Master List

Paradise | 2

Overview/Summary: After one of her best friends goes through a bad breakup she’s not ready to discuss just yet, Riley is dragged along to an impromptu vacation in a tropical paradise. While her and her two friends are there they meet three guys who seem just as lost as they are. 14 days. 10 Rules.
Writers Notes: In this AU Farkle was never childhood friends with riley/maya + as always text in ‘italics’ are flashbacks. 
Rating: T/M  (Because cursing & also because I’m not going to restrict myself)
Previous Chapters: 1 
WordCount: 3,730
Playlist ]

❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀❀

Chapter Two: Thou Shall Not Be Reckless.

[ Last Night ]

“So Columbia, huh?” Lucas smiled, plopping himself down on the sand. The other four were still making their way up the beach when he decided he needed to take a break. Riley sunk down next to him, pulling her knees against her chest. “What was your major?”

“Journalism.” She answered politely, “With a minor in Anthropology.”

“Those seem like two very different things.” He chuckles, “Why Anthropology?”

Riley shrugs, “I don’t know… I guess I like people. I’ve always been a people person.”

A small smile falls on his lips, “Wow.”

“What?” Her face drops, suddenly very self conscious.

“It’s just… that was refreshing.” He laughs, shaking his head. “I’m so used to people being pessimistic y'know? Like everyone is always talking about how people suck and that they hate everyone. It’s just nice to hear.”

“As an eternal optimist I have a lot faith in humanity, sometimes a little too much.” She smiles, glancing at him quickly before looking back down at her hands. “Most people think of it as being naïve.”

“I don’t.” He replies without hesitation. “I think it makes you special.”

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keepmyserenity  asked:

Hi Mollz, can you please repost rainy days (in chateau d'if)?

sure! a throwback.

rainy days (in chateau d’if)

           Days between storms, the Ladies Association of Bright Colors holds parades. As they pass by the street outside they pop open their rainbow of parasols and shout curses at our house. They call us the Cat Thieves because of the way the neighborhood felines stage hostile takeovers of the apartment every time it rains. We’ve tried to explain that the pets aren’t invited and we’d prefer it if they stayed away, but once you get a reputation as a Cat Thief, there’s really no shedding it.

           The cats don’t like us, I’ve told the Ladies over and over, it’s the apartment they want. The apartment, with its tall, curved windows and deep-stained mahogany that you can hear moaning in the winter, soft and languid, smooth. The ratty, sea-green couch Sal inherited from his dead uncle, its insides all spilling out where the cats have ripped through the velvet; the ruined silver tea tray, cat hair embedded in all its cracks; the names of former tenants etched behind the loose paneling in the bathroom, letters harsh and curveless. I wouldn’t mind the cats so much if they didn’t use the dark wood of the walls and railings as scratching posts. Sal says the whole place looks like a prison, like all our ghosts have tried to claw their way out.

           My mother calls the apartment Chateau D'if. I’m not sure it can be a prison if all the occupants keep trying to get in, but Sal likes the name so much he made a sign for the door. APT 2D. CHATEAU D'IF FOR CATS.

 *

           I like to watch the parades. The Ladies make their own dresses, layers of sewn silk that are dyed deep and resonant with blues and greens and reds and yellows, colors mixing in the fabric like liquid, whispering around the Ladies’ legs and making them as beautiful and precise as the careful stitching. They look best without the parasols, with the sun sticky against their pale skin, their dark skin, mixing flesh with fabric until its hard to tell what was born and what was made. That’s when I like them best, but when they pass by through the Chateau D'if they push open the shade of their umbrellas and hiss, “Thieves! Thieves!”

           "We’re not thieves,“ I remind Sal from the balcony. He is eating a tuna sandwich. There is a soft drop of mayonnaise on the corner of his mouth. He shrugs. The Ladies Association of Bright Colors doesn’t bother Sal, except that they making driving impossible on sunny days. We always have to take the bus–an ungainly, purple, bovine thing that rumbles down too-small cobbled alleys like a child’s overloaded wagon, squealing and squawking every time the driver hits the breaks. The wheels have no tract whatsoever and we always slip when we hit puddles. It’s not so bad in the dry season, but once the cats start showing up with regularity I know to get a window seat and brace myself with my knees.

