i did not say anything

hello. i am awake. i freaked out and screamed for them to let me out and please not do this and started swinging, so i got held down by three doctors and injected with something to halt my powers. JUST LIKE THE MOVIES!!!! they stole my teeth but only the ones they were supposed to. my face feels like it got reorganized and maybe my bottom lip is where my chin should be? but when i check the mirror, i look the same. bummer! to my knowledge i did not say anything embarrassing or unsightly, likely because i was too scared out of my mind to open my mouth (or eyes) until i got in the car. apparently there were “complications” and i woke up in the middle of the procedure, which they apologized profusely for, but i dont fuckin remember it bc i was snnzzzzzz so they shoulda kept that tidbit to themselves. all in all 3/10 would never fucking repeat but technically it did go almost perfectly save for me awakening with 10000 knives in my mouth

Family Pictures

A/N This was written for @hopelesslyhemmings, and I thought I would share it. 

Word Count: 1155

“You’re making us do what?” Shawn and Cole exclaim at the same time.

“Well, I figured that because we’re together all the time and everyone gets along so fantastically, that we should get family pictures done. I also want to get pictures with the twins before they start the busy stage.” Kaytlin explains to the two confused men. I just laugh.

“You do realize, that the two of you have no say in this right? Whatever Kaytlin says, goes.” I say to both my husband and Shawn.

“But –” Cole starts, but I cut him off.

“No buts. And nothing out of you either, Shawn.”

“How did I get thrown into that? Darrien, I didn’t say anything,” Shawn tries to explain, but I’ve known him too long.

“You were thinking of ways to get out of this, I know you. And I also know the stupid faces you make when trying to get out of something,” I say as I squint my eyes at him. “Yet again, you always make stupid faces.” Cole and Kaytlin are sitting on the ‘L’ shaped couch laughing, each holding a sleeping twin, while I stare down Shawn. He glares back.

“I wasn’t trying to –” Shawn starts, but I cut him off.

“I said, nothing out of you.” I say. Kaytlin just sighs, and then intervenes.

“Baby, Darrien may be 5’2, but she’s good at getting what she wants. You should know this. You’ve only known her for like what? 9 years?” Kaytlin says to Shawn, with sarcasm dripping from her voice. He just laughs.

“Can I –”

“No.” I deny.

“I wasn’t asking you Darrien. I was going to ask Cole, if I could have my child back.” Shawn says, reaching for his baby girl, putting the emphasizes on my name. The twins were born around 8 months ago, and little Leah, has both Shawn and Cole wrapped around her finger. Andrew, just sleeps wherever is comfortable to him.

“Yeah, I guess. I mean, she is your child. I remember when Rosie was that small. She would fall asleep on my chest, and wouldn’t move. Speaking of which, where are the rest of our children?” Cole asks, handing a still sleeping Leah, into the waiting arms of her dad. As soon as Leah is placed into Shawn’s arms, she snuggles up to his chest, and let’s out a little sigh. He just runs his finger gently across her cheek.

“Well, the last I remember, Briar-Rose and Lily were up in Briar’s room, and Logan and JJ, were downstairs.” I say, trying to figure out if I’ve heard any footsteps in the past few minutes. My mind has been else where all day today.

“I’ll go gather them up. I think it’s almost lunch anyway,” Cole says walking past me, stopping just quickly enough to lean down and press a soft kiss to my forehead. I close my eyes at the sensation of his lips.

The only thing I can think of, is the pregnancy test I took this morning. I never got a chance to look at it, before Shawn, Kaytlin and the kids showed up.

“You know what I’m really craving right now? Some deep-fried pickles and some mozzarella sticks. Oh, and pepperoni. I don’t want pizza though.” I say, rubbing my stomach. Greasy foods have been my go to lately.

“Do you want the whole deep fryer too?” Shawn asks, and we all laugh.

“You know, that does sound pretty good.” I say back.

“Have you been feeling okay lately?” Kaytlin asks, concern dripping from her voice.

Just then, we hear 3 sets of feet running towards the livingroom. Cole carrying both Lily and Briar-Rose.

“Aunty Lin!” Logan screams as he sees Kaytlin sitting on the couch and starts walking over to her.

