i didn't even play this game

my family loved truth bombs so much that we played three rounds of it and laughed our asses off the whole time. they even declared me the winner despite actually having lost because i introduced the game to them, and i was like “no…phil was the winner” because when isn’t he? so my mom made us raise a toast to philip michael lester and if that’s not the most iconic thing ever i don’t know what is

Wait for someone who bumps mouths clumsily with yours cos they’re too busy smiling to kiss you properly. Yeah. Wait for that.
—  Azra Tabassum (aka 5000letters)
Basically, This is Basically What Every Dr. Phil Episode is Basically Like Basically
  • Dr. Phil: Hello, I am Doctor Philip, and today we'll be tackling an issue that is very widespread, but rarely spoken about. Gaming addiction. Now, I know many of you know at least one person in your life who plays video games, whether that be a child or, in some cases, a spouse.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: But, when unregulated, gaming can lead to serious addiction. Today I have with me a mother who's home life has been torn apart as her very own son descended into gaming addiction.
  • Mother: *sniffing and wiping tears away* Hello, doctor. Will you cure my son?
  • Dr. Phil: Well, dear, that's... uhh. Let's just bring the boy out already.
  • *dramatic music plays*
  • Gamer: My name is Gregg, I'm 19 years old, I'm a gaming addict, and I don't give a f*ck.
  • Audience: *gasps*
  • Gamer: Yeah, I game for 19 to 20 hours a day and the other four hours I use for looking up sick gaming strats or beating it to anime porn. I once sucked off a dude because he offered me minecraft diamonds. I don't give a sh*t, I would've sucked him off even if he didn't have the diamonds.
  • Audience: *gasps louder*
  • Gamer: Do I hate women? Yes, I hate women. I've emailed Anita Sarkeesian my address. She knows where I am if she wants to fight me. Feminists, square the fuck up. People always ask why I don't do anything other than gaming. I ask them why don't they mind their own f*cking business. I don't think I have a problem. Dr. Phil can honestly eat my whole an*s.
  • Gamer: *walks out onto the stage*
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: F*ck all y'all! I don't give a f*ck! *flips off the audience*
  • Dr. Phil: Please take a seat, son.
  • Gamer: *sits very disrespectfully*
  • Mother: *starts bawling*
  • Dr. Phil: Son, do you think that was acceptable behavior?
  • Gamer: The only behavior I care about is the behavioral patterns for enemies in the S.T.A.L.K.E.R. series. I love video games: Master chief, Mario, uhm, Blinx the Cat... Blasto. Love those guys!
  • Audience: *boos*
  • Gamer: I don't care! You think I care! F*ck all y'all!
  • Dr. Phil: All these people are booing you, doesn't that make you feel bad?
  • Gamer: Are you deaf? Have I not articulated the fact that I absolutely 100% do not care about anything except for video games? I. DON'T. GIVE. A. F*CK.
  • Mother: He's always like this, there's no changing him. It didn't used to be this way... just *starts bawling harder*
  • Dr. Phil: I think there is a way to change him, and we'll find out more about that after these messages.
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays*
  • *The lights dim and every goes empty eyed and slack-jawed*
  • Gamer: Heh, this is weird. *nudges mom and whispers to her* Hey, we're getting paid for this, right. Hey, mom? ...Mom?
  • Mother: *completely unresponsive*
  • Dr. Phil: *completely unresponsive*
  • Audience: *completely unresponsive*
  • Gamer: Heh... this is REALLY weird. *looks around nervously*
  • Audience member: Hey!
  • Gamer: Huh?
  • Audience Member: I'm in the audience! Over here! My arms are strapped to the chair! You have to help me!
  • Gamer: *runs to the audience member*
  • Audience Member: Thank god, I thought I was the only one here left with any brains.
  • Gamer: *hastily undoing the straps* What the fuck is going on?
  • Audience Member: I don't know, but this definitely isn't Dr. Phil's show.
  • Gamer: Then what is it?
  • Audience Member: No clue, but we have to get out of here before the commercial breaks ends.
  • Gamer: *successfully undoes the straps*
  • Audience Member: C'mon! Let's go. *grabs the gamer by the arm*
