i didnt like it as much as i thought i would

anonymous asked:

I notice that in a lot of your art, you put a lot of detail into shading around the eyelids and nose. What would your art look like without that?

well i thought about it for a while on what that would look like if my recent art would look without those details. then i was looking through though some of my art and i realized that it would just look like my older art style from late 2015 to mid 2016. 

i noticed that the way i drew my noses didnt really give me enough “room” to put in a lot of details (but you can tell im trying tho heheh) and most of of the time my headshapes were very ,, “squished” and in a way to where i really didnt have enough room to do much of anything with the features. And at the time i didnt really know how to shade faces all that well so the way i would shade the nose would just make it look in-caved and awkward. 

now im gonna put my recent art here as a sort of comparison

(keep in mind i tried picking the art that clearly shows the details in the eyelids and the noses the most. i promise that not all of the people i draw look sleepy 24/7 …………. or at least i dont think they do…………. i tend to draw the sleepy look a lot…. idk)
because you mention the detail to the eyes and nose i started to realized that ive been adding more to those aspects because i now have room to do so. Cuz my faceshapes have become less squished and more realistic looking (and less baby like haha) 

thank you so much for the input! it really got my head gears turning!! 

2

so i was thinking abt how the Reveal™ changes things (whats new) and im just. laughing so much. i laughed at this scene the first time round cause he sounds so pouty and offended and i thought that was because yeah viktor he has confidence in himself and just assumed yuuri would like it etc etc but now its even funnier cause viktor’s just going “you stripped and grinded on me and asked me to be your coach and i flew halfway across the world to accept the offer and???you dare????to look like you didnt enjoy it???????? i came here to have a good time and im honestly feeling so attacked right now” im dying please send help

2

Nina huffed out a little laugh. “It’s okay,” she said at last. “I would have thought about it, too.”
He got to his feet and offered her his hand. “I’m Matthias.”
“Nina,” she said, taking it. “Nice to make your acquaintance.”

5

I dont usually make comic strips and im really bad at it. But at some point this depressing thoughts just consumed me. 

(this will be a long rant and post)**As much as I dont want it to get to me, it does. And its really hard to get away. Im no saint either, I can get hurt and I can get jealous. I have had so many thoughts when seeing other artist or cosplayers, eventhough I tried not to think badly sometimes It just comes. I have had so many thoughts where I see other artists and feel that my art is not good enough or sometimes think that why some people get recognized more than what I do? As much as I dont care about notes or likes to be honest I do sometimes, because it still gets to me that the more likes and notes u get, the better your art is. I put so many details, i took so many days but it didnt get as much appreciation as I thought it would be. Sometimes I feel that I tried my best and I put a lot of accuracy to my costumes, I make it as neat as possible, as straight as possible and as accurate shape as possible. But people just dont look at it and dont appreciate it. But again I cant expect people to look at these stuffs and expect them to like my stuffs. “Do what you like and if you put your heart enough people will for sure notice!” thats what people say, but in reality it doesnt work like that. I just cant help thinking that my stuffs are not good enough. Is it my personality sometimes? is it my art? do they not appeal? do people not like it? what do ppl think about it? I just cant get my head around it. This goes on and on, I cried and Ive gone through depression because of this. There are so many things I want to say but I dont think its necessary to put all in here.

However, As much as these things consumed me. Ill go back and see the people that supports me too. It might not be as much as other people have, but They mean a lot to me. All these messages I got from my store review, tumblr messages, comments and etc. I read them all. I never really thank enough for it. Its selfish of me to think about all these negativity, but sorry that i couldnt help it. But again, because of you guys, no matter how many times I go through these stages, I stands up again. Like I say I cant thank you enough for all your supports, they always made my day and it whats keep me going!.

So from the bottom of my heart I would like to THANK ALL OF YOU for supporting me up until now, It keeps me motivated and I will try to do better to improve!

Im posting this to remind me also to never forget the support ive received and hopefully I can lessen all these negative thoughts in the future.

Hockey Storytime

So I was out to watching UFC on Saturday night with my cousin and his friends and one of them told me what has to be the best story I’ve ever heard.

