i did this like in 15 mins and its actually pretty


As a passionate music lover, I completely love this random idea I had and I’m so happy with how it turned out so let me know what you think. Also I relate to this so much because I also play the guitar and holy shit how I love it xx

AN : The song mentioned in this story is Waves by Dean Lewis (it’s a song from Riverdale and I’m obsessed).

Y/N fought back a yawn as she entered the apartment she shared with her longtime boyfriend. She threw her bag onto the couch as she noticed that her lover wasn’t home yet. She kicked her shoes off , swaying her way to the fridge to grab a bottle of water, tiptoe-ing to the rhythm of the music blasting through her earphones. There was nothing better than going home after a long day of work , knowing that the week was finally over. Sipping on the plastic bottle with her right hand, she typed a text to her boyfriend with the other. ’When are you and Byron coming home? Xx

As she was about to put the phone back in her pocket, a sound was signaling that he was already typing back his answer. ‘In about 15 mins. Impatient, aren’t you? Xx’ She smiled at his reply and typed a quick response before taking her earphones off and making her way to Joe’s office, cleaning off the mess and him and their temporary roommate had made earlier whilst filming a video.

Around a few minutes later, the office was tidy and only left with the music material that Joe and Byron were into lately. She thought for a moment, her eyes darting over the acoustic guitar settled nicely on the guitar stand. The instrument belonged to the South African but she knew he didn’t mind her using it since she already had a few times. She grabbed hold of what was magic to her and sat on Joe’s office chair, fiddling with a few chords to make sure everything sounded right. And as she started playing, letting her fingers play with the chords as easily as breathing was, a smile appeared on her face.

She had started playing when she was only six years old, which was surprising since music did not run in her family. But it was her talent, Y/N could play all types of guitars and it meant the whole world to her. And adding to that, she could sing pretty well and wanted to make a living out of it more than anything, not for the money or any of that shit, but for her own self. Because music was the way to her heart. But she just hadn’t gotten around to it, which was a shame.

As she played the chords to a song she loved, she added her smooth voice to the beautiful melody that was playing. “There is a swelling storm and I’m caught up in the middle of it all.” She sang, her voice low and sweet, as if the neighbors were going to hear her. And she rapidly got lost into the song, her eyes closed as her voice raised in volume slightly. Y/N was now singing as if the whole Wembley Arena was cheering for her, gaining a confidence that she had never known before. And being completely lost in her world, she didn’t hear the door opening and the footsteps coming closer.

Joe exchanged a smile with his mate as soon as he stepped into the flat, not being used to hear her voice so clearly. The only time Joe heard it was in the shower or when she thought he wasn’t home, just like this exact moment. Joe leaned onto the door frame, Byron right behind him as they both listened to her voice until she was finished. “Look at you showing off!” Joe teased, stepping into his office as Y/N’s eyes went wide at his sight. “Oh sorry, I didn’t hear you coming in.” She affirmed, breathless for words to say as she really wasn’t used to being heard, even by the people she shared an apartment with. Joe smiled at her as he pressed a soft kiss on her lips.

“That was amazing, Y/N.” Byron stated, the two connecting their hands in a high-five as she smiled back at her friend. “Thanks. I’m sorry I used your guitar without asking.” She said, getting up to put the instrument back in its place. “It’s okay, I told you you could borrow it anytime.” The South African replied with a grin. “Maybe you could help Joe out a bit, he’s really struggling.” Byron teased, looking at his mate  who rolled his eyes at his comment. “I mean I guess I could actually use some help.” Joe admitted, grabbing hold of his electronic guitar hanging on the wall as he sat down where his girlfriend was only seconds ago. “Well, good luck with that!” Byron called out as he left the room, heading to his room.

Y/N crossed her arms as she watched her lover fiddling with the chords carefully. Her eyes darted over his face and the way his eyebrows came together in a frown as he was concentrating. The blue-eyes boy had been dying to get back into using his old guitar that he hadn’t been able to in while since he was so busy with YouTube. Joe started playing the melody he had been learning recently and she smiled proudly as she realized how much he had improved. But there was one particular part of the melody that he messed up and he let out a groan in frustration. “Damn it, that bloody chord!” Joe exclaimed, letting out a sigh. Y/N couldn’t help but let out a laugh at his impatience. “I can never get it right.” He affirmed, looking up to his girlfriend in despair.

She moved around to stand behind him, looking over his shoulder to the position of his hands. “You need to tighten your grip on the chords a bit more.” Y/N explained as  she reached around his hand with hers, settling his fingers tightly. Joe smiled as he attempted to play the chord one more time, it sounded better than the first time but still wasn’t perfect. Her hand was now on his back as their eyes met. “You’d be a very good teacher. A very hot one.” Joe teased, a smirk appearing on his lips as he looked straight into her orbs. “How much for private lessons?” He asked, pressuring his arms on the guitar. “ Because it’s you, I might do it for free.” She replied, smirking back at him. Despite how long the two had been together, there were always moment when it felt like their romance was brand new. Joe closed the distance between by pressing his lips on hers in a loving kiss. But it quickly escalated as Joe asking her for a deeper entrance in her mouth but she pulled away.

“Impatient, aren’t you?” She whispered, referring to the words that he had used by text earlier. “Too bad you need to practice a bit more.” She teased, walking out of the room before Joe could do or say anything. And he smiled to himself as he went back to his guitar, keeping in mind the advice from his girlfriend.

Y/N climbed up the stairs, meeting Byron halfway. “How is he doing?” Her roommate asked, a teasing smile on his face. “We’re not quite there yet but let him believe it for a second.” She stated, earning a laugh from the South African.

Their laughter was stopped by another loud groan from Joe and the friends laughed again, loving the idea of teasing him until he would eventually get it right.

anonymous asked:

i need Nursery reacting to Dex getting a daring piercing, like septum or eyebrow

  • the thing is, no one rly finds out about it for months
  • dex gets it done over the summer bc you can’t take it out for like six weeks and i don’t know much about hockey but i’m like 99% sure it would be a bad idea to play ice hockey, a sport in which you fight people and occasionally get punched in the nose, with a septum piercing in
  • so he has it in and he snapchats chowder and lardo and nursey right after it happens and they all lose their shit and are in love with it 
  • except nursey is a stupid idiot and forgets things a lot? and he also didn’t really take it that seriously because, well. it’s fucking dex. there is no way that man would get a septum piercing and keep it. nursey is pretty sure the whole thing was a prank and that the piercing was fake, and he forgets about it after like 2 weeks 
  • dex has one of the horseshoe ones where you can flip it up so that you can’t see it and he wears it like that 90% of the time because work and because small mostly conservative fishing town
  • so when he snapchats/facetimes nursey, it’s hidden, hence why nursey forgot about it 
  • and then he’s back at samwell and he’s had it for more than the required 6-8 week healing period and he hardly ever wears it because 1. hockey 2. he’s lazy and 3. he’s a little bit self conscious of it
  • he also doesn’t wear it to the haus super often because he lowkey fears for its safety there 
  • anyways he’s hanging out with chowder and lardo in one of their rooms in the haus and he has his piercing in and nursey comes in and flops across the bed and rants about his day etc etc and it takes him like 15 min for him to Notice 
  • he loses the ability to speak for like. 5 min straight
  • lardo, of course, notices this and takes pictures 
  • nursey needs to leave right now immediately 
    • dex: hey nurse you good
    • nursey:
    • lardo: [kicks him]
    • nursey: what yeah 
    • dex:…..ok
    • nursey, five min later interrupting the conversation: so like that piercing u got over the summer was real??
    • dex: …ya? why would i fake that
    • nursey: idk for fun and because ur an asshole
    • dex:……anyways 
  • nursey and dex walked back to their dorms together and dex said do you think it’s weird or something? cause i don’t wear it a lot because of hockey but i’m not sure how it looks with my hair and facial features yknow
  • a quote from derek malik nurse that sounded chill when he said it but was actually Not Chill At All: “no keep it it’s hot” 
  • a text thread from that same afternoon:
    • lardo: lmao smooth bro
    • nursey: stfu
    • nursey: holy fuck tho
    • nursey: i feel personally attacked 
    • lardo: gay
    • nursey: i kno
  • next time they have a kegster dex wears it with joggers and a backwards hat 
  • rip in pieces derek m nurse 
    • nursey: i’ve never felt this gay in my life
    • lardo: that’s a lie but i’m happy for u
    • nursey: what do i do
    • lardo: take another shot 
    • lardo: or three 
    • lardo: and then see where the night takes u i guess 
  • nursey and dex beat chowder and farmer at pong and nursey’s reaction to this victory is to scream at dex “you’re so fucking hot” and then kiss him on the mouth and then wander off into the crowd saying something about victory shots 
  • dex stands there in shock for a min while chowder laughs his ass off then sighs and goes to find some water bottles because he’s just been reminded why nursey patrol is a thing 
  • they hold hands on the walk home 
  • the groupchat w nursey, dex, chowder, farmer, & lardo the next morning:
    • ld: so did u guys fuck
    • cf: ^^
    • cc: ^^^^
    • wp: no fuck off 
    • dn: ;))
  • anyways i was gonna write a fic for this but that would take a lot more time and effort so i hope u enjoy this anyways 
  • also fun fact dex has his ears pierced!! but not for fashion or for fun his friend malorie did it for him in high school with rubbing alcohol and a needle on a dare. he almost never wears earrings just bc he’s lazy and bc hockey but he wears them enough so that the holes won’t close bc he didn’t go through all that pain and yelling for nothing

Pagan Min’s Calls: A Comprehensive List (In Progress)

I love getting those calls from Pagan Min while playing Far Cry 4, but I haven’t been able to find any kind of comprehensive list or videos. So I’ve decided to make one. I made up the titles pretty much. Anything title in italics needs the full transcript. I’ve linked clips I’ve found where possible because obviously you need to hear him say these things. Please send any transcripts and/or clips you have found!

It would also be really interesting to learn if there’s any specific order they typically come up in. I personally have heard each one up through “Yuma’s First Impressions”, in this order.

Last Updated: 15 Feb 2015, 6:00pm EST

“Again with the Crab Rangoon”

…I had him killed. Or was it his family? Either way, the spread will be better next time…That’s the last time I’m kidnapping a fucking TV celebrity chef…

“That’s It. That’s the Call.”

“Ajay? Ajay? Aaaaaaaaajaaaaay?”

“Uh? Yes?”

“Awesome! Oh, just making sure you’ve been listening.”

Our Little Family

I wish you could remember what it was like back then, Ajay. Your mother and I, with you on her hip, oh those were the days. She was never happier than she was back then, and I should say the same for myself. We had such plans, not just for our little family, but for Kyrat. It wasn’t always like this, I long for those days but then it’s too late. I tried, I really really did, this place is ruinous. Try not to let them drag you down, Ajay. Ishwari didn’t send you back here for that.


I’ve been thinking about my image, on the world stage, and I think what I lack is a celebrity endorsement, you know, a visit from Dennis Rodman type. Perhaps I could get Beckham to bring the Galaxy over for a game against my best 11? A bit cliché now I suppose. A pop star? If the dictator of Turkmenistan can get J-Lo to sing him “Happy Birthday” then who’s to say I can’t get my fading star of yesteryear? I wonder how much Kanye is going for. Do you follow him on Twitter? It is gold. I would love to shoot the breeze with that young man.

