i didn't even have to do anything to make this be a thing

cinderella: redo

so i was watching cinderella while doing my nails and waiting for them to dry which was clearly a Mistake because now i can’t help but think -

the evil stepmother was always evil, okay. say her abuse of her own daughters was different than that of cinderella’s - but it was still abuse. giving them impossible expectations, telling them they were never good enough, never pretty enough, never smart enough. and then she gets married, and anastasia and drizella are ecstatic because this man seems kind and warm and maybe just maybe he can temper their mother, maybe with him around she won’t be so cruel. so they’re on their very best behavior in the beginning, they do just as their mother taught - they trot out their best upper court manners in an attempt to get their new stepfather to like them. but it just comes off as cold and snooty and they’re trying, they are, they’re just bad at it. and they see how he is with cinderella, the smiling girl their own age, and they are jealous. they don’t mean to be, they try not to be, they know it isn’t becoming of young ladies. but she gets hugs and kisses and affection and they get rulers slapped on their hands when they reach for desert and sharp jabs to their sides when they slouch and - soon they hate cinderella, not for anything she’s done, but for what she has and they dont

but then her father dies. and it’s all a tumble of things and cinderella is crying and they’ve lost their only chance at escaping their mother’s clutches and it’s terrible. and everything settles and there’s no reason to be jealous anymore but resentment is hard to let go of and they don’t know what to do. they’re only kids too after all. and they’re so terribly bad at comforting people, they can do flowery words and know all the right bows but cinderella is so sad and they just don’t know what to do with that, because they’re supposed to be sisters but they’re not even friends

and slowly but surely their mother starts abusing cinderella, starts making her a maid in her own home, and she’s their mother, what are anastasia and drizella supposed to do? she rules them with an iron fist, and cinderella doesn’t even like them anyway, it’s none of their business.

except one night anastasia crawls into her sister’s bed in the middle of the night and wakes her up. “i was thirsty,” she explains, eyes wide and shiny, and they’re bad at this with other people but drizella has no problems with pulling anastasia into her arms. the younger girl clutches her sister and continues, “i was thirsty and i went down to the kitchen to get some water and - and cinderella is still up! she’s doing the dishes, and she should be asleep, mom is going to make her make breakfast in the morning and -” she cuts herself off with a hiccup and whispers, “it’s not fair.”

“life isn’t fair,” drizella says, echoing one of their mother’s favorite phrases. but her sister is staring at her with wet eyes, and it’s not like their mother is likely to get up before sunrise anyway, she hates waking up, so she pulls herself and anastasia out of bed and off they go.

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7

ok heAR ME OUT: Voltron Art School AU (totally self-indulgent and based off the art school I’m going to coughcough nvm) 

I wrote many cool n’ pretty wild headcanons for it so uhhhh, read under the cut: 

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scutellatebooted  asked:

Hi Doc! Love reading your blog, I found you first through the Lucifer story (reminded me of a friend of mine actually) and then again through your mermaid post and have been hanging around ever since. I looked thru your archive but didn't find this question so hopefully it hasn't been asked before: what is it about horse anatomy that makes their legs so (seemingly) fragile? You'd think being as big as they are, they'd be more all-around solid. Thanks for reading, have a good one!

The horse, Equus caballus, is one of my favorite arguments against Intelligent Design. I’ve spoken before about why I no longer see them, but even as a student I would wonder why and how this species existed when there were apparently so many things that could go wrong with its own anatomy, especially next to something tough like a trusty cow.

I don’t know how it’s possible to believe in a benevolent, loving, wise creator when creatures like the horse come to exist.

So I’m going to use your question as an excuse to write a post that had been on my mind for a while:

Things That Are Wrong With Horses

The basic structure of a horse has a few significant design flaws.

  1. Cannot vomit. This means that anything which would make another species sick enough to vomit results in a horse getting s distended stomach and colic, where the stomach can rupture and the horse can die. Also means symptoms of illness are hidden longer
  2. The large bowel (hind gut) of the horse is fricking huge, but can actually displace itself and bend around the wrong way, resulting in obstruction, colic and death without surgical intervention. This can commonly happen after exertion (splenic contraction) and giving birth. Colic due to nephrosplenic entrapment is particularly common after the horse has an adrenaline release, which causes the spleen to temporarily contract, and this seems like a poor design to risk death every time you spook or go for a fast run, especially in a species known for spooking and running fast.
  3. Giving birth is a fast and explosive affair in the horse. The whole pushing business should be over and  done with in about 20 minutes, however this assumes that everything is lined up just right for a normal delivery. Foals are all long legs and necks, which are easy to get tangled or bent around the wrong way. A mare is strong enough to push her foal’s feet through her uterine wall, which is death all round.
  4. Speaking of strength, sometimes horses will kick each other when they have attitude, and they can do so with enough strength to rupture each other’s spleens.
  5. When galloping most horses, best studied in thoroughbreds because they are made to gallop on a regular basis, horses routinely bash their diaphragm with such force against their liver that their liver bruises.
  6. Galloping also often makes their lungs bleed. That’s why racehorses have their head held up after a race, so you don’t see any blood come out their nose and disqualify them. Even horses that you don’t see bleed have evidence of pulmonary bleeding after a gallop if you scope them.
  7. Their leg bones are actually pretty damn tough, but the ends are spindly little things compared to the mass of musculature up top. Their legs are subjected to huge biomechanical forces when a horse runs which can often subject them to ligament damage and lameness. A fractured leg bone can heal like any other, but if a horse can’t bear weight evenly on all four legs for an extended period of time (eg after a fracture) then they are at risk of laminitis.
  8. Laminitis can cause the hoof to slough off. (Aaargh!) They can also get laminitis from eating a bit too well.
  9. Speaking of eating, they can also get colic (and risk death) from eating not enough fiber or the wrong sort of plants or from eating too much dirt.
  10. Oh, and just to mess with you, horses have a space in their head called a guttural pouch which seems to exist for no other reason as far as I can tell (okay, maybe it’s about heat regulation) other than to get fungal infections that eat through the exposed artery and cause the horse to die from blood loss through it’s nose.

And Bonus: Exquisite sensitivity to tetanus and vulnerability to Hendravirus

This list is by no means complete. I haven’t even touched on their anesthetics or drug reactions, but it’s a simple start.

Say That Again

Summary: Soulmate AU. Everyone hears a key word or phrase in their head from their soulmate, something only heard in person when the moment is right.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 2,543

Warnings: language, self-consciousness, fluff, that’s basically it

A/N: This is my submission for the lovely wonderful talented @bladebarnes’ 2k Celebration Challenge. My prompt was 35. quote: “Say that again.” I saw Baby Driver recently and couldn’t get the diner thing out of my head.

Originally posted by coporolight

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anonymous asked:

I know you didn't say anything about hating vegans or anything but are we actually doing a bad job? like is all of this just a lie and not actually helping the environment or anything :/ because one of the biggest reason for me to go vegan is cause of environmental issues and all

I don’t hate vegans, not the ones that aren’t spreading misinformation or think they are on some sort of moral high ground to everyone else. But I don’t agree with it myself because it is all superficial, without any proper action if I’m being honest.

And when there is action it’s usually targeted at the wrong issue and does more harmful then good. My main issue is that vegans see animals as very individual. They want to save every single cow or pig or chicken without thinking about it rationally or about the horrible impact that would have no important species (species that are actually vital to ecosystems). Veganism fails to see the bigger more important picture. 

“Saving” domesticated farm animals is not important. I’m sorry but it’s just not. Not when it means “saving” these animals will have drastic negative effects. 

I mean there are always ways that agricultural and animal industries can be improved. But just refusing to buy meat or use animal products don’t change anything. And realistically we’re not going to stop eating meat or producing wool ect. You have to understand that and accept it and look at ways to improve those processes not try and shut them down completely.  

And more veganism just means more demand for certain crops, which require more land clearing + more pesticides ect. Veganism is just as bad for the environment and animals as any other diet is. In a capitalist society there really isn’t any ethical consumption.

The world and the environment can’t survive under a capitalist society. Capitalism is what’s stopping us from using green energy solutions or inverting more. Not because these solutions are “expensive” or hard to make or whatever use excuses are being made. It’s because they won’t make as much money as easily. 

