i did this for buffy way back when

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I’m doing my second vid in my SE 8x16 marathon and each time I watch the scene, there’s always something different I love about it because there are so many nuances in the physicality of their parting. Today, what I find endearing about the goodbye is this hug:

Because it’s after Stefan says this:

So this is Stefan saying “goodbye”, he’s ending their time together without actually saying the word because like Elena in 6x22, he’s unable to actually say “goodbye” to her like she was unable to say goodbye to him:

to which Stefan agreed, “I can’t do this, Elena, not now, not ever”, which is literally true because like I said, even in 8x16 Stefan cannot bring himself to actually say bye.

But back to the point, he’s saying farewell and Elena can’t handle it, her devastation is quiet and subtle but the moment Stefan takes his hand away from her face because he’s about to leave:

Elena reaches forward to hug him because she’s not ready to let go:

and back when theories were flying around about Damon erasing Elena and Stefan’s memories of each other, I told anons the only way I would be OK with it is if they did something like BTVS where Buffy was freaking out when she was losing her memory of a Human Angel and she goes, “it’s not enough time, it’s not enough time”:

and while the SE scene was a lot more subtle and less urgent than the Bangel scene, I think that they did their own unique version of “there’s not enough time, I’m not ready to let go” with that hug:

and it showed just how much they love each other.

*none of the gifs are mine*

MTVS Epic Rewatch #177


BTVS 6x22 Grave

Stray thoughts

1) Okay, where had we left off?

Oh, right, right, Ripper is back!

2) “Daddy’s home! I’m in wicked trouble now!” I’ve always thought the way Dark!Willow delivered this line hinted at a different meaning of “Daddy,” if you know what I’m saying…


WILLOW: But, hey, if you’d like to watch… I mean, that’s what you Watchers are good at, right? Watching? Butting in on things that don’t concern you?
GILES: You concern me, Willow. Stay on this path and you’ll wind up dead.

Okay, let me preface this by saying that, like probably everyone else in the fandom, I legit cheered when Giles showed up and took Dark!Willow down. And let me follow that by saying that if you’ve been reading my recaps/meta, I’m about to get just a tad bit repetitive.
As awesome as Giles’s arrival was, I can’t help but feel it was too little, too late.  If there was one person who could’ve predicted – and who I fear actually knew – the path down which Willow was headed, it was without doubt Giles. Let’s not forget that Giles had been a rebellious teen himself who had found power in magic. He, too, had thought he was almighty and that he was in control of magic, not the other way around. We all remember where that got him (2x08 The Dark Age.) And I know what you’ll say: he wasn’t Willow’s father nor her watcher. Pardon my French, but that’s a bunch of bullshit. The fact that he wasn’t Willow’s father nor his watcher does not excuse the fact that he stood idly by as a responsible and experienced adult witnessing how a teenager was in over her head with magic. The fact is, Giles acted irresponsibly and carelessly. He knew. And yet, from season 2/3 till season 5, all he did was either sternly frown or mildly warn Willow of how dangerous the magic she was dealing with was. Come season 6, and yes, I cheered when he scolded her in Flooded. Yet, I can’t help but feel this was, again, too little, too late. A good old scolding is hardly a deterrent for a witch intoxicated with the power of magic. If anything, it’s the opposite. Moreover, Giles found himself speechless at Willow’s not-so-subtle threats. I can admit that, in spite of how similar his own experience was to Willow’s, he might have been ill-prepared to tutor her or guide her in the right path (but then again, he does end up doing exactly that in season 7, so there really wasn’t any reason for him not to do it before she went dark…) If that was the case, then Flooded was probably the moment he should’ve gone to the Council or the Coven or whoever was better prepared to help her. That is, he should’ve done it when he first saw signs of Willow’s darkness. Not when she had already gone over the edge.
So, as much as I’ll always see his return in Two to Go as a moment of awesome, I can’t help but feel he failed Willow.
Rant over. (but will be resumed, you’ve been warned…)

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anonymous asked:

Do that trauma thing but for angel! (Please)

Anonymous said: Different anon, but I’m curious, what do you think is the most traumatic thing the main characters from AtS went through?

Anonymous said: Sorry u might have got this ask and just. Or wanted to answer but if not could you do the trauma ask thing for angel plz


Without a doubt, I would list Angel’s biggest trauma as losing his son when Holt jumps through the portal to Quor-toth.

Angel is a person who is used to losing those he cares about or having to walk away from those he loves to protect or save them. He is someone who can usually take these losses in stride, collect his emotions and remain stoic and focused on the bigger picture. Connor is an entirely different matter.

Angel obviously never planned on or thought he would ever have a child, so when Connor was miraculously born, he became Angel’s entire world, to the point where Angel literally would not let anyone else hold him or go near him for the first twenty-four hours of his life. He loved Connor more than anything in the world, and his priorities changed entirely when Connor arrived. Suddenly Connor was the thing Angel put above all else, the one person he couldn’t live without, the one being who owned all of Angel’s soul.

So losing Connor was, to put it mildly, devastating for Angel, as witnessed by his subsequent actions. Never before has Angel lost it the way he did when confronting Wesley at the hospital, never before has Angel been so driven by pain and rage and trauma that he literally didn’t care if the whole world burned so long as he got his son back. And when everything failed to get Connor back, he went almost catatonic, sitting inside Connor’s burnt-out room for days, not moving, not speaking, too devastated by the loss of his son to even pretend to be alright. No trauma before or since has ever affected Angel in such a devastating manner.


Kind of like Buffy, I feel like Cordy’s actual biggest trauma and the event presented as her biggest trauma are different events.

For me personally, I would list Jasmine hi-jacking Cordy’s body, raping her and Connor, using Cordy’s body to commit murder and eventually birthing herself to be Cordelia’s biggest trauma, especially since Cordelia retains memories of the whole ordeal. Another being taking over your agency and body and using you for evil, leaving you with no choice in matter and no way to stop them would be terrifying and traumatic and absolutely horrific to experience. However, due to the fact that Cordy slips into a coma and eventually dies from this ordeal, there is no way for the show to present and explore the after-effects this would have had on her had she survived.

So, with that in mind, I would say that narratively Cordy’s biggest trauma is the physical manifestations of her visions in That Vision Thing. As she says to Lilah in the episode Billy, she was burned, cut, traumatised and didn’t know whether she would die, rendering her completely helpless. The physical pain she endures throughout that episode, not to mention the psychological damage it would have done, seems to stay with Cordy for a while after, and as we see in Billy, she still clearly recalls the feeling of being victimised and feeling powerless.


Look, I know that the show wants me to view Fred’s death as Wesley’s biggest trauma, but I hate the Fresley relationship, Wesley’s role within it and his creepy and obsessive feelings for Fred, and I find his pain over her death to be narcissistic, self-indulgent and self-centered and if anyone gets to grieve Fred to that degree it should be Gunn, you know, the guy who had an actual relationship with her for over a year, who respected her and was her equal partner, not some creepy sexist dude who infantilized and idealized her, and screwed over everyone and anyone to get her in the end.

So I would list Wesley’s biggest trauma as his childhood. Much like Xander, there are definite hints that Wesley’s childhood was unhappy and abusive, and that his father in particular was emotionally and probably physically abusive. And again, like Xander, you can see a lot of this reflected in Wesley’s behaviour and his attitude towards women. Although, unlike Xander, Wesley indulges his sexism and allows it to turn into full-blown misogyny, and he ends up treating the women in his life appallingly because of this.


I think Gunn’s entire life up until he meets Team Angel is probably saturated with trauma, given that he’s been watching his friends die and been trying to protect everyone for years, but it is fairly obvious that his biggest trauma was when Allona was murdered, turned and then sent back to him only for him to have to stake her.

We know that Gunn was crazy protective of Allona, that she was the most important person in the world to him. While he was concerned with keeping his entire crew safe, Allona was prioritized above all, she was the one he ultimately wanted to keep out of danger. So when she was not only taken by vampires but then turned into a vampire and returned to him, the trauma and pain and guilt cut deeper than anything Gunn had experienced before or since. Not only was Allona’s fate a consequence of his own recklessness but he was then forced to kill her all over again, much like Xander was with Jesse. And, much like Xander, this incident has such a profound effect on Gunn and traumatizes him so badly, that he struggles to shake his black-and-white view of the world and he has a very hard time fully trusting Angel, seemingly only being able to do so towards the end of Season 3/early Season 4, despite fighting shoulder-to-shoulder with the vampire.


I think we can all agree that Fred’s biggest trauma was being sucked through a portal and having to fend for herself for five years in Pylea. While Fred proves how self-sufficient and strong she is by surviving the Hell dimension, the after-effects of this trauma seemingly stay with her for the rest of the series.

As we see in the series, when Fred finally escapes Pylea she is still so traumatised that she basically develops agoraphobia, refusing to leave her room, scribbling on her walls and avoiding everyone in the Hyperion. Once she finally does start venturing outside, her mannerisms remain timid and anxious, she frequently hides under or behind furniture and she doesn’t start to really recover until the middle of the season. A combination of her beautiful relationship with Gunn, as well as being forced into a leadership role when Angel, Cordy and Wes disappear, finally helps to turn into a stronger and more in-control character, but as we are shown in Supersymmetry, she still carries the trauma of Pylea enough that she is severely triggered when a portal opens on top of her. Had she lived, she probably would have had to work to overcome this trauma and finally get to a place where she didn’t fear her past as much.


Oh god, Connor, basically until Angel changes his memories and gives him a new family, this poor kid’s entire freaking life is one long Emotional Trauma Conga Line. I mean, where do I even start? Kidnapped as an infant, raised in a hell dimension where his foster father used extreme methods to teach him survival (tying Connor to a tree and leaving him there for days springs to mind – and Connor was a child when this happened), brought up to hate part of himself, punches through to our world to meet his biological father, starts to form a bond with him and is then manipulated into believing his biological father killed his foster father, kicked out of home and forced to live on the streets, emotionally and sexually manipulated by a Higher Being who also rapes him, mistrusted by everyone, called a freak, made to feel like an outsider and broken so badly that he is driven to murder and suicide.

I know the fandom finds Connor whiney and bratty, but really, can you blame him? Look at all this shit the poor kid goes through! And throughout all of this, he literally has no one to turn to, no one in his corner, whom he trusts, whom he feels he can go to for advice or support. Honestly, I always have massive amounts of sympathy for Connor, as his entire life is one big trauma. Poor kid.

Consequences (BTVS 3.15)

This is part of my ongoing Buffy Project, where I write notes/meta for every episode in an attempt to better understand the characters and themes of the show. You can find the full list here. Gifs are not mine.

Consequences is pretty single-minded in its focus on the fallout from Bad Girls. Buffy is feeling guilty and weighed down by the Deputy Mayor’s death (literally in her dream of drowning). Faith is keeping her from breaking the surface by not allowing them to tell. The body is found and Wesley sends them to investigate what happened. 

The way you read both sides of the Faith Goes Dark storyline depends on your personal interpretation of the characters. Personally, I think Faith has too much pride and too little trust to admit to anyone that she did something wrong. 

Faith: When you gonna learn, B? It doesn’t matter what kind of “vibe” a person gives off. Nine times out ten the face they’re showing you? It isn’t the real one.

No matter how good or trustworthy a person may seem, Faith doesn’t buy it. People are liars. Faith is kind of obsessed with getting people to admit things about themselves they’d rather not look at, but that’s another essay. In Faith’s mind her good qualities are the ability to remain “five-by-five” and detached. It’s her armor against the world, and taking responsibility would require laying it down. I also think that she senses that, though it could have been Buffy that committed the murder, it wasn’t and that makes all the difference. Killing him lit something in Faith that it wouldn’t have in Buffy; it sent her over the edge. And the other characters sense it too. 