           "No,” he agrees.

           "We should just start closing the windows when it rains.“

           "Sure thing,” he says, and takes another bite.

           On sunny days like this, you would never guess about the cats. Sal is meticulous about vacuuming up the hair, about shoving the couch’s insides back where they belong. If it weren’t for the deep scars in the walls, even I might forget the way the cats wind around my ankles and barricade the door. When they come, they come in hordes, in legions; they don’t lie on the couch, they lay siege to it. We cannot cook because the cats are sleeping in our pots and curled up in the microwave. There are always at least three in the dryer, no less than two in our pillowcases. We find diced mice on the cutting board as if someone expects us to serve it.

           The purring might drive you crazy, if you didn’t become used to it, if you didn’t turn it into a lullaby. Sometimes I think that they are singing in harmony. Sometimes I think that they are whispering secrets to me, trapped safe in the place where languages meet and are incompatible. They watch us with their dark eyes, prowling in circles, shedding and coughing up hairballs, telling us all the things cats know, including that they know that we don’t understand them.

           "I think you’re overthinking this,“ says Sal around a mouthful of tuna. "Just watch the parade.”

           "I am watching the parade,“ I tell him, and the Ladies’ dresses fan out around them as they spin, whirring like pinwheels.

 *

           There is no official credo of the Ladies’ Association of Bright Colors. I thought they might be animal activists, the way they go on about the cats, but Sal says he read somewhere that really what they’re protesting is the rain.

           "How can you protest the rain?” I ask as the sky darkens and the first hum of a cat folding itself into the space between the window and the frame slips into the living room.

           "Ask the cats,“ says Sal, and laughs. I don’t know why he thinks it’s so funny. It’s Sal that can’t stand the hair everywhere, Sal that wakes up with cat bodies pressing him into the mattress, pinning his wrists. I sleep in the bathroom during the rain. The cats won’t touch the porcelain tub, for reasons they’ll only tell us in their untranslatable, rough tongues.

           There are four or five cats now, slinking their way along the walls, circling. This is how it always goes: a spiral from the wall inward, until they have reached the center of the apartment. We tried placing furniture in that spot, but it doesn’t deter them. The old wicker lampstand that we finally settled on is frayed and cracked, its paint chipping. It is held together as much by cat hair as by its woven strands.

           The rain comes faster and so do the cats, knocking over bowls and wrapping their tails around the legs of the furniture. They pay Sal and I no mind.

*

           When the rainy season ends, the Ladies’ Association of Bright Colors hosts a parade that far outshines all the others. The street seems to light up beneath them, gathering their reflections. They say that black is made from colors mixing, and today that’s true. Today black isn’t even black, just the reflecting of silk in sun-drunk pavement.

           I call Sal from the bus station. We spent the morning locating the cats’ owners and returning them. Now he is using Drain-O to dissolve hairballs and vacuuming under the couch. I can hear him munching on chips, probably sour cream & onion flavored because that’s all he’ll eat. The phone will have slick, grainy fingerprints on it when I get home, and I won’t be able to scrub the oil off. We’ll have to wait for the next rainstorm to come, because the cats lick off the grease residue with their tough, no-nonsense tongues and make everything sparkle.

           "Chateau D'if for Cats,” says Sal, laughing around a mouthful of crushed starch. “Nothing but open windows and unlocked doors, and still, no one can get out, not a single soul.”

           I hear him shove the vacuum under the always-bleeding couch, choking on lint and fur that has gathered on the rug. There are no cats left in the apartment but there are always the ghosts of cats, always the deep scars left in the wood where they have sharpened their claws.

           "Next rainy season,“ he says easily, "let’s try closing the windows.”