Just like buying honey isn’t going to “save the bees” or turning the tap off when you brush your teeth won’t save water. They’re things corporations and company’s push because they’re easy and shift the blame onto consumers and away from them. 

We need to look into real solutions. Realistic solutions that aren’t just superficial I-want-to-feel-good-without-doing-anything-too-hard “solutions” but real ones. And they need to be towards actual important significant issues.  Animals being killed for a source of food or harvesting honey or wool, is not even close to being an issue we should be worried about. 

I’m sorry that you’ve been led to think otherwise, there is alot of misinformation out there and people will lie to get their agenda across. But veganism just doesn’t help the environment. It just doesn’t. 

The 13 profiles
  • Justin foley: PROS- Most of the shit he did could be blamed on his abusive behaviour and his conflict between his debt to his friend and doing the right thing, loved his girlfriend, tried to stand up to his mom's shitty boyfriend
  • CONS- Was a rape apologist, had no balls and never stood up to his jerk best friend when he harassed both the girls he was in a relationship with,was prepared to kill Clay to protect his reputation
  • Alex Standall: PROS- Was man enough to own up to every mistake, stood up for what he believed in, whether it helped him or not, he was so guilty that he soon started showing suicidal tendencies like picking fights he knew he couldn't win or trying to drown himself in a pool, answered everything in a snarky way and sassed justin constantly, comforted clay after jeff's death, allowed justin to stay at his place despite their little rivalry, stayed friends with Jessica despite breaking up with her (albeit it was her fault), DIDN'T EXCUSED BRYCE'S RAPIST ASS
  • CONS: Broke up with jessica when she refused to have sex with him, didn't tell Hannah about their relationship and allowed her to think that they just drifted apart, dragged hannah into their fight and broke Jessica's friendship with her, humiliated hannah and objectified her, didn't correct the jocks when they implied a relationship between them both, hung out with bryce despite knowing what he did to hannah and jessica, tried to threaten clay into silence, never apologized to jessica for his behaviour, was mean to Tyler even before knowing what he did to Hannah
  • Jessica Davis: PROS: was good friends with hannah, stayed away from justin once she realized how he had let bryce rape her
  • CONS: Immediately assumed that the reason the two broke up was not because of Alex, but because of Hannah, SLAPPED HER, stood Hannah up at Monet's, got into a relationship with Alex and never told Hannah about it, got into a relationship with the guy who ruined Hannah's relationship and never told her, showed violent tendencies by hitting Justin with those metal pieces used to break the bulb, hung out with Bryce to make Justin angry
  • Tyler Down: PROS:Has reasons for his behaviour, being the social outcast and all, (not redeemable though)
  • CONS: He's a fucking creep, shows school shooter tendencies, and most probably killed Alex, need i say anything more?
  • Courtney Crimsen: PROS: none. All she cared about was her parent's and her own reputation
  • CONS: Was fake af, used Hannah to get a ride to the dance, stopped talking to Hannah the second it hurt her reputation, spread more rumours about her and hid behind the lies, WAS A RAPE APOLOGIST despite holding no affection for bryce, wasn't ready even till the end to accept her faults,fucking hate this bitch
  • Marcus Cooley: PROS: None, didn't care about anything but his reputation
  • CONS: Tried to threaten Clay into silence, stayed with Bryce despite knowing about what he did, RAPE APOLOGIST, basically sexually assaulted Hannah, was fake af with the teachers
  • Zach Dempsey: PROS: sat next to Hannah as an effort to comfort her and apologized for his friend, bought the milkshakes for her, was genuinely nice to her, most of his reactions were out of anger, tried to be nice but failed really bad, kept her note
  • CONS: Stole her notes, was one of the jocks that objectified Hannah, tried to threaten Clay into silence, had a sister but never realized how much his actions could hurt girls, hung out with Bryce despite knowing what he did to Hannah, was a rape apologist, was ready to put the whole blame on bryce
  • Ryan Shaver: PROS: was a great poet, agreed to help Hannah with poetry, tried to make amends for his mistake by buying Hannah a gift, tried to get Hannah to be confident about her work, was really (too) passionate about his 'zine, WASN'T A RAPE APOLOGIST, was blunt and called courtney out on her shit
  • CONS: arrogant, invaded Hannah's privacy
  • Clay: PROS: EVERYTHING CLAY JENSEN WAS AN IDIOT BUT HE WAS THE SWEETEST IDIOT EVER
  • CONS: was really oblivious (couldn't figure his friend was gay, didn't know what to say to Hannah etc.), was emotionally unstable, was reckless, usually too determined to do the right thing, even if he hurt himself in the process, pushed people away and grew cynical because of the tapes
  • Sheri Holland: PROS: Genuinely cared about Clay, owned up to her shit in the end
  • CONS: Tried to manipulate Clay into not listening to the tapes, hung out with Bryce despite knowing what he did, left Hannah in the middle of the night alone in some random place despite her being drunk just because she disagreed with her, (indirectly) caused the death of the purest character in the show
  • BRYCE WALKER: PROS: NONE THIS DICKWAD DESERVED TO ROT IN HELL AND CHOKE ON STAPLE PINS
  • CONS: everything he did, the fact that this rapist was even alive
  • Mr Porter: was a fucking dumbass who didn't deserve his job
The Types and Their Level of Scariness
  • <p> <b>INTJ:</b> At first they might seem worrisome because of their intense stare and nihilistic sentiments, but all it takes is one harsh critique about something important to them and they'll crumble. Their bark is infinitely worse than their bite. Will write a series of salty "blind item" blog entries about you for months. 6/10; too passive-aggressive to be truly scary.<p/><b>INFJ:</b> Hard to get to know, but when they like you, they REALLY like you and you'd better not do anything to break their trust because all of those warm, fuzzy feelings will 180 into pure end-times-level wrath. If you've ever encountered an angry INFJ, you've seen the face of the devil himself. 10/10; scary af<p/><b>ENTJ:</b> While they're capable of verbally disemboweling someone they dislike, they won't actually come after you unless they're bored and feel like starting drama for shits and giggles. Threw a punch once and didn't like it too much. Will tell you to go choke on a bag of dicks with the biggest, brightest smile on their face. 6/10; scary only in theory<p/><b>ENFJ:</b> They love you so, SO much and they want you to do your absolute BEST at EVERYTHING you EVER do like REALLY really, so when you don't meet their expectations, they will get more and more assertive about you achieving your dreams (read: their dreams) until they eventually snap and stab you to death in your sleep. 9/10; file a restraining order and you might be okay.<p/><b>INTP:</b> Too lazy to truly get mad about anything. The only really scary thing about INTPs is their complete disregard for cleanliness. You'll find Chinese takeout boxes from six months ago covered in maggots by their bed, but you won't find nary a discouraging word coming out of their mouths. Only does damage to living things in RPGs. 2/10; scary hygiene but harmless.<p/><b>INFP:</b> Is someone who spends a lot of time writing poetry, getting drunk and crying hysterically about things that happened ten years ago really that scary? I mean, they'll probably throw a whiskey glass or a vase in your general direction and curse you out for a solid ten minutes, but then they'll go right back to crying in fetal position. 4/10; just walk away, dude.<p/><b>ENTP:</b> They'll fuck with you just for the sake of having something to do that day. They'll fuck with you sometimes for no reason whatsoever. They fuck with people because it's just in their nature. Occasionally they'll take things too far and you'll wind up in the hospital but probably never in a morgue. Might send you flowers during your hospital stay. 8/10; scary neurotic<p/><b>ENFP:</b> They're either your best friend or your worst enemy and there is literally no in-between. Sometimes they'll get mad at you for reasons you don't even understand. Rarely ever will they try to physically harm you, though. They'll just whine about "fake people" in their DeviantART journal and mope about for a long time before randomly deciding you're their friend again. 4/10; Super confusing but not scary.<p/><b>ISTJ:</b> The embodiment of "walk softly and carry a big stick". Will sit outside of your bedroom window for days with a shotgun, ready for you to make a wrong move so they can blow you to smithereens. Don't try calling the police, because they're probably a police officer or at least connected to one in some way. In other words, you're fucked. 10/10; lawful evil personified.<p/><b>ISFJ:</b> They love you with all their hearts but they also hate the things you do, ie "love the sin, hate the sinner". Usually harmless, but some of them quickly lose their shit when double-crossed. Might mix poison in your sweet tea and then bury you underneath a bed of roses in the backyard. Prays for your certainly-damned soul every night before supper. 7/10, only scary when provoked.<p/><b>ESTJ:</b> Their big mouths and intense, confrontational attitudes can put the fear of God into you, but for an ESTJ to truly be scary, they'd have to physically harm you and they don't want to jeopardize their careers over something that foolish. Will judge you hardcore from afar but that's about it. 5/10; talks shit but you won't get hit.<p/><b>ESFJ:</b> They're the undisputed champions of guilt-trips, and they'll guilt-trip you over things so incessantly that you might suffer a loss of self-worth in the process, which could lead to severe depression and no will to live. Will attend your post-suicide funeral in a really expensive dress and tell mourners how you could have "really been something". 6/10; scary shady<p/><b>ISTP:</b> No chill towards people they dislike. They will straight-up brutalize your ass in one-on-one combat and you will lose. Will put you in the hospital, wait until you've been released, and THEN put you in a morgue. Probably will laugh about killing you over cold ones with the boys for decades to come. 10/10; cold-blooded killers.<p/><b>ISFP:</b> There is no such thing as a scary ISFP. They might get hurt with you but they just let that shit go after a while. More likely to channel their negative feelings into an artistic outlet than something destructive. No time for pettiness or holding grudges. 0/10; anti-scary saviors<p/><b>ESTP:</b> Also has no chill towards people they dislike, but their hair-brained schemes at revenge are often poorly executed. Will threaten to "beat your ass" for months but won't actually do it unless they're drunk or high. Once they do get physically aggressive towards you though, you are deader than dead. 7/10; flee town before things escalate.<p/><b>ESFP:</b> Often incorrigibly shallow, they'll start rumors to sully the reputation of their enemies before they'd actually consider getting their hands dirty. Rarely ever starts fights but they sure do love jumping into other peoples' fights and finishing them. Will get one of their besties to film the entire beat-down and put it on Snapchat. Hair and makeup somehow stays flawless the entire time. 3/10; more petty than scary.<p/></p>
[TRANS] ‘Seventeen’ Magazine 2017 Aug Issue - BTS Interview (P2)

