i do love me some tight pants

anonymous asked:

hey you obvs don't have to but if you're still doing those au things maybe one for jooheon?? literally anything I just love him so much ((also love u so much u r an angel))

  • professional dressage rider!jooheon
  • talks to his horse like it’s his best friend
  • “listen to me pot of honey,,,,,,we are gonna crush the other team,,,,,,,i don’t care about how good wonho and starry night look, we are gonna get first place!”
  • looks really good in the tight riding pants, long boots, and blazer,,,like a prince,,,,,
  • unlike some other riders who hand their horses off to assistants in the stable after shows, jooheon spends time taking off the saddle and brushing pot of honey’s mane
  • and he actually loves all the horses, he doesn’t leave the stable until he has to go out for photos or something
  • whips are allowed in most competitions, but jooheon barely ever carries one. he really doesn’t like them
  • you’re working on someone else’s horse, brushing it and getting it ready for the show when you see jooheon come in still in costume
  • and you’re like oh he’s here to drop off his horse??? but then he starts tying up the horse to get the saddle off and you’re like ,,,,he’s gonna do all this work????? still in costume?????
  • and you go over and you’re like “i can take care of your horse-” and he’s like “no problem, i love doing this myself!”
  • and you can’t help but watch him because not a lot of the professionals wanna deal with the stable,,,,,like it doesn’t smell the best and it’s not easy work to take care of a horse
  • but then you see jooheon smiling, petting his horse and even whispering to it
  • and you’re like,,,,he’s so,,,,,,,,,cute,,,,,,,,,
  • but you’re like don’t stare!!!! you’re just a lowly stable hand
  • but then jooheon comes over and he’s like “i have some extra grain, is it ok if i give your horse a treat??” and you’re like they’re not mine,,,,but i think the horse would love it
  • because she’s already nipping at jooheon’s elbow and he grins and puts his hand out 
  • and you smile because he looks so happy around the animals,,,,,just like you,,,,,,,and jooheon asks about your job and stuff
  • and you’re like “the stable is my favorite place, that’ll never change.” and jooheon is like “i know i should say i love the performance space, but,,,,,i love the stable too.”
  • and you guys laugh with eachother and it’s cute jooheon is like 
    my group is performing again at 5, you should come and watch if you can
  • and you’re like,,,,ill try to sneak away from work for a bit
  • and jooheon leans forward a bit and he’s like “you’ll be my goodluck charm this time around, right?”
  • and you blush like oh,,,,,and he kind of stutters a bit like i!! didn’t mean,,,,,to be ,,,,,weird
  • but you’re like no no no it’s fine ill totally try to watch you and cheer you and honey on!!!
  • jooheon grins but as he turns around he’s clutching the front of his blazer because,,,,,,,,,,cute stable hand??? making his heart beat?????? what is this???????
  • his horse, pot of honey, makes a noise and jooheon is like “did you just tell me im having a crush?” 
Late At Night - Slash

Originally posted by gunsnrosesappetite

Pairing; Slash x Reader

Words: 500+

Request: hi ! could u do a slash imagine, where u r both dating and he comes home late at nigh, drunk, were not really surprised but u help him get ready to go to sleep, so u help him get into something comfortable… get to bed.. u stroke his hair and he’s all sleepy but horny and he’s being rlly sweet… idk as long as it involves slash and u late at night im pleased… thank u!                                 

Warning: none.

Category: Fluff

A/N: Better late than never :)


I sighed when a, clearly, drunk Slash walked through the bedroom door. Stumbling and mumbling incoherent words, his hair messy and smelling like dried beer and cigarettes. I got out of the bed, yawning and stretching my arms, unimpressed by his state.

Once he noticed that I was making my way towards him, he stumbled backwards into the closed door, hitting his back, groaning in pain as I shook my head.

He let himself slowly fall down the door, with his back still pressed against it, until he was sitting on the floor with his knees touching his chest, his hands going to cover his eyes and his hair falling on his face.

I furrowed my eyebrows at the scene and got on my knees, my hands getting his hair out of his face.

“Hey” I said, my voice low, “what’s wrong?”

With his hands still on his eyes, he shook his head; He looked like a toddler that had done something wrong.

“It’s okay, you can tell me later if you want” I told him, “why don’t I help you get some sleep?” I offered.

He quickly took his hands off his eyes and his brown orbs lit, almost as if I had just offered the key of life. “You’d help be do that?” he asked in disbelief.

“Yes love” I smiled softly, “You really mean it?”, I laughed a nodded, standing up and sticking my hand out for him, he held onto it and stood up.

“Take you clothes off babe” I told him.

A few minutes later and with some help, he finally made it out of his tight leather pants, standing naked in front of me, “You should take your clothes off too” he suggested while rubbing his eyes, a little yawn escaping his lips.

“You think?” I raised my eyebrow, getting a nod from him.

Complying to his request, I took my sleeping shorts and shirt, along with my panties, taking his hand in mine, leading us to the bed.

We laid down facing each other, our legs intertwined and our chests barely touching. His arm clumsily pulling me closer until my chest was pressed against his, hiding his face on my neck as my fingers played with his curly hair, his tracing patterns on my upper back.

The thin sheet was covering our naked bodies while we laid hugging each other without saying a word, we held each other as if we were both a delicate flower, he placed sweet chaste kisses along my collar bones and neck, leaving one last tender kiss on my lips before letting his tired eyes finally rest.

I couldn’t for the life of me figure out how Redemption Arc Raditz would be able to fit his massive hamstrings inside a pair of jeans.

Then I quick realized, “if you lived your life without needing to wear pants, why would you do it now just because of some dumb earth custom?”

So, introducing Raditz’ new-found love for tight cutoff jeans. It’s a compromise we can all get behind, really.

Harvey Dent Imagine

Originally posted by matthewdadarioh

Requested: “Daddy Harvey Dent with anxiety little reader!” by Anon

Harvey Dent x Reader: Fluff/Smut

Warnings: Daddy Kink, smut

I’m sorry this took so long to post, I’ve had a really shitty week but I promise I’ll have lots posted this week and next, thank you for being so patient and sticking with me. <3

Keep reading

My gym partner, Chris, and I were friends for a while now. We’d met at the gym about two years ago. He was already a hunk when I started there. Since then, I gained some extra pounds of muscle, thanks to him. He’s been kind of my personal trainer.

Throughout this time, all the workouts and training sessions together made us really good friends. We’d watch sports games together at each other’s house, go to parties, concerts, etc. We were so close that I began to feel attracted to him. I loved how he helped me in the gym with lifting weights and how to better position myself doing crunches. And I loved when he’d put on those tight lycra spandex pants that highlighted his beautifully shaped legs and butt.

However, I didn’t have the courage to come out to him. I mean, he was my best friend and if I ever was to say how I felt about him, perhaps he wouldn’t understand it, and our friendship could be at risk. And I didn’t want to lose that.

A couple of weeks ago, after work, I went to the gym, as I did every day of the week, except for the weekends. Chris and I met there, as we did daily. Just a another normal day. The workout session turned out to go pretty well. In fact, so well that we both completely forgot about the time, until the guy who’s responsible for the gym said we needed to leave because it was 11.30pm and the gym was about to close.

After we showered and packed all our things, we headed out and I asked Chris whether he wanted to sleep in my house. It was late, he had to get the subway and then the bus to get home, and I just thought that didn’t make any sense. Besides, he’d already been to my house many times. This would be the first time he’d sleep in it. No big deal!

On the way home, I told him I had to go to work really early in the morning, so I said what I always said: “Mi casa es tu casa”.

