i did this one last on purpose oh ho ho get it

The Emoji Movie Script

the world we live in. it’s so… wonderous. mysterious. even magical. no… no no no.. not that world. i meant this one. the smartphone. each system and program app is it’s own little planet of perfect. technology. all providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. look who just sent me a text! addie mccallister? it must be a mistake. or a joke. or a scam! don’t send her your social security number. she’s right there! that’s our user, alex. and, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. and, because the pace of life gets, faster and faster… phones down in five. and attention spans get shorter and shorter… and… you’re probably not even listening to me right now. who has the time to type out actual words? and that’s where we come in. the most important invention in the history of communication! emo gees. that’s my home! textopolis. here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. christmas tree just has to stand there, all festive. merry christmas! it’s still september, tim! and princesses… i am so pretty. they just gotta wear their crowns and keep their hair comb. we are so pretty. devil, poop, thumbs up, they just show up and they’re good to go. but for the faces, the pressure is on. cryer always has to cry, even if he just won the lottery. hurray, i’m a millionaire! laugher’s always laughing, even if he’s just broken his arm. ahh!! ah! i can see the bone!! ah ah ah ah ah… and me, i’m a meh. so i gotta totally be over it all the time, you know? like meh, who cares. which is not as easy as it sounds. i gotta be mehhhhhhhhh i GOTTA! be! mehhhhhhhhh morning misses D, i see you have the little minis with ya! oh, they’re so… cute! NYAH, SO ADORABLE, I CAN’T TAKE IT! I WILL NEVER GET THEM TO SLEEP! STICK TO YOUR ONE FACE, WEIRDO. OLE! OLE! OH NO! OH NO! it’s hard to only act blasé. when, living in textopolis is…. just so exciting! hah low good simeans! those ah some shalp attach shays! yes, well we have business to attend to. whot kind off business? monkey business. ha ha ha ha, i sounded british. meh… Oh, that was really good.. meh ? meh … meh ha ha… what the freak ya doing there, mate? practicing. today is my first day on the phone. oh, droit. i’m gonna be so.. meh. what are you going to do? blah! me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! woo! puh-zow! gooday, mate! hey, koh knee chee wah! sorry emote icons!! oh, I hate knocking over the elderly.. let me help, let me help… oh, my colon!!! ducks… hey, is that the time? HEY, my eyes are up here, pal! woo ooh hoo! woo hoo! right on time! and last week, Alex sent me next to THIS text! huh? huh? HA HA HA THAT ELEPHANT PISSED HIMSELF HA HA HA AH HAH HA HAH HAH UH HUH HUH why are YOU laughing, freak? ho ho ha ha ha! now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. gene, please tell me you weren’t laughing just now. gene so help me i swear oh, he was, I remember. let’s go see if you can get it right. i have some bad news, gene, and i’m afraid that you’ll have the wrong reaction. ok, what’s the wrong reaction? anything other than meh. come on! i don’t want to be late! i’m not letting you go to work today. wait, WHAT? you’re just not ready, son. come on!! working in a cube is an Emoji’s whole purpose in life! everybody my age is working on the phone except for me! oh sweetie, that’s not true. ow! YEAH! i’m going to work on the phone and I’m only ten! that’s because I believe in you! should we wash our hands? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! we’re number two! we’re number two! see? i, i know i’m different, ok? but, i need to… i can be meh… i just… want to be a working emoji, you know, like… everybody else… and then… i would finally fit in, you know? ah, you fit in, honey. no I don’t, mom. I never have. but I could change all that if you just let me! just give me a chance! but what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? no dad, i’ll make the right face! look! maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah? you’re so handsome when you make that face. i think he’s ready, mel. meh. come on, dad. let me prove it to you. if you really think you’re ready… YES! yes i am! i promise i won’t let you down! wow! Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting day for all of you! oh, it’s really her! oh, pizza! first day on the job, hi, hi! don’t be nervous! i won’t bite! hi, i’m smiler! ho ho ho ho ho… DON’T TOUCH ME! Hi! i mean.. hey.. as you know, i’m smiler, i’m the system supervisor here, because I was the original emoji. here’s how it works. it’s nothing fancy! wait a minute… it’s really fancy! you each have your own cube on the emoji bar! if alex chooses you, should you be so lucky, your cube will light up! it’s showtime! the scanner will scan you, and that scan will get sent right up to alex’s text box. and let me tell you guys, there is nothing like getting scanned for the first time. a har, you’re gonna love it. now over here is the favorites section, where you’ll find all the most popular emo gees. and of course, you’ll find my cube here. whoo. you are smooth. just doing my duty. ha ha ha! what did i say? come on, tell me you aren’t just a little bit tempted? steven, for the last time, i don’t want to buy a timeshare. come on, man, it’s high five! you know me! i’m a favorite! Alex hasn’t picked you in weeks. when he stops picking you, you’re no longer a favorite. there’s gotta be some sort of mistake, i mean, look at me, i’m an attractive, hand-giving high five! oh! fistbump! come on in! hey, ladies! FISTBUMP? he’s a knucklehead! literally! look at him, I can look like that! ugh, ow, cramp.. big mistake.. oh… help me.. help up a hand.. oh… here you go… thanks mate… hey, little man, how about you create a distraction, and i’ll just slip under the rope! uh, oh, is someone lost? smiler, hiya, just leaving. yeah, you know, just killing time before i go back to my cube in the far corner where Alex can’t even See Me ANYMORE! you may not be a favorite anymore, but you will always have a place, in a cube! yeah, in the nosebleeds… uh, i’m standing right here? words hurt. the most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself… basically, happy itself… i am always smiling… places, please! emo gees to your cubes! attention, we’ve got incoming! gotta be meh, gotta be meh. oh my gosh, my own cube! i can’t believe it… oh, i could put a plant over here, and over here could go an inspirational calendar, okay, gotta be meh… look at our son get on there, i’m beaming… with pride! you don’t think he’ll actually get picked, do you? heiroglyphics. heiroglyphics was an ancient language of picture forms. does that remind anyone of anything. hello. a language of pictures… anyone? early heiroglyphics back in ancient… i gotta reply to addie’s text! what should i write? nothing! nothing? words aren’t cool. ok, be cool, be cool… alright, alex is not sure how he wants to play this… oh! i would really love it to be me! beam me up! beam me up! i need thumbs up on standby! oh yeah! thumbs up is going in! wait! alex is changing his mind! he’s moving! ok, looks like it’s gonna be meh… i’m so nervous, i could almost shrug. we are go for meh! initiating scan! okay, you can do this. ah! i can’t do this! i can’t do it! stop the scan! i can’t, it’s too late! oh! what’s he doing? he’s making the wrong face! good for him, little… wait, what? ugh. abort, abort! oh, shi… shut it down, shut it down! ah! what is that emoji? all the emo gees present, evacuate the cube! evacuate the cube! i gotta get out of here! i’m trying! oh, jeez. sorry, everybody. that is not what i meant to do! i kinda.. i kinda panicked.. are you even a meh at all? uh, who, me? like you are, is a malfunction! a malfunction? no, i can be meh, just give me one more chance? you know what would be really fun? a board meeting, where we can find out what to do with you! i just wanted to be useful, you know, fit in! now everybody’s calling me a malfunction. i am a malfunction. even if you are a malfunction, gene, your mom and dad still love ya. i knew you weren’t ready. let’s get you out of here and take you home. one day, all of this will blow over, and everyone will almost forget about what you did. until then, you should probably stay locked up in the apartment. wait, you’re gonna hide me away? you’re embarrased of me. it’s for your own safety. we’re trying to protect you, son. gene, where are you going? i’m not going to run away from this. i’m an emoji, and, even though i’m not exactly sure which one… i’ve gotta have some sort of purpose here, i know it. gene, no! sweetie, please! so, how’d it go, gavel? hey, lightbulb, tell me what’s going on in there. what… poop… what is it? tell me turd, tell me truth. what happened? i know it was an accident. we all have accidents you’re so soft, poop. not too soft, i hope. i came up here to defend myself, but, uh, you seem pretty happy. so, good news? i’m always happy. oh, right, yeah, truth. but the only thing that could ever make me unhappy, is if one of our emo gees has made a mistake. which would cause alex to lose faith in the phone… and then, our whole gets wiped out! smiler, i devil pinky swear promise to you that i will never, ever make a mistake in the cube again. oh, we know you won’t, gene. we know you won’t! ha ha, you know, the first time you said it it sounded genuine, but then you repeated it, and, and then, now it’s weird. we’re setting you up! with our best anti virus bots! so they’ll, like, uh, they’ll just, they’re gonna fix me? actually, delete you. but yes! wait, what? if you get deleted, you don’t have to worry about department heads, or the future, or lying about being a malfunction! because you’re deleted, right? right! good job! bots! no! stop, he’s escaped! party time! oh, wait a minute… the air is better here! beer, tea… i’m coffee! sorry… ish… so ish e. my old cube! ugh, pinkeye. mike! my name’s not mike… ah! there’s AV bots coming! what, me? just because i’m in the wrong section? holy toledo! what do we do? quick! this way! let’s go! don’t tell anyone you’re about to see this. they’ll never find us down here. where are we? the basement? nope. welcome to the loser lounge, where the emo gees who never get used, hang out. go fish! fishcake with swirls sweep so you won’t cry. sweep so you won’t cry. sweep so you won’t cry. i almost got deleted! me! high five! hey, what’s up high five? they weren’t trying to delete you, they were trying to delete me. you? what’s so important about you that they’d send out an entire team of bots? they say… i’m a malfunction. gasp oh, you bringing malfunctions in here now, high five? for crying out loud, abandoned luggage, that had better not be my leftover chinese food… uh… what chinese food? huh ha! do you have any idea what it’s like to be living large? hashtag blessed? the favorite of the favorites, and then demoted to this pit of despair? here, will you hit my callouses for me? at least you’re a working emoji, that’s all i ever wanted. well, if that’s all it will take you to be satisfied, then just find a hacker and get reprogrammed. it’s not that complicated. where would i find a hacker? in the piracy app, duh. ugh. and who took my clear nail polish? piracy app? to get there, i mean, i have to leave textopolis. so? i’ve done it. would you be a brother. one of the princess emo gees left the phone altogether, now she lives on the cloud… mmm… ooh, that is good. i’m sure the hacker that helped her do that could easily reprogram you. The name’s jailbreak. jailbreak? that’s great? reprogrammed. i just need to get reprogrammed, and then i can finally be the meh i was meh to be! help me find that hacker high five, will you? please? maybe this hacker can help you, too? like, rewrite some code? get you into the favorites sections? wait a minute! ow. i’ve been trying to use my charisma and sensitive entitlement to get me back on top when all I need is a hacker! today’s your lucky day! let’s roll! hey, can i come too? talk to the hand, bretheren. i thought i was… bye, felicia. ciao, fishcake with swirls. daddy’s headed back to the VIPs where he belongs! wait, what about the bots? good point, good point. ow, ow ow, ow… hey… i shouldn’t have picked the cactus. i shouldn’t have picked it. you didn’t even try to get the tree, it’s baffling. let’s go. high five? hello? high five! where are you? i’m right here! here we are! end of the text aisle. no way. come on, gene, it’s perfectly safe! ah! gene, help me! high five! oh no, this is all my fault, high five, I… i’m just messing with you! it’s just one of those rubber finger monster puppets from the eighties, i collected the whole set! alright, you coming? uh, what do i do? what do you mean? just take a step through the other side. this, is it. the next time i come back here, i’ll be a real meh. high five? woah! are you finished? where, where are we? welcome… to the wallpaper! wow. this place is incredible! each app is a whole new world. ow, that’s my face, get off my face, thank you. what is this place? WeChat! it’s like a whole other world! oh, it is. what are they? they’re bubble pups, they might be cute, but man, are they clean. bubble pups? they’re stickers, gene, try to get with the program? this is so cool! wait, what’s in that one! everybody’s talking about themselves! how does he know so many people? none of these people know him, but they like him, and that’s what matters in this life, popularity. uh, i, i think i’d rather just have a real friend. a real friend? how’s that going to get you anywhere? what you need are fans! they give you complete and unrelenting support! as long as you’re on top. poor gene, i blame myself. i blame you, too. i just wanted to be supported. you just wanted a vacation. you take that back, mel. bots, they haven’t found gene by now. he must have skipped town. you mean the wallpaper? our boy’s on the run. how about we find him ourselves? yeah, sure. tell those bots to follow those mehs. i’m sure they’ll know about all those freaky deaky apps Gene would hide out in. i’m really good at making plans, you guys, right? here we are, the piracy app! this is where we’ll find jailbreak. um, but this is, the dictionary app. that’s just what alex wants his parents to think. this is called a skin. really? what could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? just try to keep up, this place can get a little rough. ahoy mateys, look who’s back! high five! i’m a bit of a celebrity here, always welcome. ow! loser! come on, follow me. oh, great, emo gees! i thought the conversation just got dumber. ugh, internet trolls, just ignore them. eventually, they’ll get a job, or a girlfriend, or some sort of purpose in life, and then they’ll stop. virus, we’ll just, we’ll just walk over this way… hi! it’s so great to see you again! do i know you? it’s spam! just sign here and i can get you special discounts on vitamins and coupon offers that can save you up to 25 percent! 25 percent? nonono no no, don’t get sucked in! back off, spam! it’s the only way to do it. back off! thank you very much! you can illegally download our CD right here! hey, trojan horse, how are you? yeah, what’ll it be had? i’ll have a bottle of… hack, daniels, hmm? maybe with a plate of… cheese, and hackers, kapeesh? you try to buy a hacker, you can just ask, you know. oh, sorry, um, yes. we’re looking for a hacker named jailbreak. oh, i know a guy who could hook you up. right over there. oh, yes. patable. no, not him. her! wait, he’s a she? hey! jailbreak! mind if we join in? yes. that’s the thing about the internet, is that you never know if someone’s being ironic or sincere. i sincerely, unironically want you to go away. ha ha ha ha, so good… so here’s the thing, my friend gene here has a little problem. well, see, i’m supposed to be a meh, but i don’t really feel… yeah, yeah, and we thought that you could help… the princess, you know, off the phone… woah, hold up, that’s not a meh face. bots, they’re after me! how are you doing that? look, it’s just something that i can do, can you help us? follow me. bots, delete my history! i need to wipe my entire hard drive! i made the most delicious cinnamon buns! maybe if there was something to uh, jog my memory? come on! move! hey trolls, wipe our mailbox wearing a tuxedo! hi, it’s so great to see you again! this tunnel will get us out of here! move! get us out of here! move! did that cloud taste sweet to you? ow. ow. ow. help me. help, i’m stuck! sweet motherboard! where am i? candy crush! get me out of here! hey, cornface! try getting him out the top! already on it! hold tight, gene! woah! woah! this feels very off.. and smells. i mean, it smells delicious, but, i still don’t like it! the game obviously thinks you’re a candy, even though you’re, weirdly misshapen, you know? what do i do? stay very still! don’t worry, we’ve got your back! right, high five? hey, fingers! you wanna focus? for your information, i happen to have a sugar addiction, and it’s a very, serious… hey, finger head, we have to get Gene out of the game without blowing him up! i don’t want to blow up! we have to match up the candies so that Gene will drop to the bottom. and we can’t match him with any yellows, or else… oh! don’t do that, please don’t do that. watch. got it? knock 3 in a row, don’t blow gene up, got it. and, we have to be careful. yeah yeah yeah. careful! woo hoo! candy! yo! no no no! don’t do yellow! do NOT do the yellow! i said careful! hey, addie! i… i was just wondering, if, you are… tasty. what? um… delicious. excuse me? sweet. hey addie! uh… hi nikki. see you later, alex sugar crush. ah! i’m so over this. Wireless Repair Service, how may I help you? i’d like to make an appointment. it’s like this phone is playing games with me! woah! hey, what does this do? get me out of here! ooh… suck it in… stop it… stop it… ow ow ow… it’s not working! well, there’s one option left. we line you up with the yellows. but you said not to do that! special candies get transported to that jar. the game might think that you’re a special candy. and… what if it doesn’t think i’m a special candy? well… ah! jailbreak, hello? hello, jailbreak? uh, sorry. what if it doesn’t think i’m a special candy? oh, i’m not too worried about it. alright, just do it. gene, gene! you’re alive! you were trying to see if i had somehow turned into candy, weren’t you? yes i was. and you have not! hey, looks like something popped up on alex’s calender. ah, i’m sure it’s nothing. uh, alex made an appointment at the phone store? calm down, everyone, calm down. don’t worry, everything is fine. maybe alex just wants to buy some accessories. uh, his appointment is with techinical support. well, i’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to figure this out. uh, his appointment is for tomorrow. then maybe it’s just for some routine maintenance? uh, actually, it’s to erase the phone. listen, gene, i’m about to become your knight in shining armor. you are? oh yeah. but first, we need to get uploaded to the cloud. that’s where we’ll find the source code to reprogram you. the… cloud? isn’t that off the phone? ding dingding ding! you got it! mmhm, yeah, the cloud! off the phone! uh! we’re in candy crush, oz, i know a shortcut to just dance, which is right next to