i did not like this film but i have to admit it had a few funny moments

shiraw  asked:

43. “Are you drunk?” Paperhat :3. I love your writing too. You're just amazing!!

“Are you drunk?”

Dementia stepped into Dr. Flug’s private quarters cautiously. She eyed the empty bottles of cheap beer scattered across the floor, and then her friend, who sat slumped over at his desk. Slowly, she picked her way over to him, and laid a hand on his shoulder

“Flug are you-” Suddenly, Flug snapped to attention, nearly falling backwards out of his chair, and staring at Dementia through fogged up goggles. He stammered out,

“Wha? What are you… oh…”  He reached up under his crinkled bag and rubbed at his eyes. “HEy, DementiA!”

“Ah jeez, Flug, how much did you drink?” Dementia asked. The doctor held his hand in front of his face and tried to count on his fingers.

“Uhh… one, two…. Three??? Four. Maybe 5?” he muttered. Then Flug lurched in his chair and stood up to face Dementia. “ ‘M not sure!”

Taking another look, Dementia noticed their were were only 3 beers that were actually empty on the floor; she sighed internally in relief.

“All right, how ‘bout you sit down and we can have a lil’ chat,” she said. Then she guided her friend back into his seat, and hoisted herself onto his desk. “Why’d you feel like drinking?”  

Flug slammed him face down onto the desk with a loud THUNK, and groaned. His next ‘words’ sounded as if someone had managed to say a keyboard smash out loud, which caused Dementia even more concern.

“FLuuuuuuuggggg, what’s happening in that super smart noggin?” The doctor shifted so he could look the girl in the eye.

“Toooooo, many feeeeeelings, Dem,” Flug slurred.

“What KINDA feelings?”

“Heart stuff, like, bang bang in my chest and uhhhhhhhh, ya know?” Dementia was trying so hard not to laugh, but the way Flug was looking at her like he’d just revealed some big secret made her double over with laughter.

“You have a crush on someone!! Oh my gosh are you serious!? That’s why you’re drinking!!??” Even with his bag on, Dementia could tell that Flug was blushing, as the skin disappearing under the bag’s fringe was turning pink.

“I-its not f-funny DEM!” Flug shouted and folded his arms tightly across his chest like a pouty child. “I *hic* don’t want to feeeeeel things about him.”

“HIM!!!??? HIM!!!!!” Dementia jumped off the desk and began to bounce in front of Flug on tip-toe. Flug made that keyboard smash sound again, then promptly fell out of his chair and began to roll across the floor in no particular direction, just to get away from Dementia. She followed close behind. “Unless you’ve been getting out of the house Flug, which I KNOW you haven’t, there is ONE him in this house and-”

“StttoooooOOOOPP,” Flug groaned and slapped his hand up at Dementia’s face, then curled into tighter ball on the floor.

“I can’t believe this!”

“I’m gonna kill yah… and then ‘M gonna drown myself with drink.”

“No you’re not, silly! You and I are gonna swap stories about Blackhat now, and both reminisce over our mutual love for him! Although…” Dementia laid down and next to Flug and rested her chin on his shoulder. “Your ‘love’ is probably more genuine than mine, come to think of it. You’ve worked with him longer, know him better than any of us, and honestly sometimes I think I like him just cause he’s the only person around worth liking!” Flug glared at Dementia over his shoulder.

“I find that offensive, “ he huffed. Dementia made a gagging noise and then pushed him away from herself.

“That wasn’t meant to say you’re not worth liking, ya dolt. Just that you’re more like a brother to me or something,” she said. “Or like, you’re my best friend, and it would be weird to like you.”

“Yeah, whatever, Dem….” For a moment, Flug fell silent, as if he had snapped out of his slightly drunken stupor and become very much aware of what was happening all around him.

“What do you mean by all that though?” he asked quietly.

“Well, I guess I mean what you’d probably have a chance with Blackhat. I mean, I see the way that he looks at you after filming, when you’ve gotten hurt in some way? He seems worried, and he always tells 5.0.5 to check on you. A few times, I’ve even caught him checking in on you’re while you sleep, or carrying you to your room if you crash in the lab. He’s gentle in those moments, and I never see him like that anywhere else, or with anyone else.” Dementia crawled over Flug’s prone body to curl up facing him.

“You see, he acts really tough, but I’ve seen him with genuine fear in his eye over losing you. That one time you got kidnapped and held for ransom, he acted cool and collected when giving 5.0.5 and I instructions, but I saw him tearing apart everything in his room afterwards in rage. He… he almost killed me when he learned that I had failed to protect you…but you see, I know he cares for me too, ‘cause he didn’t. And later, when we got you back, he patted me on the back and said ‘you’re forgiven, but don’t let that happen again.” Dementia rolled onto her back, so he didn’t have to see the way that Flug was staring at her through his goggles.

“Now, you may say that Black hat just cares about you because you make him money, but… I don’t think that’s it, Flug. We’re his family in a way, and he won’t ever admit that, but we know it’s true. “ Dementia giggled. “I’m his annoying little sister, 5.0.5 the overly affectionate pet, and you? You mean the most to him, you’re… what he wishes was his love.”

The room fell silent.

As Flug’s gaze bored into the side of her head, Dementia grew increasingly uncomfortable, until she shot up to her feet and shouted,

“Well you know, I’m probably actually a lesbian for all I know!”

That got Flug laughing.

“Hey don’t laugh at me, mister! I have seen, like one girl, and she was hella hot okay! I saw her outside and was just like ‘wowie! Look at that artwork strolling down the street! Hey! It’s not FUNNY!” Flug was wheezing with laughter, sitting up and holding his sides trying to breathe.

“Holy Shit, DEm! I’m gonna die!” he gasped. Then that moment of awe striking clarity ended, and Flug became slurred with his drunkenness again.

Struggling to his feet, Flug began to stumble towards the door, but Dementia caught him, asking,

“Where do you think you’re going?”

“I’m gonna go get Blackhat to confess his love for me!” Flug slurred. Now any good friend would have sat their friend down and told them to sleep off the drink so they didn’t do something they’d regret in the morning. Dementia, was not a good friend.