Buffy: I am trying to protect you, Faith. If we don’t do the right thing it will only make things worse for you.

Angel: She killed a man. That changes everything for her.

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I’m gonna calm down now.

So, Spike is back in Sunnydale. He’s the First’s bitch, but we don’t know that yet. I dunno why it is exactly that Buffy was so surprised to see him in the basement (other than he looked weird and hadn’t been around recently), but to me it looked like she wasn’t scared of him? You know, like she should be after he tried to rape her? Is that because she knew he felt horribly about what he did or because she could tell something was different about him (the crazy, I mean)? And also, we know now that Spike was out of his mind, seeing things because of the First. But watching it back, you can see the exact moment he realizes that the girl in front of him was really Buffy. The little “Buffy, duck” thing was, well, adorable. 

Okay, so I believe that everything Spike said when he was “crazy” had a meaning to it. You just gotta look deep enough. So, when he says “Don’t you think I’m trying! I’m not fast. I’m not a quick study. I dropped my board in the water and the chalk all ran. Sure to be caned. Should’ve seen that comin’,” I think he’s trying to tell Buffy (and probably the First) that he’s trying to atone for what he did, but he’s not succeeding because he hasn’t had his soul in a long while. The progress he made before the soul was washed away as soon as he tried to rape Buffy. And he suspects that he’s being punished for it now. Spike dialogue in the first episodes of S7 are so profound. You don’t realize it on the first run through, but if you go back and really listen, it’s astounding. 

Buffy obviously isn’t too untrustworthy of Spike in this scene. I don’t know if, like I said before, it’s because of the crazy or because she knows she can handle herself or what it is, but she seemed to be ready to fight the ghost-like things with Spike by her side. The tender moment where Buffy asks Spike what he did to himself, with him answering “I tried to cut it out,” is one of my favorite moments of the season. It’s a very nice moment between the two of them where you can almost see Buffy feel sorry for Spike, even before she knows what he went through. 

This end sequence with the various “baddies” talking to Spike is pretty significant, to say the least. Of course, it gives us insight into the thing that’s going to be the final boss for the season, but it also shows us Spike in a way we’ve never seen him before. For someone who loves Spike more than anything, this is a big deal to me. He’s busted up and broken down, so somber that he didn’t get to give Buffy his “I have a soul” speech. It’s a very powerful scene, to me. 

Aye, Spike is back in black. So to speak, I mean, he’s wearing blue. Which is out of character for him. So, maybe he’s not back in black exactly. Whatever. 

I really love the backseat attitude he takes with Buffy in this scene. I’ve said that in a post before, but it’s such a running theme with him throughout the season that it’s important to note. First of all, he genuinely is there just to help out. No ulterior motives. That’s already a totally new Spike. Second, he knows that saying sorry won’t do jack shit. He knows that and he tells her that. He also tells her that if she wants him out, he’ll go and stay gone. That. Is. A. Huge. Deal. Spike is letting Buffy drive this situation all the way. And, again, he’s not doing it so she’ll come back to him, he’s doing it because he’s a good man. He maybe shouldn’t of called her wariness of him being “skittish,” but nonetheless.

I really love that Anya was the one to realize he had his soul back. I also really love that Spike doesn’t want Buffy to know. He sort of implied that in the scene prior, too, when they were checking out the hole in the ground. He knows that he probably won’t get her back, but he doesn’t want to influence her in any way by telling her he has his soul back. He doesn’t want that to be an excuse, he just wants Buffy to realize that he’s changed somehow. 

The part before the church, where Spike accidentally stabs that guy, is a very interesting way to deliver, basically, the plot for S7. First, Spike says, again, how painful it is to have the soul inside of him (because he’s unaware that it’s First messing with him at this point). Then he says something that has sort of a double meaning for both the First and for him. The “call it quits, now there’s an option. If only it were that easy” bit. For Spike, it means that he feels like he’d be much better off if he could get rid of the soul, but he doesn’t see that as an option because he doesn’t really want to get rid of it. For the First, it means that Buffy can’t quit. She’s revving up for the fight of her life, and there’s no going or coming back from it. 

After Spike yells at the First, I really love how Sarah gives Buffy the expression of, almost, pity for Spike. It’s a nice way to show that she knows this Spike is different from the one she knew in S6. She just doesn’t know how, yet. 

Sidebar: I’m gonna brag on James’s acting with basically every scene I talk about, so get ready.

The little speech before the “from beneath you, it devours” line is so well done. James knocked it out of the park. It’s the right amount of creepy and ominous. And James also makes it very clear that Spike has been snapped into a sort of trance that makes him say the things he said. I’m not done braggin’ on James in this episode. Hold up. We gon’ do the church scene. Which is, besides the lovey dovey stuff at the end of the season, my favorite scene in the whole show.

I told y’all the blue shirt was weird! A “costume” he says. Whoa, that’s sad as hell. Buffy with the touching of the wounds again. C’mon, Buff. Don’t you know he’s sensitive? No, but really, Spike asking her if he was “flesh” to her is so profound. Spike begins by asking if Buffy even thinks of him as a person at all, then if he was ever anything other than a “sex toy” to her, then he sort of resigns and “accepts” that that’s all he’ll ever be to her. “Service the girl.” One line I want to dwell on here is “Feed on flesh. My flesh. Nothing else. Not a spark.” To me, this is Spike telling her that he doesn’t blame her for not loving him. Because there wasn’t a “spark” (soul) to love. There was only flesh, ergo, only sex. It’s very, very sad to me.

“The girl doesn’t want to be serviced. Because there’s no spark.” I mean, it’s pretty obvious what Spike means here, but God isn’t is heartbreaking? Knowing that when he says “spark,” he means “soul” makes this scene so much richer. Hearing him say he tried to find his soul because she didn’t want him just hurts. And he feels ashamed of it, of everything. He can’t even talk about it unless he’s in the shadows. Spike dreaming about killing Buffy… here’s the thing: I feel like he dreamed of that because of, what he said, her making him “weak.” He wanted her to not be there so he wouldn’t have to love her and let that love make him better because being better is too painful. But I also think he dreamed of killing her because, to him, that would’ve been better than what he did do (attempted rape). I don’t know. Either way, it’s a hell of a bit.

“Angel, he should’ve warned me.” Click. Buffy sees. She understands. She knows why he’s so different now. You can see her trying to work it out, even rationalize it away. No, he wouldn’t’ve gotten his soul back just to be with me, would he? “Bit worse for lack of use.” Initially, before we know about the First, that’s really fucking sad.

So, when Spike says “It’s what you wanted, right? It’s what you wanted, right?” I assumed he was talking to the First the second time around. But I think, now, that he was talking to God. Saying to him you wanted me to have my soul back, right, so you could punish me for everything I’ve done? That ends up tying in with what he says about everyone he ever hurt screaming in his head at him to go to Hell. And I think Buffy gets that, too. I think she feels sorrow (?) for Spike because she realizes that’s a hell of a lot to feel guilty about.

Spike’s confession, or rather, literally everything he says from here on in, is one of the most heartbreaking, sorrowful things I’ve ever seen on television. Buffy asks him “Why?” Spike tells her. He says “Why does a man do what he mustn’t? For her. To be hers. To be a kind of man who would nev– To be a kind of man.” Let’s talk about that for a moment. The break in his voice at the end of that sentence, fucking ow. This is the first time we get a verbal confirmation of Spike’s regret about the attempted rape. Not only did he get his soul back for Buffy, he got it back for him. He didn’t want to be the kind of man that would do that to someone, let alone someone he loved. In fact, he says instead that he wasn’t even a man before. He didn’t deserve to be called a man, so he got his soul back so he could be one, any kind at all just so long as he wasn’t the void of a man he thought himself to be before. I keep saying it, but holy shit is that sad and profound. 

Okay, I know this bit by heart, ready? “And she shall look on him with forgiveness. And everybody will forgive and love. And he will be loved. So everything’s okay, right? Can we rest now? Buffy, can we rest?” This is what he was hoping would happen. Not what he thought would happen, but what he hoped for. Spike wanted to come back to her and be forgiven and loved. Which, of course, that happened, but Spike is too fucked to realize that that’s a possibility right now. He then says, kind of sarcastically, “So everything’s okay, right?” It’s not really meant to be sarcastic, I know, but the way it’s put into the scene it’s almost like Spike is saying it should be better now. Why isn’t it better? That’s why he says “Can we rest now?” He just wants it to be done. He just wants Buffy to love him. But at the same time he thinks he doesn’t deserve it and thinks he’ll never get it. So, he’s numbed himself to the idea that the pain will never stop. He’ll forever be in a state of regret and grief and aching pain. I think that’s why he rests on the cross, because nothing could hurt more than what he was already feeling. It may also be a metaphor for Spike still feeling like he’s a monster that doesn’t deserve forgiveness. Because, cross’s burn vampires, right? So, of course, Spike is still a vampire. Spike burning himself on the cross could be a way of reminding himself that no, of course she can’t love you. You’re still a monster. 

James killed this scene. The acting quality here, for the both of them, is just amazing. It gets me every time, I get pulled into the world and all I can see/feel is Spike’s torment. Lovely, yet haunting. 

Speaking of James killing scenes. So, this episode isn’t Spike-centric like the previous episode was, but this scene doesn’t disappoint. 

So, of course, in this scene (which had to of taken extreme discipline and talent to film) Spike is talking to Willow and Xander and Buffy. It’s interesting to me that Spike can see Willow when no one else can, same with Anya. I suppose the thing that made Willow invisible doesn’t apply to demons? Anyway.

Okay, so the thing he says about the permission slip? I’ve got no idea what the hell he’s talking about. I did say earlier that a crazed Spike’s ramblings meant something if you listened hard enough, but I think that’s an outlier that doesn’t mean much other than confirming that the Hellmouth is drawing darkness to it. I think from then on in this scene, it’s pretty obvious what Spike is talking about in regards to himself or to Willow and the body, so I won’t explain, just talk about it.

Bragging on James again, the moment when Willow says she can’t find anyone, Spike gets this look on his face like that’s strange because I’m looking at them right now. 

Couple questions: How did Spike hear about Willow skinning Warren? And also, why is Willow not more concerned that Spike is literally out of his fucking mind?

I love the little nod to “Fool for Love” in this scene when Spike asks for a word that means “glowing.” I also really love that Spike doesn’t chalk up this scenario as him being crazy, he knows that Willow isn’t there exactly. I’m telling you man, Spike is right a majority of the time. Even when he’s crazy, apparently.

Holy shit, this scene is so sad. 

I mean, obviously, right? I think Buffy was already feeling pain for Spike. Not feeling sorry for him, but understanding and knowing that the pain he’s feeling is real and that he really does feel badly about the things he’d done in the past. You can tell that, too, because she’s appealing to his “hero” side to try and get him to be lucid so he can help. She tells him that Cassie needs his help, hoping that’ll get through to him. And Spike trying to “stay quiet” is so sad.  

When Spike pegs himself as the evil in the basement, you can see Buffy feeling that pain I talked about earlier. And when she explains that it isn’t her that is going to be hurt, that’s when I took the screen cap above. That face breaks my heart. He’s so confused and lost and pained. Like he knows exactly where he is but doesn’t at the same time, and he can’t figure out why. He’s using Buffy–looking at Buffy, into her eyes–to keep him grounded.

“Don’t-don’t leave me. Stay here and help me be quiet.” This is another one of those moments. You know, the sad ones. 