“No Homo” (7:57-8:32)

Uncle Pagan here, just checking in on my favorite nephew. So tell me, Ajay, who are you rooting for so far? Have you fallen into Amita’s honey pot, or have you been dazzled by Sabal’s flowing locks and bad-boy jawline? Hey, each to his own, that’s your lifestyle choice to make. He isn’t my cup of tea, contrary to the rash assumption some may make about my appearance. I am indeed batting for the other team. You, more than most, should know that there was only ever one woman for me, my boy.

“Always Money in the Banana Stand Temples” (8:32-9:31)

Oh, I’d love to give you a tour of my vaults one day. Right now, I’m looking at all the wealth of Kyrat. Gold medallions, ivory statues, jade carvings, such delightful trinkets! The Golden Path says I stole its wealth, but I did no such thing! They robbed themselves for centuries instead of putting it to good use! I, on the other hand, have been selling off whatever I can to the West, and whatever I can’t, I melt it down and make something a little more…contemporary. There’s a lesson for you, Ajay. People are hypocrites, and they all want someone to blame for their shit-filled lives, they never want to accept their share of the responsibility. The next time they’re whining about building schools or clinics, remember they’ve been hiding away their fortune in dusty old monasteries for centuries!

“Fucking Candles”

Ajay, you’ve been out and about exploring Kyrat for a while now. Tell me who lights all of those fucking candles? The country is in the grips of a civil war, an apparently monstrous dictator has the country on it’s knees, and yet some industrious fool has put it upon himself to wake up every morning and go around lighting hundreds, and hundreds of candles. Oh I’m tempted to employ someone to blow them all out again. Actually I have a better idea—Gary. GARY! Put it down this is important. Listen, candles are now illegal. What? Yes all of them! Treason punishable by death, thank you—and thank you Ajay, you just made my week.

“Zippered Meat Pockets”

Ajay, I hope you don’t mind, but I took the liberty of having a new suit made up for you. If you are to lead Kyrat when this is all over, you’re going to need a sharper look than denims and fucking sneakers, my boy. And that jacket. Oh, don’t get me started. Why on Earth do you need so many zippered pockets? What do you keep in them all? Handfuls of meat? Huh, I suppose you do. I’ll make a note for my tailor: “Ajay’s jacket, zippered meat pockets.” Perfect. Well, don’t let me slow you down.


Did I ever tell you about Noore? This is one of my favorites. She used to be a doctor, quite a benevolent soul. She came to Kyrat on some aid mission in the early days of my reign. She had the audacity to write a report on the human right abuses perpetrated by my regime! So I reached out to her, invited her to come back, to see the improvements, how we’d acted on her recommendations. I extended the invite to her family. So she came, husband and kids. I put them up in the palace, I even put on a little meeting for her, made a PowerPoint, “A 12-Step Action Plan” to address Kyrat’s human rights violations *chuckles* Except each slide was about how I was going to ruin Noore’s life. *laughs* So Paul “De Pleur” kept her family hostage while I forced the great humanitarian, Dr. Najjar, to run the most terrible parts of my Kyrati empire. Oh, between you and I, I think she actually enjoys it now.

“Lancing Boils” (9:32-10:14)

A word to the wise, Ajay. The next time you need something lanced, employ the services of a professional, as scarce as those services may be around here. Did you know because of your mother I sponsored an entire class of students to study medicine in Singapore? And they never came back! Can you believe the depth of that ingratitude? Paul dealt with their families here in Kyrat, and I had my contacts in Singapore track them down and find a fitting end for each of them, yes. Oh, as satisfying as that was, I now find myself lancing my own boils. Gary! Bring me some gauze and some fucking antiseptic ointment!

Yuma’s First Impressions

I’ve spent a lot of my life apologizing for Yuma’s first impressions. She has a remarkable ability to make consistently terrible introductions. I’d love for you two to meet on better terms, she really has been the driving force behind most of my successes. She forges deals with my international buyers, she polices Noore and De Pleur, she even finds time to run my army. Well, that is until her recent obsession with Kyrati superstition took a hold of her. She thinks I don’t know about the expeditions she’s been sending up the mountains looking for magical paintings or whatever it is. I’m as open as the next fellow about negligible losses for the sake of employee morale, but only so many pens can go missing from the stationary cupboard before someone has to lose a hand!

“Piano Recital”

I was in America not so long ago. I looked up Ishwari, but I couldn’t bring myself to see her, not after all these years. You always regret those decisions when they die, don’t you? Anyway, I was there with De Pleur, or rather “Paul Harmon”. He invited me to his home to meet his family, to see the other side of him. It was incredible to see the man behind the man. Paul, the loving father and husband. I was as jealous as I was happy for him. We went to his daughter’s school to see a recital. There was his darling Ashley, the light of his life. I could see the tears welling up in his eyes, so proud, so much love. It really made me think, what if I had followed Ishwari? What if that were you clumsily stumbling through a piano recital as I looked on teary-eyed through a viewfinder, capturing every precious moment. It always hits you when it’s too late, Ajay, always when they’ve gone.

“Cocaine and Yak’s Blood”

After Ishwari left it was a very dark time for me. Oh I was a cruel and angry young man. It’s this time more than any that gives me the reputation I have today. Yes, yes, I murdered countless innocents, yes I outlawed religion, yes I changed the currency so everyone’s savings were meaningless. And yes, I may have gone through a period of bathing in yaks’ blood and slamming rails of coke. But…I’m reformed now, look at me, getting this country back on it’s feet again. Top shape, Ajay. *snorts a rail of coke* Top shape.

“Pàng Xióng”

Ajay, did I ever tell you about my first body double? Not the one you wiped off the map, he’s number three or four now perhaps. Anyway, the first one, Jeong was his name, started brilliantly. He looked the part, diligent in his duty, but back then I didn’t realize what becoming me could do to a man. He went completely berserk! And it wasn’t the random beheadings or the blood-drinking that did him in in the end, no! It was a particularly embarrassing incident where in full costume, he was caught trying to sneak into Disneyland! Using a forged Dominican Republic passport–this is the best part–under a Chinese name that meant “Fat Bear”. Fucking imbecile!

Story-Relevant (spoilers!)

“Poor Eric” (15:06-15:53)

“Hello Ajay, did you miss me? Oh wait, yes, you did!”

“Pagan? I just killed you!”

“No, no, you just ruined a perfectly good body double with hair loss. Do you know how expensive he was to make? He wasn’t even Asian, for Christ’s sake, he was from Melbourne, I think. His only crime was being born with fabulous cheekbones. Whose picture do you think’s on the money? No matter, what’s done is done, I suppose next time it’ll just be you and me.

"Choices” (18:35-19:46)

“Oh Ajay, I can almost see your furrowed brow from here.”

“Pagan, what do you want.”

*tutting* "Tone! I’m merely calling to check up on you! I hear your little friends are having a bit of a spat. It must be hard, what with you in the middle of it all. Choices are difficult. Trust me, I’ve been there. In fact, you should be grateful for the choices I’ve made. Choices like Yuma. I went on live television to serve her up to you, and I loathe television. Radio is so much more my thing. And you, you jumped on the opportunity. Poor Yuma, she will be missed. It was a tough call to make, picking you over her. But it was the right call. You’ll see. Of course, you’re in a hurry. Places to go, shit to tear up. I’ll let you get back to it. But don’t forget, Ajay, choices have consequences.“

"Something More Contemporary” (20:07-20:37)

Really, Ajay? What do you have against my likeness? All those posters, Eric my double, and now this. Am I missing a hint? Should I start taking this personally? That statue was solid fucking gold. Literally! I’m not being metaphorical. Do you know how many artifacts I had to melt down to get it made? And poor Eric standing there for God knows how long just to pose for it! Well, what’s done is done. And dinner’s nearly ready.

Farewell Address

If you’re listening to this, I am no longer with you. At the time of this recording, Ajay Ghale has just ditched me at a dinner party, and I am admittedly a little ???. I have a plan for what should happen next, but the future is a fickle mistress. Regardless, I hope I leave Kyrat in better hands than my own. And to the Golden Path, oh ho! Fuck you. I’ve always hated the lot of you. Sincerely, Pagan Min.

Escape from Durgesh DLC

“That’s My Boy”

Well I had something important to say, but I suppose you just want to get out there and start shooting things. *chuckle* That’s my boy.


You know what I hate? Typos. You pay good money for propaganda posters, you expect them to be properly proofread! Ajay, be a good little errand boy and destroy the less than perfect propaganda in that center. While you’re at it, teach the people there a lesson. We’ll see if they’ll ever spell Pagan with an ‘e’ again! I’ll bet this is Yuma’s doing. She knows just how to piss me off.


I feel so much better knowing those terrible posters will never see the light of day. I’m giving you elephants. That’s right, elephants! I call the big one Hurley. He’s clumsy, but oh-so-adorable.

“Boom Boom”

Well, Daddy’s tower didn’t go boom-boom, so that means you must have succeeded. Excellent work, Ajay. You are, er, let’s see here, “capable and valued”, yes, those were the words for the day. I’m a believer in positive reinforcement in case you haven’t figured that out. Your reward! It will be made available to you when you head to your little landing zone. Thank you so much!

“Positive Reinforcement”

I still believe in you, and I still value you, Ajay. I’m a believer in positive reinforcement. I’m in control of my temper, even if you did just fuck up royally!



This is the first fanfic I have ever written from start to finish. I just had this idea pop into my head, and I though it was fluffy and cute so I made it happen.

EDIT: now available on ao3!

Title: Countdown

Fandom: Batman Rogues

Relationship: Jonathan Crane/Edward Nygma, aka Scriddler - established relationship

Genre: Fluff, comfort

Rating: SFW

Word count: 1342

Summary: Edward has been working on his latest scheme for too many consecutive days without a break and Jonathan thinks enough is enough.

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theotherstarkbastard i know you asked for anders playing with ser pounce and I’ll most likely actually do that later, in the mean time have (some sort of modern au because tshirts are easy to draw) Anders n Pounce sleepy cuddletimes

I swear I am going to end up in Radley after this show is finished

I’m not sure if I’m slightly upset we didn’t get to see the dialogue between Aria and Nicole, only because its been so dragged out with Ezra being gone for the most of 7B. Why has Ezra been missing this whole time? I mean it’s so confusing since Nicole is NOT in NY but close enough for Aria to have driven to the clinic, yet he doesn’t even come home to change his clothes and have some rest? Shady Ezra, shady. 

So do all members of the A team have keys to all the liars’ houses just like Mona? The idea of people creeping in and out of a house is so frustrating. You’ve been doing this for how many years? Since you were 16? Why are there no cameras anywhere near your damn houses? SERIOUSLY?! 

Aria is being shady. Honestly no wonder Ezria is a couple, they are both shady. I think I have been completely desensitized to their “shock faces”, all I keep thinking is “I know you’re part of this”. 