The next morning, I woke up at 6am and I headed downstairs over to the kitchen to grab something to eat. In the way, I stopped by the living room to see him. He was lay down on the couch as deeply asleep as one could.

I decided to lean in and kiss him on the cheek, whispering the words “I’ll be back soon, beautiful”. And I went to work.

At 3.15pm, I headed back home earlier than I expected. I opened the door and went “Chriiis, I’m home!”. Complete silence followed. “Chris?”, I started asking repeatedly, after checking the living room, the backyard and bathroom. When I walked in the kitchen, I saw him as he was in the picture above. As soon as I looked down to his perfect highlighted butt, my penis started hardening. That was hot as hell!  

- “There you are! Didn’t you hear me? I called your name like 20 times!”, I said half joking, half seriously. He didn’t move an inch. He wasn’t facing me so I walked around the kitchen counter to face front him.

“Chris? Chris? Are you alright?”, I asked while waving my hand in front of him. He was just frozen in place, staring blankly at the window. No movement, no shivering. Nothing. As I was reaching for my phone to call 911, I started hearing whirring sounds near me. They got louder and louder, as if something was about to turn on, like an electronic appliance or something.

Then I realized it was coming from Chris. “What the f…?”, I thought. I leaned my body close to his torso, and I could really hear those sounds. “What the f… is going on!?”, I thought again. All of a sudden, his eyes started to blink fast, his head, which was right-turned, headed front.

- “Diagnostic complete. All systems fully functional. Reinitializing systems”, he said with a deep robotic voice.

“Diagnostic? Systems fully funct….You’re a robot!?”, I said to myself. It was a weird feeling. I was surprised. This was the last thing I expected. But, at the same time, I felt really turned on. I had a robot-fetish, what could I do? No one knew that, not even him.

Then, he sort of woke up and saw me there.

- “Oh hi there, Cody! You’ve come home earlier, haven’t you?”, he said as if nothing had just passed.

- “Hum, yes, I…hum, Chris, are you a robot?”, I finally asked.

- “What? Why would you ask that?”, he asked laughing, almost making a fool of myself.

- “Because I’ve been standing here for minutes watching you saying things like Diagnostic complete. All systems fully functional! Is this a joke?”

He then closed his eyes and his head slumped down a bit. This probably lasted 5 seconds.

- “Oh come on, Chris! Quit f..*# with me!, will you?”, I said feeling upset.

His head straightened up again and he opened his eyes again. He proceeded:

- “So, you figured that out, hum? I’m not a robot, I’m an android, who’s…”

- “Whatever!”, I interrupted a little bit angry. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

- “Because we are not programmed to reveal our robotic nature until it gets discovered. As I was saying, I am a companion android, unit Chris-XY, designed to befriend someone we think will help us better interact with humans. I chose you.”, he explained.

- “Wait a minute..So everything we did, every feeling you might have is pre-programmed? Simulated?, I asked

- “No, definitely not! I am a sentient android. That means I have an A.I, which is the robotic term for soul. I have my own personality, my own character. And I chose you, because I liked you. I like how you are.”, he said sincerely.

- “Well, hum….we, I mean….”, I stammered, as I processed all those things.

- “I know this is a big shock to you, but soon or later, you’d have to find this out, one way or another. And, yes. I know you like me more than just a friend.”, he added.

- “Oh, well, hum…you know…that’s not really….”, I stammered even more this time.

- “You don’t have to say anything. We are companion units, so we are experts in analyzing how people look at us. In fact, I know everything about you. Every time I came to your house, I accessed your pc and it was very easy to discover you have a robot fetish. And I think that really helps our situation here, because many of my android colleagues don’t continue their relationships, once their true nature is revealed. But I guess that won’t be a problem here, am I right, Cody?”, he said with a final perky smile.

- “Huuum, I..you know…I guess not.”, I kept stammering.

- “So, I’m judging by the size of the bulge you have down there, you may want to get upstairs and have some fun. What do you say?”

- “Hum, sure! Of course!”, I exclaimed, after eyeing down to see my penis wanting to get out of those pants, as I realized my dream of having a robot companion had finally come true. This was not a dream!

- “There’s only one last thing before we move ahead.”, Chris said smiling.

- ”What’s that?”, I asked curious.

He then stopped smiling, his face turned numb and he robotically said:

- “Sex mode activated”.

After that, his smile came back, he lifted me with his strong arms and took me upstairs for an afternoon I’d never forget.

The Absence of Rice and Bridesmaids by Essex Hemphill

Mother do you know I roam alone at night, wearing clothes tight pants, chains of gold. Searching for men willing to come back to candlelight. I’m not scared of these men though some are killers of sons like me. I learned there is no tender mercy for men of color, for sons who love men like me. Do not feel shame for how I live, I’ve chose this tribe of warriors and outlaws. Do not feel you’ve failed some test of motherhood. My life is born fruit no woman could have given me anyway, If one of these thick lip, wet black nights while I’m out walking. I find freedom in this village, if I can take it with my tribe I’ll bring you here, and you will never notice the Absence of Rice and Bridesmaids.

Pick up line starters/list

·       “You’re the hottest thing since sunburns.”

·       “You’ve been a bad boy! Now go to ‘my’ room.”

·       “I lost my teddy bear. Will you sleep with me tonight?”

·       I am not feeling myself today, can I feel you?

·       “I am feeling a little off today. Would you like to turn me on?”

·       “You know sweetie, my lips won’t just kiss themselves. Please help.”

·       I wish you were DSL so I could get high-speed access.

·       Your body is a wonderland and I want to be Alice.

·       POOF! (What are u doing?) I’m here, where are your other two wishes?

·       Is that top felt? [No] Would you like it to be?

·       Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

·       I hope your day is as radiant as your smile.

·       You make me melt like hot fudge on a sundae.

·       I may not be a genie but I can make your dreams come true

·       Are you a magnet cuz I’m attracted to you

·       Are your pants on discount? Cuz if you were at my house they would be a 100% off!

·       Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can really see myself in them.

·       I’m not Fred/Wilma Flintstone, but I’ll make your bed rock

·       They say milk does the body good, but damn, how much have you been drinking?

·       Did you hear the latest health report? You need to up your daily intake of vitamin me.

·       If looks could kill you would be a weapon of mass destruction.

·       Are you a cupcake? (No….why…?) Cause you probably taste really sweet!!!!

·       Say, that’s a nice [dress/outfit/article of clothing]. Can I talk you out of it?

·       That dress looks very becoming on you. Of course, if I were on you, I’d becoming too!

·       I’ve just received government funding for a four-hour expedition to find your G-spot.

·       The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.

·       Try me once and if you don’t like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? It’d be more if you want foreplay.

·       That’s a nice smile. It’d look better if it was all you were wearing!

·       The best part of me is covered up.

·       They say a girl’s best friend are her legs. But even the best of friends sometimes have to part.

·       This Valentine’s Day, I really want you to know how I feel…..So you better use both hands.

·       Wanna play house? You be the screen door and I’ll slam you all night long!

·       Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?

·       With one touch I can make you make noise only dogs can hear!

·       What’s better than roses on a piano? Tulips on an organ.

·       Like the hurricane said to the coconut tree; hold on to your nuts I’m gonna give you the blow of your life.

·       Do you train cats? (Man: No, why?) Woman: Because you just made my pussy cum!

·       Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under

·       If you’re naughty go to your room. If you wanna be naughty go to my room!

·       Roses are Red; Apples are Sour; I’ll Spread my legs; And you can show me your “power”

·       You look like my type: nice hair, beautiful eyes, amazing body, but there is still just one problem: your clothing. (What’s wrong with my clothing?) They’re still on.