Okay, really quick here. Spike’s using this moment to make up for what he did to Buffy (for himself, not for Buffy), at least a small bit. He tells one of the dudes trying to kill her that he’s a bad man. I don’t think this is a totally straight forward line, as I thought it was before. I think Spike said it to mean I’m a bad man, but I’ll be bad for the right reasons. Him whimpering as he hit that guy is sort of hard for me to watch just because it isn’t the roaring, Jesus Christ that hurt, scream that usually comes out of him when he hurts someone; it was small and weak, and that’s not the way we’re used to seeing Spike.

Right, so the “someday she’ll tell you” bit. We know how that ends up now (extremely sad), but at the time we’re just as confused as ol’ Spike. I wonder, when Buffy did tell him, if he remembered that moment. 

Jesus, I didn’t realize how long crazy Spike lasted. You have no idea how many I wanted this conversation (as shown above) to be real between Buffy and Spike. I know a lot of people use the “we’ll get through this” line in Spuffy posts as if it were real, but God. I can’t imagine Buffy ever being that gushy towards Spike, but I can dream.

Added on to that, the First is one evil son of a bitch to do this to Spike (giving him the closure and peace he feels like he’ll never have with Buffy). Of course, the main thing to remember with this scene is that it is a real conversation to Spike, at least in the moment he’s having it. So, Spike talking about Dru and telling Buffy he could never ask for help after what he did to her, that’s a really beautiful moment from him. It’s also very sad because he’s telling her that they’ll never get past it all and she’s telling him she sees that he’s changed, and we know that they do get past it and Buffy does see the change.

The actual talk they have won’t make you feel any better, either. Spike says he doesn’t have anywhere to go other than the basement, and boom, now you’re crying again.

So, I was originally going to skip this episode, but this scene and the one immediately after are too important to pass up. Buffy helping Spike is a big step anyway, but when he touches her? And she jumps? But she says it’s her not him? Listen, I’m glad that six episodes in, they’re still addressing the attempted rape and how that’s affecting Buffy. But the fact that after he tells her he’s sorry for touching her arm, she says it’s her issue and not his? That’s a big deal. Especially because it’s totally understandable that she’d be jumpy. It conveys that she knows he’s not the same man as he was when he tried to hurt her. Basically, this scene shows us that Buffy doesn’t think she needs to be cautious around Spike at all anymore, that the jumpiness (in this scene) was just a bodily reaction. The amount of strength in that, man, whoa.

The scene after this one is the one where Dawn is asking Buffy why she’s helping Spike, even after he tried to rape her. I love this scene because Buffy tells Dawn that Spike knew as soon as she threw him off that what he’d done was horrible. I appreciate that little tidbit because it directly contradicts a lot of what she said in Season 6 about the fact that she could never love him because he was monster. 

Mkay, I’m not saying much about this one, even though it’s an important one for Buffy what with the admitting how she feels/could feel about Spike and how she treated him before and pretty much everything bad about their relationship.

I really do appreciate that Buffy is more self aware at this point in the series (even though she gets cocky and bossy later on). It makes me like Buffy as a character a lot more. In seasons prior, I found it really hard to like her as much as I should like a main character. In Season 4, she was too reserved when it came to college and Riley; in Season 5, I didn’t like the whole “mom” thing going on with Dawn; in Season 6, she was a total bitch to Spike for the majority of the time. Season 7, though, I can appreciate all of that and where it brought her. 

I also really like that she admits out loud to herself that the way she treated Spike was awful, but also that she shouldn’t of let it happen in the first place. Now, I’m mostly happy that it happened, but for Buffy’s well being and state of mind, it really shouldn’t have (although I’m sure with Spike to talk to, some of her pain was lessened at least).  

So, she knew Spike really did love her. She knows now that she acted the way she did because she didn’t want to be loved. That is good character development right there. K, we’re done here. Moving on.

Dude, how damn strong is the First that it can make Spike kill but the pain from the chip doesn’t snap him out of it? Christ. All I’m gonna say about the scene above is: holy shit, can you fucking see how much she cares about Spike? She’s fighting with herself so much on what to believe. On the barest level, yeah, Spike is William the Bloody. He could kill people again if he wanted to. But realistically? Nope. Not Spike. He wouldn’t. Couldn’t. And not just because of the chip. I love that about this scene.

Quick sidebar about it: when Buffy asks how his night was (obviously to see if he’d be all lol, I ate a girl), Spike looked so freaking happy that she was talking to him about something so normal.

Aw, man this scene is gold. This is another one of those ones that I’ve basically got memorized. Buffy is trying so hard to be the old, hard-ass Buffy. But, like, she so can’t because she knows that Spike didn’t do it. 

It’s very sad that Spike doesn’t remember any of it, but that’s a whole other thing. The way he defends himself by saying he couldn’t of killed anyone because of his soul is so damn cool. Of course, in the next episode, Buffy tells him that it isn’t just his soul but the fact that he’s a good man that keeps him from hurting anyone. 

Spike calling Buffy out about being jealous…oooo. I didn’t think that she was jealous at first, but after watching it back 2,000 times, I started to see it. I don’t think she was jealous before he brought it up, but when he did, she had the fleeting wh-no! I’m not jealous, please! thought. Which is totally a lie. 

If Spike is always right, and you know it, clap your hands *clap* *clap*. But honestly. I like his roundabout way of telling her he still loves her. I’ve said this in posts before, but I don’t think Spike wanted to tell her he still loved her. I think he wanted to try to stop using that as a way of convincing Buffy. He just wanted her to know he’d changed. No matter what that meant for the two of them because his goal this season was definitely not to get her back.

Spike being so defensive about the killing is pretty sad. He’s so scared that he did do it. And then it escalated to horror when he realizes he did. And then he calls Buffy for help, aw.

Spike’s trigger song is kind of pretty, yeah? Maybe it’s just because James was singing it. It’s worth noting here that Buffy wasn’t trying to hurt Spike, she was trying to snap him out of it. Even before she fully understood that something was messing with him. 

I always appreciate Spike’s vamp face, don’t you? Wasn’t the moment he licked the blood from Buffy’s arm almost…sensual? I guess for a vampire, blood is sensual, but it’s just a very interesting few seconds to me. Especially because the taste of Buffy’s blood specifically seemed to jog his memory of the killings.

In case you haven’t been able to tell by my choppy writing, I’m watching these scenes as I’m typing so it’s probably a little confusing as to what part I’m on. Sorry about that. 

So, we’re in the cellar, after the fighting and the “sorry, ma’am, but it’s my job.” Listen to me. Someone as large and in charge as Spike/James should not be allowed to look that small. The same deal happens in the scene after when he’s wrapped up in the blanket in Buffy’s house. It’s so fucking heartbreaking to see. That’s the sign of a good actor, right there. Damn.

The pain in Spike’s expression, his eyes, his face. Holy hell. He thinks Buffy is definitely going to kill him and he wants it. He’s not just okay with it, he’s not just understanding in why she has to do it, he wants it. His voice breaks, too, when he asks her to kill him quickly, when he talks about the song, and when he asks to forget. Just the sound of his voice is enough to make me cry.

I love that Buffy sort of tells Spike that he isn’t in pain because of the soul but because of whatever it is that’s messing with him (the First). And he asks her for help again. For the second time this episode. And she says she will again. Bitch. That’s…wow.

And here we see Buffy fighting so hard to help Spike. For her mission but also because she doesn’t want him to feel the pain he’s been feeling for so long. That’s very sweet. Also, I don’t know why, but Buffy feeding him is also very sweet to me. Maybe it’s because you can see it in her eyes, that she’s scared for him and that she wants to help him.

So, when Spike says (in answer to Buffy asking him how he got his soul back) that he “saw a man about a girl,” I feel like this is a really important moment for Buffy. Why, you ask, it’s only one line? Well, because, usually when Spike says he’s done something for her or because of her or any time he shows affection for her at all, Buffy takes the whole revulsion approach. But she didn’t this time. Instead what she showed on her face was, dare I say, guilt. Guilt that the reason for Spike’s guilt is because of her, because she’s why he got his soul. She does the same thing when he explains that he went through torture to get his soul back.

And. Here. We. Finally. Have. Spike. Confronting. Buffy. About. How. Shit. She. Treated. Him. We’ve seen how badly Spike feels about the attempted rape, Buffy confronted him about it. And now, here, we flip it around. Spike gets a chance to tell her that he understands why she did it, although it still hurt him. 

Here’s the thing: Spike is generally right about most stuff. And I think he pegged Buffy pretty well in this scene…but not the current Buffy. He pegged the Buffy from Season 6. Of course, in the basement later, she corrects him on that, but yeah. Spike says he hates himself, Buffy has that guilty look again.

Okay. Okay. Okayokayokay. I love this scene.

First of all, Buffy cleaning up Spike, love that. I mean, it isn’t his blood, but still. Unless it was from her kicking him in the face. Anyway.

Can you imagine how pleased Spike probably ended up being with himself that he bit Andrew? Like, after he figured out how annoying Andrew was (I love Andrew, but you know what I mean)? Every time Andrew brought up their road trip or tried to play 20 questions with him, I bet Spike thought at least I got to bite you. 

Good guys being martyrs and trying to put themselves in the ground are my weakness. Spike telling Buffy to kill him is ugh! 

It’s a really interesting piece, though, coupled with Spike telling Buffy how horrible he’d been in the past. Initially, I thought that Spike trying to rape Buffy was a freak thing, so to speak, that he wouldn’t of done it with Dru or any time before that. Now, though, I’m not so sure. In this scene, when he tells Buffy she got off easy, I assume that’s what he’s talking about right? Because when he says the thing about him damaging a girl just enough so that she’ll still cry when he- And he cuts himself off? He was going to say when you rape them, right? From a story standpoint, that’s very interesting to me. I don’t know if it’s because I find rape so vile or what it is, but I just didn’t think William the Bloody or even Angelus would do that to someone. The way James and David played those characters, I guess I just assumed that rape wouldn’t be something they’d do.

And the whole time Spike is trying to anger Buffy enough so that she’ll kill him, she’s telling him that he is not that bad man anymore. That he’s worth saving (like that Fred reference I just threw in there?). 

When Spike says “it’s not love” in reference to why Buffy hasn’t killed him, I have a theory. Buffy told him it was because he fought by her side because, for one that’s true, but also because she figured that’s the only way he’d listen to her. But I think that when he said “it’s not love,” Buffy though to herself not yet. Just my opinion, but if she did? Dayum.

Then Spike pegs Season 6 Buffy again, and she corrects him, like I said earlier. It’s nice to know that Buffy’s grown so much so that she doesn’t need to hate to do her job. 

These lines right here, I love them. “You faced the monster inside of you, and you fought back. You risked everything to be a better man. And you can be. You are. You may not see it, but I do. I do. I believe in you, Spike.” It’s not an I love you, but isn’t it almost better? Buffy had never said anything like this to him in the past. It is such a huge deal that she’s not only saying it to give confidence to Spike, but because she really believes it. And Spike. Oh, Spike. As soon as she said she believes in him, he got this look of almost confusion on his face that turned to…well, the only way I can describe it is that he was glowing. Hearing that from Buffy of all people made him believe in himself. Beautiful, beautiful moment.  

These next two episodes are gonna go by pretty fast because there’s not a whole lot of Spuffy (which is why we’re here). I don’t know where, but I’m pretty sure at some point Buffy expresses the need to find Spike. Which is important because, for example, in Season 5 when Glory kidnapped him, Buffy expressed the need to find him…but only because she didn’t want him to tell Glory that Dawn was the key. This season, she wants to find Spike because she wants Spike back. Needs him back. She doesn’t want him to die. How amazing is that?

