fedya dolokhov for president
reasons to vote Fedya Dolokhov for president:
- fierce, will not let you down
- strong man
- very handsome, so you know he can charm people
- respected: “Yet, though Anatole spent tens of thousands of rubles, Dólokhov lived with him and had placed himself on such a footing that all who knew them, including Anatole himself, respected him more than they did Anatole.”
- clearheaded even when drunk, so when he’s not drunk, you know he must be SUPER clearheaded
- he once balanced himself on a windowsill and drank an entire bottle of rum, and if that isn’t impressive, then i don’t know what is
- sure, yeah, he’s killed some people, but that’s only helping his resumé! shows that he’s driven and devoted.
- really good at making people gamble all their money and winning*
- *he may have cheated a little but i think that shows good ambition.
- got a cool nickname; people call him “Dolokhov the Assassin”, and only cool, fun-loving people get nicknames!
- DID try to talk anatole out of the elopement. he was trying.