its 1:25 am and i have school tmrw but IT IS FINALLY FINISHED
lots of thanks nastyinkhakis for the inspo and for not like fighting me or smth when i kept sending her small snippets
fun fact: i used a randomizer to decide what ficlet goes where, so this series of related drabble-y things is not only non-linear, but also not even in the order i wrote them in. exciting. This exists in some weird modern au where they all stay together f o r e v e r
isn’t it funny-
-how obvious and oblivious are so closely related?
Or: 9 times that Hanschen and Ernst were obviously, obliviously in love and 1 time they get their shit together.
HIIIIIIIIIIII! So, my friend introduced me to your page and I absolutely LOOOOOOOOOOVED IT! Can I make a request? Ashley Purdy super fluffy but very protective over you when the media attacks. Tomorrow is my birthday, so this is sort of my oly gift :/ thank you
HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABE!! ^-^ I hope you really like this. I did my best to make it really awesome and cute ^-^
And also, here’s a gif for later (I swear it’s related to the imagine)(And not mine) ^-^ ♥ -izzi
You were sitting across from your boyfriend, having what was supposed to be a nice meal. You had been having a nice time, talking and laughing. He’d taken the day to just spend with you, since it was your birthday. He’d taken you to the park for a picnic lunch, and now you were at a fancy restaurant for dinner, not acting like the normal patrons of such an establishment. You and Ashley were having almost too good a time. Ashley was making you laugh hard enough that other people were starting to look, something that wouldn’t usually matter, except they were starting to realize who was among them, the peasants: Ashley Purdy.
Sure he wasn’t the biggest name, but he was a name, and as sure as starlight there were a couple of assholes looking to make a quick buck by intruding on your birthday dinner.
Ashley was in the middle of telling you a story about the guys, about the chubby bunny contest Jake and CC had gotten into that nearly killed CC, when the first flash went off.
The two of you looked up, looking for the culprit, and somewhere to your left there was another flash.
“Ash,” you whispered, always having hated the paparazzi.
“It’s okay, babe,” he said, reaching across the table and taking your hand in his reassuringly while his angry eyes sought out the culprit.
Ashley called over a waiter and spoke lowly in his ear before slipping him a little bit of cash.
“I’m taking care of it,” he murmured, giving you a small smile.
“Thank you,” you whispered, leaning over to kiss him. As soon as you did so there was another flash.
The waiter Ashley had talked to rushed over to the table with the man sitting at it and whispered something in his ear. The man got up quickly and rushed out the door, leaving his date, a confused male of about the same age, utterly astonished.
“I told him to tell him that Andy and Juliet were breaking up outside,” Ashley smirked. “That’s a little bit of a bigger scoop than we are,” he ran his thumb over your hand gently.
“Thank you,” you smiled, leaning over to kiss him again.”
“Anything for you, (Y/N).”
You were brought desert, a piece of cake that Ashley let you eat mostly on your own, by the same waiter that had been waiting on you all evening, and had run that asshole off.
“So, how have you liked your birthday so far?” he asked and you smiled.
“I loved it, Ashley. Today was… amazing,” you smiled, putting a bite of cake in your mouth. You felt a piece stick to the corner of your mouth, but before you could lick it Ashley reached forward with his thumb and caught the little crumb. You flushed when he put the pad of his thumb in his mouth, giving his signature, “later” look.
You bit your lip and put another forkful of cake to your lips. Ashley smirked and caught your fork with his.
“You want it?” he asked, and you flushed. “Give me a kiss, and you can have it,” he teased you and you flushed, but leaned forward and kissed him anyway. He smiled against your lips and released your fork and allowed you to eat your cake.
“You’re adorable,” he told you and you smiled behind your hand. He pulled your hand away and kissed your lips sweetly, stealing yet another crumb from the corner of your mouth. “Happy birthday, babe.”
“Thanks,” you smiled shyly.
“You know, we’ve been together so long, I kept thinking you’d get brash, but you’re just as bashful now as you were when we met,” he told you with a loving smile and you couldn’t help but smile yourself.
“At least I’ll talk to you now,” you giggled.