So, the main thing with this episode, obviously, is that Spike isn’t giving into the First because Buffy believes in him. Do you realize how powerful that is? He’s fighting to be good, one of the hardest things he’s ever had to do, and the thing that’s making it easy for him is Buffy. That’s incredible.

As if it wasn’t enough that Spike is being tortured, now he’s fighting to believe that Buffy cares enough to come for him. OH MY GOD, how sad. Of course, the First is making him doubt it more than he normally would, but Spike is faced with something here that he hasn’t addressed yet this season: how does Buffy feel about me? Surely he’s thinking to himself that after all he’s done, she’d be crazy to risk her life to save him. But he’s also hoping that since she believes in him, since she saw his change, she’ll come anyway.

And then she does. And Spike is so happy it makes my heart hurt. Jesus, his face when he realizes it’s really Buffy is something I’ll never forget. I don’t know if I’d say he got to a point that he didn’t believe she’d come for him, but when he saw her…he lit up. Relief and love and joy all bubbled up inside of him. His face was absolutely beautiful in that moment. And Buffy. Seeing how happy he was to see her, the love and elation behind his eyes. It’s a hell of a thing, with two people, when you can be happy just because the other person is happy. 

Their hands. This is such a sweet moment. All of it. Buffy being concerned, Spike being a gentleman, Buffy running her hands down his chest, their hands touching and the eye thing they do. I wanna cry tears of love. I wish I knew how to say more about it, but it’s just so serene and beautiful that all I can do is let it speak for itself.

I just want to say one thing about this moment here and the scene prior (in the demon bar). It’s very, very nice that they’re in a place that they can look back on the memories of them fighting together and being together in a positive way. The vitriol and toxicity forgotten. 

So, first off, they’re having a normal conversation. Which is, like, what? Spike saying that Buffy keeps him safe mirrors what he said earlier in the season when he wanted her to help him be quiet. I don’t know how to explain exactly why this is such a big deal to me, but it is. Maybe it’s because he depends on her or because he wouldn’t have been able to kick the First’s influence without her or what, but the fact that she affects him so much is really powerful to me. Also, is it not super adorable that Spike and Buffy are like Mom and Dad to the potentials?

I’m gonna go ahead and talk about the chip removal now instead of sticking a picture in here because I think I’ve overloaded you with pictures for the last couple episodes. I really love how the entirety of Buffy’s storyline this episode is figuring out how to help Spike. I love, too, how the show pitched it at the end like will she remove the chip or not, does she really trust him enough? As if it’s not obvious already that, duh, she does. That doesn’t make it any less of an important choice, though. Not because well, what if he goes back to being bad. Because he won’t. It’s important because it not only tells us that Buffy trusts Spike enough, it tells Spike that, too. 

In this scene, Buffy stands up to Giles about Spike. Giles. Her father figure. The one she’s looked up to for seven years. She makes the same argument she’s been making to everyone else, about Spike having a soul. But not only that, she vouches for him being a good man, but only if they give him the chance. That’s sort of a new concept for her. Essentially, she’s putting responsibility on herself and everyone else to help Spike be better. That’s pretty cool. And the fact that now, all of a sudden (or rather, after her newly found faith in Spike), she considers the chip to be an act of evil. Like, what? Literally, ever since he got the chip, she’s been saying that it’s like God’s gift. Which, for Season 4 (maybe a little Season 5) Spike, that was true. 

It’s strange because she could’ve said since he has a soul, he doesn’t need the chip. That would make it Spike’s responsibility to be better. But she didn’t say that. She said that it was evil fighting evil. Which puts the blame on them. It’s quite a nice show of her feelings for him.

“You look nice” he says. You know he’s thinking holy hell, she’s beautiful. And she’s trying to spare his feelings about the date (but also, is it just me, or does she not totally see it as a date? Because maybe Wood isn’t the one she really wants?) And Spike is a gentleman, again, of course. Which, to me, it looks like Buffy is just a little disappointed that he’s not jealous. Maybe jealous is the wrong word, but she seems to want him to still want to be with her. Does that make sense? Added on to that, or on the other hand, she is also genuinely grateful that he’s stepping back. And then Spike says that some girls like bad boys and that prompts them to remember that they still have the hots for each other, which is good. And Buffy leaves, Spike looks sad because, big shocker, he does still want her and he’s sad he’s losing her.

I was going to skip this moment, but I couldn’t. Look at his face. You know when you’re watching a movie or something and the guy the girl is supposed to be with steps back to let her be happy with someone else, but then they have a moment where he looks at her and his face says God, I love you. Even though I can’t be with you, I love you more than anything in the world. That’s what his face says. And Buffy’s face is saying I didn’t know I could have these feelings for him, but then…how come I am?

Isn’t this episode supposed to be about Wood? There sure is a lot of Spuffy to go around. So, Buffy telling Spike she’s not ready for him to not be there. It’s such a simple scene, but so much comes out of it. Spike is still trying to remove himself because he still, deep down, doesn’t think he deserves to be as happy as he is when he’s with Buffy. Buffy tells him he has to stay. Now, think about that. If she was talking about needing him as a fighter, that would make sense. You have to stay because you’re our best warrior. But she said he has to stay because she needs him. I know they taught us this in elementary school, but “want” and “need” are two very different things. To need is to have to have something because it is essential to you. As in you can’t live without. To tell him he has to stay has such deep meaning. 

And when Spike says the thing about her not needing him because Wood is a demon fighter, Buffy doesn’t say well, yeah, I need you here for that, too, but… blah blah blah. She completely disregards the idea that Spike is there just to be another body. Instead she tells him he has to stay because she’s not ready to let him go. And the way Spike looks at her. It’s like he’s just realized that she might actually feel something more for him. That’s such a surprising notion to him. God, I love this scene. 

So, here’s the thing I love about this scene: the old Spike. Not at first, because when Buffy tells Spike she’s showing Wood the operation, he’s very polite about how it’s a good idea because Wood’s a good fighter, blah blah. But, oh, when dear ol’ Spike gets jealous. I don’t dislike it, in fact, I like it a lot. Because it’s not really the old Spike in sense of the dangerous one, it’s the old Spike in the sense of his personality. For the most part, that’s always a good thing. I mean it’s pretty obvious, but he’s more sarcastic in this scene, he throws in a sexual innuendo, he does the whole macho man thing. It’s great. Also, I like the little nod to Angel with the I’ve got a soul, so now I’m unique…mostly.

Alright, I get that Buffy is trying to make herself “big” for the potentials and the Scoobies, but what she said to Spike was unnecessary. I am proud of him, though, for not biting back the way he normally would. I mean, he argued with her, but he didn’t try to hurt her with what he was saying. 

Literally, this scene was so out of the blue. It shocked me when I watched it because, before this (within the episode), Buffy had no issues with Spike at all. She literally just started something to look tough.

Spike has the right to be confused as hell. And hurt. Basically, she’s making him think that she doesn’t appreciate what he did in getting his soul. That the consequences of him being a better man are that he got soft. Which is bullshit because she doesn’t want the old Spike back. One thing she said that was true was that she was no where near the old Spike. Which isn’t a bad thing at all. And I think Spike knows that, but can you imagine going through so much suffering for someone you love only to have it thrown back in your face? That doesn’t piss you off, it breaks you.

All that being said, I do think that Spike wasn’t being as fierce as he had been in the past. I think he was doing all he could after the First and the soul, so he wasn’t holding back, but I think he was a little afraid to be a badass again. Whether that’s because he thought he’d lose Buffy or because he thought he’d fall back to his old ways, I don’t know. But, I’ll tell you what, when he put that coat back on, he was ready for some fucking action. I think he realized that he could keep that piece of himself, the fighter, and still be the good man he wanted to be.  

No Spuffy in episode 16, but here, have this extremely strange photo instead. 

Okay, here we are with another Spike-centric episode. In this scene, Giles sticks that wormy thing in Spike’s head to suss out what his trigger is. So, I understand why Giles is wary of Spike, but also, like, leave my baby alone! I’m happy, though, that Giles decided to help Spike (even if it was just because Buffy wouldn’t let him do anything else) instead of killing him.

SIKE because he didn’t try to help Spike at all in this episode, he was 100% trying to kill him. But this isn’t about Giles.

I like the little moment we get (after the wormy thing crawls into Spike’s brain, when he loudly exclaimed ow!) where Buffy is worried about Spike. I mean, of course, at this point we know she cares for him, but to see her be worried about his well being like that is adorable. 

Now, after the flashback with horrible poetry, Spike is all defensive and closed off. Of course, after what he remembered. My favorite fucking set of lines from this episode is when Spike says “Get these sodding things off me, I’m fine!” and then Buffy says “Don’t you think you should take a little time, calm down?” and then Spike goes “I am calm.” It’s just so damn hilarious to me for some reason. Know what else is funny is that Spike is so embarrassed about talking about his mother and when he was a baby, as if it’s inherently embarrassing to have even been a baby in the first place. But, for real, can you imagine a little baby Spike? So cute.

And then Buffy stands up to Giles again on Spike’s behalf. Although, granted, Giles is sort of right and Buffy’s judgement is a little clouded, but it’s still sweet okay?

Taking a break from Spuffy for a minute to talk about Spike. The block of time when he’s trapped with Wood provides us with a hell of a lot of information. Other than the flashbacks, of course. So, obviously, what Wood has done to Spike here is extremely unfair. And Wood knows on some level that the Spike that killed his mother is not the same one that’s standing in front of him. That’s why he plays the trigger song. 

But, it’s still a really shitty thing to do because he’s not just killing the “animal,” he’s killing a good man. Just because he chooses not to see it, doesn’t mean it isn’t true. 

Now, in my opinion, Spike took a bit of a dip in this scene as far as morals go. I do think that Wood deserved to get the shit beaten out of him, and I do think that Spike was justified in telling Wood off about the whole “that’s how the game is played” thing. But I don’t really think Spike should’ve said the things he said about Wood’s mother. Mostly because we know ensouled Spike. We know he feels like shit for doing the things he did in the past. I think the reason he said those things about Wood’s mom is because he wanted to hurt Wood emotionally, at least slightly. Which is a regression to the old Spike, and not a good part of him, either. I understand why he did it, but he went just a little too far here.

Dude, when Buffy first looks around that room (with the crosses everywhere), she looks genuinely pissed. As well she should. At first, I was little disappointed that Buffy defended Spike on the grounds that he’s a good warrior, but now I realize that she probably did that because “combat-talk” would be the only way she had even a slight hope of making Wood understand. I don’t think she threatened him for any other reason besides what she said about not having time for vendettas, but I’d like to pretend that she did it to say if you fucking touch my love again, I will kill you myself.

I do appreciate how she said that the Spike that killed his mother didn’t exist anymore. It is sort of sad that all of this broke her relationship with Giles, but honestly, what was he expecting?

Ding, ding, ding. I’ve got an unpopular opinion: I don’t really care for Faith. To be fair, I didn’t watch Angel (other than the Spike bits), but I just don’t really like her being around. I remember when she was the “big bad” she pissed me off so much. Like to a point where I couldn’t enjoy the show. It’s different when an antagonist makes you mad, but you can still appreciate them as a character compared to when you literally can’t watch the show because you can’t stand the character. I recognize that she’s good now, but I guess I just don’t like her attitude. I know, I know. That’ll get me some backlash. But I need to preface with that in case I bitch about her later.