·       Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in-between your legs?

·       Can I please be your slave tonight?

·       Do you know what’d look good on you? Me.

·       Help the homeless. Take me home with you.

·       How do you like your eggs cooked? Why? Well I just wanted know what to make for you in the morning!

·       I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?

·       Pardon me, but are you a screamer or a moaner?

·       That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed.

·       Which is easier? You getting into those tight pants or getting you out of them?

·       Why don’t you come over here, sit on my lap and we’ll talk about the first thing that pops up?

·       Would you be my love buffet? So I can lay you out on the table and take what I want?

·       Your legs look cold. Do you want me to warm them up?

·       Hey, kitten. How about spending some of your nine lives with me?

·       Hey baby there’s a party in my pants and you are invited!

·       If you were a car, I wax you and ride you all over town.

·       Your belt looks extremely tight. Let me loosen it for you.

·       I’ve been a bad boy/girl, so spank me!

·       I heard your ankles were having a party… want to invite your pants down?

·       Let us pretend my pants are France and invade them.

·       I’m easy, but it looks like you are hard.

·       I wanna take out your pencil and stick it in my pencil case.

·       You know, I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.

·       Hi. I’m like a tropical island: hot, wet, and waiting for tourists.

·       You’re on my list of things to do tonight.

·       Do you work at Subway? Because you have a footlong.

·       Did I mention that I’m the only person in the Guinness Book of World’s Records actually able to suck a golf ball through a garden hose?

·       You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?

·       You remind me of a Twinky: Every time I bite into you, you cream in my mouth.“

·       I’m a vegetarian but I’d make an exception for your meat!

·       Are you a god? (Um, no.) You’re not? Then why do I want to kneel before you?

·       I’d love you like a snowstorm: I’d give you 8 to 10 inches and you wouldn’t be able to leave the house for 3 days.

·       So you think I am full of myself? (Yes.) Would you rather I be full of you instead?

·       Did you just throw a water balloon at me? Because you’ve got me all wet.

·       Did you know that you can feel your pulse in your groin? Want me to test it on you?

·       If you were aspirin, I would take you every four to six hours.

·       If you were a drum, I’d bang you.

·       So… if I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

·       Let’s play Deathly Hallows, you can take me to your bed and I’ll Slytherin.

·       If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?

·       Forget that! Playing doctor is for kids! Let’s play gynaecologist.

·       I wanna floss with your pubic hair.

·       I’m on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?

·       Did you have lucky charms for breakfast? Because you look magically delicious!

·       I’ve been wondering, do your lips taste as good as they look?

·       Are you a light switch? 'Cause you turn me on!

·       Hi, I am your slave, take me home and mistreat me.

·       I’m drowning in the sun and need mouth to mouth now!

·       If I was a Jedi, would you be my force?

·       I’m going to need a tall glass of cold water, cuz baby your making me HOT!

·       Look him/her up and down and say "And I thought it was hot outside!”

·       Do you smoke? [No.] Then why are you so smokin’ hot?

·       Kissing is a language of love, so how about a conversation?

·       Are you an interior decorator? 'Cause when I saw you, the room became beautiful.

·       Are you religious? 'Cause you’re the answer to all my prayers.

·       I’m not drunk, I’m just intoxicated by you.

·       I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes.

·       If beauty were time, you’d be eternity.

·       If I were a stop light, I’d turn red everytime you passed by, just so I could stare at you a bit longer.

·       You know I’d like to invite you over, but I’m afraid you’re so hot that you’ll skyrocket my air-conditioning bill.

·       My buddies bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the most beautiful girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?

·       Babe, your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.

·       You’d better direct that beauty somewhere else, you’ll set the carpet on fire.

·       If I received a nickel for everytime I saw someone as beautiful as you, I’d have five cents.

·       For a moment I thought I had died and gone to heaven. Now I see that I am very much alive, and heaven has been brought to me.

·       Sorry, but you owe me a drink. [Why?] Because when I looked at you, I dropped mine.

·       Are you a parking ticket? 'Cause you’ve got fine written all over you.

·       You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?

·       Can I have directions? [To where?] To your heart.

·       Do you have a BandAid? I just scraped my knee falling for you.

·       Be unique and different, say yes.

·       Do you have a map? I’m getting lost in your eyes.

·       I wanna live in your socks so I can be with you every step of the way.

·       Fascinating. I’ve been looking at your eyes all night long, 'cause I’ve never seen such dark eyes with so much light in them.

·       Most people like to watch the Olympics, because they only happen once every 4 years, but I’d rather talk to you cause the chance of meeting someone so special only happens once in a lifetime.

·       You’re so beautiful that you made me forget my pickup line.

·       You shouldn’t wear makeup. It’s messing with perfection!

·       If I had a star for every time you brightened my day, I’d have a galaxy in my hand.

·       If a thousand painters worked for a thousand years, they could not create a work of art as beautiful as you.

·       You know you’re in love when you can’t fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.

·       Damn, if being sexy was a crime, you’d be guilty as charged!

·       I was wondering if you had an extra heart mine seems to have been stolen

·       Smoking is hazardous to your health… and baby, you’re killing me!

·       There isn’t a word in the dictionary for how good you look.

·       Me without you is like a nerd without braces, A shoe without laces, aSentenceWithoutSpaces

·       Is there an airport nearby or is that just my heart taking off?

·       When I’m older, I’ll look back at all of my crowning memories, and I’ll think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

·       Are you from Tennessee? Because you’re the only ten I see!

·       I must be a snowflake, because I’ve fallen for you.

·       There is something wrong with my cell phone. It doesn’t have your number in it.

·       Baby, if you were words on a page, you’d be what they call FINE PRINT!

·       You must be a hell of a thief because you stole my heart from across the room.

·       Do you have a twin sister? Then you must be the most beautiful girl in the world!

·       You look beautiful today, just like every other day.

·       Excuse me, but I think I dropped something. MY JAW!

·       If you were a booger I’d pick you first.

·       Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why I love you.

·       Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it’s just a sparkle.

·       If I were to ask you out on a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

·       If this bar is a meat market, you must be the prime rib.

·       Are you lost ma'am? Because heaven is a long way from here.

·       I’m fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

·       My love for you is like diarrhea, I just can’t hold it in.

·       Hello, I’m a thief, and I’m here to steal your heart.

·       Hey baby you’re so fine you make me stutter, wha-wha-what’s your name?

·       I bet you $20 you’re gonna turn me down.

·       I’m not actually this tall. I’m sitting on my wallet.

·       Do you have the time? [Tells you the time] No, the time to write down my number?

·       Would you grab my arm so I can tell my friends I’ve been touched by an angel?

·       Hey… Didn’t I see your name in the dictionary under “Shazaam!”?

·       Rejection can lead to emotional stress for both parties involved and emotional stress can lead to physical complications such as headaches, ulcers, cancerous tumors, and even death! So for my health and yours, JUST SAY YES!

·       I seem to have lost my phone number. Can I have yours?

·       Hello are you married? [Yes] Well I didn’t hear you say “happily”.

·       You are like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

·       Excuse me, but does this smell like chloroform to you?

·       Hello how are you? [Fine] Hey, I didn’t ask you how you looked!

·       How was heaven when you left it?

·       Did you fart, cause you blew me away.

·       I don’t have a library card, but do you mind if I check you out?

·       Hey… somebody farted. Let’s get out of here.

·       I didn’t know that angels could fly so low!

·       There must be something wrong with my eyes, I can’t take them off you.