“Holy shit, I gotta see this go down! Let me get my phone!”


The next morning

Phone recording—

“Hey, it Dementia, here to bring you the aftermath of Flug’s Drunken Shenanigans! Let’s see what’s behind door number 1!”

“GET OUT DEMENTIA!!”

“OH MY GOSH YOU GUYs-”

“IF YOU ARE ABOUT TO IMPLY WHAT I THINK YOU’RE GOING TO IMPLY YOU’RE WRONG!”

“Wha? What’s going on? Dementia?”

“Flug! Flug what happened!!! You’ll tell me the truth!!”

“What? Nothing happened Dementia, we just feel asleep.”

“YEAH, SO GET OUT NOW!”

“You guys are boring! You just cuddled and-”

“THERE WAS NO CUDDLING!!”

“Actually sir-”

“YOU GET OUT TOO FLUG!”

“But sir I-”

“I WAS JUST MAKING SURE YOU DIDN’t KILL YOURSELF WHILE YOU WERE DRUNK!”

“Then why did you hold on so tightly and start purring like a-”

“OUT! OUT! OUT!”

—end recording

“Sooooo, that went better then expected,” Dementia hummed. Staring Flug down as they both stood outside Blackhat quarters, where he had just slammed the door in their faces, she grinned mischievously and winked. “So what did happen, in there, Flug?”

“I don’t kiss and tell, Dementia.” Flug stated firmly.

“So you DID kiss him!!” Flug began to stammer and blush.

“NO! I didn’t say that!!

“It was implied! I’m gonna go shout this from the rooftops!”

“No you’re not!”

“Am too!” Dementia took off running down the hall.

“Get back here!” And with that, Flug sprinted off after her.

Meanwhile, in his quarters, Black hat sat at his desk with his head in his hands. Damn his cute scientist, and damn that annoying Dementia, he thought. They were going to be the end of him.


I hope this is to your liking? I was laughing for a good portion for writing this, and so thank you for this wonderful request! Anyone and everyone feel free to send me more writing prompts!

Why Moana Deserves More

*MAY FEATURE SPOILERS *

Hello! Today, I would like to discuss my thoughts on the movie, Moana. Ever since it came out, it’s safe to say that it has been a success, from doing well at the box office, positive critical reception, to nominations in several award shows. However, I feel like it’s still not as recognized as it should be, compared to other Disney films like Frozen, Big Hero 6, Zootopia, etc. That is why today I am going to go into my thoughts on why Moana, the movie, deserves more in terms of recognition and credit among the Disney canon.
First off, I am going to respond to the criticism that of Moana following the Disney formula too much. I can agree that at the basic structure of the movie, it DOES follow the past formula of Disney movies pretty much. But the story itself is MORE than that. Even though Moana wants to see more in the world, kinda like in Ariel, Belle, etc, it is shown in the movie that she truly wants to help her village. In the sequence of her learning to lead her village and doing her best to solve the problems, something that is RARELY seen in Disney movies, female leads doing their jobs of leaders, we see Moana enjoy partaking in her community and handle things with competence and calm, so it truly makes her struggle with her desire to go to the ocean. Some people argue about the overprotective dad trope in Moana’s father, Tui, but he only has a few minutes of screen time so it is nothing to get too riled up over, in my opinion.
Some people argued that Maui left for no reason but it is understandable why he left. He got mad that his hook, an item that was important to him, was broken and was on the verge of being destroyed for good. He was understandably mad at Moana as she made a reckless choice and to some degree selfish, as seen in the line where she says that she thought that she could make it as well. But we as the audience are meant to know that Maui still was wrong for leaving. Some people argue that we never knew what made him come back but I think it’s insinuated enough that he thought thinks over (possibly with Mini Maui). And he also works afterwards with Moana to help get her to restore the heart of Te Fiti. Everyone seems to forget that he RISKED his life to help buy Moana time. When you watch the movie again, Te Ka was looking at Moana and Maui noticed this. So he gets Te Ka to notice him and Te Ka is about to fireball and kill Maui until Moana shines the heart at her. And Maui does apologize to Te Fiti at the end of it. At first it’s awkward but that'a how it is in real life. He even says that he had no excuse for what he done, so that’s really important to take into account.
The culture in Moana I believe is shown is a beautiful way. They clearly did a lot of research, as seen with the trips and long time spent on it. They also had a voice cast that reflected Polynesian culture. It may not be 100% accurate as they did have to Disney-fy some of it for the movie, but’s safe to say it is a respectful representation that encourages you to look more into Polynesian culture after you watch the movie. The music in Moana is also PHENOMENAL and it has made its mark on Disney Music History. With talents such as Opetaia Foa'i, Mark Mancina, and Lin Manuel Miranda, you can’t go wrong. The voice performances especially make the music emotionally resonate, especially that of Auli'i Cravalho, whom I’m eternally grateful that Disney got her for the job and hope to see more of her in the future. Dwayne Johnson also does a fantastic job as Maui, both delivering charm and charisma in his singing and voice acting. There’s also different ways that scenes are done that have a big impact on this movie. Such as the “I Am Moana” scene, when Gramma Tala’s spirit comes back to Moana, but she reunited with Moana in the way that any grandmother and granddaughter would, embracing each other openly. Tala also validates Moana’s emotions at the moment and admits that she never should have put so much responsibility on Moana (something I usually never see in these type of stories). And she fully says to Moana that she and her family support her no matter what, allowing Moana to think and realize for herself who she is and remind herself of why she is on her mission. THIS is what makes the scene so ICONIC. Moana’s animation is also breathtakingly beautiful and so engaging. When I saw this on the big screen, it made me want to just jump into the water. And the colors are so vibrant and make the movie so full of life! The humor in this movie is also very done well. I love how the water who is personified in this acts as a character and serves its own comic relief. Hei-Hei the chicken is also extremely funny in him just acting like a dumb rooster. His own presence of him being totally unaware and his reaction to him discovering he’s out in the ocean is just plain hysterical. This movie just has so much to offer anyone and has an inspiring heart of its own. This movie is dripping with Disney heart and I hope Disney brings more of Moana in the future and continue to do so. I recommend this movie to EVERYONE because I believe that this movie is universal and speaks to everyone on its level. I strongly encourage you to continue to support it and I will as well. 🌊⛵️🏝🌺🐚🌸🐷🐔⭐️🌟🐠🐟🐋🦀🐚⛵️

offlikeadirty-shirt  asked:

please write more bruce wayne !!! 😩🙌🏽

And here some more Bruce Wayne ;) : 

Warning : slightly sexual I guess, and langage maybe. 