So these guys work at Canada’s Wonderland (It’s like Six Flags but in Toronto if y’all don’t know) during the fall season when Halloween Haunt is going on, they’re all clowns like it’s terrifying and I literally never go but that’s beside the point this isn’t about me. Anyway, apparently in the park there’s a private little building with a spot called the Maple Leaf Lounge for celebrities and people having private functions and all that.

For Nazem Kadri’s birthday apparently the team thought it would be a great idea to throw him a surprise party at Haunt (which is honestly pretty sick I wish people did shit like that for me wtf.) So this kid I was hanging out with was ONE OF FOUR OUT OF THE WHOLE STAFF CHOSEN TO SCARE THE ENTIRE MAPLE LEAFS ROSTER ESSENTIALLY. 

Here’s where I started dying: Maple Leafs #1 Superstar Defenseman Morgan Rielly was scared to the point he ran out of the building. I think what happened was my friend had scared him first because he’s a clown and clowns are fucking creepy before someone with what looked like a severed hand literally chased him outside. 

Apparently how it worked was they went and bothered them for 15 minutes and then got a 15 minute break and that repeated while they were in the room. When the four of them walked past the building, apparently Mo was freaking out (and crying a little??) with three other players surrounding him in order for the clowns not to get back to him. The top defenseman of the Toronto Maple Leafs, a man who is still being considered for captaincy, being protected by three teammates, because clowns.

Morgan Rielly, not scared of taking on the entire Vancouver Canucks roster but will shit in plain sight of a clown

i didnt wanna have to do this.. coz 1. spoilers and 2. it’s been 6 hours and I’m still emotional. but i need to yell about hwarang for a sec okay.

SPOILERS DONT READ ON IF U HAVENT WATCHED EPISODE 18:

Keep reading

3

aoi: skye??? what are you doing here (are you crying?)
skye: I’m sorry… I didn’t have time to tell you but, I’m moving
a: HUH? WHERE? YOU DIDNT EVEN TELL ME??? I THOUGHT WE WERE BUDS???

skye: I’m sorry… I’m moving to Mt.Pyre, I needed change I guess…
aoi: hey its ok… don’t tell anyone, but I’m leaving too!

skye: What? You didn’t tell me either? (…hypocrite) 
aoi: If they knew I, the prince of Ghosts, left? My people, they would cry!
skye: uh, I’m sure they would have been fi-
aoi: FOR THAT REASON IT HAD TO BE hush hush- your know what i mean.

aoi: I’M GOING TO OPEN A SIMPLE CUPCAKE SHOP! Far away from responsibility and the pressure of being ROYALTY! 
skye: Well, Aoi, I’m sure your loyal subjects will miss you very much.
aoi: ah, yeah I’m going to miss them too…

aoi: you’re moving Mt.Pyre right? I’ll move there too! We’ll go together!
skye: you didn’t even know where you were going?
aoi: (no I was probably just gonna go back home) Now I do tho! I wan’t to go with you!

victuuri proposal alsjdfla

like ive missed you so much and i want to stay with you forever x3

O M G BLESS MAKKACHIN IS OKAY IVE ONLY BEEN QUESTIONING IT THE ENTIRE EPISODE

VICTORRRRRRRRR BABE

EEP SEEING THEM RUNNING TO EACH OTHER NEVER GETS OLD 

VICTORRRR EEP

makkachin such a good boy sooo cute but ahh that fluffy hug i loved the swoosh to victors coat which is why i included this one hehe

but eep yess look at the lovebirds reunited again also ngl i thought itd be hilarious if yuuri hugged makkachin instead of victor first LOL

ahhhhh yesss dont give up on him either of you please

THIS MAN HE KISSED HIS HAND AND I SWOONED/SCREAMED LIKE OMG WHAT IS HE GONNA SAY 

ahem MORE SCREMAINGGGGGG yuuri has grown up so much and saying his thoughts very clearly that hes the one who proposed to victor i never would have expected but ahhhh 

like yes yuuri you did say that ; u ; 

and its at times like these where hes the cutest

VICTORRRR like whispering in his ear this line as well like my heart he didnt want any of us to survive

yessss go go go and aww makkachin wants to be a part of the hug tooo 

2

VICTUURI WAS LEGITIMATELY MY FIRST AND ONLY HEALTHY SHIP.

