i did not draw this i would source it if i knew the artist who did

|| Sketched Love ||

[[request prompt: I loved “Our Love Story” And was wondering if you could write something similar with a Peter Parker x reader where they go to school together and the reader is and artist, and she is always drawing sketches of him during class and stuff? Thanks :)]]

time to work on requests ೕ(•̀ᴗ•́) this time I’m all about writing for my main boi, peter parker

tags [permanent + peter parker]: @psychicwitchphilosopher , @pharaohkiller , @moonlight53, , @nekonerdxox , @pepcvina , @kylielo22 , @wavy-ley , @lghockey , @buckysendoftheline , @1022bridgetp , @potterjamesharry

warnings: none, just pure fluff that comes with experiencing love for the first time ♡

**please don’t repost/plagiarize this story. Reblogs are fine**


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Interview: Eldervine

Today we’re joined by Eldervine. Eldervine is a phenomenal visual artist who enjoys experimenting with different mediums and styles. She is mostly a realistic illustrator, but occasionally dabbles in impressionism and surrealism. Eldervine does both traditional and digital art. She does sculpture/3D modelling and is currently studying game art/design. She’s a passionate artist and obviously has a very bright future. My thanks to her for taking the time to participate in this interview.


Please, tell us about your art.

I’ve been drawing pretty much my entire life- I can’t remember when I started but (looking back) by the time I started school I was pretty well practiced for a 5/6 year old. Since then I’ve dabbled in almost every art form; painting (and then digital painting) was my staple for a long time but I’m pushing myself to sculpt more now.

In style I consider myself a realistic illustrator, even though I slide into impressionism and/or surrealism a bit.

What inspires you?

I’m an unashamed lover of beauty whether it’s found in pleasing shapes, rich colours or lush textures. Animals are the best source for me, particularly horses- they’re made of such beautiful shapes (loads of sine curves) and textures and I was totally that girl at school that always drew horses haha

My first degree ended up being in biological anthropology though (through a weird slide from the art school into the humanities, into the sciences), and that did get me interested in how humans work- that and working at my city art gallery made me more appreciative of human (and cultural) beauty. And it seems weird to me but playing The Sims 3 inspired an appreciation for architecture and landscape. The greatest artistic urge I get remains equine though, so I guess it’s true that old habits die hard.

What got you interested in your field?  Have you always wanted to be an artist?

Phew, it’s a bit of a twisty ride!

My obsession with horses lead me into playing a ton of the online text-based horse sim games that abounded during the 90s/2000s; they were good because they were targeted just at people that like horses, unlike the modern ones which also have a clear intended age bracket. Those games all eventually died so I found myself joining a forum that used The Sims 3 (in modded form) as a horse game, with picture shows and breed registries etc. hosted on the forum. That then led me into the world of computer game modding, and I found I really enjoyed retexturing things and became interested in learning how to 3D model.

So starting from last year I’m studying game design/game art, and I think it’s the best career idea I’ve had so far! I previously didn’t think I could make a living doing art, but games is a growing industry with heaps of demand for artists. I’ve also found that games is a field that allows me to apply the biggest selection of my broad interests and skills (I’ve found my anthropology surprisingly relevant too), and offers specialist and generalist opportunities in equal amounts so I’ll be able to try a lot of different jobs and/or specialize in whatever I end up liking the most.

Do you have any kind of special or unique signature, symbol, or feature you include in your work that you’d be willing to reveal?

I don’t know about a unique thing (apart from a signature obvs). I’m guilty of the ol’ scratchy sketching that my new teachers (all animators) hate and are trying to beat out of me haha, but I don’t like leaving much lineart in my coloured stuff anyway. I think I certainly have a style which is very different to what everyone else in my class does- mainly, I think, because my artistic influences come from fine art whereas most of them grew up on comics.

What advice would you give young aspiring artists?

Stop worrying about having a style, it will happen naturally over the course of your life and if you try and force it you’ll just end up limiting yourself as an artist.

Learn the fundamentals of colour, light and anatomy (yes, I mean realism) BEFORE you start stylizing. If you do it the other way around you’re locking yourself in to only being able to do that style, and often not as well. Anime/manga artists are prone to this; the good ones did heaps of life drawing before translating into the style, whereas you can tell the ones that started out in the style because they do some real janky stuff with anatomy and perspective, and it just doesn’t look as good even when considering style.

Also, be intelligent with your art; always ask yourself why you’re doing something or why something looks good to you. It helps you learn about yourself as well as your craft.


Where on the spectrum do you identify?

I knew I was asexual when I was 12, and I’m now 100% again, but there were bumpy bits at 22 and 25 where I thought I could be demisexual (thinking back and being brutally honest with myself, the first boyfriend I wasn’t interested in at all and the second one I thought I had found someone who I could be happy with, but they didn’t seem to get what I said about my sexuality and so I just tried my best to be into him sexually too. Spoilers: didn’t last long with either of them).

As far as the romantic scale is concerned, I have no idea. I do overwhelmingly connect better with women than (heterosexual) men, but I honestly don’t know what exactly the difference is between a close friendship and a platonic romantic one. Because I seem to be missing something, my current guess is that I’m aromantic as well. xD

Have you encountered any kind of ace prejudice or ignorance in your field?  If so, how do you handle it?

I’ve only mentioned asexuality to a few friends so far in the games field, so I’m going to answer from all the fields I’ve dabbled in.

I am conventionally attractive, and my body developed early- my breasts were already fully developed and large at 12. Both things I have had people try to use as evidence that I cannot possibly be asexual, despite my pointing out that what feelings they get from my body are the results of their sexuality. (That and breasts are not actually sexual organs, they’re just sexualized in many cultures).

Apart from that, whenever I do mention it (which isn’t often) people tend to go “uh” and then gloss over it, clearly not understanding/not believing but not wanting to make more of a deal out of it. Which is fine by me actually, except I’m pretty sure my parents still have their fingers in their ears (some crossed) and are looking the other way as well. (I’ve definitely heard the “you just haven’t found the right person yet” line).

What’s the most common misconception about asexuality that you’ve encountered?

Apart from the binary fission joke (which every asexual gets I think) and the one where people get their sexuality mixed up with yours, that asexuality is due to trauma.

I did actually have panic attacks – with my first boyfriend, the first week after we became official I couldn’t eat anything or I’d throw it up. Doctor gave me meds to calm the acid in my stomach and then I was fine. With the second boyfriend I woke up one day in abdominal agony, shaking and sweating (making it rain, but not in a good way!) but as soon as he called the paramedic hotline and I was talking and joking to the lady on the line I was better- when doctors later examined me they found absolutely nothing wrong. I had another exactly a week after (and I still feel awful about this one) where we had finished making out for a bit and he went to start on lunch (or something, can’t remember) and he came back to ask me something, and as he sat down next to me/leaned over me I suddenly felt so ill, had to bolt to the bathroom- didn’t quite make it- and was ridiculously, violently sick everywhere.

It was at this point that my mother helped me set up 6 months of therapy with a well-reputed sex therapist. xD Who was actually really lovely, and I enjoyed those sessions with her! It was really nice to have talks about sex that weren’t charged with expectations, with someone who was relaxed and had actually studied sexual health, critiques of sex ed, etc. She didn’t believe though that anyone with any hint of sexual need was asexual (and I did say that I was fine to have sex with myself occasionally) so I didn’t really get the benefit of that discussion. She also thought that my aversion to men (as she saw it- honestly I think guys being the only issue was because no lesbians ever hit on me haha) was due to my developing early and being sexualized by others before my mind was caught up. That boys would pretend to be friends with me because I had the big boobs, she said, lead to me linking sexual desire with dishonesty and so I distrusted it. Now, I still think it’s a really interesting idea and I do wonder if my sexuality would’ve expressed any differently if a)I got boobs later and b)if the world/how we raise boys was different. It’s been a long while now though and I’ve continued thinking about it and reflecting on myself, and while I do think I am put off a lot by how the world at large treats sex and sexuality (and women), I think 13 year old boys being self-centered pricks triggering asexuality for the rest of my life is giving them rather a lot of credit!