“It’s about time,” I agree. “Next rainy season.”

           But that’s the thing, you know; that’s what makes Chateau D'if Chateau D'if: neither one of us will shut the window. I can’t explain it to you, if you don’t already understand. I am not a Cat Thief and I don’t claw at the walls. I want to see the Ladies Association of Bright Colors without their parasols. But I can’t close the windows when it rains.

           It is a cat’s house. We just live here.

Your Wounds on My Soul

Summary: aka the angsty soulmate!au no one asked for
Pairing: Dazai/Atsushi
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence and Abuse, Some Mentions of Self-Harm
Notes: I want to give a big hug to @wishkki​ and @youraveragegamergirl​ for their support and encouragement.If it wasn’t for you I would probably never write this piece of trash.
Anyway, please pay attention to warning and enjoy my shitty fic

AO3


The legends say that when Zeus made the first human, it had two heads, four hands, four legs and two hearts. It was so strong that Zeus feared for his power, so he cut it in half. They cried for 30 days, day and night, because they couldn’t bear being separated from each other. At last, Zeus pitied them.

“You shall not become what you were,” he said. “but I will give you something that would connect you. Your scars and marks would appear on the body of your soulmate, so you can find each other through your previous pain.”

“But how can we find each other?” they cried, “The world is so vast and big; we might never be united.”

Zeus smiled: “you will find each other eventually. You might see each other on deathbed, or at young age, but be sure of one thing: once you have a soul mate, the whole world will make a way for you two to meet each other.”

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wishful thinking

“So now I need someone to write a Wayhaught Uber AU. Say, Nicole picks up Waves who just broke up with her meathead boyfriend and spends the night cheering her up.”

@jaybear1701 asks, and I have to deliver. Here you go, buddy!

Nicole had never been the type to be made uncomfortable by a lapse in conversation. But there seemed to be something about the girl currently sitting in her backseat that had her itching to open up and start babbling.

It’s just the hour, she told herself, glancing compulsively at the time displayed on her radio. Already well past eleven with at least another hour before she could collapse face-first into her bed.

She should’ve called it a night after the last ride. She had an alarm set for 5:30, after all. But there was still that pesky stack of bills currently sitting on her kitchen table, only a few of which she even had the cash to pay for.

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#15 Undercover

A/N: Hey guys! Here to deliver your daily (okay not so daily bear with me I’m doing the best I can) dose of Linstead. This turned out to be slightly different than I expected, but I’m quite happy with how it came out.

Prompt #15: Undercover - They were a good team.

Word count:  1,678

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The Signs as Self Love Tips

Aries: make a list of things you dislike about yourself.  don’t be hard or cruel to yourself, but keep it simple.  write down as many things as you can think of.  decorate this list with whatever you wish, using colors and objects that maybe you don’t like so much or that bring negative thoughts to your head.  now, in a very safe manner, make a fire and toss in the list.  watch it burn away all of the negative thoughts and energies.  after it is only ashes, create and decorate a similar list, but of things you love about yourself, and keep this one.

Taurus: make sure you feel comfortable in your space.  an important part of self-love is having an environment that makes you feel serene, happy, and healthy.  decorate your room (or whatever your safe space is) with colors and objects that make you feel good.  get rid of anything that holds bad memories or that you associate with your points of insecurities.  don’t be afraid to move things around and try a new feel for your space every once in a while.  arrange and rearrange until you feel completely wonderful in your space.

Gemini: write about yourself.  try doing so in third person, perhaps with a different name and identity as you.  however, give this person similar traits as you.  write about them, in any setting, going through a journey of self-discovery.  elaborate on their (your) good traits, and make sure they live up to your full potential.  take their (your) not-so-great traits (or points of insecurity) and write about how they overcome these, use them to their advantage, or learn to accept and love them.  try using what you wrote in your life.