PART 2 

(My masterlist blog here : https://ella-ravenwood-archives.tumblr.com)

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Beach Bod’  - Bruce Wayne x Reader

You hated sand. You just couldn’t stand it. It got everywhere, it iritated your skin…it was just awful. So, obviously, when your family FINALLY could get all together, you decided a day at the beach was a good idea. Alfred made a nice pic-nic, and you all left for a secret spot you knew, where, even though it was a wonderful summer day, you knew there wouldn’t be anyone. You had a nice family lunch made of Al’s great sandwiches and salads. You bitched about sand getting in your food, and your sons and husband just kept mocking you for your grumpiness. You were the one who always smiled usually, and also, you suggested you should go to the beach so…But still, fuck sand.

At the present moment, your boys, Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian, were trying to drown their father. How cute. Of course, they were not really trying to drown him, they were just having fun…you hoped. You had to give Bruce credits though, he was alone againts four teenage boys very much in shape, and still managed to keep his head out of the water. It was nice to see all of them relaxed, laughing, splashing each others and not actually trying to kill each other or brooding.

The boys finally came up with a strategy the four of them together to be able to duck their father’s head in the water. Dick held onto one of Bruce’s leg, while Jason was holding the other. Tim used Damian as a battering ram, and threw him as hard as he could in his father’s chest.

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The Honeymoon - Sebastian x Reader - Full Version

Originally posted by jlstreck

Sebastian Stan x Reader - After getting married and a few months after Isabella being born, you and Seb finally get the well deserved honeymoon.


Warnings: Fluff and some smut. But nice smut.

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High Tensions - Ten

Can I just say that I’m loving the the reactions this is getting!

Reid x Reader

He’d dreamt about her again. This time she’d been lying on his bed with her legs spread wide and he’d been situated between them with his mouth pressed up against her, tasting her as he lapped away at her clit. 

He’d woken up a sticky mess once more, his mouth almost watering. He swore he could still taste the sweet, yet bitter taste of her but he knew that wasn’t possible. 

They exchanged texts this morning making plans to meet up later on in the day and he’d received a few suprise photos from her which made his dick immediately hard again. This had to stop, and soon. If he didn’t fuck her soon he was scared he was going to fall asleep on the jet and wake up with Y/N and the rest of the team laughing at him as he humped and came all over the leather seats, no doubt moaning her name. 

Yet he wasn’t going to be the one to end it. At least not yet. 

He wondered what tonight would bring. Spencer had enjoyed their little cinema “date” the other week, not exactly knowing what it meant for them in terms of their relationship with each other. But she’d been right when she’d pointed out that they were two friends with a mutual attraction who were trying to bang each other senseless. What other word really was there? They weren’t “friends with benefits” because so far, there’d been no benefits.  

He thought back to the last week and a half. The case had hit Y/N hard, it had affected them all but seemed to have hurt her more as she’d developed a bond with the parents of the child they’d initially been called in to find. That had happened to them all on occasion, it was hard not feel drawn to certain people and the parents had been drawn to Y/N, always seeking her out to check for new information. When the case had gone bad and the news delivered, he’d heard her crying in her hotel room later that night. He’d wanted to go to her but when he’d left his room next door, he’d saw her door closing softly and then sound of JJ’s voice through the wood. He’d settled for giving her a hug when they’d got back to HQ. 

She’d seemed fine this morning, back to her usual bubbly self during their text exchange but he wanted to do something for her to make her feel better. He racked his brains. 

After and hour of thinking he kept coming back to the same thing. He didn’t want to just buy her something, or take her somewhere. 

But would she let him do the thing he was thinking off? He’d found a loophole that would allow it, if she saw things from his point of view. 

Well there was only one way to find out. 

He knocked her door at 8pm, takeout bag in hand. She answered wearing a shorts and vest pajama combo, her hair piled on top of her wet. It looked wet and she didn’t have any make up on, although she still looked stunning.

“Hey! Apologies for the lack of proper clothes. I’ve literally done nothing but cleaning and laundry all day and I’ve only just got out the shower. I lost track of time.” She took the take out bag from him and he followed her to through to her kitchen area. 

“No worries. I did say don’t bother getting dressed. Admittedly I had something else in mind, but beggers can’t be choosers.”

She grinned at him, handing him a beer and pulling out some plates. “Actually Spencer, in this case, beggers could be choosers. You beg for it and you can choose to do what you want to me.”

He rolled his eyes at her trying to let the comment wash over his head. He helped her plate up their food and headed over to the couch, placing his messenger bag on the floor next to him and making himself comfortable. 

“So what are we watching?” he asked. 

“Well considering how much we’ve been talking about it recently, I figured we could watch this.” Y/N produced a dvd from the coffee table next to her. 

Secretary. 

“You’re not being serious?!” There was no way he could watch that with her, especially given the dreams he’d been having. 

“No I’m not. We’re watching this instead.” She produced another film. Don Jon. 

He knew that film was about a man with a porn and masturbation addiction and he could do without watching Joseph Gordon Levitt wanking himself stupid. He shook his head at her. 

“Well that brings me to my third and final option, this.“ 

Beauty and the Beast. 

“What?” she must have seen the look on his face. “It’s my favourite film and it makes me feel happy. And after the last case, I could kinda do with that.“ 

“Fine…. Put it on.” He watched her bound over to her dvd player and slip the disc in, her butt sticking out as she bent over. 

They ate and watched the film in companionable silence, her shushing him whenever he tried to feed her a random fact. 

“Did you know this film is based on…. ”

“Yes I know.”

“Did you know that Beast’s name is actually….”

“Adam, yes I know.”