“Shh, bud. The twins are sleeping. You don’t want to wake them, do you?” Cole says, placing Lily and Briar on the ground. Lily goes and walks towards Shawn, and Briar comes walking up to me. JJ is still standing beside Cole.

“Hi, baby,” I say as I pick Briar up.

“Hi, mommy,” she says as she lays her head on my shoulder.

“So, Aunty Lin?” Logan asks Kaytlin as he sits beside her on the couch. “Dad said you’re making us do something horrible.”

“Cole!” Kaytlin scolds him. “Logan, what we’re doing isn’t horrible. We’re going to be taking pictures together, as one big happy family.” She says.

“When exactly are these family pictures happening anyway?” Shawn asks, looking down at Leah, still fast asleep.

“4.” Kaytlin says. Shawn lifts his head up quickly to make eye contact with his wife.

“Like 4 o’clock today?” Kaytlin nods her head yes. “You gave us a 4-hour window? How are we supposed to look presentable in 4 hours?” Shawn explains.  

“Oh, I don’t know Benito. You are the famous one here. How are we supposed to do it?” Kaytlin asks, laughing.

“What am I? Chopped liver?” Cole says offended.

“Right. Sorry Cody Martin,” Kaytlin laughs and Shawn and I join in on her laughter.

“Okay, rude.” Cole pouts.


“Okay, kids are in bed, and asleep.” Cole says exasperated, as he drops into bed. I barely acknowledge him. After the family pictures were done, we all went out for dinner. When Cole and I came home, he went to put the kids to bed and I went to shower. After I finished my shower, I remembered the pregnancy test and looked at it. Positive. I was shocked, but happy. Cole and I never really talked about having another child. So here I was, laying in bed, trying to figure out what do to. Where to put the new baby? Would we have to move? Was the baby going to be a boy or girl? What should we name the new baby? And then my mind wandered to Kaytlin’s question today. “Have you been feeling okay lately?” Maybe she could tell, I mean she was pregnant three times.

“Hey, what’s on your mind?” Cole asks as he wraps an arm around me and pulls me closer to him. I go to tell him nothing, but my mouth has other plans.

“I’m pregnant.” I blurt out. Jesus fuck. Cole doesn’t say anything for a few minutes, so I turn to look at him. He’s looking up at the ceiling, smiling so big.

“I take it, you are very happy about this new information?” I ask him, as smile gradually appearing on my lips.

“Very. Oh my god. Ever since Leah and Andrew were born, all I could think of is having another baby. Have their tiny fingers wrap around my long ones. Have them fall asleep on my chest like Rosie, and Logan did. I just, I just. Wow.” Cole rambles and I couldn’t be more ecstatic.

“Celebratory sex?” I ask him, biting my lip.

“Holy fuck, this day just keeps on getting better!”  

7

THE WAY THESE TWO TALK ABOUT EACH OTHER WILL SINGLEHANDEDLY CAUSE MY DEATH.

Love potions but like nothing happens

♡Don’t imagine Keith or Lance accidentally drinking a love portion
♡They don’t know it’s a love potion just a tasty drink
♡Shiro rushes over to tell them but is stopped by the fact that neither of them are really reacting? ??
♡they look to be fine? Pidge what the heck u said they both just took a super strong love potion that would have them heads-over-heals for each other????
♡they. .. did ??? They should be smitten as kittens right now? ??
♡they decide to step back and just watch the two for side effect
♡they wouldn’t let their teammates suffer under the lack of control of a love potion but… if it was a dud or something???
♡then no need to worry them right?
♡so the days go on and. ..
♡nothing
♡the Red and Blue paladins argue, bicker, make fun, and spar with eachother as they do everyday
♡pidge and Hunk keep a close eye on them tho
♡"so like??? Did the potion not work???“
♡"or maybe they already???”
♡"omg"
♡"they already like eachoth–!“ Pidge has to practically climb Hunk to throw a hand over his mouth so Lance and Keith don’t hear him
♡this was in fact not needed as it seemed the Red and Blue paladins where completely 100% focused
♡on eachother
♡the day comes to an end along with the timer pidge set for how long the potion would last and…
♡nothing changed
♡and nothing happened

anonymous asked:

What If one of the fakes had a high school reunion or something like that and just took the crew and it somehow ended in a shoot out with the cops.