“That’s right, it took a while to get you to talk,” he picked at the cake and put the small forkful to your lips. You flushed and let him feed you while he smiled, lips barely keeping from pulling into a smirk. “I remember you just stood there and avoided looking at me, and sort of nodded when I asked questions,” he chuckled. “It was the cutest thing I’d ever seen. You looked like you wanted to be jumping off the walls, and curl into yourself at the same time. It was a strange combination,” he smiled.
You didn’t know what to say, so you played with your fingernails. He took your hand and you looked up at his smiling face. “I love you,” he murmured and your eyes widened.
“A-Ashley?” you said, not sure what to say in return.
“I was afraid to say it, but I’ve felt like this for a while. If you don’t feel the same I understand, but-,”
“I love you too,” you told him, teary-eyed.
He smiled, sort of surprised. “Really?” he asked, and you nodded. (Insert Gif!! ^-^)
“Really,” you whispered, and he broke into a grin.
“That’s amazing,” he said. “I wasn’t actually expecting you say it back. I’m glad that you did, but I didn’t expect it,” he laughed, obviously relieved. “I was actually afraid that you’d run off once I said it,” he admitted and you smiled.
“I’m sort of surprised I didn’t run off,” you admitted, and he chuckled.
“Well I’m glad that you didn’t. Are you ready to go, I want to celebrate some more at home,” he said suggestively and you giggled, flushing.
“Yeah, let’s go,” you smiled, and he waved the waiter over. Like you usually did you tried to make him let you pay for your half of the check, but like every date before this one he wouldn’t allow it, “Especially not on your birthday!” he’d told you sort of indignantly.
He held your hand on your way out to his car, and the two of you were walking in pleasant silence until you heard a camera click.
“Fuck,” Ashley said as he caught sight of paparazzi. He usually didn’t mind those sorts of things, but he knew how much you hated it, and he looked ready to take the guy down.
Only there wasn’t just one guy. Before you knew it there was a plethora of people surrounding the two of you, camera’s clicking and you were practically clinging to Ashley.
“Hey, back the fuck off!” He yelled at them, wrapping an arm around you. “If you guys would back the fuck up I’d willingly take photos, stop being fucking dicks!” he said just as one got closer to you. That pissed him the fuck off.
“Back the fuck up,” Ashley growled, pushing the man. He stumbled backwards, and became indignant.
“Hey man, it’s all legal, you’re in public,” the man with the camera said and Ashley growled.
“I didn’t say it was illegal, I said back the fuck up!” He held tighter to you and you hid your face in his chest the way he’d always instructed you to do when things like this happened. He knew how much you hated the cameras.
“You’re scaring my girl with your fucking bullshit, so either back the hell up or get a face full of fidelity.” He said to the people surrounding you. A few of them took the warning, but not many.
“Hold onto me,” he whispered to you and you nodded, and then he started shoving his way through the ring of people surrounding you.
You felt a camera bump your head and you cried out in surprise. Ashley stopped abruptly and moved you to his other side. The next thing you knew Ashley’s fist was making contact with the person holding the camera that had hit you. “Don’t touch my girl,” he growled before leading you to your side of the car. He helped you in and people were clicking cameras even through the windows. You hid your face and prayed one of them didn’t try to open the door or worse. You could hear them talking to you and then your heard a commotion. You looked up and saw Ashley beating the shit out of one of the people taking pictures.
They got worse, but Ashley didn’t care. He got in the car and nearly ran over three people as he peeled out of the parking lot.
“I’m sorry,” he told you, reaching over and taking your hand, rubbing it in circles shakily. Your hands were cold and clammy, and shaking slightly. You could see the guilt and anger mixed together on his beautiful face, and all you wanted to do was comfort him. You reached over and touching his face lovingly. He leaned against your hand and sighed heavily. “I can’t believe they did that,” he shook his head and you smiled at him.
“I love you,” you told him, hoping it would cheer him up, and evidently it worked, because a huge grin broke out on his angelic face.
“I love you too,” he replied, “And I’ll love you even more when you’re naked,” he teased and you giggled.
“Sure, Ash,” you giggled.
“I’m serious, because when I can see more of your skin I can see more of you, so there’s more of you to love.” He reasoned, and you just pursed your lips to keep from smiling.
“I don’t know how I put up with you,” you told him and he smiled.
“It’s because you love me,” he said and you nodded.