i do not make pretty pastries

Teaching Newt How To Cook Would Include...

**Gif not mine**

Request:  Could you do a newt x reader where the reader tries to teach newt how to cook/bake? - Anon

I wasn’t sure how to fit this into an imagine, so I made headcanons instead!


  • Lots and lots of small burns in the beginning but you heal them with ease
  • Him being very thankful for it
  • Having to teach him what each knife is for
  • “No, Newt, that’s not a butter knife.  That’s a meat cleaver.”
  • “That makes a lot more sense.”
  • Queenie sometimes coming over to help
  • Making strudel with Queenie
  • Strudel being the first successful pastry Newt can bake
  • Sometimes Newt accidentally makes poisonous concoctions
  • The two of you being cute nerds and pouring magical potions onto muggle food to see what happens
  • E x p l o s i o n s
  • Pickett being very interested in what you two are doing but also kind of concerned
  • “WHAT’S HAPPENING TO THE POT!?”
  • “Newt, it’s just boiling.  Calm down.”
  • He once made the mistake of wrapping his arms around you from behind while he was watching you at the stove and caused you to burn your wrist pretty badly
  • Newt feels so bad about it for nearly a week
  • Having to remind him multiple times that you were okay and it was fine
  • Food fights
  • Having to check the Niffler’s habitat to retrieve stolen silverware
  • Jacob helps Newt with pastries and occasionally puts some in his shop
  • Newt becoming mediocre with cooking but pretty good at baking
  • He definitely prefers to bake, which explains the pile of cupcakes, cakes, cinnamon rolls, and muffins
  • You feed leftovers to the creatures
  • On your birthday, Newt, Jacob, and Queenie joined forces to bake you the most extravagant and delicous cake ever
  • It was all Newt’s idea
  • Now Newt helps you a lot when cooking meals
  • Always having some sort of treat to look forward to
  • Newt’s mother being utterly thrilled you taught her son how to cook
  • Since your father is a muggle, you know what Twitter is, so when you and Newt have cooking fails you’ll tweet Gordon Ramsay a photo of it.
  • (If you haven’t seen Gordon Ramsay’s Twitter it’s the funniest thing ever)

Please let me know what you thought of it!

Persona 5 Headcanon: Studying w/ The Phantom Thieves

Originally posted by kutout

A lack of P5 imagines here… And so, to begin finals week, I’m gonna take advantage of it. :P :3 I got you fam. [I haven’t finished playing through the game, so some characters might be shorter than others… I literally only just finished changing Madarame’s heart]

Keep reading

With You {Part 1}

Mark Tuan x Reader x Jinyoung
Genre: AU/Angst

Next Chapter

The summer heat filled the kitchen as you stirred the batter of the cupcakes you were making. Even with the windows wide open, no breeze came in and the air was filled with sweetness. With the back of your hand you dabbed at the sweat that had trickled down your neck as you mixed the batter with your other hand, the wooden spoon scraping against the metal bowl as you whisked away. The kitchen felt ten degrees hotter than it was outside as you had the oven running. You had made sure to put the icing in the fridge so it wouldn’t turn into a liquid goop while you waited for the first batch of cupcakes to cool. You were still readjusting to the LA summer weather. There were still boxes left unpacked in the living room, and pictures that needed to be hung on your wall. You were slowly starting to feel at home again since you moved back a month ago after five years. Your house phone rang, carrying the bowl of batter you walked over to answer it, still mixing on the way.

 “Hey mom,” you said as you continued to whip the batter, “I’m still working on the cupcakes for their anniversary,” you said tucking the phone between your ear and shoulder and making your way back towards the counter.

 “That’s good darling, I was just checking up and to remind you that it starts at 4:30.” You could hear your mom fiddling in the background.

 You glanced over your shoulder at the clock, noting that you still had a couple more hours before you had to start getting ready, “Don’t worry mom, I didn’t forget. I’ll be there with an armful of cupcakes.”

 “Okay, see you at their house later. Are you by yourself?” your mom asked.

 You starting lining the tin pan with more cupcake liners, “Yeah, Jinyoung and her are at the aquarium. They will meet us at their house later.”

 There was a moment of silence on the other line, “Mark is back you know.” Your mother stated.

 You froze as soon as you heard your mother say his name, “I thought he was supposed to be away in Asia?”

 “He’s here now, I’ve heard that he’s settling back in LA and running the operations from here. What are you going to do?” you could hear her concerned voice over the phone.

“We’ll only be there for a bit, just to congratulate them.” You said as you bit your bottom lip.

 “Okay dear, I will see you then.” your mother hung up the phone

 You removed the phone from you ear and placed it on the counter. He’s back. You ruminated over what your mom just told you. The feeling of your heart pounded rapidly against your chest and a pit started to form in your stomach. You suddenly felt too weak to mix the batter.

Both of your families were close since you both attended the same church growing up. He was at all of your family gatherings and you were at his. Growing up, any dance recital you had, his family would be there and Mark reluctantly came. You attended the same preschool, elementary school and high school. You could never remember your childhood without the Tuan family being apart of it. Both of your parents would push you and Mark together, being that you two were the same age, how perfect it would be for you two to be together. Of course as children you both were repulsed at the thought of being together, but after time, you and Mark became best friends. You’d walk home together after school, work on homework together at the library or each other’s houses, you’d call him when you were upset and he’d show up minutes later with your favorite snacks. You knew each other’s dreams, Mark wanted to run a business and you wanted to open up your own bakery. Then your friendship developed into more. Mark was the first guy you ever loved. He was your first boyfriend, first kiss, and first lover. Both of your families were supportive of your relationship and the time you were together was filled with sweet memories and young romance.  