What advice would you give to any asexual individuals out there who might be struggling with their orientation?

I used to get so stressed when I was a teenager because I was taking on everyone’s expectations about me and my future, and felt that a relationship and sex was just going to happen to me and I had no control over anything. Don’t stress- I can’t talk for everyone, everywhere in the world or in every situation, but at least in my case, the only thing that was keeping me from feeling secure and in control was me thinking that I wasn’t. Hopefully, this can serve as a reminder for someone else in a similar situation. You don’t have to do shit if you don’t want to. If you’re not in a similar situation, don’t be scared to go looking for help to get that control. It exists.

Having said that, don’t be scared to revisit what you think and try working yourself out all over again- you are what you are, and labels are tools that we can use to try and make more sense of ourselves, for us and for others, but remember that they are tools crafted from an imperfect world and they are clumsy.

Finally, where can people find out more about your work?

My Tumblr that I set up to share my game art/schoolwork is eldervine.tumblr.com (you can also find my Twitter through there, which I use to post arty stuff, game stuff, school stuff, news stuff and feminist rants haha)

If you’re interested in seeing the Sims 3 horse art I did when I was a part of Equus-Sims, you can have a look at eldervinefields.tumblr.com (it’s sadly not active anymore but all my stuff, including mods, is still there).

Thank you, Eldervine, for participating in this interview and this project. It’s very much appreciated.

To all my Valentines

I finally caved and wanted to write something special for the people that have made me feel so much love and joy by being here… It has been a wild ride here at mirsan dot tumblr dot com and I just wanted to take a minute to express my gratitude for some people that have blessed me in all the best ways possible. It got really long and mushy and I’m sorry for that, and I’m also sorry if my tired-ass brain forgot anyone, but here we go:

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Opposite - College AU

Summery: It’s hard to get into college. Even harder to make a good impression.

Triggers: pretentious art

Word Count: 900+

A/N: Finally got this done. The interview part actually happened to me. Written for a writing challenge by @thinkwriteexpress(*Gif not mine) Tagging:

Originally posted by love-buckybarnes

Your entire life had lead up to this. College. Every piece of homework, every assignment, every sleepless night spent trying to complete them. And it was all redundant unless you got this right. The interview.

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How Disrespect Drove One Artist to Leave Tumblr (Important, Please Read & Spread This)

One challenge of being an artist is managing how and where your artwork can be shared. Most often, artists will give permission to share their art if they are politely asked. 

However, when they discover that their art has been reposted without their permission, problems can quickly pop up. One such case is this artist below, who was notified that someone reposted one of her works, and went to contact the one responsible, not only to be rejected but also treated so badly that they decided to delete all their art and actually leave Tumblr for good.

The artwork that was asked to be taken down is posted below. 

At first glance it seems like a direct link to the artist’s twitter, but the thumbnail image is fairly large. Upon downloading it from the proxy site, it was 506x731, large enough for it to be reposted and further redistributed. 

Above is the response that the artist received when they asked the individual to remove their content. Even though the person made it sound like they would delete it, they in fact did not.

It doesn’t stop there. The individual then created a video, and told the artist to watch it to learn how links worked. So not only did they not listen to the artist to have the link to their OWN WORK removed, they also treated them as if they knew little to nothing. 

Not having any rights to control how their own work is shared, and being made to feel bad over bringing it up with the site owner, imagine how the artist felt when they scrolled down and saw this message unmistakably directed at them, even though it opens with plural ‘artists’:

Likely demoralized over the refusal to have their artwork link removed, and their mind reeling after reading the person’s rude message directed at them, the artist wrote their thoughts down, shortly before they deleted everything on their tumblr:

((For this part, I sought the assistance of some individuals who were fluent in Korean. With their help, we were able to make a direct translation of the artist’s last messages)):

As one can see, they were clearly upset. From reading their last few words, it seems that part of the conversation between the two parties that were submitted to me are missing, as it seems that there were further accusations from the site owner. 

I asked one of the native translators if they could describe the overall feeling expressed in those words, and here is what they told me:

Keep in mind that repost or link, it matters not when an artist asks for their work to be removed. They made it, they own it. 

Below is another message written soon after: 

The proxy site owner told the artist that if they didn’t want their artworks to be shared, then they ought to either publish them on a private blog, or to change the settings of the artist’s blog so that no public sharing links are visible. There are two errors with this argument. The first one is telling an artist they should set their works to private. How then, are people (respectful people) supposed to find the artist’s work, if none of their work can be seen, either through a recommendation from the artist’s host site, or through the site’s own image search? 

Secondly, how is the artist supposed to meet other people who also share their desire and interest for what they draw? Neither of those points take into consideration of the artist’s feelings on the matter. Besides, telling an artist what they should or should not do counts as overstepping boundaries. Artists do not draw for people. They draw because it’s their passion and they want to share that with others. They should not have to go out of their way or change their routine just because there are people who refuse to be decent and respectful.

The argument that artists should change the setting of their blog so that public sharing options are not visible is also inconsiderate. Is it the artist’s fault that the site they use does not carry the option to customize how their art is shared? DeviantArt is the only one that gives the power to control whether or not sharing through the site is allowed or not (artists may disable the share options). However, sites like Tumblr, Twitter, and Pixiv do not have that option, unless the artist sets their entire account to private, which brings back the first point I made. 

It puts a lid over the artist’s personal freedom and they will get virtually no feedback of any sort if no one can see their work because everything is set to private.

The ‘public link’ displays the artwork in nearly full dimension (instead of a small-sized thumbnail image preview like the ones that Google uses). If the artist allows public linking through thumbnail, then one ought to make sure that the thumbnail is small enough that potential viewers would have to visit the artist’s own site to enjoy the artwork. The artist is the one who deserves the credit, feedback, and number of page views. They are the ones who poured hours of work and time, and the ones who strained their wrists, hands, and eyes to create the picture.

Though there is a link to the direct source, how is there a reliable way to know that people are treating it more as a link rather than an image, if the large thumbnail size nullifies the purpose of redirecting the viewer to the artist’s own page? Put simply, why would I, the viewer, care about seeing how the artwork looks from the artist’s own site, since I can already see everything fully on the proxy site that I follow/visit?

This, combined with the fact that the full thumbnail was completely downloadable if one right click ‘save image as’, makes the link post behave almost the same as a repost that is linked directly to the art. 

None of this would have been an issue however, if the artist was asked for permission. They also wrote ‘Do not repost without permission’ on their blog. But aside from not being asked first, their request was met with refusal. They were patronized and accused falsely of ‘owning the internet’ over simply wanting to control how their artwork was shared. They were directed to watch a short video demonstration:

…which likely felt insulting, considering that the artist can understand English well enough to communicate with this person.

It’s not unusual for artists to abandon their tumblr when enough is enough. What is particular with this scenario is that it is not the repost-like link itself that deeply hurt the artist, nor were they hurt that they were not asked first ‒ more than likely, it was the rude manner in which they were treated and dismissed.  

It is impossible to control every single artwork that is published on the web, however people ought to listen when the artist contacts them personally and requests that their work not be used. With this case, the artist’s feelings were brushed aside, their rights were completely ignored, and their polite request dismissed without any consideration

And so, the artist likely thought that it would be less stressful if they shared their artwork on a site where they have better control. If they weren’t respected where they are, they may have felt that taking their hobby somewhere else would be better. Not long after those messages, all work was deleted. 

What had happened was one of the points in my post about What Art Theft Does to an Artist. Even though the proxy site owner did not claim the work as their own, they acted as if they did.

This is the first time I’ve seen an artist leave a fandom because of something like this. 

If doesn’t matter what the excuse is. When the creator of a work, whether it be an artist/writer/translator/scanner/editor makes a request to have something that belongs to them removed, regardless of whether it’s a full repost or a link, whether they gave permission to you previously or not ―

You Remove It. 

Simple as that. 

And before it is brought up: artists and such creators do not go running around asking people to take down their work for no reason. When they do it, it’s because they are not okay with how you shared it. Nor do they spend their time looking up who reposted their artwork; they are reported these things, and that is how they know. 