dropbox, where we can get uploaded to the cloud. mmhm, of course, just go dive into the dropbox and vroom! hold up, here’s the stinker. before they let us into the cloud, we have to get past this… firewall. the firewall uses face identification. it’s really annoying, because i’ve already tried to get through. guessed wrong once, and now i’m locked out for life. locked out for life? you’re thinking, because i can make different faces, the firewall will think i’m different emo gees! yeah, i wanted to say it, because it was my idea. you know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for. you know what, well, let’s hit the road. high five, you coming? i’m coming! why do i always think i’m going to come around on black licorice? ah! oh! my precious… move it! sudden death, here we come! let’s try this one… you tube? wow, what an original treat, and i don’t even need a remote. that guy is so expressive. he reminds me of gene. yes, something’s really wrong here. our son is a malfunction, and you should have never let him go into that cube. don’t blame me for that now, i am hopping mad at you. see? mary, i think we’re being followed, but don’t overreact. uh oh. i told you not to overreact. what are you doing now? i could be in there for hours. hey, where are you going. i think we should go our seperate ways, mel. i thought i knew the meh that i married, but maybe i don’t. but, mary? this tunnel will help us avoid the bots. thanks for helping us. it’s really, really nice of you. NPD, dude. you’re helping me! move along, move it, why so slow? high five, stop, why are you getting so close? back off. i can’t stop now, i’m having a sugar rush! i’m going to go around you. if i stop moving, my heart’s going to explode! coming through, jailbreak! watch out! hey! watch it, knuckle butt! i can’t feel my face! ha ha! jailbreak, you said back there that i’m… helping you. i’ve been trying to get past that firewall for months! ha ha ha ha ha, come on, come on, the faster we go, the faster I can become a favorite! ah ha ha ha ha ha! woo hoo! look at me i just want to bounce out of here, get off the phone, and live on the cloud! hee hee! ow! what just happened! you know, you don’t like it here? there are so many rules here! what is up with that? the cloud’s supposed to be amazing, it’s full of dreams too… oh, sugar crash. i can’t hold on anymore. catch me, gene, catch me! and you can be whoever you want! thanks. we’re free! come on! oh, oh my gosh, my hands are sweating. you know what, come to think of it, i don’t really remember there ever being a hacker emoji. oh, um, you know, you’re taking too much of my brain space, let’s try to keep the chit chat to a minimum. ooh, someone likes you. what are you talking about? this just like when peace sign gave me just one finger, i knew she was in love with me. let’s go! ugh, i’m never eating another piece of candy ever again… high-five, don’t do it! don’t you do it! it’s already been in there once. don’t do it. wow. move it! are my fingers getting fat? i’ll tell you what, this bandage wasn’t so tight before. okay, we get through this app, and dropbox is right on the other side. we just need to keep it super DL in here. and no matter what, we can’t, turn it, on. OMG this turned it on! what? i’m a hand, it’s a big red button! woah. no no no no! what’s happening! welcome to just dance! follow my moves and you get to move forward! do the wrong moves and you get an X! three strikes and you’re out! out? what does she mean by out? digital death. thanks to you, fingers, now we’re going to have to dance our way out. which is alright with me, because I can shake it like michael. or michael’s glove, anyway. Are you ready to daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnccccccee? this is bad, gene, i can’t dance, i got no groove! come on, everybody can dance! not me, okay? i’m really stiff… see? you don’t… understand? okay, no no. stop, stop. you have to stop. i see now what you are saying? just follow her moves. ready to dance in three! this i can’t do! two! dude! just shut up and… dance! i’m just doing it! hee hee! shamon! jailbreak! i got you! look, just do the music, express yourself! dance? yeah, you got it! now throw some sauce on that dance burrito! woo hoo! i’m doing it! i’m finally nailing this dance! you got it! hee hee! oh ho ho! great job! now you’re moving on to free dance! impress us with your moves to move forward! more dancing? you’re killing it, gene! nice! take it gene! you can break it! wait a minute! i’ve never seen that dance before! what’s it called? the emoji… bob? i love it! you do! everybody! do the emojiiiiiiiiiii bob! ha ha ha! woo! oh! princess! woah! you’re the princess emoji! you never got off the phone! new player! who? oh no! we gotta go! no worry, they’re robots, they can’t dance! downloading thought protocol… can’t dance, he says. heh. hey alex, you gonna dance for us? alex, that’s extra homework for you. yeah, alex’s getting wicked, ha ha ha… alex must be deleting the app! watch out! we gotta get out of here! come on! hoo! this song is my jam! high five! come on! let’s go! hurry! gene! i got you! gene! gene… hey, wait a minute, where’s high five? alex trashed the app.. and high five right along with it. wait, what? wait, trashed? high five is in the trash? he wanted to dance… but, i knew it was a bad idea… i’m so sorry… we gotta get him out of there. gene, dropbox is right here, we have to get to the cloud! and the trash is on the other side of the phone! we don’t know how many other bots are out there! i’m sorry! no, wait! i can’t go without high five. i don’t care how far away it is. gene… that’s my friend down there. i’m not going to just let him get deleted. what, what is it? i’ve always just thought, you’ve got to look out for number one… but what good is it to be number one, if there aren’t any other numbers? wow, okay. i’m sorry, this is, this is my malfunction, i just, i can’t be meh about anything, this is why i’m going to be reprogrammed. well, actually, it’s kinda cool. wait, really? no, i think i know a shortcut. we can take the music streams in spotify. let’s go give that big hand a hand. come on! now it’s trashed the just dance app, and our bots are offline, and it’s giving me a real headache… i am so angry! i really need to stay happy. can we please lighten the mood? no one can resist la fiesta! ole! not that happy. ow! we’ve only got four hours before alex’s phone appointment. if they find a malfunction on the phone, we are all going to be wiped! she said wiped! aim higher, steven. i didn’t want to have to do this, but it is fun to press buttons. the illegal upgrade! now that makes me happy! ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! i just want to dance.. dance… argh! quiet, you saucy gypsy. ugh, where am i? hi! it’s so great to see you again! you’re in the trash, fingers for brains! get away from me, troll! hi! it’s so great to see you again! i’ve got to get out of here. you can’t! and at the end of the day, the trash gets emptied, and we’re all going to die! oh no, no, no! this is the last face you will ever see! this is spotify? yep, every one of those streams is a different song. is it safe? are you sure that this is a good idea? that’s the point of the wave, dude! can we at least pick a… a colorless stream? okay buzzkill… alex, a bunch of people are hitting the promenade, and i think addie might be there, too… that’s perfect! i have an appointment down there, anyway! i’ve got to get this phone fixed! hey, bubble butt! yeah. ah, much better. so, i gotta ask, is it true that when a princess whistles, birds fly down from the skies.. hello, stereotype, that is a complete and total myth! i’m sorry. did you realize that in the first emoji set, a woman can either be a princess, or a bride? that’s why I need to get to the cloud, where you can be whatever you want to be! get ready! whale song coming! wait, wait, whale what? whale song! from alex’s biology DVD! woah! wow! woah! ha ha ha ha. you’re not going to see that sitting around in a cube. funny, you went out of the cube, and I went in. gene, that means you can’t be yourself. what’s the point? you know, i think you’re pretty cool just the way you are. we’re, we’re going to need this. nobody knows, the touchscreen dramascene. nobody knows my screenshot… trash? me? i used to be somebody. here i am, in an old email Alex never sent. addie, blah blah blah blah blergh… and then there’s me! high five! right there! doing my job! FYI, nobody cares about you. just leave me, troll, and let me die! in this dump alone! let me look for the world’s smallest violin in here, so that you can play it! is that the hand angel of mercy? has she finally come for me? give me your hand! i mean, give me yourself! take my hand, angel! i’m ready to take my place amongst the other great hands of the past. it’s me, gene! gene? the one and only. gene! i got him! take me with you! high five! let go of me! you’d leave me down here? you were wrong, troll, people do care about me! and i’m not upset, troll! do you see how not upset I am? gene! you came back for me! you saved me… it wasn’t just me, jailbreak helped, too. she’s a hugger. give her a squeeze. oh, nonono no. not really, nothing great. i’m not feeling your feelings, relieve me! you filthy trolls, I inhaled your stench, and I was once one of you, so I feel your pain. so now, go. be free! smooth sailing from here. huh ha ha! ugh. gene! gene… gene? are you insta gramming? oh, where is my gene… oh, mary, you’ve really done it this time. no, you haven’t. mel? what are you doing in alex’s trip to france album? i was looking for you. none of this is your fault, mary. it’s mine. what do you mean? is that a tear on your cheek? it’s my fault gene is the way he is. i have other expressions, too. i think they’ve just been buried away. but with gene going missing, and thinking i might have lost you, too… oh, mel, why didn’t you tell me? i didn’t know myself. right now, i’m so overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you. mary, my love for you burns with the intensity of a red hot flame. oh, i like it. let’s go find our son. together. we’ll always have paris, mary. so you’re a princess. so you have a little tiara, very fancy. is it true when a princess whistles, birds fly that’s what i said! no, guys, that’s a stupid myth! what awkward virgin haven are you living in? go read an e-book! educate yourself! uh, jailbreak? what the? what is that? smiley must have upgraded her bots! let’s get out of here before it… hi, do you remember me, it’s smiler! i’m coming to you live from the amphitheater, why don’t you come back to textopolis and we can talk through our differences, okay? my friend here will escort you, alright, i’m gonna see you soon, buddy, bye now! we’re actually going to delete them in front of everyone. psst, it’s still on. it’s still on? oh! jiminy, attack the frauds! seperate! take a look! jailbreak! gene! this way! it’s still onto me! over here! let’s go! we have to make it to dropbox! yes! no! go low! woah! don’t worry, it can’t get in. it’s illegal malware, and this app is secure. come on. welcome to dropbox! you are about to leave the phone. remain seated, please! permanecer sentados por favor! might want to hang on! why do they call it dropbox, anyway? oh, this is why! i see why now! i’d better not see that candy corn again! we made it! you guys, chill. we still have to get past… that. oh… shaw. welcome to the firewall, how may I help you? alright, here goes! what should I do? sit in the corner, and don’t say a word. keep those soft fingers to yourself. yes, your majesty, princess of nightmares! now gene, step onto the password icon, and i’ll feed you the passwords. okay. okay. ten, eleven, two thousand and two. ten, eleven, two thousand and two. ow. cough. access denied. okay, try a different expression. is it going to blast me every time i messed up? yeah, kind of. what do you mean kind of? ready? welcome to the firewall. his favorite food. chimichangas! chimichangas? ow. access denied. huh. this might take a while. oh boy. krav maga! krav maga. major lazer! major lazer. what did i do now? ow. skate, or die! access denied. denied. denied. denied. i don’t get it! we’ve tried all of the important things in alex’s life! his favorite pet, his sport, his favorite grandma… i’m sorry, gene. i let us all down. now, if I had to come up with a password, I’d probably use the name of a girl I like. i’ve been all over the phone! he’s never mentioned a girl. yes he has! hi. when I was in the trash, I read a very interesting email, but, i’m just a dunce, in the corner, forbidden to speak… what email? sorry, what? what email? uh, took it out, at school, he was declaring his feelings of love for her, i guess instead of sending it he tossed it in the trash. high five, this is very important. what is her name? her name, yes! excellent question. it… was… tina. karen. marge. lint, lindsay. ack, allison. sarah, or, lupita. i want to say lupita, but that doesn’t feel right, now i’m saying it out loud. ugh.. gotta find that email, i think i can access the trash. i got it! addie! yes! yes, that’s it, addie! i knew i’d get there! dear addie, you and I, we are like diamonds in the sky. you’re a shooting star I see. a vision, ecstacy. shining bright like a diamond. he used a high-five, see? guess now we know why he trashed it. ooh, shade. guys, should we try this? addie! access granted. oh snap. this place, is, amazing. wow, i can’t believe it. woah. one little emoji could sure get lost in a place like this. i… i guess we should, make you, a meh before that bot comes back home. oh, oh, so we’re gonna do that now. we had a deal, right? yeah, okay. right. i, uh, guess i’ll start hacking. ha! we did it, gene! all our dreams are coming true! i’ll be alex’s favorite again, and you’ll be a real meh! ha ha, yeah! do the hand dance. do the hand dance. and pinky. pop it with the pinky. pop it with the pinky. yeah, but this all seems kinda super fast now, doesn’t it? i didn’t expect to be having these feelings right now. well, maybe you should go and express them while you still can. so, uh, i’ve been thinking, um, ever since we. jailbreak, you’re the coolest, most interesting emoji i’ve ever met. and, after all the adventures that we’ve had, i’m just not sure that i want all of that to go away. because, my feelings, right now, are, like, huge. i just think that they could be enough for me to want to stay the way that I am. if it means that i could stay here, with you, like, forever. forever and ever. and ever. maybe longer than that, even? like in the fairy tales. uh… wait, wuh, what is that? gene, if this is about you deciding not to be meh, then, i am all about that. i like you just the way you are, but i had a plan. right. i’m not just some princess, gene, waiting for my prince. i mean, uh, what you said was beautiful, but, gene… ha ha ha! you’re all… meh! the source code worked! turns out I didn’t need it. for the first time in life, meh is all I feel. oh! gene! i have an appointment. i’m a little early. no prob. i can take you right now. jailbreak! ah! don’t do that! that freaking huge bot has got gene back inside the phone! what? he left being more meh than the meh-est meh face i’ve seen! what did you say to him? it’s what I didn’t say. we gotta go get him. how are we going to get there in time before he gets deleted? ugh.. i can’t believe i’m doing this. you tell anyone you saw this and I’ll crack more than those knuckles. woah. birds do like princesses! it’s not a myth! it’s not a myth at all! what happened with becoming a favorite? because i’d rather have one real friend. let’s go get him. i can’t wait to see that emoji’s face! look at that expression! is that for realizing that you’ve put all of textopolis at risk? causing Alex to question our reliability? hmm? hey, now that’s going too far, even for me! if we could delete this malfunction, before he gets dissapointed, Alex will realize there’s nothing wrong with the phone. and any last words? meh. well, it’s too late for that. delete him! wait! you delete gene, you’ll have to delete me, too. what? i have the same malfunction gene has. dad? oh gosh, i don’t know what to do! yes i do! BOTS! sorry misses meh. wow. i did not see that one coming. smiler, I think you might be making too much stink out of all this. oh really? how about you’re next? i was wrong, gene. i should have believed in you all along. oh, what a touching daddy son reunion moment! it reminds me of the time I deleted you both! oh wait! that’s this time! delete the two malfunctions! How’s that for an entroof gasp oh, great. I can’t reach! oh no! what did you do to my beautiful monst Ow my tooth! hand, button! jailbreak? oh, gene… you really are a meh… what happened to looking out for number one? being number one doesn’t matter if there aren’t any other numbers. alex’s appointment! he’s deleting the phone! nononono no no no no! show me alex. are you sure you want to delete everything? do it! red alert! alex, no! game over. fellas, i’m afraid this is the last call. dude, addie’s here. you should go over. every time I try, i screwed up! i don’t even know how to tell her how I feel! if we help alex connect to addie, maybe he won’t delete us. i might be able to bypass the wipe and get a text through to him. but we’ll only have time to send one. maybe I should go! he has love in his eyes. send me! alex looks nervous, too! he’s more shy than nervous! stop! it’s gene. he’s all of those things! emo gees should only be one thing! oh, really? gasp the princess! linda? not now, mom! gene, you got this. that’s not me anymore. but I have to try. it’s starting! no! it’s ending! almost in? working on it! mom? dad? no.. i’m in! last time I was in this cube I screwed everything up. gene, why do you think I came back? it’s because of you. me. it’s all inside of you, gene. just try to bring it back. and do you. high five! i don’t want to wave goodbye! it’s now or never, gene! jailbreak, now! woah! she got this emoji! no way! hey, i got your text! that’s one super cool emoji! i know, right? a lot of feelings in one! i get it! i like that you’re one of those guys who actually expresses feelings! yeah, that’s me! so, do you think you cou yes, i’d love to go to the dance with you. we made it! oh, i could have lost you, peter pinky finger… oh, you wretchy ring finger, even you, tiberius thumb… change your mind? yeah, maybe it’s weird, but i’m going to hold onto it. gene, you did it! you saved us all! oh, mel… gee hee eene! gee hee hee heene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! and us! and high five! and high five! and high five! and high five! hey, what happened, gene? slap me some skin! and a little orange for the pinky! hey high five! save a little hand for later! unless you know the hamburger! back on top of the hand pile! you’re not on the list! wait, what? what’s going on? ha! from now on, everyone is welcome! wait, what is all this? it’s for you, gene! everybody! the emoji bob! this is so jazzy… go eggplant! go eggplant! go eggplant! we are out of Alex’s pocket, emo gees! this is not a butt dial! to your cubes! are we up and running? roger that. good, because we got incoming! looks like it’s gonna be gene. hey gene, ready to try out your new cube? in 3, 2…

