i didnt want to leave anyone out

i had panic attacks all morning

texted the manager phone to explain that and asked if i could call out without having to call because phone calls make me even more anxious

finally worked up the bravery to make the call

got a 5 minute lecture from one of my store managers telling me that since i dont normally work closing shifts and ive mentioned i dont like them very much, it looks bad for me from the perspective of my coworkers and managers

then he told me we didnt have anyone to cover the shift and that id be letting the team down if i didnt come in or find a cover

and he said he wants to challenge the team to come in even when theyre not doing good and that, even with my legally approved medical leave specifically for my mental illnesses, that if im “just having a bad day” i shouldnt call out for that

so im going to work

bye

This year is off to a great start for this blog. Thank you everyone for all the support! Too much fabulous-ness for one website:

#&SYM: 0takugirl, -crosszeria, -jenjam
A-F: a-pretty-white-lie, ainosono, akahshi, akihitooo, akashinigami, akihito-s, akiseru, akashis, altairis, ametrine, amuriita, anime-domination, animeismyescape, anjizu, anninika, aomiki, aprettyfire, awake-spirit, b-y-a-k-u-y-a, baiko, bakamura, bakuryuha, bakusaiga, becauseoppositesattract, cakekashi, cardcaptorchronicles, chiakki, chibishi, chigiris, crookedexpectations, crossroad--demon, daisensou, daughterofsatan, e-r-w-i-n, edithsprior, elanra, elyuhrias, enkais, erendragneel, erwinlevii, fangasming, flourites, flying-shadow, fourleafclovertaiga, fullmetalpsycho, fushimii, fuwacchi
G-L: gardevoirs, grell-michaelis, haikyu, harukkas, harumoko, heckyeahdeathnote, heckyeahruroken, hentaiis, higurashi-shrine, hopelessbaka, houtarouh, hyouriinmaru, ichij0u, imayoshishouichi, iminato, immortalsilence, impressedsenpai, inuchi, inuyasha, inuyashasramen, inuyashathefinalact, itachiuchihas, itarasu, itslenaleebitch, junnkou, just-a-demon-butler, kadrena, kanariiya, kanashimis, keiko-chan, kiisaki, kikyousama, kiramekii, kisekis, kuroshinzo, kuroshitsuji, larimii, lawlietisawesome, laxxus, lilium, lonachu, lordzuuko, lucrious, luxios
M-O: maggiesrevenge, mak0-chan, mamotte, manuelaggm, maruuji, matsuoka-dere, midorimas, mikotocchi,mmamuras, namikazes,narukage, naruto-passion, narutosavvy, neogohann, nezumura, nharmona, nivove, nosev, obito, ocarine, oh-totoro, ohayocelestia, ohbirds, onlyinuyasha, orochis
P-S: parrareru, perfvert, pikaflare, psychoticscream, rainnieday, ranmas, ren-hakuryuu, rimu, riseken, roymaes, ryuichii, ryuugazakis, sachikoo, sangosenpai, sceneriies, seidenki, seiryuus, sekaiichiyaoi, senj0ugahara, sesshomarusbakusaiga, sexpai, sharingan-legacy, shidanohana, shorkkeyst, shoujoromance, shoukaze, sobyouu, soukatsui, starkana, steelix, stupid-otaku, suwari-s, swimclubboys, switch-girl
T-Z: taitetsu, theakatsuki, theavike, thejacketslut, theshikonjewel, theuchihabrothers, totoros, tsurende, uchiha-ism, uchihalegacy, ukyos, watashi-akuma, whatsupnaraku, wxtchdog, yamaguchi-kenji, yatoki, ymiryeager, yorozura, yukisou, yuugurenai, yuuukeis, yyhlove, zeino-edits, zetsueen

realizing i dont have to fake my confidence anymore is something i never want to forget.