“Did you…. ”

She chucked a cushion at him. “Spence, this is my favourite movie. I’ve watched it like a thousand times. I doubt there’s anything you could tell me about it that I don’t already know. Now shut up and let me watch. We can watch Doctor Who or something you like afterwards.”

It wasn’t like he wasn’t enjoying the movie, although he was enjoying watching Y/N watching it more. Her lips moved along with the character’s quietly singing along with them, or mouthing their lines. She really must have seen this film a thousand times to know it off by heart. It was sweet. And just another thing about her to add to the ever growing list of items he found desirable about her. 

The movie finished and as the credits rolled he could see her wiping away a tear. 

“Y/N. Do you want a hug?”

She looked at him suspiciously. 

“No funny business I swear. It’s just…… You’re crying.”

“Because of the movie, stupid film.” But she inched closer to him on the couch. 

“I never suggested it was anything other than the movies making you sad.” He held open his arms waiting to see if she’d move into them. 

She moved, slowly wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her body against his. 

Okay, perhaps offering a hug wasn’t such a good idea. The pajamas she was wearing didn’t offer much coverage and they were a thin cotton material. Luckily she was wearing a bra but he could still feel her chest pressed against his. 

“Thanks Spencer,” she sighed into his neck, her hands playing with his hair.

“What for?” he didn’t relax his grip on her, enjoying the feel of her against him. 

“Just….. I don’t know. Everything. I don’t think I tell you this enough but I honestly think you’re a great guy. You’re kind and sweet and you know when I’m feeling down and when I need a hug. You’re a great friend.”

Friend. Weren’t they a little past friends?

She continued, tilting her head slightly so that her words blew onto his neck. “Add that to the fact the you’re sexy as hell, and clearly know how to please a women in the bedroom. You’re obviously perfect.”

“I’m far from perfect Y/N. And sexy? That’s one word that doesn’t tend to get used in the same sentence as Spencer Reid.”

She was still pressed against him, her lips almost touching his neck. Her next words shocked him. “I think you’re perfect Spencer. Perfect for me at least. And……” she stopped herself, unsure of whether she should continue or not. He waited with baited breath. 

“And, erm….. Spencer. Maybe when we decide who’s won this little bet, we could actually go out on a proper date? One which we both know is an actual date.”

He knew that Y/N found him attractive, she’d said as much. And he knew that she must find him sexually attractive to have even been partaking in this game with him in the first place. 

If he was honest with himself he’d hoped and wanted something more to come out of it. But he was still totally surprised to hear that she wanted the same. 

He nodded at her. “We can do whatever you want Y/N.”

She broke the embrace and pulled away from him. “Well what I really want is for you to tell me you want me so I can win this damn thing and have a fucking orgasm.”

He laughed at her wondering if now was the time to ask her. It had to be really. 

“Y/N. Erm….. I was thinking earlier. I know how upset you’d been after the last case and I really wanted to do something nice for you.”

“You are doing something nice for me Spence. Just by being here with me.”

“Well I wanted to do something that would make you feel better…… And,  well I blame the fact that I’m in an almost constant state of arousal when I’m near you for pointing my brain in this direction, but the only thing I could think of to make you feel better was to offer to give you an orgasm. I’m not admitting defeat here by the way, but I found a loophole that I thought we could exploit just for the one night.”

He watched her face for a reaction, but she didn’t give anything away. A few moments later she finally spoke. “You want to make me come? Without breaking the rules?“ 

He nodded. 

"How?”

He reached into his messenger bag pulling out the little box he’d picked up earlier and passing it to her. Now that had been an interesting shopping trip. 

“Spencer this is a vibrator. Why the hell do you have a bullet vibrator?” He could still see confusion on her face, but he detected a hint of a smile of her lips. 

“I bought it earlier. I know you have one, but the thing that you have, well it scares me quite frankly. This is much more simple and the woman in the shop said that it’s one of the best selling items.”

She laughed, the image of him in a sex shop amusing her. 

“I can’t use it though. It’s against the rules. It’s still self relief remember. If I use this on myself, you’d win.”

“That’s not what I’m getting at. I’d use it on you.”

Her jaw dropped and her cheeks coloured. 

“Technically we’re not breaking any rules because I wouldn’t actually be touching you. I’d be touching this. And you wouldn’t be touching yourself either. You get to orgasm and feel good, and I get to watch. And neither of us violates any of our self imposed rules. But it’s a one night only thing.”

“Why one night only?”

“Because otherwise, if I were to do this again, then you’d never admit defeat and I’ll never get to hear you telling me how badly you want my dick inside you.”

She breathed in deeply, before asking, “But what about you. You still don’t get to… Well, you know.”

“Honestly Y/N, twice now I’ve woken up covered in my own mess. The dreams I’ve been having about you…… Well, they’ll keep me going for a bit longer.”

He licked his lips at the memory,  hearing her whisper, “Oh my fucking God.”

“This isn’t a trick?” she clarified. 

“Nope, although if at any point you beg me to slip myself in, then I do still win. But otherwise, it won’t count against you. It will probably work in your favour to be honest. I’ve only dreamt about what you look like when you orgasm, seeing it might actually push me over the edge.”

“Okay.”

She stood up from the couch, holding out her hand to him. He took it. 

The box in one hand, and his hand in her other, she led him to her bedroom. 

Chill » Conor Maynard

Requests: Can you do an imagine where you’re dating Conor and get on well with the boys. You’re all round Conor’s, the boys are watching footie and you’re feet are up on the couch and up over jacks lap as you’re leaned up against Conor with his arm wrapped around you. And you’re all screaming at the game and eating pop corn. Fluff. Fluffy sheet.

Can you write something about Conor fracturing his ankle and y/n looking after him?


You had been seeing Conor for around six months now, and his friends and family had only found out two months ago, as the both of you had decided to keep your relationship a secret for a while. Gradually, you were introduced to his brother, his friends, his parents and his sister but you had yet to be introduced to his fans. You were so glad that you got on well with the people Conor had chosen to surround himself with, albeit not getting along with his brother at first because it meant that you could hang out whenever you wanted.