Okay so this episode was awesome and the fact that some answers are smacking me straight in the face is amazing. However I have a couple questions because I am genuinely confused after watching it. So now, I am re watching this. Because it’s not like I have 2 essays due *cough cough* - moving on. 

Here we go:

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Starry Nights Part 2/4

Pairing: Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Angst, Fluff, Soulmate Au

Warning: Language, Suggestive Mentions

Soulmate Au: At first eye contact with the soulmate, will be able to draw soulmate, and have 15 days to fall in love or will never be able to meet again.

!Do not repost!

Status: Finished  1 2 3 4  

You were dreading to go to sleep, but Yoongi did not really do anything, simply glaring at you all the damned time. It was quite late at night, well, more like very early in the morning. It was 1am, and Yoongi was simply working on his songs.

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

we're in year 5067(idk ok??), and y/n finds herself falling further and further into depression. Tired of being alone, she orders one of the robots from the tv-catalog-show-thing?? little did she know that her robot was gonna br hella cute. robot!au with jung sewoon?? not love, but like bff??brother??friends??plz make it funny ! Thank youuuu💕💕💕💕

thanks for requesting !! sorry if im a bit rusty fndfndjkg also i tried to be funny,,,forgive me if it isn’t LOL

also i didn’t read through this, so ignore any mistakes please!

- in the year of 5067, you slowly find yourself getting lonelier and lonelier 

- it doesn’t help that technology has become so advanced that nearly everyone was addicted to it 

- and you couldn’t lie, you liked to browse the internet, but you weren’t the type to become addicted and slowly live your whole life online 

- that was mostly everyone’s fate - including your parents - hell, even school was a bore because people were on their phones or laptops half the time 

- even if you had friends, there was no doubt that most of them would prefer to listen to their tv and stay home, rather than leaving their homes smh 

- you had tried your best to convince them to come out, saying that there was new cafes open or a new restaurant. you even tried to tempt them with food 

- but your efforts didn’t convince them and you were left alone again 

- one night, you ended up watching tv late and clicking through the channels and you saw an ad displaying cheesy text on a robot 

- ‘’order your own best friend robot! program them to your liking for only $19.99!” 

- usually, you would skip through it and settle going to bed but?? this low-key peaked your interest. 

- a robot as a best friend?? was that possible? what if you ordered one and they turned out like that that movie from resident evil?? 

- but on the other hand, you were like 

- ‘’lol what could go wrong’’ 

- so you did 

- you ended up ordering straight from the tv and they told you that it would come in the few weeks since they were in high demand 

- you ended up forgetting that you ordered it a few days later until it showed up on your doorstep in a huge box 

- obviously, you had trouble bringing it in and struggled quite a lot,,,but you managed to do it

- but once you opened the box,,,it was like seeing god for the first time?? like wtf?? has god really come down to bless you??

- the robot was quite cute actually,,and looked scarily human-like. if you didn’t know what it was, you would’ve mistaken it for a human being packed into a box accidentally 

- carefully, you managed to pull it out of the box and drag it to a nearby outlet to plug it in. while it was charging, you were reading through the manual and it was pretty self explanatory, all you had to do was charge it often and make sure it wasn’t left alone for too long 

- flipping the manual to the back, you read the name on the sheet and thought it was quite fitting 

- ‘’jeong sewoon, huh?’’ 

- you thought it was a fitting name and decided to go take a nap and see if he would be fully charged once you woke up 

- and once you woke up, you locked eyes with someone else's 

- aka cue you screaming and sewoon standing there like ?? 

- you had completely forgot that you had bought him after you woke up lol yikes you got a surprise of your lifetime 

- from then on, your life wasn’t the same 

- getting used to sewoon was hard but also,,kind of exciting?? 

- of course, he knew what he was but he wasn’t sure what everything was 

- he asked lots of questions once you sat him down to the point where you had a headache and almost regret buying him lmfao 

- you had to explain everything to him and tried your best to keep everything simple but,,,there was only so much that you could do 

- once, you handed him your laptop to let him look at it and maybe get familiar idk and you went to go get water

- you came back and ended up screaming because poor sewoon ended up snapping the screen in half 

- cue him looking like a lost puppy and alarmed because you were on the floor crying 

- ‘’did you know how much that cost me?? dO YOU THINK I HAVE MONEY TO BUY A NEW LAPTOP’’ 

- ‘’you had enough money to buy me, didn’t you?” 

- ‘’lISTEN’’ 

- and another time (after buying you a new laptop), he came to you and asked what this meant and he showed you an excerpt from 50 shades of gray 

- you ended up yelling at him again bc ??? wtf sewoon??? can’t you search it up yourself?? 

- ‘’why would i search it up when i have you?? you do know what it is, don’t you??” 

- i mean yeah bUT 

- its only been like a day and this boy took off like 5 years of your life wow 

- but as time went on, he wasn’t so bad??

- he wasn’t afraid to go out with you and let you drag him around to go to cafes or amusement parks or something 

- and he cared for you deeply, like he protected you if people were getting too close or making you uncomfortable 

- he wouldn’t be afraid to stand up for the both of you, but also be a complete gentleman for other people like wtf get yourself a man like this 

having robot!sewoon would include:  late night runs to the store because sewoon doesn’t sleep lol, wanting ice cream but the store was closed but somehow,,,sewoon broke in and ripped the door off the hinges, ‘’what do we do with the door??” ‘’leave it obviously” ‘’lISTEN SEWOON WE AREN’T LIKE THAT JNDFKN’’, exploring through seoul and visiting all the malls and buying all sorts of things, visiting cafes or various other animal cafes and watching as the animals cling onto sewoon and the poor boy getting so confused by them, taking different activities together like guitar or singing classes, finding out that sewoon had a really really nice voice, even if he was a robot, sewoon helping you get ready for a date and end up accidentally ripping all your clothes while trying to tug it off the hanger because he doesn’t know his own strength, and cue you screaming bc ‘’sEWOON MY DATES GOING TO BE HERE IN 15 MINS WF JDSFNK’’ ‘’listen,, i don’t know my strength okay?? sTOP YELLING’’, all in all, a really cute and platonic relationship!! like you really hit a jackpot this time, bless u 

Hot yoga

My timeline breakdown of my hot yoga experience

Register for hot yoga class. Infinite wisdom tells me to commit to 5 class packages. I pay $89.74. Money well spent, I smugly confirm to myself.

Open door to yoga room. A gush of hot dry air rushes through and past me. It smells of breath, sweat and hot. Take spot on floor in back of room next to cute guy. We will date.

I feel the need to be as near to naked as possible. This is a problem because of the hot guy to my left and our pending courtship. He will not be pleased to learn that I need to lose 15 pounds before I propose to him

The shirt and sweats have to come off. I throw caution to the wind and decide to rely on my wit and conditioning to overcome any weight issues my fiancée may take issue with. This will take a lot of wit and conditioning.

Begin small talk with my husband to be. He pretends to ignore me but I know how he can be. I allow him to concentrate and stare straight ahead and continue to pretend that I don’t exist. As we finish sharing our special moment, I am suddenly aware of a sweat mustache that has formed below my nose. This must be from the all the whispering between us.

Instructor enters the room and ascends her special podium at the front of the room. She is a tiny Chinese woman. She introduces me to the class and everyone turns around to greet me just as I decide to aggressively adjust my underwear in my Under Armor. My husband is notably unfazed.

Since I do have experience with yoga I fully consider that I may be so outstanding and skilled that my instructor may call me out and ask me to guide the class. My husband will look on with a sparkle in his eye. We will make love after class.

It is now up to 95 degrees in the room. We have been practicing deep breathing exercises for the last 8 minutes. This would not be a problem if we were all breathing actual, you know, oxygen. Instead, we are breathing each other’s body odor, expelled carbon dioxide and other unmentionables. (Don’t worry, I’ll mention them later.)

It is now 100 degrees and I take notice of the humidity, which is hovering at about 90%. I feel the familiar adorning stare of my groom and decide to look back at him. He appears to be nauseated. I then realize that I forgot to brush my teeth prior to attending this class. We bond.

It is now 110 degrees and 95% humidity. I am now balancing on one leg with the other leg crossed over the other. My arms are intertwined and I am squatting. The last time I was in this position was 29 years ago in the womb, but I’m in this for the long haul. My husband looks slightly weathered sweat is streaming down his face. Well, “for better or worse” is what we committed to so we press on.

The overweight Hispanic man two spots over has sweat running down his legs. At least I think its sweat. He is holding every position and has not had a sip of water since we walked in. He is making me look bad and I hate him.

I consider that if anyone in this room farted that we would all certainly perish.

It is now 140 degrees and 100% humidity. I am covered from head to toe in sweat. There is not a square millimeter on my body that is not slippery and sweaty. I am so slimy that I feel like a sea lion or a maybe sea eel. Not even a bear trap could hold me. The sweat is stinging my eyeballs and I can no longer see.

This room stinks of asparagus, cloves, tuna and tacos. There is no food in the room. I realize that this is an aroma of the body odors of 30 people in a 140 degree room for the last 55 minutes. Seriously, enough with the asparagus, ok?

140 degrees and 130% humidity. Look, asshole, I need my space here so don’t get all pissy with me if I accidentally sprayed you with sweat as I flipped over. Seriously, is that where this relationship is going? Get over yourself. We need counseling and he needs to be medicated. Stat!

150 degrees and cloudy. And hot. I can no longer move my limbs on my own. I have given up on attempting any of the commands this Chinese chick is yelling out at us. I will lay sedentary until the aid unit arrives. I will buy this building and then have it destroyed.
I lose consciousness.

I have a headache and my husband is being a selfish ass. I can’t really breathe. All I can think about is holding a cup of hot sand in my mouth. I cannot remember what an ice cube is and cannot remember what snow looks like. I consider that my only escape might be a crab walk across 15 bodies and then out of the room. I am paralyzed, and may never walk again so the whole crab walk thing is pretty much out.

I cannot move at all and cannot reach my water. Is breathing voluntary or involuntary? If it’s voluntary, I am screwed. I stopped participating in the class 20 minutes ago. Hey, lady! I paid for this frickin class, ok?! You work for me! Stop yelling at everyone and just tell us a story or something. It’s like juice and cracker time, ok?

It is now 165 degrees and moisture is dripping from the ceiling. The towel that I am laying on is no longer providing any wicking or drying properties. It is actually placing additional sweat on me as I touch it. My towel reeks. I cannot identify the smell but no way can it be from me. Did someone spray some stank on my towel or something?

Torture session is over. I wish hateful things upon the instructor. She graciously allows us to stay and ‘cool down’ in the room. It is 175 degrees. Who cools down in 175 degrees? A Komodo Dragon? My husband has left the room. Probably to throw up.

My opportunity to escape has arrived. I roll over to my stomach and press up to my knees. It is warmer as I rise up from ground level - probably by 15 degrees. So let’s conservatively say it’s 190. I muster my final energy and slowly rise. One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Towards the door. Towards the door.

The temperature in the lobby is 72 degrees. Both nipples stiffen to diamond strength from the 100 degree temp swing. I can once again breathe though so I am pleased. I spot my future ex husband in the lobby. We had such a good thing going but I know that no measure of counseling will be able to unravel the day’s turmoil and mental scaring.