It baffles me where do some people get the gall to treat what they never made themselves, what they don’t even understand the process of making, like it belongs to them in any way. Artists are not machines that regularly dispense pretty pictures for you every few days for you to take and make your blog/site more attractive/interesting to people. 

They have lives too, and they feel deep pain and depression over things like this. They even feel anxiety before they publish their work, because they know there’s always a risk that comes with what they do. But they still do it because they love drawing, and they love to share it with friends.

So why don’t they have the right to control their work? Why are there some who are so engrossed in their narcissism that their own website takes precedence over the artist’s own feelings and welfare? 

As a community that seeks to protect artists, we need to be more educated about this issue. 

Therefore, once you read this, please reblog and spread this as much as you can. 

If you have a favorite artist or few whom you follow on Tumblr, think about how you would feel if something like this happened to them. 

Dead in the Water - Part 2

Word Count: 2730

Pairing: Eventual Dean x Reader

Warnings: Drowning, Language

A/N: Italics are flashbacks

Tagging: @aprofoundbondwithdean @letsgetoutalive @pb-5minutefanfiction @pb-5minutefanfiction @desiringspnimagines @spnfanficpond 

Series Rewrite Masterlist

The three of you went to the park the next day and spotted Andrea sitting on a bench watching Lucas. He was using another bench as a table to color. You walked toward her. “Can we join you?” Sam asked, puppy dog eyes in full effect. 

“I’m here with my son.” Andrea said, as Dean and you glanced over at Lucas. 

“Oh. Mind if I say hi?” Dean said as he walked over to Lucas. 

Andrea glared at you, “tell your friend the whole ‘Jerry Maguire’ thing is not going to work on me.” You looked at her and smiled, but it didn’t quite reach your eyes. 

“I don’t think that’s what this is about.” In fact, you knew it wasn’t. Dean had tried to convince you last night that between the two of you, you could get through to Lucas.

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Straight by “Default” (or, “No, your straight interpretation of a character isn’t any more valid than my queer one”)

So it’s been a while that I have felt so completely just shut down in a debate about comics.  I guess I spend way too much time on Tumblr, but when I dared post something alluding to Steve Roger’s bisexuality on Facebook, man did I awaken the Beast.

Here’s the thing.  “Tim” is a good guy.  He’s super cool, and I miss him, a lot, as he lives far away.  But I was just shocked that someone who usually so respects my opinions and views on thing how quickly my interpretations into Captain America were dismissed. 

Why are “fangirls’,” especially queer fangirls’, opinion on things so irrelevant to CisHet Fanboys?  In the course of the discussion, which I’ll get to below, he basically implies that he knows more about Captain America than I do - which isn’t to say he DOESN’T - I mean, he might.  But why just the assumption that he knows more?  Because he’s a guy?  He said that he felt he could “offer some insight” in this discussion about Captain America because “he has almost an obsession” with Cap.

That’s nice, Tim.  But did it EVER occur to you that I, also, have a “treasure trove” of knowledge about my favorite character, too?  Why did he assume I didn’t have my own “treasure trove” of Cap comics at my disposal?  We’ve never discussed comics before - he has NO IDEA the breadth and knowledge I have about any comics… I was just taken aback that the “Man” obviously knew more than the “girl” who was babbling on about this icon of Americana.

Anyway, here’s the conversation below… opinions?  Again, the conversation started about me mentioning I interpret Cap as bisexual, and that that’s NOT the same as thinking he’s gay.

Tim: It’s like the whole “who would win” argument that goes on all the time. It all depends on the writer. They always lend a bit of the way they see the characters they’re writing at the time. Take for example the run of Cap after 9/11. It was a very raw version of Cap. The writer took him in a direction that fit the mindset of many Americans at the time fighting Muslim terrorists. In that run he had flings with at least three women that I can think of off the top of my head (Scarlet Witch, Namorita and I believe Agent Carter). In two of these cases in particular he would have stayed with them had they not moved on by their own choice.

As far as the situation between he and Falcon in the movie, their meeting was playful but in a friendly brotherly kind of way. They weren’t necessarily checking out the car when Widow pulled up to get Cap.

Me:  Yeah but they weren’t necessarily checking out Natasha by that same argument.  Maybe Sam is bisexual, too.  Or, you know, some people are just so how it kind of transcends sexuality: like ScarJo.

But for real - Marvel doesn’t hide who they consider the better writers/helmsmen for certain characters.  Ed Brubaker, for example, is pretty universally reknown for being one of the best.

In the MCU - Marvel obviously LOVES the Russo Brothers/Marcus-McFeely team.  The Winter Soldier wasn’t the most financially successful of the Marvel Movies but they snatched that quadro up to not only write/direct CA:CW but Avengers: Infinity Wars 1 & 2.  

So, in lots of cases you can generally deduce who they thing “nailed” the character and who didn’t.  Also, by how much ret-conning is needed.

Also: how many women Steve has slept with doesn’t prove or disprove anything about his true orientation - especially if he’s bisexual.

Also, in the comics Sharon Carter ends up asking Steve to marry her because she’s tired of waiting for him to.  And his response was basically “Meh…. maybe?”  

Talk about a romance for the ages.

Tim: Yeah he had quite a few reasons not to marry her. She had turned much colder after her trials and being left for dead and all that. She was a much darker character and Steve never really found her to be the person he had cared for before all that.

As far as his sleeping with women not proving anything, you’re right. It doesn’t.  It is however concrete evidence of his love of women. Everything else is just people reading between the lines (which doesn’t prove anything) and the opinions of writers who enjoy the debate (like the while Wincest thing).
Source: an almost unbroken collection of all things Captain America from 1988 - 2015 (excluding Avengers runs except in the case of major crossovers) lol
In the end I wouldn’t care if he was bisexual, straight, gay, asexual. It wouldn’t matter. But at this point his sexuality is pretty straightforward unless there’s some serious retconning. Though after the changes that were made to his origin story during his Fight Terror run in the early 2000s, they can do anything they want. And in that case the changes were well done. They reflected the climate of American society at the time.

Me: I don’t think you’d have to do ANY retconning at all with Steve to have him “come out” as Bisexual, or even closeted homosexual (honestly I think he comes off as more coded gay in the comics than the movies, even).  I guess that’s my point - its not breaking ANYTHING that’s happened in character if he comes out.  Gay people sleep with women all the time before they realize their sexuality.  And if he’s bisexual than the fact that he hasn’t slept with a man (yet) doesn’t make him any less bisexual.

Another (queer) Friend: And given he’s a character from the 40s, lends more credibility to this being a character who had more of a reason to live in the closet or not have a full understanding of the modern gamut of sexuality.  Hell, I barely knew what being bisexual was until I was in my 20s.  I was confused for a long time - thinking that the only real options were straight or lesbian.  That I couldn’t consider a relationship with women because I’d been attracted to men in the past.   Or that my eye for women came from a sense of artistic appreciation since I did appreciate drawing the human figure.  Given the only depictions of bisexual people in most mass media at the time is (and unfortunately still is) characters like Oberyn or Jack Harkness that literally sleep with just about anything with a pulse and consent - that don’t stick to monogamous pairings…

Which is exactly why another reason Steve Rogers would be such a great representation of being able to be bisexual AND monogamous (or at least serial monogamy).

Tim:  Sure. “Would be”. I agree. But it’s still just reading between the lines. Of course Cap dreamed of Bucky. He was his best friend. He lost him and that hurt him mentally. He could be lying to himself since the beginning.I know plenty of people who either changed their minds about their sexuality later in life or had been hiding their true emotions all along. It happens. And I wouldnt be upset if that’s what they did with Cap. My only argument was that until they actually do that it’s just wishful thinking. The smart thing to do would’ve been to do that change during the run of the Ultimates but unfortunately they made him a much more aggressive and bigoted Cap.

Me:  But again, to call it “wishful thinking” actually borders on insulting - because queer people are forced to choke down and ENDLESS stream of heterosexual couples that have little to zero chemistry in virtually EVERY form of media out there - but since “straight” is the default setting in media, lots of queer characters have to be coded.  Its a sign of the times - but not necessarily wishful thinking.