Cancer: don’t be afraid to cry.  the idea that crying is a weakness is a social standard in today’s society, and there is actually much benefit that comes from crying.  read your favorite book, watch your favorite movie, hug your favorite stuffed animal.  gather all of the harmful thoughts you have about yourself and cry.  let all of those thoughts channel out through your tears, and visualize them leaving your body with every drop.  when you’re done, treat yourself to something you love and write down a few positive things about yourself.

Leo: every morning when you wake up, or every night before you go to sleep, look in the mirror.  stare at yourself, at all of your wonderfully human features and beautiful imperfections.  say “i am beautiful” (with variations such as handsome, pretty, gorgeous, good-looking, etc) three times, or write it down three times.  say it even if you don’t believe it.  you deserve to love yourself, and putting this self love into words, as well as associating it with your face/body, will help you come to realize what an amazing person you are!

Virgo: keep a self-love journal.  make sure to keep up with it, and once a day write a single thing you love about yourself.  make sure to include things about your appearance as well as personality.  after you have written your daily entry, say the words you wrote out loud to yourself.  say it as many times as you wish, as many times as it takes for the positive words to bring a smile to your face.  decorate this journal with colors, drawings, stickers, or other decor that makes you feel happy.  go back through the journal when needed.

Libra: do whatever you can to make yourself…you.  maybe you don’t feel comfortable wearing the kind of clothes, makeup, or accessories you like in public yet, so do it at home.  walk around with those new shoes or dye your hair temporarily.  look at yourself in the mirror and appreciate how you truly look like YOU.  perhaps try building up to presenting yourself this way in public, if you feel comfortable.  if you take a step toward feeling more confident and like yourself, whether in public or not, treat yourself to something you love.

Scorpio: do something nice for yourself.  try to think of something that you love doing, or experiencing.  think outside of the box, and make an attempt to do that.  if you can, try sharing it with someone else.  for example, take a friend to that art gallery you’ve been wanting to visit.  have fun, and get excited for this outing.  when you get back, find a piece of paper and write down all the things you did and how much fun you had.  afterwards, take a nap or do something to help you relax, and remember to breathe.  have fun.

Sagittarius: create a self-love jar.  cut up little pieces of paper, and on each piece, write something that you really love about yourself.  take a large mason jar (or whichever size you would like, really) and decorate it with ribbons, paint, stickers, or whatever you like.  choose your favorite colors and things that soothe you to decorate the jar.  place the pieces of paper in the jar, and put it somewhere that you can see it.  every time you’re feeling down or your self-esteem is low, pick out a piece of paper and read it out loud to yourslf.

Capricorn: take a bath.  fill up the tub with water, epson salt, bubble bath, a bath bomb, or whatever you like.  make sure the temperature is how you like it, and then relax.  you may be inclined to think about your worries and insecurities, but instead try to focus on listing off ten or more things that you love about yourself.  try to get as many as you can.  say them out loud if you wish, so that you can hear them, as well.  make sure to wash all of the negative thoughts off of your body during your peaceful bath.

Aquarius: meditate in your free time.  attempt to clear your mind of all thoughts, especially negative ones about yourself.  let those thoughts go, because they do nothing but weigh you down and make you feel heavy.  if you need, focus on your positive traits during your time.  use this medium of relaxation to learn to see yourself in a more serene, peaceful way.  potentially increase your acceptance of yourself and/or your body.  meditation also has many other positive effects, aside from self love, and can work wonders.

Pisces: practice art in place of self-hate, or practice art to celebrate self-love.  when you are feeling particularly bad about yourself, create a piece of art (whether it be a song, a poem, a sculpture, a painting, a drawing, etc) to release those negative feelings.  destroy it after you have made it, if you wish.  when you are feeling good about yourself, celebrate your happiness with a more loving, special piece of art.  with this type of art, you should either keep it to remind yourself how amazing you are or gift it to someone you love.

remember that all of these can be applied to anyone!  just because i classified a certain exercise under a certain sign does not mean it will only work for that sign.  i encourage you to try all of these!  remember to love yourself :)