A Flower’s Path | Final

GIF Credit to: ygo-gx

Pt. 1 | Pt. 2

Pairing: Ban Ryu (Do Ji Han) X Reader

Genre: angst, coming-of-age, slight!romance

Word Count: 4,712

Request: Hi! For the Hwarang scenarios, what about one where you are a great enough fighter that you are asked to be the ONLY female hwarang (but against your will). Once inside, Ban Ryu is constantly complaining about how you shouldn’t be there and how it’s a disgrace for a woman to be in the Hwarang house. The two of you keep bashing heads bc even though you didn’t want to be there, you weren’t going to take that from him. Once the princess gets there she gets jealous that most of the hwarang gets close with the female hwarang and tries to get rid of her. - @starbooks13


I’m going to kill Ban Ryu. I seriously cannot think of any other reason why he would be near the bathhouse when it’s my scheduled time. Maybe he really is a pervert. I should expose him! Yeah. That’ll get him to leave me alone. He didn’t see anything, right? Ugh. I need to confront him about this or else it’s going to keep bothering me-

“Um, (Y/N).”

“Yeah?” your head shot up, and you found five pair of eyes on you. They were talking about the princess, right? “Oh yeah, sorry, the princess. I don’t know. Maybe she’s here to see how we’re doing to give intel to Her Majesty.”

Soo Ho leaned in closer to the table, causing the rest of you to do the same as if he was about to say something that should only be shared among your group. “I hear… that Her Highness is actually coming here in search of a great warrior to be betrothed to soon,” he whispered.

Your brows furrowed. “She wants to wed to a Hwarang? I thought that she would most likely be arranged to one of the princes of the other kingdoms.”

“She doesn’t want to be with a man who has always been sheltered inside his own castle,” Yeo Wool followed up with some realization. He usually caught on quickly. “Princess Sook Myung herself is great at fighting. I think she wants to be with someone like that, but I am not sure why the queen would allow it. Wouldn’t it be better to marry from another royal family to secure an alliance?”

“Her Majesty always has tricks up her sleeves,” Ji Dwi mumbled from the side.

After some more light-hearted conversations with the boys, when it was time to finish up dinner and call it a night, you and your friends cleaned up your trays of food and walked out of the dining room together.

The moon was full tonight, lighting up the sky with million of other stars. Sounds of crickets could be heard from around you. You couldn’t wait to get some sleep from another long day in the Hwarang House. “I’m still envious that you get your own room (Y/N),” Sun Woo revealed. “You don’t know how difficult it is to be together with these guys.”

“I know what you mean,” Soo Ho agreed, nodding his head.

“I am sure you don’t know what he means, Soo Ho,” Yeo Wool chuckled, “because I am sure he’s talking about you and Ban Ryu fighting all the time in the middle of the night. Right, Ji Dwi?”

Ji Dwi turned to you, a small smile his face. “You’re really lucky, (Y/N).” He was the first one to start walking back to the males’ room.

One by one, your friends bid you goodnight and followed each other back into their rooms for the night. Watching them from behind, you realized that you were lucky. Fate might have brought you into a group that you were hesitant to be a part of, but she also brought some people into your life that you can’t find yourself without anymore.

Before, you were usually stuck in your own household. The only person you could share things with was Soonja after your mother passed away. Your father was always busy with meeting with the other True Bones. When you went out to Okta where most of the other royal bloods hung out, it was difficult to get along with the other ladies as you were different from them. So, thinking back to what Master Wi Hwa said on your first day of arrival, you were gradually starting to see that this place would allow you to grow.

Most of the young elites were already heading in the same direction as the others, so you begin to walk to your own room which was in the opposite direction. The days were usually loud Master Wi Hwa teaching class in the morning and the martial arts or performing arts practices in the late afternoon. When the sun fell, making room for night, that’s when you were able to find some peace. The air was quite cool, making your walk more enjoyable.

You were only halfway when you felt a hand grab your shoulder. In surprise, you jumped up and immediately turned around. “Ban Ryu!” you exclaimed.

“Sh!” Ban Ryu placed a finger in front of his lips, signaling you to quiet down.

You looked behind him to see if anyone noticed, and when you found not a single person, you looked back to face the man in front of you. There were times when you both were in each other’s faces, but you never took the time to pay attention to his features more than the insults that were leaving his mouth.

Standing in a spot where the moon illuminated right onto his face, you can see why the other maidens would gush over Ban Ryu despite his cold demeanor. Though you would never let him hear it out loud, he was indeed handsome.

“Have you come to spite me one last time before the day ends?” you snapped. Then you figured you had a more important question. “No, actually, w-why did you enter the bathhouse when it wasn’t your time?”

As much as you hated bringing up that memory, you wanted an explanation. Your cheeks started to become warm again, and Ban Ryu also became flustered once more. You noticed his eyes has never met yours even once since the incident. His own ears were turning red. Who would believe you if you told that the tough, heartless Ban Ryu, son of Park Young Sil, had an expression that was mortified?

“That’s exactly what I wanted to discuss with you.” He was trying to sound as calm as possible, but you found the small waver in his voice. “I honestly didn’t know it was your time! Master Wi Hwa had told us that you had a different designated time from us, but he never specified in fear that some of the men would purposely find you in the shower. He just told us to stay away from the bathhouse until after dinner.”

“Which is making me more suspicious of you…”

“I thought it would be great if I didn’t have to wait to share the shower with the others at least once. I didn’t have any ill intentions, nor did I s-see anything.”

“Is this an apology, Ban Ryu?”

Ban Ryu closed his eyes and sighed. You wanted to laugh at his defeat.

“Alright, I’ll take it as an apology. If…”

“If?”

“You stop calling me names. And thinking so lowly of me just because I am a woman.”

Ban Ryu finally looked at you, straightening his posture. “That is all you ask of me?” he asked.