You starting filling the cupcake liners with batter, it was Mark’s parent’s anniversary and when they found out from your mom that you were back in town they had invited you. They were hosting an outdoor celebration at their house. They had also asked if you could make cupcakes for their anniversary, reluctantly you agreed because you loved Dorine and Raymond, they were like second parents to you growing up.

 You remember the last time you saw Mark. It was his last year in College and you had just finished pastry school. He was stressed over his exams and you two barely saw each other. Whenever you did see each other, he was on edge and you felt like you were walking on thin ice around him. You were understanding though, he was trying hard to get into the Masters business program and obtain an internship for a company. He worked hard to achieve his goals and you tried your best to be supportive. The very last day you saw him, you had something important to tell him. You showed up at his dorm that night, however, he didn’t listen and brushed you off, “Jesus Y/N can’t you see I’m busy.” Mark ran his hands over his face as he stared down at the papers in front him. “Mark, it’s really important,” you said as tears had formed in your eyes. “Nothing is as important as this final that I’m studying for. Do you know how much stress I’m under?” he said pushing away from the desk.  “Mark,” you said reaching out to touch his hand. He felt the thin strand of control snap, he slammed his fists on his desk.  “My whole life rides on this last exam and this internship,” he finally looked at you, “Y/N I don’t think I can do this right now. I can’t balance school and you. We need to take a break.” His words back then had stabbed you right in the heart. You left his dorm, slamming the door on the way out not saying a word to him and he didn’t chase after you that night. Even after a couple days passed there was no contact from him. You were by yourself. Later that week you had told your mom everything that happened that night and how you were feeling. She mentioned how your aunt was busy with her café and needed assistance and suggested that you go for the summer. When you were at the airport before the flight you decided to call him, a woman had picked up, “Sorry Mark’s unavailable right now. He’s in the shower, may I ask who’s calling?”. Without saying anything you hung up, your heart completely shattered. You never saw Mark Tuan again. You heard stories from your mom about how he was doing and what he was up to, but it pained you too much to hear more. You never returned back home after that summer. You had developed your own life. You helped your aunt run her café and eventually starting baking and creating pastries. On the side, you had started designing wedding cakes. Eventually, the café became busier after word had spread of your pastries and it became the go to place for decadent treats. Your wedding cakes had been a hit that you even had to decline some clients because your schedule was full. Now that you were back in LA, you had hoped to build on your wedding cake business.

You added the final touches to the cupcakes, as it was their 50th wedding anniversary you had chosen red cupcake liners to match your vanilla cakes with a chocolate buttercream frosting. The color red was the significant color 50 years of marriage.

 “Perfect,” you said as you wiped your hands on the apron you wore. Now it was time to get ready, not only physically but mentally too. You weren’t sure how the rest of the evening would turn out.

 Mark pulled into the driveway of his parent’s house, the house that he grew up in. He entered through the front door, noting the streamers that were pinned against the railings as he walked through the house. There were chairs sprawled out everywhere, even more red streamers, a few balloons and as he walked towards the back yard, he couldn’t miss the big banner across the gazebo that read “Happy 50th Anniversary”. He was happy to be home after spending a couple years in Asia, he always considered LA to be his home. After interning at an international company, he had worked his ass off. Long nights at the office, travelling all over the world to set up client meetings. Eventually he had worked his way up to the fourth highest position in the company, and now he was in charge of running North American and the international operations. The back yard had tables spread out everywhere, white linen and silver cutlery were placed, and a white canopy was placed for shade.  His parents always knew how to throw a good party but he had a feeling his older sister was behind all of this detail.

“Mark! Thank god you arrived.” Tammy came bustling in, arms filled with flowers, “I need you to set up a table over there so guests can put their gifts. As well the caterers will be arriving soon so just open up the back gate for them when they arrive.” She directed as she placed some flowers into the vases for center pieces.

“Hi to you too sis,” he said as he started making his way over to set up the tables.

 “Also, underneath the banner in the gazebo I need a table there so that Y/N can set up her cupcakes.” Her sister said hastily, hoping to be as nonchalant as possible when she mentioned your name.

 Mark stopped what he was doing, “Y/N? She’s coming?”

 Tammy tried to remain busy as she adjusted flowers in the vase, “She moved back here, and mom and dad asked her to do the cupcakes. She’s a pretty popular pastry chef now, even does wedding cakes.” She glanced from her periphery to see if her brother would give any kind of reaction. When she glanced, Mark was busy setting up the table, he hadn’t even responded to her. She sighed, she could never tell what her brother was thinking and he never expressed how he felt.