today i was in the gym walking from a cable to my water when i remembered “shoulders back, stand up straight, walk confidently”. i was ready to correct myself when i realized i was already doing it. thats something ive been working on for months- avoiding the timid walk where i try to disappear.
i looked in the mirror for the thousandth time and realized i wasnt critiquing myself. i was admiring how my body looked.
i felt my shirt and remembered i had put on nike pro spandex and a skin tight racerback tanktop. 9 months ago, as one of my new year resolutions, i wrote down i wanted to be able to wear fitted clothes without breaking down or crying. i never even thought twice leaving the house today.
on my way to the gym i was blasting the jonas brothers with the windows down and singing my heart out because i was happy, and i didnt care what anyone thought.

i dont have to pretend to look self assured when i walk in front of other people.
i can look in the mirror and not hate what i see, let alone compliment it.
i can wear tight clothing without the constant paranoia someone will think im fat- because i thought that was one of the worst things i could ever be.
i can show my joy because im not afraid of looking stupid, or being judged.

i am stronger than ive ever been, and im only getting stronger. im a fighter and im proud as fuck of who i am.

i dont have to fake being confident and happy anymore, because its who i am today.

if anyone wants to know here’s a rough translation of the conversation from chloe’s parents (its really nothing that special tbh)

mom: chloe are you here?
mom: oh it’s the friends you talked about earlier right?
chloe: yeah..
mom: what’s wrong? did something happen?
(chloe leaves and goes to do homework)
dad: what’s wrong with her? did something happen?
(panda explains the situation, then the three bears introduce themselves)
dad: oh this is the friend who got dumped by his girlfriend
mom: ohh 

(after that is mostly just english dialogue)

Hi lovelies! It’s been a little while since my first follow forever, and I’ve made a lot of cool new mutuals/friends since then, so I wanted to make another one! You’re all so sweet and beautiful and extraordinary, and I love seeing you on my dash 😊Not to be Fake Deep™ but 1D’s on their hiatus now and I’m feeling a lil sentimental about how I’ve had this blog for 4 years and how it’s really shaped my life, which is also thanks to you all 😌Even if we haven’t talked much I adore each and every one of you. 

ANYWAYS enough of that  – I hope you all have the happiest of holidays! rock on ✨💫

@hahruld ♡ @vincentmangoghs ♡ @clint-bishops ♡ @purecontrol ♡ @bastlile ♡ @memeharry ♡ @zaynkillers ♡ @hohohos ♡ @moneypowerzayn ♡ @harrysbabybump ♡ @jollyharrys ♡ @tomlinsnn ♡ @frattylou ♡ @buzing ♡ @popunkzayn ♡ @joying0ut ♡ @haroeld ♡ @prozaddy ♡ @fckwckd ♡ @zarrents ♡ @nipsicle ♡ @realericforman ♡ @radzkaban ♡ @universityfic ♡ @kitkatp ♡ @volubl ♡ @thedogemoji ♡ @goldbisexual ♡ @merazain ♡ @twinsign ♡ @beynikaschild ♡ @halseyn ♡ @theaphrodite ♡ @topfairy ♡ @brownofcolor ♡ @bestsnogever ♡ @horanslove ♡ @mariahmathers ♡ @stockholmlou ♡ @niallandharrie@bitchyvirgo ♡ @bitchinadidas ♡ @downintheflames ♡ @zweaty ♡ @zayngoth ♡ @harrysaesthetic ♡ @saintskidds ♡ @louisblues ♡ @alritepetal ♡ @writerharryau ♡ @lilakski@aberharry ♡ @ufolilo ♡ @cryh ♡ @saltystyless@pouringniall ♡ @dyleenobrien ♡ @harrysthrill ♡ @harrysthenewblack ♡ @icelunds ♡ @hiqey ♡ @vipharry ♡ @mexizarry ♡ @paradisewithziam ♡ @heyangelmp3s ♡ @eleanorjanestyle@unoccuring ♡ @explicitboys ♡ @caramelho ♡ @navykink ♡ @winterrealestatehoe ♡ @mattyfromawkward ♡ @prettysoftboy ♡ @bus1tat ♡ @comfyharry ♡ @zarryfuckmeup ♡ @tayswitf@lamenymphs ♡  @zrakeful ♡ @crierbaby ♡ @nocontrl ♡ @umluna ♡ @peruanita ♡ @harryurkindafunny ♡ @stockhloms ♡ @babegoals ♡ @nikcjonas ♡ @harrydontstop ♡ @lukeshemnings ♡ @fluorescenthalsey ♡ @harlodst  ♡ @bangpayne ♡ @harrysallen ♡ @banglucas ♡ @stylinsoz@sobersenpai ♡ @harrysguccisuits ♡