JPN - KRN © cher_bts
KRN - ENG © ktaebwi

Currently on tour, BTS’ popularity has crossed borders and is spreading around the world!

RAP MONSTER: We came to many countries but Brazil left the most impression on me. I learned for the first that through the local news that they set up tents and stayed outside the concert venue few days ahead to buy our concert tickets.
JIMIN: I was really surprised!
SUGA: We travel around the world but mostly we just stay inside the hotel. I use the remaining time to make music there. That’s why I always carry around music equipment.
RAP MONSTER: You have a pot too. (laughs) He uses an electric pot to boil water and cook ramyeon or instant food he brought from Korea to eat.
J-HOPE: It’s really important. I bring a pillow too. It’s not too firm or too soft and fits my neck perfectly. I don’t have to worry even if the hotel’s pillow doesn’t fit!
JIN: I play guitar which I’m into lately in the hotel. We all do what each of us wants.
V: I bring my favorite book of Gogh and read it.
JUNGKOOK: I’m listening to music on my speaker… But the other members often scold me.
V: They said it’s too noisy. (laughs)
J-HOPE: When we say so he lowers the volume. (laughs) One time Rap Monster scolded him and he turned the volume down, but he couldn’t hear the sound like that so he brought the speaker to his ears to listen. I laughed and asked if he did all of that so he could listen on speaker.
JUNGKOOK: I told you the sound is different!
RAP MONSTER: What does Jimin bring?
JIMIN: I don’t bring anything special. Bringing myself is enough ♡

The real side of each person only the members know.

JIMIN: Our leader Rap Monster-hyung is a clumsy “destruction god”. Not just breaking stuffs, he also loses his phone time to time, tripping when there’s nothing around, or spilling coffee and stain Jin-hyung’s shirt… It happens a lot. (laughs)
SUGA: But he’s really smart. He’s got an excellent language ability and he’s the best at Japanese.
RAP MONSTER: I’m embarrassed~
V: J-hope is the dance leader, he dances the best. He’s also reliable and takes care of us well.
J-HOPE: I’m just doing my job.
JUNGKOOK: Are you being humble? (laughs)
J-HOPE: I’m serious. (laughs)
RAP MONSTER: Jin-hyung - the matnae* - takes care of us well too. He likes food so he cooks for us at the dorm or…
JIN: I’m busy recently so I can’t cook at all. I’m not eating a lot for my diet too.
SUGA: He shares a room with me. I hate when it’s loud so he always stays quiet for my sake. I like quietness and hate when there are too many people.
RAP MONSTER: He suddenly talks about himself when we’re talking about other members. Suga-hyung is really “mypace”**. And he’s always spaced out and lethargic. (laughs)
SUGA: I’m lethargic because I need to prepare my energy for music. Told you it all has a meaning! Jimin is “Slow Jimin”, this one word is enough. J-hope is the fastest and Jimin is the slowest. That’s the daily life of BTS.
JIN: But Jimin works harder than anyone else. He always dances or sings in the waiting room
RAP MONSTER: Is it the result of his effort? He has a cute face and great muscles.
SUGA: But… He’s always late.
ALL: (laugh)
JIMIN: Let’s talk about V next.
JUNGKOOK: He really is an amazing person.
V: I’m not amazing~
JUNGKOOK: He says that but he’s really amazing. (laughs) He talks out of the topic or question, even when everyone else is all “?”, he ignores and continues. And he forcefully makes everyone understand him.
V: I’m working hard on talking to the point too! But what can I do when I can’t think of anything? It’s hard for me too!
J-HOPE: I didn’t know that. (laughs) Our maknae Jungkook, as you can see, he’s perfectly handsome.
V: Is he always handsome like that? Hmh, is he…? When he sleeps… (giggles)
JUNGKOOK: What? (nervous)
J-HOPE: Nothing, you’re handsome when you seep too. It’s okay. (laughs)

*matnae: mathyung (eldest hyung) + maknae
**mypace: living or doing things without being affected by other people’s opinions or actions

The never-ending chatter of men! The close-knitted 7 people. When asked “What boosts your mood up?”, nearly all of them answered “The members”.

JIN: Sometimes we need to go work on our own… I indeed gets bored. It’s the same when we film individual cuts for music videos, if the members aren’t around I feel lonely.
JIMIN: The one who boosts my mood up is our maknae Jungkook. He’s mischievous so he always makes us laugh. But Jungkook said he likes tasty food more than me…
JUNGKOOK: Tasty food makes me happy ♡ If there’s food in front of me, I would take a bite out of happiness. Even if I’m full, it’s fine. I’ll get hungry soon after I sleep for a bit. I can keep eating all the time. (laughs)

For the question “What do you want to have at the moment?”, the answers of these 7 people who are busy everyday are!

RAP MONSTER: Time. I want to have some time with my family. I want to travel with my family. We had a concert in Japan last year and my parents along with my sister went on a trip. I couldn’t go with them… I was really upset.
J-HOPE: I have never had a family trip before too. I want to travel with my family!
JUNGKOOK: I want to travel too. To America or Japan. Who do I want to go with? (glances at J-hope sitting beside) J-hope-hyung ♡
J-HOPE: Wow! I’m happy! Jungkook finally knew how to live in life. (laughs)
V: I want to have time too, but I want to have paintings more. I like Gogh the most. There are around 10 paintings in my room.
JUNGKOOK: Are they real?
J-HOPE: If those are real they would cost hundreds of millions. (laughs)
JIN: I want to have an island. I filmed on some island last time and they said it can be bought with 30 billion.
RAP MONSTER: You don’t need to buy an island. We’re going to Hawaii or Okinawa anyway. (laughs) Oh snap, it’s time to end the interview! Let’s greet properly for the ending.
SUGA: Please listen to our single “Blood, Sweat & Tears” a lot and look forward to our Japan tour too. Please give BTS a lot of love!
RAP MONSTER: Our hearts are always… Seventeen ♡

P1

anonymous asked:

Hey man I was just wondering what your take was on the whole controversy around the age difference in Call Me By Your Name and people deeming it as pedophilia because it portrays an adult man pursuing a minor? I know you loved the film so am interested to hear your opinion on the topic.