Okay, back to the show. When Spike and Faith meet for the first time (the second time, really, but you know), it’s pretty funny. Especially because of Spike’s annoyance at being compared with Angel. That’ll never get old. One thing I will say is that I like how (and I know they did this on purpose) Faith and Buffy as well as Spike and Angel are opposites…but opposites that are a lot alike. You know? And originally, Spike and Faith would be more alike, just like Buffy and Angel were more alike, but now it’s flip flopped. I dunno. Kinda cool. Moving on.

Jesus Christ, the flirting pisses me off so much. I know that Spike wouldn’t go for Faith since he’s in love with Buffy and always will be, but it’s just annoying as hell to me. Faith’s personality is very showy. I think it’s mostly who she actually is, but she always gives off this sort of fake, “I’m trying to be badass and cool” vibe. Maybe that’s why I don’t like her. Anyway, when she was down in the basement talking to Spike, Spike mirrored her attitude, and I didn’t like it at all. Like, when he was talking about having sex with Buffy, he turned into a stereotypical douche bag. I can’t explain it well, but I hated them interacting with each other. It felt really out of place for the episode, the season, and Spike’s character. I liked the nod to Season 6 Spuffy, though, what with the Spike being amazed with good Buffy is in bed and all.

The reason this scene is important is this right here: Buffy is jealous. Like, of another girl with Spike. What? That never fucking happens. Also, she was totally coming down there to hang out with Spike. There wasn’t any news to tell him, she was 100% just going down there to be with him. Don’t worry, Buffy. I’d be pissy, too. I’m glad they shut that shit down after this episode, though.

I totally forgot about this scene in this episode, otherwise I would’ve skipped over it. Just one main thing to say about Buffy defending Spike to Giles again. The way she says that Spike is the only one that’s watching her back mirrors Season 6 Spuffy really nicely. Because in Season 6, of course, she felt like the only one she could be honest with was Spike. Granted, that turned out horribly, but here it ends up beautifully. 

Good God, this episode means so much. The last three of the series, really. Okay, so Spike is blowing up on a room full of people (that could kill him) for Buffy. Honestly, the group was a little bit justified in what they did. You know, because Buffy was getting out of control. They probably would’ve done better to sit Buffy down and talk about it rather than vote her off the island, though. That thing Buffy said in the previous episode? About the whole Spike being the only one to have her back thing? Well…looks like she was right. God, the things he says about her. You can tell so well how much he loves her and respects her. And the thing is, if Faith wasn’t there to challenge him, he would’ve gotten through to them. Go back and watch that scene and look at the shame on everyone’s faces. It’s good.

And then he and Faith beat on each other and Spike literally sniffs Buffy out and goes to find her. Vampires, man.

I’m gonna talk about the rest of the Spuffy in one fell swoop instead of breaking it up into scenes because, holy shit, that’ll take a lot of time and I’m tired.

When Spike finds her in the house, he’s legitimately so damn excited to tell Buffy about Caleb and the vineyard. It’s mucho adorable. And he’s still totally on her side even when she isn’t (like when Buffy told Spike she believed in him). He tells her that it’s chaos without her just because he thinks that’ll help. It’s SO FUCKING CUTE. Tell you what did help, though, Spike telling Buffy he hit Faith. And as soon as she was like “Really?” Spike went oh, will that help? Hell, I’ll kill the bitch if it’ll make you happy. It’s funny in a sweet way. I guess it needed to be to precursor “the talk.”

So, this talk mirrors the one from “Never Leave Me” almost exactly. Buffy gives the long “I hate myself” speech and Spike gives her her confidence back. I’m gonna break it down more than that, obviously. This is, after all, one of my favorite scenes. Buffy is basically ragging on herself for cutting people off, but she projects that onto the current “her,” which is not the same as the old her (Season 6 Buffy). She did cut off her family of fighters, but her growth from Season 6 to 7 is freaking amazing. Which is why Spike jumps in after she says he only wanted her because she was “unattainable.”

Buffy says “Stage is yours. Tear me up.” And he fucking did, yo. Before I talk about what Spike says, I want to emphasize the importance of the fact that Buffy is listening to him. I’ve said it before, but usually when Spike says something affectionate, she tunes it out. Can you say “character development”? And also, this is the very first time Spike not only tells Buffy that he loves her, but also why he loves her. Okay, let’s get into it.

I’m starting kind of in the middle here with the “100 plus years, and there’s only one thing I’ve ever been sure of: you.” 100+ years. Dude, that’s a long time of not being sure of anything. Buffy breaking through that mold is such a meaningful thing. And (praise for Sarah) Buffy’s eyes twitch because she’s about to cry. Because Spike telling her how much she means to him really touches her (and the episode’s title is “Touched,” how ironic). Buffy never had that reaction when it came to Spike before this. You can tell how much what he’s saying means to her by just looking in her eyes during this scene. Spike saying he’s not asking her for anything sort of drives in the already pretty clear point that he’s not saying any of this for him, he’s doing it because he believes in Buffy and wants her to believe in herself. Totally selfless. And then what he says about her being “a hell of a woman” is just so beautiful. Spike saying she’s “the one” has two meanings, right. First, Buffy is the chosen one, of course. The Slayer. But she’s also the one for him. The only one he’ll ever truly love. Naturally, Buffy says “I don’t wanna be the one” in reference to the Slayer thing, but Spike brings it home with some good ol’ fashioned humor.

Buffy asks Spike to stay with her. My head is spinning, that’s so huge. She’s looking at him with such love and beauty. And Spike, being the gentleman that he is, is prepared to sleep on the “comfy chair.” But when Buffy asks him to hold her…no hesitation, Spike goes to her. He doesn’t do it for him, he does it for her. He’s completely there with her, for her in this moment. He doesn’t want to think of this night as the best night of his life because he wants to give all of himself to Buffy.

The two of them being the only ones in the “love montage” that weren’t having sex just makes it so much more impactful. They’ve already had their time to be physical, but they never got the chance to be intimate. The fact that they finally get to here is transcendent.

And when she wakes up in the morning, Buffy looks at him with such wonder. She smiles, very slightly, thinking about all he’s given her and how amazing he’s become. How fucking beautiful is that?

The talk. In the kitchen. Oh my God. First off, Spike is trying to make the previous night less of a big deal because he’s used to Buffy responding that way and he thinks that’s what she wants from him (plus, he probably did it so it wouldn’t hurt so much if she said it). 

But Buffy looks so saddened that it didn’t mean more to him (or so she thinks). She tries to brush it off for the same reason Spike does.

Dude, when Spike walked out, I was so concerned that they were going to leave it at that. But, oh no. Buffy was having none of it. Quick note: the fact Buffy is the one doing the you mean a lot to me, tell me I mean a lot to you thing? Damn.

So, Spike is obviously really surprised that what he said to Buffy impacted her that much. And him telling her he’s terrified–of loving her, of letting himself get close, of being this happy–that’s so powerful. He looks at Buffy like she’s his whole world, which she is to him. Then he tells her it was the best night of his life (100+ years of it). I think he was hesitant to say anything because, for one he’s not mushy gushy, but also because (like I said earlier) he didn’t want to talk about him. He wanted that to be for Buffy. But this makes it about the both of them together, and that inevitably brings them closer. 

Let’s talk about facial expressions that are important to me with this scene. Buffy’s face when Spike tells her it was the best night of his life: elation, love, amazement. Spike’s face when Buffy tells him he doesn’t have to be terrified/when she says she was there with him: relief, joy, awe. Okay, we’ve got to move on, even though I’m crying all of a sudden. Dear, I wonder why.

It’s the final episode. Holy shit. Aaand Angel’s back. That’s fine, we like Angel. Angel is a good guy. 

The way Buffy tells him about Spike is one of my favorite things ever. I mean, she’s so mature and kind about it. At first, it’s funny because Angel is totally confused and jealous about Buffy and Spike. Which, you know, understandable. Last Angel checked, Spike was a miserable jackass. And Buffy doesn’t deny that she’s in love with him. And she says Spike is “in my heart.” Whaaa. And she basically refers to him as her boyfriend before saying he isn’t, but…I dunno, I’d say if the world wasn’t ending…they’d probably be pretty close to together by now. I guess they are anyway, but still. 

The thing I like about this scene is that usually, in the past, when Buffy sees Angel (after not having seen him for a while) they kiss and love on each other and basically pretend they’re a couple when they’re together. 

But the way she feels about Spike is enough to counter that. Not in the way that it did with Riley. With Riley, it was more about loyalty. Like, she couldn’t do the thing with Angel because she was dating someone else. With Spike, it’s about Buffy saying she isn’t in love with Angel (to be fair, I don’t think Angel is really in love with Buffy anymore either) but she thinks she could be in love with Spike. So, she and Angel can’t do the thing because her heart belongs to someone else. Yeah. Whoa. 

The “baking” thing, I don’t know that I like that analogy. Aside from the fact that it’s a funny thing to reference when talking about Buffy and Spike vs Buffy and Angel.

This scene is so damn beautiful. Spike being jealous of Angel in the way he’s jealous of Angel is great. He’s not angry or bitter, he’s terrified that he’ll lose this one, beautiful girl. The only one he’ll ever really love. The one that saved him. Buffy. 

And then Buffy calls Spike a “champion,” and I’m telling you, I’ve never seen anyone’s face glow as much as Spike’s in that moment. Buffy, too, is trying to convey with her eyes how much he means to her. I’m so, so happy they spent that last night together. I’m not going to say anything about the lovely looks or the cuddling because it’s so amazing on its own.

The scene that will make everyone cry for the rest of eternity. The fire hand thing. The fact that Spike and Buffy’s love is strong enough to do that? Sure, it could’ve been because Spike was a ball of fire at the time, but you know that’s not what it really is. 

Buffy fell in love with him the second their hands touched. I believe she had been in love with him for a while before this moment, but she didn’t realize it until it hit her: she’s going to lose him. But Spike doesn’t fucking believe her. That’s so damn sad. I’m glad, though, that it gave him the peace he needed as he died.

For me, Buffy’s last words in the series being “Spike,” are totally justified. Spike went through an enormous arc and ended up being a pinnacle character to the show. I think a lot of people still see him as a secondary character, but really he’s become so much more, to Buffy and to the show. So, I think Spike deserved to be the last word to come from Buffy’s mouth.

Okay, I’m gonna do some general thoughts and opinions/closing statements here.

The first thing I want to point out is Spike’s appearance this season. No black nails, no dark lash line. Much less villainous. Now, realistically, I know that James had been keeping weight off from the time he got on the show up through Season 6 because he said that the vampires that “made it,” so to speak, were super thin (because, like, they’re dead). But after Season 6, Joss was like “Bro, eat something” and so James gained a little back. So it wasn’t intentional, but what it did was symbolize the change in Spike from no soul to soul. How he wasn’t all hard edges and bad boyish anymore. That’s kind of cool.

The other two things I want to talk about is Spike and Buffy’s maturity. It’s insane the amount of change the both of them went through just between Seasons 6 and 7. 

So, Buffy. She’s in a much better place with herself than she was in Season 6. This is very good. It’s just such a cool thing to watch her grow. Where she ended up at the end of the series, especially with Spike, was as a very mature and put together person.

With Spike, it’s the same thing. The soul made him be a lot more honest with himself. Which helped him grow. I mean, you can tell easily with his dialogue this season. It’s much more mature. And where he ended up was at peace. With himself, with Buffy. It’s quite beautiful.

Alright, that’s it for this post. Did you make it? You should totally tell me if you did. This is too long, I realize that, but I worked very hard on it and I’m pretty proud of it to be honest. Even edited the pictures and everything. 