+blogroll

i was nervous to do one of these because i didn’t want to leave anyone out, but a bias list on this account is long overdue. roleplaying is my hobby & i’ve met some INCREDIBLE people through this blog. i’m so grateful for EVERY single one of you, even if i don’t always get the chance to interact with everyone. know that i see you out there & you’re appreciated so so much !!! thank you for sticking with me & i hope you’ll continue to do so !! my blogroll is linked in case i missed someone. if you have multiple blogs i tried to pick your most active one or the one we’ve interacted on more but obvi i love them all. don’t ever forget that you are all SO important & don’t be afraid to reach out bc i love making buds on here !!

THE MILITIA :

        ( the ones that allow me to bug them out-of-character & put up w/ my shenanigans )

                          flooredunder | serxnavdw | offireandrebellion | earthsfirst

ofvalors | xunanchored | ibearithechoosesmechanicismsuchpoise | sheruledtragedyfallen | incxndiagemikai | indemniify | asceticvalorcrescentcityheraskaibraveofdamagedhearts | granxaire | xnjolras | rulearchy | kxboomartemisfallingnctscared | formidarebeautifulintensedistruust

THE DELINQUENTS :

        ( the ones i love seeing on my dash & would love to get to know better / interact more! )

ahangedman | clairevoirbloodiedwolf | illripyourthroat | earthmedic | flyjaherkillsteelwiingeddarkinherheartbltten | furiiosa | fatedtoendure | guardianiismnevermisseshuntality | awesomegaydardeathscatalystexplcsivetechgcnius | hangingmcn | fadedsolace | laidre | pawcd | wolfbychoiceraekenology | oliverqxeenwaveringhumanitydefiantqueen | rcbelqueen | stiigma | lionswrath | aboycries | kinginnuendo | bloodyknucklxs | changemebackwolfturned | puckisms | alldoctorly | witherbelle | sucksbut | animaliisticmindclot | theraptorguy | voskreshenii | gentillesse | ofthievxry | wayfaringmoments | groundfallen | ofthnetos | changedsongbirdofsentencefragments | pxrcelain | assassincanary+ blogroll

THANK YOU

Originally posted by endlesstabi

Thank you to everyone who considers me a decent enough blog to follow because honestly I am such trash but like good trash ya know? Like the kind of trash you keep around because it’s sentimental and shit but you have no real use for it. I’m honestly so happy to have this community of people to spend time with. I love each and every one of you. I want to name names but don’t want to leave anyone out or tag blogs because who am I, this tiny fly, to point out the giants among us? Ah heck, I’ll do what I want.

Mutuals (these senpais have noticed me like why but I love you): @officialyanghyunsuk @jiyong-trash @croatoan-the-line @annaflowerflowerflower @ellanathrose @mutantkpop @mybbtheory @taeyangspecs @whalien94 @yoonbun @sexy-tabi @v-i-bb10 @goldndiamonds88 @ingridchoibang @todae-cute @tejinzs @yg-fam-fashionistas

Favorite blogs without whom I wouldn’t make it through the day (I’m sorry if you aren’t mentioned don’t take it personal I love youuuuu): @officialyanghyunsuk @mousiessisden @taeyangspecs @bigbangersball @daesungstrash @choiseunghnngh @sexy-tabi @croatoan-the-line @g2dae @h1gh-h1gh @jiyongs-g-thong @koreanghetto @seungri-claus @seungrifeels @toit @youngbaebae @yougotmeatbang @youngbaesthetic @ajustc