 Mark remained quiet as he did the tasks Tammy had asked him too. He remembered the night he got upset with you and asked for a break. When you had slammed the door he had instantly regretting saying those words to you, but he needed to focus on school. All of his intentions were for the future he had planned together with you. The break was temporary; it wasn’t meant to be over. He remembered showing up at your doorway with your favorite flowers in his hand so he could apologize to you and beg on his knees for you to forgive him. Only to discover that you had left and went away for the summer. Your mom looked at him so apologetically, “I’m sorry Mark, she needed to go. She said it’s what’s best for you.” That is what your mom had told him, no explanation as to why you left so suddenly and vague answers when Mark had asked her what she meant by “best for him.”  He didn’t know how to describe the empty void you left him with. He was mad at you for leaving so abruptly without telling him or saying goodbye. He heard nothing from you  no matter how many times he tried contacting you and he waited for summer to be over so you would return to him. But you never came back. His mom was the one who broke the news to him that you had decided to stay and live with your aunt. What did that mean for your relationship? Had you two officially ended? For months, he despised himself for asking for a break, for treating you the way he did before that moment. It never occurred to him that he would lose you indefinitely. He didn’t just lose his girlfriend, he lost his best friend.

 Shortly after the caterers arrived, guests started to arrive. Mark was greeted by relatives and close family friends, but every time someone would walk in he would glance to see if it was you. He anticipated seeing your face, wondering if you still looked the same after all these years. He heard nothing about you. Even whilst in Seoul, he would do a double take if someone even remotely looked like you. He knew it was impossible but he still clung to the hope that he’d eventually see you again. He had reached his goals on a career level, but he was left unsatisfied. He didn’t have what his eldest sister had, a family of his own. He dated and had a few relationships, but he never offered any of the women anything more, only because he couldn’t picture a life with them, not the same way he had with you. As he was greeting his father’s golf buddy he saw you walk in and felt his heart jump to his throat.

 You came in wearing a white off the shoulder cocktail dress, it was simple but there were floral details along the bottom trim that added color. It matched the summer weather, he noticed that your hair was shorter than it was back then, cutting just above your collarbone. He stood from afar as he watched you greet people around you. He longed to be close to you. Had you always been this radiant? Mark wondered to himself. It didn’t occur to him how much had missed hearing your honeyed voice and fruitful laugh. Your smile that lit up your eyes was still the same as he remembered and he felt the jolt in his heart as you made brief eye contact with him. You still remained breathtakingly beautiful to him. He felt a deep sense of yearning, something he hadn’t felt in a while as he watched you make your way through the crowd.

 You noticed him out of the corner of your eye, panic washed over you as you tried to maintain your composure. He wasn’t the college student that you last remembered, not with him standing there in his dress shirt, his sleeves rolled up ¾ up his forearms, the first two buttons undone and khakis. He was exactly how you imagined him to look like when he grew up, your stomach formed in knots as you could feel his gaze on you. Piercing you as you moved through the crowd to say your hellos. You glanced at him and for a split second made eye contact before you turned your gaze away. You felt warm and not just from the summer weather. You felt magnified under his fixed gaze. Excusing yourself, you went to go grab the cupcakes from your car to set them up, all the while feeling Mark’s gaze on you as you left.

When you had returned, he was nowhere to be found. You laid out your cupcakes on the table, feeling a sense of relief as you now had time to collect yourself. Your mind was frazzled when you first saw Mark and after years of suppressing your emotions for him, just seeing him had the tiniest amount reappear.

 “Y/N…” you heard his voice from behind you.

 You knew you had to face him eventually. Taking a deep breath, you turned to face him, forcing a smile onto your face.  “Hi Mark,”

“It’s been a long time,” he said, trying to find the right words to say he remained silent.

As he opened his mouth to ask how you were he was interrupted, “Mommy!” a little girl with long locks similar to yours came running over and grasped your leg. You looked down and smiled as you brushed her hair away from her face “Hi baby,”

Mark’s mouth gaped open from what he was witnessing in front of him, the little girl that clung to your leg was a spitting image of how you looked as a child. Her hair was the same color as yours, she had your nose and when she looked up from you to him his heart clenched, she even had your eyes.

Just then a tall man came running over, “She bolted as soon as she saw you,” he said trying to catch his breath. “Hi sweetie, sorry we’re a bit late.” He leaned over and placed a kiss on your forehead.

The color rose to your cheeks, full of trepidation you looked up to see Mark staring at you, “Mark,” you stuttered trying to find your words, “This is my fiancée, Jinyoung” Your hands were shaking as you placed your hands on the child’s shoulders in front of you. “And this is my daughter.”

-

New Mark series on the way, be prepared for fluff and all the angst.

~Lea <3

{ five's company // ch. 17 }

tags: @toonerzchatz @promisesandmore @iamnotthrowingawaymyshit @itsallexmallory @itsallexwriting @impala-moose @jaydiggs1218 @fierydaemon @slightlysouless @jzzyjones@wiindmill@whitestorm547@hamilturnt@littleblue5mcdork @arostrolgy @mcgrammer15 @fanagelbagel @moonchildcharm @itsareyouforreal @sweaterkitty-fluff @theoverlordofeverything @laurenshtml @lawnmowerswig @lafeyettegunsandships @silvershadow56 @goldensabriel @kanadianwithashippingproblem @picklessfights @hamiltrash-life @sadeyestommo @dont-be-petty-be-peggy @thedevilopposedmyaddictions @chipslaylove  @spacenerd3 @onelastfic @zappyheart @mycroftswife @hamrevolution @alienboymax  @kbgw1233-blog @pretztato-cake

a/n: hello! i’m trying to get better at updating for this story. the goal is for a new chapter each friday. hope you like it!

t/w: implication of sex

inbox || masterlist


seventeen. 

