i did that before and i need to learn from it

anonymous asked:

Did you ever consider becoming a monastic before going the path you're on? How did it affect you?

Only very briefly. I have always felt called to be a dad. 

However, what I’ve learned is that there is very little difference, ultimately, between a monastic and married calling, when it comes to children and sex. Both must refrain from sex at specific times if they are to see others as humans and not an object to satisfy lusts. Both need to be concerned with raising within themselves and their children a Christian who is able to recognize and navigate their discovery of their own path to Christ. 

Spiritual and biological parenting need to be concerned with this: recognizing the person before them as an individual with a unique relationship with Christ. They need to bring that out, help this individual discover just how to discover that relationship for themselves. Either can be too concerned with imposing a personal perspective on their child. 

If I had known that, would I have acted differently? Who knows? Everyone is told only their own story ;) 

On The Adventure Zone Graphic Novel, Blue Taako, and Representation

 Yesterday, we revealed some pages for our graphic novel adaptation of the first Adventure Zone arc, and received some criticism of the direction we went with for Taako’s coloring. This artwork reveal came some months after the first reveal of some of our characters, for which we also received criticism of our three leads, all of whom were white in these initial designs. Us and the graphic novel team realized that, yes, that is extremely bad, went back to the drawing board, and had several long discussions about how to best rectify this situation, resulting in the artwork revealed yesterday.

More or less all of the criticism we’ve received centers on Taako, whose skin is a pale blue color in these designs. What we’ve heard most is disappointment that Taako is not realized in these pages as a person of color — or, to be more specific, a Latinx or explicitly Mexican character. There was concern we had failed to follow through on an opportunity to get better representation for Latinx listeners, instead opting to take a safe route, and make Taako a fantasy color without any kind of real-world connection. Much of the criticism also focuses on how that color (or, to be more specific, green skin) has anti-semitic connotations.

This conversation was happening in certain corners of our fandom long before the graphic novel art reveal took place yesterday. We’ve heard criticism from some folks over our policy of not having canonical visual representations of any of our characters — a policy that has resulted in a genuinely humbling ocean of fan art, but also some instances of in-fighting between members of the community who take umbrage with one another’s disparate interpretations of these characters. Another criticism of that policy is that it inherently does not foster good representation, and in fact represents a noncommittal way of handling racial representation on this show.

Here’s the truth of the matter: I think all of this comes from this underlying friction between where The Adventure Zone and us, its creators, were when we started doing the podcast, and where we, the show, and you, the community, are at now. 

Keep reading

Okay, so like how when sheep/kids baaa at you and you baaa back and they all baaa again?? How would aliens react is if a human on their mission started making the creatures noise back at them until they all doing it.

Well…

The mission was fairly simple in Grutona’s mind: follow the tracks of certain creatures and use environmental clues to discern aspects of the creature’s lifestyle and needs. The group had been following the large, octagonal shaped prints of a swutonaton for the past several standard hours, and up to this point, they still hadn’t actually encountered the beast.

Good. Grutona was not keen on being eaten alive today, which would surely be the result of disturbing the beast. Protocol on the mission was to leave should contact be breached with any species that was not fully documented.

However, there was one member of the team that made Grutona worry. Maria seemed to take things like Protocol as more of a… guideline. Already today Maria had disregarded rules about eating wild tree fruit claiming “they have these on my planet, don’t worry!” Grutona did worry. Especially when Maria added: “Besides, they’re delicious.” Grutona knew what type of treefruit Maria was eating, and xhe was skeptical of the claim. These deadly fruits humans called “lemons” were HIGHLY acidic and sour. On xer home world, a fruit like that would be used by deadly criminals as a poison.

Needless to say, having a human on the crew had been an eye-opening, mind-boggling experience. Grutona was learning more about universal cultures on this mission than ever before, that was for certain.

It was a few more minutes of walking along the path, Grutona taking note of the way the plant life was smashed down to the side of the path of the tracks as if the swutonaton had stopped for a time and rested.

“Ah, so it appears swutonaton are a restful breed, and likely a predator species as evident by their choice location being one leaving them so vulnerable.” Kerip, another member of the team, said this clinically, xis eyes dilating further as his species was wont to do in order to get a magnified look at things. As he was examining he spoke to his partner, Bepin who recorded xis observations on a datapad.

There was a noise further down the trail, strangely like a yawn. Grutona looked over cautiously. Maria was gone. Grutona frowned and made toward the sound hoping it was just Maria doing some sort of human thing xhe was unfamiliar with and not the beast hiding in the plant life beyond planning an attack on the mission crew.

But when had luck ever been on Grutona’s side?

As xhe rounded the bend in the trail xhe was met with the horrifying sight. Xhe would have screamed if it were a characteristic of xer race. Instead, xhe stood there in shock.

Maria stood in front of the creature they were tracking all right. The only thing was, the team was entirely wrong about what they thought they were following here. They had assumed the animal was very large, at least nine or ten times the actual size of the creatures in front of them now. And creatures they were. There were at least fifteen of these creatures and they were all piled atop one another, drooling heavily, spiked tails and trunks laying anywhere. 

“I’d definitely call this a dog-pile.” Maria chuckled, completely unconcerned at the reality that basically everything they had assumed about these creatures was wrong. Maria turned to look at Grutona, eyes gleaming in mischief. “Guess we were wrong about the elephant-sized animal with forty pig-sized feet, huh?” Grutona said nothing, still reeling. They needed to leave, Protocol demanded it, and they needed to go soon before more of the creatures woke up as one was doing now.

“Hey, look! They’re starting to wake up! They’re so cute!” Maria took another step closer to them, making cooing noises as Grutona watched in horror as more of the swutonatons started to rouse. Footsteps behind xer alerted xer to the rest of the team arriving to the scene finally. 

There was a moment of stunned silence before an exasperated sound came from Bepin and Kerip started mumbling in astonishments about all the things they had wrongly ascertained. 

“We should leave,” a voice of reason finally called from the back of the group: Teriwald, the ranked officer from the ship who had been tasked with “protecting the scientists” on the expedition.

Grutona found xer voice again, finally. “You’re–”

There was a sudden, loud sound from the pile of creatures “Meeeeeeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrm.”

“Okay, that was the greatest thing I’ve ever heard,” Maria was watching the herd of swutonaton with complete adoration in her gaze. Grutona had been warned to be wary of humans when they assumed a look like this one. There was no telling what kind of things they might do next. 

Whatever Grutona had expected, it was not what Maria did next. Maybe xhe thought she would have started running in circles around the group or walk over and touch one, but xhe certainly did not predict that  Maria would raise her arms in imitation of a swutonaton trunk and repeat the noise back at them in perfect imitation. “Meeeeeeeerrrrrm!”

“What are you doing, we need to go!” Teriwald reminded in an increasingly demanding tone. 

“Calm down, Waldo, we’re fi–” Maria was cut off by several cries of the swutonaton calling back at her.

“Meeeeeerrrm!” 

“Oh, this is too good!” More of the swutonaton had stirred now, and they were climbing off of each other and standing in a herd before Maria who laughed and made the noise again. 

“Meeeerrrm!”

“MEEEEEEEEERRRRRM!!!” The entire herd of seventeen (Grutona had counted in xer moments of horror earlier) swutonaton were now calling back at Maria’s prompting. 

Nobody on the team said anything as they all watched in rapt attention Maria and the herd of swutonaton yell at each other for the next ten standard minutes. 

Humans, Grutona concluded, still half horrified, are weird.

Hi guys! Here’s a little masterpost of quotes from children’s books that you can use in your bullet journal, or anywhere else you feel like!

THE LITTLE PRINCE (ANTOINE DE SAINT-EXUPÉRY)

  • “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”
  • “The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or touched, they are felt with the heart.”
  • “You become responsible forever for what you’ve tamed.” 
  • “You - you alone will have the stars as no one else has them…In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night…You - only you - will have stars that can laugh.”
  • “Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them”
  • “A rock pile ceases to be a rock pile the moment a single man contemplates it, bearing within him the image of a cathedral.” 

A LITTLE PRINCESS (FRANCES HODGSON BURNETT)

  • “If I am a princess in rags and tatters, I can be a princess inside. It would be easy to be a princess if I were dressed in cloth of gold, but it is a great deal more of a triumph to be one all the time when no one knows it.”
  • “When you will not fly into a passion people know you are stronger than they are, because you are strong enough to hold in your rage, and they are not, and they say stupid things they wish they hadn’t said afterward. “
  • “There’s nothing so strong as rage, except what makes you hold it in–that’s stronger. It’s a good thing not to answer your enemies.”
  • “If nature has made you for a giver, your hands are born open, and so is your heart; and though there may be times when your hands are empty, your heart is always full, and you can give things out of that–warm things, kind things, sweet things–help and comfort and laughter–and sometimes gay, kind laughter is the best help of all.”
  • “Somehow, something always happens just before things get to the very worst. It is as if Magic did it. If I could only just remember that always. The worse thing never quite comes.”
  • “But I suppose there might be good in things, even if we don’t see it.”
  • “You don’t forget, but you bear it better.” 

LITTLE WOMEN (LOUISA MAY ALCOTT)

  • “I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”
  • “It’s wicked to throw away so many good gifts because you can’t have the one you want.”
  • “Love is a great beautifier.” 
  • “Watch and pray, dear, never get tired of trying, and never think it is impossible to conquer your fault.”
  • “I want to do something splendid…something heroic or wonderful that won’t be forgotten after I’m dead. I don’t know what, but I’m on the watch for it and mean to astonish you all someday.” 
  • “Conceit spoils the finest genius.” 
  • “Be comforted, dear soul! There is always light behind the clouds.”
  • “Life and love are very precious when both are in full bloom.”
  • “The only chivalry worth having is that which is the readiest to to pay deference to the old, protect the feeble, and serve womankind, regardless of rank, age, or color.”
  • “Books are always good company if you have the right sort.”
  • “The humblest tasks get beautified if loving hands do them.”
  • “Now and then, in this workaday world, things do happen in the delightful storybook fashion, and what a comfort that is.”

MATLIDA (ROALD DAHL)

  • “So Matilda’s strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. These books gave Matilda a hopeful and comforting message: You are not alone.” 
  • “Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it’s unbelievable…” 
  • “I have found it impossible to talk to anyone about my problems. I couldn’t face the embarrassment, and anyway I lack the courage. Any courage I had was knocked out of me when I was young. But now, all of sudden I have a sort of desperate wish to tell everything to somebody.”
  • “I’ve always said to myself that if a little pocket calculator can do it why shouldn’t I?”
  • “There is little point in teaching anything backwards. The whole object of life, Headmistress, is to go forwards.”
  • “I’m afraid men are not always quite as clever as they think they are.”