“It seems like no big deal to you, but it would mean a lot to me,” you admitted. “I am daughter of Jung Young Sik, the last True Bone of my family. Because I have no brother to later take care of the family, I have decided to do what I can to protect my own. It is not my job as a lady, but I refuse to stay still and helpless. I can cook, I can clean, I can conceive a child. But my role right now is not to be pretty maiden trying to win attention of any royal blood. You have seen me fight during training, Ban Ryu. I am so much more.”

You felt your eyes start to water. Because if it wasn’t for the tough training here and enduring in a house of men, you wouldn’t have seen it for yourself. Whether you are in the queen’s game or not, maybe Father trusted you to become stronger in this place. Home was too small.

“Then I will do just that, (Y/N).”

For the first time, Ban Ryu called you by your name. Between the two of you, you finally felt some sign of respect. Trying to make light of things instead of letting your tears go in front of someone you had been mad at since the beginning, you joked, “Good. Because if you didn’t, I would’ve told everyone else about what you did.” Ban Ryu’s eyes widened. He started to say something but decided to turn around and hurry to his room. You let out a small laugh, watching his retreating back.

It was the day of the princess’ arrival.

After the long practices and training, you felt like you would actually to pull them off okay. Your morning started out great. The usual snarky remarks from Ban Ryu stopped, and you ate breakfast peacefully with your group of friends. Master Wi Hwa reiterated that all of the Hwarangs give Her Highness an outstanding performance.

More than the dance, you were quite nervous about the short sparring show you & Sun Woo would have to perform next. At first, it was going to be you and Soo Hoo as you two were the best warriors among the others, but after you noticed how much Sun Woo improved, you asked if he could take Soo Hoo’s place instead.

“Is it too late to have Soo Ho spar with you instead?” Sun Woo asked, standing next to you in line as you waited for the princess. You noticed how anxious he was by his fidgeting.

“Didn’t know you were such a scaredy-cat,” you said as you continued to look at the top red gazebo where Master Wi Hwa stood along with your martial arts instructor. “You’ll do just fine, Dog-Bird.”

When you saw your chief instructor and martial arts instructor turn in a direction and bowed, signaling the princess’ appearance, the rest of you followed suit. You soon looked up and found the Royal princess. Her aura alone gave off a vibe of authority. She did look like a warrior, just as you’ve heard from the others.

“So,” Princess Seokmyung started, “these are the Hwarangs.”

She quickly scanned each of you.

“Though you have gone through some tests to become a member, I have come today to observe you all myself. I’ll see if you have what it really takes to become a Hwarang. I have the greatest expectations.”

A chair was brought out, and Her Highness took a seat. Those who weren’t performing moved to the side so that those who were performing could take the center. You stood alongside with Sun Woo, and the both of you watched your other friends. “Yeo Wool definitely stands out,” you said while observing the dance.

“You think so?” Sun Woo chuckled. “Look at Soo Ho. I think he just made a mistake. That guy. He should just stick with swords in battle.”

“Ji Dwi and Han Sung look good, too. I saw those two practicing a lot.”

“Ban Ryu, too. I saw him dance by himself. He thought no one was watching, but I saw him on my way to Ah Ro,” Sun Woo commented. “Speaking of which, he’s been acting pretty weird lately.”

You looked from Han Sung to Ban Ryu. He was so focused on the performance, and you never really saw that side of him. You remembered how much he struggled and hated to be a part of the dance group. “Weird. How so?”

“How can you not know?” Sun Woo asked, taken aback. “Gosh, I thought you would be the first to think so considering he’s always verbally attacked you. It’s been two days since he hasn’t done so.”

“Oh. Yeah, I guess I’ve noticed.”

“So, what is it?” Sun Woo asked, a mischievous smile on his face. “Did you blackmail him or something? Did you finally beat him up?”

Instead of answering, the dance had finished, and you decided to ignore Sun Woo and applaud instead. Your heart thumped hard from inside your chest. You were next.

From above, the princess also applauded after the performance ended. Master Wi Hwa watched her expression. “We also have a sparring show for you, Your Highness. I hope you’ll enjoy it. They are great warriors.”

Everyone cleared way from you and Sun Woo. The both of you picked up your respective swords.

“A woman?” the princess questioned, finally taking interest in you when she saw you.

“Yes, Your Highness,” Master Wi Hwa answered. “(Y/N) is Jung Young Sik’s daughter. The other True Bones have spoken of his daughter’s exceptional skills. The Queen was the one who brought her in. She was also the one who brought in Sun Woo.”

“Her Majesty brought those two into the Hwarang House,” the princess said. She carefully watched as the two fighters from below swing their weapons at each other, blocking, striking, defending.

The match went on for another minute or two until you finally hung your sword right in front of Sun Woo, a few inches from his neck, ending the sparring. Everyone around you cheered, and you placed the sword back down at your side. Sun Woo shared a smile with you, patting your head for a job well done, and the both of you returned to your friends’ side who continued to cheer for you. “As expected of the cool (Y/N) and Sun Woo!” Han Sung exclaimed. “Wow!” He brought you into a hug, and the rest joined in. You all jumped around in celebration of a successful show.

Something pang in the princess’ chest from watching you all. She had no idea why she felt the way she did, but she didn’t like the sight of it. Especially knowing that her brother, the king, was among the men. His sister was finally here, but he’s probably giving his attention to another girl.

She continued to watch the group, and her eyes spotted one who wasn’t among the group of cheering joys. From a distance, his eyes was basically glued onto the female Hwarang.

“I don’t like it,” the princess said.

Master Wi Hwa was flustered. He spent all this time training and teaching. He really didn’t expect those words to be what came out. He was ready to be praised. His face fell. “Uh- What did you not like about it, Your Highness?”

“You think that if these group of Hwarangs go out into a battlefield that they’ll be ready to put their lives on the line? What good will a routine do for them? Battles are heartless, cold, raw. They need to fight like it’s life or death.”

“My apologies, Your Highness but-”

“And the woman? Take her out.”

“(Y/N) is one of the greatest fighters. I think her being a part of Hwarang is a great asset to us. I don’t understand why we need to do that. The Queen was the one who asked for us to bring (Y/N) in.”

“Her Majesty may not see it is a problem.” The princess murmured the following sentence. “She’ll do anything to keep the throne and protect herself.”

Her normal voice resumed. “But she does not see what I see. Keeping (Y/N) here will be a distraction to the rest of the Hwarangs. She may be good with weapons, but the whole group needs to be at its best. We can’t expect her to fight well and the others do the bare minimum. They all need to be focused. For the better of everyone, we can afford to lose the girl.”

You stopped jumping when you heard a throat clear from behind you. You quickly let go of the group circle and turned around to find Master Wi Hwa and the princess in front of you. Automatically, you bowed at her presence.

“Jung Young Sik’s daughter.”

“Your Highness.”

“Your fighting skill surprises me if I’m going to be honest. Who taught you how to hold a sword?” the princess asked.

“Thank you for the compliment, Your Highness. I started at very young myself but soon found myself a trainer for a while.”

“And you decided to fight instead of what you intentionally supposed to do as a royal blood? Was your father not against this?”

“At first, Your Highness, but he was the one who asked me to join Hwarang. I have decided to use my skills for a bigger purpose.”

The princess watched you without blinking an eye, and you secretly felt intimidated. Why was she interrogating you so much?

“I see. So, you did not intentionally want to become a part of Hwarang, but it was because of your father and the Queen. If you want, I can do you a favor and excuse you from being among these other elites.”

You shifted your position so that you were facing the princess. You frowned, and your brows knitted. You couldn’t tell if she was asking you or ordering you. It made you uncomfortable. The male Hwarangs stood quiet around you. “There seems to be a misunderstanding, Your Highness. It is true that I did not want to come here at first, but I have no resentment towards my father or Her Majesty for being here now. How could I? I… I have lots to learn, and I think I can be someone who can serve the kingdom as well as its people.”

“It has come to my attention that having a woman among a group of men will not help serve the kingdom nor its people,” the princes countered sternly. “We cannot risk having anything cause this group to fall through. You all are here to train and fight. Nothing else.”

“Your Highness,” a voice interrupted from nowhere. You looked to find Ji Dwi stepping up. “My apologies for speaking up. You say that Hwarang was only built as soldiers, but I believe that we are much more than that. We were not taught to kill. We were taught to be loyal to our country, to our parents and teachers, to each other. We don’t retreat from our enemies. We never kill without a cause. Before (Y/N) entered, most of us were arrogant and only thought of ourselves. Despite being judged by many, (Y/N) stuck through the difficult beginnings and showed us that we all have so much work to do.”

“Do you think those morals will help keep you alive in the case of a war?” the princess snapped, angry that someone would dare defend you and speak against her own words.

“How do we win a war if we can’t even work together?” Ji Dwi challenged. “It’s not every man for themselves. It’s us for a whole country, Your Highness.”

“And you don’t think you can do it without her?” The princess glared at Ji Dwi, but he refused to back down.

“As I have said, Your Highness. We were taught to have trust and brotherhood among friends. Since (Y/N) is here now, she is included.”

You were touched by Ji Dwi’s words though a part of you felt anxious that he was talking back to a member of the Royal Family. Did he not have fear?

“I disagree with you. I do not believe that (Y/N) should stay.” the princess said. You watched all eyes fall on you. “But.” You could barely breathe. The princess wanted you to leave Hwarang. You thought since she was a female warrior herself that she would’ve agreed to keeping you. “I will compromise. If (Y/N) can win against me in a sparring match, I will revoke my decision.”

“Your Highness, my apologies, but I do not think that-” Master Wi Hwa cut off his own words when the princess’ personal servant brought the princess a sword.

“This time, it’ll be a real combat. It is only when one of us gets cut that the fight stops.”

You froze. You knew that if you lost, you would have to leave right away. Even though the princess decided the rules, you knew if there was a chance that you cut her, it would still feel like a loss. How could you dare lay your sword on the princess?

Ban Ryu couldn’t believe the princess’ suggestion, either. When he heard how you might have to leave, his heart fell. In the beginning, he would’ve sided with the princess. But now?

You tightened your grip around your sword’s handle. A million thoughts ran through your mind, thinking of many ways this battle could end. You looked over at Master Wi Hwa who stood still, watching you. You looked over to your friends who couldn’t hide their worried expressions. From the side, you spotted Ah Ro who had been watching since your sparring with her brother. You even found Ban Ryu who had an expression you kind of wish you were able to read.

The gong sound rang out, and you quickly returned to your sight to the girl in front of you. You couldn’t afford to pay attention to anyone else except the very person in front of you. The princess stroked, leaving you to dodge her and then block her when she tried again. All anyone could hear was the sound of the two swords clashing with each other.

“I can’t watch this,”Han Sung said, hiding behind Sun Woo’s shoulder.

You could tell that the princess learned martial arts at a young age, too. She was good. Whatever the result, it would be fair. Out of all the opponents you faced, she was the toughest yet.

Avoiding her sword was easy as first, but as seconds went on, your own sword started to feel heavy in your hands. The sweat from your palm was making you lose grip in your sword. You hit Princess Seokmyung’s sword back and watched her grit her own teeth. You took the chance to breathe for a second as she also tried to regain control. Exhaustion hit both of you.

“We don’t have to fight, Your Highness,” you tried to reason.

The princess paused as if she was reconsidering the whole thing, but you heard a few of the guys on the sidelines cheer you on. The princess frowned and brought her sword up again. “I’ll let you know when we don’t have to fight any longer.”

As if ignited by a new fire, the princess pointed her sword at you and started to charge. Your quick reflex blocked the sword right away, but the princess continuously attacked you, pushing you back. Again and again she went until your hand couldn’t hold onto your weapon any longer, and it was knocked out.

Your sword clattered on the ground right next to you. “(Y/N)!” you heard a few voice cry out. You glanced down, thinking of how you were going to pick it back up since you were at a disadvantage. Princess Seokmyung swung her sword in front of you.

“Huh. Guess you weren’t as great as people were making you out to be,” the princess scoffed as if she’d already won. She took the moment to look away from you and at the other Hwarangs. “This is exactly how it’ll be outside. Don’t take your training lightly.”

In that same time, you took it as your moment to quickly retrieve your sword. From the side of your eyes, the princess caught you immediately and slashed her sword against your skin as you did to hers. Master Wi Hwa stepped in. “That will be enough!”

Feeling a pain on your right arm, you grimaced and pulled your sleeve up to reveal a cut. You looked up at the princess and found her doing the same. You exhaled, thanking that it was over though you were still afraid of what would happen next. Princess Seokmyung made eye contact with you. Everyone else stayed silent. Master Wi Hwa was about to say a word when the princess made her own words heard first. “Not many people are lucky enough to land a hit on me,” she said, looking at the blood on herself. Sure, she was jealous of you and the relationships you had with everyone at Hwarang House. The princess herself barely had any friends. Even the brother she was supposed to know, she had never even seen his face. Looking back at you, the princess knew it wouldn’t be right to remove you. “You have proven yourself, (Y/N).” She then called her servant to be take her back to the palace to be treated by the doctor of the Royal Family.

As she walked away, you bowed down to her. “Thank you, Your Highness.”

You watched her walk out of the Hwarang House. Once she disappeared, cheers surrounded you, and you were smothered in your close friends’ hugs. “Wait, wait!” you heard a female voice yell louder as it got closer to you. Ah Ro pulled the males away from you and took you out of the circle. She glared at the men. “Miss (Y/N) is hurt. I need to take care of her first.”