·       You are so fine, I wish I could plant you and grow a whole field of you!

·       Is your last name Gillette? Because you are the best a man can get.

·       Is your name “swiffer”? 'Cause you just swept me off my feet.

·       Excuse me, but you dropped something back there" (What?) “This conversation, lets pick it up later tonight.

·       Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?

·       Are you cold? You look like you could use some hot chocolate… Well, here I am!

·       If stars would fall everytime I would think of you, the sky would soon be empty.

·       You know, Dr. Phil says I’m afraid of commitment…Want to help prove him wrong?

·       Your lips look so lonely…. Would they like to meet mine?

·       Baby, you’re so sweet, you put Hershey’s outta business.

·       Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

·       Did the sun come out or did you just smile at me?

·       So there you are! I’ve been looking all over for YOU, the woman of my dreams!

·       Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

·       Inheriting eighty million bucks doesn’t mean much when you have a weak heart.

·       You see my friend over there? [Point to friend] He wants to know if YOU think I’M cute.

·       The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.

·       Excuse me, I just noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to give you notice that I noticed you too.

·       (As she is leaving) Hey aren’t you forgetting something? (What?) Me!

·       Somebody better call God, cuz heaven’s missing an angel!

·       Can I borrow a quarter? ["What for?”] I want to call my mom and tell her I just met the man/woman of my dreams.

·       I’m Mr. Right, someone said you were looking for me?

·       If I were a transplant surgeon, I’d give you my heart.

·       Are you Willy Wonka’s daughter, 'cuz you look sweet and delicious.

·       If you were a transformer, you’d be a HOT-obot, and your name would be Optimus Fine.

·       Do you remember me? [No.] Oh that’s right, we’ve only met in my dreams.

·       Did it hurt? (Did what hurt?) When you fell out of heaven?

·       I’m sorry, were you talking to me? [No] Well then, please start.

·       I play the field, and it looks like I just hit a home run with you.

·       I’m new in town. Could you give me directions to your apartment?

·       If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put 'U’ and 'I’ together.

·       If you were a tear in my eye I would not cry for fear of losing you.

·       My lenses turn dark in the sunshine of your love.

·       Was you father an alien? Because there’s nothing else like you on Earth!

·       What time do you have to be back in heaven?

·       Wouldn’t we look cute on a wedding cake together?

·       Your daddy must have been a baker, because you’ve got a nice set of buns.

·       Your legs must be tired because you’ve been running through my mind all night.

·       [Point at her ass] Pardon me, is this seat taken?

·       Was your father a thief? 'Cause someone stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.

·       [Look at her shirt label.] When they say, “What are you doing?” You respond: “Yep! Made in heaven!”

·       Your eyes are blue, like the ocean. And baby, I’m lost at sea.

·       You know how they say skin is the largest organ on the human body? Not in my case.

·       My name isn’t Elmo, but you can tickle me any time you want to.

·       You be the Dairy Queen and I’ll be your Burger King: You treat me right, and I’ll do it your way.

·       (Ask a person for the time) 9:15? So today is May 1, 2008, at 9:15 PM, thanks I just wanted to be able to remember the exact moment that I met the woman of my dreams.

·       Pinch me. [Why?] You’re so fine I must be dreaming.

·       if I had to choose between breathing or loving you, I would say “I love you” with my last breath!

·       Ouch! My tooth hurts! [Why?] Because you are soooo sweet!

·       I’m not trying to impress you or anything, but… I’m Batman!

·       You must be Jamaican, because Jamaican me crazy.

·       Do you know karate? Because your body is really kickin’.

·       When God made you, he was showing off.

·       You must be a Snickers, because you satisfy me.

·       Is your dad a terrorist? Because you are the bomb.

·       You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life!

·       Baby, you are so fine I could put you on a plate and sop you up with a biscuit.

·       Is there a rainbow today? I just found the treasure I’ve been searching for!

·       Hey, is it just me, or are we destined to be married?

·       Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boy/girlfriend?

·       I have an “owie” on my lip. Will you kiss it and make it better?

·       Let’s make like a fabric softener and 'Snuggle

·       I didn’t see any stars in the sky tonight, the most heavenly body was standing right next to me.

·       Hi, my name is Doug. That’s “god” spelled backwards with a little bit of you wrapped up in it.

·       (Put your fingers on the other’s nipples) Hey, here’s (name), comin’ at you with the weather. Can I be your warm front?

·       How much does a polar bear weigh? [How much?] Enough to break the ice… Hi, I’m (insert name here).

·       Well, I AM telepathic, and I can tell that you love me. Right? [NO!] Darn, I always get “love” and “lust” mixed up.

·       Should I smile because we are friends, or cry because I know that is what we will ever be?

·       When I look into your eyes, it is like a gateway into the world of which I want to be a part.

·       Hey baby. You got a jersey? [A jersey?…Why?] Because I need your name and number.

·       Hello, I’m doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines. So, do you pick 'Do you come here often?’, 'What’s your sign?’, or 'Hello, I’m doing a survey of what people think are the cheesiest pickup lines.’?

·       (hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?

·       This time next year let’s be laughing together.

·       Is your last name Whitman, because I want to sample you.

·       Let me tie your shoes, cause I dont want you falling for anyone else.

·       On a scale of 1 to 10, you’re a 9. I’m the 1 you need.

·       Most guys need 3 meals a day to keep going… I just need eye contact from you.

·       I wish I was cross-eyed, so I could see you twice.

·       Are you a beaver? Cause dam!

·       Do I know you? Cause you look just like my next girlfriend.

·       Is your father Lil Caeser? Cause you look Hot 'n Ready.

·       I could use some spare change and you’re a dime.

·       I’m no mathematician, but I’m pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, Give me yours and watch what I can do with it.

·       Didn’t I see you on the cover of Vogue?

·       Excuse me, I don’t want you to think I’m ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.

·       Have you always been this cute, or did you have to work at it?

·       Hey, don’t I know you? Yeah, you’re the girl with the beautiful smile.

·       Was your father a mechanic? Then how did you get such a finely tuned body?

·       I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

·       I hope you know CPR, cuz you take my breath away!

·       I just had to come talk with you. Sweetness is my weakness.

·       I think I can die happy now, cause I’ve just seen a piece of heaven.

·       I sneezed because God blessed me with you.

·       Nice to meet you, I’m (your name) and you are…gorgeous!

·       Was your dad king for a day? He must have been to make a princess like you.

·       Were your parents Greek Gods, 'cause it takes two gods to make a goddess.

·       What does it feel like to be the most beautiful girl in this room?

·       What’s that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it’s not coming off!

·       Wow! Are those real?

·       Ya know, you look really hot! You must be real reason for global warming.

·       You are the reason men fall in love.

·       You know the more I drink, the prettier you get!

·       You know, I would die happy if I saw you naked just once!

·       If you were ground coffee, you’d be Espresso cause you’re so fine.

·       You better call Life Alert, 'cause I’ve fallen for you and I can’t get up.

·       You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You’re making the other women look really bad.

·       You look like my third wife. [how many time have you been married?] Twice.

·       You should be someone’s wife.

·       Were you in Boy Scouts? Because you sure have tied my heart in a knot.

·       Are you as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside?

·       I want to be your tear drop, so I could be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

·       Babe! you look so fine I could drink your bath water!

·       You’re so hot you would make the devil sweat.

·       If I had a rose for every time I thought of you, I would be walking through my garden forever.

·       Hi, I’m writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you?

·       Girl, if I were a fly, I’d be all over you, because you’re the shit!

·       Hey, how did you do that? (What?) Look so good?