I didn’t answer this question when I first received it at least two months ago because it’s a complicated issue and it demands that I go into things I wouldn’t normally go into. That said, since this movie means a lot to me and it’s going to be a big part of movie culture for the next year or so, I want to take a stab at answering this.

First of all, I think personal experience dictates a person’s perspective on anything, especially art. That means that if for any reason Call Me by Your Name is triggering or makes you uncomfortable based on your own experiences or feelings, you should do whatever you need to do to stay away from it. I do not believe that gives you the right to say that those that do support the film are supporting pedophilia or glamorizing rape. 

That said, I’m seeing a lot of moral absolutism when it comes to the discourse around this issue. It’s an innate human desire for every issue to have a clear “right” and “wrong” but that’s just not the way of the world. Personally, I’m not keen on people who aren’t able to admit to or identify when subjects are more complicated than a simple dichotomous answer. This is especially frustrating for me given the subject matter. Would it suddenly be OK if Elio’s character were 18, instead of 17? Because “that’s what the law says”? If we follow that train of thought, we fall very quickly down the rabbit hole that depends on laws dictating what is and is not “right” - I think we can all easily admit that the laws are a poor judge of this. 

Even more than that, I think that calling the relationship depicted in the story “predatory” shows an astounding lack of critical thinking and analytical skills. It’s that straight-forward. It’s like when you’re in high school and you have to write a paper about the book you were reading for class. Say the thesis of this paper is, “Oliver is predatory character” - ok, sure, show me the evidence! But guess what? It’s not there. I’ve read the book twice now and there’s not enough textual evidence to support that claim. 

To arrive at the conclusion that Call Me by Your Name depicts pedophilia means that you would first have to strip away all the necessary context within the film that defines the relationship itself. 

As someone who has experienced first hand what it’s like to be groomed by a pedophile and then be abused for more than a year, it’s offensive to me that people are lodging this claim against the movie. This is a movie that celebrates what it’s like to be in love. I’m not asking you to agree with me or share that experience with me. I’m not even asking you to change your opinion on the film because that’s your right just as much as it is mine. That’s simply how I feel about it. 

Context is everything. Moral absolutism is dangerous. 

3

Hypothetical Handplates scenario in which Sans realizes he can teach himself Common.

(Ugh, tumblr is making them blurry for some reason so I guess full-view if you want the not-blurry version??)

Convoluted explanation incoming. Handplates is an Undertale fancomic by @zarla-s and if you like Papyrus and Sans, go read it, is good stuff. So I guess this is an AU fancomic of an AU fancomic? I dunno, the idea wouldn’t leave my brain until I did something with it. So. Zarla did a Christmas doodle where Gaster gave the boys a box of ginger cookies that had the word COOKIES on the side in big letters, and because my job gives me way too much time to think about random stuff, I realized something.

In Handplates, Gaster taught the bros to read and write Wingdings but deliberately did not teach them monster Common (ie: English) so they can’t read his nametag or anything. Thing is, Wingdings is a 1:1 substitution cipher for English. Every Wingdings symbol exactly equals an English letter; it’s not a different language, just a different set of pictures. As somebody who has taught herself a fair number of substitution ciphers, there are a few things you look for when you’re trying to translate a code and you don’t have a key in front of you. Most notably, single-letter words (in English they will usually be A or I) or double letters next to each other. Like the OO in “COOKIES”.

Sans is smart. Gaster has fed them junk food before and odds are good Sans knows how to spell “COOKIES”. The word is on the box in huge letters and Gaster just said it out loud, so it is fresh in Sans’ mind. That double-O is a huge tip-off. He would put it together that the word on the front of the box matches what’s inside. Once you figure out a few of the letters, it becomes steadily easier to decode the rest.

I feel like Gaster exposes the boys to enough Common (the nametag, food wrappers, computer monitors, the books Sans sits on) that Sans could pick it up with a proper starting point. Papyrus probably not, because he had a hard enough time with Wingdings, but Sans is eager for any opportunity to undermine Gaster and I’m sure he’d jump at the chance. In this comic he elects not to tell Papyrus, though. He doesn’t know Gaster has cameras in the cell (or even what a camera is) but he’s figured out that Gaster can spy on them somehow, and the last time Gaster caught them learning something he didn’t like, Papyrus got the ever-loving hell beat out of him. So Sans keeps quiet about it for now. And thus starts the long-standing tradition of keeping important secrets from his brother.

On the technical side, it took me a freakin’ week to sketch and outline this whole thing. Coloring and shading only took me like a day. In the meantime Zarla actually kinda addressed the cookie comic, but this was almost done by then so oh well. I’m finding my poses and proportions turn out a LOT better when I’m doodling skeletons, like what, drawing basic anatomy will make you better at anatomy, you don’t say?? A lot of this was a self-challenge to see if I could imitate Zarla’s art style, and I referenced previous Handplates comics a lot for the backgrounds and Sans’ face. Full disclosure: Gaster’s pose up there is basically copied from Zarla’s original comic because I was rushing through to get on to the actual meat of the story. He’s just here for setup. I had fun trying to figure out how to do his Lost Soul head though. Also, I hate Papyrus’ face from the front. Also also, it was tricky trying to convey “mentally translating an unknown alphabet into a known one” when pretty much everyone who sees this comic is already familiar with the “unknown” one and not the “known” one, but I think I pulled it off. 

TL;DR- I imitated somebody else’s style to do an AU of an AU; I am not Zarla; Zarla is the creator of Handplates and also Gaster’s pose in the first panel; I like ciphers too much and also I gave the cookies icing because that is the only kind of ginger cookie I know.

Miraculous Headcanon

Warning: i have been adding to this headcanon for nearly a month so it is pretty long xD OOPS SORRY NOT SORRY (i did put a cut though, so, yeah) NO REGRETS

  • Marinette is a youtuber
  • Her channel consists of mostly sped up videos of her drawing designs and making her designs. Some have voice over, some have soothing and relaxing music.
  • Her channel blew up
  • Partially because, wow, she’s really talented for only being in high school
  • And people just really enjoyed watching her work, it’s very unique
  • Sometimes she’ll do simple tutorials on how to make a simple skirt, or get started on designing, but those are more rare videos
  • She has a second channel that is less professional than her main, where she posts a bunch of random vlogs that her and Alya take whenever they do something interesting, or even some random challenges. Most of these videos involve Alya, since she got Marinette to make a second channel for fun vlogs
  • Her international followers (#subtitles) find it very interesting anytime she talks about Ladybug and Chat Noir because there are legit superheroes in Paris and no other part of the world has seen that.
  • They vlog all sorts of things
    • going to the craft store for new fabrics, buttons, patterns, literally anything Marinette needs for her next project (or they’re just bored)
    • They record random things they see around Paris, cosplayers of LB and CN, pigeons being weird, aesthetics
    • Alya and Marinette have a weekly “review” which includes Alya buying something for Marinette to review- mostly themed around her favorite heroes
    • Sometimes just walking around the mall. Nino is spotted in many vlogs as well, but Adrien is rarely seen since he is already around so many cameras in his normal life Marinette is respecting his privacy
  • A lot more below the cut because I have been working on this headcanon for nearly a month!

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Does anyone ever think about the fact that after everything with Kate, maybe Derek goes to New York with the decision to never to be hurt that way by anyone again. Not the losing his family part, because how could he ever lose so much again, right? (Right? I’m not crying at all!) So he gets a part-time job as a grocery bagger or something, because he is young and most places won’t hire him halfway through the year. And he works after school to bring in a few bucks so that Laura’s eyes won’t be quite so pinched now that she has gotten her GED and began working to make ends meet for them in a very expensive city. After work, she then spends sometimes hours on the phone and emailing lawyers who are still trying to get all of the paperwork straight. So yeah, Derek  works to help Laura.

But then some lady at the store gives him that look. Like Kate. Her eyes are interested, and her grin is predatory, and he just knows she wants him. So he thinks to himself if he initiates it, maybe it won’t leave him feeling so wrong. So he does. And it becomes a thing. He flirts with anyone who shows him interest as he bags their groceries and “helps them to their car” even though they never need help.