“They’re very affectionate here.” You mumbled, looking around at all the couples who were openly holding hands and sharing sweet kisses. 

Alex managed a little laugh, swinging your intertwined hands gently. “You just noticed?” 

“Where do you think Laf gets his tenacity from?” John teased, making you laugh a little. 

“I never hear any of you complaining.” Laf scoffed, hands intertwined with Hercules’ as you walked down the streets together.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

could you make a list of your favorite paul headcanons, please?

- paul being born in december and then being made fun of as a kid for being the youngest in class is my personal fave bc i love when people drag paul he’s an asshole n i hate him 
- paul can’t braid hair for shit BUT he knows how to tie a pretty bow in claire young’s hair who always requests her hair bows be tied by him because “uncle p knows how to do it best” 
- his favorite pastries by yung e-money r her strawberry muffins topped w/ plain yogurt (this headcanon has made appearances in my kared one-shot and rach/paul four-part mini-fic) 
- he and jared r Best Buds and live to annoy Samuel Uley 
- he visits his mom in Tacoma often despite his dad’s annoyed protests 
- paul gets angry so often even he’s annoyed of his own outbursts but would never admit because he’s a Cocky Little Shit 
- PAUL HAD AN EMO/GOTH PHASE WHICH HE FLAUNTED ON MYSPACE (much to his current dismay) AND HIS IMPRINT NEVER FAILS TO MAKE FUN OF HIM FOR IT (said imprint’s phone wallpaper is 15 yr old paul with bangs and eyeliner with some awful caption like “who’s scared of the big bad wolf? >;D”) 
- paul’s actually rlly good at math,, specifically algebra 
- gets genuinely angry over the fact that alcohol has no effect on him anymore (except old quil’s moonshine that shit could fuck up a vampire if ingested) 
- has no idea what to do with little children (except claire young who is his Best Pal) that when he’s handed a baby he’s immediately uncomfortable and stiffly holds the child with an awkward face until it is taken away from him 
- WAS THAT ASSHOLE THAT NEVER GAVE BACK BORROWED PENCILS BECAUSE HE WOULD LOSE THEM 
- doodles shit in tests to piss off his teacher like an intricately drawn flower with a dick 
- is this stupid little shit: 

8

Cafe 1880

Location: 1186 rue St. Denis

Metro Station: Berri Uqam (or Champs-de-Mars)

If you read my previous post, you would know that I recently bought my Indie Coffee Passport. You would also know that my first stop using the passport would be Cafe 1880…

And here we are! Why did I chose this place as the first location? Partially by gut feeling and partially because it’s on my way to school. I haven’t heard much about this place other than from the passport. Which is why I wanted to try it: pure curiosity. 

My main fear when going here was its proximity to UQAM University. Although being close to a university is great for the cafe, as a cafe crawler I am always scared to show up and find 0 available seats. It’s the worst feeling when you’ve transited for a good 45 minutes only to find out even that little smaller-than-a-laptop table by the bathroom is taken. Especially, I was going to a cafe this morning mainly to work on a Lab Report and I would be “devastated” if I couldn’t find a proper seat to complete it. But I did. No excuse to procrastinate because this place was pretty empty when I walked in. 

I appreciated the seating arrangement here because they had 2 average sized tables with multiple chairs (YAS), many smaller high tables for two and a bar that goes along the window where you can enjoy sunlight. And they were close to plugs: essential when your laptop is old and dies in about half an hour. 

The decor of this cafe was exceptional. Mainly because they had drawn a caffeine molecule on the wall. I should get that tattooed to be honest. The atmosphere of the place is dark since the walls are black and has a few bright accents. One one of the walls, a huge “1880″ is painted in turquoise (like their logo). Gorgeous!

The coffee (AKA latte (I (always) order a latte (woops)) was delicious. Even my boyfriend loved it, and he hates lattes or coffee in general. Don’t worry, I still love him though (gotta accept each others’ flaws). The latte art was very well drawn and didn’t bubble up. If you think that’s a non important factor, please let me know how calm you stay when your latte bubbles before you even take it to your table and loses its prettiness and you can’t even take decent pictures. You won’t be calm. It bothers all of us. Or maybe just me, I don’t know. 

I decided to also get a croissant, which I never do but should because croissants are great and make me feel French (my priorities in life are amazing). A cool thing about their pastries is that they get them from Premiere Moisson, a well known chain bakery in Quebec.

All in all, I loved this location and will be back for sure! UQAM students - if you haven’t been here yet.. do you even go to UQAM?!

queer--pastry  asked:

for me honestly, i love how 'feminine' mettaton is in canon, while i do love him portrayed pretty much any way at all. I'm a trans guy and seeing his character male--to the point his pronouns changed, so we know he is male, and we know he's not just indifferent to his gender--but at the same time he wears dresses, and loves pink, etc etc--it sort of makes me really comfortable. to see a guy break those gender roles and not care. its just who he is and its as manly as everything else! i love him!