·       Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

·       If you stood in front of a mirror and help up 11 roses, you would see 12 of the most beautiful things in the world.

·       If God made anything more beautiful than you, I’m sure he’d keep it for himself.

·       You are so beautiful that I would marry your brother just to get into your family.

·       You look like a cool glass of refreshing water, and I am the thirstiest man in the world.

·       Are you a tamale? 'Cause you’re hot.

·       You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

·       Do you want to see a picture of a beautiful person? (hold up a mirror)

·       Do you bleach your teeth? 'Cause your smile lights up the entire room like a candle in the dark. Let’s go prove it.

·       Your ass is so nice that it is a shame that you have to sit on it.

·       Someone should call the police, because you just stole my heart!

·       Stop, drop, and roll, baby. You are on fire.

·       Baby, you’re so hot, you make the equator look like the north pole.

·       Come live in my heart, and pay no rent.

·       If it weren’t for that DAMNED sun, you’d be the hottest thing ever created.

·       How is your fever? [What fever?] Oh… you just look hot to me.

·       I just got dumped, and I think that you could make me feel better.

·       (Walk up to someone and bite them anywhere) Sorry, taking a bite out of crime. [WHAT?] Well it has to be illegal to look that good!

·       You are a 9 - you’d be a perfect 10 if you were with me.

·       Excuse me, I’d like to have kids someday, and I wanted to know how your parents created such a beautiful creature.

·       You’re so hot, I bet you could light a candle at 10 paces.

·       I can’t believe I’ve been hear the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One’, all I have time to say is “good bye”.

·       Hey baby, you’ve got something on your butt - my eyes!

·       This isn’t a beer belly, It'a a fuel tank for a love machine.

·       I don’t know you, but I think I love you already.

·       Here’s the key to my house, my car… and my heart.

·       if we shared a garden, I’d put my tulips and your tulips together. (tulips = two lips)

·       If I had to choose between one night with you or winning the lottery…I would chose winning the lottery…but it would be close…real close…

·       Do you have any sunscreen? 'Cause you are burning me up!

·       See these keys? I wish I had the one to your heart.

·       Stare at girl . (“What’re you staring at?”) You, Before I Wake Up From this Dream.

·       You’re hotter than donut grease.

·       Your eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

·       Was that an earthquake or did you just rock my world.

·       If you were a burger at McDonalds, you’d be McGorgeous.

·       Are your parents retarded, 'cause you sure are special.

·       If you could put a price tag on beauty you’d be worth more than Fort Knox.

·       I must be dancing with the devil, because you’re hot as hell.

·       I never need to see the sun again because your eyes light up my world.

·       If you were a steak you would be well done.

·       It’s dark in here. Wait! It’s because all of the light is shining on you.

·       Is your name Katrina? [No, why?] 'Cuz baby, you rock me like a hurricane!

·       Can you pull this heart-shaped arrow out of my butt? A damn little kid with wings shot me.

·       Hello. Cupid called. He says to tell you that he needs my heart back.

anonymous asked:

Darren looks better in clothes than without. I'm not slamming his body because damn - he definitely puts a lot of good work into it. I just like how clothes hang on him and he can pull off a really sexy look in some simple things. (Like jeans and a t-shirt)

Oh I think I agree!

I’m not a huge naked body person - love a tank top (to show off the biceps) and a tight pair of pants. Happy trails do little for me ha ha.

So yes agree!

My Only Hate

Originally posted by rickdixonandthefandomlifeposts

Pairing: Negan x Reader
Word count: 1,418
Warnings: Swearing

Final part of Violent Desires Meet Violent Ends


Waking up, your head was on Negan’s chest, his arm around your shoulders. You smiled up at him, enjoying how normal this felt. He smirked down at you, amused. “See somethin’ you like, sweetheart?”

You shrugged. “I might.” Grinning, you leaned up and kissed him softly. “Y/N.” You told him. He shifted, looking at you with furrowed brows. “You don’t have to tell me your name right now. I do like calling you the mystery man to my friends, but I wanted you to have mine.”

Surprisingly, he grinned at you. A full on, honest, joyful grin. He cupped your cheek and rolled the two of you so that he was over you. His brown eyes were locked on you Y/E/C eyes, both full of want and need for the other. His thumb brushed your bottom lip before he caught your lips with his.

Nothing more needed to be said, he showed you what he felt for you. You didn’t need his name right then, you didn’t need some sweet words, all you needed was him. Gripping his shoulders as he rolled his hips into yours, your eyes fluttered shut. His scruff rubbed against your neck, leaving the perfect burn in it’s wake. You felt his teeth barely brush against your skin as a low groan escaped him. “Oh…” You gasped.

“I love those sounds you make, sweetheart.” He panted, holding you tight to himself.

Keep reading

Games, Games and more Games

*a tad smutty* Spencer and I always played little games with each other, especially at work. Some are quite fun and love able like little pranks, while others, to put it plainly, get me unbelievably hot and bothered. Today was one of those hot and bothered days and God was Spencer winning. Every chance he got, he would press against me, his pants tight as ever, his hair a curvy and wavy mess, and whisper innocent things in my ear as if he didn’t know what he was doing. Don’t get me wrong I can hold my own, like bending over to pick up things that I “dropped” right in front of him, or leaning over his desk to talk to him so he could see a good a month of cleavage, and re applying red lip stick every hour. Sometimes I play quite a good hand but Spencer’s always beats mine. As I stood in the copy room, waiting for the papers that Garcia has asked for, I heard the door open and close behind me, knowing exactly who it was.
“You know you almost had me today.” The voice said causing me to smirk at my frustrated boyfriend of six months.
“The whole biting the end of pencils or eating things in a sexual way with your plump red lips, you sure know how to get me going, but…” He said as his foot steps began to get closer. I could feel his chest as well as his growing bridge against my back. I let our a small sigh, knowing that I was going to loose yet again.
“…we both know you always give in first.” He said continuing his thought from before as he ran his hands up and down my arms slowly, sending shivers down my spine. Not giving him any satisfaction or any indication that I was going to give in, only made it worse. He spun me around and pressed me against the copy machine, lips only inches from his, eyes locked dead into mine, and one of his hands sliding down my torso and into my jeans.
“Shit.” I let out causing him to smirk and only continue to do what I was hoping for all day.
“Now you can kiss me, giving into everything or I can bring you so incredibly close to orgasm and then leave, without another word.” He said as his hand began to rub me faster and faster. His eyes were now a dark brown and my head was thrown back, my groans and moans getting louder, trying my best not to let him win yet again.
“Oh baby, if you have a choice.” He said kissing my neck causing me to let out a rather loud and deep moan. He smirked slightly, knowing I was closer that ever.
“Oh fuck me.” I said just before grabbing his face and placing me lips on his. Losing this round of the game and giving into my rather hot and dominant boyfriend that no one saw other than me.
“I say what we do around here, not the other way around.” He said, breaking the kiss, taking his hand out of my pants and heading for the door.
“Later.” He said as he left the room, leaving me turned on and breathing heavily. He has been practicing his self control, he upped the anti and now I knew I didn’t stand a chance in hell.

Your eyes are so beautiful, they would have melted the iceberg in front of the Titanic! I have lost my phone number, can I have yours instead?

I will just hold your hand, do you trust me?? Let’s just nap for a little bit over there.

If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?

I feel like fainting when I see your beauty, your beauty makes me feel like my pants are far too tight.

So we’ve met again, eh? I love you, but I can’t marry you. Do you want to drink something?

You are the most beautiful woman in the world. Give me a kiss

How does it feel to be the most beautiful woman in this room?