To read about the Steve/Bucky, Steve/Tony, or Steve/Falcon (three very homoerotic relationships Steve’s had in his comic run) as say that its “he’s straight and to think otherwise is reading between the lines” is a very straight-washed way of viewing media.

There’s no evidence that specifically points to Steve NOT being bisexual.  Go ahead - name one.  The point is, you can’t.  Having sex with women doesn’t disprove it.  I’ve never seen a single comic panel where he is obsessively forced to say “I’m not bisexual!”  As I mentioned before, there have been villains in the past who try to use his machismo against him, virtually saying that the reason he’s all “manly man man” is to hide the reality from people - that deep down he’s queer.  

Even if you subscribe to the “writer’s intention” idea (which in itself is debatable , there’s a whole theory in literature about what people INTERPRET the media as is just as valid, if not moreso, than the writer’s intention) then we don’t know for sure?  Brubaker has hinted, though not explicitly stated, that he authored Cap with a queer bent.   He certainly seemed excited about the slash fiction coming out after The Winter Soldier (which he was consulted on, and even appeared in one of the scene).  But the point is, when Brubaker was writing comics he wouldn’t have been “allowed” to write Cap as queer, even if he wanted to.  But he got damned close.

And, yes its an AU, but as I’ve mentioned, too, Planet Hulk has virtually canonized Stucky… so at least on one world out there they are together.  And while AU’s are generally just that - alternate universes - the idea is generally accepted that they are generally the same “soul” - just put into different worlds/circumstances/etc.

Another (queer) Friend: Here’s the thing, too.  Ultimately, this is a fictional character who regardless of if they kill him of or not, eventually, he’ll be back.   Times change.  Eventually, someone’s going to pull that trigger and explore that route that has been speculated on literally for decades.  This is the most popular pairing in the MCU (above canon ships, and on a list that only has two gay pairings in the top ten):

This has been popular in comics, especially since retconning Bucky in the Brubaker run to be only a couple of years younger than cap. 

They’ve at the very least canonized the fact that the most important relationship in Steve’s life has been Bucky.  

This isn’t speculating the actual sexuality of a real person.  I honestly believe it’s inevitable, just a matter of when or in what context.

Tim:  Whoa now, nobody’s insulting you in a debate over a comic book character. Look elsewhere if you want to play the victim. I think you’re incorrect and have years of evidence not proving his sexuality but proving that it’s something that hasn’t been explored.

Would you also say I was a sexist  because I don’t care about the remake of Ghostbusters? Or a racist if I don’t like Obama? I’d hope not. Maybe I just don’t like remakes because i prefer original material. Maybe I don’t like someone’s political stance on issues.

If you don’t agree with the opinion of someone debating your claims that’s one thing. But don’t claim that I’m insulting you because I disagree with you.

Me:  I didn’t say you were insulting me, I was just pointing out that its dangerously close to being insulting to suggest that a queer-interpretation of a fictional character is “wrong” and the straight one is “right” when there’s really no definitive way to prove his sexuality either way.  

Saying that queer people are always just “reading between the lines” or that they have “wishful thinking” because they interpret something differently is the kind of stuff queer people have to deal with in media ALL the time.  And its tiring.  

Its tiring that ALL characters in media are assumed straight by default.  

Its tiring that the only way queer characters GET represented in media most of the time is through coding, especially in media marketed towards a younger audience, like comics.  

What I’m just trying to point out is that - its open to interpretation.  You don’t have to agree.  But you can’t claim to be “right” and the queers are “wrong” when it really IS a matter of how you consume the media.

Tim: Never said that I was right and all queers were wrong but this is like getting into a conversation with a religious person about the existence of God. Lack of evidence doesn’t mean you get to just put what you want there to fill the gap. I stated earlier that I’d be perfectly fine with what they do with him.

Unfortunately the evidence of him already exhibiting the tendencies to this point is utterly nonexistent.  Like the example of him living in a gay area of a city. I live in a predominantly bigoted and racist area of my state but that doesn’t make me the same. It’s not evidence.

I agree and have many times stated that there is a real lack of variety in media in general. We’re making strides, though maybe not quickly enough. When DC changed Alan Scott I felt that it was a publicity stunt and just tossing something out there to appease people, but they did it and it ended up being well constructed. They proved they weren’t ready to make that leap however when they wouldn’t allow Batgirl to marry her girlfriend.

I want more variety. I want people to have a hero that represents something about them that they can identify with. But I want it to be done properly and not by taking things out of context to try to force it to happen.

In the end I have a treasure trove of information about the character, bordering on obsession. At this point I could write a book on the character so I thought I could lend some of this to the conversation.

Me: But this is where we essentially  disagree. I could write a book on the character, too.  I AM obsessed with Captain America and frankly, I think you’re wrong to say that there’s no evidence in the existing canon.    

There are PANELS and PANELS and PANELS of him saying/doing things that can be interpreted as homoerotic.  With Bucky, and Tony, and with Falcon.  

You read them as straight/platonic.  Okay, fine.

But others read them differently - again Steve Rogers has been a mini little gay icon in comics for DECADES.  

But you can’t just say “There’s no evidence!”  There IS evidence.  There are tons of interactions with him and Bucky, or him and Tony, that can be read with homoerotic overtones.

What do we know for sure?  He’s slept with women.  Presumably even fallen in love with women.  That doesn’t mean he’s not queer.  He could be deeply in the closet, or (in my opinion, more likely) he could be bisexual.

You don’t stop being bisexual because you’ve never been with, or are not currently with, someone of the same gender.  For example, I have a friend who identifies as as bisexual man, but he’s never so much as even dated a guy.  It doesn’t mean he isn’t bisexual.  

So again, just because they haven’t explored any sexual relationships with men doesn’t mean that his feelings for Bucky are strictly platonic.   You and I can read the same panel and you get “mentor/mentee” vibes.  I read the same panel and get “he’s his emotional center”.  

Cap hardly EVER (I’d like to say NEVER, but being as I haven’t recoded EVERY instance in every comic when he’s talking about Bucky) refers to Bucky as anything other than his partner or his friend.  He doesn’t tend to say things like “He’s like a son to me” or “I love him like a brother” like you see a lot, for example, with Batman and Robin.

Again, that’s not evidence that he feels anything more than platonic.  But its also not evidence that he isn’t.

That’s the point I’m trying to make.  You keep saying “Its just not there,” and my point is, “Yes, it is.”  Your “straight” reading/interpretation of the character isn’t any more valid than my queer reading/interpretation of the character.

Another (CisHetMale) Friend:  Devil’s advocate: you can’t prove a negative, so you might as well say there’s zero evidence that I’M not bisexual as well. And plenty of evidence that I am (appreciate male forms, have said repeatedly that Chris hemsworth is hot, have pulled the hair of men or hit them for their (and my) enjoyment, etc). So nobody can accurately say he’s not bisexual. I just don’t think he is because “reasons”, and those reasons might be because I’m looking at him from an outdated perspective and because I’m oblivious to the signs. Meh.

Like I said. Cap fights for all Americans. Gay, straight, male, female, and bisexual and everything in between.

….in that vein, I would like to see how he reacts to being hit on by a transgender person sometime. Just to see. It would be very interesting, no matter what he does.

Me:  No, you can’t prove a negative.  But you, as a real person and not a fictional character, can self-identify as straight.  Captain America has never so concretely defined his sexuality.   Also, we're  talking about fictional characters, too, whose mental workings are being interpreted by the reader, and depending on your theory on literature; that’s more the “true” interpretation than what the author “intended.”

But that’s kind of the point.  You can read Cap as queer, or you can read him as straight.  One is not a “better” or “more canon” interpretation than the other.


So there you have it?  Am I reading too much into it?  Am I just dead wrong, or is really THAT hard for people to just sit back and LISTEN to what marginalized people (in this case, a queer woman) have to say?

The Pajama Fic: Part 17

*A belated Merry Christmas.”

“He’s just arrived, guys!” Phil shouts from the hallway.