Like. ALL my ships are problematic (ranging from obsessive to hate and dominance and shit and that’s mostly because that’s how the characters are towards each other with no canon romantic relationship). And then THIS AWESOME SHOW CAME ALONG and at first i thought it would be queer baiting. And i was OKAY with that. I had experienced so much queer baiting that I normalized it and just ACCEPTED it.

BUT THEN SHIT HAPPENED. AND ALL THESE PEOPLE CAME OUT AND I WAS SO CONFUSED BECAUSE THE BAITING WAS INTENSE AND THEN PEOPLE ANALYZED SHIT BEFORE THINGS BECAME OFFICIAL AND THEN I REALIZED IT WASNT QUEERBAITING AND I DIDNT KNOW HOW TO FEEL AND I WAS SO CONFUSED.

Now i dont know if i can go back. Yuri on Ice set the bar so high. Yuuri and Victor set the bar so high.

These fictional characters opened my eyes that there is such a thing as a loving relationship that isnt shadowed by a need to dominate and make their s/o bleed.

I know I still love my other ships but a new light has been shined on them.

I don’t I CAN go back to accepting queerbaiting shows. I don’t WANT to.

At the end of the day, Yuri on Ice made it to my favorites in anime and ships and i just…..i just needed to let that out.

anywhom i do not care about the quality of the thoughts i share at all anymore have some Garbage:

  • so izzy and clary are the grossest sappiest couple u have ever met in ur whole life. if simon and izzy’s brothers didnt love them so much they would be straight up murdered they’re 2 cute
    • also luke is like clary as ur dad i approve of ur gf she’s great but as a person with two ears being forced to listen to this flirting get out of here ur disgusting
  • they flirt Constantly like they’re not dating yet 
  • izzy’s favorite thing to do is ask clary for kisses and clary likes to ask “why should i?”
    • one time izzy answers by flexing her arms and being like “here’s reason one and reason two”
    • clary’s gf is so buff she’s too lesbian for this shit,, ofc her arms are enough of a reason for them to make out for half an hour
    • jace and simon are gagging in the background
  • simon jokingly asking clary if she’s trying a new way of applying lipstick bc kissing izzy leaves red lipstick smudges Everywhere
  • esp on her neck B Y E

i knew i was at my lowest point when i was depressed because as soon as i opened my eyes in the morning i would just be mad that i had no choice but to live through another day, like my own existence was pissing me off because i never asked to be alive and deal wit all the shit i was going through. i was never given a choice, youre just born and then pretty much forced to live life and the thought of that just made me angry. and it was shitty because i hated feeling that way but i didnt know how to stop at the time, and then i would just blame myself for not having control over my emotions, so it was just a vicious cycle of hatred and sadness that never seemed to end.

Talking about jjba and listening to other people talk about jjba was WAY more fun than I ever thought it would end up being

its FUN TO TALK ABOUT

its fun to talk about just to talk about characters and how cool shit was

its fun to talk about just about its PLACE in the world

its fun to talk about as an ARTIST and to talk about artistically 

its fun to talk about with humor and ive joked about getting into jojos “for the memes” in the past but in all reality even if i didnt like the series that much the jokes and references I GET NOW. 

The atmosphere of awesome over the top wackiness thats had THIRTY YEARS to cement itself in pop culture and work its way into our lives is just fantastic. Its FUN.  Jojos is fucking fun.  I think thats the biggest think I’ve taken from it.  I love seeing how it influences people and how its variety provides so much to different fans.  You can analyze brilliant characters and artistic originality, and track the development of arakis writing and art over the last three decades, and how its influenced so so so much other media. And then you can turn around and laugh at poop jokes.  It takes itself JUST seriously enough.  Its always just wacky enough that you can have a goddamn blast and always know a huge “WHAT!?!?!?!? :D” is around the corner, but theres always an impending “W H A T  D8”  in the works too.  