I cannot wait until we meet again at the crossing of our stars

@rusynskii Here are some of the ones i have currently 

A Little Lovin (PewdieKen)

Oh, god…this fic is gonna be the death of me…

But my friend made me post it, and I’m gonna do it for all the PewdieKen fans

Also, if any of you guys see some errors…don’t hesitate to let me now~

Summary: Ken and Felix move in with each other, but they’re not having any fun between the sheets. Now, Ken said he would wait for his little Felix till he was ready but a man has needs. Physical needs that involve a cute Swedish gamer.

Rating: NSFW (so…even though it’s shitty smut, it’s smut. Watch yourself)

Word Count: Over 3,500

Keep reading

“How do I bring a flower?”

RWBY 3 has been insaaane, I hope everyone has been enjoying/surviving the finale.

How do I explain my love for this huge dork? When @roosterteeth‘s official Lie Ren figure came out, I immediately resolved to try to recreate it. Unfortunately, I have tight pants and girl hips, and I was experiencing some costume malfunctions so I couldn’t get to that full majesty but I am so lucky to have friends help me out.

Photo: @plutopia001
Cosplayer: Pyrahus

Much, much better.

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam.

Warnings: Smut.

Tagging: @spnfanficpond @aprofoundbondwithdean @spnashley

Summary: Reader pretends to be a stripper for a case. Dean gets a bit intense.

A/N: I am feeling the urge to make this a series. So let me know with some feedback. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy. Lots of love xx.

His jaw hit the ground the moment she stepped on the stage. He couldn’t look away, all he could do was ogle with his mouth agape. He always thought she was beautiful, but seeing her like this made his mouth dry and his heart thud in his ears.

He took her in. His eyes sliding from her wine stained lips, down her neck and lingered on her hips. The way she swayed them caused his pants to become uncomfortably tight. All he could imagine was ripping off that snug little top and panties and doing sin to her body, until she cried his name out in ecstacy.

Sam cleared his throat, jolting Dean from his little fantasy. He shifted and moved his hands into his suit pockets then turning to look at Sam.

“Maybe asking Y/N to do this was a bad idea.” Sam said, his lips in a tight line.

“What? Her pretending to be a stripper. Come on Sammy. It had to be her. It’s not like we could get up there and shake our asses in this club.”

Sam shook his head and chuckled at Dean’s response.

“You know, I hate the way all these guys are looking at her. But I ain’t mad about the way she looks either.” Dean smirked.

“She can handled herself Dean. A guy tries something, she’ll knock him into next year. Except you. She has a soft spot for you.” A small smile was dancing on Sam’s lips.

She was agile like a cat, snaking around the pole- making sure everyone’s eyes were on her. Yeah she could dance pretty well but that didn’t make it less embarrassing or nerve wreaking wearing almost nothing and shaking her ass for horny men. She sighed, the things she did to catch the monsters. She looked up and noticed Sam and Dean leaning against the bar counter, and Dean had a smirk plastered on his face, which caused her heart to quicken and her body to tremble. She was trying to distract herself from his smoldering eyes.

“Find the siren. Kill the son of a bitch. Find the siren. Kill the son of a bitch.” She whispered to herself as the song ended. She took a boisterous bow, her ass swaying as she walked off the stage to join Sam and Dean.

Dean bit the inside of his cheek- jealously welling up inside his chest as men whistled at her. A man sitting at the bar, loudly smacked her ass as she walked passed. She was furious but before she had a chance to put him in his place, Dean’s fist connected with the man’s face. She heard the crunch of his nose and when he fell to the ground she saw the dribble of blood.

Sam grabbed Dean by the shoulders, holding him back. “Walk it off man. Let it go.”

She stood there, shocked. This was the first time Dean had defended her, he usually let her smash the bad guy to pieces. She didn’t know how to feel- flattered or furious. He slid of his suit jacket and chucked it at her, as he walked out the club with Sam, without even glancing back at her. She held his jacket close to her chest and smelt him. She grinned and put it on, following them outside.

His blood was boiling, not for her anymore but with anger. It was one thing to look at his girl and a whole different thing to touch her. He wanted to crush that guy, make him understand that she was his, only his.

The ride to the motel was a tense one. Dean’s jaw was twitching like he was biting down his words and Y/N sat in the back expressionless just holding onto Dean’s jacket around her.

The moment Dean pulled in front of the motel, Sam spoke up with an awkward smile, “I have a bit more research to do. So I’ll see you guys later with some dinner.” Dean throw the keys at him and barged inside the room. She waited outside until Same drove off. She wasn’t in a hurry to get smothered by Dean’s temper.

He yanked his tie off and flung it on the bed whilst pacing. She took of his coat and was standing in front of him. He was trying not to stare.

His eyes were sharp and green, his handsome raw boned face livid. He was, she thought smugly, hers for the taking. He ripped the coat from her hands and tossed it aside.

“Hey!”

“You’re lucky I didn’t wrap it around your throat.”

She leaned in to snarl in his face, “try it.”

He slid his hand under her chin, gave her throat a light threatening squeeze. “I prefer my hands.”

“You don’t scare me Dean. You never did.”

He hauled her close to him. He could smell her hair, her skin and lust crawled along with temper into his belly, “I can change that.”

A fire burning in her eyes, “I was doing my job Dean. It burns your ass that other men actually make moves on me. I have a mind of my damn own. You sure as hell can’t pretend like I’m yours. So take a hike.”

“I hate the way you’re speaking to me Y/N. It actually wasn’t that, that was burning my ass. It was your ego soaked bitchiness. You go around acting like you don’t need anyone.”

He caught her fist an instant before it plowed into his jaw. They grappled for a moment.

Then they fell on to the bed.

She tore his shirt, buttons popping as she yanked it impatiently over his head. Her breathing ragged. He rolled, he ripped the flimsy material off her. Her teeth digging into his shoulder and his hands dragging through her hair. His body pinned hers and his mouth crushed into hers and all she could think was Thank god. She arched against him, her mind yelling for more. Her hands streaking over his body to take it.

He was rough, like she flipped a switch in him. He craved her, hunger borderlining pain. He wanted to bury himself in her wet heat and have her writing beneath him.

He took her breast with his calloused hand and then his mouth. She bucked under him, levered her hand’s between their bodies and fought his zipper. They were gasping for breaths as they touched, groped and felt.

The momentum had them of the bed and onto the floor. Even as the fall dazed her, he drove into her. She cried out, a short shocked sound and her legs wrapped around him like chains.

She felt all of him in tons, the line of bone, the play of muscle, the scars, the taste of his flesh and the quick scrape of stubble when it rubbed against her.

She couldn’t speak, she couldn’t stop. Each violent thrust fired into her blood until she was just a mass of raw nerves. She clutched on to him, pistoning her hips to match his thrusts, her vision blurring.

The orgasm seemed to tear up from her toes, her centre, heart, head. For one instant, she saw his face, vivid and clear above her. His eyes almost black, fixed on hers with intensity that stripped her to the bone. Even as her eyes glazed, she knew he was falling out of himself, he still was watching her.

She rolled over on her stomach and laid flat on the floor. He lay beside her, their fingers and legs tangled, both staring at the ceiling with heaving chests.

Y/N sat up and asked Dean, “Feel better now ?”
He turned his head to look at her, with a smirk, “don’t you ?”

She grinned, “Much.” She said as he tucked a stray hair behind her ear, tenderly.