Spuffy means so much to me as I know it does to other people out there. I just wanted to discuss my favorite season for Buffy and Spike. They’ve given me warmth and light and joy, and it’s something I’ll never let go. So thank you, Spuffy, for giving me hope.             

Let’s be real.
Aka: So You Think The 14-17 Year Old Girl Paired With An Ageless/Centuries Old Male Trope Is New And Inherently Bad & You Wanna Start a Riot

X - Elisabeth (Musical). Sissi is 15 when she falls in love with the literal personification of Death. As in, old as life itself. You don’t want me to tell you how many fics there are on the German fanfic sites I know. By the way, the real Empress Elisabeth was about 16 when married to 23 year old Franz.

X - Labyrinth. Sarah’s what, 15? David Bo- I mean, Jareth is centuries old when he falls in love with her. Pretty sure 97% of all fanfics for that particular tale involve romance/love, twisted or otherwise. Most all with Sarah aged up. Also read the damn book. Those budding feelings are canon, baby.

X - Repo! Confirmed by Terrance, not confirmed… we all know Graves was a nosy show off who took a shine to that kid, and she followed. Now, Shilo is 17 so that makes the fanfiction a little less creepy. Then again, Graves is still a lot older, and it is Repo!

X. Phantom. Christine is…. Doesn’t really matter, middle-aged Phantom fell in love with her as a child (okay, okay it developed as she aged). Creepy? Well, I don’t think anyone can argue that. But the romance lives on. And on FF, it really lives on. Also in multiple published fan sequels. And various movies.

X. Beetlejuice. Continuing my march on that side of the internet. Lydia, teen. Beetlejuice, centuries. While most fics like to mesh the film with its more relationship-line crossing cartoon counterpart, this pairing can still be all kinds of odd. Again, with this one we mostly adhere to the age-up-the-teen rule.

X. Drop Dead Fred. So your favorite (centuries old) imaginary friend when you’re like, 7, if we’re being generous, kisses you when you’re in your 20s. Also, canon meet fandom.

X. Whistle Down The Wind (Musical). Blame ALW for this one too. Swallow is 15 when the convict (early 30s?) falls for her. It’s tragic. Also he’s kind of Jesus? Idk the lines blur a lot when you take the whole plot into consideration. Also the book and the movie play with who is enamored by who and the ages…. Essentially though, yeah.

X. Buffy The Vampire Slayer. Buffy was what, 16? When she and Angel dated? Angel is what? 200+? Buffy later is with Spike? We’re talking centuries of difference. Again.

X. Legend. Lily wasn’t that old when Tim Cu- I mean Darkness seduces her.

X. Greek Mythology. Yeah Persephone? “Edge of womanhood” back then was around 14-16. Hades? Let’s not count. 

Not to mention Twilight, because though it’s a regret, it did happen. So did most of the YA Fantasy section of your local bookstore.

Face it, for a lot of young women, naive and searching, reading relationships like these…. It makes a safe way to explore their minds/wants/desires/genders/identities, without getting hurt or getting in over their heads. Is it practical to go out and hit on a guy two times your age when you’re 14-17? Heck no. But that’s what fiction is for*
(*even though all fiction has flaws and you still should be selective -cough- Twilight -cough-)

But I’ve never encountered a problem with these narratives before now. Why?

Because in old fairytales, there was usually a young girl and an older male. Danger, trepidation, coming-of-age, first steps into womanhood, sometimes care and love (I’ll spare you my Little Red and Erl King rants. And Valerie’s Week of Wonders. Hello).

So for the love of the goddess, if you wanna ship the damn thing, ship it. Be respectful of their ages / age difference. If it’s comfortable, embrace it. I’m not advocating underage sex (because also sex =/= romance), but build a relationship (just try to downplay the creepy). Make them friends. Make them enemies. Make them learn. Age them up. Age one down. Put a curse on one. Introduce conflict. Put it in an AU. Make them queer. Make them not. I don’t really care.

Percival and Credence is romanticizing literal abuse, do not pass go. 
Scar trying to get Nala in the musical is creepy. Esmeralda and Frollo also creep me the F#$% out. While Moana and Maui, really don’t.

So quit putting negative rants in the Maui, and Moana, tags (ha, hypocrisy). You’re welcome.

I feel like many of the Spike fans understand his mentality and why he acted the way he did towards Buffy in season 5&6. Spike was a demon for hundreds of years. He didn’t know right from wrong. He was in love with Drusilla a sick, crazy, disgusting love. They tortured together, loved and hated together. So when he started to love Buffy he fell back into that routine thinking that behavior was fine and that’s how to show love. The attempted rape was his wake-up call. I often wonder if people realize that or just to choose to ignore it.

anonymous asked:

Hi, I read a post where you mention that you were aware of spoilers during the last seasons of Buffy, if I remember correctly you said, that Joss&Co weren't happy of the Spuffy shipping in S6, but in S7 they definitly play with the idea of Spuffy, do you know why they decided to do this, or if it was just fanservice?also, have you heard anything of why the writers of s10 decided make Spuffy canon? is just that i'm disapointed that B never told S that she love him and now they are supposedly over

OK, this gets complicated.

Yes, during S6 and 7, I was friends with people who had access to scripts and sometimes (rarely) writer’s notes early.  There were also a lot of interviews with the writers published while S6 and s7 were airing, and there was a radio show, The Succubus Club, which regularly featured BtVS and AtS writers to discuss the episode which had just aired.  And lastly, several of the writers (Jane Espenson in particular) did a number of Buffy Q&As at various conventions and writer’s groups.

You have to keep in mind a couple of things here: One, this was all fifteen years ago, and the relevant interviews are no longer available on the net, if they ever were in the first place.  Take anything I say with a grain of salt; it’s only my possibly inaccurate interpretation.  Two, the writers themselves disagreed on a lot of things, so their statements about the characters often contradicted each other.  There was one Succubus Club show I remember in particular where Drew Goddard and David Fury were discussing Spike’s motivations, and it was obvious that Goddard was of the opinion that even an evil vampire could choose to do good things even if he couldn’t be ‘good’ in an absolute sense, while Fury was visibly struggling to reconcile Spike’s actions with his own belief that evil vampires could only do evil things, finally coming up with a Spike-exceptionalism theory that Spike must have kept part of his soul or something like that.  It was fascinating to realize that the writers had the exact same sort of arguments that we do, and Joss never seems to have felt the need to sit down and codify or clarify any of this stuff.

Thirdly, the writers will cheerfully change their message depending on what story or character agenda they’re pushing at the time.  And the story or character agenda they’re pushing can change in the course of a season.  So you’ve got Marti Noxon interviews early in S6 where she seemed to be pushing Spuffy, and Marti Noxon later in the season saying stuff that seems anti-Spuffy.

There were two sets of leaked episode notes that I know of.  One was an outline of the episodes for the first half of the season.  From that, we know that Normal Again was originally supposed to be Episode #10, and  the turning point of Buffy’s depression.  Tara was supposed to die and the rest of the season would have been devoted to fighting Dark Willow.  That one is pretty straightforward.

The second set of notes is one I know much less about, because I missed the chat where the person who had it did their Q&A about it.  And it kills me, because I would give a kidney to see what they actually said.  This is the set that fractured the BAPS mailing list so badly.  It was a rough outline of the second half of S6, not broken into episodes so far as I know.  The only things I know for certain about it was that it said that Buffy and Spike would have an “S&M relationship,” and that by the end of the season, Spike would be “barely reformed.”  To the best of my knowledge, there was no mention of the attempted rape (which we know from an interview with Stephen DeKnight was a relatively late addition to his script by Marti Noxon to up the drama quotient of Spike’s conflict with Buffy), and no mention of the soul.

So keeping all that in mind, this is my interpretation, based on the interviews, notes, and other stuff:

Originally, Spike and Buffy’s relationship was only going to last into the middle of the season, and it wouldn’t get nearly as abusive and awful as it eventually did.  And I truly don’t think that the writers expected it to become a shipping juggernaut. So I think that in the beginning of the season, they pushed it in a sort of joking way.  The popularity of the ship caught them totally by surprise, and they were shocked that so much of the audience thought it would be perfectly OK for Buffy and Spike to be a real couple.  That’s when we started seeing interviews backing off the Spuffy.  And that’s about when Joss got cold feet about killing Tara, and kept pushing it back, and they had to do something, so they filled the plot holes with more Spuffy, which they made worse and worse in an attempt to make the audience go off the pairing.  The writers were again shocked that so much of the audience sympathized with Spike rather than Buffy, and their continuing attempts to make the audience react they way they felt that the audience ought to react culminated in the attempted rape.  

More writer’s interviews: Marti Noxon was visibly surprised when an interviewer compared Buffy beating Spike up to domestic abuse.  Spike was evil.  Why would anyone see him as a victim?   Buffy was supposed to be the victim.  Jane Espenson and Steve DeKnight argued against doing the attempted rape, but were overruled by Joss and Marti, who honestly didn’t seem to think it was that big a deal.  Once again, the writers severely misjudged the audience’s reaction.  Fandom melted down.  It didn’t help that they finally killed Tara in the same episode.  As I recall, ratings, which had been falling all season, plunged.  The show had just gotten too dark for an audience which had enough real-world darkness to deal with an a post 9-11 world.

I don’t know for sure when the writers decided that Spike would get a soul.  I also don’t know if they always intended for him to get it on purpose.  I wouldn’t be awfully surprised if they had left it up in the air til the last moment, and that’s why they didn’t tell JM what his character’s motivations were.  But I think it’s very likely that the enormous backlash to Seeing Red (which they would have been getting around about the time they were writing and filming “Grave”) influenced their decision.  After that, I think they felt that the only possible solution was for Spike to deliberately seek out a soul.

Once Spike got a soul, I think they were still up shit creek without a paddle.  They had never bothered to create the same kind of distance between souled and unsouled Spike that they’d always been careful to preserve between Angel and Angelus.  I think – and this is pure speculation on my part – that maybe Joss had wanted to do Spuffy for real in S7, but with the attempted rape, they wrote themselves into a corner.  No matter what, a huge part of the audience would always see souled Spike as the same guy who tried to rape Buffy, and putting Buffy together with Spike would be difficult.

(Now, I’m going to take a minute and say that it wouldn’t have been impossible, because the S10 comics FINALLY took the bull by the horns and addressed that problem, and did it in a sensitive and nuanced way.   But it definitely would have been hard, and in S7, I think the writers just wanted to hurry on past the whole issue as quickly as possible.)

But anyway –  at the same time… ratings were tanking, and Buffy/Spike shippers were one of the few groups of fans still grimly watching on.  So I think they tried to please everyone.  No real romantic relationship for Buffy and Spike, because that would be seen as anti-feminist.  But they kept teasing romance to keep the shippers watching.   And of course even though SMG had telegraphed her intention to quit when her contract was up, they were hoping not to be cancelled, and kept sneaking ideas for a revamped show or a spinoff into S7, which is one reason the plot is a mess.

So basically, I think the story of Spuffy was a story of the writers being at odds with the audience and to some extent with themselves, and Joss being distracted by Firefly, and things spinning out of control and being imperfectly patched up.  It’s notable that over on AtS, the widely hated Cordelia/Connor plotline was going on at the same time.

As for why the comics writers decided to do Spuffy in S10, I don’t know.  I don’t have any connections there.  Nor do I know for certain that it’s over between them there.  Probably, but nothing’s over till the Chirago demon sings, you know?

anonymous asked:

Hey Meg, I was wondering about your thoughts on Buffy/spike/angel. I always LOVED Angel but then he got his own tv show and it was ruined (my thoughts anyway). But then I loved Spike just as hardcore. Mind you I've only had one full watch all the way through of Buffy. But who did you ship way back when?? I am totally interested in your opinions :)

Hey anon!