Arrive at Tropical Smoothie Cafe and proceed to order a 32 oz beverage. 402 calories, 0 fat and 14 grams of protein – effectively negating any caloric burn or benefit from the last 90 minutes. I finish it in 3 minutes and spend the next 30 min writing this memoir.

olderbrother!au changkyun

lowkey this is an intro, bc i might do more olderbrother!au snippets of mx
but tell me what you think pls this is my first time writing

  • ok you guys are like a year apart
  • wow uh he’d be pretty chill tbh and lowkey tsundere??? 
  • like hes not overbearing or anything and when he will tease the absolute shit outta you sometimes. 
  • and tbh its never really lovey dovey with you guys, y’all are kinda like friends??? and he’ll give you a hard time ,,,, but he cares
  • i promise
  • ,,, deep down,,,
  • you guys kind of keep to yourselves in your own rooms
  • but sometimes you go to each others rooms to hang out, and idk it’s just really chill
  • like he’ll come into your room like ‘hey y/n what are you doing im bored’
  • and you’re like pls kindly gtf bro im doing homework rn and it Sucks
  • but he’ll stay in your room, and bother the crap out of you right, and he’ll look at your homework like ,,,,ugh omfg y/n did you not know the mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell 
  • and he’ll do this huuuuuugge dramatic sigh and says okok sit down yung grasshopper - let the master teach you
  • -cracks knuckles-
  • best believe he will give you nuggies and hip bumps you every ,,,, freaking ,,,, day
  • and will take an extra 5 minutes “getting ready” to piss you off for fun
  • and at school, some of the kids are like omg!!! are you guys!! siblings!!!!
  • and he’ll fr look at you like ,,,,idk who she is????
  • but lbr, he’s a sucker 4 u
  • like if he knows that any dude is into you, he’ll literally give them the side eye
  • and would just be like lol shes not your type (kinda like in lipstick prince)
  • so one time you go his room and is like “hey dude, can i have $20???”
  • and he’ll have his earphones on twiddling with his phone or something so you’d have to legit throw something at him to get his attention right 
  • and he’d finally take off his earphones and is like ,,,wtf do you want annoying brat
  • so you ask your question right
  • and he’s like why??????
  • so you’re like okok i’m going to a sleepover and its to chip in for food - ((but lowkey you’re sneaking out to go a rave)) 
  • and he’s skipping (that lil bitch) around this bush and is like what??? lol you have friends? this is a random time to get ready for a sleepover??? where’s your allowance 
  • bc he knows what you’re up to bc you talk!! so!! loud!! in your room
  • but you’re so tired and guilty by this point and you’re fine whatever maybe my friend can spot me idk
  • but changkyun trusts you and whatever so 15 mins later he walks in your room with 30!! dollars and is like ok brat bring me home some food tomorrow or something and make good choices ok
  • and youre like what bad choices can you make at a sleepover??? but whatever money
  • fast forward like 4 hours
  • you’re frantically calling up changkyun outside the venue 
  • and he answers the phone like ,,,, its 2 fucking am y/n why are you calling me 
  • you’re a blubbering mess and you’re like jfc changkyun you remember how you told me to make good choices at my sleepover well actually i didnt make a good choice bc im actually at a rave haha dont kill me ,, but its crazy in there and hot and squishy and i’m short so i cant see anything and i just wanna leave so pls come get me
  • and tbh changkyuns already in his car by the time you get to ‘good choices’ so he just asks you where you are are tells you to stay put
  • and when you finally see his car, you’re running to it and you get in as fast as you can
  • and he takes a look at you bc you look like a mess im sorry
  • and you start babbling about what happened bc you’re scared you’re in trouble and he has to remind you to breathe y/n bREATHE
  • so you finally calm down and look at him waiting for him to tell you off
  • but hes like well i’m glad you knew to call me and r u ok now
  • and once you’re like yeah im fine no worries
  • hes like ok cool you have 10 bucks left right, lets go get burgers
  • and you’re rolling your eyes but you’re lowkey highkey grateful for him and also you’re stomach starts rumbling so you’re like ok fine

Gay fantasy for me and my best friend.

I know no one will see this or even read it (This is more for me to get my ideas on a permanent place), but just for reference: My best friend (justin) is straight and has a 9 inch dick. Since we were 13 and 14, we have jerked off together, over the course of the time I have been slowly convincing him to let me blow him. When I came out things kinda changed. Maybe 6 months after I came out I asked him and he said maybe. The next week I blew him and have been blowing him most times I see him since (once or twice a month). Im really good at it and am really quite good at deepthroating the whole thing. But any time I bring up anal I have to pretend that Im against it too cause he is soooo adamant against it. Well anyway, im going to his house this weekend and I expect to blow him, but I have a fantasy of how anal could start. (Right now we’re both 18 but for all u boy lovers, I have been giving him handys since 13 and started sucking his dick at 15)

Justin’s mom and dad are out for dinner and his sister left to go meet her friends before going clubbing about 20 minutes ago. 

We’re in his room and he asks “are you horny?” and I reply “yes”

“good cause im super horny… Ive been horny all day and havent jerked off in like 5 days”

“lol i jerked off last night, but yeah im super horny, too” 

“you wanna watch porn?” he asks

“I mean sure, but aren’t we passed that point?” I ask with a little bit of hesitation

“yeah but idk isnt it a formality?”

“Lol yeah true” I say pretending that I dont hate the fact that Im not gonna get to blow him for another 20 or 30 mins.

“hey wait i tottaly forgot to tell you!” he says walking out of his room

“what?” I say following him. He goes into his sisters room and goes into her closet and rummages through some shit until he pulls out a black dildo. “holy shit” I say

“I know! when I found this i was shook.” he says walking back to his room with the dildo

“Ive legit never seen one before” I say (which is true… I have to get creative)


“yeah… is it bigger than your dick?” I ask

“I dont think so, i have to get hard. Ill get the porn up”

“cool.” I say while picking up the dildo. “i wish you found a fleshlight or something. Ya know? like something we can actually use. Like its cool and all cause its a sex toy but like how are we gonna use it?” I ask

“idk. well I guess you could use it” he says

“What do you mean by that?…” I ask

“Well i mean you could practice deepthroating with it, right?”

“Oh yeah… true. Will be the same though? like I feel like an actual dick is softer”

“Try it” he says almost like a command. I do and obviously I can deepthroat it. “see you can practice ahahh.” He says jokingly while he pulls up a straight porn video. We both sit down and start rubbing ourselves. After a little while of rubbing, justin takes out his dick and says “hand me the dildo” I do and he places it next to his dick. His dick is a good inch bigger. “Yeah definitely bigger” he says

“I can obviously deep throat the dildo fine, but still think its harder than your dick, even though its shorter. I guess it would be a good way to practice haha.”

“Well you dont know for sure, but theres a pretty easy way to find out” he says with the dildo still propped up next to his own dick. Without saying anything, i get up and on my knees in front of him and start sucking his dick. I want to get it a bit, but he clearly doesnt care as i feel his hand push on my head. I go down until my throat is full and my nose is in his pubes. “Now try the dildo” he says, again like a command. I pull off and try the dildo. I pull off and say “Your dick is much easier.”

“well maybe its because your throat is used to my dick… keep going” he says moving the dildo away. I keep sucking his dick. Every minute or so i deepthroat. In between I bob up and down, lick his head, his tip, up and down the shaft, sometimes the balls. As i am kneeling, I go down for my 5th or 6th deepthroat after maybe 5 minutes of straight sucking. When fully in my throat, he places his hand on my head and pushes down harder and stands up. this results in my face smushing into his abs. my nose is completely squished and the rest of my face makes full contact with his stomach. when he releases i slowly pull up and keep sucking his dick. I guess he did expect me to handle it that well. expecting me to pull off. instead i keep sucking for maybe 4 or 5 seconds until he puts his plan back into action. He places his hands on the back of my head, puts his leg up on his bed and starts face fucking. Hitting the back of my throat every thrust, every other 5 or so he pushes it to a deepthroat. I am good at sucking dick, but this is a lot to take. After a minute or so of this abuse, he pulls out and says “Holy shit that was good but I dont wanna cum yet”

“Im shocked you havent already”

“Well I hope that wasnt too much for you” he says… finally seeing signs of my friend again and not the sex beast he turns into

“No it wasnt too bad” I say

“I guess the practice on the dildo worked” he says… hitting my ear wrong

“I guess so haha. That just sounds so weird to me. Ya know? it just sounds so anal.. when you were like you could use it I thought you were implying Anal and i was shocked.”

“Yeah no thats not what I meant… but considering how horny I am today, i wouldnt be shocked if I said some dumb shit like that and meant it.”

“Hahah you’re that horny, huh? Well I mean at first I was scared cause I thought you were insinuating that you wanted to… ya know.. and idk your dick is just too big haha. But I suppose if I used the dildo first it would help…”

“Hahah well it worked great for blowjobs so ahhah”

“You’re not serious, are you?”

“no no no not at all! are you kidding”

“No haha good… cause if you were serious that shit would probably take a while” 

“what do you mean?”

“well I mean to stretch enough for ur dick would take a long time cause im reeaallly tight” i say trying to turn him on 

“Well my sister wont be home till tomorrow and my parents wont be home until around 1Am so i mean you would have time, but lets just go back to porn for now and continue the bj in a little bit.” he says.

“Yeah” I say. He is completely naked watching the porn but i am still in my boxers cause well my bits usually dont get much action when I suck justins dick, but I have a feeling tonight might be different. “Its getting hot in here” I say, as I stand and take my boxers off, making sure that my ass is facing him when I bend down to get them off in a subtle suggestive way. I sit back down and we look at the porn, but neither of us are jerking off to preserve the nut. He gets up and tells me he is going to use the bathroom and when he gets back that we should continue. I agree to his terms. I take this opportunity to make sure my butt is facing him when he gets back. I stand up and get my phone and when I hear him coming back I bend over to put my phone away in my bag on the floor. As he we walks in, my butt and hole are now in full view. when he walks in, instead of telling me to come and suck his dick, he surprises me by sitting back on his bed and asking me a question. 

“How long, do you think, would the dildo take to get someone ready for my cock.” He asks as i know he is starting to fall into my trap

“I have no idea.. why?”

“Well i mean what if I want to do anal with a girl but dont have all night. like how long do you think it would take roughly.” he says grabbing his dick and starting to stroke it

“I literally have no idea. I would say look it up, but i doubt some sort of study or answer like that exists online.”

“Yeah I guess ill just have to find out the hard way. but it would be good to know ahead of time.”

“yeah it probably would huh.” as I say this, he gets up a gets the dildo and brings it back to him and he sits down with it. He puts it up against his dick, which is now hard.

“Well its shorter than mine by a little so probably once someone is used to it I could fuck them fine and it would still be tight.”

“Yeah… well it would still probably take a while.”