“Alright we’re coming!” You yell back, double checking that your phone was in your bag. “Are you coming Dan?” You ask through Dan’s door as you walk down the corridor and past the entrance to his room. In response your hear some swearing and the sound of an aerosol can. You sigh. “Are you even remotely ready yet?” You ask with a smile on your face.

“Yeah, yeah, of course.” Dan says with poorly disguised panic in his voice.

“Can I come in?”

“Uhm…give me a minute.” You swing the door open anyway and find Dan desperately trying to pull on some skinny jeans.

“Who procrastinated?” You ask with a laugh.

“I procrastinated.” He replied defeatedly.

“How long have you known we were going out now?” YOu cross you arms in condescension.

“An hour.” Dan admits.

“Shall I tell Phil to hold the taxi for a bit?”

“Yes please.” Dan looks up at you with a puppy dog expression.

“What would you do without me?” You rhetorically ask, rolling your eyes and smiling. You leave Dan to his struggles and head off to find Phil. You find him sooner than you think, stood in the kitchen making coffee for a strange man.

“Um..hello?” You say, surprised.

“Oh hi Y/N.” Phil says with a smile, handing the cup of coffee to the stranger. “I knew that Dan would be late because he always is and so I invited our taxi driver in for a coffee.” You smiled at Phil, he looked so genuinely happy to be chatting to a new person.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Chuck. And I still can’t get over the fact that he says taxi!” He said with a smile, offering out his hand which you shake in greeting.

“I just can’t say ‘cab’, it sounds wrong coming from my mouth!” Phil laughs, sipping on his own coffee.

“It is awful nice of you to invite me in though.” Chuck says gratefully.

“Well that’s Phil for you.” You smile, running over to Phil and giving him a peck on the cheek.

“Oh, are you two together then?” He asks innocently.

“No, she’s with me.” You hear Dan say from behind you. You turn to see him hopping into the room, holding his wallet in his mouth and attempting to pull on a sock as he walked. As you all turned to look at him he overbalanced and proceeds to fall flat on his face.

“Yeah, I’m with that one.” You sigh, shaking your head at him whilst the boys laugh.

“Well, good luck lady!” Chuck chimes in.

20 minutes later Chuck tells you that you’re pretty much at your destination. You climb out, appreciating the glorious sunshine and the abundance of attractive people. Chuck thanks you for the coffee and then points out the building that was apparently the first shop on the list from Sony.

“Are you sure?” You ask again, incredulously. He nods his head and you gulp. The building possessed an immaculate white façade with a geometric window display close to artistic masterpiece, the main feature of which was a Haute Couture Oscar De La Renta ballgown.

“Maybe I should have worn matching socks.” Says Phil articulating how awkward we all felt.

“Don’t worry I won’t let them change your style!”  You laugh, linking your arm with his.

“Does my fringe look okay?” Dan asks, checking himself in the reflection of his phone.

“You look great, don’t worry.” You compliment him, suddenly aware of how scuffed your shoes were.

“Okay let’s go.” Says Dan, marching up to the entrance where a surly but well dressed usher stood guard, rather like an exclusive nightclub. As Dan approached he nodded at him trying to relieve some of the obvious tension that was in the air.

“Good afternoon Mr Howell. I hope you enjoy your visit.” Dan noticeably jumped as the guard addressed him.

“Ummm….” Is all Dan can say in shock.

“No need to look so scared, Sir.” The guard said, trying to remain professional but suppressing a laugh. “Sony provided a list of who was arriving today, normally customers book times to visit.” He explain with a polite nod.

“Ohhh..yeah…of course.” Dan answered, glancing back at you and Phil with a lost expression. Yourself and Phil shrug simultaneously in response.

“You are also welcome Ms. Y/L/N and Mr. Lester.”

“Uh, thank you.” Phil says, filling the awkward silence and bobbing a little on the spot. All of you shuffle awkwardly through the entrance and burst into giggles.

“Phil did you just bow to him?” You snicker.

“Shut up, no I didn’t, I just panicked okay?” He retorts, his face pink. You all enter the shop, ruby red in the face from stopping yourselves from laughing, feeling like it was inappropriate in the very futuristic and overly polished shop interior. You hear Dan humming ‘I’m so fancy’ under his breath as another host greets you.

“Good afternoon, I’m Jenny and will be your host whilst you’re with us today. We have stylists on hand in the store, feel free to ask any of them for advice or if you would like to try any of our ranges. Please browse our collection whilst I get them for you.” She gestures widely to the huge, open plan store and you shuffle past her attempting to remain serious. Once free from the observant stare of Jenny you all breath a sigh of relief and actually take a look round you.

“Oh my God!” Dan exclaims, dropping dead in his tracks causing yourself and Phil to barge into the back of him.

“Dan what is it?” You whisper, not wishing to draw any more attention to your obvious incongruousness to your settings.

“L-l-look at the label!” Dan says excitedly, pointing at a minimalist collection displayed to your right. You frown, trying to work out why Dan was practically hyperventilating. “That’s mother fucking Kanye West’s new season’s collection.” Dan is literally hopping on the spot in excitement. He turns to you and shakes your shoulders like a little kid and then looks back at the clothes. “Do you think I can touch them?” Eyes sparkling he slowly extends a finger to touch the nearest piece of clothing. Gently he strokes a finger down the lapel of charcoal grey, deconstructed jacket-thing.

“Hello, I’m Diane, can I help you with anything today?” A confident voice breaks the silence. Dan literally did a short scream at being disturbed mid clothes stroking.

“I see you’re interested in Kanye’s new season. You are welcome to try this item, I could source some other clothes based off this as well if you would like?”

“I can try it?” Asked Dan like a complete moron.

“Of course, Sir.” Her professional veneer not quite covering her concerned look as Dan started stroking a nearby shirt. She slipped the jacket of the hanger and turned it around, gesturing for Dan to put his arms into the sleeves. Dan shoots you a wide grin and then squeals as he slips it on.

“Dan if you cry because you’re wearing a fucking Kanye jacket I think imma leave.” You laugh, crossing your arms condescendingly.

“Yeah I’m agreeing with Y/N.” Says Phil, noticing how Dan’s eyes had gone kind of sparkly.

“Yeah alright, thanks!” Dan says, turning to the mirror to take a look. “I feel like he’s right here with me, embracing me with a warm hug.”

“Okay, I can’t fucking deal with you being in love with a jacket that looks like it’s from Mugatu’s Deralicte campaign.” You say, throwing your hands in the air and stalking off to look at more pretentious clothes. You hear audible gasps from both Dan and the personal stylist. You browse the wrack but see nothing that really suits you or seems to fit the event, you turn to look for Dan and Phil. Dan is still stood by the Kanye section, lovingly discussing each piece of clothing with the assistant who seems delighted that he know what he’s talking about. You turn your head and catch Phil’s eyes; he’s staring at you from across the store, head and shoulder above a clothing rail a lost look blatant in his eyes. That combined with the almost predatory assistance that was hovering a few rail behind him attempting to be invisible, you couldn’t help think he looked a little like a looked like scared prey…maybe a gazelle. You smile reassuringly at him and decide to ask Dan if he would mind moving onto another store - this one didn’t really seem to have that either of you wanted. As you glanced over at him you saw the sales assistant squeeze his arm before handing him another weird jacket with a simpering giggle. Phil saw you narrow your eyes at her and pulled a highly awkward face.

“Okay, Dan, I was thinking we should move on now. Phil and I think somewhere else would suit us better.” You say in an almost unnecessarily loud voice. Dan looks up, confused, to find you almost upon him. You grab his hand and pull him somewhat unceremoniously from the store. Phil waves an awkward farewell to the shop assistant who is pouting her lips in annoyance of your sudden departure. YOu can’t help think to yourself that you acted a bit rashly, I mean Dan wasn’t necessarily flirting back, and you weren’t the controlling type. You sigh to yourself. Well at least it got you out of the store, there genuinely wasn’t anything of interest for you in there and Dan would have been hard to drag away if you had left him time to think. Once you hit the bright light of the Los Angeles street Dan opens his mouth to ask your motivation for dragging you all out of the store so suddenly. Phil shakes his head defiantly at Dan, having seen exactly what happened: You pretend not to notice.