OH BOY *cracks knuckles* Brace yourselves this is probably going to get long. Spoiler warning for a show that’s been off the air for longer than I care to think about.

Alright so, disclaimer, take all of this with a grain of salt, it’s been a minute since I’ve rewatched BtVS/Angel all the way through and every time I do my thoughts about different characters change slightly (aside from Buffy she is precious and I will fight bears for her, not that she needs me to).

The first time I watched Buffy (aka when it was airing because I am old) I was a lot more into Angel. I shipped it, cried for actual days over Becoming and the s3 finale broke my heart. I loved Angel, he was cool and mysterious and wore velvet blazers. He was great. Then I got a little bit older and when he’d come back or I rewatched, Angel around Buffy got on every single one of my nerves. He was obnoxiously cryptic, withheld useful information, was condescending af and considered his age a good enough reason to make decisions on Buffy’s behalf (when it’s not like he was being the most rational and mature around her like dude so much shit could’ve been avoided if you didn’t keep secrets because they were upsetting). Plus he wore velvet blazers, like what the fuck.

I actually liked him a lot better on Angel. I thought he regained some perspective on the world and how to deal with people and he fit waaaaaay better with Cordelia than he ever did with Buffy (DO NOT get me started on what that show did to Cordelia I will NEVER EVER EVER be over it). I also loooooved his dynamic with Spike in season 5 and wish we could’ve seen more of it. He even cracked jokes! They were often terrible jokes but bless his heart he tried. (Angel disclaimer: I am completely ignoring whatever the fuck season 4 was, that shit was some absolute nonsense)

Angel around Buffy was a mopey, overbearing pitbull type person and I really really hate when one half of a ship feels like they’re qualified to make decisions for the other. I also think there was an pedestal element to how he viewed Buffy and I don’t like that. He saw her as this perfect, golden salvation and that’s not really fair to her, she was a person. Plus, he fed her whole ‘I just want to be normal’ thing and while I get it, she wanted a life without death, darkness and demon guts, she wasn’t normal and it bothered me a lot that he pushed her to try and be instead of supporting her and helping her be a stronger, more content version of who she was. He lived his life with a mopey, the grass is always greener philosophy and encouraged her to do the same. When you’re a Slayer with a ridiculously short life expectancy, seems to me you should embrace what you have and enjoy it as much as possible (also, that paved the way for fucking Riley and GROSS. NO.)

Final personal verdict: Angel on BtVS was at his most interesting as Angelus and I kind of want to hit the souled version in the nose with a rolled up newspaper and tell him no pretty much constantly, Angel on his own show was dorky and endearing and I wanted to hug him a lot. To be clear, I don’t think Angel was a bad person, I think he was a messed up person trying his best and I think he and Buffy loved each other very much, but their ship dynamic doesn’t work for me.

Enter Spike. I loooooooved Spike from the moment he arrived. I think he was one of the most entertaining villains/characters on the show. He was snarky and hilarious and gave zero fucks except oh look he actually gave a lot of fucks, he just kept them hidden away. I adore characters with layers. I’m not entirely sure when I started shipping Buffy/Spike, but somewhere between the s2 finale and s4, I thought they’d be an awesome idea but I never thought the show would go there and when it started going there in s5, I pretty much entirely lost my shit and shifted into OTP mode.

Their relationship was SUPER messed up, I am in no way denying that, but they had the whole opposites attract thing going like WHOA and I generally feel like Spike was the only person in Buffy’s entire life who could see her in all her glory and accept anything she dropped on him (Tara came the second closest but the show did not explore their dynamic nearly enough and everyone else had this tendency to see who they wanted Buffy to be and get mad at her when she was her own person). I adore that they wouldn’t take each other’s shit and would be down to watch them snipe at each other forever. I also love that Spike encouraged Buffy to take joy from slaying, to embrace all the parts of herself. I love that once he committed to Team Buffy he was ALL IN. Part of that was his personality type, he did not know how to hold himself back ever, and part of that was he would do literally anything for her (tbf, to an extreme and scary degree because he struggled with limits). He was also a gross idiot and thought a Buffy-shaped sexbot was a good idea but no one’s perfect. I’m not trying to excuse his behavior but one way of looking at that is he accepted what she couldn’t and wouldn’t give him and tried to find alternative ways of getting what he wanted that, in his mind, wouldn’t affect her. That said, those ways were often deeply gross (although the buffybot was such an ongoing comedic opportunity I can’t even bring myself to hate it).

I also love the effect Buffy had on Spike. He definitely also saw her as salvation but he included all of her, flaws and all, in that picture. He didn’t want her to be anyone other than who she was. His whole learning to be a better person without an inherent moral compass arc was so powerful and, unpopular opinion, I’m not hugely jazzed that he went out and got a soul. I thought his journey and struggle was a lot more interesting without it. I waffle back and forth over how I feel about the s6 Incident. I think the show tried something very risky and I fully understand and support everyone who hates it and puts Spuffy on their notp list, but for me I see how they got there and I think the whole situation is a lot more nuanced in context than most people seem to consider when they talk about it. The incident itself mostly bothers me because I think the whole thing and fallout was partially a semi-transparent ploy on Joss Whedon’s part to get people to unship and his strict adherence to what he wanted his vampire canon to be and kind of wish he would’ve allowed it to morph organically and not gone to such an extreme and fucked up place to try and accomplish his goal but whatever.

(Fun fact, I had a long talk with James Marsters at a con about Spuffy and behind the scenes, Joss DID NOT want people to ship Buffy and Spike but James wanted to keep his job so he played Spike with extra layers towards Buffy to keep that door open and was absolutely FLOORED when Joss approached him with his s5 arc like okay buddy you win we’re gonna try going there at least with your character, we’ll see how that goes. Also, James is an absolute SWEETHEART and genuinely touched that people love his character so much and was super down to pause his signing line and talk with me and my mom about Spike which made our day. I know he’s an actor and this is at least partially a gimmick, but he’s really good at making you feel like your question is the best, most insightful question he’s ever been asked.)

ANYWAY. For all its flaws, I found the Buffy/Spike dynamic infinitely more interesting and layered than the Buffy/Angel dynamic. Both ships have their pros and cons but Spuffy hits way more of my ship buttons and they’ll be on my OTP list forever and the ‘you’re a hell of a woman’ speech will always, always make me bawl. It encompasses everything I love about them and is my favorite OTP speech of all time.

(Also, thank you for asking me about Buffy, this was a super fun can of worms to open)

anonymous asked:

Ok I hope this ask comes off alright because I TOTALLY agree with you about Spike. But I'm talking about consistency in the Buffyverse - if the writers want us to believe Angel and Angelus are different, doesn't that mean that they have to allow fans to see pre soul Spike and ensouled Spike the same. Consistency wise if Buffy can forgive Angel/Angelus for murdering Jenny, it makes some fucked up sense for her to forgive Spike. Which is why WRITING wise I can sort of see the confusion for some

Okay, so initially the writing did made a clear distinction between Angel and Angelus (all the way back in Season 2 of BtVS) but that changed as the show grew and the mythos evolved.

However, even while making that distinction, the show still held Angel accountable for his actions as Angelus, hence why Giles holds him responsible for Jenny’s death (because he is) and why Buffy struggles so much when he returns in Season 3, re-ensouled. Also, nowhere does anyone ever say he is forgiven for Jenny’s death. So, no, the show/fandom/characters etc. are not obligated to forgive Spike for his actions without a soul.

After Angel moved to AtS, the distinction between Angel and Angelus became less clear and the show seemed to present Angel and Angelus as two sides of the same coin, rather than as two separate entities.

In my opinion, we are not supposed to view souled vs non-souled vampires as separate entities. The vampires are obviously different when they are ensouled, demonstrated throughout both shows, but they are not separate entities and as such, they must be held responsible for their actions. If the series really believed Angel and Angelus were separate entities then Angel would not be constantly seeking redemption, because why would he need redemption if Angelus is a separate being?

If you want a more in-depth analysis of soul vs. non-souled vampires in the Buffyverse, you can read a meta I’ve previously written on the subject here.

MTVS Epic Rewatch #153

BTVS 6x05 Life Serial

Stray thoughts

1) This is a mostly fun episode, as much as it hurts to watch Buffy struggling in every job. The bottom line is, she’s a fighter, and she’s trying her hardest even as she’s struggling with her post-heaven depression. She accepts everyone’s offers and suggestions, and she fucking tries okay? Even when she probably feels like staying home curled up in her bed, she fucking tries and she doesn’t give up. And she doesn’t really ask for help but she takes it when Giles offers it to her. Both of these things constitute a very important message. Buffy is strong, and she may be faltering and depressed and lacking the will to live. But she doesn’t give up, and I love her for it.

2) And the Buffy/Angel meeting remains a mystery…

DAWN: So… how was it? Seeing Angel… him seeing you. Was it weird?

BUFFY: Um… it was… intense.

WILLOW: Well, if you wanna talk about it…

BUFFY: I don’t. It’s… not important. Past. I’d just… rather keep this one to myself, if that’s okay.

My biggest question about their meeting is whether she told me she was in heaven or not. I guess we’ll never know.

3) I guess we had gone too long without a good ol’ fashioned round of ganging up on Buffy, hadn’t we?

GILES: Buffy, there was…  some discussion in, uh, your absence about, um… what you’re gonna do now. You know, um… your plans.

BUFFY: Oh, I’ve been giving that a lot of thought actually. I think I’ve figured it out, what I should do.
WILLOW: That’s good, that’s good!
BUFFY: Yeah. I figure, if I hold off paying the plumber, I can pay the utility bill.  And then I can wait to re-shingle the roof until we get the refund back-
GILES: Um, I meant… with your life.
BUFFY: Oh. Life plans. Um… well… I have no idea.

So, apparently, they all got together and bitched about how Buffy wasn’t doing anything of herself? Like, excuse you? The girl did not ask to be brought back, and now you want her to figure out what she’s going to do with a life she didn’t ask for ASAP? And you figure the best way to approach the subject is right after she comes back from meeting Angel - something that was probably extremely emotionally tiring for her - when she has had zero time to think things through? Seriously, sometimes I just want to slap the fuck out of all of them. 

4) I’m probably missing something because tbh I don’t really pay much attention to what the trio say during their scenes, but WHY? Why are they going after Buffy? Just for funsies? Jonathan, I expected better of you.

WARREN: Okay, the thing is, since we’re messing with the Slayer, who could pummel the three of us into a sludgy substance, it might be a good idea for us to NOT draw attention to ourselves!

ANDREW: I could paint over it if you want.

WARREN: Yeah, well, do that! Because this time tomorrow, the games begin. And the Slayer… will never even know what hit her.

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The only thing I will say about TVD and Nina leaving:

Nina said on her goodbye letter than she always knew since she did her audition that Elena’s journey was gonna be one of 6 seasons. So, if Julie knew this since the start, then that only simplifies how bad writer and professional she is. Because if she knew this, she could have cut TVD to only 6 seasons. So, this “Stelena vs Delena” was supposed to end by season 5 in my mind, in fact, she should have closed her story lines around season 5, to have a good closure on season 6.

Personally, Elena leaving feels incomplete, and that’s just the bad writing that shows has. We were presented to a humble, warm, selfless, independent teenage who knew between wrong and good and stand up for it on season 1. We are left with a selfish, self centered, hypocrite Elena who’s completely different from the start and not in a good way. Someone that choose to ignore her loved ones for the sake of her own pleasure, that defends the actions of a man who does nothing but harm her and her family. (We lose Elena the moment she die on that bridge). You could say it was the vampirism that put such a horrible personality on her, I don’t know. But just like Buffy when she had her dark ark, like Elena did on season 4. The writer knew it was essential for them to turn her back eventually to the person she truly was, Elena’s selfless and pure personality was the heart of the show, at the end it was what attracted both brothers, she was the perfect reflection on what’s being a human was.

