what she means:
why do so many people hate kevin day?? he doesn't deserve hate. he literally grew up on exy in an abusive home where exy was probably the only way for him to express aggression without repercussions. he literally clung onto exy to survive mentally and people hate him for that?? people think he's an asshole just because he doesn't know how to express care for anything properly, other than said sport?? he trusted riko and when riko found out how good kevin was at exy he literally broke his hand in an attempt to take that from him?? I mean no wonder kevin is so reclusive. how do you trust someone after that?? kevin day just cares so much for the foxes but he doesn't even know how to express it. AND to top it all off he has to look his actual dad in the face every day and it probably tore him apart every single time?? like he was so abused he couldn't even open up to his own dad?? kevin day deserved so much better fight me
First of all, I’ve never written any kind of meta in my life.
Second, I don’t have a Degree in Psychology but my mother is a Psychiatrist and I checked this with her, aside of doing my own research. This topic is one we talk in daily basis but it suddenly made sense when His Last Vow came out. Though she doesn’t have anything to do with this. I’m the one relating it to BBC Sherlock.
Also, this is information that might be useful for any of you, so you might as well give it a read.
Contrary to popular belief, the syndrome I’ll be talking about, is not exclusive for hostage scenarios.
So now that we set that, why Sherlock forgave Mary?
As you might know, or not, the Stockholm syndrome, is a psychological phenomenon in which a victim express empathy and sympathy and have positive feelings toward their attacker. These feelings are generally considered irrational in light of the danger endured by the victims, who essentially mistake a lack of abuse from their captors for an act of kindness. It’s a common survival mechanism.
“And yet over a distance of 6 feet you could have easily given me a kill shot. Enough to hospitalize me; not enough to kill me. That wasn’t a miss, that was surgery.”
“She phoned the ambulance”
Sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with them.
Sherlock identifies with Mary when John asks Is everyone I ever met a psychopath? Sherlock says yes, to what he believes is identifying with Mary, even if we know that’s not true. Sherlock Holmes won’t even be a high functioning socio-path, less a psychopath.
Now, this part I always find unfair for John when Sherlock and Mary say this is what John likes. As if being an adrenaline junkie, suddenly meant all the bullshit that happens to him, it happens because he wanted it. “Why is she like that?” “Because you chose her.” That’s another way of justifying her behaviour.
It occurs in the most psychologically traumatic situations, and its effects usually do not end when the crisis ends. In the most classic cases, victims continue to defend and care about their captors. Both, victim and the author of the crime, want to come out unharmed of this situation, and because of this, they cooperate.
“Why didn’t you come to me in the first place?”
“Because John can never know that I lie to him. It would break him and I would loose him forever, and Sherlock, I would never let that happen.”
After the shooting, Sherlock tries to make sense of this and deduces that Mary has a problem she needs to fix, a case. Mary cooperates and tells them the story — the one we never hear about.
Victims in their wish for preserve their lives, try to fulfil to the attacker’s wish. Which in this case, it’s John staying with Mary. Sherlock practically forces John to forgive her and stay, shoving these explanations down his throat.
And it’s ironic. Sherlock, being such an analytical man and being victim of his own head at the end of the day.
And I think it’s incredibly accurate, considering how S3 is about Sherlock loosing control and being betrayed by his emotions. Showing how much of an human he is. Though I know it’s just a show, and I might be having too much faith on it. If S4 comes out and they are ignoring the fact that Mary literally killed Sherlock, then I won’t care. This explanation will keep being true to me.
Because that’s what we do, we have to find explanations when someone we love hurts us in unexplainable ways. We want to believe in them. And Sherlock is no different.