Let’s just be clear, it’s not a pride thing. Geoff has never cared what people said about him, not outside a professional sense anyway; he knew exactly who he was, what he was capable of, even before he’d taken an entire city to its knees. So it’s not that he felt the need to prove himself, it’s just that there’s something particular about high school trauma, isn’t there? Something that lingers, even when it shouldn’t, something that emerges from even the most upstanding adults when thrown back together for a reunion, the bullies and the bullied, all desperate to show what they’ve become.

Geoff’s last high school was nothing like he’d ever been to before, a snobby upper-crust hellhole he was only in because his Ma’s third husband pulled some strings, and the other students were quick to point out just how much he didn’t belong. Between the tattoos and the smoking, the lazy looks and slow sneering drawl, it was always all too easy to label Geoff a loser, a drop out, trailer park trash everyone knew would be washing their cars one day. Never mind that he scored higher than most of his cohort even when skipping more or less every class, never mind that he is possibly the most well-read crime-lord in the country, back then he had an image and teenagers are relentless. Not that Geoff was all that phased even at the time, only a year or so away from the day he picked up his first gun and never looked back, but it’s the principal of the thing.

So when an invite forwards through from an email so old he’d forgotten he’d even made it Geoff has to laugh. Then pause, consider, hatch an utterly ridiculous idea, and laugh some more. Because he might not care, but that doesn’t mean he wouldn’t enjoy ruining the night for all the pathetic stuck-up nobodies he went to school with; rubbing your success in everyone’s faces is what reunions are for, after all. The fact that it has a theme, that it is masquerade of all things, really just cements Geoff’s resolve to drag his crew halfway across the country into one of the strangest nights of their lives.

Everyone knows the option to bring a guest to these events is, in reality, the offer to bring a romantic partner, singular, but it isn’t technically stated. There are no rules barring Geoff from RSVP-ing for 7, so that’s exactly what he does. Sure he receives a few increasingly less polite emails suggesting he’d been mistaken but he doesn’t even bother opening them, doesn’t try to clarify that he is bringing his friends, his family, not his entire harem. Let them talk; they’d do it anyway. Plus, it’s not like the Fake’s aren’t all entirely too pleased with the suggestion, cackling hyenas who spend the next few weeks laying it on thick, batting their eyes and blowing Geoff kisses, picking out increasingly absurd meet-cute stories to tell his scandalised classmates. Between creating new identities and playing dress up in masks and suits they couldn’t be happier.

Masks or not they catch every eye in the room when they make their entrance and why wouldn’t they; Geoff and his unusual request must have been the talk of the rumour mill and identity hidden or not clearly this must be Geoff, it’s not like anyone else brought along 6 dates. As stage whispers hit a dull roar it’s obvious no one was prepared for what they were seeing, perhaps imagined instead stained tank tops and a string of strung-out baby mama’s, not expensively tailored suits and an attractively refined entourage. Paying the noise no heed Geoff swans into the room with Jack looking elegant on one arm, Gavin at his most Ken-doll glamorous tucked under the other, flanked on either side by Ryan, Michael, Jeremy and Ray, all dressed to impress.

Shock and jealousy aren’t good looks on anyone, let alone rich brats turned elitist yuppies, so Geoff’s classmates behave just as poorly as he’d anticipated, years and newfound maturity doing nothing to stop the tittering laughter, the sneers and judgmental looks, fake pleasantry and condescending questions. But then, his crew didn’t exactly play nice with them either.

Ray and Jeremy immediately beeline to the food table and bar, respectively, and each set themselves up and settle in for the night; loud, obnoxious and tactlessly talking about everyone around them. When asked about themselves or their relationship to Geoff they’re both frustratingly vague, Jeremy chattering away without saying much at all and Ray simply staring people down until they can’t bear the tension.

Michael and Ryan set off together to explore the room but quickly separate to accommodate their vastly different methods of surveillance. Ryan skulks into the background, ducking numerous attempts to catch his interest in favour of fading into unlit corners and empty nooks, frightening the life out of anyone trying to slip away for some private time. Michael, on the other hand, seems determined to be the life of the party, cheerfully making conversation only to laugh in the face of every so-called achievement, ruffling feathers and causing major offence wherever he goes.