From there maybe it just becomes a way of survival. As he gets older, it seems like more women want to sleep with him. He’s filling out, thanks to all of the runs he’s going on after work and thanks to the workouts he’s pushing his body through every morning. Because he has to be strong enough. He has to be bigger. He doesn’t want anyone to think they can hold him down or force him.

He learns how to play the game. One day he mentions something about that to a coworker (now working at a bar mixing drinks because someone had once told him he would make great money in tips) but his coworker didn’t think of sex as a game. Derek knew better. Maybe it wasn’t for some people, but he would never be able to trust someone in that way again, so he had to strike first before an opponent could.

One day a man at the bar looks at him just right, and Derek just thinks Oh. He’s never focused on men before, but he’s noticed them in passing. So he goes to the guy’s apartment after his shift and they sleep together. Derek pretends he’s done this before, even though he’s mostly relying on his sense of smell and hearing to tell if the guy is into different things he tries. And after that, Derek flirts with anyone he feels he has to.

So fast forward to Stiles. Stiles who is home from college after his second year has finished to make room for summer break. Stiles who means so much and is so good even when he’s an asshole. Stiles who leans in one day after a pack dinner, when he and Derek have finished cleaning up after everyone else has gone home. Stiles kisses him gently, at first, almost hesitantly. But when Derek doesn’t push him away, he presses in more firmly and suddenly Derek realizes where this is going to go. And it kind of makes him sad.

He lets Stiles slip his shirt off and push him back onto his bed. Stiles crawls on top of him and Derek begins pulling their hips together in a slow and sinuous way. But Stiles doesn’t react like any man Derek’s been with before–which really shouldn’t be as much of a surprise as it is. Yes, Stiles lets out a little moan, but it doesn’t break Stiles away from Derek’s mouth, where his tongue is doing things to Derek that he can’t explain. And his hands after trapping Derek’s face, but not like he’s trying to contain Derek, more like he’s holding something precious. His thumbs keep swiping across Derek’s eyebrows, like he’s memorizing their shape.

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honorary-penderwicks  asked:

Here's a thing I just re-watched civil war and when tony says "you're done stay down" peter starts to get up and then grabs the side of his chest the same way I do when I go a little overboard while binding. I bet before that fight he had never done so much physically and I also bet that the suit didn't have a binder in it yet because tony didn't know so he wore it without thinking about the exertion. Anyways just another trans peter thought I had thanks

peter doesn’t usually like binding bc his breasts are small enough that if he wears a oversized shirts and enough layers you can hardly tell he isn’t totally flat chested, but he still brings his binder with him to berlin just in case.

and he wasn’t going to bind during the fight bc his homemade suit is super baggy, but then tony makes him such an awesome suit…. but it’s skin tight. but it’s so COOL. and he knows it’s dumb, he KNOWS that, but he decides to bind. he reasons it’ll be okay because of his advanced healing factor, and besides — he’s spider-man!! he’s like 100 percent sure that he’s gonna kick captain america’s butt without even trying, let alone enough to feel the effects of his binder. 97 percent sure.

but hours later he’s laying on the tarmac of the airport, tony has just flown off effectively benching him from the fight, and he can’t move. everytime he tries to sit up his ribs feel like they’re gonna crack, if they haven’t already. and suddenly he’s aware of how lightheaded he is. he’s going to pass out. shit, how did he not notice this before?? it must have been all the adrenaline?? he didn’t know, didn’t have the energy to even think about it. he tried to sit up one more time, and that’s what caused his vision to spot up and go black.

he wakes up in his hotel room, momentarily confused about his surroundings. but then he remembers he’s in berlin and he relaxes back into the bed. but then he remembers the fight, that giant ant dude (hah, oxymoron), he remembers mr. stark flying off, he remembers not being able to breathe. but he can breathe now…

he tries to bolt upright but a sharp pain in his side makes him hiss and fall back to the bed.

“well, good morning, moron. or should i say good afternoon,” tony says, sitting in the chair on the other end of the room. he looks bored, scrolling through his phone. he also looks way more beaten up than he did when peter last saw him.

“how long have i been out?” peter says. he wants to cry. tony has to know. he has to. he wonders how many others know.

“several hours. oxygen deprivation and two cracked ribs can sometimes have that effect. but don’t worry, your healing factor is off the charts, almost on par with caps. you’ll be all healed by morning, if not sooner.” he sounds kinda of interested, and in any other situation peter would be tripping over himself to talk science about all the mutations he got from the spider bite, but right now all he can think about is his chest.

“who found me?”

“natasha.”

“black widow?”

tony chuckles. “i forget that’s what she calls herself. how pretentious.”

peter laughs humorlessly and ends up coughing because it hurts. “she’s pretentious? have you met yourself?”

tony looks up from his phone then mumbles, “you and pepper would get along.”

“where is it?” peter says, looking up to the ceiling. he feels himself starting to cry, he hates it.

“where’s what? oh you mean that thing that was on your chest? that had to be cut off.”

and peter feels himself choke on a sob before he can stop himself, it sends a shooting pain up his side. “that was my only binder.”

tony whistles and peter looks to him blearily through the tears welling up in his eyes. once they make eye contact tony gestures to the table next to peter’s bed. confused, peter moves his head only to have his eyes widen. some tears overflow against his will.

on the table are four high quality binders, each a different color, two of them are short binders and the other two are modeled more like tank tops.

tony stands up and walks over to the end of peter’s bed. “natasha knows, just natasha and i. sorry about that, but it couldn’t really be helped. but if it makes you feel any better natasha couldn’t care less, and even if she did she wouldn’t tell anyone.” he rolls his eyes and scowls. “she’s good at keeping information to herself.”

peter’s kind of dazed. he didn’t expect this.

“do you care?”

tony shrugs. “i don’t care that you’re trans, what i do care about is your health. you can’t wear your binders when you fight, peter. c'mon you’re a smart kid, you have to know that.”

peter sighs, kind of relieved, kind of stunned, kind of happy, kind of sad, and very tired. “i don’t fight in binders, i only did it this time because of the new suit. it’s so tight… they would have seen.”

tony makes a “hmmm” noise as he thinks, then he abruptly claps his hands together and moves towards the door. “i’ll sort that out. but right now i have places to be. happy is right next door if you need anything, and even though your healing factor is incredible i still wouldn’t over exert yourself. good job out there, kid.”

peter says thanks, but tony is already making his way out the door. everything feels kind of surreal. he looks at the binders and smiles.