“yeah, sucks to be this big haha. Stupid problems i have to deal with. Thats why it would be good to know how long it would take ya know…”

“Yeah… well if you ya know… wanted that data… then… idk… if you wanted maybe… i could…” 

“Are you sure thats cool? I mean i wont think anything different of you… i would just really help me out…!” He says kinda giddy

“Yeah np… do you have lube”

“Yeah” he says getting some vaseline. He gives me the vaseline and the dildo.

“Do you wanna watch or do u want me to do this in private and let you know after ?”

“umm… I mean if you dont mind me watching Im happy to stay and keep you company.. i mean, dude youre doing me a favor so…”

“Yeah i dont mind.” I say and the start to lube my hole and the dildo while my friend sits in his desk chair and watches, slowly stroking his dick. I start to push and I am quite tight. it takes like two minutes to get the first inch in and then another 2 seconds to the get the 2nd,. 3rd, and 4th. I hear him say woah. I start relaxing and after maybe 5 to ten minutes I can comfortably get 7.5 inches of the 8 inch dildo up my ass. 

“Holy shit” he says

“yeah i guess it didn’t take too long after all.. like 10 mins or so.”

“Yeah wow. well.. uh… thank you.. do you think you would be comfortable to just leave it up there?” I don’t respond and just put it back up and leave it in. Its fine. “Wow… hey, can u hand me the vaseline” he says

“Sure…” I say skeptical about the use. I give him the vaseline with the dildo still up my ass . He takes some vaseline and starts rubbing it on his dick. “Why are you doing that, its gonna taste gross” i say.

“Well we’re not gonna go back to blowing now… we’re gonna jerk off a bit more first” 

“Oh sure yeah ok… so ill just take this out.” I say taking out the dildo, making sure he can see it sliding out of my ass. I am really shocked at how forward justin has been tonight.. Usually he beats around the bush or says something while insinuating something else, and obviously he has done that tonight, but I proud about how direct he was being. Well.. proud until he said “Hey I know you like sitting in this chair while we jerk off, do you wanna sit here?”

“Oh sure yeah” I say getting up waiting for him to get up

“Whats the matter? I offered the chair” he says

“I wanna sit in the chair… let me sit in it.”

“I am letting you… just sit on it” He says with that I under stand what he says. My ass is still very lubed up and his dick is shining with vaseline. Playing along I I say “Okay, yeah ill just sit down then…” Then i turn around and lower my hole onto his dick. Because of all of the lube the first few inches go quick, but it soon becomes quite hard to handle and regardless of all that stretching im still tight.  I accidently let out  girly moan at maybe the 7th inch and I hear him whisper “fuck yeah…. you’re so tight still”.

As im struggling to get his 8 th I hear him whisper me a command: “bounce”… so I do and I start to bounce up and down and i start moaning soft less girly moans than before each bounce. I hear him grunt in please under me. Its all going fine until he repeats his signature move. as im going down for another bounce, he grabs my pelvis and stands up pulling me in closer, sending all nine inches up my tight hole. I let out a scream as he yells “Fuck Yes!!!” He holds me there for another few seconds as im wincing trying to deal with the intense pain. He breaks the bond by pushing me off his dick and onto his bed. I lay there almost paralyzed by his dick. He hops on agains and starts thrusting into me hard and fast. Almost going into me 9 inches everytime. I was in extreme pain until it turned into the best feeling in the world. We both start saying things like fuck yes. Then he slows down and says “you like this, huh?” 

“yes” I say honestly. He starts to slow down and rhythmically fuck me. Not pounding, but sexy, body rolling thrusts getting all 9 inches in every time. I bring my knees up to a frog position to open my ass even more and use the leverage to start push back into him. He keep fucking like this for another few minutes until the friction from the sheets on my dick and his god like dick up my ass make start coming. I yell “im coming!” so he speeds up and starts pounding again and gives me the craziest orgasm. He keeps pounding throught the squeezes my asshole gives him until he pounds in extremely deep in me. I can barely feel it but deep in me I feel his hot liquid. The start of a true fuck buddy relationship… HOPEFULLY!!

anonymous asked:

Wait, walking is better for fat loss that jogging? Would you be so kind and elaborate?

First off let me start this off with something so a Bunch of people don’t hop on my Ass haha. Everyone’s Body is different. Not every Body will react the same way to certain methods of training. Some people swear by this but that may not work for someone else. There is No ONE Training for every single person because its Personal to them. That’s why its called Personal Training ya find what works for you and stay consistent. Just wanted to say that cause Not enough people know it but lets get to your question that I can answer from MY OWN personal experiences and various studies I’ve done from College classes and my own personal gain for knowledge.

This may be a bit of Read but It’ll explain somethings to you


First of all let me say this about Running/Jogging, its GREAT.

Its gets you from A-B faster, keeps your heart and lungs healthy, makes ya feel better, Helps ya lose weight, and Keeps ya safe in a Zombie Apocalypse.

Overall it’s a fantastic exercise. BUT if you are talking about Pure Aesthetics for Fat Loss purposes, Running is good but its not the best and most efficient way to lose fat faster. Now a lot of people think that since Running can be taxing and burns a lot of calories of course its going to make ya lose fat fast and it is true that consistent running can do that but if you Really want your Body to look nice for the beach or a Photo Shoot there are 2 other Extremely Helpful ways to accelerate your fat loss and those would

LISS (Low Intensity Steady State)


HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training)

Now I’m going to get a lil Scientific and talk about the chemistry of it but don’t worry I’ll make this easy to understand ^u^. You see in our Bodies we make ATP our bodies main form of energy.

And we get that from Glucose (sugar in our bodies we get from foods broken down). Now in our Body the food we eat gets broken down and stored as Fat, Glucose, Proteins etc. When we do a High energy Aerobic activity like Running our body takes the Glucose we have stored and trades it for about 36 ATPs so we can run further. And While you are running your Body is Using the calories (Which are just units of Heat energy) from mainly the Glucose and some fat since you are using a lot of energy to maintain your speed. To keep it Simple your body looks at what its got for energy and goes

“Okay I got some Fat I can burn for energy, a Bunch of glucose especially since he ate a ton of pasta stored here, and if I really need to But I will TRY at all costs to avoid this I can burn these Proteins and Muscles as a last resort.”That’s only if you are OVERTRAINING like fuck.

Originally posted by mizkatts-litterbox

Since you’re Running your body is primarily using Glucose and trading it forATP so you can run longer and longer and fat is there and some is being burned but not as much cause your Heart rate is above the Fat Burning zoneso its not the main source of energy. By the way to Find your Max Heart Rate take the number 220 subtract your age and to find your fat burning zone multiply your max heart rate by .55 or .7.

Now this is where LISS (Low Intensity Steady State) comes in. Im friends with a Few Bodybuilders riothiei included who Say this is their primary form of Cardio when getting ready for a show. I used this when I injured my Back last year and couldn’t do HIIT and my god the results were awesome. Also people like Physiques of Greatness, the Hodgetwins, Elliot Hulse etc etc have praised LISS.

Heres the thing about LISS though, Its not going to make you Super Athletic and it takes a while to complete and it can be boring, BUT Its very therapeutic and relaxing. Because LISS is so Low Impact all the calories are coming from Fat instead of the other stuff. So its best to do it in the morning on an empty stomach. 1 hour of LISS in your fat burning Zone can Burn up to 600 calories of fat. Its great for people with Injuries or disabled folks

But if you’re like me and want to challenge yourself HIIT is the way to Go 

Now the thing about HIIT is because you are pushing yourself so Hard in a short amount of time, (15-20 mins) Your body actually goes into an Afterburn state where you continue Burning fat after you are done training.

Lemme give ya scenario
Lets say 1 day you do 1 hour of LISS and you burn 600 calories all from Fat, then the next day you do 15 minutes of HIIT and burn 250 calories.
Now you may think you did more with the 1st one But the 600 calories burned from LISS ends as soon as you finish that training. When you do HIIT you may burn 250 then but your Body is still burning fat after you finish and you also released some Growth Hormone so you’re gonna look pretty ripped.

But not all people can do HIIT cause its so Intense so LISS is a nice alternative. Also I don’t want you to think I’m bashing running. I LOVE IT it gives me a good scenic route and I love pretending Im in an Anime Opening

Sequence while doing it.

Hope that Nerdy Jax science lesson helped you out.
Good luck to you and Happy Training.

140903 Bangtan Ilsan fansign

The first fansign for bangtan’s new album was this wednesday allll the way out at the very end of line 3 in ilsan at kintex. The seats were first come first serve and since I wanted to take pics I went early in the morning to get on the fanmade list so i’d be early on in the order and therefore close to the front. i ended up being #28 in the second row right in front of suga, jimin, and taehyung which was great for me since they’re my top 3 hehe if i /have to pick/ sob…

we came back at 6pm for the name check and then went and had dinner at lotteria where i prepared my questions and got made fun of for not being able to pick a favorite member by my friends ㅎㅎㅎ but all and all it was a good time. i had brought a stuffed penguin to give taehyung along with a picture i took of him once where i really thought he looked like a little penguin, but i wasnt sure what the atmosphere would be like what with the tragic news of Ladies’ Codes’ accident. I was a bit worried,honestly, that it would be kind of a subdued first fansign and wasn’t really sure that kind of present was appropriate, but when the boys came in they were as bright as ever. they seemed super happy and excited to finally be meeting their fans again and were quite playful and smiley dispite the circumstances. I think being an idol means being skilled at compartamentalizing things, so even though they were probably affected by that they could also enjoy seeing their fans, happily.

The order of the fansign was Jeongguk-Jin-Hoseok-Namjoon-Taehyung-Jimin-Yoongi, which was a nice for me, but weird having Jeongguk be first. The members im usually the most awkward with are Jeongguk and Jimin actually ;; for some reason i can never think of things to say to them, but this time at least i had a built-in lead in for jeongguk since i could wish him happy birthday.

I knelt down across from him and gave him my album and he smiled and asked my name, which he wrote with a heart next to it. I asked him how his birthday was and he very emphatically told me it was really good, and then i mentioned that i was actually at simply kpop that day so i saw him haha. Then he read my question for him which was “Which hyung gives the best presents? What kind of present did you get from him?” and he wrote seaweed soup, so i said “oh so Jin hyung?” and he was like yeah~ and that was pretty much the whole conversation with him. Oh, and he told me I spoke Korean well. i told him i’ll see him on friday too and then moved on to Jin.

Jin greeted me with a “Hi~ What’s your name” and when I told him “Kat” he was like “oh like your headband?” because I had a cat ear headband on, but i think he might have just pointed, not actually said headband bc he was speaking english and i dont think he knows the word haha, his english pronunciation is so nice though wow. Then he went to read my post it, but i got really embarrassed so i covered it up and told him “dont read it, im shy now!” hahaha;; and he was like haha it’s okay, so i uncovered it and he started to read it again but i kept getting shy (basically i wasn’t sure if i’d be able to speak korean properly so i wrote a note just kind of rambling that he’s super attractive and lately every time i see him he gets more attractive to me, but I just.. got soo… embarrassed! aha…). And then he was like “Do you know my part in danger?” and I was like “yeah??” and he started singing it and like… made me sing a long lmao. and then he asked me if i knew jeongguk’s part, like he wanted me to do it? but i was confused so i asked which part he meant and was like 귀요미 지못미? haha. i told him I was coming again on friday so he should try to remember my name and he told me he would and gave me a high-five.