“Okie dokie, the next store is just round the corner.” Says Phil, almost too cheerfully, breaking the awkward atmosphere. He looked down at his phone and then pointed down the avenue.  “It should just be down there.”

The next shop you come to is somewhat less ‘deep’ and ‘arty’. In fact, Phil loves it. Moschino’s 2016 spring/summer collection is there and despite you thinking it’s horrendously garish, you have to admit it’s pretty fun.  

“Look, Dan, Y/N, they finally have a suit that matches my personality!” Delights Phil, gesturing to a pink floral, cropped trouser suit-thing with luminous green epaulets.

“You could rock that.” You say with a nod.

“Phil I want to play along but I’m actually terrified you would wear that.” Admits Dan, leaning back into one of his full body laughs. Fortunately the staff in this shop seem less austere, if just as attentive, as the previous store so the noise doesn’t bother them.

“They do actually have some Givenchy over there Dan.” You inform him, after peering over a rail and recognising one of his more lavish jackets. he lets out a more excited ‘Oooh’ and disappears. You decide to follow him, since Phil seems absorbed in all the technicolour.

Dan ends up trying a couple of things. Some more deconstructed cut suits that he was instantly drawn to - one without lapels, another that was deliberately cut long that you both had to admit made him look a bit paunchy.

“May I suggest something?” Proffers the far more approachable sales assistant from this store. Dan nods in agreement, shrugging off the jacket he had slipped on. “Well you’ve very wide shoulders, long limbs and you’re quite skinny so it’s best not to go for a style that’s meant to length you. Instead go for a style that broadens you. Like this.” Her opinion was so brutally honest that Dan couldn’t help but nod so she slipped it up over his arms and turned him round to button the front. he winks at you as she leans to do the buttons and you scowl back. Dan turned around again to look in the mirror and you couldn’t help but agree that she had taste. The jacket was incredibly sleek and jett black. Unlike Dan’s other stuff it was double breasted, and cut quite high, giving him the appearance of a thick chest and intense style. You bit your lip. It looked amazing. Dan breathed out a huff of air.

“I think I’m going to take it.” He says decisively, turning this way and that to admire it in the mirror.

“I thought you might say that.” The assistant said with a knowing smile. “I’ll go get Micheal, he does all the fittings here. He’ll measure you for any alterations in the jacket and fit you to a matching trouser. Although I think you’re a pretty good size for our display pieces. We’ll send your order to you house once it’s been fitted…” Her voice trails as she walks off with Dan, no doubt taking him to some tailoring room. He follows behind her, lovingly stroking the jacket. Finding the store focused mainly on men’s wear you wondered back in the direction of Phil, wondering if he had found any luck. You spy him still in the Moschino collection, except he wasn’t alone. A very tiny, red haired girl was chatting to him and you couldn’t help eavesdropping.

“I’m so glad you like them too, none of the other workers seem to appreciate her collection. I think it’s brilliant. why wear black all the time when there are so many colours.” She announces in a delicate voice. You couldn’t help notice she barely came up to his elbow and was incredibly cute.

“That’s what I always tell Dan. he never seems to get it though…” Phil rubs his head awkwardly.

“Oh, are you to…a thing…?” She asks tremulously.

You scoff into the back of your hand in amusement, not wanting them to know that you could over hear them.

“No, no, no, everyone always says that, we’re just good friends. He has a girlfriend, I’m just…you know…single.” Phil says, laughing awkwardly.

“Oh…coool.” She says, like a complete dork, mimicking his awkward laugh. You bite your lip to stop yourself from smiling.

“So, are you from around here?” He asks after an awkward but loaded pause.

“Yeah, I was from Massachusetts but I wanted to get into fashion so applied to some stuff here…” She says trailing off. “Are you?”

“Nope. I’m from England.”

“I should have guessed from the accent. You sound really smooth.” You have to stop yourself from giggling at the idea of Phil being smooth.

“Haha, really, no one has told me that before.” Replied Phil, going slightly pink.

“Yeah, no matter what you say it will sound really smart and sophisticated.” She says with an adoring smile.

“Oh, I’ve never thought of that. I can say anything. What about ‘tickle my wenis’ or ‘a baboon’s testicles’. Do I still sound smooth?” Says Phil like a bumbling idiot. You slap your hand to your forehead in exasperation.  God he’s useless sometimes.

“Phil, what are you doing? Don’t blow this.” You whisper rhetorically to yourself. But to your surprise she giggles with him.

“Yes, you still sound super smooth.” She certifies, blushing from giggles. You shake your head in amazement that that just worked. The two of them quieten down again and you can feel the tension rising.

“Hey, I was wondering could I, perhaps, if you don’t mind, you know., could I…” Stumbled Phil. ‘Come on, you can do it’ you think, biting your lip with the tension of listening to the outcome. “Well, could I get your numb…”

“ONWARDS FRIENDS FOR I HAVE DONE MY SHOPPING!” Bellows Dan and he strides over to Phil oblivious to the atmosphere that he just shattered into a million pieces around him.

“Daniel Howell, we are leaving right now.” You say, giving a knowing look to Phil as you suddenly appear from behind a rail of clothing, desperate to intervene in an attempt to salvage the delicate situation. For the second time today you find yourself escorting Dan very rapidly out of a shop. For the second time today Dan is completely oblivious as to why.

“Okay, what the fuck did I do thi…”

“Phil was about to ask for that girl’s number you blithering idiot!” You say, shaking him by the arm and trying to peer in the window to the shop to see if Phil had managed to save the day. “Oooooh!” Said Dan, joining you at peering through the front window. “Do you think he managed it?” He asked inquisitively.

“If you didn’t balls it up by ruining the mood.” You scoff at him.

“Oh no, what if I ruined Phil’s chance at finding love!” He coos. “Can you see him?”

“No, he doesn’t seem to be by the place we left him.” You and Dan lean a little more forward, peering into more of the shop in search of Phil and his sweet little ginger helper.

“Was she cute?” Asks Dan like a teenager at a sleepover.

“She was adorable.”

“Oh I want to see her. Maybe if I stand…”

“What are you guys doing?” A deep voice asks from behind making you both jump out of your skins.

“Oh..hi..Phillip.” You say, spinning around on the spot and composing yourself.

“DId you ask her?!?!” Dan says, less subtly.

“Piss off.” Retorts Phil. Swearing, unlike himself. You and Dan share a grim expression and assume the worse.

“Let’s head off and find you both something to wear then.” Suggests Dan, clapping his hands together over-enthusiastically and turning slightly red.

A few minutes late you find yourselves at another high end store where you sent off Dan to help Phil choose something out for himself. You stood watch as Dan showed him through a  rack of well cut suits, holding a few up to his friend with a smile. You loved to watch them together, Dan always seemed so happy and at peace when he was with Phil. Dan caught you staring a shot you a wink. You blushed.

“Excuse me, ma’am, can I help at all.” A tall flamboyant gentleman stood behind you, a long glossy green gown thrown lazily over his arm, the other one poised on his hip. “I’m going to rephrase that. please let me dress you.” With little else to do you gave him a nod and he instantly dragged you off to a changing area at the back of the store. You barely had time to shoot Dan a shrug before he had taken you away. You stood in the changing room, looking around at the empty space wondering that was going to happen next. To your surprise the man stepped inside the cubicle with you. “okay, let me see these colours.” He sort of sang at you. He held a fe swabs of fabric next to your face, then to your chest then back to your face again. “Spin.” He commanded. And you span. “Okay, perfect, I’ve got stuff for you to try.” instinctively you  reach for the dress over his arm. “No not that, that’s last year, that’s trash.” he then proceeds to literally throw the gown over his shoulder and you gasp a little as it crumples on the floor. He then proceeds to storm out of the changing room and you hear him shout “Candice bring me that Dior!” At the top of his voice. You stand awkwardly in silence. he returns with not one dress, but about 17. You literally cannot see him behind all the tulle and organza and god knows what else. “Try these ma’am. And then come and show me when you’re done.” He then proceeds to slam the door quite ferociously behind him. You decide it’s best to do as he says without complaint. The first dress you slip on is a soft pink silk thing that you feel quite exposed in. You step out the changing rooms to find, not only the flamboyant man, but Dan and Phil sat in little plush thrones that had since been positioned outside the door. “You have an audience, ma’am, have a little show biz.” he remarks at your timidness. You do a little spin.