THE SIGNS AS WOMEN I KNOW
  • Aries: A real force of nature. Steals a room when she walks into it, but has gone through an intense period of transformation. Has a natural sense of humour and almost always has a smile on her face, even if forced.
  • Taurus: Knows how to be in charge, but only when she feels like it. Likes nice things but likes food even more. Is torn between travelling the world and staying in her bed forever.
  • Gemini: Can float through a room talking to everyone she meets, but goes through periods of intense hibernation in order to recharge. Has an odd sense of humour but ALWAYS gets what she wants.
  • Cancer: Knows that she needs to put herself first more, but is still not sure how to do it. Has been trampled on a million times but still manages to radiate love from her fingertips. Extremely strong maternal instinct.
  • Leo: Desperately wants attention but doesn't know what to do with it. Will give up everything for the people she loves, but may easily forget about those close to her when she gets distracted by something new.
  • Virgo: Likes to stay active and in control of her life. Never really lets loose like she should, but supports everyone around her having a good time.
  • Libra: Takes care of everyone around her, even if she doesn't want to. Knows the solution to every problem, loves beautiful things, wants to see people smile, has so much compassion that it overflows out of her.
  • Scorpio: Powerful enough to be a witch or rule a kingdom, beautiful enough to make men beg. Into all sorts of magic, but unaware of the magic that flows from her mouth.
  • Sagittarius: Is always laughing and never backs down from a challenge. Likes to hang out with the guys and always needs something new to do. Thinks she wants to be free, but really just wants someone to go home to.
  • Capricorn: Very strong and independent, but very guarded. Has lots of ambition but not always sure how to go for her goals. Filled with joy but needs to let it out more often.
  • Aquarius: Secretly cares about everyone around her, but her stone cold persona refuses to let it show. Often tries to give up on everything when she feels out of control, but is a lot wiser than she seems.
  • Pisces: Embraces every new person she meets with love, but this causes her to get hurt because she doesn't bother with walls. Will bring dessert and salad to a dinner, even if you told her she didn't have to bring anything.
How them 2000s live actions kids shows be
  • Normal Girl: *internally* I'm just a normal high school girl. I suck at math. I hate my parents. When someone asks me about my opinion on complex socioeconomic issues, I just go "What the heck!?" and start "texting" or something like that. My life would be just like yours, except for one thing: I have an amazing power... I can talk to cetaceans!
  • *at the docks, a bell tolls as our normal protagonist hears the voices of cetaceans bubbling in her mind*
  • Normal Girl: *staring deeply into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: Ahoy! What're you doing?
  • Normal Girl: Just staring into the oceanic abyss, thinking about how much I hate my parents. *internally* I have to keep my ability to speak to cetaceans secret or else... uh...
  • Best Friend: Haha, I feel that, friend. What a colorful life we teens live, our seaside environment awakening a rumbling darkness within ourselves of which we mull on our own with nothing but the unbounding depths of the ocean as our one escape. An escape which serves to only maim our fragile egos with newfound adolescent anxieties.
  • Normal Girl: What are you even talking about?
  • Best Friend: I don't know. I haven't slept in a week. Let's go to the mall.
  • *at the mall*
  • Normal Girl: *internally* My town might as well be called Lamesville. Nothing ever happens here, but the mall can be pretty fun. It's only place in the whole town with anything in it that isn't fish or excessive amounts of woodlice.
  • Best Friend: ...So I'd just dance and I'd dance until my feet broke. When that happened, I'd just get up and dance on my broken feet. And I did this until they were raw and blood was everywhere. I kept waking up in the morning extremely exhausted after this dream. I decided to record myself one night and it turns out I was dancing in my sleep. I haven't slept since I saw that. *leans in close to the normal girl* I'm afraid of what I'll do in my sleep.
  • Normal Girl: Wow, sounds weird... I guess. *sips coffee*
  • Best Friend: OMIGAWD! It's Chad Alphakid. He's coming this way!
  • *the normal girl and her best friend squee*
  • Normal Girl: *externally* That's Chad Alphakid. Who is he? He's only the hottest most coolest boy in this entire lame city. I've been crushing on him since I was like twelve.
  • Chad: Uh, okay.
  • Normal Girl: Did I just say that out loud!?
  • Chad: *sits at the table* Listen, I don't care what you or your friend think of me. I need help!
  • Best Friend: Have you murdered somebody?
  • Normal Girl: Do you need a girlfriend?
  • Chad: No, it's the ocean. The sound of her waves crashing against the shore is like a faultless siren song. There isn't a single night where I don't have visions of floating within her cold embrace. The allure of her boundless depths beckon to me like a lover. I'm afraid that if I don't get help soon, I'll find myself taken away by her to a fate unknown.
  • Normal Girl: *internally* Great, this is a chance to finally use my power to speak to cetaceans to my benefit! *externally* But why do you need us to help you?
  • Chad: You guys are the biggest fucking degenerate weirdos in this washed up town. If anyone knows how to deal with this, it's you two.
  • Best Friend: Haha, truuuuuu!
  • Normal Girl: I'm not a weirdo! I'm a completely normal girl.
  • Chad: Dude, you fucking talk to fish.
  • Best Friend: You do talk to fish.
  • Normal Girl: I don't talk to fish! *internally* I talk to cetaceans, they're mammals, not fish. Also, that's supposed to be a secret, dammit!
  • *at the shore*
  • Chad: Ah, Mother Ocean! Take me!! Take me!!! *attempts to run into the ocean, but gets held back by the normal girl and her best friend*
  • Best Friend: Simmer down, aqualad!
  • Chad: Why did you fools take me here, if not to release into the embrace of sweet Mother Ocean!?
  • Normal Girl: We talked it over and we decided that the best way to get you over your obsession is make you hate the ocean.
  • Chad: Does it involve you talking to fish?
  • Normal Girl: Yes, I mean no. I mean, fuck! Cetaceans aren't fish.
  • *the normal girl sits at the edge of shore, her eyes rolls up in her head as she proceeds to make fucked up porpoise sounds*
  • Normal Girl: *falls over limp*
  • Best Fried: She died.
  • Chad: Does this mean that I'm free to wade into Mother Ocean and meet my fate among her ever chaotic waes?
  • Best Friend: *lets chad go* Yeah, dude. I'm too far gone to care about things anymore.
  • Chad: *strips off all of his clothes* Good. I now understand that there was no avoiding this. This was always a forgone conclusion. My fate is with the waves. Sayonara, weird best friend guy.
  • Chad: *runs into the ocean*
  • Best Friend: *kicks the normal girl's body* Guess she really is dead.
  • Best Friend: *walks home as the night encroaches* My closest friend is dead, and Chad is probably dead too. I wonder where my fate lies?
  • Best Friend: *yawns* Maybe I should go to sleep and just dance myself to death finally. No, I don't think I could go to sleep even if I wanted to anymore. I'm probably going to die from exhaustion in the next few days, not having felt rest or comfort again. Or maybe I'll just stay awake forever. I feel like I was supposed to have an epiphany here, or some type of awakening. But, there's nothing. I feel like everything I've ever done has been pointless. God, I'm just really tired.
  • *back at the shore*
  • Porpoise: *beaches itself*
  • *a gray fleshy version of the normal girl crawls halfway out of the porpoises mouth*
  • Normal Girl: There goes my corpse! *drags her weird porpoise body towards the corpse* Why did I die with such a dumb expression on my face? Lame! I hope Chad didn't see.
  • Normal Girl: *looks around with beady eyes* No one's here. I can finally do this.
  • Normal Girl: *kisses her dead body on the lips* Blargh!
  • Normal Girl: *spits out blood* I bit my tongue when I died. Gross. I guess I can cross making out with my dead body and becoming a mermaid off of my bucket list, though.
  • Normal Girl: *sighs*
Try to make me look bad? Hope you didn't enjoy your job.

Very long story. TL:DR at the end.

September 6th, 2017 will be an ordinary day for most people, but that day, today, marks the end of my quest to right a grievous wrong committed against me by a co-worker who was worried that I might usurp his easy job in the company.

Let me take you back roughly five years. The engineer of our company called me into the office. I had spoken to him before, primarily whenever we needed a tolerance adjusted for an order that began production over or under a limit, in order to avoid completely throwing away anything that we had already spent time and money producing. I figured that $engineer simply had a question about one of the machines, or about an order that had been ran the night before, but instead he had a proposition. I was to be offered a spot in our in-house testing lab, and to start training the next week. Obviously interested, I took the offer on the spot, and that Monday I began coming in earlier in order to do training with our only lab technician at the time.

Enter, $labtech.

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drmuffinofdoom  asked:

I can't believe that I didn't ask this before now but- do you have any Drarry fic recs??? Pls tell me you do

CRACKS KNUCKLES, lemme go through ye ol archives of my favs >D

Running on Air

eleventy7

Summary:

Draco Malfoy has been missing for three years. Harry is assigned the cold case and finds himself slowly falling in love with the memories he collects.

(I’ve rec’d this one before but I will keep pushing it on everyone because its the bEST ITS MY FAVORITE ONE OK I live for the mood and the entire fic is like a walking aesthetic and the characters are portrayed pERFE C T LY goddang)

No Shadow Taller Than Our Souls

khasael

Summary:

Auror Potter and Unspeakable Malfoy team up to investigate a series of missing persons, and it soon becomes apparent that Dementors are involved. Despite their initial misgivings, Harry and Draco find that they need each other’s help, in more ways than one.

(I literally just finished reading this one like 10 minutes ago and it was a good good. A lot of interesting Dementor lore!!)

Reparatio

astolat

Summary:

Draco snorted. “I’m not reduced to penury. I want something considerably beyond money, and I rather think you’re the only one can give it to me.”

“You want the Invisibility Cloak,” Harry said, flatly. He’d half expected as much; it was the only thing he had that Draco could want—

“Don’t be stupid, Potter,” Draco said. “I want my reputation back.”