  • Gamer: *resists* Wait a fucking minute. Why am I supposed to trust you?
  • Audience Member: Because I'm normal and everyone else is braindead if you haven't noticed.
  • Gamer: Yeah, but I'm not going anywhere until I know what's going on. Being on Dr. Phil is a huge opportunity for me to, y'know, advertise my brand. I'm a gamer if you haven't noticed.
  • Audience Member: Are you insane? Have you had a look around you? Does this anything happening right now seem normal to you? Who cares about your "brand". Do you even remember how you got here?
  • Gamer: Well... now that you mention, I can't really remember exactly.
  • Audience Member: Yeah, now let's get the fuck out of here.
  • *the gamer and audience member run through the back exit into the hallways*
  • *the Dr. Phil theme blares as the show returns from commercial break*
  • Gamer: My ears!
  • Audience Member: Move it! *jerks gamer's arm*
  • Gamer: Okay, calm down.
  • *the entire audience screams in unison*
  • Gamer: What the fuck is that!?
  • Audience Member: It's the reason we're running! Quick, in here!
  • *the duo duck into a cramped broom closest*
  • Gamer: Listen, you have to tell me what the fuck is going on right now!
  • Audience Member: Shh.
  • Gamer: Don't shush me!
  • Audience Member: *covers the gamer's mouth*
  • *agonized screaming and violently rumbling passes by the broom closest*
  • Gamer: Holy shit!
  • Audience Member: Stop yelling.
  • Gamer: How can I not yell when it sounds the gates of hell just passed by us!
  • Audience Member: You want it to turn back around and find us?
  • Gamer: Alright. I'll calm down... I'll. *start sobbing*
  • Audience Member: Please, please stop crying. You're too loud.
  • Gamer: I can't! I'm under a lot of stress!
  • Audience Member: You'll be dead if you don't shut the fuck.
  • Gamer: I never wanted any of this, I just wanted to go on Dr. Phil so people would recognize me on YouTube and I could become a popular Let's Player!
  • Audience Member: If you don't shut up right now, I'll-
  • *a snake bites the audience member's neck*
  • Audience Member: *eyes roll up*
  • Gamer: *screams like a baby*
  • *snakes slither under the closet door*
  • Gamer: *stumbles out of the closet and falls into hallway covered with snakes* Fuck me! Fuck me!
  • Gamer: *attempts to run away but falls beneath the snakes and into and empty void*
  • *agonized screaming echoes from all around*
  • Gamer: Am I in hell? I have to be in hell. You don't fall through a pool of snakes and wind up anywhere else but hell.
  • Dr. Phil: THERE IS NO HELL.
  • Gamer: Doc, is that you? If this isn't hell then where am I?
  • Dr. Phil: YOU'RE IN MY REALM SON. *Dr. Phil's face appears glowing in the distance, his eyes are empty sockets and his mouth hangs open*
  • Gamer: What the fuck are you?
  • Dr. Phil: I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • Gamer: You're not Dr. Phil!
  • Dr. Phil: I NEVER SAID I WAS, SON. *a wall of gray human bodies lights up surrounding Dr. Phil's massive head, dr. phil's giant snake body slithers towards the gamer and opens its third eye* I'M DOCTOR PHILIP.
  • *the wall of bodies screams in unison as Dr. Phil devours the gamer*
  • *Dr. Phil theme plays loudly*
  • Dr. Phil: THE NEXT EPISODE IS STARTING. I'M LATE. *slithers into the wall of bodies and his snake body slowly transforms into a normal Dr. Phil's body*
  • Dr. Phil: *crawls onto the stage*
  • Dr. Phil: *dusts himself off* Woo, I went on quite an adventure.
  • Audience: *laughs*
  • Dr. Phil: I'm glad we can all find some time in our lives to laugh, but today's episode is covering something that is most certainly not a laughing matter. It's one of the most serious addictions striking America today and it's rarely talked about. I'm talking about people who love to pee on their mattresses and then pay people exorbitant amounts of money to suck their disgusting mattresses clean.
  • Audience: ... *someone clears their throat*
  • Dr. Phil: What's the matter?
  • Cameraguy: Spsss, Doc. That's not what the episode is about. It's about people with terrible gambling issues.
  • Dr. Phil: Oh, ah, fuck! Cut to commercial!
3

Don’t worry. No one’s going under the ship today. Though, the thought had crossed my mind. No, I’m quite certain I can do better than that.