THE PHANTOM TOLLBOOTH (NORTON JUSTER)

  • “So many things are possible just as long as you don’t know they’re impossible.”
  • “Have you ever heard the wonderful silence just before the dawn? Or the quiet and calm just as a storm ends? Or perhaps you know the silence when you haven’t the answer to a question you’ve been asked, or the hush of a country road at night, or the expectant pause of a room full of people when someone is just about to speak, or, most beautiful of all, the moment after the door closes and you’re alone in the whole house? Each one is different, you know, and all very beautiful if you listen carefully.”
  • “Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life. ”
  • “You must never feel badly about making mistakes … as long as you take the trouble to learn from them. For you often learn more by being wrong for the right reasons than you do by being right for the wrong reasons.”
  • “The most important reason for going from one place to another is to see what’s in between.”
  • “What you can do is often simply a matter of what you will do.”
  • “What you learn today, for no reason at all, will help you discover all the wonderful secrets of tomorrow.”
  • “Whatever we learn has a purpose and whatever we do affects everything and everyone else, if even in the tiniest way.”

THE GOLDEN COMPASS (PHILIP PULLMAN)

  • “You cannot change what you are, only what you do.”
  • “We are all subject to the fates. But we must act as if we are not, or die of despair.”
  • “Every opportunity will come again.”

Did you ever have a genuine psychic/medium experience?

Although many readings can be attributed to cold readings or sheer coincidence sometimes it’s uncanny how accurate psychics/mediums can be. Here’s a collection of supposedly genuine experiences from threads. If you have an experience feel free to tag me @sixpenceee!

by reddit user Jinuxxx

I never believe in palm /card readings. I don’t actually believe in it nowadays. BUT when I was in 9th grade, my friend took me with her to a fortune teller so she can have her future read. Surprisingly she mentioned about her love dilemma, a blonde guy and dark haired guy. She was completely convinced about her reading powers while I was meh… We’re teenagers, it’s natural we’ll find ourselves in situations like this. And then she predicted the scores she’ll get at the exams when you finish high school (in our country there are some mandatory subjects for the exams, thus multiple numbers) she guessed that right. If I think really hard about probabilities and stuff I can find a logic explanation to that as well. 

by reddit user GoobyBear22

About 5 years ago I saw a psychic that a family friend had told me was the real deal. I went in skeptical and came out a believer.

She used tarot cards and knew things that could have been lucky guesses, like that I had just bought a house and was renovating it, but she also knew specific things that no one else could have known.

The most amazing part of the whole thing was that she knew that I had some complications with my hormones and had a surgery in the past that would make getting pregnant very difficult, but she told me Despite all this, I would have a baby later in life. Toward the end of the reading she hands me the tarot cards and tells me to shuffle them. Then tells me to ask three questions in my mind one at a time. I decided to really test her authenticity so the first question I decided to ask was am I going to have children, and halfway through laying the five cards down, she stops and looks at me and scolds me saying “I already told you that you were going to have one child!” hah this is when I knew.

by reddit user wobblerss

This was before I was born. My mom had a neighbor who was a grandpa who could see the future. He told my mom that my sister would be really sick when she became a preteen and not to worry because she’d be okay. When my sister was a preteen she was diagnosed with cancer and after a year and a half she was perfectly fine. My mom was pregnant with me when she met him again and he told her that I would be a c-section baby. My mom already knew this and said she had scheduled the c-section already since I was breach but he was adamant that she would have me on a certain day and that the c-section wouldn’t go on the planned day. I was born on the exact day he predicted.

Nothing too crazy but the fact that he knew that my sister would be sick and would be okay is crazy to me. He also didn’t want any money and approached my mom and asked if he could do a reading for her.

Keep reading

The Time I Pushed a Jerkface off a 35ft Cliff(With Good Reason)

Before we start off let me be clear. I did not murder a man by randomly shoving him off a cliff. Technically, I actually had permission, but still not murder. Chill.

Here we go.

So this is back in Mexico, at the same park as the Sting Ray Incident, just an hour later. Id already recovered from my near death experience and moved on from my friend nearly drowning me. I faced it, i survived, im good and not concerned.

One of the many attractions at this park was the Cliff of Courage. It’s a 35ft cliff that plunges into the water. Now, by my standards, 35ft is low for a cliff jump. Ive done way higher (adrenaline junkie) but obviously i was gonna jump just to say that I did. My parents, grandparents, and Jamie didnt want to jump. No surprise, so they went ahead to meet me on the other side of the river.

So sixteen year old me wanders over and there’s this big group of burly looking men.

Like huge

They’re all standing at the edge jostling each other around. And just by looking at them you can see they’re american. I dont even need to hear their texan accents to know.

So they’re pulling the whole macho act of “you jump i jump” “ohhh but then you wont jump” bs and just generally being chickens and not willing to show it.

And because of this they wont let anyone else jump. Like ten people came and left because these jerks wouldnt let anyone else go.

Eventually i get annoyed and snap “either jump or get out of my way!”

And the dude who is obviously the leader just turns and grins at me.

He assumed what i call the “douchebag alpha male pose” hands on hips, crotch foreward, you know the one, and you know the body language that goes with it.

He thinks he’s superior. Now this guy is the biggest of them all.

Massive biceps, raging six pack, the works. The Hulk would probaby do a double take at this dudes size.

And little me is not intimidated in the least.

I learned to fight at a very young age, especially men larger than me. I know if things turns south i can take him no problem. A few hits here and there and he’s out for the count.

He starts walking towards me, and i step forward too. He may be alpha male, but he just crossed an Alpha Female who doesnt back down from a challenge.

Strike one.

He looks over at his pals and says,

“Ohhhh, the little lady’s going to jump, is she?” And he just sneers down at me, all arrogance and misplaced confidence.

Strike two.

“Tell you what, sweetheart.” Ohhh he did not just say that. “You jump, we’ll let you push us.”

Three strikes he’s out he just made the biggest mistake of his life.

I just grin and go “ok” and turn and immediately dive over the edge. Im soaring through the air, enjoying the fall. I turn just in time to see his face go from 😏 to 😧

I smack down into the water grinning. Originally the plan was the swim across the river and meet up with my family, but i am cashing in this bet. Except there’s only one way to get back up to that cliff from here

I scale the side of the cliff with the rope and I can hear them chatting nervously up top

I pop up over the edge and prop myself up on the ledge with the sweetest, most steel-lined smile I can manage and say, “who’s next?”

So Alpha laughs and stands at the edge as I haul myself up. He’s laughing and assuring his buddies he’ll be back in a second cause I wont really do it and–

I straight arm him and he goes flying

He flails and plunges over the edge, shrieking in the most high pitched, terrified shriek Ive ever heard a dude bro make. He sputters to the surface and gapes up at me as I grin like a hellion down at him. I turn to the rest of his jerk buddies and smile.

Oddly enough they all jumped of their own accord

Internal Conflict:  Five Conflicting Traits of a Likable Hero.

1.  Flaws and Virtues 

I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but characters without flaws are boring.  This does not, as many unfortunate souls take it to mean, imply that good, kind, or benevolent characters are boring:  it just means that without any weaknesses for you to poke at, they tend to be bland-faced wish fulfillment on the part of the author, with a tendency to just sit there without contributing much to the plot.

For any character to be successful, they need to have a proportionate amount of flaws and virtues.

Let’s take a look at Stranger Things, for example, which is practically a smorgasbord of flawed, lovable sweethearts.

We have Joyce Byers, who is strung out and unstable, yet tirelessly works to save her son, even when all conventional logic says he’s dead;  We have Officer Hopper, who is drunken and occasionally callous, yet ultimately is responsible for saving the boy’s life;  We have Jonathan, who is introspective and loving, but occasionally a bit of a creeper, and Nancy, who is outwardly shallow but proves herself to be a strong and determined character.  Even Steve, who would conventionally be the popular jerk who gets his comeuppance, isn’t beyond redemption.

And of course, we have my beloved Eleven, who’s possibly the closest thing Stranger Things has to a “quintessential” heroine.  She’s the show’s most powerful character, as well as one of the most courageous.  However, she is also the show’s largest source of conflict, as it was her powers that released the Demogorgon to begin with.  

Would Eleven be a better character if this had never happened?  Would Stranger Things be a better show?  No, because if this had never happened, Stranger Things wouldn’t even be a show.  Or if it was, it would just be about a bunch of cute kids sitting around and playing Dungeons and Dragons in a relatively peaceful town.

A character’s flaws and mistakes are intended to drive the plotline, and if they didn’t have them, there probably wouldn’t even be a plot.

So don’t be a mouth-breather:  give your good, kind characters some difficult qualities, and give your villains a few sympathetic ones.  Your work will thank you for it.

2.  Charisma and Vulnerability

Supernatural has its flaws, but likable leads are not one of them.  Fans will go to the grave defending their favorite character, consuming and producing more character-driven, fan-created content than most other TV shows’ followings put together.

So how do we inspire this kind of devotion with our own characters?  Well, for starters, let’s take a look at one of Supernatural’s most quintessentially well-liked characters:  Dean Winchester.

From the get-go, we see that Dean has charisma:  he’s confident, cocky, attractive, and skilled at what he does.  But these qualities could just as easily make him annoying and obnoxious if they weren’t counterbalanced with an equal dose of emotional vulnerability. 

As the show progresses, we see that Dean cares deeply about the people around him, particularly his younger brother, to the point of sacrificing himself so that he can live.  He goes through long periods of physical and psychological anguish for his benefit (though by all means, don’t feel obligated to send your main character to Hell for forty years), and the aftermath is depicted in painful detail.

Moreover, in spite of his outward bravado, we learn he doesn’t particularly like himself, doesn’t consider himself worthy of happiness or a fulfilling life, and of course, we have the Single Man Tear™.

So yeah, make your characters beautiful, cocky, sex gods.  Give them swagger.  Just, y’know.  Hurt them in equal measure.  Torture them.  Give them insecurities.  Make them cry.  

Just whatever you do, let them be openly bisexual.  Subtext is so last season.

3.  Goals For the Future and Regrets From the Past

Let’s take a look at Shadow Moon from American Gods.  (For now, I’ll have to be relegate myself to examples from the book, because I haven’t had the chance to watch the amazing looking TV show.) 

Right off the bat, we learn that Shadow has done three years in prison for a crime he may or may not have actually committed.  (We learn later that he actually did commit the crime, but that it was only in response to being wronged by the true perpetrators.)  

He’s still suffering the consequences of his actions when we meet him, and arguably, for the most of the book:  because he’s in prison, his wife has an affair (I still maintain that Laura could have resisted the temptation to be adulterous if she felt like it, but that’s not the issue here) and is killed while mid-coital with his best friend.

Shadow is haunted by this for the rest of the book, to the point at which it bothers him more than the supernatural happenings surrounding him.  