Gavin slinks off like a man on a mission and doesn’t come back for over an hour, offering no explanation for the absence beyond a dangerously self-satisfied smirk. His work becomes obvious soon enough anyway, once the yelling starts; Geoff’s two main high-school tormentors, mentioned only in passing stories over the years, simultaneously having huge, public, relationship-ending blow ups with each of their significant others. What are the odds? Across the hall Gavin laughs, all tinkling glass and sparkling charm, smoothly working the room like Michael’s mirror opposite.

Jack stays at Geoff’s side all night, hackles raised into something abnormally cold and unimpressed any time someone comes up to speak to them, protective instincts in full force no matter how often Geoff claims to be unaffected. He fills her in on all the worst gossip about those who approach, and as the night progresses and general unease begins to spread Jack mellows, sinking back into something sweet and mocking, somehow even more unsettling playing docile arm-candy than she was rabid guard dog.

Throughout the night the Fake AH Crew remain a key topic of every casual conversation; they might have been regardless, even this far from Los Santos no one can get enough of their scandals, but with the huge heist pulled just last week there was no way to avoid it, everyone has their two cents, their praise and condemnation. It’s too funny, the whole crew killing themselves trying not to break character, to laugh or correct or manipulate the conversation but all their self-control is well rewarded in the end.

Half the room removed their masks less than an hour into the night; too difficult to eat and talk and drink in, too vain to keep their hard earned looks covered, so it’s not at all strange when the Fake’s start to follow suit. Jeremy and Ray start it, the newest member and the one caught on camera the least often, casually dropping their masks mid-conversation. They each get a confused squint or two, a double glance, a few individuals trying to place them, remember how they’d met before, why they were so familiar.

Next came Gavin and Michael, having goaded each other out onto the dance-floor they were playing as much as they were moving to the music, laughing and grappling and generally making a bit of a scene. They snatch off each other’s masks as they play and the looks double, because alone they’re each distinctive but together, together, people have seen those faces together, somewhere they’ve seen them and so often together..

Last is Jack and Geoff, more graceful than their counterparts and moving with far more purpose they reveal their faces in the centre of the room and, like a party trick, they instantly catch the whole room’s attention. Out of context, in ones and twos where they don’t belong, the members of the FAHC could be mistaken but no one in the country would fail to recognise Ramsey and Patillo, the kingpin and his right hand, rulers of the most well-known gang in the US. And here they stand, casually mingling at a high school reunion.

In the calm before the storm the crew gravitates back towards one another, can almost see the cogs turning around them, the lightbulbs flickering on in a slow ripple spreading out across the room, disbelief and the first hint of horror swirling together as people start unconsciously reaching for their phones. As Ryan slips back out and wanders over, the last still masked, always masked, the chatter seems to crescendo then crash into something still and almost silent as a room full of entitled trust-fund babies recognise their own terror.

Finally uncovered and flanked by his family Geoff’s grin creeps across his face, slow and violent and more confirmation than anyone needed as he lets the oppressive tension sit for a long moment, arms spreading out to his sides like a magician revealing a clever trick before he breaks the silence; Surprise motherfuckers.

Guns are pulled from jackets and from there it’s all running and screaming, no honour or courage, just a stampede for the exits to the sound of cackling laughter and the occasional aimless pot-shot. The Fake’s aren’t looking for lives, not worth the hassle really, and this job certainly has no monetary reward beyond the wallets Geoff’s filthy little thieves have no doubt absconded with, but the fear in the air is delightful and even the sound of incoming sirens can’t ruin the mood. If anything it only hypes them up further, all savage grins and ramping excitement as they make for doors, reloading their weapons and pumping themselves up for a whole new police force to terrorise, Geoff’s magnificent little miscreants.

On the way out they pass a wall of yearbook photos, blown up large and captioned with names and all the old superlative awards. Ryan stumbles to a halt and snorts, snatching one off the wall and tucking it into his jacket to take back to the penthouse, though not before flashing the Lads a glance at that all too recognisable face, sending them into peals of screeching laughter as they pour out into the night. Geoffrey Fink; Least likely to succeed. 

Nobody is perfect. The world is cruel.

Inspired by this video of Yuzuru tripping over nothing.

2

I got this idea, and I thought I was going to regret it, but about halfway through making it I realised that I don’t regret it at all.