Phil's Prank | 17.08.17
  • Dan holds out his hand for Phil to place another thing for him to guess, like the What's in my hand challenge.
  • Phil: Last one. Eyes closed. Ready?
  • Dan: What are you doing to do? Are you going to put a banana down my shirt?
  • Phil sprays Dan with his succulent hydration pump thingy. Dan barely startles but Phil bursts out in high pitched laughter. Dan looks at him fondly.
  • Phil: I got you with a prank...
  • Dan: Okay, did you get me
  • Phil: I sprayed you in the face!
  • Dan: Oh, you got me so hard there.
  • Phil continues with his gleeful laughter.
  • Dan: *high pitched voice* Does that count as getting someone with a prank? Actually...
  • Someone in the chat: Yes, Phil!
  • Dan: Actually, I'm just well-hydrated now. I didn't even dislike that.
  • Phil: Did that not like make you jump?
  • Dan: Nah, mate, I'm wearing a hat.
  • Phil: What?
  • Dan: This is two main channel videos that could be. What's in your hand challenge and the pranking my friend with the succulent atomiser prank.
  • Phil: I didn't even want to play that game that much. It was all leading up to spraying you in the face.
  • Both continue to smile and chuckle like idiots.
  • Someone in chat: Good job, Phil.
  • Phil: Thanks.
  • Me playing FFXV for the first time: what a game! This is glorious! This is epic! So fun! The music! The graphic! My feels OmGGg i cry for everything, these characters are so good
  • Me playing FFXV for the second time: ahahaha what does that even mean. ok, but they didn't explain basically anything. Where are connections. Lol. Maybe they didn't had the time to finish to write this scene. Ehy. No. XD Is there even something actually canon. What the

anonymous asked:

What's the post that people are talking about? I'm really confused bc I didn't see it (I assume you deleted it)

in the new game, Dream Daddy, you’re able to play as a trans man, and there was a post of people getting excited about it (for obvious reasons).

the top middle body reminded me of a character from a TV show named carl, so I modified the image a bit to this

people were upset because they felt I was trying to detract from the post, so I deleted it cuz i didnt care enough about the joke to try to defend myself if people were upset by it.

in my defense, it wasn’t even on one of the trans bodies (the trans bodies are the ones on the bottom row). regardless, yea it’s gone.

Sorry not sorry if I spam a lot of Gendry posts on my blog, but it’s been four freaking years since I’ve seen my beautiful bastard boy and all the feelings are coming back

Name something scarier than being flanked while playing support i’ll wait 

st4ndarsh  asked:

sorry if SP questions bother you but i think youll be pleased to see that kenny is back! i missed him and stan too and im glad to see them more often in the latest season. also i think i started following for south park art and im glad to see you dabbling a little bit (even if it is just the one creek art). love your art and hope to see more!

nono its okay
YESYESYES!!!!! i missed them too YESS! (but i already was happy to see Tweek cuz he reminds me of old SP eps)
KENNY MA BOI SOBSsss
i even thought to draw
and thank you! о з о (i draw often but i never post drawings HA)

one of my all time favorite things about WW!Ganondorf’s design is that, in a game called Wind Waker, where wind is a central element and theme, his eyebrows are shaped like the symbol for wind within the game

2

I actually had this ‘done’ a few months ago but when I tried to line it properly…it looked bad, so I just gave up on it for a while.

But since drawing’s still difficult for me these days I figured I’d try and fix it up a bit? Colouring is probably the most fun, I swear.

Confession: Tiki is half the reason I started playing Heroes, her design’s way too cute!