Even before that, the more we learn about Shadow’s past, the more we learn about the challenges he faced:  he was bullied as a child, considered to be “just a big, dumb guy” as an adult, and is still wrongfully pursued for crimes he was only circumstantially involved in.

But these difficulties make the reader empathize with Shadow, and care about what happens to him.  We root for Shadow as he tags along with the mysterious and alternatively peckish and charismatic Wednesday, and as he continuously pursues a means to permanently bring Laura back to life.

He has past traumas, present challenges, and at least one goal that propels him towards the future.  It also helps that he’s three-dimensional, well-written, and as of now, portrayed by an incredibly attractive actor.

Of course (SPOILER ALERT), Shadow never does succeed in fully resurrecting Laura, ultimately allowing her to rest instead, but that doesn’t make the resolution any less satisfying.  

Which leads to my next example…       

4.  Failure and Success 

You remember in Zootopia, when Judy Hopps decides she wants to be cop and her family and town immediately and unanimously endorse her efforts?  Or hey, do you remember Harry Potter’s idyllic childhood with his kindhearted, adoptive family?  Oh!  Or in the X-Files, when Agent Mulder presents overwhelming evidence of extraterrestrial life in the first episode and is immediately given a promotion?  No?

Yeah, me neither.  And there’s a reason for this:  ff your hero gets what they want the entire time, it will be a boring, two-dimensional fantasy that no one will want to read.  

A good story is not about the character getting what they want.  A good story is about the character’s efforts and their journey.  The destination they reach could be something far removed from what they originally thought they wanted, and could be no less (if not more so) satisfying because of it.

Let’s look at Toy Story 3, for example:  throughout the entire movie, Woody’s goal is to get his friends back to their longtime owner, Andy, so that they can accompany him to college.  He fails miserably.  None of his friends believe that Andy was trying to put them in the attic, insisting that his intent was to throw them away.  He is briefly separated from them as he is usurped by a cute little girl and his friends are left at a tyrannical daycare center, but with time and effort, they’re reunited, Woody is proven right, and things seem to be back on track.

Do his efforts pay off?  Yes – just not in the way he expected them to.  At the end of the movie, a college-bound Andy gives the toys away to a new owner who will play with them more than he will, and they say goodbye.  Is the payoff bittersweet?  Undoubtedly.  It made me cry like a little bitch in front of my young siblings.  But it’s also undoubtedly satisfying.      

So let your characters struggle.  Let them fail.  And let them not always get what they want, so long as they get what they need.  

5.  Loving and Being Loved by Others

Take a look back at this list, and all the characters on it:  a gaggle of small town kids and flawed adults, demon-busting underwear models, an ex-con and his dead wife, and a bunch of sentient toys.  What do they have in common?  Aside from the fact that they’re all well-loved heroes of their own stories, not much.

But one common element they all share is they all have people they care about, and in turn, have people who care about them.  

This allows readers and viewers to empathize with them possibly more than any of the other qualities I’ve listed thus far, as none of it means anything without the simple demonstration of human connection.

Let’s take a look at everyone’s favorite caped crusader, for example:  Batman in the cartoons and the comics is an easy to love character, whereas in the most recent movies (excluding the splendid Lego Batman Movie), not so much. 

Why is this?  In all adaptions, he’s the same mentally unstable, traumatized genius in a bat suit.  In all adaptions, he demonstrates all the qualities I listed before this:  he has flaws and virtues, charisma and vulnerability, regrets from the past and goals for the future, and usually proportionate amounts of failure and success.  

What makes the animated and comic book version so much more attractive than his big screen counterpart is the fact that he does one thing right that all live action adaptions is that he has connections and emotional dependencies on other people.  

He’s unabashed in caring for Alfred, Batgirl, and all the Robins, and yes, he extends compassion and sympathy to the villains as well, helping Harley Quinn to ultimately escape a toxic and abusive relationship, consoling Baby Doll, and staying with a child psychic with godlike powers until she died.

Cartoon Batman is not afraid to care about others.  He has a support network of people who care about him, and that’s his greatest strength.  The DC CU’s ever darker, grittier, and more isolated borderline sociopath is failing because he lacks these things.  

 And it’s also one of the reasons that the Lego Batman Movie remains so awesome.


God willing, I will be publishing fresh writing tips every week, so be sure to follow my blog and stay tuned for future advice and observations! 

theguardian.com
Ten things I learned about writing from Stephen King
The novelist James Smythe, who has been analysing the work of Stephen King for the Guardian since 2012, on the lessons he has drawn from the master of horror fiction
By James Smythe

Stephen King is an All-Time Great, arguably one of the most popular novelists the world has ever seen. And there’s a good chance that he’s inspired more people to start writing than any other living writer. So, as the Guardian and King’s UK publisher Hodder launch a short story competition – to be judged by the master himself – here are the ten most important lessons to learn from his work.

1. Write whatever the hell you like

King might be best known – or, rather, best regarded – as a writer of horror novels, but really, his back catalogue is crammed with every genre you can think of. There are thrillers (Misery, Gerald’s Game), literary novels (Bag Of Bones, Different Seasons), crime procedurals (Mr Mercedes), apocalypse narratives (The Stand), fantasy (Eyes Of The Dragon, The Dark Tower series) … He’s even written what I think of as being one of the greatest Young Adult novels of all time: The Long Walk. Perhaps the only genre or audience he hasn’t really touched so far is comedy, but most of his work features moments that show his deft touch with humour. It’s clear that King does what he wants, when he wants, and his constant readers – the term he calls his, well, constant readers – will follow him wherever he goes.

2. The scariest thing isn’t necessarily what’s underneath the bed

Horror is a curious thing. What scares one person won’t necessarily scare another. And while there might be moments in his horror novels that tread towards the more conventional ideas of what some find terrifying, for the most part, the truly scary aspects are those that deal with humanity itself. Ghosts drive people to madness, telekinetic girls destroy whole towns with their powers, clowns … well, clowns are just bloody terrifying full stop. But the true crux of King’s ability to scare is finding the thing that his readers are actually worried about, and bringing that to the fore. If you’re writing horror, don’t just think about what goes bump in the night; think about what that bump might drive people to do afterwards.

3. Don’t be scared of transparency

One of my favourite things about King’s short story collections are the little notes about each tale that he puts into the text. The history of them, the context for the idea, how the writing process actually worked. They’re not only invaluable material for aspiring writers – because exactly how many drafts does it take to reach a decent story? King knows! – but they’re also brilliant nuggets of insight into King himself. Some people might think that it’s better off knowing nothing about authors when they read their work, but for King, his heart is on his sleeve. In his latest collection, The Bazaar of Broken Dreams, King gets more in-depth than ever, talking about what inspired the stories in such an honest way that it couldn’t have come from another writer’s pen. Which brings us to …

4. Write what you know. Sort of. Sometimes

Write what you know is the most common writing tip you’ll find anywhere. It’s nonsense, really, because if we all did that we’d end up with terribly boring novels about writers staring out of windows waiting for inspiration to hit. (If you like those, incidentally, head straight for the literary fiction section of your nearest bookshop.) But King understands that experience is something which can be channelled into your work, and should be at every opportunity. Aspects of his life – addiction, teaching, his near-fatal car accident, rock and roll, ageing – have cropped up in his work over and over, in ways that aren’t always obvious, but often help to drive the story. That’s something every writer can use, because it’s through these truths that real emotions can be writ large on the page.

5. Aim big. Or small

King’s written some mammoth books, and they’re often about mammoth things. The Stand takes readers into an apocalypse, with every stage of it laid out on the page until the final fantastical showdown. It deals with a horror that hits a group of characters twice in their lives, showing us how years and years of experience can change people. And The Dark Tower is a seven (or eight, or more, if you count the short stories set in its world) part series that takes in so many different genres of writing it’s dizzying. When he needs to, King aims really big, and sometimes that’s what you have to do to tell a story. At the other end of the spectrum, some of King’s most enduring stories – Rita Hayworth & Shawshank Redemption, The Mist – have come from his shorter works. He traps small groups of characters in single locations and lets the story play out how it will. The length of the story you’re telling should dictate the size of the book. Doesn’t matter if it’s forty thousand words or two hundred, King doesn’t waste a word.

6. Write all the time. And write a lot

King’s published – wait for it – 55 novels, 11 collections of stories, 5 non-fiction works, 7 novellas and 9 assorted other pieces (including illustrated works and comic books). That’s over a period of 41 years. That’s an average of two books a year. Which is, I must admit, a pretty giddying amount. That’s years of reading (or rereading, if you’re as foolishly in awe of him as I am). But he’s barely stopped for breath. This year has seen three books published by him, which makes me feel a little ashamed. Still, at my current rate of writing, I might catch up with him sometime next century. And while not every book has found the same critical and commercial success, they’ve all got their fans.

7. Voice is just as important as content

King’s a writer who understands that a story needs to begin before it’s actually told. It begins in the voice of the novel: is it first person, or third? Is it past or present tense? Is it told through multiple narrators, or just the one? He’s a master at understanding exactly why each story is told the way it’s told. Sure, he might dress it up as something simple – the story finding the voice it needs, or vice versa – but through his books you can see that he’s tried pretty much everything, and can see why each voice worked with the story he was telling.

8. And Form is just as important as voice

King isn’t really thought of as an experimental novelist, which is grossly unfair. Some of King’s more daring novels have taken on really interesting forms. Be it The Green Mile’s fragmented, serialised narrative; or the dual publication of The Regulators and Desperation – novels which featured the same characters in very different situations, with unsettling parallels between the stories that unfolded for them; or even Carrie’s mixed-media narrative, with sections of the story told as interview or newspaper extract. All of these novels have played with the way they’re presented on the page to find the perfect medium for telling those stories. Really, the lesson here from King is to not be afraid to play.