Like I was looking for something like this and I’m mad at myself for taking so long to jump on board.

2

seven friendships [2/7] jem carstairs & will herondale, the infernal devices

Jem’s eyes had widened, and then he’d laughed, a soft laugh. “Did you think I did not know you had a secret?” he’d said. “Did you think I walked into my friendship with you with my eyes shut? I did not know the nature of the burden you carried. But I knew there was a burden.” He’d stood up. “I knew you thought yourself poison to all those around you,” he’d added. “I knew you thought there to be some corruptive force about you that would break me. I meant to show you that I would not break, that love was not so fragile. Did I do that?”
Will had shrugged once, helplessly. He had almost wished Jem would be angry with him. It would have been easier. He’d never felt so small within himself as he did when he faced Jem’s expansive kindness. He thought of Milton’s Satan. Abashed the Devil stood, / And felt how awful goodness is. “You saved my life,” Will had said.

thank you voltron

i love voltron. a lot. like- i dont think people understand why though.
the day i was going to actually commit suicide was the day the trailer was released
after that? my emotions felt like hell. they still are lmao- but theyve gotten better. thanks to voltron.
reason why i didnt die in january? voltron. it came out on the ending month. kept me going because i have to see where its going. where my safest thing is going.
when i was left alone for so long? when they left me? made me feel like shit? voltron. i watched voltron all that night. thought of what shiro or keith or lance would do to help me calm down.
i can relate so much to voltron. lance and his insincerities- i have the same ones. wonder why i love lance so much? thats why.
shiro and how strong he is /after/ he survives? he is such a strong character and im so happy they imputed him. it showed me that i could actually survive.
coping ships and nice people- cheery art and loving family pictures. even the galra! they are just so perfect.
this valentines day i want to say thank you voltron.
you truly saved me- thank you so much.

my love lied so much to me, oh my poor heart i litarally feel sorry for myself this very second ok i do a lot of that anyway but inside i know i fully acknowledge that i am at fault 99.99% of the time and eventhough i’ll pretend like i’m not because my emotions just get the best of me what can i say, i try to stop myself when i notice bad behaviour i behave (yell less for instance or communicate my thoughts differently whatever! point is he really really didnt have to lie about such stupid things i’d have looked over i’d just have liked to know the truth which is insane anyway why would i care still love sucks this kinda love sucks abuse sucks
people poke in places that are so eventhough they still know it’s sore there, and the only fucking reason is that
people hurt people

forbidden love chapter one {demi lovato fanfiction}

“y/n! are you ready! we are going to be late!” my mom shouts from downstairs. i sit on my bed looking at my bedroom of 17 years, every mark and dent along the wall has a small story behind it. such as the purple blotch behind my door, when i was about six i thought it would of been a great idea to paint my room my favorite color so i took my moms bright purple nail polish and started painting. man was my mom pissed. my eyes glance to the huge hole in one of my closet doors, i remember when that happened like it was yesterday. my dad was drunk off his ass as usual, shouting at me, my mom came in trying to protect me. dad didnt like that very much so he punched my closet door, inches from my moms face. i was about eight when that happened, we spend the weekend at my grandmas house.

 “y/n are you coming?!” my mom shouts walking into my room snapping me back into reality. “yeah.” i reply pushing one of the stacks of boxes to the side reaching for my shoes. “we have like two hours till we have to be there.” i say passing my mom at the door. “thank you time keeper, but if i do remember correctly we dont know where the house is.” my mom replies ever so sarcastically.  “time keeper thats a new one.” i laugh climbing into the car. my mom smiles walking towards the drivers seat. my mom has been seeing her business partner for about a year now, his name is eric. he finally popped the question a few weeks ago, after that they decided it would be a great idea to move in together. they also thought it would be a great idea to tell me this past weekend. we are going to see the place my mom hasnt stopped talking about ever since she saw it online. one last thing they dropped on me this weekend is eric has a daughter my age, shes moving in with us. she was with her mom three towns over but wants to be with her dad. all the information flooding my head makes me feel like my head might just pop off. 

