i did this for buffy way back when

I feel like many of the Spike fans understand his mentality and why he acted the way he did towards Buffy in season 5&6. Spike was a demon for hundreds of years. He didn’t know right from wrong. He was in love with Drusilla a sick, crazy, disgusting love. They tortured together, loved and hated together. So when he started to love Buffy he fell back into that routine thinking that behavior was fine and that’s how to show love. The attempted rape was his wake-up call. I often wonder if people realize that or just to choose to ignore it.

(re)watching “Once More, With Feeling” and realized this….

When Giles wonders what is going to spark Buffy back to life… that thing is Spike. Even though their relationship is twisted and abusive, Spike is able to provoke emotions in Buffy while she is still kind of out of it post-death. The passion they shared and the dynamics of their relationship brought her back fully.

Plus, shortly after returning from death, Buffy did meet with Angel. Yet, even as the one truest true love of her life, he wasn’t able to help her in that way. Because what Buffy needed after Heaven wasn’t love, she just needed to feel something. And because of her experience, only something as intense as a hot and cold thing with a vampire she was disgusted by was just that. 

To heal, she had to live. And to live, she had to find a new way to feel. And Spike gave her a new path to life with new feelings. Was it perfect? No. Did it solve everything? Not at all. But it gave her the one spark. And the kiss he gives her, it was the tender blow to settle the spark into the tinder. The intimate touches were to stoke the feeble flame. And sure, it burns him later (very literally). But even if he couldn’t give her what she really wanted, he gave her what she needed. He really truly gave her the fire back.

Originally posted by casualtoast