Yeah!! He doesn’t care about the gender roles attached to things like make-up, clothes, etc because… he’s a man! Nothing can change it! Because that’s what he is!

It also makes him such a strong character in that respect. He does what he wants and doesn’t care what others think. And you know what? People love him for it.

Nohrian Festival: Silas and Saizo Conversation Pt. 1 & 2

Silas and Saizo are my new official OTP. Here’s a rough summary of how this conversation goes: 

Pt. I

Silas: Do you think that Faceless have feelings?

Saizo: WTF man. 

Pt. II

Silas: You’re really nice. Wanna go on a date?

Saizo: I’m not a girl. 

Silas: Dude, don’t be sexist. Let’s go on a dessert tour. 

Saizo: I hate desserts. 

Silas: You’re cute when you blush. 

Saizo: I DO NOT BLUSH.

Silas: It’s a date, okay? I’ll wait for you. forever

Saizo: … Fine, BAKA. 

… No, seriously, that’s how it goes. 

Keep reading

So far I am adjusting pretty well to the whole dairy-free thing (apart from the fact that now all I want to do is eat icecream) but I’m still not used to thinking about what goes into things, and whether those things will make me sick. Like how my mum’s homemade apple pie has a crap-load of butter in the pastry, and will therefore make me lie on the floor with a stomachache for the rest of the night. 

anonymous asked:

"Meanwhile Taako is just stacking fucking pop tarts on Merle's head." I can see that being canon, how many books/pastries can you stack in your sleeping roommates. Merle has the record for most cookies on Magnus at 57

did taako bake the cookies or did they get them from fantasy costco bc on one hand i could absolutely see taako being like uh absolutely ill make cookies for this i gotta see this but on the other hand do you want to waste those little bits of heaven

5 things tag

i got tagged by @charliebarnesofficial thanks friend!!!!

5 things you’ll find in my bag
my phone
epi pen bc allergies suck
mint gum
my colored pens
random snack (usually cereal)

5 things you’ll find in my bedroom
art supplies (mainly watercolor / gouache)
a fuckton of plushies
my plants
some kind of cup for water / old snack im a mess lmao
my super soft big purple blanket

5 things ive wanted to do in life
learn photography
travel to europe / japan
dye my hair a fun color (my school only allows natural colors)
learn to bake pastries
go to more concerts i guess?

5 things that make me happy
my amazing friends
dogs
bastille
painting
pretty skies

5 things on my to-do list
…this is gonna be similar to that other list but
go to a garden and take pretty pics
hang out with my friends more
get better at painting
make sure my mental health isnt That Awful™️ 
clean my room

5 things that im currently into
glass animals
great british bakeoff
im finally watching star wars ur welcome
legend of zelda
actually trying to improve at art

5 things that people might not know about me
i do stage crew for theatre at my school
im a lefty it’s actually the worst
i used to do gymnastics, soccer, and volleyball 
i own like 30+ plushies bc im literally 6
i’ve never seen all of star wars and i’ve seen A New Hope once bc im the worst

i’ll tag @in-cold-bloodhangyouup @lethargy-grips-me @thingswelostinthefire @genericbastilleblog and @lemon-oliver !!!
 

Best Friends

Mystic Messenger Week 2016 | @mysticmessengerweek
DAY 10 x Tears

Characters: Seven, MC

Warnings: It’s depressing, Seriously depressing, Mutual Pining AU, Best Friends AU, Reset Theory, Long post, It IS safe for all ages

Keep reading

doumekism  asked:

22, 44, 35, 11, 42, 55 (such random numbers sorry)

thank you seyma ♥︎😘♡

11 - what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

already answered!

22 - are you a morning person?

i wish,,,,,,

35- do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

i do, but i don’t use them bc i feel like ruining them (does it even make sense?)

42 - do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

oh :’) 

my fave coffee shop is small but very warm. everything has a warm color and every table is decorated with flowers and there is the counter in which there are a lot of cakes and pastries. it is relaxing and calming and soothing but the best thing (which is not even a thing) is the cute barista who brings me the coffee and make sure to kiss me everytime i come jhsgfvjsdbvjdbfjv 

44 - when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

,,,,,,,,,can’t even remember lol 

55 - what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

oh lord, i think it was when my mom didn’t believed me i was sick and kept forcing me to eat so i told her fine watch me end in the hospital…  i ended having surgery the night of christmas, and you al should have seen how i called her out after my surgery, that was dramatic as heck 

HELLO FRIENDS! Does anyone shit themselves at the sight of yeasty gluten doughnuts? Do migraines bloom at the thought of a piece of regular white bread?