I Should've Known From The Start

Michael was tired of tattooing guys that called him ‘dude’ or ‘bro.’ So, when he saw you come in, hand tightly wrapped around your phone and wallet, short skirt and heels, he jumped at the chance.
“What are you wanting done?” He asked after you introduced yourself.
“Someone that says ‘fuck you, I can make my own decisions.’” You told him and he smirked.
“Daddy issues?” He raises his eyebrows and you scoffed.
“Will you tattoo me or not?” You crossed your arms.
“We need to figure out what you’re getting first.” He told you, leaning against the counter. You immediately pulled out your phone, looking through what you had recently saved, a garter tattoo.
“Something like this?” You showed him and he nodded.
“I can have a stencil ready by tomorrow morning.” He told you and you nodded.
“Awesome.” You smiled. “How much?” You took out your dad’s credit card and Michael laughed. You just handed it over and he ran it. “How is 9 am?”
“Uh,” he looked over the appointment book, “good. See you tomorrow, Princess.” You rolled your eyes and but your lip.
“Bye Michael.” You said and left. Michael just chuckled and shook his head, knowing you were up to no good. When you got home, you heard your parents arguing. Great.
“She needs to go back, or she’s moving out!” Your dad told your mum.
“We are not kicking out our only child!” She yelled back. There was a slammed door and you didn’t feel like listening any more, so, you played music from your stereo, drowning out everything bad. Dinner was silent, your parents not talking and you not wanting anyone to yell again.
Michael was closing up shop with Calum as Cal looked over the appointment book.
“Who’s the 9 o'clock?” Calum asked, looking up at him.
“Some girl who wants to piss of her parents.” Michael shrugged, throwing away some water bottles.
“She cute?” Calum asked.
“Yeah.” Michael noticed that you were cute, but didn’t really care. Lots of people who came in here were cute.
“Okay, well, I’m really fucking tired. Ready to close?” Calum asked and Michael surveyed the shop for anything he missed.
“Yeah, let’s go.” They locked up and went home, sleeping the day off.
Okay, you were really nervous. You didn’t want to tell anyone because this was for you. This was you making your own decisions, telling your dad to fuck off. You wore something so that Michael could easily access your thigh and went to get your tattoo done. When you got inside, no one was in the front, a Blink-182 song playing in the shop. Michael came out to greet you, showing you the sketch and you went back, your leg getting prepped. He could tell you were very nervous, so he tried to joke around. As he was applying the stencil, he chuckled.
“I’m in between your legs and we haven’t even had a date.” He smirked up at you, the fear of pain subsiding the tiniest bit. Then the thought clicked in your mind.
“Would you want to go on a date?” You asked him, him knowing exactly what you were doing.
“Are you sure?” He carefully pulled the paper away. “Don’t think your parents would exactly love their baby girl with me.”
“I know.” You said, watching him set up the tattoo gun. “And maybe I like you.” You both knew you were lying. You went for guys with brand new Mercedes and watches that cost more than their college tuition. He could tell.
“No you don’t.” He said, testing the gun. “Ready?” My heart dropped, and apparently it showed. “Do you have a history of passing out?”
“No.”
“Have you eaten?”
“I literally just had McDonald’s.” He smiled.
“I’m starting on the front of your thigh, the pain gets worse going in,” his hand slid to your inner thigh, “and it barely hurts on the outside.” His hand moved again and you nodded. The hum of the needle started and you watched him place it on your thigh.
“Shit!” Your hand clenched into a fist. “That really fucking hurts.” He chuckled.
“You’re fine, it’s not even the worst part.” He assured, working towards the inside. You tried to focus on the music playing, but your mind filled with thoughts of how painful this was. Beth by KISS came on and you heard Michael start singing. “So, why do you wanna piss off your parents so bad?”
“My dad’s a controlling piece of shit that put me in law school and I wanted to go to-Fucking hell!” He laughed again. “I dropped out and he wants me out of the house.”
“So move out.” He told you.
“No.” You almost wanted to cross your arms. “I literally take up one room.”
“That would really show daddy you’re an adult.” He was smirking. How dare he!
“Are you trying to make me mad?” A particular pang of pain washed over you. “I can’t fucking believe this.”
“Calm down, sweetheart, just giving a suggestion.” He glanced up at your face. “I’ll go out with you.”
“Awesome.” You breathed out. You spent the rest of the tattoo talking about him, why he loves tattoos, his parents, his band.
“We’re okay.” He said.
“When’s your next show?”
“Why?” You were now laying on your side, your back facing him.
“Because I like music.” You said and he scoffed. “What?”
“Who’s your favorite band?” He asked you.
“Probably Fall Out Boy or Panic! At The Disco. I’m getting into A Day To Remember though.” You said and didn’t hear anything from him besides the sound of the gun. “No witty quip?”
“Just surprised.” He said quietly. After that, you only had to lay there for about ten more minutes and he bandaged it up. He helped you stand, explaining how to care for your new ink. “It’s gonna look really fucking gross in a couple hours, and swelling on the in and outside is very normal, but it’ll look like you have a disease.” You laughed a bit. He gave you some cream and advised on not wearing tight skirts or pants.
“Thank you.” You said, grabbing your purse from the floor.
“No problem.” He smiled at you. “So, when are we ‘dating?’” He used finger quotes.
“What are you doing for dinner?” You asked him.
“Not shit.” He started sanitizing the area.
“You can come to my house and we can order pizza.” You told him.
“After my own heart.” He said jokingly. You gave him your address and told him the less respectful, the better. “So, what do I get out of this?” You smirked, loving the question.
“Me.” You turned around and walked out, passing a very nice looking darker skinned guy. You left to do some errands, leaving Michael shaking his head.
“Was that her?” Calum asked Michael as he came out to the front.
“Yeah.” Michael found your phone number from the paperwork you filled out and saved you in his phone as 'Princess 💖’.
“Trust fund baby.” Calum chuckled.
“Going over to her house tonight.” Michael told him.
“Why?” He was obviously confused, Michael liked girls that…well, weren’t anything similar to you.
“To piss off her parents.” He told Calum.
“And?” Calum edged him on.
“I like her a little bit.” Michael wouldn’t make eye contact with him.
“You fucker.” Calum said. “She’s a child who’s upset because mommy and daddy won’t give her what she wants, so she’s using you.”
“I know.” Michael walked into the break room to eat lunch. Calum followed him, telling him why he shouldn’t like you. “Could you fucking stop?!” Calum abruptly shut up.
“I’m just trying to warn you.” Calum sighed, getting some water.
“I’m not stupid, I know what this is.”

That night, you and your dad had a screaming match after Michael left, leaving only a deep purple mark on your neck, as a sign that he was there. This continued for about weeks, then you got your lip pierced, bringing in a wave of reasons why you should be kicked out. You met 'the guys’, as Michael called them, at one of their shows. Michael introduced you as his girlfriend, his hand still wrapped around yours from when he pulled you through a giant crowd. A month went by after that, and your parents still hated Michael. You came to love when you got to spend time with him. You would bring him lunch at work, beers during his writing sessions, and even stayed at his house a few nights. You finally got your dad to let you go to the school you wanted, cosmetology school. You wanted something easy and reliable. You didn’t want to be tied down to an exhausting career.
Michael came over to your house again and you told him the news.
“My dad is letting me go.” You excitedly told him.
“Yeah?” He had a bad feeling. “Guess I should go then.” He put his hands in his pockets.
“What?” You asked, pulling his hand out. “We haven’t even cuddled yet.” You laced your fingers with his, him pulling them away.
“It’s fine, you don’t need me anymore.” He told you and your eyebrows furrowed. “We started this thing so you could get what you want, and now you have it. We can 'break up’ now.” You could tell he was hurt. Shit, he was almost teary eyed. He didn’t want to end up like this. He wanted to leave this thing unscathed.
“Mikey.” The sadness in your voice just made him want to leave. “It was like that, but-”
“Y/N,” his voice was soft. “It’s okay. It was nice, playing house.” He kissed your forehead and walked out the door. You didn’t want to cry, but you did. Fuck, you were a mess.