9. You don’t have to be yourself

Some of King’s greatest works in the early years of his career weren’t published by King himself. They were in the name of Richard Bachman, his slightly grislier pseudonym. The Long Walk, Thinner, The Running Man – these are books that dealt with a nastier side of things than King did in his properly attributed work. Because, maybe it’s good to have a voice that allows us to let the real darkness out, with no judgments. (And then maybe, as King eventually did in The Dark Half, it’s good to kill that voice on the page … )

10. Read On Writing. Now

This is the most important tip in the list. In 2000, King published On Writing, a book that sits in the halfway space between autobiography and writing manual. It’s full of details about his process, about how he wrote his books, channelled his demons and overcame his challenges. It’s one of the few books about writing that are actually worth their salt, mainly because it understands that it’s about a personal experience, and readers might find that useful. There’s no universal truths when it comes to writing. One person’s process would be a nightmare for somebody else. Some people spend years labouring on nearly perfect first drafts; some people get a first draft written in six weeks, and then spend the next year destroying it and rebuilding it. On Writing tells you how King does it, to help you to find your own. Even if you’re not a fan of his books, it’s invaluable to the in-development writer. Heck, it’s invaluable to all writers.

fanaticfandomfaun  asked:

I am a huge fan of your style! It's absolutely lovely! How long have you been drawing and how did you develop your own style?

 ive been drawing my whole life! (always an odd question for me bc like…. yall stopped drawing after kindergarten? what did you do all day??)

as for developing style, my biggest piece of advice is just! keep! drawing! its been a bit hard to follow my own advice lately because my depression keeps fucking up my motivation and for the first time in my life i just dont feel like drawing, at all, ever. but if youre having similar motivational issues or if youre just starting out and you just arent feeling satisfied with your art, dont give up! the less you draw the harder it will be! i have a personal policy (that i dont actually remember to follow) where even if i dont want to, even if i hate how it looks, i have to draw at least once a day every single day. i swear it will improve your work if you do this. its hard, i know, i havent been doing it, but follow my advice not my example! (honestly im the embodiment of that quote “I give myself very good advice, but I very seldom follow it.” by Lewis Carol)

the other piece of advise i have is honestly…… steal art. 

“gasp! but Kate,” you say, “stealing art is bad and wrong!!” you say, “i know because of all those ‘art theft is bad and wrong’ posts i reblog!”

look. thats not what im saying, im not telling any of you to try to pass anyone elses art as your own, or use other peoples art without their credit. dont to that its bad and wrong. what im saying is LOOK at other peoples art and copy what they do. copying other peoples art styles is how every artist has learned for centuries. i started out drawing myself as a powerpuff girl or as a pokemon character just like everyone else. hell, i used to straight up print out and trace drawings i found on deviant art, which is a perfectly viable way to learn styles (muscle memory) so long as you dont try to pass it off as your own work then honestly its not stealing.

for example recently i was trying to draw these cat characters i had come up with, and i could not for the life of me draw these cats they were just turning out so ugly,

so i was like “well fuck this, i just need to find a simpler style” and by some kind of MIRACLE, while i was looking up drawings of cats i stumbled across this one blog, daily cat drawings. and it was like, holy shit this is it this is the exact style i need to draw my cats in. so first thing i did was try to follow some of their drawings exactly, not tracing but the closest you can get by sight. 

this is one of dailycatdrawing’s drawings:

and this was my attempt to copy it:

after i felt like i kinda had it down i drew that athena. NOT based off of any one of dailycatdrawing’s pieces, but still using the basics of their style. after that i felt confident enough using this style to draw the rest of my cats and they turned out great! naturally i had to draw hermes again because i couldnt just use such a blatant copy of another artists work, and it turned out even better than before!

which proves my earlier advice about how every single time you draw youre improving! its also important to note that even if you try to copy an artists style exactly you will probably never have it perfectly, and thats a GOOD THING! because it means that you arent truly stealing someone elses work, youre just using it as an example of ONE WAY a drawing can be good. by paying attention to MANY artists styles you can use all of them together to make your own unique style! even trying to copy dailycatdrawing’s style to a T i still ended up using elements from other artists and my own experience to change the style just enough to make it personal. looking at hermes’ face you can tell ive unintentionally taken some inspiration from lackadaisy’s art style, another artist i really admire. 

this turned out way longer than i meant it to, sorry, i always get so caught up in explaining things when people ask for advice. hopefully this helped someone!

anonymous asked:

Please please share your thoughts on Wonder Woman? Thank you! :)

ANYONE WHO WATCHED WONDER WOMAN (2017) DIR. PATTY JENKINS AND WASN’T COMPLETELY IN LOVE IS NOT TO BE TRUSTED

Some thoughts:

  • So we all knew it was going to be emotional to FINALLY have a female superhero movie, but the movie exceeded those expectations. The fight scenes were incredible and so focused on Diana and what she was capable of – the men basically weren’t even there. The fuckin no man’s land scene SAVED MY LIFE. Superhero movies are known for being heavy handed and this one didn’t escape that for sure (the love speech at the end was….a lot), but that scene was so well done…they didn’t have to stoop to some Éowyn knock off line of “I am no man,” we were allowed to just see her do what real women do - step up and do it. Even though that wasn’t the first time we’ve seen her in full Wonder Woman costume on screen, it felt like it was, like it was the first time I’d EVER seen ANY hero before and it took my breath away. By far the best Superhero Reveal Moment I’ve ever seen. My girl taking out bullets right and left, drawing fire from the entire German army!! Fuck me up!!!
  • You can’t talk about this film without talking about gender role reversals. Chris Pine was So Perfect and I think they really couldn’t have pulled the movie off if they’d cast any other white boy in the role. He was funny but genuine, capable but never arrogant, charming but not entitled about it. He learned quickly what Diana was capable of and respected her for it, always moving to the sideline during the fight scenes (the shield moment with the bell tower comes to mind - who needs a sniper when you can fuckin launch a god at the shooter??), knowing that these were her fights and never trying to mansplain her out of them. He wanted to protect her, but didn’t underestimate her - all the things that a typical female romantic interest does in these kind of movies. It was amazingly well balanced, so much so that I didn’t even mind the romantic sub plot. Plus he was almost entirely naked there, way to play to the audience my dudes!!!!
  • The historical context did the movie such a great service. The outward displays of sexism became so ridiculous when faced with Diana, who genuinely had never had to deal with the patriarchy’s bullshit before. It didn’t just make the men in London look pathetic and mean, it cast a large shadow over the way that women are treated today. 
  • The Dark DC Gradient™ on all the shots isn’t my favorite but it did Chris Pine’s fuckin bright blue eyes a huge favor
  • Gal Gadot was so fuckin good??? Not only was she beautiful, like really really distractingly beautiful, like I kept having to force myself to pay attention to the dialogue cause I, like Steve Trevor, could not stop looking at her (and she’s standing next to Genuine Stud Chris Pine and still?? SHE’S SO BEAUTIFUL). But she was way more then that, her performance was spot on. Diana was naive, commanding, strong, compassionate - while never being reduced down to just a one note version of these things. She felt so real to me, in a genre that spends very little time on character development. Even in the sappiest parts of the script, she sold it. She absolutely sparkled. 
  • Some of the best dialogue was the back and forth between Diana and Steve when she’s asking questions about mankind/London - it was cute and funny without being too overdone or obvious, which it easily could have been
  • The villains weren’t much to write home about, but they didn’t need to be. The movie was so laser focused on Diana and Steve that they really didn’t matter, you could self insert whatever you wanted to there
  • Themyscira is the ideal for I too want to hang out on the beach and never see a man again
  • Also that lesbian line, and how stupid male reviewers blindly did not understand it!!! Fuckin drag em
  • But also the fight scenes on Themyscira were INCREDIBLE. I wish that first section had been a bit longer just because I was enjoying it so much, but it was so refreshing to see all women on screen - women who fought and loved and supported each other. Incredible. 

I haven’t enjoyed, really enjoyed, to the point of not having to think about the message or the structure or how much fuckin time I’ve wasted listening to some male superhero talk about honor or some equally boring garbage, since The Avengers came out in 2012. Even then, Wonder Woman felt like something else entirely. It leaned on many of the same tropes and sequences, but there was enough reinvention in between (particularly the characters, who I felt were much more fleshed out then any superhero movie I’ve seen before) to make it feel fresh and exciting. This so easily could have been a throw away movie, a chance for movie execs to point and say, hey we tried with women that one time!! But Patty Jenkins, and Gal Gadot, and all the other women who worked on this incredible production, knew what was at stake, and weren’t going to let that happen. Every time I see a little girl dressed up as Diana Prince, on her way to the theater, my heart fills more and more. During the film, I found myself on the verge of tears five or six times - sometimes because it was so beautiful, to see a woman who felt so real being strong and vulnerable and saving the damn world, but other times because the plot itself genuinely moved me. Wonder Woman is revolutionary for the industry, sure, but more importantly, it’s just a damn good movie. 

Not sure why I’ve never noticed this before. It’s almost one of those things where I’m hoping it’s a continuity or script error that’s contradicted in another episode.

But in Episode 4, when Yuuri calls Celestino, he comments that he hasn’t seen Yuuri since the Sochi Grand Prix Final.

Which implies Celestino wasn’t there with Yuuri at the Japanese Championship (aka Nationals).

So that means Yuuri was so embarrassed after his GPF performance (and probably after getting drunk at the banquet) that he immediately walked away from Celestino. That didn’t happen after Nationals like I thought it did.

Yuuri faced Nationals by himself.

This sweet, beautiful, dumb baby child.

I love him with all my heart, but he really did need to learn that he had love all around him the entire time. He just kept hiding from it.

transcript of the speech i gave at Vassar’s black baccalaureate service

Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen, honored guests, and the Vassar class of 2017.
Just saying that aloud made me feel old. Class of 2017? Most of y'all were born after dark-skinned Aunt Viv left the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. That’s wild.

I want to first thank you for allowing me to be a part of such a special moment in your lives. I am honored, privileged, and a bit in disbelief that you asked me of all people to give this address. I try not to have feelings, and I’m going to do my best not to cry today, but no promises.

I’m here to stand in the gap between you and your parents and guardians and any other elders in your lives that you stopped listening to because you thought they were wack and out of touch. I remember being in your shoes not TOO long ago, and it is my fervent prayer that something that I say here today will help you avoid some of the mess I went through.
To be honest I’m a little nervous, but I figured there was no way could this be worse than when Betsy DeVos went down to Bethune-Cookman, so let’s get started.

As you transition to life after Vassar the changes will be both inevitable and swift, so I’d like to begin by giving you some well-intentioned advice and warning you about the continued process of becoming an adult.

Keep reading

Eric Richard Bittle is Jewish

Tw: mentions of antisemitism

Ok, hear me out. I know there is a lot of evidence pointing to Bitty being a good Southern Christian Gay and like, that is completely plausible and if that’s your jam, great! But because I love projecting and rubbing my Jew-y hands on everything, here is a theory about Bitty being an extremely assimilatory southern Jew who only really gets in touch with his culture and Jewish identity once he gets to college in the North East.

So I did some research and while “phelps” (Bitty’s maternal family name) isn’t the dead ringer that “Birkholtz” or “Zimmermann” is, it still has a history of being a Jewish surname in the Anglo-Saxon region. So to me, Bitty is Jewish on his mom’s side, but his paternal family is very southern Christian and so, really that’s what he grew up with, because being Jewish in the south? Well… that’s a whole thing.

My mom grew up in Atlanta Georgia, and in her high school, she was the only Jewish person by a long shot. My grandfather taught at Emory and so they didn’t belong to a temple, and went to Hillel sometimes during the bug holidays, but for he most part she wasn’t involved in religious affairs because it wasn’t “normal”.