FEAR NOT BC NOW I FEEL YOU AND I HAVE LEARNED THE MAGICAL WAYS OF GLUTEN FREE COOKING BECAUSE SHITTING MYSELF OVER DOUGHNUTS IS NOT WORTH IT (ps i never really shit myself but it feels like i will if i keep at that gluten biz)

So here’s my fab recipe for gluten free churros with a side of cardamom cayenne chocolate sauce


~

Gluten Free Churros

serves: FUCK EVERYONE ELSE THESE ARE YOURS AND YOURS ALONE (but they techincally make like

~

Ingredients for dough-

  • 1 cup water 
  • 1 stick butter 
  • 1 pinch kosher salt
  • ¾ cup sweet rice flour 
  • 1 Tbsp baking powder
  • ¼ cup potato starch
  • 4 large eggs
  • vegetable oil for frying


Ingredients for sugar-

  • fuck ton of sugar
  • enough cinnamon for u to feel it


Ingredients for sauce-

  • ¼ cup heavy cream (plus more for thinning shit out)
  • 2 ½ cups bittersweet chocolate chips
  • ½ tsp cardamom
  • ½ tsp cayenne pepper
  • ¼ tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 Tbsp butter


~

Procedure for Churros-

  • mix sugar and cinnamon in a bowl and set aside
  • place water and butter in a sauce pan till it starts to simmer, once simmering, add salt, flour, powder and starch and cook till it becomes a thick dough and a film sticks to the bottom of the saucepan
  • Place dough in a bowl and mix that hoe like it owes u money (hopefully inanimate objects don’t owe u money or i would start getting worried tbh)
  • One by one, add the eggs until they’re all incorporated. While this mierda is goin on, start heating up your oil in a shallow pot thing, enough so that you can like deep fry shit.
  • Once the oil’s hot enough, take ur dough and throw it in a ziploc bag with the tip cut off. maimed ziplocs are the poor man’s pastry pipes. If you have a cool tip to make pretty churros, use that shit. Unfortunately, i have none so I just went balls to the wall and made that shit as abstract as a picasso pic. 
  • slowly squeeze the dough out into the hot ass oil and snip the end off with like scissors or something. If you send me anons complaining about how u got burnt I want you to take your computer and shove it up ur ass. I’d do it myself but my hands are too maimed from my horrific burn and cut scars. 
  • Fry dat shit till it’s puffed and a dark golden brown. You’ll know it’s ready when it’s like, mad light to pick up with your tongs. Once they’re done, take em out of the oil and plop those hoes into  your little sandbox of cinnamon sugar. Roll them around like the piglets they are and then let em chill. Repeat till all your dough is long gone and you have some cool burn scars to show your friends. 

-

Procedure for chocolate sauce-

  • Get your heavy cream heated up, then add your chocolate and stir till it’s melty. Add more heavy cream if u want it looser. Finish with the spices and butter. Bam. u done. 
  • Dip your churros in that shit and top it with sea salt for a banging experience.

~

YOOOO. THE LONG AWAITED CHURRO RECIPE IS OFFICIALLY HERE. So u guys should basically just all love me forever due to how awesome i am for giving you this lil blessing. 


aight so go on now, go make this biz. make me proud. all that jazz. 

anonymous asked:

Hello!~ Can you write about draco and his pureblood slytherin gf who lived in the muggle world as a kid living in the muggle world and his gf is teaching him the muggle way of life? Can you make it fluffy please? Thank you! (Sorry for my English >.<)

Title: Muggles?
Warnings: kissing, light smut, fluff
Rating: PG-13
Word count: 1657
(Y/f/m/s) - your favorite morning snack (coffee, pastry etc)
(Y/f/s) - your favorite snack (chips, pastry, veggies)

I hope you like this! If you don’t I’ll write another one…but I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. Sorry I haven’t been posting lately, I promise I will be. And don’t forget to send requests!
-s △⃒⃘ ⚯͛