(I remember really liking this one and I thiiiiink this one has some good good ministry ball courtship-ing and stuff lmao


Actually looking now anything by astolat is good)


The Boy Who Only Lived Twice

lettered

Summary:

Harry Potter is an Unspeakable. Draco Malfoy is the wizard who shagged him. Adventure! Intrigue! Secret identities, celebrities, spies! It’s all right here, folks.

(THE SUMMARY DOESNT LIE. I TREALLY IS SECRET IDENTITIES, CELEBS, aND SPIESsseSSEs. But really this one is so well written and I’m a sucker for spy/thriller types and this blends the wizarding world into the genre so well im cryinnngngg)

Coffee, Cakes and Doorknob Snakes

Omi_Ohmy

Summary:

Harry’s house is trying to kill him, and only one person can help him: pity it’s Draco Malfoy

(this one is just *clenches fist* so pure. The house has so much character I cant even believe. And Draco being the smartie mcsmartpants is my favorite thing ever.)

Open For Repairs

FeelsForBreakfast

Summary:

After the war, Draco works at a tv repair shop and Harry breaks things.

feat. sad boys in jumpers and more ABBA than is probably necessary

(this one melted my heart and rebuilt it. Better. STrONGER. Seriously tho this has everything in it.)

 And basically anything Saras_girl on a03 writes is like a gold standard.~ I might make a more indepth list when I actually compile all the ones I’ve read (theres a lot oh god) but these are goods!

master-sass-blast  asked:

Right. So. Might be mildly addicted to your 'Gods and Monsters' series. Definitely need an intervention, but I'll prolly ignore that anyway, so... anyway, can you do something with Zeus and Hera? I've always thought it was massively whack that the goddess of fidelity was with --according to Greek mythos--one of the biggest adulterers on Olympus. Definitely smelling a bit of an abusive relationship there, if you catch my drift... okay byeeeee

Hera, the young goddess of marriage and family, is only unfaithful to her husband once.

She seduces Zeus first, right as the war ends and they’re all pain and ash and thrumming with the excitement of victory. She smiles just so and touches his bloody chest, her hand pale against the dark copper of his skin and, and when he looks at her his eyes spark with the lightning he so easily commands. She is named his wife that very night, her body littered with bruises from his rough, eager hands, and she tells herself the bile at the back of her throat tastes like victory.

She is queen of the gods. This is what she wants.

They’ve all claimed their domains and gone their separate ways, Demeter to the earth, Hades to the underworld, and Hestia to Olympus where they plan to build their palace. But Poseidon still lingers. “Don’t you have an ocean to conquer?” she asks.

He looks at her, then behind her to where Zeus is busy sketching plans for Olympus. “You don’t have to do this,” he says softly, “you – you can come with me if you want. Or I’m sure Hades would take you.”

Hera has no time for Poseidon and his soft heart. “I will only belong to the best,” she says, tossing her head so her crown of curls fall over her shoulder. “You should go. You have work to do.”

“There are more important things than power,” he says uncomfortably, shifting from foot to foot.

“No,” she says, “there aren’t.”

~

Hera would not mind Zeus’s women so much if they were not constantly giving him children, something she has been unable to do.

She is an obedient wife. She does not turn her powers against him, and she’s tolerant of his mortals at first, but the longer she is empty of child the less patience she has. How can she be the goddess of family without one of her own?

Her spite gets in her way, and she hurls every kind of obstacle and curse she can at the woman her husband lies with. At first he is angry with her, and bruises litter her throat and wrists. Then, as her wrath and powers grow, he is afraid of her. He watches her warily, sneaking to the mortal realm when before he wouldn’t even try to hide it. He submits when she pins him to the bed and rides him hard, desperate for a child of his, desperate to fulfill the perfect image of wife and mother she’s built for herself.

No matter her magic, no matter how many times they lie together, Hera does not get with child.

She goes to Hestia, and her sister presses a hand to her stomach and purses her lips and says, “Must it be his child?”

Hera stares. She’s the goddess of marriage and family. She is not capable of infidelity. “I – I can’t.”

“Just once,” Hestia says, “the problem is not with you, nor with him, clearly. Only the combination of you both. Lie with any other man, and you will have your child.”

So Hera, just once, puts on a disguise and goes to the mortal realm. She finds a man with skin darker than Zeus’s, a rich warm brown that matches his soft eyes. She lies with him, and it hurts. He is kind and patient and kisses the edge of her jaw, her shoulders, her navel. But to be unfaithful grates against her very nature as a goddess, and every moment is agony. He finishes, his mouth whispering kind things against her own, and she leaves as soon as she can.

It works. She becomes round with child, and is happier than she’s been in a long time. She does not mind Zeus’s mortals, and he even becomes kinder while the baby grows inside of her. His hands become softer, and he spends less time away from Olympus.

The baby is born, and Zeus is furious.

The child is too dark to be his, and he tears it from Hera’s hands while she lies exhausted from the birth. “What do you care?” she cries, struggling to stand, “You have dozens of children. What does it matter if I have one?”

He holds the baby in one hand and grabs her jaw with the other, pulling her to her knees. “You are my wife,” he hisses, “the goddess of marriage and family. You will have my child, or no child at all.”

He throws the baby from Mount Olympus. Hera screams, pushing herself away from him and attempting to jump after it. Zeus catches her around the waist, and with a crackle of power and roar of rage, he sends a lightning bolt after the baby.

The child may have survived the fall, but not the lightning.

“NO!” Hera screeches, clawing at his arm as she struggles to escape his grasp. Normally she’s not this helpless against him, but delivering her baby has left her weaker than she’s ever been before.

He presses the flat of his hand against her swollen womb, adding pressure until she cries out in pain and tries to squirm away from him. “My child,” he repeats, voice low and terrible, “or no child at all.”

He lets her go, and she collapses, grasping out a hand over the edge of Olympus. But the blood between her thighs is still wet, and she can’t find the energy to stand. She wonders if she’ll have to crawl down the mountain to retrieve her baby’s corpse.

“Sister!” Soft hands grab her shoulder and gently roll her onto her back. Hestia’s face fills her vision, and Hera has never seen the older goddess of hearth and fire look so cold. “I’ll kill him,” she says, hands hovering over Hera like she’s not sure where to begin. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think this would happen, I didn’t think he would – I didn’t think.”

Hera curls on her side until she can place her head in her sister’s lap. She’s not sobbing anymore, she’s never been one to fall into hysterics, but she can’t stop crying, a steady stream of tears dripping silently down her face. Hestia runs trembling hands through her hair. “Don’t,” she whispers, “I did this, this is my fault. I – I should have known better.”

Hestia’s hand cup her face, leaning over so she can look her in the eye. “This is not your fault.”

Her sister stands and picks her up in her arms. Hera tries to tell her to put her down, that Zeus will be angry if she leaves, that she did this to herself. But she falls unconscious before she can get any of it out.

~

Hera awakens someplace soft and warm. She opens her eyes, and she’s inside Hades’s palace. Her confusion lasts only until her memories come rushing back, and then she has to bite her lip until it bleeds to stop herself from crying out.

“Hestia brought you here. She’s returned to Olympus to cover for you both. Do not worry – Zeus doesn’t know where you are.” She turns her head, and sees the goddess of magic at her side. Hecate smiles, “I have mended you, do not worry. All is well.”

All is not well. That statement is so far from true, and her instant urge is to crush Hecate to dust for the audacity. Before she can make up her mind one way or the other, there’s a soft knock on the door. It opens to reveal her elder brother. “I have something that belongs to you,” he says, and Here focuses on the bundle in the crook of his elbow.

Her baby’s corpse. She’s relieved someone thought to get it. Her heart feels like lead, and all the control she’d had over her emotions is gone instantly. She hopes they’ll leave her alone to hold the body of her child and weep.

Hades gingerly sits on the edge of the bed, and Hecate rises to help Hera prop herself up so she’s at least sitting. “He’s a strong little thing,” Hades says, and Hera doesn’t understand.

Then a warm, wriggling baby is placed in her arms. He’s got great big eyes and his mouth splits into a toothless grin when he sees her. “He’s alive,” she says numbly.

“Not without sacrifice,” Hecate says softly, and reaches over to undo the blanket he’s swaddled in.

Her son has no legs below his knees.

“Zeus’s lightning bolt didn’t kill him, but we cannot return what was lost,” Hades says, pained. “When he’s older, maybe we can do something, give him something in place of legs. But for now, there’s nothing I can do.”