I think something along the same lines happened to Bitty. His Moomah always made Jewish food for their family, but only made Southern food for company. At Chanukah, they would put up a Christmas tree, but put a Jewish star as an ornament and call it a “Chanukah bush.”

Bitty had a friend in second grade named Timmy who came over for a play date one day, only to never come back because his mom saw their mezuzah on the front door and forbid them from hanging out again. “Timmy doesn’t need to be influenced by that kind”

After that, well, Bitty stops asking his mama to make kasha varnishkas for his lunch (someone once told him it looked like he was eating pasta with dirt in it) and he stops going to temple on rosh hashana, and he starts calling his Christmas tree a Christmas tree. When someone tells him he “doesn’t look Jewish” he knows it’s a compliment.

The Monday at school after the Closet Incident, there’s a swastika keyed into his locker.

Because it’s one thing being the gay kid in a small town, it’s a whole other thing to be gay AND Jewish. It’s like he’s had two strikes against him since he was born.

When he moves to Madison he begs his mom not to put up a mezuzah. He can’t understand why she starts crying, but she doesn’t put it up. It’s a fresh start.

The rest of middle school and high school, Bitty secularizes.

When one of his teammates in his coed team tells him he’s acting “like a Jew” when he asks her for money for the team shirts, Bitty bites his tongue so hard he draws blood.

When all the kids in his tenth grade English class throw pennies at Mr. Bloom during his lecture on Eli Wiesel, Bitty stays after and helps pick them up.

Fast forward to freshman year at Samwell, and Bitty is hanging around the haus just before Rosh Hashana.

Holster is talking to Ransom and Jack about putting something together for dinner, maybe picking up some matzo ball soup mix and some ruggies from a deli near by.

Bitty, who shuddered at the though of soup coming out of a box blurted out without thinking “you know, I could whip up some of my grandmas matzo ball soup? And maybe some kugel?”

All three of the other boys look at him with wide eyes.

“I didn’t know you were Jewish Bittle,” Jack quirked a brow in intrigue.

“Well,” Bitty said, face heating up, “I- I’m not JEWISH Jewish. My mom is Jewish. My Moomah is Jewish, but ME? I don’t know.”

Everyone else seemed perplexed by this statement, but Holster’s eyes lowered a bit.

Bitty took that to mean ‘I hate you why would you say that you should just leave’ and promptly scrambled out the door, a whirlwind of “sorry got to go’s”

Later that week, someone knocked on Bitty’s dorm door, and that someone was Adam Jacob Birkholtz, certified Nice Jewish Boy and hulking mass.

“Uh, can we talk?” Holster asked a bit sheepishly.

Bitty agreed and lead them into his room.

Holster sat on his tiny bed and asked, “what did you mean before? When you said your mom and grandma are Jewish but not you?” It was tentative, but Bitty could tell the question wasn’t an accusation.

“Well I mean, I don’t really celebrate anything anymore. For all intents and purposes my house was a secular house all throughout middle school and high school.”

“But bitty,” holster sighed, “just because your half Jewish doesn’t mean you can’t be Jewish. And even if you aren’t practicing that doesn’t mean you can’t be Jewish either. I had a friend in high school that was half Jewish and people at temple would make him feel unwelcome. You don’t have to worry about that here.”

“Oh um, thanks? But it’s not that. Look, I know I’m Jewish. People have been making that clear to me for my whole life.”

“What do you mean?” Holster asked.

Bitty then began to regale all of the things he’s experienced. All of the prejudice, the slurs, the pennies, the swastikas. All of the pain that came with being the Jew in the south.

Holster listened, “Bits, that’s really rough dude. And like, I get it, some things are too painful. But it’s not like that at Samwell. Sure there are assholes everywhere, and it’s not like there’s never any antisemitism but, if you haven’t noticed based on the hockey team already, you aren’t alone here! There’s a whole Jewish community that’s got your back.

"Listen, why don’t you come to Hillel with me for Rosh Hashana, we can make your Moomas soup together! And maybe even Jack will help and not complain. Just, I don’t want you to have to feel like that about yourself.”

Bitty begins to decline the invitation but then something stops him. He remembers being a little kid, dipping apple slices in honey and chasing his mama around the house with sticky fingers.

“Alright I’ll go.”

And he does.
And he loves it.

He starts going to Hillel with Holster after that, and sometimes Jack tags along, sometimes so does Shitty. And in his Sophomore year, Nursey comes along with, and then his junior year comes Tango.

He makes matzo ball soup by the barrel, and re-learns the prayers for the Shabbat candles.

But it’s in his freshman year that he goes home for Winter break and pulls out the old Star of David ornament and puts it on the tree.

He asks his mom if he could help light the Chanukah candles and she looks shocked at first, but then she smiles and says “of course sweetheart.”

Later he hands her a present. It’s a long and thin box wrapped in silver paper with a little blue bow on top.

She takes it from his hand carefully, like its a shard of glass or something.

She opens it and It’s a silver mezuzah cover.

It’s a fresh start.

Our Little Secret-Part One

Summary: After a hunt and quite a few drinks the boys learn that you aren’t as ‘experienced’ in one department as they thought you were. Dean thinks he can rectify that

Series Masterlist

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader

Pairings: Dean x Reader

Square Filled/Kink: Oral Fixation for @spnkinkbingo

Word Count: 4700

Warnings: Smut, oral (male and female receiving), insecure reader, language

A/N: Thank you so much for reading. This is the first part of what I hope is a lengthy and smutty series. Any feedback is always appreciated. This is also for @emilywritesaboutdean and @wheresthekillswitch ‘s Do It Like TFW Challenge (The gif is near the bottom)

A thank you to my beta @ayeronda for betaing at an ungodly hour and being so wonderful.


It’s been a long ass day and an even longer hunt. You were more than happy to be sitting on Dean’s bed in the boys’ motel room, sipping on your second, or maybe it is the third beer. And that was just here, it wasn’t counting the four or five shots you had had down at the bar. So now you were here and Sam was riding Dean hard about his strikeout at the bar.

“Dude, you were never going home with her.”

“She doesn’t know what she’s missing out on.”

You can’t help but chuckle, “What? Two whole minutes?”

Keep reading

6

Hello my beautiful sugar babes!

I have the best boyfriend in the world. He surprised me with a eight week old golden doodle. I love this dog so much I don’t know what to do. He also ordered me a business platinum American Express credit card. And of course I still have his credit card on my Postmates, Uber, and UberEATS. He also ordered me HGH which is human growth hormone that is $700 a month. It’s supposed to make you skinny, your hair bomb, your nails amazing. Kim Kardashian and Madonna takes it. He’s in Las Vegas for a bachelor party for his brother and he’s calling me every few hours and face timing me. It’s so sweet. He’s so loving and kind. I’m so happy I have him.

I went to the Beverly Wilshire Hotel and I met this grandpa and he took a liking to me and he wants to help me in my professional career. He wants to publish articles about me so I can become famous in my career when people google me. I’m really happy I met him and I look forward to growing my professional career and maybe leaving the sugar bowl forever one day. I’m really happy with my boyfriend and I don’t really see a need to hustle guys if I can make a substantial amount of money in my professional career.

I went to Roku sushi restaurant in Los Angeles last night at midnight because I was hungry and these guys kept circling our table and when the bill came the waitress told us that one of the gentleman had paid for our bill. It was a $200 sushi tab so it was nice to get free dinner. This just goes to show that once again my proximity thing is true. You need to be around rich people to meet rich people. I highly suggest going to this restaurant there were so many rich guys there I went in my yoga clothes and Adidas slides. I literally ran out for a midnight snack now I know to dress a little bit better. He owns 40 brands of wines and lives all over the world. He invited us to attend the BET party and Yacht parties for 4th of July.

A guy asked me to go to a music festival with him in Chicago and he offered me $8000 for three days but I’m not sure if I want to go because it’s rock music and I prefer hip-hop and EDM. So I don’t know if I want to go and listen to music for three days that I don’t even like I don’t know if it’s worth it. I’m still thinking about it.

I work out at Equinox and this guy invited me to this Lamborghini and McLaren event. I guess these guys that own these $400,000 cars pay money to race their cars on the race track. There were so many rich as guys. I wish I could’ve invited you all.

Girls have been messaging me asking me where I met my guys and I met them at all different places here are some examples. These are the guys that take care of me monthly of course I have my guys that I see here and there but these are the guys I count on every month
• 30 year old Amex, takes care of my car insurance, work expenses, cell phone bill, unlimited credit card - Match.com
• boyfriend, Uber, UberEATS, Postmates, credit card, HGH, Equinox - Tinder
• $5,000 a month and all my Christian Louboutins - MillionaireMatch.com
• $5,000/ $20,000 a month Persian - Poker Game
• billionaire - Charity Event
Rich guys are everywhere so you got to keep looking.