Smiling, you followed Ah Ro into her room and sat down. She sat right next to you and started to treat you right away. “You continue to amaze me, (Y/N),” Ah Ro said. “Even though I was standing quite far, I was so nervous watching you fighting with Her Highness. I’ll never be able to figure out why you enjoy combat so much! You should just learn sewing. I can teach you.”

You laughed. “I was scared, too. I’m just glad it ended okay.”

Ah Ro almost finished bandaging your wound when a knock appeared at the door. When you looked to see who was at the door, to your surprise, you found Ban Ryu standing. “Ban Ryu…” you said.

“I can finish for you Miss Ah Ro.” Ban Ryu walked into the room. Ah Ro had a look of confusion on her face at first but then stood up from her chair.

“Oh, y-yes. Thank you. I was going to go look for my brother anyway.” She handed Ba Ryu the bandages and then looked at you. “I’ll be right back, Miss (Y/N).”

When Ah Ro left, you didn’t know where to look. For some reason, it felt kind of embarassing to look at Ban Ryu. He took Ah Ro’s seat and continued to wrap the cloth around your arm quietly. You gulped, and licked your lips, finding it quite difficult to breathe. This was the closest you’ve ever been to him. You even felt his hand brush softly against your arm. What were you supposed to say to him? “What you did was really stupid today,” Ban Ryu said once he tied the bandage together so that’ll stay in place.

“Hm?”

“Going against the princess?” Ban Ryu looked at you, but instead of the intense look he usually showed, his eyes were softer. “It was very stupid.”

“What was I supposed to do? I know everyone keeps wanting me to go, but-”

“You didn’t let me finish,” Ban Ryu told you. He took a breath. “Stupid… but brave. Sort of attractive.”

Attractive?

“Anyway, in a way, I don’t think I can do what you did. Everyone knows I have it tough with my stepfather. Whatever he says, I do. I follow his words and don’t ever think about doing otherwise. I just… I just wished you didn’t get hurt while doing so, (Y/N).”

You brushed the bandage on your arm. “It hurts, but it would’ve probably hurt me even more if I didn’t do anything. Before, I wanted to do things my way and make it easy for myself, training by myself at home. What kind of life would it be if things just came easy? Things will be tough, dirt and all. If I can stand all of the tough things that come my way, I’ll be rewarded with a lot of light in my life. I can grow to be more than just a daughter of a True Bone.”

Soil, water, sunlight - you needed them all.

A slight small smile appeared on Ban Ryu’s face. He nodded his head and stood up, getting ready to leave. Before that, he turned back and called your name. “Yes?”

This time, Ban Ryu avoided your eyes. “Well, you know how we’re free to go back home tomorrow? If you want, we can leave Hwarang House tomorrow. Maybe go to Okta? Anywhere, really.”

You smiled. “I’d really like that. Thank you for asking, Ban Ryu.”

Abandon All Hope (Part 6)

A/N: This was a fic I have been really excited about writing. Believe me, I was constantly talking about it to my friend for days. This is kinda an AU but kinda not. Everything that is happening in TWD is still happening. Some stuff has changed for the Winchesters background with Supernatural but there’s still a lot of the same things happening. I hope you all enjoy and would love to hear your positive feedback. Let me know if you’d like to be tagged.

A/N 2: Thank you all so much for all the love and support. Means the world to me! :)

Summary: (y/n) Winchester is just trying to survive the new world of the apocalypse with her brothers, Sam and Dean. While looking for your father, John, you come across two men who welcome you to their community, Alexandria. The events that follow will test the limits of not only your mind and body, but also your heart.

Pairings: Eventual Daryl x reader (almost), Dean x sister!reader, Sam x sister!reader

Characters: (y/n), Daryl, Sam, Dean, Rick, Negan, Rosita, Dwight, Saviors, Abraham, Glenn, Maggie, Carl, Saviors, Simon

Word Count: 2217

Warnings: language, angst as fuck, death, Negan (yes he’s a warning), smidge of fluff

Tagging: @thewalkingdeadfanfiction, @daryldixonwife1987, @omlbeans, @the-silver-iris, @sebbylover24, @megsense, @loricwizardbluetoastedcake, @youandyourstupidrope, @canadianjelly, @abnormal-angel, @shinydixon, @onlydarylnormanfic, @jodiereedus22, @crystallovesdaryl, @negan-dixon, @deepsouth, @multifandomizer, @sapphire1727, @johnmurphys-sass, @waayward-angel, @sassy-specter, @tiquismiquis, @frozenhuntress67, @saintflandus, @steve-rcgcrs, @jasondialurentisnews

Masterlist [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] [Part 4] [Part 5] 

Originally posted by canonspngifs

Originally posted by morcielago

Originally posted by steals-dreams

“Man oh man, I do not appreciate you killing my men.” Negan said while standing back up from his crouching position in front of Rick. You watched as the man you knew to be your father threaten your new group. “Also, when I sent my people to kill your people for killing my people, you killed more of my people. Not cool. Not fucking cool.”

Negan began to make his little speech while swinging the bat he had in his hand. You recognized it to be your fathers, but it was now wrapped with barbed wire. You felt numb to the world. You knew something bad was going to happen you just didn’t know how bad it will be. You didn’t even notice the tears in your eyes until they started to drip down your face. You felt Daryl squeeze your hand a little tighter to try and reassure you, but you both knew it wasn’t going to help much.

Keep reading

His Maid, Overtime: 2

Summary: I’m really tired right now, just finished writing, and wanted to post this. I don’t have enough energy to write a proper summary, so here it goes…there’s violence,  little comedy, and just the right amount of Sebastian.

Parings: Sebastian x Demon!reader

@wintersdoll

Warnings: Violence, smut

Word Count: 4536

Originally posted by sunrise-mystifies

Your name: submit What is this?

The servants had confusion and fear on their faces.

There was a light blush on Mey-Rin’s cheeks as she twiddled her thumbs. “Um…should we do something?”

Finny’s eyes were wide. “I don’t know. Maybe we should stay put?”

Bard scratched the back of his neck with furrowed brows. “So…we’re just gonna pretend like we weren’t just locked in the broom closet?”

Ciel growled in irritation as he banged on the closet door. “Open this door right now! Do you hear me?!”

As he panted from exhausted, Tanaka laughed in the background.

“Do forgive me, young master. It’s for your own safety.”

Ciel scoffed from the voice that came from the other side. “Damn you. I can see your smirk from in here! Open this door, that’s an or—!”

“Ciel.”

He froze once he heard your voice.

“Please, I assure you I wouldn’t allow this if I knew it wasn’t crucial to your safety.”

“Y/N…you agreed to locking us in here?”

“Well…actually, it was my idea to begin with. Please, stay here until either me or Sebastian comes. Ciel. Trust me.”

He clenched his teeth, and after a few moments of silence, he sighed and fell back against the door. “Fine.”

“Thank you. I’ll have to ask you all to keep quiet. Don’t worry, this won’t take long.”

“Y/N.”

“Yes? What is it?”

“Come back. That’s an order.”

There was a few moments of silence. “Yes, my lord.”