“What exactly are we doing?” Draco whined as he rolled over in the bed. “We are going into the muggle world.” You said as you walked out of the bathroom from doing your makeup, “put these on” you said tossing a pair of black jeans, black tee shirt and a red flannel at him. He groaned getting up cursing under his breath. You slid into your maroon skinny jeans and black loose sweater. “Come onnnnnn you slow pokeeeee” you complained, you were super excited to get back into the muggle world that you missed dearly. Draco walked out of the bathroom seeming pleased with the outfit you picked. You both slid on black boots and headed out of your apartment. You made it to your car and directed Draco to sit in the passenger seat, “put on your seat belt” you commanded as you clicked yours in and started the car. He looked around him turning his head from side to side unable to find what you were talking about, you leaned over to his side and grabbed his seat belt buckling it for him, then kissing him on his cheek laughing as he started to blush. You put the car into drive and started backing out of the parking space you were in, “how do you know how to work this? Why couldn’t we just appirate? Why were you raised in the muggle world if you’re a pure blood?” Draco said thinking about each question carefully, you giggled shaking your head and glanced at the time, only 11:30 this’ll be a long day, you thought to yourself. “Well Draco I know how to drive cause I was taught, we can’t appirate because muggles aren’t used to seeing someone appear out of thin air plus you’re getting the full experience. As for why I was raised here, my parents were both doctors here in the muggle world trying to help anyone they could, so if someone was sick beyond muggle fixing they might use a bit of magic and create a miracle for them.” You explained your voice trailing as you concentrated on the road in front of you. Draco looked out of the window taking in all of the information you’d just given him. You reached over and turned the knob causing music to start playing throughout the car, Draco jumped and looked at you like a confused puppy. “It’s just the radio dear” he slowly nodded “OH MY GOSH” you squealed as your favorite song stared playing, “ I DONT UNDERSTAND IT, YOU DONT MESS WITH LOVE YOU MESS WITH THE TRUTH, AND I KNOW I SHOULDNT SAY IT BUT MY HEART DONT UNDERSTAND, WHY I GOT YOU ON MY MIND!” You practically screamed dancing the whole time, “this is weird” Draco muttered, “this is a great song” you retorted continuing to dance and and sing earning soft chuckles Draco every now and then until you arrived at your destination. It was a small coffee shop in the college town you lived in since you were attending. Every morning you stopped here to get (y/f/m/s), there was a line out the door just like every other day. You got out of the car and Draco followed as you got in line. “Why is this building orange?” He asked looking up at it, “really?” You said crossing your arms, “Have you seen the buildings in Diagon Alley?” Draco just sighed looking around. The two of you made small talk until you got up to the counter. “Hello, I’d like a (f/s)” you said smiling at the cashier who you could tell didn’t want to be here at all “I’ll just have the same” Draco Said dryly sensing her hostility. She sighed and went to the display case to grab them then you payed and walked it hoping to never see her again. “Come on we’re going to play laser tag!” You said running to the car your hair whipping behind you, “we’re going to do what?” Draco asked looking at you his eyebrows furrowing. “You’ll see” you said smugly smirking, you leaned over and kissed his cheek holding your lips there for a minute before he turned his head so your lips met, “you’re such a tease” he chuckled pulling away. You just laughed putting the car into drive.
As soon as you arrived at the building with neon stars painted all over it dracos mouth dropped. There were barley any other cars in the parking so you figured it would be easy to teach him. You walked in to the entry way with more neon paint and arcade games spattered about and led Draco over to the desk, “hello what will your code names be” said the girl while glancing at Draco. “I’ll be…(y/c/n) you said “umm…” Draco said scanning over the list “StarLord” he said confidently, you giggled knowing he only picked it cause lord was in it. The girl handed you your passes and you walked into the briefing room to put on your vests. “Ok StarLord” you said laughing “you just slip the vest over your head and use the gun to shoot at me on the little targets” you said demonstrating with your own, he nodded fastening his vest on. The doors opened and you ran through the maze leaving Draco looking confused as ever. You ran through trying to find a good hiding spot, as soon as you found a little corner to hide you shot everyone that passed including Draco. “YES!” You whisper-yelled as you shot what looked like a 6 year old several times. You did a little victory dance to celebrate until you felt your best viabrate indicating someone shot you. You spun in a circle noticing there was a little corner just behind yours that you could see perfectly. You shot blinding hoping to hit something, then a dark shadow ran towards you causing you to squeal. You ran but much to your avail you felt two arms wrap around your waist, “I always win” Draco whispered in your ear sending shivers down your spine. You froze for a moment before spinning around “save it for later” you whispered, standing on your tiptoes to reach his ear. You winked and heard the buzzer sounding to show the game had ended, you walked out pulling Dracos hand behind you. You walked out getting into the car and starting it to go to your final stop. “That was fun but I know a way to have more fun” he said with a smirk playing on his lips, you leaned over your lips almost touching “maybe later” you said in a bored tone leaning back into your seat leaving him shaking his head. “We’re going shopping” you told him keeping your eyes on the road, “I’ve been shopping before” he said stating the obvious, “I know but never in a mall helping your girlfriend pick out clothes” you said as a matter of factly.
You pulled in finding a parking spot amongst the many cars. You climbed out and started walking towards the mall Draco holding your hand, “ok so this is just a big building with a bunch of clothing stores in if. And I need a dress for that dinner we’re going to on Friday” you stated as you walked in the big doors revealing all of the stores. “Great” Draco said sarcasm practically dripping from the words. You guys went in almost every store before you found a dress you fell in love with. “Ok sit here” you told Draco pointing to a bench outside the changing room. He did as told and you went in slipping on the right red sequin dress that came just above your knee and was a high neck halter. You spin around in the mirror looking at yourself then decided to show Draco. “So” you said doing model like poses in front of him “what do you think?” He looked up at you his jaw dropping “wow” is all he managed to get out “you look stunning” you felt a hot rush go to your cheeks as you could tell they turned red. “Yes, but I have a feeling it would look better off” he said smirking once again, you grabbed the hanger from the hook in the dressing room and smacked him on the head laughing, then walking back in to change. You quickly payed then walked out of the mall the tension growing by the second, as soon as you reached the car and got in he grabbed your face and kissed you passionately. You pulled away causing him to pout and started driving home. You quickly grabbed the bag with the dress and sprinted inside Draco laughing trying to catch up, “catch me if you can!” You yelled back dropping the bag on the floor of the apartment. You ran upstairs and grabbed your wand from in your purse as you slowly crept around the corner out of the bedroom looking for him your wand ready. You peered out of the room and heard a slight crackle behind you. Figuring it was the wind against the window you ignored it then arms quickly grabbed your waist and lifted you up spinning around “I caught you” Draco whispered in your ear. You spun around to face him your lips immediately connecting Into an intense kiss. He shut the door with his foot and pushed you up against it. “Jump” he said in between kisses you did as you were told and jumped wrapping your legs around his torso as he grabbed your butt causing you to gasp. He walked over to the bed and threw you down climbing on top of you and continuing the kiss. “I had fun today” he whispered into the kiss “I love you” your breath hitched your throat before breathily saying “I love you too”

Hi everyone! Sorry I haven’t updated at all as to what I’m doing with my life right now. I’m back in Perth after my surgery, but I have had countless problems, very little sleep, seratonin syndrome, etc etc. Plus problems with the surgery site, my mind has just been a mess. I plan on doing two things once I’m back in order for drawing , one of which is so a slight redesign on Icarus to make her more unique and interesting, and I also have a new OC design I will draw named Butter Crisp, a pastry sweets pony.