I made some mistakes in the beginning in the sugar bowl so I wanted to share with you what I’ve learned and I hope I can save you some trouble
• always get the money and or gifts first. One of my first arrangements on SA The guy promised me $1000 for a meet and he gave me $500 after. And I didn’t know what to do so I just took the $500 I left and he promised me that he would give me the money later but he never ever did. I never made that mistake again. When I see my daddies I always say “hi babe did you bring my gift.” Don’t trust them and if they say something like “this feels to transactional” I suggest you should leave he’s probably going to gyp you. All my real daddy’s give me the money without making me feel guilty.
• only talk on the phone with them for 10 minutes at a time. Try not to call them let them call you. When I see that the 10 minutes it’s getting close I just hang up abruptly and say “hey I have to go” and I just hang up. If they want to talk to you they have to come see you. They know how to find you. Don’t worry. They didn’t die. They’re just busy. He’ll make time for you if you’re important but don’t force anything. My boyfriend told me I never called him once in 2 months. If I need to say something I save it for when I see him. Are used to make up excuses to text him. Like if I bought him his favorite Mountain Dew soda I will take a picture and send it to him. But I stop doing that and he has been chasing me ever since.
• only give him 75% of your love. My nail lady is like my therapist and she told me she’s been married for eight years and her husband still asked her to this day if she loves him. She gives me the best advice. She also asked me do I know which noodle house is the best noodle house in Korea? She told me it was a noodle house that serve the least amount of noodles. So be the noodle house that serves the least amount of noodles. That will make him coming back for more.
• always make sure your nails are perfect. I once was dating this really rich guy who owns all these medical marijuana dispensaries and he told me that he will not date a girl if one nail is broken. Now I know you may think that this is absurd but I’m talking about being a sugarbaby on a high level. In order to be a sugarbaby on a high level you need to look like it.
• you need to shower daily. I can’t believe that I have to even say this but one time I hug my girlfriend and I could smell her hair and my eyes almost white cross eyed. You don’t know how many times guys have told me that they love the way I smell I shower and wash my hair every day and I understand some of you guys because if your ethnicity that you cannot wash her hair every day but you need to figure out something to make sure you smell good and clean. And even after sex I will take a shower and guys always told me that they love me that I’m so clean.
• we are here to comfort our men if they’re having a bad day make sure you uplift them and make sure that you make them happy. One of the things I always tell my guys is I’m here to celebrate your success your happiness and your life make it about them. You can go home and complain to your girlfriends but your boyfriend is not the guy you are complaining to. We are here to celebrate their life and their success.
• I have never ever referred to any of my guys as my “sugar daddy” or asked for an “allowance” to their face. Behind their back I referred to them as my sugar daddy and stuff but to their face they think that I am just their regular girlfriend. This will build more trust and they won’t feel as used and they will probably be looser with their wallet if they feel like you’re not using them. You know they’re going to be very cautious of everything if they suspect anything. You’re going to make the most money if their guards are down so you need to build trust.
• this is also a tip from my nail lady but do not ever make them feel jealous. Even if you are dating multiple men do not let them now. Do not post fancy photos of food on your social media if they’re following you. They know that you were on a date.
• Now as I mentioned above to only give 75% of your love to them and only spend 10 minutes on the phone with them when you were with them in person you are the number one girlfriend. When I am with my boyfriend or any of my dudes and even a Rolls-Royce I don’t even look. My phone is in my bag the whole time I do not check my phone for social media or my text messages or anything. My dude has my full undivided attention. They are the king in my eyes (at the moment)
• I personally won’t introduce my girlfriends to my daddies or my boyfriend until things are really established between the two of us. You don’t even know how many girls will sideswipe you and try to fuck your boyfriend for a Chanel bag. So to save your relationship with your boyfriend and your girlfriends just make sure you and your boyfriend or totally establish before introducing them. You can’t really control what they are going to do but you can definitely control if they meet or not.
• as you guys know a lot of my dudes give me credit card. A lot of girls have been messaging me about this. To get a credit card they are going to need your real name, your birthdate, and your Social Security number. So it has to be definitely someone that you completely trust. My 30-year-old daddy and my boyfriend I know they would never do anything to hurt me. They’re the most nicest people on the planet and their goal is to just help me. So don’t give some crazy motherfucker your Social Security number just so you can get a credit card it might not be worth the trouble. But this is really nice in case they go out of town or something you don’t have to depend on them to deposit money into your bank account it’s just a credit card so you can just spend and they pay the bill. The other great thing is if someone gets you a credit card I can only benefit you never hurt you so let’s just say that they default and don’t pay the credit card it goes on to their credit but let’s say that they pay your $10,000 a month credit card like every month your credit will improve.
• always have your own separate income or business or school or like profession or something that you’re working towards. There is a very high chance that you are probably going to marry a really rich guy being in the sugar bowl you’re going to end up falling in love with one of them. But the thing is is you should still have your own thing. You could even be a part-time plastic surgeon. All my aunts married very wealthy men but they have never worked a day in their lives and their husbands cheat on them all the time and they’re just stuck in there miserable relationship. They are decked out in Ferragamo, Mercedes Benz, and have Chanel bags but they hate their lives. You want to be adored and loved. And you have to let them know that you know you could leave if you wanted to and I think they’ll treasure you more. The also respect you more.
• if you are having a slow season in your sugar game do not worry it happens to all of us that’s why you need to be dating multiple guys to make sure that you’re going to be OK. That’s also why I highly encourage you to save your money. If you need to buy stuff have your daddies buy it for you save all the cash that you get. And honestly if you can’t get a guy to buy it for you you probably don’t even deserve it. If you really wanted you will figure out a way to get a guy to buy it for you. While we are having lunch I’ll make them take me to Sephora go buy $300 worth of make up or say “babe can we swing by target? I’m out of TP” and but $200 worth of stuff. Or get my nails done with them.
• K girls you know my favorite save save save! Just because things are going really well with your daddy don’t get too excited. Guys have offered me all kinds of stuff and they fell short.
• which also brings me to another topic is don’t count your chickens before they hatch. Meaning guys are gonna promise you all kinds of stuff don’t really count on it until you have the money in your hand or in your bank account. And honestly I made the mistake of telling my friends and looking really stupid when the guy never even called me back. So keep this information to yourself and maybe later if they actually give you the money or the gift then you can tell your friends but even with that you were going to end up with a bunch of hater friends. They’re probably going to call you a hooker or something like that because they are so jealous. They probably can’t even get their boyfriend to buy them a $200 dinner. So they are really going to hate you if your boyfriend is giving you a $10,000 allowance plus the Mercedes-Benz, you get what I mean? In the real world not that many people will be happy for you. So be careful who you share your information with.
• and really girls if you want to be a sugar baby on a high level you need to look like it. Your hair, make up, skin, nails, clothes, style, everything needs to be on point. One time I saw my girlfriend who really wanted to be a sugarbaby on my level and she had open her purse and her purse was a freaking mess and her make up had busted and the make up was all over like her wallet and and her stuff. It just looks so freaking disgusting. I buy make up bags from the dollar store and if my make up bursts or breaks I just empty it out throw the make up bag away and I put it in the new make up bag. You need to be really clean for these guys. And this was also the girl that her hair smelled. I mean I’m just her friend observing and I already knew we both played in different sandboxes. She asked me if she could have my old daddies but none of my dudes would even fuck her for free.

I really want all of you guys to be really successful. I’m here to answer any questions and to help you with any of the stuff but you guys need to do your part and look your best and be healthy go work out and be the best you. Make sure you’re all there mentally, emotionally, and physically. I pray and I mediate a lot to get my spirituality and head space in the right place. I work out and eat organic food so I’m in a good mood.

Another thing is is my nail lady told me that you don’t have to be the prettiest girl in the world but you do need to have the best skin. Stay out of the sun it ages you it’s not good for you it will give you freckles and wrinkles. Use SPF every single day, reapply it all day, where a hat if you’re going to be in the sun.

If I actually become successful in my professional career I will probably quit the sugar bowl and just take my boyfriend exclusively. I am really happy with him and I’m happy with my new puppy. I love you all and I wish you all the best success in the world and I totally believe in you.

That’s another thing to make it in this field and anything else you need to believe in yourself. I open my arms and face my palms to the sky, face my heart to the sky and I say “I open my heart to receive love, money, and happiness”. I need you guys to start doing this so the universe knows that’s you’re ready for your whale :)


To all my daddies,

I want to thank you for all the luxuries in my life. I want to thank you for making sure my bills are paid, designer silk clothes, most expensive shoes and handbags, most exclusive gym membership, caring about my health, buying me healthy organic groceries, alkaline water, green juices delivered every morning, taking care of my eyelashes extensions, nail salon, eyebrows, skincare, spas, facials, hair salon, make up, plastic surgeries, laser hair removal, my new puppy, taking care of my puppy supplies and vet bills and thank you for taking care of me even when you’re away on a business trip. I will in return be the best girlfriend to you make sure you feel like a king. I’m so grateful I met you. I love you so much.

Happy Father’s Day Zaddy ❤️

Love,
Your Asian Sugar Baby

It’s not your ulcer

“I am not a diabetic. Look, this morning my blood sugar was 193 and I hadn’t even eaten anything. That’s not diabetes.”

“Ma’am, that 100% is diabetes.” This conversation quickly became a stalemate between ignorance and my inability to explain her diagnosis in a way she would accept. In fact, every conversation I had with her went this way. She was perhaps the most obstinate and oblivious patient I had ever met. And she was my patient. 

She had come in with the worst foot ulcer I have ever seen. It tracked all the way down to the bone, meaning an amputation was likely in her future. According to her, the ulcer had started a couple days before and she had never had an ulcer before in her life. I used my years of medical training to quickly deduce that a) there was no way that ulcer happened in a few days and b) she most definitely had two very bad looking ulcers on the other foot. When I pointed that out she became upset, telling me they were just split calluses, not ulceration. Every attempt to diagnose and explain the diagnosis was refuted by her “intimate knowledge of her own body.” 

The next several days were some of my most frustrating. I was called to her room for numerous reasons, including refusing insulin (because she wasn’t diabetic), refusing dressing changes (because she was allergic to the dressing), complaining that the hospital food was inedible and rotted, and yelling at nurses about their inadequate care. Each time I walked to the room and took my verbal lashings. I listened. I empathized. I did everything I could to put myself in her place and see the fear she likely felt about losing her foot. 

None of that was enough.

I am not sure if I have ever truly hated a patient. But with her, I came close. Despite my ill-feelings I spent hours coordinating her care between multiple surgical specialties, all of which wanted to pass on taking a non-compliant diabetic, vasculopath to the OR. Podiatry, vascular, and orthopedics all subtly yelled, “not it.” 

Several days into her hospital stay I expressed my frustration to my attending. “They are not your ulcers,” he replied. I looked back, confused, as he continued. “They are not your ulcers. If you care for every patient’s problem as if it were your own, it will destroy you. She got herself into this and she has to bear some responsibility for getting herself out. If she refuses to take our recommendations as to her care, there is nothing we can do. There are times you have to step back and separate yourself from the patient.”  

I have thought about his words a lot since then. In some ways if feels antithetical to my nature to see medicine as a job. But I have also experienced the severe mental fatigue and frustration that comes with trying to help a patient unwilling to help themselves. At the end of the day, how far should we go? How much time should I spend on one uncooperative patient knowing it takes time away from other patients who also need my services? In the end I did step back from the case and allow myself to see my care for her as something closer to a job. I switched off service a few days later and the last I knew she was getting an amputation, though she spent time fighting with surgeons about where they could cut.     

At some point we have to protect ourselves as physicians, despite how mentally strong we believe ourselves to be. This year has taught me a lot of medicine, but it has also challenged me mentally. I am still searching for the coping skills necessary to survive life as a resident and eventually as an independent doctor. Despite the frustration this patient provided, she did allow me some excellent learning in this area. In the end, I have to appreciate her for that.  

anonymous asked:

What do you think about an “i picked up your bag at the airport but i can’t find your number so i’m about to embark on the largest scavenger hunt of all time by using your strange belongings to track you down” au with charmer or nurseydex or zimbits or something??

Well, I don’t know if you expected three mini fics, and I didn’t fully follow the prompt, but here we are.

1. Charmer

Look, Chris knew it was dumb. He knew that everyone on earth had a plain black suitcase, he knew he should have double-checked the luggage tag, he knew it was important to be sure abut these things. But knowing what he should have done couldn’t help him when he finally got his suitcase home and opened it up to find mostly yoga pants and sundresses. 

Fuck.