The ark for Elena didn’t happen. She didn’t turn around even thought Julie had so many opportunities, she could have turned Elena around starting from the end of season 4 when Elena got her emotions back, instated she made her more cold (sex instated of acknowledge her brothers issues at school and her “ex lover” and best friends sudden disappearance), again, she did nothing with Elena. Then, we have the Stefan missing/without memories story line, again, they only made her awake his feelings to turn him down, then we had Katherine taking her body, it should have been the perfect moment for her to acknowledge that there was indeed something wrong with her if the people who loved her doesn’t recognize her anymore. Again, they made her dismiss the fact that her so called lover killed so many people, including hurting her brother. As a last resource Julie had Damon/Bonnie “death” as the target for Elena to change, it didn’t. It made her so drugs, be more and more incoherent.

Elena’s character lose the charm since season 4, and I was agree with Elena having a dark side but a dark side for 3 seasons? This is bad for Stelena and Delena both. Stelena for my part, I wanted them endgame but not with Elena’s behavior like this, after aeason 5 I stopped caring. I wanted a slow burn, I wanted Elena to acknowledge and regret the things she did. I wanted Elena to be herself, and find her way back to him, Juie just “erase” that like season 1-3 was irrelevant. As for Delena, even Delena shippers can admit that DE was good when Delena wasn’t defending every bad action Damon does. In fact, it was better with that “forbidden” thing. I mean, the “we are bad for each other” speech was used like 5 times? Even the development of this couple sucked. A DE shipper can¿t tel me she enjoyed her ship with a dynamic as toxic and disfuntional as that, at least with old Elena you knew Damon was capable of better, on s5/6 it seems like they just don’t care.

For both couples sucks, specially since it feels like there wasn’t a right ending. It feels so cut off, so rushed. Elena’s character feels so strange. And I hope for the sake of the show that Bonnie is the new lead because a show based of Caroline….. We better not talk about it. And I can guarantee you all that the ending will be Elena back to human, saying she loves both brothers, and then forgetting everything to start a new life. At this point whatever couple she wante at the end it doesn’t matter, she wasted what could have been a “ok” ending, with the female lead, for story lines like travelers, dooplegangers, steroline, “the other side is closing”, it just doesn’t matter anymore.

So yeah, we have been plec’d.

anonymous asked:

Did you hear that the reason they got rid of Riley is that people didn't want Buffy in a healthy relationship. Really that's what they consider healthy? They said it made people crazy when they were happy. And that Buffy with a boyfriend is not as interesting as Buffy in some kind of romantic strife.

I don’t think “healthy” was the term Joss used - I think he said “nice guy” or something along those lines (which is a problematic term in itself, but that’s beyond the point.) I get that writers might think a nice, normal relationship doesn’t make for good TV, and that’s probably what they thought was the problem when fans did not respond well to Buffy/Riley. Personally, I don’t think that’s really the crux of the matter. I think nice, normal relationships can make for good TV if the characters are well cast and well written and if the stories are interesting

If I have to guess why they got rid of Riley, it’s not because fans didn’t want Buffy in a healthy relationship. If that was the case, they would have gotten rid of him way before this episode - back when their relationship was actually healthy… I think the main problem is that fans weren’t in love with Riley - Marc Blucas might be a babe (to some, not to me, I don’t find him attractive in the least) but there’s a reason Spike named him Captain Cardboard. The dude has zero charisma and he just doesn’t emote. So it’s very difficult for fans to buy your favorite character is in love with a guy when they’re not in love with him themselves - it doesn’t matter if he’s a brooding tortured vampire or a nice Iowa soldier/college boy. Plus, we know season 4 was a mess because they had to make up the season arc as they went along. So I don’t think the writers had really planned what to do with Riley as a character beyond the Initiative arc. So once that arc was closed, they found themselves with this character who had no use beyond being Buffy’s boyfriend because he’d been introduced with only two layers: love interest / commando guy. They got rid of one of those layers and they were left with a one-dimensional character that had nowhere to go in the show’s narrative.

More importantly, for me shipping always comes second (or third or fourth, you get the point) when it comes to my watching experience. It’s just another condiment in the recipe of what makes a TV show interesting for me. So my main beef with Riley and with what happens in Into the Woods is that they were ruining Buffy’s characterization just because they didn’t know how to solve this ship issue. 

MTVS Epic Rewatch #138

BTVS 5x17 Forever

Stray thoughts

1) In case you’d forgotten what the previous episode was about, the episode opens with Buffy walking among coffins- seemingly hunting a vamp, but then hahaha oops nope she’s just shopping for a coffin for hER DEAD MOM OOPSIE!

2) The fumeral-home guy deserves a kick in the nuts. Just saying.

DIRECTOR: Did you find something?
BUFFY: This one.

DIRECTOR: It’s a fine choice. It speaks of your deep feeling for the deceased.

Seriously, dude, you should not be pursuing a career in this line of work. 

3) There is a lot of build-up towards Dawn making the decision to bring Joyce back from the dead, and it all has to do with Buffy and how Buffy is treating Dawn or trying to do “what’s best for her.” First, there’s this little exchange at the funeral home…

BUFFY: You don’t like it?
DAWN: No, it’s not that. It’s just… what if Mom… what if she’d like something else better?
BUFFY: Dawn…
DAWN: I mean, how do we know for sure? She’s the one who has to be in it forever.
BUFFY: Dawn, maybe it wasn’t such a good idea you coming along.
DAWN: It’s fine. It’s just …
BUFFY: I’m serious. You shouldn’t have to deal with this stuff.
DIRECTOR: If you’d like a few more minutes to decide..
BUFFY: No. It’s done, it’s fine. Okay?

I think the problem in this scene basically stems from the fact that Buffy and Dawn need to mourn Joyce in very different ways. Buffy seems to be all business about it, and Dawn obviously mistakes that for coldness and indifference. I think, however, Buffy was just trying to get it over with because it was all too painful. That’s what she needs to get herself through the day. She assumes that by keeping Dawn out of the whole process she’s protecting her and sparing her some pain. That doesn’t seem to be what Dawn needs, though. She wants to be involved in the decisions, she wants to talk about it, she wants to talk about Joyce and about what her death means to them.

The next scene is at Buffy’s, where everyone is going about getting everything ready for the funeral. Again, Dawn tries to get involved, and Buffy seems oblivious and indifferent. First, Dawn asks about the flowers, and Buffy absent-mindedly replies, and immediately turns to Giles for approval even though Dawn was the one who had asked her the question in the first place. It all gets even worse once Dawn learns Joyce had talked to Buffy about what she wanted in case anything happened to her. Dawn felt left out again. Finally, Dawn asks what they’ll do after the funeral. Buffy barely gives her an answer and then moves on to the next thing on her to-do list. Dawn is visibly put out, and she says to herself - but loud enough for anyone who cares to hear… - that she doesn’t want to stay at Buffy’s. Yet again, Buffy continues doing whatever she was doing without minding Dawn.

Bottom line is, they were at two very different points in their mourning process, and they obviously were going about it differently. Dawn seems to need Buffy desperately, and she wants Buffy to rely on her as much as she needs to rely on Buffy. Buffy, on the other hand, is trying to shut herself off because she can’t allow herself to break down. At the same time, she feels she’s doing what Dawn needs - keeping her away from everything while keeping up a strong facade. She’s definitely putting some distance between her and Dawn, but I don’t think that’s because she doesn’t want to comfort her but rather because she doesn’t think she is capable of doing it since she can barely keep herself together. In a way, Buffy is trying to be the mom, but what both of them needed was a sister.

Both forms of mourning are totally valid, but since they kind of contradict each other, it was difficult for Buffy and Dawn to be there for each other at this point. And they needed to go through the events in this episode - as heartbreaking as they are - to get there.

 (this is already getting way too long, sorry!)

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anonymous asked:

Angel or BTVS? Compare the two

Am I being tested? This kind of feels like an essay question…

I’m not one of the cool kids who claim ATS is better, okay? BTVS all the way, baby, no doubt about it.

I think I like the idea of ATS better than what the product turned out to be. I think it definitely had the potential to be an epic, gritty, dark show. Unfortunately, they ended up botching way too many plots and ruining way too many characters. On the plus side, Angel actually became an interesting and endearing character in my eyes - something that three season of BTVS hadn’t accomplished. Then there’s Wesley’s and Faith’s arcs, which are some of the greatest things to come out of the Buffyverse. There’s also all the awesome new characters we wouldn’t have gotten to know otherwise: Lorne, Fred, Gunn, Lilah. And there’s Cordelia Chase. The assassination of Cordelia Chase. Which is so horrifying and heartbreaking and unfair that pretty much takes away from any other great things the show accomplished. I think the show hit some very high highs - especially when it dealt with the grey moral areas, which was quite different from the black or white morality portrayed on BTVS. I think, however, that quality-wise ATS was extremely uneven. It has some great episodes, some really bad episodes and A LOT of meh episodes. But more importantly, I never really knew where the show was going each season. And not in the “ooh cool they keep us guessing” way. It felt as though the show lacked a certain cohesiveness and plots, arcs or Big Bads appeared out of nowhere. Like, if you watch some of the season finales of the show, they’re not really the closure to anything that has come before just something they whipped out at the last minute?

BTVS, on the other hand, was much more even in terms of quality. And you can definitely tell that Joss had a clear road map regarding where the show and the characters started and where they would end up. It showed in how each season was crafted and how the big arc was built up slowly but surely until we got a resolution. Even if you didn’t necessarily like where the show was going, you knew there was a destination. Then, there’s also the overarching theme of identity which runs throughout the whole show and seeps into every arc and every plot. And Buffy-speak! I mean, how many shows can claim to have influenced a language the way BTVS did? And let’s not forget it provided us with some of the best episodes in television HISTORY, okay? Of course, I have to concede that I might be a little biased. I fell in love with Buffy Summers back when I was eight years old and watched the movie. And my love for her has never wavered. 

To sum up, BTVS = the awesomest.

Did I pass?


So, it’s been a busy day! Especially with the trailer for the Scream TV series coming out yesterday, I wasn’t able to share with you something very cool I did on Sunday! I attended Supanova and met some pretty amazing people! I met my love, Tyler Hoechlin (Teen Wolf), also Charisma Carpenter and James Marsters (Buffy & Angel) and the one and only Christopher Lloyd (Back To The Future). Was the most amazing day! And I met Tyler quite a few times, since he’s my most favourite person ever! He held my hand and the way he said my name was just beautiful. AND HE’S GORGEOUS. I WAS JUST STARING AT HIM ALL DAY. Charisma said she loved my hair and James was so lovely, holding my hand when it wasn’t even my turn to take the photo with him… he’s so cool. Christopher gives the best hugs and is so friendly! One of the best days ever! The seminars were also amazing, I loved listening to them talk. I wanted to share this amazing experience with you guys! One day, I hope to meet people from Scream haha… PS. I also had a photo in the Delorean! AWESOME! I quite literally wanted to buy everything from that place!

Buffy really did save me actually. The show is now a integral part of my life, and I think I have never loved or been so passionate about something, that I never will. For me, the Buffyverse is an alternate reality where I go back when mine is upsetting, or when I want to laugh, or find again those characters I love as friends or family members. It’s a warm and familiar way-out.