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Honorary Art

Originally posted by peeblesprotectionpatrol

Request:  Hey doll! I loved your newest fic, it was super good, even though it was sad. Do you think you’d be able to write one of the boys (your choice) x fem reader, where she has lots of tattoos but they don’t know and they see one day and are really shocked. Sorry if it’s too specific, I just loooove your writing too much :)

Summary: GenderNeutral!Reader has a few tats they’re hiding.

A/N: Hello all, super long gap between fics again, I know, I’m sorry, I’m the worst :( I don’t really have an excuse except that I was kinda busy (I had a speech to write, a presentation to give, and a midterm all in the same week rip) and I had 0 inspiration :( sorry y’all bt I’m here now with hopefully 2 new fics tonight! Hope you guys enjoy these :D

Wordcount: 1069, I tried making this longer but I couldn’t rip

Requests are closed at the moment, sorry friends!

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Give the People What They Want

here’s my first fic of the seven that are going up this week!

An accidental like on Twitter brings Dan more than he bargained for.

“Hey guys! I’m joined today by Dan, and we’re going to be doing the chapstick challenge!”

aka the one where Dan and Phil try to do the chapstick challenge and it doesn’t exactly go as planned

words: 2.8k

tags: chapstick challenge, friends to lovers, fluff, making out, slight grinding but no real smut

read it on ao3

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He Overheard

Originally posted by deeepsleep

Prompt: “could you please do a Bones/Reader where it’s like, one night you drunkenly confessed to Jim that you have a sort of ‘doctor kink’ (or he finds out somehow about it) so whenever Bones is near you, Jim is all smirk-y and giggly, but Bones just usually passes it off 'cause it’s just Jim, but eventually Jim can’t hold his tongue and he tells Bones and he gets all blushy 'cause he likes you, so Jim cooks up a plan for you two to get together? haha sorry it’s long but I looove your writing so much xx”

Pairing: Bones x reader

Warnings: language

Words: 2096

A/N: Sorry this is a little late, y’all. Moving has been really stressful and it’s eaten a lot of my time lately. Thank God for my tireless Beta, who puts up with me incessantly asking questions and sending her things late, as well as yelling at me when things aren’t quite up to par. <3  


Ladies night. It had taken so long to actually get everyone together, but finally, you and Uhura had managed to wrangle a few other women from the bridge, the medbay, and engineering to have a night of fun when the ship was docked. Christine Chapel from down in medbay had gone on a supply run, while you and Uhura prepared your living space for several more occupants than it should have. You’d decided that keeping it on ship would be easier, as you’d have fewer unwelcome guests at your shindig.

“That should just about do it!” Uhura says, tossing another pillow in the corner to complete the last seat around your low table.

“Finally, now we just need Christine to get back with the…” You’re cut off by the door opening, and Christine appears in the doorway, arms full of bottles.

“A little help?” She gestures her head towards one of the bottles that’s about to fall. You rush to her, snagging it before it can drop and you take a few other bottles out of her arms. Grinning, you set the bottles and glasses up, chatting with Christine and Uhura until the other women arrive.

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anonymous asked:

i was wondering if you can make a jikook head canon, with extraextraextra pining jungkook? a non au, in around the hyyh era? or really just before the wings era? angsty (with jungkook's tears at one point, please) with a happy ending?

girl…..i love pining jikook. that is my shit. also i think this is my first non-au request. yaaay!! thank you so much. (for the record i don’t think jimin and jungkook really ever had a serious fight during the inu era, it’s just for the hc). WARNING: this might be really fucking long. ANOTHER WARNING: it starts off kind of slow i’m sorry. ANOTHER ANOTHER WARNING: there is some spicy stuff later on and mentions (?) of sex? kind of. no actual sex tho. 

+ a year ago jungkook would have pushed jimin away, closing himself off from jimin’s affection. but as he watched him play with hoseok on the set for their new music video, he felt sad that jimin wasn’t next to him, bugging him like he used to. 

+ he wasn’t jealous of the other members. not at all. he was more upset at himself. angry for rejecting jimin all those times when now all he wanted was his attention. 

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Rebelcaptain Celebrity Pretend Relationship AU || Poultry Edition, Part 1: Cockblocked

“This isn’t going to be a Hiddleswift situation,” Kay tells Cassian over the phone. It’s two weeks into the fake dating situation with him and Jyn Erso, and Kay is checking in to make sure his best client remains on his best behavior.

“A what?”

“Hiddleswift.”

“Please stop speaking in binary code, Kay,” Cassian says, running a hand through his hair, “and explain.”

“How is it possible that you are as big of a star as you are and have no idea what is going on in this town?” Kay says, his exasperation unfiltered as per usual. “Tom Hiddleston and Taylor Swift. They dated, as you may recall.”

“I do not.”

“Cassian–”

“I am as big of a star as I am because I work very hard at what I do, and I don’t spend my time reading the gossip magazines. But continue.” Cassian presses the phone to shoulder and walks over to his closet, picking through his dress shirts, frowning at what Kay had indicated was a need for “Baja casual.” Tonight is to be the their first “for public consumption” date. Fish tacos on Venice Beach, followed by a walk on the Boardwalk, and Cassian isn’t exactly nervous about it. Uneasy might be a better word. But he’s also not opposed to it either-–it being a fake date with Jyn–because they had at least their first get-to-know each other dinner earlier, and she’s intriguing to say the least.

“I am simply informing you that this contract with Jyn Erso does not require the level of publicity and demonstrativeness of the Hiddleswift relationship, but you still must be seen together and act as appropriate as a romantic partnership. Just refrain from lifting her up into the air and dipping her while you kiss. Subtlety will be the most effective method.”

“You really sell this to me so well, Kay.”

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You Scared, Doll?