Hoseok greeted me with the opening of Hormone War, “Hello hello, hello hello~” which was cute haha he asked me my name and I was like it’s kat and he wrote it but he was talking to me without actually looking at me but I was like yeah I saw you last promotions too you don’t remember? and he looked at me really confused haha i don’t think he remembers meeting me at all despite me also seeing him all summer at airports and such. i told him i cut my hair so maybe he doesn’t recognize me but i think he was still confused. he kept drawing hearts next to my name to make up for it though haha. my question for him was “What’s a song you really want to make choreo for?” and he immediately wrote “We On” I asked him what about a non-Bangtan song and he he thought for a second and wrote “Wiz Khalifa~♥︎” so i told him I really wanted to see more of his choreography and said bye and moved on.

Namjoon greeted me with a big smile and said “LTNS”… to which i replied…“sorry?” and he got all flustered and was like “oh like long time no see haha…” and I was like “ohhh! yeah… wow namjoon you know more english slang than me, I know!” and he got all bashful like “naww man hahhahaa” it was cute. Then he asked me where I was from and even though in my head I was like… namjoon we’ve been over this, I just said California and of course it spurred him into an excited tumble of words about how great California was and i told him it looked like they had a really good time. i asked him to write a poem with each line starting with one letter from my name (like you can do in korean with characters in people’s names, but you can do it in english with letters). So he hid the post-it as he wrote it and kind of giggled to himself. he quickly turned the page so i couldn’t see it and he wouldn’t let me turn back to it either. he started laughing a lot and was like, “don’t look at it now, and it’s just a joke okay?”. I was like, “wh..y…?? what did you write omg” but he just kept smiling and laughing.

This is his beautiful poem. such lyrical genius and this is the poem i get haha:

V was next and he greeted me brightly with his cute “hello~!” and i said hi, and he asked me my name and I said Kat. He started to write cat with a c, but corrected himself and crossed it out and was like, “oh no, K! K! right??” and I was like yeah! that’s right, and he goes, “yes!! i remember! you came to gwangju right!!” and I was like yes! omg and he goes in English, “I missed you!!” and I just was like “I missed you more taehyung!” and i gave him the penguin and he kind of played with it and put it under his arm while he signed (i really want to see a pic of it T^T if anyone sees it let me know please!!) and i tried to explain that it reminded me of him in the picture i gave him with the thing but im not sure if he understood what i was saying to him lol. anyway, he was really cute and he didnt look at my post-it but i dont even careeee because TAEHYUNG T^T.

Jimin greeted me and asked me name and just.. jimin is so handsome his skin is such a nice tone and i just get really overwhelmed by looking at him because i think he’s so handsome T^T. he signed my album and answered my question, which was “you did really well at sukira by yourself! if you could go on a show with one member who would you choose?” and he picked Jhope. i said i think that would be entertaining, and then we just stared at each other. i should have asked him why he picked hoseok… or something… but i just… stared at him haha. eventually i was like “you become really really handsome;;” but then i had to move on. idk… park jimin does something to my brain T^T

Yoongi greeted me in korean with a “long time no see” and asked me name. he asked me if i went back to the states between promotions and i told him no, i’ve just been here^^ and he was like really?? you didn’t go home? and I was like, “no… you didn’t see me at the airport and stuff? cos i saw you guys a lot haha” and he was like ah.. yes… but im pretty sure they just dont look around when they’re doing stuff. like the only time they actually look at their fans are when they’re right in front of them at fansigns.. sigh. anyway, then he answered my post-it which hairstyle do you like the best on you? and he went down all the options and checked them all saying, i like them all! and i was like ok… well pick a favorite? he thought about it a bit and chose haruman. i told him it was my favorite on him too. he told me my korean has improved since last time he saw me and i told him thanks and i’ll see him friday ^^

and that was my fansign. nothing too exciting to be honest, but it was nice to see them again in such good moods. and V remembered me T^T I cant… the rest of the fansign i just took pics and waved at them every so often. some other cute things that happened though:

-at one point V accidentally drew a dot on his face and everyone shouted at him about it. he made a lot of funny faces but didn’t actually try to get it off. finally someone gave him a hand mirror and he made a super exaggerated tragic face haha. he tried to get it off with a tissue but couldn’t so a staff had to give him some kind of cream lol.

-jimin got some kind of packaged toy and playfully tried to hit taehyung with it but accidentally hit him in the face with the sharper part of it and taehyung made a pained/surprised face so jimin apologized a lot and reached his arm around him like ‘are you okay??’

-and then like 15 mins later he got a soft toy and hit taehyung in the face with it to which taehyung just made an “unamused” resigned face haha.

-someone gave jimin a big rainbow slinky which he played with but accidentally threw it over the table to the audience side and someone had to retrieve it for him. everyone was teasing him about it lol

-a few minutes later suga was playing with a stuffed whale plushie and threw it in the air, but it also fell to the otherside of the table. all the fans were like “its okay!” and jimin made a really affronted face and was like, “no its not!” (like why do you guys tell him it’s okay but make fun of me T_T)

-a fan gave each member little red flowers, jeongguk, jin, suga and jhope all put them behind their ears while namjoon and taehyung only kept them briefly, but jimin really liked it. he held it through the entire fansign in his left hand, and even during their picture time and carried it out with him.

-at the end their mics weren’t working very well, they kept cutting out. hoseok’s wasn’t working at all so namjoon took it and it worked fine. hoseok took it back and it stopped… so namjoon took it again and it worked.. and hoseok made such a cute annoyed face haha like whyyyy??

-jeongguk sang part of Rain for us

-they asked us to be extra careful going home tonight because the roads were dangerous.

(feel free to take out anything from my fanaccounts, but please credit back to me thank you!)


“What did you do at circus today, Ida?”
“Drew Handers sleeping in a pile of limbs.”

… but only because I had a half an hour with nothing to do because of how today’s plan went (15 min + 15 min with the other teachers, and then 15 min with me AFTER). :D I’m glad nobody wandered over to me and asked what I was doing because they like to go “ewwww” at things that are completely normal and idk. Maybe drawing handers in circus WOULD be pretty weird. xD

Mostly wanted to share because this was actually done IN circus. xD That’s probably about it for my art energy today anyway. Sundays are murderrrrr. x__X

ETA: anders has more than one left leg in this or my eyes are doing something weird. OH WELL. i DID draw it in circus. :D

ETA2. Apparently there was enough energy to do stuff with this and give Anders a right leg, and stuff. :DDD

Punch! >> Jungkook, OC (Part 7)

Parts 1|2|3|4|5|6













“Get away fromJungkook, if you want us to be good friends” she said.  

Everything flashed in her mind like a playing movie.

It kept on repeating over and over again that she almost felt disgusting from the view.

That night after school, she didn’t leave her room. She was just staring at the ceiling, trying to get the sight– of what she saw– out of her mind.

It’s not like we have feelings for each other. She thought, burying her face in her pillow.

She wanted to cry and to scream, but she couldn’t, even though it hurt for some reasons deep inside of her chest.  

Keep reading

Smoke & Mirrors

Chapter One - Truth & Disposition

Chapter Two

Dedicated to shliimazl for giving me the title!! :)

28th of May, 2010


Blood in his hair, blood on his shoes, blood on his trousers. But never any on his hands.

Min Yoongi—or, Suga as so many of his enemies call him— was not a very patient man. Kinda the reason why the blonde-haired man lying on the ground next to him was coughing out blood each second that passed.

“Get up, Namjoon,”

More blood.

Suga kicked him again. And again. And again.

“Get up, Namjoon. I’m not going to ask you anymore.”

The black-haired boy looked at Suga with thinly veiled hate in his eyes. “Fuck you,” he mumbles. Suga takes a step towards him, and Namjoon can’t help but flinch. “What was that?” he whispers. Namjoon stays quiet. “That’s what I thought,” Suga smiles. Clapping his hands together and smiling, Suga takes a deep breath. “Now, where is my silver, Namjoon?”

Namjoon begins to laugh. “When did it come to this, Yoongi? Was it when she died?”

Yoongi’s fists clench. Reaching into his right pocket, one of his fists just so happen to clench around his gun.

“Or was it when he died? I don’t know why you’re tensing up, Yoongi, it’s not like you were made to watch them die, not like you were forced to see them tortured. Not like you were the one who had to identify the bodies even when I knew full well whose they–”

One gunshot rings throughout the room, just grazing the top of Namjoon’s head.

“Where is my silver, Namjoon.”

Namjoon laughs again.

“Why should I tell you? I owe you nothing. Anyway, Jaechul and Hana would be rolling in their graves if–”

Two gunshots.

One, lands in Namjoon’s shoulder.

The other, lands way too close to his heart.

Namjoon collapses.

Yoongi isn’t seen for five years.

1st of January, 2015

Music plays softly in the background, as 4 revellers sit around the TV watching the new year countdown, while one dozes in the corner. The oldest of them speaks. “Can somebody go and wake up Jaechul please? It’s almost 12 and we gotta give him the cake.” The youngest of the bunch, Taehyung volunteers. “Happy new year, hyung!” Moon Jaechul rubs his eyes, still drowsy from post company drinks. “It’s 12 already?” He yawns, stretching. The young boy nods in excitement. “Come on, lets go! There’s cake in the kitchen!” Shaking his head in wonder at how a 19 year old could be so excited over New Years, Jaechul trails along after him. “Jaechul! Taehyung!” 5 other guys stand around the kitchen table, donning party horns and hats. Jin ruffles Jaechul’s hair, smiling down at him. “Happy birthday, and happy new year, Chullie.” Jaechul smiles in thanks as various other members of the small get-together congratulate him. His pocket vibrates with the ringing of his phone. Heading outside his one bedroom apartment, he dismisses the curious stares he receives.

“This is Moon Jaechul. Who’s calling?” Tapping his foot impatiently, he asks again. “Who’s calling? Hello?” Jaechul reaches to end the call, when a voice he wasn’t supposed to hear again speaks.

“Wow, I honestly thought you of all people would recognise this number, Yoongi.”

The world stops. “Na-Namjoon,” Yoongi breathes. “You aren’t supposed to be alive.” Namjoon cackles over the other side of the phone. “You’re right, Yoongi. I’m not. And yet, it seems, God didn’t want me just yet.” Recovering himself, Yoongi starts. “Look, Namjoon, I don’t know how you found me, or why, but–” “Oh, come off the bullshit, bro. You know why I called you.” Yoongi grinds his teeth. “I fucking hate you, Yoongi, you know that? Hey, did you ever get your, you know, silver?” Yoongi rolls his eyes. “I’m not involved in that anymore. And stop calling me Yoongi. That isn’t my name.” He states. “How sad. See, the thing is, Yoongi– God, I love saying that to piss you off– You owe me. A lot. So I’m cashing in on everything you owe me. Everything.” Yoongi’s fists clench in anger. “I don’t owe you shit, Namjoon, and you know it,” Namjoon laughs again, louder, and then stops. “I was 15, Yoongi. Fif-fucking-teen when you forced me to risk my life getting your stupid silver, or should I really say, cocaine?” Namjoon grows more hysterical with each word. “Look Namjoon, you did those things on your own. I never forced you; you came to me that night, begging to work for me. Don’t even begin to fucking try and pin everything on me, Namjoon. Now lie down, and go to sleep just like you used to.” Yoongi calmly whispers. This was getting out of control. Namjoon screams down the line. “No! Don’t tell me what to do, you fucking bastard! It’s your fault my sister died! It’s your fault Jaechul was murdered because you couldn’t handle the fact that Hana loved him! Him, not you! You owe me, Yoongi, because every single mark, welt, bruise, gunshot that I had to suffer for your so-called business– I was only 15, Yoongi.” Namjoon’s voice breaks. “I lost everything for you.” He clears his throat. “And I will cash in on everything you owe me Yoongi. Starting from now.” Yoongi starts to reply, but the line is cut. The conversation is done.