Keep reading

the world we live in. it’s so… wonderous. mysterious. even magical. no… no no no.. not that world. i meant this one. the smartphone. each system and program app is it’s own little planet of perfect. technology. all providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. look who just sent me a text! addie mccallister? it must be a mistake. or a joke. or a scam! don’t send her your social security number. she’s right there! that’s our user, alex. and, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. and, because the pace of life gets, faster and faster… phones down in five. and attention spans get shorter and shorter… and… you’re probably not even listening to me right now. who has the time to type out actual words? and that’s where we come in. the most important invention in the history of communication! emo gees. that’s my home! textopolis. here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. christmas tree just has to stand there, all festive. merry christmas! it’s still september, tim! and princesses… i am so pretty. they just gotta wear their crowns and keep their hair comb. we are so pretty. devil, poop, thumbs up, they just show up and they’re good to go. but for the faces, the pressure is on. cryer always has to cry, even if he just won the lottery. hurray, i’m a millionaire! laugher’s always laughing, even if he’s just broken his arm. ahh!! ah! i can see the bone!! ah ah ah ah ah… and me, i’m a meh. so i gotta totally be over it all the time, you know? like meh, who cares. which is not as easy as it sounds. i gotta be mehhhhhhhhh i GOTTA! be! mehhhhhhhhh morning misses D, i see you have the little minis with ya! oh, they’re so… cute! NYAH, SO ADORABLE, I CAN’T TAKE IT! I WILL NEVER GET THEM TO SLEEP! STICK TO YOUR ONE FACE, WEIRDO. OLE! OLE! OH NO! OH NO! it’s hard to only act blasé. when, living in textopolis is…. just so exciting! hah low good simeans! those ah some shalp attach shays! yes, well we have business to attend to. whot kind off business? monkey business. ha ha ha ha, i sounded british. meh… Oh, that was really good.. meh ? meh … meh ha ha… what the freak ya doing there, mate? practicing. today is my first day on the phone. oh, droit. i’m gonna be so.. meh. what are you going to do? blah! me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! woo! puh-zow! gooday, mate! hey, koh knee chee wah! sorry emote icons!! oh, I hate knocking over the elderly.. let me help, let me help… oh, my colon!!! ducks… hey, is that the time? HEY, my eyes are up here, pal! woo ooh hoo! woo hoo! right on time! and last week, Alex sent me next to THIS text! huh? huh? HA HA HA THAT ELEPHANT PISSED HIMSELF HA HA HA AH HAH HA HAH HAH UH HUH HUH why are YOU laughing, freak? ho ho ha ha ha! now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. gene, please tell me you weren’t laughing just now. gene so help me i swear oh, he was, I remember. let’s go see if you can get it right. i have some bad news, gene, and i’m afraid that you’ll have the wrong reaction. ok, what’s the wrong reaction? anything other than meh. come on! i don’t want to be late! i’m not letting you go to work today. wait, WHAT? you’re just not ready, son. come on!! working in a cube is an Emoji’s whole purpose in life! everybody my age is working on the phone except for me! oh sweetie, that’s not true. ow! YEAH! i’m going to work on the phone and I’m only ten! that’s because I believe in you! should we wash our hands? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! we’re number two! we’re number two! see? i, i know i’m different, ok? but, i need to… i can be meh… i just… want to be a working emoji, you know, like… everybody else… and then… i would finally fit in, you know? ah, you fit in, honey. no I don’t, mom. I never have. but I could change all that if you just let me! just give me a chance! but what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? no dad, i’ll make the right face! look! maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah? you’re so handsome when you make that face. i think he’s ready, mel. meh. come on, dad. let me prove it to you. if you really think you’re ready… YES! yes i am! i promise i won’t let you down! wow! Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting day for all of you! oh, it’s really her! oh, pizza! first day on the job, hi, hi! don’t be nervous! i won’t bite! hi, i’m smiler! ho ho ho ho ho… DON’T TOUCH ME! Hi! i mean.. hey.. as you know, i’m smiler, i’m the system supervisor here, because I was the original emoji. here’s how it works. it’s nothing fancy! wait a minute… it’s really fancy! you each have your own cube on the emoji bar! if alex chooses you, should you be so lucky, your cube will light up! it’s showtime! the scanner will scan you, and that scan will get sent right up to alex’s text box. and let me tell you guys, there is nothing like getting scanned for the first time. a har, you’re gonna love it. now over here is the favorites section, where you’ll find all the most popular emo gees. and of course, you’ll find my cube here. whoo. you are smooth. just doing my duty. ha ha ha! what did i say? come on, tell me you aren’t just a little bit tempted? steven, for the last time, i don’t want to buy a timeshare. come on, man, it’s high five! you know me! i’m a favorite! Alex hasn’t picked you in weeks. when he stops picking you, you’re no longer a favorite. there’s gotta be some sort of mistake, i mean, look at me, i’m an attractive, hand-giving high five! oh! fistbump! come on in! hey, ladies! FISTBUMP? he’s a knucklehead! literally! look at him, I can look like that! ugh, ow, cramp.. big mistake.. oh… help me.. help up a hand.. oh… here you go… thanks mate… hey, little man, how about you create a distraction, and i’ll just slip under the rope! uh, oh, is someone lost? smiler, hiya, just leaving. yeah, you know, just killing time before i go back to my cube in the far corner where Alex can’t even See Me ANYMORE! you may not be a favorite anymore, but you will always have a place, in a cube! yeah, in the nosebleeds… uh, i’m standing right here? words hurt. the most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself… basically, happy itself… i am always smiling… places, please! emo gees to your cubes! attention, we’ve got incoming! gotta be meh, gotta be meh. oh my gosh, my own cube! i can’t believe it… oh, i could put a plant over here, and over here could go an inspirational calendar, okay, gotta be meh… look at our son get on there, i’m beaming… with pride! you don’t think he’ll actually get picked, do you? heiroglyphics. heiroglyphics was an ancient language of picture forms. does that remind anyone of anything. hello. a language of pictures… anyone? early heiroglyphics back in ancient… i gotta reply to addie’s text! what should i write? nothing! nothing? words aren’t cool. ok, be cool, be cool… alright, alex is not sure how he wants to play this… oh! i would really love it to be me! beam me up! beam me up! i need thumbs up on standby! oh yeah! thumbs up is going in! wait! alex is changing his mind! he’s moving! ok, looks like it’s gonna be meh… i’m so nervous, i could almost shrug. we are go for meh! initiating scan! okay, you can do this. ah! i can’t do this! i can’t do it! stop the scan! i can’t, it’s too late! oh! what’s he doing? he’s making the wrong face! good for him, little… wait, what? ugh. abort, abort! oh, shi… shut it down, shut it down! ah! what is that emoji? all the emo gees present, evacuate the cube! evacuate the cube! i gotta get out of here! i’m trying! oh, jeez. sorry, everybody. that is not what i meant to do! i kinda.. i kinda panicked.. are you even a meh at all? uh, who, me? like you are, is a malfunction! a malfunction? no, i can be meh, just give me one more chance? you know what would be really fun? a board meeting, where we can find out what to do with you! i just wanted to be useful, you know, fit in! now everybody’s calling me a malfunction. i am a malfunction. even if you are a malfunction, gene, your mom and dad still love ya. i knew you weren’t ready. let’s get you out of here and take you home. one day, all of this will blow over, and everyone will almost forget about what you did. until then, you should probably stay locked up in the apartment. wait, you’re gonna hide me away? you’re embarrased of me. it’s for your own safety. we’re trying to protect you, son. gene, where are you going? i’m not going to run away from this. i’m an emoji, and, even though i’m not exactly sure which one… i’ve gotta have some sort of purpose here, i know it. gene, no! sweetie, please! so, how’d it go, gavel? hey, lightbulb, tell me what’s going on in there. what… poop… what is it? tell me turd, tell me truth. what happened? i know it was an accident. we all have accidents you’re so soft, poop. not too soft, i hope. i came up here to defend myself, but, uh, you seem pretty happy. so, good news? i’m always happy. oh, right, yeah, truth. but the only thing that could ever make me unhappy, is if one of our emo gees has made a mistake. which would cause alex to lose faith in the phone… and then, our whole gets wiped out! smiler, i devil pinky swear promise to you that i will never, ever make a mistake in the cube again. oh, we know you won’t, gene. we know you won’t! ha ha, you know, the first time you said it it sounded genuine, but then you repeated it, and, and then, now it’s weird. we’re setting you up! with our best anti virus bots! so they’ll, like, uh, they’ll just, they’re gonna fix me? actually, delete you. but yes! wait, what? if you get deleted, you don’t have to worry about department heads, or the future, or lying about being a malfunction! because you’re deleted, right? right! good job! bots! no! stop, he’s escaped! party time! oh, wait a minute… the air is better here! beer, tea… i’m coffee! sorry… ish… so ish e. my old cube! ugh, pinkeye. mike! my name’s not mike… ah! there’s AV bots coming! what, me? just because i’m in the wrong section? holy toledo! what do we do? quick! this way! let’s go! don’t tell anyone you’re about to see this. they’ll never find us down here. where are we? the basement? nope. welcome to the loser lounge, where the emo gees who never get used, hang out. go fish! fishcake with swirls sweep so you won’t cry. sweep so you won’t cry. sweep so you won’t cry. i almost got deleted! me! high five! hey, what’s up high five? they weren’t trying to delete you, they were trying to delete me. you? what’s so important about you that they’d send out an entire team of bots? they say… i’m a malfunction. gasp oh, you bringing malfunctions in here now, high five? for crying out loud, abandoned luggage, that had better not be my leftover chinese food… uh… what chinese food? huh ha! do you have any idea what it’s like to be living large? hashtag blessed? the favorite of the favorites, and then demoted to this pit of despair? here, will you hit my callouses for me? at least you’re a working emoji, that’s all i ever wanted. well, if that’s all it will take you to be satisfied, then just find a hacker and get reprogrammed. it’s not that complicated. where would i find a hacker? in the piracy app, duh. ugh. and who took my clear nail polish? piracy app? to get there, i mean, i have to leave textopolis. so? i’ve done it. would you be a brother. one of the princess emo gees left the phone altogether, now she lives on the cloud… mmm… ooh, that is good. i’m sure the hacker that helped her do that could easily reprogram you. The name’s jailbreak. jailbreak? that’s great? reprogrammed. i just need to get reprogrammed, and then i can finally be the meh i was meh to be! help me find that hacker high five, will you? please? maybe this hacker can help you, too? like, rewrite some code? get you into the favorites sections? wait a minute! ow. i’ve been trying to use my charisma and sensitive entitlement to get me back on top when all I need is a hacker! today’s your lucky day! let’s roll! hey, can i come too? talk to the hand, bretheren. i thought i was… bye, felicia. ciao, fishcake with swirls. daddy’s headed back to the VIPs where he belongs! wait, what about the bots? good point, good point. ow, ow ow, ow… hey… i shouldn’t have picked the cactus. i shouldn’t have picked it. you didn’t even try to get the tree, it’s baffling. let’s go. high five? hello? high five! where are you? i’m right here! here we are! end of the text aisle. no way. come on, gene, it’s perfectly safe! ah! gene, help me! high five! oh no, this is all my fault, high five, I… i’m just messing with you! it’s just one of those rubber finger monster puppets from the eighties, i collected the whole set! alright, you coming? uh, what do i do? what do you mean? just take a step through the other side. this, is it. the next time i come back here, i’ll be a real meh. high five? woah! are you finished? where, where are we? welcome… to the wallpaper! wow. this place is incredible! each app is a whole new world. ow, that’s my face, get off my face, thank you. what is this place? WeChat! it’s like a whole other world! oh, it is. what are they? they’re bubble pups, they might be cute, but man, are they clean. bubble pups? they’re stickers, gene, try to get with the program? this is so cool! wait, what’s in that one! everybody’s talking about themselves! how does he know so many people? none of these people know him, but they like him, and that’s what matters in this life, popularity. uh, i, i think i’d rather just have a real friend. a real friend? how’s that going to get you anywhere? what you need are fans! they give you complete and unrelenting support! as long as you’re on top. poor gene, i blame myself. i blame you, too. i just wanted to be supported. you just wanted a vacation. you take that back, mel. bots, they haven’t found gene by now. he must have skipped town. you mean the wallpaper? our boy’s on the run. how about we find him ourselves? yeah, sure. tell those bots to follow those mehs. i’m sure they’ll know about all those freaky deaky apps Gene would hide out in. i’m really good at making plans, you guys, right? here we are, the piracy app! this is where we’ll find jailbreak. um, but this is, the dictionary app. that’s just what alex wants his parents to think. this is called a skin. really? what could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? just try to keep up, this place can get a little rough. ahoy mateys, look who’s back! high five! i’m a bit of a celebrity here, always welcome. ow! loser! come on, follow me. oh, great, emo gees! i thought the conversation just got dumber. ugh, internet trolls, just ignore them. eventually, they’ll get a job, or a girlfriend, or some sort of purpose in life, and then they’ll stop. virus, we’ll just, we’ll just walk over this way… hi! it’s so great to see you again! do i know you? it’s spam! just sign here and i can get you special discounts on vitamins and coupon offers that can save you up to 25 percent! 25 percent? nonono no no, don’t get sucked in! back off, spam! it’s the only way to do it. back off! thank you very much! you can illegally download our CD right here! hey, trojan horse, how are you? yeah, what’ll it be had? i’ll have a bottle of… hack, daniels, hmm? maybe with a plate of… cheese, and hackers, kapeesh? you try to buy a hacker, you can just ask, you know. oh, sorry, um, yes. we’re looking for a hacker named jailbreak. oh, i know a guy who could hook you up. right over there. oh, yes. patable. no, not him. her! wait, he’s a she? hey! jailbreak! mind if we join in? yes. that’s the thing about the internet, is that you never know if someone’s being ironic or sincere. i sincerely, unironically want you to go away. ha ha ha ha, so good… so here’s the thing, my friend gene here has a little problem. well, see, i’m supposed to be a meh, but i don’t really feel… yeah, yeah, and we thought that you could help… the princess, you know, off the phone… woah, hold up, that’s not a meh face. bots, they’re after me! how are you doing that? look, it’s just something that i can do, can you help us? follow me. bots, delete my history! i need to wipe my entire hard drive! i made the most delicious cinnamon buns! maybe if there was something to uh, jog my memory? come on! move! hey trolls, wipe our mailbox wearing a tuxedo! hi, it’s so great to see you again! this tunnel will get us out of here! move! get us out of here! move! did that cloud taste sweet to you? ow. ow. ow. help me. help, i’m stuck! sweet motherboard! where am i? candy crush! get me out of here! hey, cornface! try getting him out the top! already on it! hold tight, gene! woah! woah! this feels very off.. and smells. i mean, it smells delicious, but, i still don’t like it! the game obviously thinks you’re a candy, even though you’re, weirdly misshapen, you know? what do i do? stay very still! don’t worry, we’ve got your back! right, high five? hey, fingers! you wanna focus? for your information, i happen to have a sugar addiction, and it’s a very, serious… hey, finger head, we have to get Gene out of the game without blowing him up! i don’t want to blow up! we have to match up the candies so that Gene will drop to the bottom. and we can’t match him with any yellows, or else… oh! don’t do that, please don’t do that. watch. got it? knock 3 in a row, don’t blow gene up, got it. and, we have to be careful. yeah yeah yeah. careful! woo hoo! candy! yo! no no no! don’t do yellow! do NOT do the yellow! i said careful! hey, addie! i… i was just wondering, if, you are… tasty. what? um… delicious. excuse me? sweet. hey addie! uh… hi nikki. see you later, alex sugar crush. ah! i’m so over this. Wireless Repair Service, how may I help you? i’d like to make an appointment. it’s like this phone is playing games with me! woah! hey, what does this do? get me out of here! ooh… suck it in… stop it… stop it… ow ow ow… it’s not working! well, there’s one option left. we line you up with the yellows. but you said not to do that! special candies get transported to that jar. the game might think that you’re a special candy. and… what if it doesn’t think i’m a special candy? well… ah! jailbreak, hello? hello, jailbreak? uh, sorry. what if it doesn’t think i’m a special candy? oh, i’m not too worried about it. alright, just do it. gene, gene! you’re alive! you were trying to see if i had somehow turned into candy, weren’t you? yes i was. and you have not! hey, looks like something popped up on alex’s calender. ah, i’m sure it’s nothing. uh, alex made an appointment at the phone store? calm down, everyone, calm down. don’t worry, everything is fine. maybe alex just wants to buy some accessories. uh, his appointment is with techinical support. well, i’m sure we’ll have plenty of time to figure this out. uh, his appointment is for tomorrow. then maybe it’s just for some routine maintenance? uh, actually, it’s to erase the phone. listen, gene, i’m about to become your knight in shining armor. you are? oh yeah. but first, we need to get uploaded to the cloud. that’s where we’ll find the source code to reprogram you. the… cloud? isn’t that off the phone? ding dingding ding! you got it! mmhm, yeah, the cloud! off the phone! uh! we’re in candy crush, oz, i know a shortcut to just dance, which is right next to dropbox, where we can get uploaded