Prompt request: Hiiii can u please do a Bucky x reader were they watch a very scary movie, but Bucky was forced to watch it, later on that night the reader can’t sleep, the horrors came in her whenever she was closing her eyes, so Bucky hard a wicked idea in his mind were he thought he would scare her more, he then scares the reader, he chases her thru the whole house running behind her like a creepy zombie but he can’t hold back his laughter, but when he captures her…you can end up that up with smutt😈

Characters: Bucky Barnes, Reader

Warnings: some language, lil’ bit of smut, implied smut

Word count: 1200

A/N: So, I’m not comfortable writing full out smut, but this is what I came up with! Hope you enjoy, and please feel free to send me more requests! This one was quite fun

Masterlist


“How are you scared right now?” Bucky asked exasperatedly. “This is totally fake! And you see worse things in real life!”

“Shut up!” you whispered, harshly.

You poked your boyfriend in the side and stared at the screen intently as the zombie movie continued to play out on the TV. You and Bucky had a rare night alone at the Avengers Tower, and it was your turn to pick the movie for your weekly date night. Unfortunately for Bucky, you had chosen one of the new horror flicks that had come out this year.

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Blooper Reel

Hamwriters’ Write-a-thon: AU Day (1)

Pairing: Jordan Fisher x Reader

Word Count: 2,633

Trigger Warnings: None really, just fluff

A/N: Day 1! I’m so excited for this even though I totally procrastinated. Hopefully, I’ll be posting them on time, sometime in the afternoon each day. I can’t wait to read all of your fics, guys! Enjoy this, it’s literally all fluff. The calm before the storm. *cue maniacal laughing*

Originally posted by riotinoakland

There were plenty of things you were fairly sure would never happen at your wedding. One was breakdancing. Another, juggling. It wasn’t like you’d planned the ins and outs of your wedding day since you were a kid. Some things you just knew weren’t going to happen at the sacred ceremony.

But one thing you hadn’t even thought of, was having a toast to YouTube.

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Fools II Jaspar fanfiction

The tale of how Caspar Lee fell in love with Joe Sugg, told by Joshua Pieters.

Disclaimer: Nothing here belongs to me and obviously none of this is true. All events depicted here are purely fictional.

A/N: Yo this bitch got inspired and started yet another story… this doesn’t mean my other stories will be abandoned

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Music Series: Smother Me by The Used

Thank you…me too…and thanks again! 😚

This is another one that I had an entirely different story written, then had a better one pop into my head last minute and changed the whole thing up! So I hope you all like it!

This is “Smother Me” by The Used, which can be heard HERE on Spotify. xo

Shelli

******************

Let me be the one who calls you baby

All the time

Surely you can take some comfort

Knowing that you’re mine

Just hold me tight, lay by my side

and let me be the one who calls you

Baby all the time

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The Simple Things Aren’t Always So Simple - A Little Patience

Word Count: 1582

Warnings: Smoking, drinking, mentions of divorce (kinda lame, really)

A/N:  So my dear good friend @spntrista tells me in great detail about a dream she had about Jensen. It has inspired this series. Let’s all remember that this is FICTION and I do not in ANYWAY condone cheating on your spouse or partner. This is simply a work of fiction, please regard it as such. I mean no disrespect to Jensen or his family. Thank you.

The Simple Things Aren’t Always So Simple Masterlist


I couldn’t believe the life I was living right now. I was Jensen Ackles’ nanny. I wasn’t just the nanny, I had been sleeping with Jensen for more than a week and it was phenomenal. Everything about this man was unbelievable. He was a good cook, he was an amazing dad, he was a great listener and an attentive lover.

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anonymous asked:

Have you read The Metropolitan Man? I don't know what's your policy on fanfiction but it's a "realistic" take on Superman arriving in the 30s.

Haven’t read that one - looking over it briefly it seems pretty damn depressing, though I suppose that’s kind of the point. I’ll probably check it out sometime.

I’m definitely down for fanfiction, but there’s precious little with Superman I’m into - when I occasionally think of Superman fanfic I hope “cool, maybe there’s finally some cool cosmic adventure stuff in here given the comics so rarely go there, or some really insightful character observations of the kind writers too sparsely touch on!” and then it ends up being 7000 pages on a powerless high-school aged Clark’s torrid affair with Jason Todd behind Congorilla’s back or something. But keeping my eyes open, there’ve definitely been some over the years that worked for me:

* Superboy: A great little moment of growth for a young Clark Kent in a short animated comic by @jordangibson.

* All In A Day’s Work: Good chance you saw this floating around on Tumblr awhile back, this is another really great little short comic by Tom Gimlin and Marcellis Wentz, on the weight of the job.

* Superman’s Story: Opposite Number: An excellent short piece by @spectralspices based on an idea he was nice enough to bounce off me, as Superman goes up against a pair of challenges unusual even for him - one comedic, one very much not.

* Pop-Drama: Superman: I don’t know how much this really qualifies as fanfic in the traditional sense - it’s a broad story proposal by @andrewhickeywriter on an ‘end point’ for Superman - but it’s damn fun and satisfying. There’s also a follow-up article where he elaborates on a major plot point.

* Superman Lives: Another short comic, this time by Joe Otis Costello and Des Taylor, where the Superman of 1938 is beamed in a fight with Brainiac into the world of 2014, and Lois Lane naturally gets the exclusive interview with the returned hero, the story being presented in magazine format. The characterizations may or may not work for you - parts do for me, others not - but it’s an interesting exercise nonetheless, and Des Taylor’s work is absolutely gorgeous.

* @ck1blogs: Clark Kent’s reasonably infamous Twitter account. He is not good at the internet, or humans.

* @filmcriticsuperman: Less well-known than its cousin ck1, which is a shame; unlike most “Film Critic X” feeds, it’s actually…well, really good, courtesy of @charlotteofoz. It maintains the voice throughout and perfectly, and while half the feed is indeed movie reviews - always through the filter of Superman - the other half is just Superman talking about his day, and while it was coming out it was probably the best ongoing Superman material of the last several years. If starting at the beginning of the feed to get a feel for it seems too ominous, worth it though it may be, a good sample would be the more traditional short story she did connected to it, a Superman Halloween spooktacular by the name of Yellowfire.

* Kosmograd Blues: A short story by The Quantum Thief and Invisible Planets author Hannu Rajaniemi focused on a Russian Superman analog, it’s a beautifully written, somber story of a superman who’s long since lost what made his own life worthwhile, but knows he still has a job to do. This was to be one part of a series of superhero short stories set in a larger world he had built - he wrote a little more about the details of it once - but to my knowledge this was all that ever came out of it.