I’m still bed ridden 99% of the time, and getting out of bed to do much at all is very hard. Obviously I need to do my medical post op care and go to doctors appointments, but besides that, I’ve spent a total of 4 hours out of bed in the last month.

My healing is going pretty well, everything is heading in the right direction, but I have had a few complications for which I will be hopefully fixing in my surgery tomorrow. My mood has been sufferingn horribly and I haven’t been able to stop crying at stupid things for the last three days, like mismatching socks. I don’t even care of my socks match!

Oh yeah, I’ll also be going to the hospital for some corrective surgery tomorrow morning. Hooray.


I fucking hate hospitals :/

Domesticating Kitty

I heard there was a need for fluff fiction right now, and I can totally get behind that (since it completely got me through the post-election horror).  Have some unedited, plotless Marichat.

AO3


It was probably luck that brought him to her that night.  Luck that opened her eyes to really see what was needed.  Luck that made it easy for her to make the most important decision in her career as Ladybug.

It was a clear Friday night in October, cool enough to need a jacket up on her balcony, but warm enough her fingers still worked without gloves. Though Marinette still had nearly two years of school before university, it wasn’t too early to start her portfolio.  Since she was hoping she might fit in a seasonal internship or work experience at one of the smaller boutiques to strengthen her application, she actually felt a bit behind.  Like her alter ego, she was a planner, and she’d gotten much better at pushing aside the panic of being overwhelmed.  She strategized, shuffling all her other activities and responsibilities around to set aside one weekend every few months just for designing.  

She stared out at the dark Paris skyline, hastily sketching inspiration from the city she loved.  The deep plum and navy, broken up by the warm yellow glow of lights shining through windows, gave her a color scheme she was excited to work with.  Unfortunately no designs sprung into her head fully formed.

As she alternated between her drawing and the source material, she caught the familiar scrabbling of claws and light thump of feet over rooftops.  She glanced up just in time to see Chat Noir leap from a neighboring building to her rooftop.  He met her eyes, looking a bit surprised, before his momentum took him over the edge and out of sight.

“Chat are you okay?” she called on reflex, surprised enough by his uncharacteristic lack of grace to be concerned.  Her kitty could handle a fall, but that didn’t mean she liked it.  She grimaced, realizing that Marinette shouldn’t be as casual as Ladybug was with him.  "Chat Noir?“

Keep reading

Pastry Fish

This was one of the odder FFXIV recipes I’ve tried! Who would have thought to shape an apple pie pastry like a fish? Not to mention saffron, raisins, almonds… an unusual filling. However, the saffron gave the apples a lovely golden color, and the raisins and almonds kept the apple-pie-like filling from being too cloyingly sweet. Whoever designed the Pastry Fish knew what they were doing! 

I am like, the opposite of an artist, so cutting a fish out of dough was quite difficult for me. I am sure that my talented followers could do a better job of making a pretty Pastry Fish than I can~ Also, I think I scored my fish too deeply, as the dough split slightly on the top during baking. 

However, the fish was delicious, and I will definitely use this filling again, maybe in a traditional pie. It reminded me a little of eating a big cinnamon Pop-Tart, except enhanced with nuts and raisins and maple. Just heavenly. 

Pastry Fish!

2 prepared pie dough sheets (or substitute your own favorite pie dough recipe!)

2.5 tbsp butter 

2 red apples, peeled and cored (I used 1 Fiji and 1 Honeycrisp)

2 oz raisins

A handful of slivered and blanched almonds

¼ cup maple sugar 

¼ tsp cinnamon (more if you’d like!) 

~15 strands saffron

Pinch of salt 

1 large egg 


Slice the applies very thinly, then melt butter in a saucepan over medium heat. Add the apples, raisins, almonds, maple sugar, cinnamon, saffron, and salt and let it cook until the apples are soft and golden, stirring occasionally. Reserve one large raisin for the next step. 

Cut two large fish shapes from your dough. If you make one a teensy tiny bit bigger than the other, it will make putting the fish together easier! Figure out which one is most attractive looking and score a # in it very lightly with an edge (I used the end of a spoon) – this will be your top layer. Spoon filling into bottom layer of the pastry fish, leaving about a half inch of dough all the way around. Beat the egg with a tablespoon of water in a small bowl to form an egg wash, then brush the egg wash all around the edge of the fish. Carefully place the top layer on, then pinch all the way around to seal the edges. Brush the fish generously with the egg wash, then place your reserved raisin on the fish for the “eye.”

Bake the fish at 350 degrees Fahrenheit on a parchment paper-lined baking sheet until the dough is golden brown and cooked through, about 35-40 minutes, then let it cool and enjoy! 

P.S. I had leftover apple mixture and leftover dough, so I lined a little ramekin with dough, filled it with apple mixture, and covered it and baked it too. I must say, this was just as tasty and WAY easier than trying to cut a fish shape and free-bake it! If I made this again, I would probably just make it in ramekins!