after stopping at numerous gas stations to get directions, to this place we finally make it 30 minutes early. “how beautiful.” my mom smiles leaning forward in her seat to see the place. i look about the neighborhood, its spotless, neat, clean, all the houses are perfect with their sharp cut rose bushes and bright green grass. its a place where me and my mom always dreamed of living and now its actually happening. i look to my mom as she smiles, looking up to the house still, i hope nothing happens to ruin this for her. 

my moms phone vibrates, “they are almost here.”  “they?” i reply. “yes demi is with him.” she tells me typing away on her phone. suddenly a rush of nervousness runs through me, for what reason iam not sure. i watch erics white camaro pull up behind us through the review mirror. “be nice.” she quickly says pushing the car door open. “when am i not.” i say to myself as climb out of the car. i walk around to see eric kiss my mom on her cheek. “y/n.” he smiles. “hey eric.” i say looking back down to my phone. my mom clears her throat probably telling my to put my phone away but i brush it off. “this is my daughter demi.” erics says as his daughter walks towards us. once i look up to her i cant pull my eyes away. her breast is clear to everyone, and her skirt is so short iam sure if she bends down enough we could see her whole ass. look iam straight, at least i think i am. but after seeing demi i may have to rethink my sexuality a bit more…..

 “how are you helen?” she asks my mom as they hug. “good and you demi?” my mom smiles. seconds pass before they turn to me. “introduce yourself .” my mom says.  “iam umm y/n .” i say in such a soft voice i barely hear myself. “y/n” she repeats. i nod was she walks towards me. “nice to meet you.” she smiles pulling me into a hug. our chest smash together and her hand slides down right above my ass. she pulls away with a small smirk on her face. “c’mon girls lets look at the new house.” eric tell us, opening the front door. the real estate agent is standing in the empty kitchen with her clipboard and papers in hand. “welcome welcome!” she smiles a little to brightly. “let me show you around.” she says motioning towards the living room where there is a small hall that leads to the master bedroom. my mom and eric follow but i travel upstairs to see two bedrooms and right in between them is the bathroom.

 i look in the bedroom to the far left. i walk in and sit on the window seat looking down to the backyard. its much bigger than at the old house, each room is twice as big the old house as well. “so do you live around here?” demi asks me, i turn towards her. “no actually across town.” i reply sitting up straighter. “a house like this?” she asks curious. “no much smaller.” i tell her, listening to voices enter the backyard. “they both really love it.” she goes on. i nod,” yeah i can tell.” looking down to eric and my mom holding hands looking about the yard. “well this is going to be my room.” she smiles. “no i think i was here first if you dont recall like four minutes ago.” i laugh standing up. she just smiles walking closer to me. “i dont recall sorry and i can think of a few things i want to do on this window seat.” she softly says with a smile on her lips coming with in a few inches from me. i lean against the wall behind me for support as she places her hands on my waist. “what are you doing.” i whisper grabbing her wrists. “if you want me to stop just tell me.” she whispers as her hands slip pass my grip and up my shirt. believe me i wanted her to keep going but this is so entirely wrong. “demi.” i say grabbing her hands on my bare stomach. she smiles, pulling my hands to her ass. she lays my palms on her ass, my fingertips brush right underneath her undies. she moans softly, reaching up to my chest. “we cant are are step sisters.” i nearly moan pulling away. “oh ill make you change your mind trust me.” she smirks pulling away then walking towards the top of the stairs. she pauses there a moment then looks back to me, then lifts up her skirt to show me her black laced undies that cover only the top of her ass. she is going to be the death of me. i stay leaning against the wall trying to pull my thoughts together, re imagining her hands on me.  