* Kahlil: An ongoing webcomic by Kumail Rizvi in which the last son of Krypton landed in Karachi; it’s been awhile since I last checked in on it, but I recall it being very good, with some spectacular artwork making the few moments thus far of super-ness really pop.

* Superman vs. The Universe: A spiritual cousin to Joe Keatinge’s Strange Visitor, this is the story of an all-powerful Superman at the end of time looking back on his existence as he prepares for his last duty; the prose is stilted in places, but there are enough great ideas and emotional moments in here to make it more than worth your time.

* Repairing The World: I’ll admit some bias up front since the author’s a friend of mine, but starlightify’s DCU series of fanfics - largely centered around Superman and Batman - are a lot of fun, very funny and heartfelt. Some good samplers with Superman would be Salutation and Canidae.

* Silver Age Superman: I’ve never gotten my hands on this semi-legendary bootleg 1990 comic by Ed Pinsent and Mark Robinson, but the likes of Al Ewing and phenomenal comics critic Colin Smith have both declared this comic - starring by my understanding perhaps the most alienated version of its title character ever - among their absolute favorite Superman stories, and their word is more than good enough for me; if you see it out in the wild, I’d absolutely say pick it up. And grab a copy for me, would ya?

* Luthor’s Gift/Starwinds Howl: Bizarre as it is to list any Superman work of Elliot S! Maggin’s as fanfiction when he’s one of the characters’ most beloved writers, I suppose that is what these two stories count as given that they’ve only ever been published online and maybe in a fanzine or two to my knowledge rather than with DC’s official sanction, and they’re absolutely of a piece with his novels Last Son of Krypton and Miracle Monday. The latter is his take on how Krypto arrived on Earth; the former shows how Superman finally left Earth around the end of the 21st century the way he often hinted at in his other works.

* Tales of Smallville: Near as I can tell, I’m the only person on the face of the Earth - other than maybe Elliot Maggin, who endorsed these stories himself - who’s aware that on the site supermanthrutheages, Samuel Hawkins posted a series of 4 Superboy stories; him revealing himself to the world, his first big adventure with the Legion of Superheroes, a memorable dinner with a guest, and Martha Kent on her deathbed. On these stories, I know two things. 1. Posterity will unquestionably not validate him. It’s a handful of Silver/Bronze-Age Superboy fanfics on an out-of-the-way fansite, no one will remember them. And 2. He is a Morrison/Ennis/Maggin-tier Superman writer. If I have ever written anything in my life on Superman that you’ve agreed on, for the love of god at least read Martha’s Story, it might honestly be my favorite Superman story other than All-Star.

So along with those recommendations, I do have to throw a request on top: I vaguely recall having once read a short story somewhere online years ago about a Superman-type hero found in a field as an infant by farmers - one’s an alcoholic and one sleeps around, but they clean up their acts for the sake of the kid. He grows up to become a superhero and occasionally fights a Lex Luthorish scientist with an appropriately alliterative name who accuses him of impeding societal progress. Eventually, the hero flies off into space once everyone he knows dies, returning occasionally to Earth as he feels drawn back, to defend it, or rule it, or just wander it in obscurity; his longest and last stay is when he falls in love with a woman who he meets at a restaurant, when she’s the first in all those thousands of years to make apple pie as good as his mother’s. Eventually, he lives to the end of the universe, where he finds himself rocketing back through time and de-aging, crash-landing in a field and completing the time-loop. If anyone could point me in a direction towards it, it’d be very much appreciated; I don’t even recall if it’s any good, but I’ve been trying to find it for years and it’s the principle of the thing at this point.

Over the Threshold

Summary: Dan and Phil have devoted this year to focusing on life things. Phil is pushing Dan toward the next big step.

Excerpt:

“Jesus, Phil!”

Phil had reached around Dan to jam the key into the lock, whilst clamping his other hand over Dan’s crotch. The door opened onto dim hallway faintly illuminated by street lights.

Genre: fluff

Warnings: a swear or two and tiniest hints of smut

Word count: 1321

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Review of 13x19 “What’s Inside?”

When I first watched the episode, my initial reaction was that it was so awful I didn’t need to write a review. But then I thought that maybe the fact that it was so awful was something I needed to write about. There is a lot to be said about the choices the show isn’t making, so this review really focuses on that.  

I get the opening scene completely. As I said in my 13x18 review, this episode is about Maggie accepting her mother’s death, so opening with her visiting her mother’s grave makes sense. Now I don’t think this story should have been the one driving the episode, but here we are anyway. As much as I expected a scene with Maggie at her mom’s grave, I was distracted during most of it. I had to watch it twice just to tell you what Mer and Amelia were saying to each other. And the thing that distracted me has been distracting me for a while – Mer’s clothes. For the most part, I think the wardrobe department is fantastic, especially with the women. Each woman has a specific style to their clothing outside of the hospital that reflects their personality well. Even in this scene, Amelia’s leather jacket is a great call back to her edgier Private Practice days. It was a great clothing choice. But it makes the poor clothing choice for Mer even more obvious. Mer’s style is slowing becoming, “Well it looks clean, so I guess I’ll wear it.” And that would maybe be understandable if she was sporting the tired mom look, but since her kids have been in the basement since season eleven, it’s strange. And on top of that this is the second episode of the last three where someone has called Mer hot, so they clearly want to send a message about her appearance to the audience. It’s all very strange.

Eliza, Arizona, and Riggs – For a character that was the catalyst for one of the only story lines the show chose to focus on this season, Minnick has been curiously absent from our screens. I have to think the show got the hint that the fans were not going to be told who to like and decided to pull back a bit. The audience screaming “No!” at Paleyfest when Arizona and Eliza were mentioned had to have grabbed their attention at least a little. Arizona says to Riggs, “It’s just that people are so full of opinions about Eliza…” and I don’t think that was completely about the characters.  It feels like Arizona is justifying to the audience why it’s okay for her to be with Eliza. “I’m recently divorced.” (Recent? Define recent because people have had babies and completed cancer trials since your “recent” divorce. Is this another Grey’s timeline black hole?)