He zipped the bag back up and flipped open the luggage tag. It was cute, pink with some metallic lettering saying “I’m outta here!” in a handwritten font. Chris blamed jetlag and the redeye flight for making him miss the fact that it wasn’t his Sharks tag. He blamed the bag’s owner for not filling out any of the information on the tag.

Dammit.

Well, sorry random girl, he thought. He opened the suitcase up again to try to see if he could find anything that would give him a clue as to who the suitcase owner was. He moved a makeup bag aside, and hit gold immediately. Well, Samwell red. A Women’s Volleyball tshirt– mystery suitcase girl had to be on the volleyball team.

“Hey Ransom!” he yelled. “You’re facebook friends with all the volleyball team right?”

“He’s friends with everyone on campus!” Holster yelled back.

“Ask their captain if anyone flew in from the Bay Area and lost their luggage!”

_X_

“Is Justin here? My captain said he’s got my suitcase.” Chris overheard her at the door. He grabbed the bag and started hauling it downstairs. As he set it down at the bottom and caught sight of the girl in the doorway, he froze. She was pretty. Like, really pretty. 

“Um, hi,” he said.

“So you’re Justin? Oh my god, I’m so glad it wasn’t some total rando who got my bag.” 

“I’m actually Chris, Justin was just the one who was friends with your captain. Um, I’m sorry, but I kind of had to look through your stuff? Your luggage tag wasn’t filled out.” The girl laughed.

“Yours wasn’t either! Me and my teammates were like one minute away from googling the record holder for most San Jose Sharks merch, but it totally makes sense that you’re on the hockey team.” 

“Since we both forgot to write our numbers down, maybe we should do that now?” Chris suggested. The girl grinned, grabbed his phone out of his hand, and opened up a new contact. She punched in a number, and when she handed it back he saw a text of several random emojis addressed to the new contact of “Caitlin Farmer” with a girl farmer emoji and a volleyball emoji.

“Text me sometime, and maybe we can get dinner?” she said, and she was gone with her suitcase. 

Chris collapsed on the couch, a dreamy look in his eyes.

“Chowder? You get your suitcase back?” Bitty called out from the kitchen.

“Yeah! and I think I’m in love now!”

2. Nurseydex

“Cheryl, I’m telling you, I had a ton of inspiration on the plane and I wrote some great stuff for act three. No. No, it wasn’t just me thinking it’s great because I popped some melatonin and got really sleepy. It’s like, legit. Yeah, I’ll send it over as soon as I get home and–”

Derek slammed into something. If he’d been holding his phone in his hand (bluetooth is a blessing when you drop stuff easily) it would have launched across the airport. As it was, his post-flight latte was soaking through the nice white shirt of the handsome stranger in front of him.

“Shit,” the stranger said, looking down to survey the damage.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I shouldn’t have trusted myself to make a phone call and not be clumsy after such a long flight,” Derek said. He set his briefcase down and pulled a wad of napkins out of the outside pocket. The guy took a deep breath, going from murderous to calm in a few seconds. 

“I wasn’t looking where I was going either, it’s not your fault,” the guy said, setting down his own briefcase and accepting the napkins. He blotted at his shirt.

“Let me pay for the dry cleaning. Or a replacement,” Derek offered. The man shook his head.

“It’s fine, it probably needed to go to the cleaners anyways.” He checked his watch. “If I run, I can probably get a new one before my meeting.” He wadded the napkins into one big ball, picked up his briefcase, and walked towards the exit with a terse nod. Derek, feeling terrible about the whole thing, picked up his own briefcase and walked to baggage claim.

By the time he was reunited with his home office, a cozy bookshelf-lined room in his brownstone, he had almost forgotten about the coffee incident. He was focused on sending the manuscript to Cheryl. Unfortunately, that was going to be difficult, considering he pulled a PC laptop out of the bag instead of his Mac.

Derek stared at the computer for a full minute. He almost couldn’t believe that this was happening to him. Hesitantly, he opened the laptop. On one side of the keyboard there was a weird thing that a few seconds of phone googling told him was a fingerprint scanner. Shit. He hit the space bar experimentally. Something flashed on the screen, and then was replaced with just a plain black screen with red text: ACCESS DENIED

Derek swore. He started to look through the rest of what was in the briefcase, but was disappointed to find it empty except for the laptop’s charger, three packs of gum, and receipts from a lobster shack in Maine. Shit. Nothing in here would tell him anything about the redhead he’d launched a latte at. 

He closed the laptop dejectedly, ignored his editor’s text messages, and went into the kitchen to make himself lunch and feel sorry for himself. This was the universe punishing him for covering a cute guy with coffee. If he had just kept his focus and waited to call his editor later, he could have sent the draft along and saved it and not be desperately trying to remember his inspiration.

Just as the self-pity spiral was really taking off, the doorbell rang. Derek sighed, put down his tea, and walked to the door. When he opened it, it wasn’t Girl Scouts or Jehovah’s Witnesses, but the guy from the airport.

“Cancel whatever you’re doing today, I need to teach you the most basic principles of digital security,” the guy said, pushing past Derek into the dining room. He shoved a stack of papers onto a chair and pulled Derek’s laptop out.

“I’m Will, by the way, I make software that’s hopefully a step ahead of viruses.”

“Is the draft still there?”

“The draft of what?” The guy looked confused.

“My third act breakthrough. I’m a novelist, I need to get it to my editor and I couldn’t remember if I saved it,” Derek explained.

“You know you can set up an auto-save every five minutes or so, right?” Will asked.

“This might be surprising to you, but I’ve never had a cute guy storm into my house and yell at me about computers before.” Will looked up from Derek’s computer, blushing.

“I haven’t had a cute guy dump a gallon of coffee all over me and steal my laptop before, either, but here we are.”

“Maybe you can yell about computers over lunch with me?”

3. Zimbits

Button downs. Tank tops. Slacks. Shorts. Three rolling pins. A pie tin. A half-emptied multipack of sharpies.

No lucky puck. No clothes in his size. No jerseys.

Jack sighed. It would just be too much to ask for anything to go well today. He picked up his phone to call someone with the Falconers, in the hope that they could talk to the airline and sort all this out. At the same time, his phone lit up with Tater’s face.

“Zimmboni! Look on twitter. Small internet baker has your suitcase!” Tater hung up before he could reply, so Jack just opened twitter instead. 

omgcheckplease: A bunch of pucks, some dirty jerseys, and a history textbook. Either I’m back in college or this isn’t my suitcase.

omgcheckplease: .@falcsofficial please tell your #1 player to DM me and come get his shit

omgcheckplease: and @falcsofficial tell him to give me my shit back. my hockey days are in the past, I need rolling pins, not a mouthguard

Jack smiled and laughed in the way a person laughs when they’re alone, just blowing more air than normal out of his nose. He looked through the twitter for a minute– the guy, Eric Bittle, was a Providence-based chef, whose latest tweets were mostly greetings to the various cities he’d been visiting on tour. Jack clicked the media tab on the account, and looked through the pictures. Bittle was cute. He wrote a reply.

zimmboni: .@omgcheckplease how do I send u a DM

omgcheckplease: .@zimmboni you don’t deserve to be verified, oh my god #verifybittle2k17

A few seconds later another notification popped up, and he tapped it to be brought to a DM window.

omgcheckplease: hey! sorry about the mixup. I can only imagine how confused you were to find all my book tour stuff.

zimmboni: Probably as confused as you were finding hockey stuff?

omgcheckplease: I wasn’t joking in my tweets, I did play hockey before I got into the whole cookbook/food show thing

zimmboni: Exactly, I did a book tour last year in the off-season :-)

omgcheckplease: oh my gosh, isn’t it the best and the worst?

zimmboni: I know. It’s great to meet people and talk about your work, but it’s exhausting.

omgcheckplease: that’s why I’m so excited to be back in Providence! at least until the next cookbook.

zimmboni: Well we should probably meet up to trade suitcases. Want to meet somewhere for dinner?

omgcheckplease: don’t trust me to learn where your house is?

zimmboni: I mean, if dinner goes well enough…

omgcheckplease: OH. okay, then, Mr. Zimmermann, it’s a date.

Jack smiled to himself, and got ready for his date.

A rare snake-related post by me-

I have had Vision, a dwarf BCI and my youngest snake, for roughly 9 months now. He will be a year old in July, so by snake standards he is still very much a baby. In the past 9 months, he’s gone from, for lack of better words, a bitey defensive asshole to a relatively passive and trusting creature who simply has Rules ™ on how, where, and when he can be touched. I used the same method to produce these results as I do with all of my reptiles, including my young snake of a notoriously aggressive and defensive species (Amazon Tree Boas) and have frequently been asked how I manage to get these animals that instinctively bite first and ask questions never to allow handling and pictures without drawing blood.

On my dog blog I’ve mentioned the concept of body autonomy a few times in relation to training dogs, and how it crosses over into husbandry in other species. In these posts I’ve detailed how I tame the larger birds at my job, how I teach my snakes not to bite me when I take them out, how I can successfully convince a thrashing dog to accept grooming without a fuss, how I teach cats to not turn into screaming demons for nail trims, and more. I also cover this in many of my dog training lectures at work as my students teach their dogs to allow grooming, nail trims, and medically related handling to prevent injuries and incidents when interacting with these animals. All of this relates back to body autonomy, and how we as humans have consistently ignored other species’ instinctive need to be autonomous.

I am no master animal trainer and do not play one on TV. I train pet dogs and service dogs and have begun to venture into competition, at one point I specialized in rehabbing aggressive and reactive dogs. I have trained various common pet animals in occasionally unconventional ways to do things that make life easier for the both of us, but I don’t claim to be anything special, because what I’m doing is not all that special. It is, however, uncommon for people to make these considerations with their pets and then they call in someone like me to fix a problem that didn’t need to start in the first place.

An example being: frequently on this website and others, the solution for convincing a biting snake not to bite you is to hold it still until it stops biting you. The snake will learn that biting you does not produce the desired result (you letting the snake go or putting it back in its cage) and thus will eventually stop biting you when you pick it up.

In the dog training world, we call this flooding and learned helplessness. It “works” because it produces what we wanted it to. The snake no longer bites when you pick it up. But it failed to address the root of the problem, and frequently if regular handling is not maintained the snake will return to biting you every time you touch it. The snake had learned that there was nothing it could do in order to make you stop doing what it didn’t like, and so had learned that it was helpless against the much larger human. The snake in this situation still doesn’t really want to be handled, it is merely tolerating it because it sees no other option.

While snakes have a much more primitive brain than dogs and thus a much more limited scope of emotions, aggression and violence are always expensive measures to use and thus are frequently considered last resort measures to make an unpleasant situation stop. They are costly in body resources- they take large amounts of energy, stress, and time to resolve, and wounds obtained from violence can become deadly with infection or severity. As a result, a bite should always indicate that whatever you are doing is so unpleasant to the animal you’re doing it to that they’re willing to risk their life in order to make you stop. The common pet snake knows it cannot win against an animal as large as a human. It is hoping you have not come to the same realization, and will not call its bluff.