“Goddamnit!” Yoongi shouts into the distance. Turning on his heel, he starts back towards the party but abruptly stops. “Ah, fuck. You didnt hear all that, did you hyung?” Yoongi runs a hand through his hair. Jin simply glares at him. “Who the hell are you, Jaechul? Or do I call you Yoongi? What do I call you? Were the past few years all a lie? Who is Namjoon?”

Yoongi is silent.

Jin inhales deeply, then nods. “I see. I guess clearly this relationship wasn’t as I thought it was. Yoongi, Jaechul, whatever the fuck your name is– I don’t want you here. I don’t want you around us. This Namjoon guy sounds dangerous, and I will not have your actions bring consequences to those boys.” Yoongi nods in assent. “Leave by 6pm tomorrow.” Yoongi can do nothing but watch as Jin stalks back inside.

God, how Namjoon loved the smell of weed sometimes. It was so satisfying; the slight sharpness of it combined with its soft, lulling scent– oh, he could get high off of that alone. It was so much better than the mollies he used to smoke at those dingy underground “parties”. Namjoon had upgraded. Moved on to better, more fulfilling stuff. “Light me another blunt, will you?” Namjoon’s half lidded eyes dart around the room. To any other person, you could stab his leg and he wouldn’t notice, but in actuality, his mind was on full alert. Hell, it was hard to ever relax when 90% of the people you knew and trusted wanted you dead. A blunt is put into his outstretched hand. Raising it to his lips, he inhales it deeply, holding his breath to let it settle in his lungs. The true effect of marijuana on him had long worn off a long time ago, but it was still satisfying every once in a while. Settling into a lull, Namjoon picks up his phone and dials a familiar number. “I told you not to call me when I’m out, man,” Namjoon shakes his head. “Just give me the details on our little druggie friend, Jungkook.” Namjoon liked Jungkook. He was fresh and cunning, and he manipulated people to his advantage. Regardless, he was still far from trustworthy in Namjoon’s eyes. Nobody ever was. Snapping out of his thoughts, Namjoon tunes back in to the conversation. “…So he apparently lives in this one bedroom apartment in this dingy part of Seoul– I’ll text you the map of it– got a bunch of pretty boy friends, one of them seems to have overheard the little heart-to-heart you and Mr Druglord had last night–”

“What do you mean by overheard?”

“What it means. He overheard, so he knows, I guess.” Silence is heard over the line. “You want me to handle him for you?” Silence is heard over the line again. Jungkook smiled to himself. He hadn’t taken a life in quite a while.

So? What did y'all think? This is the first chapter of my fic/thing/lordknowswhat!! I wanna know what you all think? Any questions you may have about the plotline/characters etc. I want to know!

Admin T

dragonthorku  asked:

Hey JaxBlade, I injured my toe a month ago so I'd been just walking for cardio 1 hour everyday and now its healed I've been running a lot recently and I noticed that my fat loss was much greater when I was walking instead of running. Any reason behind this?

Hey there DragonThorku, First off let me start this off with something so a Bunch of people don’t hop on my Ass haha. Everyone’s Body is different. Not every Body will react the same way to certain methods of training. Some people swear by this but that may not work for someone else. There is No ONE Training for every single person because its Personal to them. That’s why its called Personal Training ya find what works for you and stay consistent. Just wanted to say that cause Not enough people know it but lets get to your question that I can answer from MY OWN personal experiences and various studies I’ve done from College classes and my own personal gain for knowledge.

This may be a bit of Read but It’ll explain somethings to you


First of all let me say this about Running/Jogging, its GREAT. 

Originally posted by viral-motivation

Its gets you from A-B faster, keeps your heart and lungs healthy, makes ya feel better, Helps ya lose weight, and Keeps ya safe in a Zombie Apocalypse.

Originally posted by eyesiveneverseen

 Overall it’s a fantastic exercise. BUT if you are talking about Pure Aesthetics for Fat Loss purposes, Running is good but its not the best and most efficient way to lose fat faster. Now a lot of people think that since Running can be taxing and burns a lot of calories of course its going to make ya lose fat fast and it is true that consistent running can do that but if you Really want your Body to look nice for the beach or a Photo Shoot there are 2 other Extremely Helpful ways to accelerate your fat loss and those would

LISS (Low Intensity Steady State)

Originally posted by 2legit2notbefit


HIIT (High Intensity Interval Training)

Originally posted by fitsporexiaa

Now I’m going to get a lil Scientific and talk about the chemistry of it but don’t worry I’ll make this easy to understand ^u^. You see in our Bodies we make ATP our bodies main form of energy. 

Originally posted by ieatintheshower

And we get that from Glucose (sugar in our bodies we get from foods broken down). Now in our Body the food we eat gets broken down and stored as Fat, Glucose, Proteins etc. When we do a High energy Aerobic activity like Running our body takes the Glucose we have stored and trades it for about 36 ATPs so we can run further. And While you are running your Body is Using the calories (Which are just units of Heat energy) from mainly the Glucose and some fat since you are using a lot of energy to maintain your speed. To keep it Simple your body looks at what its got for energy and goes

“Okay I got some Fat I can burn for energy, a Bunch of glucose especially since he ate a ton of pasta stored here, and if I really need to But I will TRY at all costs to avoid this I can burn these Proteins and Muscles as a last resort.” That’s only if you are OVERTRAINING like fuck.

Originally posted by narutotoes

Since you’re Running your body is primarily using Glucose and trading it for ATP so you can run longer and longer and fat is there and some is being burned but not as much cause your Heart rate is above the Fat Burning zone so its not the main source of energy. By the way to Find your Max Heart Rate take the number 220 subtract your age and to find your fat burning zone multiply your max heart rate by .55 or .7.

Now this is where LISS (Low Intensity Steady State) comes in. Im friends with a Few Bodybuilders riothiei included who Say this is their primary form of Cardio when getting ready for a show. I used this when I injured my Back last year and couldn’t do HIIT and my god the results were awesome. Also people like Physiques of Greatness, the Hodgetwins, Elliot Hulse etc etc have praised LISS.

Originally posted by kurooneki

Heres the thing about LISS though, Its not going to make you Super Athletic and it takes a while to complete and it can be boring, BUT Its very therapeutic and relaxing. Because LISS is so Low Impact all the calories are coming from Fat instead of the other stuff. So its best to do it in the morning on an empty stomach. 1 hour of LISS in your fat burning Zone can Burn up to 600 calories of fat. Its great for people with Injuries or disabled folks

But if you’re like me and want to challenge yourself HIIT is the way to Go and DragonThorku I remember you asking me about HIIT before so you already know from that post

Now the thing about HIIT is because you are pushing yourself so Hard in a short amount of time, (15-20 mins) Your body actually goes into an Afterburn state where you continue Burning fat after you are done training.

Originally posted by iheartsportsgifs

Lemme give ya scenario Lets say 1 day you do LISS and you burn 600 calories all from Fat, then the next day you do 15 minutes of HIIT and burn 250 calories. Now you may think you did more with the 1st one But the 600 calories burned from LISS ends as soon as you finish that training. When you do HIIT you may burn 250 then but your Body is still burning fat after you finish and you also released some Growth Hormone so you’re gonna look pretty ripped.

But not all people can do HIIT cause its so Intense so LISS is a nice alternative. Also I don’t want you to think I’m bashing running. I LOVE IT it gives me a good scenic route and I love pretending Im in an Anime Opening

Originally posted by snkunicorn

 Sequence while doing it. But that’s probably why you saw more fat loss the first time around.

Hope that Nerdy Jax science lesson helped you out. Good luck to you and Happy Training. 

Originally posted by tsundere-maki

dramione favorites || valentine’s prompts

What do Draco and Hermione find themselves doing on Valentine’s night?

Pairing: Draco Malfoy x Hermione Granger
Words: 1,664

From: dmalfoy@auroroffice.ministry.com
To: hgranger@internationalrelations.ministry.com
Subject: hey sexy
14 February 2005 at 9:49 AM

hey sexy


From: hgranger@internationalrelations.ministry.com
To: dmalfoy@auroroffice.ministry.com
Subject: Re: hey sexy
14 February 2005 at 9:52 AM

Mr Malfoy,

This is entirely inappropriate conversation for the workplace, let alone over emails where any of my superiors — or yours, for that matter — can see. Please refrain from contacting me in this matter again.

Hermione J. Granger
Head of the Department of International Relations
Ministry of Magic


From: dmalfoy@auroroffice.ministry.com
To: hgranger@internationalrelations.ministry.com
Subject: Re: hey sexy
14 February 2005 at 9:53 AM

u took more than 2 mins to reply to my email. are u trying to wound me? and i apologise for the inappropriate conversation. let me sign my email this time

Draco A. Malfoy
Head of Hair Better Than Most Other People’s
Ministry of Malfoy
‘Better than you since 1980’


Keep reading

Ok. SO this post is about Lisa, she’s had like 40 urls,. some of them are neuert, thomasmullert, javierpastorie, idk theres 40 sldkfjsg anyway, this post isn’t about her being racist or transphobic like most other callout posts about her detail. You can check those out here and here.

No, this post is about how manipulative and gross she is and how she continues to spoonfeed bullshit about me to all of her 15 year old friends.

When lisa and I first met, I had barely been a football blog. I used to be a popular humor blogger and I started football blogging on accident really, about halfway through last season I noticed people posted pictures and gifs of diego on here when he was at chelsea so I followed a bunch of chelsea blogs to keep the constant flow of daddie diego goin. One of them was raegan danialves (deactivated i think?) 

Anyway, thru raegs I met lisa, and we jived pretty well at first. She sent me a couple messages and we always joked about and had fun and she asked for my number so I was like sure and gave it to her.

Our relationship was fine at first, we talked all the time and we would be joking around and we both liked bayern so we would send eachother funny pictues of pep and whatever. I noticed eventually tho that we would constantly get into fights, about literally everythinG?? And usually she would start the fights and when I got mad she would change the subject or play the victim and act like I was the one who was always picking fights.

For example, she would always be saying all kinds of rude shit to me and talking about how she hoped diego died and how much better off the world would be and I wasn’t allowed to get mad at her but if I even said I didn’t really like how much arjen robben dives she would go OFF on a rant about how I’m making fun of her nt and how I’m hurting her feelings and all this shit like w/e anyway go off lisa. Everything is fine when you do it but when I do it its wrong lmao.