For two weeks you didn’t hear from him. Every time you looked at your thigh, thoughts of him flooded into your mind. You had it with this dumb shit. You wanted him back. Your feelings for him were real, your love for him was real. You went into the shop and saw Calum out front with a customer. He glanced at you and his eyebrows raised. The customer left and Calum looked at you again.
“He’s outside, smoke break.” He pointed towards the back. You knew exactly which door to go out and found Michael, lit cigarette in his hand, head leaned back against the building, eyes closed.
“I’m almost done.” He thought you were Calum.
“I can wait.” I said and his eyes shot open, his body turning so he could look at me.
“Why are you here?” He shot you an unconvincing look of distaste.
“I want to talk to you.” You crossed your arms.
“There’s nothing to talk about.” He tried to push past you, but you grabbed his hand tugging him to face you.
“I love you and-” he laughed. He knew you wanted something else from him. He really wanted to hate you.
“You don’t love me! You used me and I’m done!” His voice raised. “Jesus, you can’t get whatever you want all the time, Y/N!” He ran his hands through his hair. “I have to get back to work.”
“Michael.” Your voice was just above a whisper. “I love you.” You grabbed his had. “I am so sorry for using you, I miss you so much.” He bit his lip.
“What do you want this time?” It had to be something.
“You, God dammit Michael! I want to be with you for fucking ever but you apparently don’t want that, so goodbye.” You walked through the shop, got tears running down your face. During your time together, Michael had shown you 18 by Anarbor, saying that this is what your 'relationship’ was. Now it was playing in the shop and you just went to your car, cursing Michael. Your passenger door opened and Michael got in.
“You’re still driving your dad’s car.” He chuckled.
“What do you want?” You asked him, daring to look at him.
“You.” He said quietly and pulled you to kiss him. “I love you too, Princess.”

anonymous asked:

i love how well he fills out his jeans...lol...i can't stop staring. also his arms, holy shiet

Ikr! Gah. And all this super tight pants wearing he’s been doing lately ioskjebr I need an ice pack.

Like literally everything that was the glorious TIFF/BBC week 

This basically is everything. Arms, pecs, some nipple (don’t act like you don’t see them), thighs, crotch, HANDS LOOK AT THE MANS HANDS! Where the hell is the ice bucket challenge when you really need it?

HIS CALVES ARE LITERALLY THE SIZE OF HIS THIGHS. Normally I would think this might weird me out but nope. Nope

Then there’s the suit that murdered everyone.

I don’t even have anything else to say about this one. *throws blank papers in the air*

He even talked about his butt bottom. He knows what’s up. (x)

We witnessed his beautiful biceps doing some karaoke. His arms really do look quite nice here. Plus the high-water skinny jeans… Please wear these everyday of your life This nonsense has got to stop Taron. 

Tennis shorts fucking happened. 

And of course we witnessed his true physical prowess when he made every man/woman on the earth wish they were a pub chair in under 10 seconds.

So yea, legs and arms. 

Preference #11: You catch him staring at your ass…

Ashton: You’re hanging out with your best friend Ashton and his bandmates in their dressing room after a show, laughing and tossing around a beach ball that had been thrown on stage by one of the fans. You turn your head for a moment and feel the plastic hit the side of your head and bounce off. The boys erupt in fits of laughter as you turn and glare at them. “Real mature”, you mumble, smiling to yourself as you jog over to the doorway where the ball had rolled. You bend over and pick it up, turning around to walk back to the boys when suddenly Calum begins laughing again. “Is something funny?” you ask with an amused expression, looking over to Ashton who wouldn’t meet your eyes. “He-he was looking at your ass” Cal exclaims, still giggling. “Ashton Irwin”, you cry, hitting his shoulder. “I am not a piece of meat!” He blushes and apologizes, rubbing the back of his neck. For the rest of the night Ashton refuses to look you in the eyes until you finally hug him tightly and tell him that you don’t mind his eyes on you.  

Michael: You’re in the kitchen making lunch for you and your boyfriend. You search through the cabinets for the pepper, finally finding it on an upper shelf. You reach up on your toes to get it down but to no avail; it’s out of your reach. Good thing your boyfriend is a giant. “Michael!” you call, and a few seconds later he is at the doorway, laughing as you struggle to reach the shelf. “Hey shortie”, he chuckles, leaning on the doorframe. “Can you help me”, you whine, embarrassed at your failure. “I don’t know babe, this is kinda fun”, he retorts, crossing his arms. You sigh and try to reach the shaker again, your shirt riding up a little, exposing your butt which was covered in tight leggings. Michael’s breath hitches in his throat and he looks away as you turn around. He walks up and grabs the pepper, setting it down on the counter and wrapping his arms around your waist. “You look amazing in those pants (Y/N)” he mumbles, his voice deep and husky. “Michael I have to cook…”, you trail off as he begins pressing kisses to your neck. “Food can wait. I can’t.”

Luke: “Luke?” you call. “Yeah babe”, your boyfriend responds, walking into your bathroom. “Do these pants fit me okay?” You watch in the mirror as his eyes rake up and down your legs, stopping for a second at your behind. You clear your throat and he looks up, flustered and blushing. “Well?” you prompt. “It, um, looks fine” he mumbles. “Really”, you say, turning to look at your ass in the mirror. “I think they’re a bit tight, don’t you? I mean, look at this.” He blushes even more but regains some of his confidence, grabbing your waist and giving you a kiss. “I love them”, he whispers against your lips. “I’m just worried about how long it’s going to take me to get them off.” He leans in for another kiss, but you pull away at the last second. He whines as you turn and walk away. “You’re evil” he growls and you laugh, making sure to sway your hips as you leave. 

Calum: Your doctor had told you that you were too stressed out and needed to set aside time in your day to relax, so you decided to take yoga classes. It is your second lesson and you decide to drag along your boyfriend Calum for the class, telling him that it will be fun to hang out together since he has been so busy with recording. He places his mat behind instead of next to yours, earning a questioning look from you. “Strategic placement”, he says, and sits himself down. Halfway through the class you’re in the downward dog position and you look through your legs to see Calum staring at you. You smirk, knowing where his eyes are fixated, and stretch a little further towards him. He suddenly gets up and picks up your stuff, dragging you out of the studio. Before you know it you’re up against a bathroom wall with Calum’s lips pressed hungrily to yours. He reaches down for your ass, whispering, “Fuck those pants look good on you.”

A/N: i’m not happy with this one, especially ashton’s. idk how to descriptively write kissing scenes because my lips are virgins and the smut tag is cluttered so you’re stuck with calum’s being crap. also overall this is shit. i’m off my game. request here

4

Summer. I have had to take several cold showers today. I was also told to ‘put some pants on’ these ones are ok i suppose. i couldn’t take the usual photo to show the tush because these shorts really do show off every little bit of it.

I like how less fearful I have become of showing off my thighs. I’m wearing these shorts, and although they have become super tight I just love how they hug every little part of me. As a bigger girl I was always aggressively told I shouldn’t wear shorts - because i am showing ‘too much skin’ but I adore shorts. It’s a shame to be told to cover up all the time because at times like these I really do love my body. I just wish that other people didn’t see it as a disgusting thing that needs to be ‘covered up’