“y/n?” my moms voice from downstairs calls out to me. “yeah?” i answer walking towards the railing looking down to eric and my mom. “what do you think of it?” my mom asks looking around the base of the house. “its really nice.” i reply looking down to how happy she is. the real estate agent comes from the front door still holding her papers. “do you both still need time to talk?” she asks. eric wraps his hands around my moms waists. “no i think we want this one.” he smiles down to my mom, she smiles back to him. 

a week later the moving truck is parked in our new driveway. we all carry box after box into the directed place written along the top with sharpie. two hours later i sit on my plain mattress, looking at all my belongings, poking out of the stacked boxes and empty bookshelf in the corner of my room.  a small knock comes from my door. “come in.” i reply leaning back against my wall since the head board of my bed is sitting in on the window seat. “just wanted to see if you were alright.” erics voice says once the door opens fully. “yeah iam fine.” i smile as politely as possible. “well, me and ….. your mom are going to drive the truck back to the rental place, we are bring back pizza.” he says, some what nervous. “umm yeah okay.” is all i can say. minutes pass when i finally hear the loud truck engine, running down the street.after changing into shorts and a large tee shirt i make my way downstairs, poking through the boxes in the kitchen to find a glass. after nearly dropping a box labled “fragile” i finally find the glass cup. i fill it with water pulling it to my lips. “you have some sexy lips y/n.” demi says from behind me. i almost spit back into the glass, as i hear her words. she laughs, walking from the kitchen entrance towards me. “your crazy you know that.” i reply sitting my glass down. “why am i crazy?” she asks standing in front of me.”because you think i would do something with you.”  “and you wouldnt?”   “no.” i lie, within a week of being around her i would drop to my knees in front of her and do anything she asked. she smiles as my eyes scan over her pj’s. “you like?” she smirks looking down to her tank top that makes her breasts look huge, and shorts are way shorter than mine. “there alright.” i simply say, grabbing my glass again filling it with water. her hands wrap around my waist. “oh we both know how much you want to rip them off.” she whispers in my ear. i watch her through the reflection of the window as her mouth, slides down my neck. “demi.” i say, more like moan. her hands slide inside my shorts, rubbing me through my undies. “please let me.” she begs, pushing my undies aside an inserting two fingers inside me. i gasp as i feel how wet i am. “well your body wants it.” she smiles against my neck. i breath heavily, gripping the edge of the counter top. she starts twirling her fingers. “demi please.” i beg. iam not sure if iam begging her to stop or to keep going. she pumps faster, lightly touching my clit with her thumb. she sucks down on my neck, causing my to moan out. her pulls her hand away, and turns me around. she has a small smirk as she falls to her knees. she grips the sides of my shorts, tugging them down my legs. i step out of them, watching as she leans forwards kissing my inner thigh. she pulls my legs apart and licks the pussy lips once causing a shiver to rush through me. my hands instantly tangle in her hair. “mmmmm.” she hums, opening my pussy so she can go deeper into me. “ahhhh fuckk.” i moan, her head goes in small circles between my legs. she grabs the back of my thigh lifting it so it rest on the island behind her. “shit !! shit!!!” i scream with the amount of pleasure she is giving me. “please dont stop please dont stop.” i moan moving my hips with her tongue. she almost laughs holding my hips still. “you taste so good!” she mutters into my open pussy, attacking it even more. i cry out, tugging on her hair a bit. “here.” she says standing up quickly, lifting me onto the counter top then going right back to my core. once her tongue reconnects to my pussy i let out a loud moan. her hands rest on my ass pushing me forward, my legs are spread out in a “V” format. she removes her tongue and replaces it with three fingers. her lips connect to mine, i allow her to slide her tongue into my mouth giving me a taste of my pussy. i moan into the kiss, wrapping my arms around her neck. sloppy wet noises and my moans fill the entire kitchen. demi smiles into our kiss, as the knot in the pit of my stomach unravels and i moan out her name. 

she pulls away letting me recover. “told you i would change your mind.” she smiles pecking my lips. “this is crazy.” i breath out. she smiles kissing me again, as much as its crazy i dont pull away from her warm, soft lips. “but you love it.” she mumbles against my lips. i smile not able to deny it. headlights flash into the living room . “might want to put your shorts back on.” she smiles picking them up and handing them to me. “and my panties?” i ask as she still holds onto them. “i like to be teased.” she smiles coming back between my legs. “and trust me there is more where this came from.” she whispers, my legs wrap around her waist. she bites on her lower lip before connecting her lips to mine. 


♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

hope you liked it! let me know what you think & if you wanna see a chapter two thanks for reading xxxx