FAstforward, posts were being made by people like SCott and CAro and other people about the nasty shit lisa has done like making racist and trasphobic remarks (see attached posts) but I didn’t know any of that was going on bc I didn’t follow very many football blogs. Like 6 chelsea blogs and lisa and two madridistas. She would always be crying to me about how much she gets bullied on here and how she hates it and I would be trying to comfort her bc I cared about her, y’know. I’ll come back to this later.

Let me start describing the ways in which she was manipulative and emotionally abusive. She would get mad at me for talking to other poeple more than her, people I was closer friends with like dana @lucasvazquez and marta @marcelitovieira (two of my best friends who I would probaly die for tbh) and she was like guilttrip me into not talking to them 

like..what am I supposed to drop everyone I talk to and just be friends with you? ANyway. After all of this went on we would continue fighting almost daily, like we were. Everything I did was wrong to her. Even my breathing was wrong. She would tell me how much she loves me yet yell at me for lierally everything.

She was really depressed for like a week or so and didn’t talk to me very much so I took it upon me to take action and I contact Scott to ask him to apologize to her. (THIS is actually the reason she hates me.) I messaged scott @serdartasci on here and asked him if I could speak to him on kik, he accepted and we talked for a few hours about nothing in particular before I dived into the heart of what I wanted. I asked him if he would apologize to lisa for “bullying” her. I thought it would make her feel better. Lisa didn’t like that evidently lmao because she went off on me as usual 

to spare you a bunch more screenshots, basically she kept telling me I betrayed her and stabbed her in the back and that it was the most disrespectful thing she’d ever seen in her life.

Keep in mind, again, I did it because I thought it would make her feel better. Scott during all of this did not say a single bad thing to me about her or anything she had done. At this point I still don’t know about all the racist stuff, and scott didn’t tell me. Scott was very respectful and kind, he wasn’t anythign like she described him i.e. two faced, cold, picks on people on the internet, has no respect for anyone loves to bully people.

Scott is one of the sweetest, most caring people I’ve ever met tbh. Keep that in mind, that’ll be important later.

Back to what I was saying, this chain of events triggered lisa to unfollow me and refollow me 3 or 4 times, telling me that she loved me and didn’t wanna lose me and then turning around and telling me to go to scott since I like him so much.

theres a lot more of thse, this went on for like two or three days and lisa would keep guiltripping me into blocking him and stuff and at this point I really didn’t want to? Scott was kind. He was patient, he never yelled at me and AGAIN, he didn’t sway a single bad thing about lisa this entire time we were talking. If anything he kept telling me that I shouldn’t keep talking to him if it’s gonna upset her and I was like ok. I didn’t listen to him but anyway lmao lisa ended up being like

and i was like ok glad thats over. but ti wasn’t over bc she messaged me again like two hours later and was like “ok fine be friends with him bc i dont wanan lose u its not worth it i love u so much mins” and i was like ok…….

then AGAIN the very next day, after she just told me she was fine if i was friends with him and. hh im tired of adding screenshots but i have them all if y’all need proof, anyway i asked her why she keeps trying to guilttrip me into dropping him when she has other friends are are friends with him and she was like um who and when i named off like three people she changed the subject and was like “anyway blah blah bye” and stopped talking to me again and I was like ok.

She messaged me again the next day and asked if I was still talking to scott and I was like yes I like him he is my friend lisa and then she got even more pissed off and started cussing me out and I was like

I literally explained to her I didn’t wanna be her friend anyumore bc I was tired of her constalty yelling at me and that me and scott got along well.

Her last words to me were this

lmfao rude ass bitch.

So anyway. This is why lisa hates me. 

So @ all y’all little girls in the group chats with her who listen to her stories about how I bullied her for hours until she deleted and how I told her to die and sent her anons can get your fucking heads out of my ass.

She tries to befriend all of my close friends on here and talks shit about me to them and tells them lies about me and my friends. Scott has apologized to her multiple times and never says anything bad about her yet she constnatly talks about him STILL, like almost a year after everything happened and when he literally never makes posts about her.

when she was catfishing as emma she sent marta this

I never said but now that you mention, I do hope you die Lisa :)

and incase y’all donm’t believe that lisa was catfishing as emma

ok anyway im tired of typing so if u wanna know anything else or have questions feel free to message me :)

someone @ that rafaelangelo thing that’s 20 feet up lisas ass so she can fuck off and stop talkin shit about me too thanks

Wrong Foot - Jay Park scenario

Originally posted by jayfatuasian

Request:  Could I have a scenario where Jay meets his girlfriend’s male roommate for the first time and starts getting protective?            

Word Count: 1.2k

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: N/A

A/N: Sorry this took longer than expected. The first draft of this scenario got deleted on accident and it took a while to motivate myself to start over even though I do believe this version came out better than the original. I hope you like it and thanks for requesting!


“You’re gonna really like him Jay, this is gonna be so much fun.”

“Fun for you maybe, more like torture for me.” Jay replies to you.

You rolled your eyes at your boyfriend during the facetime. Jay had just slipped on a white tank as he was getting ready to come over to your apartment and meet your roommate Jonghyun for the first time.

You and Jonghyun met at a coffee shop that you frequently attended, in which Jonghyun just so happened to work there as a manager. The two of you became friends rather quickly and when you expressed to him that you were looking for an apartment closer to the coffee shop as well as your job, he had offered his apartment since he was looking for a new roommate. Though sharing an apartment wasn’t ideal, after a few weeks of coming up short handed in a search for one that met your expectations you decided to take Jonghyun up on his offer. Plus Jonghyun’s apartment was very spacious and it was close to your job as well as the coffee shop that you loved so much.

But when you started dating Jay, everything changed. Dating a man who was the founder and Co-C.E.O of his own record label had its perks but it would be a lie to say that the financial differences between the two of you didn’t burden you. The last thing you wanted was to depend on Jay and despite all his attempts to get you to move out and find a new apartment, you just weren’t budging. Living with Jonghyun allowed you to save money and live closer to the city, this wasn’t something you wanted to give up.

Now that Jay understood your reasoning as to why you wanted to continue stay in your apartment, the least you could do was let Jay meet Jonghyun and see that there was absolutely nothing to be worried about. Besides, you and Jonghyun didn’t see each other that much because of your different work schedules.

“Jay you’re taking forever! Just choose a cap to wear and come over already.”

“Okay babe, just give me 15 mins. and I’ll be over to meet your precious Janghyun”

“Its Jonghyun..”

“That’s what I said.” He smirked mischievously before ending the facetime.

Walking out of your bedroom you met Jonghyun who was straightening up the living room and making sure everything was tidy before Jay had come over.

“Jonghyun I appreciate the effort but no need to stress yourself out. Everything looks good in here.” You reassured him, as you looked around the living room area.

“I know, I know. But your millionaire boyfriend I’m sure expects the apartment to be spotless.”

“Jay’s not like that… ”

“Maybe, but I just want to make sure everything is perfect before he comes over. Can’t blame me for that.” He turned to you with a bright smile before the doorbell rung.

“Wow that was fast.” You said looking at the watch on your wrist before walking up to the door to open it.

You turned to Jonghyun, giving him a thumbs up to signal to him you were about to open up the door.

“Hey baby.” You greeted Jay with a hug and quick peck on the lips as you opened the door.

“Hey babe.” He smirked as you led him inside the house.

“Whoa, this place is a lot bigger than I thought. It looks nice.”

“Ah, thank you.” Jonghyun spoke up as he walked towards Jay with an extended hand so he could shake it.

“Jay meet my roommate Jonghyun. He was the one who did pretty much all the decorating.”

“Wow, that’s um…impressive.” Jay forced a smile and you could tell something was off.

“Thanks, so did you want to eat? Me and Y/N cooked Kongguksu earlier.”

“Oh – since when do you cook Y/N?”

“You know I’m terrible at it but Jonghyun is such a great teacher…” You blushed looking at Jonghyun.

“Yeah well, I taught you how to do some cool bboying moves so who’s the real teacher now?”

You rolled your eyes playfully as you whooshed him into the kitchen to eat alongside Jonghyun.

Once you placed the Kongguksu in bowls with the help of Jonghyun (all the while receiving annoyed glances from Jay) you placed the food onto the table and sat next to Jay, ready to eat.

As the three of you began eating you hummed in delight due to the taste of the dish.

“This so good! I was scared the noodles wouldn’t be tender but everything came out perfectly!” You exclaimed clapping your hands and flashing a smile at Jonghyun.

“I know, you were one heck of a sous-chef.”Jonghyun teased you with a wiggle of his eyebrows.

Jay huffed as looked between the two of you.

“Maybe you should cook for me back at the crib. I’d definitely reward you for it.” Jay spoke up, suddenly making the conversation awkward with his suggestive attitude.

“Maybe..” You giggled awkwardly as you returned to eating the cold soup.

Once the three of you began finishing your meal Jonghyun decided to end the silence and start up some small talk.

“So Jay, Y/N told you me you own a record label. How’s that?”

“Time consuming.” Jay replied with one word as he turned his attention to you, blatantly ignoring Jonghyun.

“Knock it off.” You whispered to him, ignoring his hand that crept slowly up your thigh.

“So…where did you meet Y/N at? I didn’t expect her to get a boyfriend so soon since she was so focused on work.”

You ears perked up once you heard Jonghyun’s question. You had hoped Jay would answer respectfully and maturely but being with Jay made you learn to expect the unexpected.

“You’re asking me so many questions, why don’t I do the same?” Jay replied with annoyed grim look on his face.

“Baby, just chil-”

“So Jonghyun do you have a girlfriend? You seem to be so attracted to Y/N. That must be why you can’t let her live on her own despite knowing very well she has a boyfriend!”


“What?!? You can’t expect me to just be okay with you living here with some guy!”

“I told you already Jay, me and Jonghyun are just friends and I’m tired of explaining this to you!” You screamed at Jay while standing up from your chair. “The point of you meeting Jonghyun was for you to get to know him but this whole time you’ve been acting like a complete asshole.”

Jay and Jonghyun both stared at you completely stunned by your sudden outburst.

“Jonghyun is a great guy and you two have so much in common. Instead of being so overprotective why don’t you actually try to get to know him? If you did maybe you would learn he’s actually gay!” You exclaimed making Jay open his mouth wide.

“Wow….I had no idea.” Jay hung his head and moved his hand over his mouth, completely embarrassed.

“I’m so sorry. I really had no idea I was causing so much turmoil in your guys relationship.” Jonghyun sighed glancing back and forth between you two.

“No I’m sorry.” Jay suddenly spoke up. “This is my fault. I was acting like a jerk even though I told Y/N I was okay with her having a male roommate.”

Your eyes softened as you heard Jay’s confession.

“Well it looks we got off on the wrong foot. Maybe we can start over?” Jonghyun had reached out his hand to Jay over the table.

“Sure, now that I know you aren’t out to steal my girl.” Jay replied with a light-hearted laugh, shaking his hand.