“I think you look…” Begins Dan with a smile.

“Definitely not, oh gosh, no.” Says the man, throwing his hand up in disgust. Dan looks at him confused then looks back to you. You giggle and then walk back into the changing room. you couldn’t help think that if this was a movie, you would be currently having a montage, except the reality was a lot of awkward waiting as you fumbled about in the changing rooms attempting to try on difficult dresses. It started getting a bit repetitive when each time you went out you met the beginning of a heartfelt compliment by Dan and/or Phil only to be cut off by the eccentric man’s caterwauling.

“I might need some help here.” You mumble through the fabric of a rather impressive purple skirted dress. There is no way you can get this on alone.  You hear the door open and close gently and feel some fingers tracing up your back, grabbing the copious amounts of fabric and slipping it down around you. The touch was gentle and you turned to find it was Dan, stood intimately close to you, now working on the difficult fastenings on the back of the black bodice. He expression was a serious one, containing more intensity than you expected.

“There you go.” He whispers, almost inaudibly. You turn to find your faces incredibly close. “I wanted you to know that I think you’ve looked beautiful in everyone of those dresses.” He continued. You felt his warm breath on your neck. Your heart rate doubled. “Come on you two, no naughty stuff or I’ll bust in there and stop you.” The eccentric man’s voice breaks the moment’s intimacy. You both laugh and you step back out the changing room. This time you’re not met with a cry of defeat so yourself, Dan and Phil stare at him in anticipation of a reaction.

“It’s perfect.” he finally breathes out, incredibly relieved. “What do you think of it, ma’am?” You sigh a little.

“You had to choose the hardest one to put on, didn’t you.” You all laugh.

About an hour you all end up piling out of the taxi outside the house. You slump down on the sofa inside, exhausted from your day of shopping.

“You guys have a nice polyamorous day out together?” Asked Tyler, sipping some sort of colourful tropical drink out of curly straw. You playfully shove him a bit.

“Actually, I was the only person that wasn’t hit on all day.” You say with a huff.

“Oh babe, I’d hit on you.” He says, patting your shoulder.

“Wait who hit on me?” Asks Dan, completely clueless.

“Ohhh, sir. You share my love of Kanye. Let me measure you. Let’s sensually stroke these jackets together.” Mocked Phil, cuddling up next to Dan and imitating the shop assistants loving gaze.

“Oh.” Realised Dan. “Oh.” He looks at you. “Oooh, is that why we left early.”

“Oh my god you are a blind man.” Laughed Tyler.

“Phil that was actually an amazingly accurate impression.” Phil takes a little bow.

“Okay that’s it, I’m going to my room.” Dan stalks off in fake annoyance and you follow him back to his room. He hugs tackles you to the bed and kisses your nose.

“Did you get jealous?” He smirks.

“Oh piss off Dan.” You say lovingly.

So I found out that the merlin fandom was doing a fandom body swap thing. where  fan artists write fan fiction and fan writers draw art. 

And I found out about it like an hour ago so this little ficlet is totally written on the fly and I am sorry for any typos or editing that needs to be done but I didn’t have much time. But anyway I thought it would be easier to write a continuation of one of my AU comics.. and I chose leaf head, for no particular reason. 

(screenshot of source comic, where we left off)

Anyway here is what I have written.


[Arthur/Merlin]   [G with some swearing]   [word count: 600 something.]

Arthur glared at the offending leaf in his hand. It felt crisp against his fingers, fragile enough to disintegrate if he applied pressure. It’s rusty red was not as red as the blush that burned across his face. He felt hot, and had an uncomfortable squirming deep in his gut he really didn’t like.

Keep reading

The One with the Christmas Party

Hey @lynyrdwrites I bet you forgot about that ‘Married!Carenzo throwing a Christmas party which Klaus crashes’ prompt? Christmas was a while ago, but life’s short and I really love this prompt. Functions in the same universe as this drabble where Carenzo are married for tax purposes and Klaus shows up because he’s thirsty for Caroline. Klaroline, Carenzo brotp, enjoy!

If anyone cared to ask, Enzo thought he was a great husband.

Sure, the marriage was ‘technically’ fake. The current intricacies of the American tax system tended to be forgotten when you were more concerned with staying alive amidst ancient sorcerers, homicidal covens and the occasional one-night stand who couldn’t take a hint. But when the time came that he thought ‘Why not give settling down a go’ it became quickly apparent that there was a lot of compulsion in his future – and he wasn’t even sure he was telling the right lies.

Enter Gorgeous.

It’s not like he forced her into any of it, and she was perfectly on board once she’d made her sixth pros and cons list. (A significant amount of begging in the form of shoes might have been involved but that’s neither here nor there.) In the end, she was his closest friend and she’d agreed, which was something he’d always love her for.

Oh sure, anyone (read: certain temperamental hybrids) would assume he was secretly carrying a torch for darling Caroline, but aside from one night involving a game of truth and dare that had gotten a little out of hand, they’d never fallen into that habit, nor did they need to. Lovers were easy enough to come by. Best friends were harder.

So it was domestic life for them, bickering over groceries, and Netflix queues, and who was in charge of which bill that month. It was a lot of late nights spent laughing over the antics of her coworkers, or lazy Sunday mornings dancing around their kitchen to Taylor Swift (anyone asks and he swears on pain of death that it was Caroline who forced him to listen to 1989 on repeat.)

All and all, they had a great time. And it may not have been the most traditional arrangement, but Enzo thought he was a fantastic spouse.

After all, how many husbands would put up with their wife’s piece on the side?

“Klaus, mate! How’s New Orleans life?”

Anyone else would probably cower in front of the hybrid who must have been entertaining murder fantasies, but Enzo had no such qualms. He clapped the man on the shoulder and led him into the Christmas party which was in full swing, the apartment crammed with friends and coworkers. It had been Caroline’s brainchild, a way to enjoy a party with their new friends before she faced some of her hometown friends later in the month.

So, he’d gamely agreed to the decorations (it looked like an elf had thrown up. Everywhere). He’d put up with taste testing all the food (if he ever ate another sugar cookie again, it would be too soon). He’d put together the music (and was told in no uncertain terms that there would be caroling and he would be joining in). And when his dear wife wasn’t looking, he’d sneaked an invitation and sent it himself, addressed to one Klaus Mikaelson in New Orleans.

(What can he say; he’s trying to make up for accidentally deleting all those episodes of Scandal off the DVR.)

“Is Caroline here?” Klaus asked through gritted teeth, trying to keep in his temper in check as someone who’d clearly indulged in too much eggnog bumped into him.

“Oh I’m sure she’s around here somewhere. Don’t suppose you want to wear a Santa hat?” The glare Enzo got in response could have melted glaciers. “No? Well I suppose ‘Santa Klaus’ would be a bit on the nose.”

He really was pushing it and he knew it, but a very public murder was quickly averted by the hostess making her way through the crowd, smiling widely at the guests, a vision in a red lace dress. She spotted Enzo and lifted a hand to wave him over, but faltered as soon as she saw who was with him.

Enzo had been roped into seeing enough romantic comedies to know exactly how the music would swell, how the focus between the two would be pulled so that they were the only two people in the room. But the movies never described what happened to anyone who had to witness all of this, which he did, smirking at their speechlessness. How these two managed to dance around each other was a great source of hilarity to him, and he watched them now, staring at each other like they’d found the light. As funny as it was, he really thought he should help them get a move on things.

“Goldilocks, Mrs. Papadakis was wondering if you could put this with the other coats.”

“Huh?” With much effort, Caroline managed to look over at Enzo who was holding out an old shawl that he’d ‘borrowed’ from their elderly neighbour. She nodded mutely, taking the shawl and Enzo looked back at the hybrid who was watching her hungrily.