to the cloud. mmhm, of course, just go dive into the dropbox and vroom! hold up, here’s the stinker. before they let us into the cloud, we have to get past this… firewall. the firewall uses face identification. it’s really annoying, because i’ve already tried to get through. guessed wrong once, and now i’m locked out for life. locked out for life? you’re thinking, because i can make different faces, the firewall will think i’m different emo gees! yeah, i wanted to say it, because it was my idea. you know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for. you know what, well, let’s hit the road. high five, you coming? i’m coming! why do i always think i’m going to come around on black licorice? ah! oh! my precious… move it! sudden death, here we come! let’s try this one… you tube? wow, what an original treat, and i don’t even need a remote. that guy is so expressive. he reminds me of gene. yes, something’s really wrong here. our son is a malfunction, and you should have never let him go into that cube. don’t blame me for that now, i am hopping mad at you. see? mary, i think we’re being followed, but don’t overreact. uh oh. i told you not to overreact. what are you doing now? i could be in there for hours. hey, where are you going. i think we should go our seperate ways, mel. i thought i knew the meh that i married, but maybe i don’t. but, mary? this tunnel will help us avoid the bots. thanks for helping us. it’s really, really nice of you. NPD, dude. you’re helping me! move along, move it, why so slow? high five, stop, why are you getting so close? back off. i can’t stop now, i’m having a sugar rush! i’m going to go around you. if i stop moving, my heart’s going to explode! coming through, jailbreak! watch out! hey! watch it, knuckle butt! i can’t feel my face! ha ha! jailbreak, you said back there that i’m… helping you. i’ve been trying to get past that firewall for months! ha ha ha ha ha, come on, come on, the faster we go, the faster I can become a favorite! ah ha ha ha ha ha! woo hoo! look at me i just want to bounce out of here, get off the phone, and live on the cloud! hee hee! ow! what just happened! you know, you don’t like it here? there are so many rules here! what is up with that? the cloud’s supposed to be amazing, it’s full of dreams too… oh, sugar crash. i can’t hold on anymore. catch me, gene, catch me! and you can be whoever you want! thanks. we’re free! come on! oh, oh my gosh, my hands are sweating. you know what, come to think of it, i don’t really remember there ever being a hacker emoji. oh, um, you know, you’re taking too much of my brain space, let’s try to keep the chit chat to a minimum. ooh, someone likes you. what are you talking about? this just like when peace sign gave me just one finger, i knew she was in love with me. let’s go! ugh, i’m never eating another piece of candy ever again… high-five, don’t do it! don’t you do it! it’s already been in there once. don’t do it. wow. move it! are my fingers getting fat? i’ll tell you what, this bandage wasn’t so tight before. okay, we get through this app, and dropbox is right on the other side. we just need to keep it super DL in here. and no matter what, we can’t, turn it, on. OMG this turned it on! what? i’m a hand, it’s a big red button! woah. no no no no! what’s happening! welcome to just dance! follow my moves and you get to move forward! do the wrong moves and you get an X! three strikes and you’re out! out? what does she mean by out? digital death. thanks to you, fingers, now we’re going to have to dance our way out. which is alright with me, because I can shake it like michael. or michael’s glove, anyway. Are you ready to daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnccccccee? this is bad, gene, i can’t dance, i got no groove! come on, everybody can dance! not me, okay? i’m really stiff… see? you don’t… understand? okay, no no. stop, stop. you have to stop. i see now what you are saying? just follow her moves. ready to dance in three! this i can’t do! two! dude! just shut up and… dance! i’m just doing it! hee hee! shamon! jailbreak! i got you! look, just do the music, express yourself! dance? yeah, you got it! now throw some sauce on that dance burrito! woo hoo! i’m doing it! i’m finally nailing this dance! you got it! hee hee! oh ho ho! great job! now you’re moving on to free dance! impress us with your moves to move forward! more dancing? you’re killing it, gene! nice! take it gene! you can break it! wait a minute! i’ve never seen that dance before! what’s it called? the emoji… bob? i love it! you do! everybody! do the emojiiiiiiiiiii bob! ha ha ha! woo! oh! princess! woah! you’re the princess emoji! you never got off the phone! new player! who? oh no! we gotta go! no worry, they’re robots, they can’t dance! downloading thought protocol… can’t dance, he says. heh. hey alex, you gonna dance for us? alex, that’s extra homework for you. yeah, alex’s getting wicked, ha ha ha… alex must be deleting the app! watch out! we gotta get out of here! come on! hoo! this song is my jam! high five! come on! let’s go! hurry! gene! i got you! gene! gene… hey, wait a minute, where’s high five? alex trashed the app.. and high five right along with it. wait, what? wait, trashed? high five is in the trash? he wanted to dance… but, i knew it was a bad idea… i’m so sorry… we gotta get him out of there. gene, dropbox is right here, we have to get to the cloud! and the trash is on the other side of the phone! we don’t know how many other bots are out there! i’m sorry! no, wait! i can’t go without high five. i don’t care how far away it is. gene… that’s my friend down there. i’m not going to just let him get deleted. what, what is it? i’ve always just thought, you’ve got to look out for number one… but what good is it to be number one, if there aren’t any other numbers? wow, okay. i’m sorry, this is, this is my malfunction, i just, i can’t be meh about anything, this is why i’m going to be reprogrammed. well, actually, it’s kinda cool. wait, really? no, i think i know a shortcut. we can take the music streams in spotify. let’s go give that big hand a hand. come on! now it’s trashed the just dance app, and our bots are offline, and it’s giving me a real headache… i am so angry! i really need to stay happy. can we please lighten the mood? no one can resist la fiesta! ole! not that happy. ow! we’ve only got four hours before alex’s phone appointment. if they find a malfunction on the phone, we are all going to be wiped! she said wiped! aim higher, steven. i didn’t want to have to do this, but it is fun to press buttons. the illegal upgrade! now that makes me happy! ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! i just want to dance.. dance… argh! quiet, you saucy gypsy. ugh, where am i? hi! it’s so great to see you again! you’re in the trash, fingers for brains! get away from me, troll! hi! it’s so great to see you again! i’ve got to get out of here. you can’t! and at the end of the day, the trash gets emptied, and we’re all going to die! oh no, no, no! this is the last face you will ever see! this is spotify? yep, every one of those streams is a different song. is it safe? are you sure that this is a good idea? that’s the point of the wave, dude! can we at least pick a… a colorless stream? okay buzzkill… alex, a bunch of people are hitting the promenade, and i think addie might be there, too… that’s perfect! i have an appointment down there, anyway! i’ve got to get this phone fixed! hey, bubble butt! yeah. ah, much better. so, i gotta ask, is it true that when a princess whistles, birds fly down from the skies.. hello, stereotype, that is a complete and total myth! i’m sorry. did you realize that in the first emoji set, a woman can either be a princess, or a bride? that’s why I need to get to the cloud, where you can be whatever you want to be! get ready! whale song coming! wait, wait, whale what? whale song! from alex’s biology DVD! woah! wow! woah! ha ha ha ha. you’re not going to see that sitting around in a cube. funny, you went out of the cube, and I went in. gene, that means you can’t be yourself. what’s the point? you know, i think you’re pretty cool just the way you are. we’re, we’re going to need this. nobody knows, the touchscreen dramascene. nobody knows my screenshot… trash? me? i used to be somebody. here i am, in an old email Alex never sent. addie, blah blah blah blah blergh… and then there’s me! high five! right there! doing my job! FYI, nobody cares about you. just leave me, troll, and let me die! in this dump alone! let me look for the world’s smallest violin in here, so that you can play it! is that the hand angel of mercy? has she finally come for me? give me your hand! i mean, give me yourself! take my hand, angel! i’m ready to take my place amongst the other great hands of the past. it’s me, gene! gene? the one and only. gene! i got him! take me with you! high five! let go of me! you’d leave me down here? you were wrong, troll, people do care about me! and i’m not upset, troll! do you see how not upset I am? gene! you came back for me! you saved me… it wasn’t just me, jailbreak helped, too. she’s a hugger. give her a squeeze. oh, nonono no. not really, nothing great. i’m not feeling your feelings, relieve me! you filthy trolls, I inhaled your stench, and I was once one of you, so I feel your pain. so now, go. be free! smooth sailing from here. huh ha ha! ugh. gene! gene… gene? are you insta gramming? oh, where is my gene… oh, mary, you’ve really done it this time. no, you haven’t. mel? what are you doing in alex’s trip to france album? i was looking for you. none of this is your fault, mary. it’s mine. what do you mean? is that a tear on your cheek? it’s my fault gene is the way he is. i have other expressions, too. i think they’ve just been buried away. but with gene going missing, and thinking i might have lost you, too… oh, mel, why didn’t you tell me? i didn’t know myself. right now, i’m so overwhelmed with passionate feelings for you. mary, my love for you burns with the intensity of a red hot flame. oh, i like it. let’s go find our son. together. we’ll always have paris, mary. so you’re a princess. so you have a little tiara, very fancy. is it true when a princess whistles, birds fly that’s what i said! no, guys, that’s a stupid myth! what awkward virgin haven are you living in? go read an e-book! educate yourself! uh, jailbreak? what the? what is that? smiley must have upgraded her bots! let’s get out of here before it… hi, do you remember me, it’s smiler! i’m coming to you live from the amphitheater, why don’t you come back to textopolis and we can talk through our differences, okay? my friend here will escort you, alright, i’m gonna see you soon, buddy, bye now! we’re actually going to delete them in front of everyone. psst, it’s still on. it’s still on? oh! jiminy, attack the frauds! seperate! take a look! jailbreak! gene! this way! it’s still onto me! over here! let’s go! we have to make it to dropbox! yes! no! go low! woah! don’t worry, it can’t get in. it’s illegal malware, and this app is secure. come on. welcome to dropbox! you are about to leave the phone. remain seated, please! permanecer sentados por favor! might want to hang on! why do they call it dropbox, anyway? oh, this is why! i see why now! i’d better not see that candy corn again! we made it! you guys, chill. we still have to get past… that. oh… shaw. welcome to the firewall, how may I help you? alright, here goes! what should I do? sit in the corner, and don’t say a word. keep those soft fingers to yourself. yes, your majesty, princess of nightmares! now gene, step onto the password icon, and i’ll feed you the passwords. okay. okay. ten, eleven, two thousand and two. ten, eleven, two thousand and two. ow. cough. access denied. okay, try a different expression. is it going to blast me every time i messed up? yeah, kind of. what do you mean kind of? ready? welcome to the firewall. his favorite food. chimichangas! chimichangas? ow. access denied. huh. this might take a while. oh boy. krav maga! krav maga. major lazer! major lazer. what did i do now? ow. skate, or die! access denied. denied. denied. denied. i don’t get it! we’ve tried all of the important things in alex’s life! his favorite pet, his sport, his favorite grandma… i’m sorry, gene. i let us all down. now, if I had to come up with a password, I’d probably use the name of a girl I like. i’ve been all over the phone! he’s never mentioned a girl. yes he has! hi. when I was in the trash, I read a very interesting email, but, i’m just a dunce, in the corner, forbidden to speak… what email? sorry, what? what email? uh, took it out, at school, he was declaring his feelings of love for her, i guess instead of sending it he tossed it in the trash. high five, this is very important. what is her name? her name, yes! excellent question. it… was… tina. karen. marge. lint, lindsay. ack, allison. sarah, or, lupita. i want to say lupita, but that doesn’t feel right, now i’m saying it out loud. ugh.. gotta find that email, i think i can access the trash. i got it! addie! yes! yes, that’s it, addie! i knew i’d get there! dear addie, you and I, we are like diamonds in the sky. you’re a shooting star I see. a vision, ecstacy. shining bright like a diamond. he used a high-five, see? guess now we know why he trashed it. ooh, shade. guys, should we try this? addie! access granted. oh snap. this place, is, amazing. wow, i can’t believe it. woah. one little emoji could sure get lost in a place like this. i… i guess we should, make you, a meh before that bot comes back home. oh, oh, so we’re gonna do that now. we had a deal, right? yeah, okay. right. i, uh, guess i’ll start hacking. ha! we did it, gene! all our dreams are coming true! i’ll be alex’s favorite again, and you’ll be a real meh! ha ha, yeah! do the hand dance. do the hand dance. and pinky. pop it with the pinky. pop it with the pinky. yeah, but this all seems kinda super fast now, doesn’t it? i didn’t expect to be having these feelings right now. well, maybe you should go and express them while you still can. so, uh, i’ve been thinking, um, ever since we. jailbreak, you’re the coolest, most interesting emoji i’ve ever met. and, after all the adventures that we’ve had, i’m just not sure that i want all of that to go away. because, my feelings, right now, are, like, huge. i just think that they could be enough for me to want to stay the way that I am. if it means that i could stay here, with you, like, forever. forever and ever. and ever. maybe longer than that, even? like in the fairy tales. uh… wait, wuh, what is that? gene, if this is about you deciding not to be meh, then, i am all about that. i like you just the way you are, but i had a plan. right. i’m not just some princess, gene, waiting for my prince. i mean, uh, what you said was beautiful, but, gene… ha ha ha! you’re all… meh! the source code worked! turns out I didn’t need it. for the first time in life, meh is all I feel. oh! gene! i have an appointment. i’m a little early. no prob. i can take you right now. jailbreak! ah! don’t do that! that freaking huge bot has got gene back inside the phone! what? he left being more meh than the meh-est meh face i’ve seen! what did you say to him? it’s what I didn’t say. we gotta go get him. how are we going to get there in time before he gets deleted? ugh.. i can’t believe i’m doing this. you tell anyone you saw this and I’ll crack more than those knuckles. woah. birds do like princesses! it’s not a myth! it’s not a myth at all! what happened with becoming a favorite? because i’d rather have one real friend. let’s go get him. i can’t wait to see that emoji’s face! look at that expression! is that for realizing that you’ve put all of textopolis at risk? causing Alex to question our reliability? hmm? hey, now that’s going too far, even for me! if we could delete this malfunction, before he gets dissapointed, Alex will realize there’s nothing wrong with the phone. and any last words? meh. well, it’s too late for that. delete him! wait! you delete gene, you’ll have to delete me, too. what? i have the same malfunction gene has. dad? oh gosh, i don’t know what to do! yes i do! BOTS! sorry misses meh. wow. i did not see that one coming. smiler, I think you might be making too much stink out of all this. oh really? how about you’re next? i was wrong, gene. i should have believed in you all along. oh, what a touching daddy son reunion moment! it reminds me of the time I deleted you both! oh wait! that’s this time! delete the two malfunctions! How’s that for an entroof gasp oh, great. I can’t reach! oh no! what did you do to my beautiful monst Ow my tooth! hand, button! jailbreak? oh, gene… you really are a meh… what happened to looking out for number one? being number one doesn’t matter if there aren’t any other numbers. alex’s appointment! he’s deleting the phone! nononono no no no no! show me alex. are you sure you want to delete everything? do it! red alert! alex, no! game over. fellas, i’m afraid this is the last call. dude, addie’s here. you should go over. every time I try, i screwed up! i don’t even know how to tell her how I feel! if we help alex connect to addie, maybe he won’t delete us. i might be able to bypass the wipe and get a text through to him. but we’ll only have time to send one. maybe I should go! he has love in his eyes. send me! alex looks nervous, too! he’s more shy than nervous! stop! it’s gene. he’s all of those things! emo gees should only be one thing! oh, really? gasp the princess! linda? not now, mom! gene, you got this. that’s not me anymore. but I have to try. it’s starting! no! it’s ending! almost in? working on it! mom? dad? no.. i’m in! last time I was in this cube I screwed everything up. gene, why do you think I came back? it’s because of you. me. it’s all inside of you, gene. just try to bring it back. and do you. high five! i don’t want to wave goodbye! it’s now or never, gene! jailbreak, now! woah! she got this emoji! no way! hey, i got your text! that’s one super cool emoji! i know, right? a lot of feelings in one! i get it! i like that you’re one of those guys who actually expresses feelings! yeah, that’s me! so, do you think you cou yes, i’d love to go to the dance with you. we made it! oh, i could have lost you, peter pinky finger… oh, you wretchy ring finger, even you, tiberius thumb… change your mind? yeah, maybe it’s weird, but i’m going to hold onto it. gene, you did it! you saved us all! oh, mel… gee hee eene! gee hee hee heene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! gene! and us! and high five! and high five! and high five! and high five! hey, what happened, gene? slap me some skin! and a little orange for the pinky! hey high five! save a little hand for later! unless you know the hamburger! back on top of the hand pile! you’re not on the list! wait, what? what’s going on? ha! from now on, everyone is welcome! wait, what is all this? it’s for you, gene! everybody! the emoji bob! this is so jazzy… go eggplant! go eggplant! go eggplant! we are out of Alex’s pocket, emo gees! this is not a butt dial! to your cubes! are we up and running? roger that. good, because we got incoming! looks like it’s gonna be gene. hey gene, ready to try out your new cube? in 3, 2…