This creates a problem. Like with dogs, backing off from a situation that is required after a bite will teach the snake that all they have to do to get you to leave them alone is to bite you. If I need to trim my dog’s nails, give him a bath, brush him, or have him examined by a vet, sure I could put him in a muzzle and force him to do it anyway, but it is counter-intuitive to teach him that all he has to do is bite me in order to get out of doing those things he may consider unpleasant. I need to be able to handle my snakes. This is not negotiable, just like the above things I do with my dogs are not negotiable. If I cannot handle them, I cannot check them for injury, disease, or distress. Backing off because my snake, or dog, has threatened to bite me is thus not a viable option. I must be able to complete the task, and the animal in question must let me.

Dogs, by comparison, are relatively easy to convince in this problem. I need to be able to do my dog’s nails. If I give him amazing treats on a good reward schedule, shower him with praise, listen to his body language to give him a chance to calm down and destress before pressing on, and remove my own negative emotions from the equation, he will learn to let me do his nails and even offer the position required for the task within a relatively short amount of time. He does not have to like having his nails done, but I can convince him to like he benefits he gets out of it. Cats and birds and small mammal pets like ferrets, rabbits, and rodents may be slower, but follow much the same way.

I can’t give a snake a treat. That’s not really how snake digestive systems work. I can’t give them a toy. I can’t give them praise. The subtleties of snake body language are much harder to read due to a lack of eyelids, ears, and limbs. Dogs, cats, birds, ferrets, all of these are social creatures that practice social bonding and feel an emotion similar to love (in the dog’s case, actually do feel love). Snakes are not social creatures and their brain is not capable of producing the chemicals involved in the emotion we call love. I cannot convince a snake to love me or to like being handled. That is not something their biology is able to do. Does that mean I have to rely on flooding and learned helplessness in order to get them to let me handle them?

I keep stressy species. While all reptiles are more than capable of stressing themselves to death, my current list of exotic pets includes a special needs ball python with a severe neurological condition, a brazilian rainbow boa specifically purchased from someone who breeds minimally stressy snakes because he got tired of the species’ reputation for being bitey assholes, and a dwarf bci locality (read: like a subspecies, but not different enough to get their own scientific name) known for being defensive bitey assholes. Previously, I had a special needs corn snake that was a defensive bitey asshole, an amazon tree boa that was remarkably handleable despite the species’ reputation for being aggressive and defensive bitey angry assholes, and a few foster ball pythons that came from neglect situations and had never been handled before leading to them being defensive bitey assholes. Stress is common in situations where aggression or violence is utilized, even if it is being utilized by the animal and not the human. If the stress from moving can kill my beloved ATB Hydra, why would I intentionally expose him to situations where he would feel required to use violence again and again until he learned that that was not a way out of the situation?

I did not flood my snakes. I hold them. They do not bite me. It has been a long time since any of them have even struck at me, and the majority of the bites and strikes I have received have been from when I was learning the snake in front of me or from me intentionally ignoring their body language and handling them a way I knew they didn’t like for whatever reason. Snakes do not bite without cause. Whether you, a human, can see that cause or not, snakes do not bite because they are vindictive or mean. As said, their brains are far too primitive to feel such complex emotions. Even wild snakes do not bite without provocation- whether you intentionally provoked them or not does not matter, simply whether they felt provoked enough to need to defend themselves possibly with their lives.

Vision came to me unsure of my intentions and of whether I could be considered safe. He certainly didn’t believe I should be picking him up. At two months old, the world is a scary place to a baby snake where nearly everything is bigger than you and nearly everything wants to kill or eat you. I do not blame him for doubting the warm giant cooing over him with grabby hands. To him, I’m sure I am some baffling mixture of hawk, bear, and wild canine. All of these things readily kill and eat snakes, all of these things may be persuaded to not kill and eat this particular snake if he bites them.

Instead of picking him up and allowing him to spend precious resources stressing himself to the point of repeatedly biting me- which hurts, by the way, so I don’t really want to be bitten any more than I need to be- I allowed him to show me things about him. I let him show me what he does when he’s nervous, when he doesn’t want to be bothered. I let him show me what he does when he’s curious and feels like investigating what’s in front of him. I let him show me how he does and does not like to be touched. Like many snakes, he seems to enjoy being scratched lightly under the chin. Like many snakes, he doesn’t seem to appreciate being tickled on the stomach. He prefers to create a “foot” about 2/3 down his body and use it as an anchored perch when exploring my hands. He does not want his tail to be touched. When he is nervous or unsure of potential danger, he will retract and coil himself into a loose ball. If pressed before he recovers, he will “expand” the “ball” quickly and vocalize. If he continues to be pressured, he will threaten to bite and will begin to try. If he is allowed to relax, he will recreate his “foot” and resume quietly investigating his surroundings.

Today, I took the lid off of his enclosure and lifted him out without a fuss. While this is not a first- we accomplished this task about 4 weeks in- only in the past few weeks has he not immediately retracted into his loose ball and required me to wait a few minutes for him to relax before touching him. Instead, he immediately made his “foot” and began to investigate, leaned against my finger as I scratched his chin, and maintained his confidence throughout the time I handled him. Sure, I could possibly get a similar result through the first method of flooding and teaching him that he is helpless against me, but I don’t need to. I can get a confident content snake that is not only tolerating my handling but also showing curiosity and intelligence without forcing him to accept my hands as things he has to deal with in his life.

The people espousing these methods always ask me how I managed to take such nice, interesting pictures of Hydra without bleeding- or joke about how much blood they think I lost inbetween shots- and are always surprised when I tell them that I don’t get bit because I understand a snake’s need for autonomy and allow the snake to tell me their “rules” for being touched and then follow those rules or understand if I break them I will get bit. As a result, I don’t break their rules unless I have to, and thus I don’t get bit unless I have to. This allows me to handle and investigate my snakes, look in their mouths, check their vents and between their scales, touch their heads, and rescue them from fluke accidents such as Quetzal’s injury with his decor without the snake taking their frustrations out on me. It also allows me to take some pretty pictures of them outside or on props without worrying how I will retrieve them without being bitten when I’m done. 

anonymous asked:

If you kill Leliana in Origins, does she still appear in inquisition? My friend just introduced me to Dragon Age and I was reading a walkthrough for the Urn of Sacred Ashes and I found out you could kill her. I don't want to but I'm just curious if you kill her what happens in inquisition

Spoilers inbound, for obvious reasons.

While I’ve never played a world state in which I’ve killed Leliana, I have to say that it’s turned into one of the more intriguing mysteries of the DA canon… because killing her does not stop her from appearing in DA2 and Inquisition.

In this scenario, Leliana’s next appearance is in Kirkwall. When Hawke meets her, they comment on the fact that they’d heard she was dead. Her response: “The Maker knew it was not my time. There is more for me to do in this world.” They don’t really elaborate further. Most people brushed it off as a simple retcon.

In Inquisition, when she’s in Haven praying for understanding and bitterly angry with the Maker for allowing the Conclave to happen, she explains a little more:

Leliana: Once, I was sure I died. I did die. Who else but the Maker could’ve resurrected me? But if he didn’t save me to help the Divine, then why? Why am I still alive?
Herald: Wait, you died?
Leliana: It was right there at the temple by the Urn of Sacred Ashes. We found the Urn, proved the legends were true. But the Hero of Ferelden corrupted them, and all I wanted at that moment was vengeance. It was a fight I couldn’t win, but I didn’t care. And the “hero” struck me down. I awoke later in agony. The ashes were gone. I can’t explain how I survived. 
Herald: You can’t have been raised from the dead. That’s… absolutely… just… no.
Leliana: Believe what you want. I’m still here.

Then, at the final epilogue at the very end of Trespasser, we learn what has to be the strangest piece in the Dead Leliana puzzle:

Eventually, Leliana became distant and contemplative, often secluding herself in the rookery with none but her ravens for company. One morning, the residents of Skyhold awoke to a great beating of wings and a vast cloud of ravens blotting out the sky above the fortress. Those who investigated found both the rookery and Leliana’s chambers vacant, with only a single message as explanation: “The lyrium sang thought into being. Now time is stale, and the melody is called elsewhere. Until I am needed. I am free.”

We don’t have a lot of information to really illustrate what this means - so far, this is the first concrete example we’ve seen of magical resurrection of this sort in the series. The lyrium “song” she references is present elsewhere in the canon - both Justice and Cole say that lyrium sings to them, the former saying that it does not do so in the Fade but only in the waking world. Dwarves find veins of lyrium to mine by listening to the Stone “singing”. In Asunder, Rhys says the song that he hears when entering the Fade is so strong that he feels as though he is “about to vibrate out of existence.” In The Descent, it is referred to as the “Titan’s hymn” and a titan communicates to Valta through song.

But seeing that song bring someone back from the dead? That’s new. 

It’s unclear if the Leliana we see in Inquisition is even the “real” Leliana in that worldstate or if she is something else altogether. It’s possible that she is something more akin to Cole who, before the events of Inquisition, truly believed he was the mage who died in the Spire. He had Cole’s memories, his traumas, his same grief and fear. Cole can bleed, he has a physical form that can fall in battle, so the fact that Leliana can be tortured and killed in the Dark Redcliffe Future doesn’t eliminate the possibility that this theory could be true. She could be a spirit that only thinks it’s a human woman… or she could be a magical construct that was newly created specifically to fulfill her role in this story. Of all the characters in Dragon Age, Leliana has made the most appearances throughout the narrative and arguably has had a repeated impact on the fate of the world. She helps the Warden stop the Blight, she assists the Divine in conspiring against the Templars and find a cure for Tranquility, she raids the White Spire to free the mages trapped there at the start of the Mage/Templar war, she pressures Celene into stopping the elven uprising in Halamshiral (which, in turn, places the Empress within a trap set by Gaspard that officially starts the Orlesian Civil War). She aids the Inquisitor in stopping Corypheus and can eventually become Divine - arguably the most influential person in Thedas. 

She’s had a hand in many of the major conflicts of the past decade in Thedas, having only started on this path because she dreamed the Maker had called her to it. And even if she’s killed, it still doesn’t stop her from fulfilling her role in history.

It makes me very curious who or what is exactly pulling the strings in that regard… because it certainly seems like someone or something in-world had a very specific plan in mind for Leliana. 

Q&A Cristina, Kieran, Mark and the politics of trust

“clockwork-artifices said: Hello, Cassie. I<3 Cristina, so i wanted to ask about her. She’s been described as someone who’s been hurt and betrayed in the past (and recently), therefore she doesn’t really trust people that easily now, so with that in mind i couldn’t totally understand 

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