Owen and Amelia – Oh look, Owen’s Army friends are happily married and expecting a baby. Good. We haven’t dangled Owen’s dreams in his face in a couple of minutes. Let’s do that again.

April, Steph, Cross – I am so happy to see April back. April/Sarah really does bring a much needed light to the show. It’s not the same without her. I get that this story was supposed to bring the comedy to balance the seriousness of Maggie’s surgery, but it ended up stealing the show. These three do comedy so well. Too bad we won’t see it more often.

Mer and Alex – I just can’t. I need Alex to do something other than prop up Meredith. Even if they want to ignore Jolex, give him anything else to do but that. Please. And this Mer and Riggs will they/won’t they go on a date is not suspenseful. You had sex with him in your car in the parking lot at work, Mer. I think you can eat a meal with him. The audience isn’t feeling a build-up. If anything, we are losing interest and hoping Riggs runs in the other direction.

Bailey and Webber – I almost forgot they were in the episode. When Shonda said this season would focus on the originals I expected great storylines for Bailey and Webber. Instead we got the equivalent of them fighting over Bailey choosing a new friend to do her school project with. They deserved better, but that could be said for most of the characters, so I will just be happy with the fact that it seems the Minnick/Webber storyline may be over.

Cross, Steph, Deluca – Jo Adler (Cross) is such an untapped talent. I get serious early George vibes from him and I love it. So we probably won’t see him again until next season.“I have Obamacare. I have a year left, and I…” You know an episode is bad when I say out loud, “I want to see more of Cross.”

Owen, Jackson, Amelia, Mer – I love that Jackson is always eating. I would stress eat if I worked there, too. As frustrating as it is that we have no Japril scenes, we do get an April mention from Jackson, which I think is significant. This happened in 13x05 as well when she had her first day back to work.  They had no scenes together, but he asked about her.  So, at least she’s on his mind? Sigh.  And Jackson telling Mer it’s not normal she operated through a miscarriage was a great moment.  Funny.  Especially since Owen is the one she operated on, and he is sitting right there.

Mer, Amelia, Maggie – I like Maggie. I do. I mean, I generally like everyone, so I don’t know if that means much. But I’m not invested enough in her character to want to watch three episodes in row basically focusing on her. The show really, really wants me to be, but it hasn’t happened yet. Audience connection to characters has to be organic. It can’t be forced, and it’s just not there with Maggie for me.

Maggie operates – And she is absolutely fine. Sigh. I mean I definitely didn’t want anything bad to happen to the baby or mother, but this story was anti-climactic and so many other stories are just sitting, waiting to be told.  If those stories are getting bumped for this one, at least make it amazing.

April, Steph, Deluca, and Cross – Sarah and Jerrika really have a great dynamic onscreen together. I mean Stephanie being Jackson’s rebound sort of cancelled any chance of friendship, but their scenes always catch my attention. I love anytime April is shown as a capable and in control surgeon, so her annoyance at Steph and Deluca was great. Again, these scenes were the best of the show for me.

Mer, Amelia, Maggie - The dance it out scene was inappropriate to me. Shonda puts scenes in like this or a few of them eating lunch together and then tweets, “Oh, it’s just like old Grey’s!” like that will make us forget this season has been a mess.  And dancing it out was a thing reserved for cheating boyfriends or bad days at work, not dead mothers.  Dead mothers deserve a scene where they act like adults who are capable of dealing with their emotions and have a conversation.  But, of course, we don’t get conversations.

Maggie and Jackson - So, I don’t see why people are freaking out.  I just don’t. I’ve tried.  I’ve watched and rewatched and squinted at my screen.  I see nothing.  I mean, yes, they have had more scenes together, but absolutely nothing in those scenes has hinted they would be romantic.  If anything, Jackson literally called her family.  I think what this really is about is the fact that we have had no resolution from Montana so it is easier to see this as a possible reason than to just admit that the continuity and writing have been way off this season.  I really think that since JTS was filmed in November, the show wasn’t sure where it was going in the line up (they have moved two centrics recently) and they just didn’t film anything that would be out of order for Japril.  And let’s be real.  The show knows what they have with Japril.  Just look at the publicity and money that was spent on JTS.  The other centrics have not gotten that kind of treatment.  Jesse and Sarah filmed on location for days with another crew.  That location had to be rented.  They had to pay the Grey’s crew and the other crew at the same time.  And the press?  I read at least ten articles about JTS from entertainment sites.  Jesse and Sarah were sent to the TCAs to promote it.  They did the SAG-AFTRA screening, which is a big deal for the Screen Actors Guild to do something like that.  Jesse was sent to New York to promote the episode on like five shows.  I can’t think of any other time the show has spent the time and money on a single episode like they did for this one.  They aren’t going to throw that away.  And those pics Debbie Allen posted hinting that their last scene of the season is a good one?  That was intentional.  They know that Japril is the biggest couple on the show right now.  If they were to trade that to test a relationship between step-siblings, the audience would run.  Sure there are about five people who would be fine with it (and I am deeply concerned for them…) but overall I think a large portion of their audience would be done.  And that is not to say the show hinges on Japril.  I’m not saying that.  I just think that would be the tipping point where Grey’s has obviously stopped caring about telling good stories and is only trying to be shocking.  As an audience we can only take so much of being ignored.  

Speaking of being ignored, my heart goes out to hardcore Jolex shippers. Their story, or lack of, has been one of the main reasons this season has been such a let down. 12x24 set the stage for a great Jolex story, and then nothing. And I get that Camilla is pregnant, and obviously her health and the baby’s health are more important, but they could say something.  Don’t just ignore the fans.  They set up this season to be a look into domestic violence and Jo’s past, and then we get nothing.  If it’s about her pregnancy, just say “Camilla is focusing on her private life right now, so we are pushing the DV story to next season.”  Or something!  It could be done without putting her business out there but still respecting the fans.  

I am an optimist, so I still have hope that the last four episodes will bring back the Grey’s we love.  If you made it this far, thanks for reading.  This was a long one.