anonymous asked:

ok. I've been looking for the answer to this for a long time and I can't find it. Who actually watched the wedding night? I guess the chief and the gothi but were there any others?

WHO WATCHED THE VIKING WEDDING NIGHT?

IN OTHER WORDS, WHO WOULD OBSERVE HICCUP’S AND ASTRID’S CONSUMMATION?

Oh ho ho.  Isn’t this the million dollar question…And the answer may surprise people.

The truth is that no one watched.

I’m going to assume you’re asking this for the purpose of HTTYD, so I’m going to speak in terms of that.  And basically reconstruct the entire wedding process from start to finish.  If you only want to know about the wedding night, skip to the part in bold and then to the very end.

Keep reading

Fight

Or, Bill and Dipper meet once again, in a dimension far far away

———

His other self and Mabel were there when Bill awoke, despitehis and Stan’s best efforts.

A small part of him wasn’t surprised, because he knew Mabel and he knew Dipper like he knew himself (he really needed to stop that but he couldn’t help himself.) He knew that despite his repeated claims that he could take care of himself just fine, and they would probably die if they stayed, that Dipper and Mabel were going to find some way to stay by his side.

That was only a small part of Alcor. The rest of him was torn between fury that they had put themselves in danger and sick with fear that they were going to get hurt.

He pinched his nose and counted to ten, which had always worked when he had been raising- er, watching Toby, and tried to not notice that the gateway was going to open at any second.

Before either of them could react, Alcor had grabbed the pair of them by their collars, and blipped them up to their room in the attic, dumping them on Mabel’s bed. They opened their mouths to protest but were silenced by a look from Alcor.

“You two are staying up here,” he said as sternly as possible, drawing upon centuries of nibling wrangling experience.

“But you need us!” Dipper cried out, clutching that damn journal.

Alcor raised an eyebrow, even as his internal voice cried that he didn’t have time for this Bill was stirring, and crossed his arms.

“The only thing you can do down there is die,” he said bluntly, ignoring the crestfallen faces on Dipper and Mabel. “And I don’t need you two getting in the way and getting hurt.”

“But-“

It hurt Alcor to shut Mabel down but he needed to get down to the basement now.

“S̝̞̲̬͍̫͓t͏a̦̘̣͇͕y̳̰  ͇̞̤̦̖̮̪͡H̠̞̞̙̘͕e̟̤̹͍̖͉r̷̟̗̹ḛ̷.̩̞̯̥̪͇” Alcor gritted out, and quickly blipped himself on the other side of the door.

He touched the frame and it alit with blue fire. There was absolutely no way they were getting out of this room.

Belatedly, he realized that he probably should have taken them to where Stan and Soos and Wendy were outside of town but there was no time because on the edges of his conscious he could hear the beginnings of a grating, awful, hateful laugh.

A laugh he knew far too well, even after all these years.

Keep reading

Pair of Freaks (Ben Mason X Reader)

Fandom: Falling Skies
Pairing: Ben Mason X Reader
Word Count: 823
Warning: Some language!!

“Freak.” The boy whispered as he passed you, purposely bumping into you as he walked by.

“Razorback.” The man, Pope, you thought his name was, contributed from one corner of the dining tent as you tried to find somewhere to sit.

“Alien.”

“Monster.”

“Mutant.”

“We don’t want you here.” The voices all sneered, and they felt like knives and razors piercing into your flesh.

Did they think that you wanted this to happen? That you willingly let those bastards harness you? You kicked, you screamed, you punched, you bit; none of it did any good. They still harnessed you, and even now that you were free from them, you still had the spikes on your back to prove that you weren’t just a normal person anymore.

“That’s enough.” A deep voice said suddenly, and the dining tent fell quiet. You had previously been looking at the ground, trying to ignore the many hate filled gazes directed at you, but you looked up now, surprised to see a boy about your age approaching you.

He had short dark blonde hair, cut close to his head, and piercing hazel eyes. They were both blue and green at the same time, and good lord, they were gorgeous. Correction, he was gorgeous.

He wore a tight black t-shirt, showing off his arms and muscles nicely, and dark grey cargo pants. There was a gun strapped to his back and black, fingerless leather gloves on his hands.  

“Are you okay?” He asked softly as he turned to you, and you just nodded dumbly in response. Why was this ridiculously hot person talking to you?

The boy seemed to sense your hesitation, offering you a quick smile.

“My name’s Ben. I’m not like them.” As he said this, he turned around, letting you see the bulges in his shirt from where his spikes poked up.

He was harnessed too?

He turned back around and you looked up at him, __e/c__ eyes locking with his hazel eyes.

“Come on,” Ben said gently, offering you his hand. “You can sit with me and my family.” You didn’t know why, maybe it was because he was harnessed too, or because he was actually nice to you, but you felt like you could trust him, so you smiled weakly, taking his hand in your own.

——————————

“Oh look, coat rack and his little girlfriend.” Pope mocked as you and Ben entered the dining tent for dinner several months later.

You sighed as you walked next to Ben but said nothing, successfully ignoring Pope being his usual douchey self.

“Oh ho ho,” Pope laughed, looking between you and Ben, eyes filling with malice. “What happened, Mason? Did the female version of you reject you? Did you even tell her how you felt?”

“And how do you know how I feel, Pope?” Ben asked, voice razor sharp.

“I can just sense it, razorback. You want to have little mutant babies with her; isn’t that why you became friends with her in the first place?”

“Ben, calm down.” You said quietly, practically feeling how his hackles were raising dangerously.

“Better listen to the alien bitch, Mason.”

You had to drag Ben away then, knowing he could kill Pope if he wanted to (which he did).

“He’s just pushing your buttons, don’t let him get to you.” You said soothingly, leaning in and kissing him softly.

“I don’t like the way he talks about you.” Ben mumbled when you pulled away, resting his chin on your head.

“I know, but it doesn’t bother me anymore. I have you now.”

Ben smiled at that, wrapping his arms around your waist and leaning down to kiss you. His lips were soft and warm and comforting and just so him and you loved it.

“Now come on,” You said when you broke apart, tugging on his arm and dragging him to the small tent you two shared. “I want to rest for a bit, I haven’t slept in a week.”
 
Ben let himself be dragged along, smiling at your enthusiasm.

——————————–

Twenty minutes later you and Ben were dressed for bed and squeezed into a tiny sleeping bag, his arms around your waist and yours curled around his neck.

You started to fall asleep almost immediately, even with the harness, a week with absolutely no sleep took its toll on a person.

“Night, Ben.” You mumbled sleepily, nuzzling your head deeper into his shirt.

“Night __y/n__.” He whispered back, his own eyelids feeling heavy as the sound of your steady breathing filled the small space.

Ben drifted to sleep shortly after you, and his last thought was of how grateful he was to have found you.

His heart had been quickly filling with hatred for the skitters, for Pope, for the world, for everything, but you had stopped it.

Now his heart was filled with warmth and love, and for once since the aliens invaded, Ben was happy.

End.  <3

national lampoon’s christmas vacation starters.

feel free to either remove the blanks or fill it in with a name.

  • “ we’re kicking off our fun, old-fashioned christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape.”
  • “ we’re not driving all the way out here so you can get one of those stupid ties with the santa clauses on it, are we?”
  • “ what we’re looking for today is the ___ family christmas tree.”
  • “ hey, look! a deer.”
  • “ ___, stop it! i don’t want to spend the holidays dead.”
  • “ we’re all right! thank god, we’re all right!”
  • “ ___, we’re stuck under a truck!”
  • “ for chrissake, i didn’t do this on purpose!”
  • “ didn’t they invent christmas tree lots so people wouldn’t have to drive all the way out to nowhere and waste a whole saturday?”
  • “ they invented them because people forgot how to have a fun, old-fashioned christmas and are satisfied with dead, scrawny, overpriced trees that have no special meaning.”
  • “ this is what our forefathers did. they walked out into the woods, they picked out that special tree and they cut it down with their bare hands.”
  • “ my toes are numb. i can’t feel my legs. i can’t feel my hips!”
  • “ that’s all part of the experience, honey.”
  • “ it’s not big, it’s just full.”
  • “ that thing wouldn’t fit in our yard.”
  • “ it’s not going in our yard, it’s going in our living room.”
  • “ most enduring traditions of the season are best enjoyed in the warm embrace of kith and kin.”
  • “ where do you think you’re gonna put a tree that big?”
  • “ do you think there’s enough room for the angel?”
  • “ it looks great. a little full. a lot of sap.”
  • “ they’ve decided they’re coming for christmas too.”
  • “ christmas is about resolving differences.”
  • “ all my life, i’ve wanted to have a big family christmas.”
  • “ when have i ever done that?”
  • “ you’re the last true family man.”
  • “ merry christmas. kiss my ass. kiss his ass. kiss your ass.”
  • “ ‘tis the season to be merry.”
  • “ that’s a christmas present from a very dear friend of mine.”
  • “ this is what christmas is all about.”
  • “ we’re gonna have the best-looking house in town.”
  • “ i’m sure it’s a lot of work too, but if i’m out in the cold, and i’m committed to decorating the house, i’m gonna do it right, and i’m gonna do it big.”
  • “ when was the last time i overdid anything?”
  • “ well, i don’t know what to say except it’s christmas and… we’re all in misery.”
  • “ hey, where do you want these reindeer?”
  • “ i can’t find the santa claus!”
  • “ in the meantime, i can light the santa and the eight, tiny reindeer and the merry christmas sign.”
  • “ come out, quick! look at the lights!”
  • “ you deserve a home like this to spend christmas in.”
  • “ i hope this adds to your enjoyment of the holidays.”
  • “ i hope it enhances your holiday spirit.”
  • “ help me get some hot chocolate. it’s cold.”
  • “ that’s a honey of a tree. is it real?”
  • “ can i refill your eggnog for you? get you something to eat?”
  • “ well, have a really merry christmas.”
  • “ are you santa claus?”
  • “ no, i’m not santa claus. wish i was.”
  • “ if you’ve been good all year round, santa claus is gonna bring you something.”
  • “ sometimes i think all that santa crap is just bull.”
  • “ well i happen to know for a fact that santa claus is real.”
  • “ are you sure you ain’t santy claus?”
  • “ oh, you didn’t have to buy me anything.”
  • “ if this turkey tastes half as good as it looks, i think we’re in for a very big treat.”
  • “ if you keep it up, it will be your last christmas.”
  • “ look what you’ve done to my tree!”
  • “ it was an ugly tree anyway.”
  • “ hallelujah! holy shit, where’s the tylenol?”
  • “ we needed a coffin - uh, i mean tree.”
  • “ this is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here.”
  • “ we’re gonna press on and we’re gonna have the hap-hap-happiest christmas since bing crosby tap-danced with danny kaye!”
  • “ when santa squeezes his fat ass down that chimney tonight, he’s gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nut house.”
  • “ our holidays were always such a mess.”
  • “ ho, ho, ho! merry christmas, ___!”
Freefall (1)

Part: (Prologue)

.

England’s nose wrinkled as the soft, floral musk of an alpha invaded his senses and only belatedly did he realize who it must be—

—but it was too late.

Oh, ho, ho, so the rumors are true.” Came a particularly grating French accent.

It was far too bloody early in the morning for France, England quickly determined, offering the other nation a thorough scowl—one of his best ones too. The type that held just enough disdain to get his point across.

Yet it lacked a certain something, he could tell, because the alpha was completely undaunted by it, sidling even closer with a wolfish grin. Normally, when France pestered him, it was just for the sake of doing that alone. The other nation had enjoyed testing the limits of his aggressiveness as a beta. They’d known each other so long that it had become a game of sorts, really.

One that, some days, England had rather enjoyed, in a way.

But right now was not one of those days and the omega had the sinking suspicion that this was no longer a little game.

And now he found himself caught between the catering table and an arse of a man and he sorely regretted having arrived early for this meeting, even if he was the one hosting it.

Keep reading