The king of the underworld is the most powerful god after her husband. Hera knows that, even if Zeus doesn’t. If Hades can’t do anything about her son’s legs, then no can. But he’s alive, Zeus didn’t manage to kill him, and Hera finds herself so grateful that she’s holding a smiling, living child that she can’t be anything but relieved. Her son is alive, and happy. He doesn’t need legs.

“I can’t bring him back to Olympus,” she looks up at them, “Can you find someone to raise him? Someone you trust?”

She doesn’t trust anyone, so it can’t be her choosing.

“You’re going back to him?” Hecate demands, “Hestia said – but I thought for sure – you don’t have to! Don’t go back to him!”

“I must,” she holds her son to her chest, and he reaches out with chubby hands to tug at her hair. “I am the goddess of marriage, and he is my husband.”

Hecate stares, aghast. “Don’t – don’t, Hera. Please. Stay here. Hades will protect you.”

She looks up at her brother, and he raises an eyebrow. He would protect her, he would put himself in between her and Zeus’s wrath if she asked him to. But she won’t, and she thinks he knows it. She says, “I am Hera of the Heights, of Argos, of the Mound. I am the cow eyed, white armed goddess of marriage and of family. I am Hera, queen of the gods.” She looks down at her son, and her heart clenches, because for now a title that cannot be afforded to her is that of mother. “I will not abandon my dominion, nor my husband. I will return to Mount Olympus.”

“But you don’t love him,” Hecate says helplessly.

Hera stares, baffled that anyone could think her marriage had anything to do with love. “Of course not. But this isn’t about love. It’s about power.”

The goddess of magic swallows, then says, “I will raise him.”

Even Hades is surprised by that. “Hecate?”

“I will raise him,” she repeats, “He will stay with me, safe in the underworld where Zeus cannot find him, until he’s old enough and strong enough to protect himself.”

“Thank you,” Hera says, and lowers her head enough to kiss the top of her son’s head. “Tell him that I’m the one that threw him from Olympus.” When she looks up, Hades is resigned while Hecate looks on in horror. “Tell him, tell everyone. I gave birth to a hideous son, and I threw him from Olympus. His legs were crushed in the fall. I did this. Zeus tried to stop me, but could not.”

“Why?” Hecate asks.

Hera smiles down at her son, her heart full with a helpless sort of love. “So that when he ventures from the safety of the underworld, Zeus will have no reason to hurt him. So that when he comes to Olympus, Zeus will be unable to hurt him without explaining he was the one that tried to kill him in the first place.” She runs the back of her finger down his cheek, and he grabs it, his little fist holding onto her. “Blame me, and he will be safe.”

Hecate looks like she wants to argue. Hades puts a hand on her shoulder and asks Hera, “What’s his name?”

Her son smiles, and tugs at her hand, the beginnings of a giggle gurgling in his throat.

“His name is Hephaestus.”

~

When she returns, she no longer has any patience for Zeus’s mortals. When before she had only inconvenienced them, now she’s not playing any games. Those that do not die end up wishing they had, and she’s especially vindictive to any mortal carrying her husband’s child.

She sits on her throne, waiting, a smirk curled around the corner of her lips.

Zeus barges in and charges towards her. He’s so angry smoke is rising off his skin. “You,” he hisses, “this is your doing.”

“Whatever do you mean?” she asks, unflinching when he slams his hands on either side of her head, crushing the back of her throne with the force of it.

“She and the children are dead,” he snarls, “my children are dead! I know this is your doing, it reeks of your handiwork.”

Hera slides forward to the edge of her throne, their faces nearly touching, and spreads her legs. He flexes his hands, because even at his most furious he still wants her. She is his wife and his queen. She banishes her clothing so she’s spread out before him, hair piled high and jewelry glinting around her neck. “What are you going to do about it?”

He kisses her hard enough to bruise, and Hera crosses her legs around his back, urging him closer. “Why are you doing this?” he hisses, mouthing at her neck, because he hates her even as he loves her, hates her because he loves her, and loves her because he hates her.

She waits until he’s inside her to lick the shell of his ear and whisper, “My child, or no child at all, husband.”

When he breaks her skin with his teeth, she only laughs.

They do this to each other. Maybe they are meant to be together.


gods and monsters series part xv

read more from the gods and monsters series here

1. i don’t know how to say this so i’m just going to say it - don’t text me anymore. don’t call me. don’t ask me how i am when you feel lonely. don’t check up on me. don’t tell me you’re doing well. i don’t want to hear it. i don’t want to hear it because you fucking broke me. GOODBYE.

2. hey, okay, sooo i thought i could be friends with you but it hurts too much. not that you hurt me that much. no, i’m okay. i don’t cry in the shower anymore. some nights i actually fall asleep before 4 a.m. but then there’s some nights where i think about you and her kissing and it’s all that’s on my mind for days. no, no, it’s not like that. it’s not that i love you anymore or that i’m jealous. i just hate you for what you did to me. so yeah, anyways, just thought you should know i don’t want to be friends. hope you’re doing well though. maybe our paths will cross again.

3. i told myself many, many months ago that if i wanted this to work, if i wanted us to be friends, i couldn’t talk to you about my feelings ever again. i couldn’t turn every conversation into our failed relationship. so for many, many months, i’ve been letting it eat at me instead. i don’t want it to eat at me anymore and you don’t want to listen to me whine so i think this has to end. sorry.

4. hey, listen: some days i’m fine, but the smallest things get to me. like i’m pretty sure i saw you on her snapchat story. it’s none of my business, but i’m really mad at you for it. i’m really mad that you still talk to that girl you chose over me and you still like all of these girls’ facebook photos but you never like mine. and it’s not fair for me to be mad at you for having friends or being happy, i have no right to be, you didn’t do anything wrong. but it still gets to me, still eats away at me, still makes me want to knock down your door and ask you why the fuck you had to leave, why you had to do anything you did, why i poured all of my love into you that i didn’t have any left for myself and you took it and gave it to somebody else. god, this hurts. i don’t want you to know how badly this hurts but it does. i’m leaving you and taking this hurt with me.

5. hey, hope you’re doing well, but this still feels like a nightmare i’ll never wake up from. and i’m sorry, i’m so fucking sorry, it’s not fair to you to have to listen to this shit because it’s been two whole years and i’m still not over it. and that’s my problem, not yours. it will never be your fault that i’m so goddamn sensitive. i’ve never been able to get over anything and i hate myself for it. please let me heal. please leave.

6. hey, remember the summer where i hooked up with the first guy who wasn’t you, when you had me blocked on everything and i couldn’t see what you were up to? well, i still read my posts from that summer and i was actually HAPPY. can you believe that? i was actually going about my life without you and i wasn’t thinking about what you did to me. but here i am again, thinking about it and the only thing that’s changed is that you speak to me. and i would love to be friends with you, i would, i’ve been trying so hard to be for months, but it’s making me so damn miserable. and i’m so jealous that she gets to be friends with you and i don’t. i’m sorry i’m not her. i’m sorry i never will be.

7. i’ve been ignoring your messages on purpose and you keep texting me again and it’s exhausting to have to ignore you all of the time and feel so guilty about it. i just don’t understand how you just don’t get the hint. so here’s a bigger one: LEAVE ME ALONE.

8. hey, okay, i know this is sudden but i don’t want to hear from you anymore. i don’t want to think about this anymore. i want to move on with my life and there’s no room for you in it. it was stupid of me to think that just because you’ve always been a good friend to me that we can be friends. we can’t.

9. hey. first off, i want to say i’m sorry, i just need to do what’s best for me. secondly, thank you for always being there when i needed you, but i don’t need you anymore. for now, it has to be just me. it feels like i’m breaking up with you and we’re not even dating, but this is it - this is goodbye. forever. don’t contact me.

10. all you ever did was hurt me. fuck you. i don’t want to see your stupid fucking name on my phone anymore. fucking get out. leave.

—  10 text messages i’m afraid to send because i don’t want to say goodbye to you, not again

lhsajbfjalf here take this i’m growing tired and uninspired by the minute

this is for that au i made lil sprites? for i guess anyways i’m gonna put some stuff under a cut bc it’s just character stuff

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