“Klaus, why don’t you go ahead, take your coat off?” He practically pushed them both out of the living room, down the corridor that led to Caroline’s bedroom, and was gratified to see that they took the hint and locked the door behind them.

Honestly. He was such a good husband.


The door clicked behind Caroline and she was completely alone with Klaus, all her plans of hosting the best Christmas party ever flying out of her head. She’d done her duty and everyone was having a great time, so what was the harm in ignoring her guests for a little while?

Especially when there was now one guest that required all her attention.

“Hello love,” Klaus said, slightly hoarse, as if seeing her once again after months apart had taken his breath away. Talking on the phone was nothing compared to seeing her there, right in front of him, long legs on display under that sinfully short dress…

“Klaus? Did you hear me?”

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cover version: daredevil 230 and cutting techniques

life is feeling particularly unmanageable and i am feeling particularly powerless tonight so i thought if i could trick my brain into thinking about comics for a little while maybe i could get to sleep.

i’ve talked before about reverse-engineering comics, or doing cover versions, as being a big part of how i started to teach myself how to write comics. sometimes people look at me as though i’ve just opened my mouth and a torrent of fish and gold coins spilled out so I never know if it makes any sense. you basically sit with a finished comic and a blank page in front of you and you try to work out how they made it. You’ve got the finished result sitting by your side so it’s not hard — and if you change up the nature of what you’re looking for and how you go looking for it you can learn stuff sometimes.

i did one tonight of DAREDEVIL #230 by Frank Miller, David Mazzucchelli, Richmond Lewis, and Joe Rosen. It’s part… four? of a storyline called “Born Again.” it’s one of my favorites.

I’m particularly enamored of cutting right now — how a comic goes from scene to scene on a page or across any given number of pages. Traditionally pages are considered something like stanzas and kept whole; scene changes come on page-flips. However in the mid to late eighties as art comics, experimental comics, and what we’ve come to think of as alternative comics came to the fore and smart people started to stop thinking of comics as being just Kids Stuff, art/experimental/alternative choices, styles, and techniques bubbled up into the superhero mainstream.

(i guess that’s all sort of received wisdom and i’ve never just grabbed a random bunch of comics from the seventies and eighties and clocked where the cuts come. some other depressed and sleepless night, maybe)

Miller’s work, which at its most baroque during this phase could be almost Faulknerian in its narrative shifts, tells “Born Again” across multiple plotlines and times. There are two different first person narrators and a close-third omniscient narrator.   there is literally one instance of a nondiagetic narrative insertion in the issue of three total across the whole storyline. And the cuts come anywhere and everywhere — at some points across four different locations/times/storylines on a single page.

what i really wanted to do was pick his sense of cutting apart a little bit, just to get a feel for how they did it. i wanted to pay attention to that tonight.

so i took my little notebook, two pens, and a copy of the issue (reprinted, actually, as part of a trade in 1987. that means it was one of Marvel’s first and, as a result, the pagination — meaning what pages were planned to be on the left and what pages were planned to be on the right are fucked up here, which i only know because an overfamiliarity with the actual issues already. interesting to note that in the IDW artist’s edition, the pages are hand-numbered with what their actual number would be, meaning they knew where the ads would be placed… or maybe Ralph macchio, the editor, added that? I’ll ask him…)

Anyway so I opened to the first page, did a little thumbnail drawing of the panels there, and noted what timeline/plotline/etc was happening where. I hashed in some of ‘em when they got really cooking. that looks like this:

So one of my favorite sequences starts on page 11. Ben Urich, a reporter and friend of Daredevil, listens to the murder of a source who confessed to being bribed by the Kingpin to bear false witness against Daredevil (who, you of course all know, was actually introduced in Miller’s very FIRST issue of DAREDEVIL as writer and artist. DUH, i know, 101 shit, but here we are).

We start on 11, on the final tier of the page, in the third location/plotline of the page. Ben, on deadline, writes in the chaos of the Daily Bugle office when his phone rings. Ben answers —

Picking up on page 12, we cut back and forth across five panels (three times to Ben, twice to the source) as the source tries to tell his truth on the record. Ben, scared for his life, stalls. The locations have dramatically different lighting. Yellow mostly at the bugle, with ben boxed into the center of frame by two editors; the source, laid up in traction, black and blue. Probably not a coincidence that.

Originally there was a page flip; this destroys an effect.

So in this collection you flip to 13; now the source — and his murder — get three frames and Ben two, but in each of the ben frames we PUSH IN to him. Then on 14 ben beings to change color, from orange, to bright red. the killer taunts him and we cut away before the end of the page.

There’s a nice sequencing that happens when you look at the pages as intended, with the 3/2 ratio changing up between the flips.

And then we cut to a new story and location entirely. Rather than treat pages as stanzas, as indivisible units, Miller and co. seem to treat tiers as units — in all but one sequence of the book, any time one moves their eyes down, a sequence/timeline/plotline/location edit could occur.

That exception comes on page 17 and it’s the lead-up to the emotional climax of the issue.

My drawings are hard to interpret but on a seven panel page, we have two long flashback panels to manolis’s murder at top and bottom; Ben, long and tall, between those like a pillar, then Matt, the nun who may or may not be his mother, and his two best friends in the middle. Four discrete timelines, four discrete plot happenings, all in one page. it’s such a chaotic cut that when somebody like me sits with it making a twitchy-handed drawing of it in a tiny notebook it leaps out at you.

while the book follows no grid or pattern, there are certain rules seemingly at play so this violation of that rule draws attention to itself. as well it should — all of our characters in the three forward-moving plot threads here are at crises points simultaneously.

So that’s interesting. I’d picked up subconsciously that cuts could come with new tiers but not in the middle of a tier… and so when that rhythm is broken, you’re forced to slow down and think for a second about what you’re seeing and reading.

this makes cutting between four! five even six plot lines in a small, 22-page space possible. By not having to cut on a page flip, threads can be pared down to their bare minimum and moved on from. The real estate each of these scene cuts would otherwise require simply isn’t there – this issue alone would require 40 pages.

And what you’re seeing and reading is that this page also picks up on a triangle motif introduced on page two that informs multiple pages in the issue, echoing the Pietá:

Matt and Maggie.

Kingpin. the panel structure informs the triangle composition here as well as the drawings; also kingpin stands at his apotheosis in this issue. It’s all downhill from here.

JJJ and Ben. Again the panels inform the composition. The truth is the bearing down on ben.

Kingpin again. And the worm has begun to turn.

Matt, Foggy, and Karen. The pages where the scheme all goes shithouse.

Ben. Foggy and Karen. Truth and believing in Matt Murdock will save the day.

Karen and foggy. Two triangles here. Their friendship standing upright; the weight of the world crushing them down. The answer: judaism. No, wait.

An outright triangle — in the must-have IDW Artist’s Edition, you can see Mazzucchelli’s notes on the page making sure the triangle is visible and encouraging white paint to be added to the base.

Finally, then, on 22 — matt and maggie. And once more the panel structure supports the triangle. A wide singular panel sits atop two panels, which sit atop three panels.

And these are just the SIMPLE triangles. 

Now, as a writer, i dunno that I would ever go into a script and say “Okay, now bury a triangular composition here atop the page” or whatever — and I’d bet Miller didn’t either. I have one of his scripts from this period and it’s not got any of that kind of writing in it at all — i’d be surprised if it was different here.

It goes to show, then, how much more an artist contributes to the writing than simply drawing what happens. it goes to show how lucky a writer is to find an artist as smart and simpatico as Mazzucchelli was with Miller. It goes to show how much you things you don’t see push a narrative not just forward but pushes it down deeper and creates a richer, more complex, experience.

Because even when you don’t notice — you notice.

Oh! That nondiagetic caption:

That little “Downtown” bit in panel one of the above image. It’s the only time that a non-narration bit of text happens in-frame in the issue. it happens twice more in the final issue but that’s it, i think.

the scene follows up a phone call we saw Kingpin make and sets up a sequence in the next issue but here, clearly, someone thought it was too incongruous with the other story lines and needed an iota of clarification. It reeks of editorial note to me but there’s nothing in the artist’s edition to indicate either way. I could ask ralph but, jesus, who’d remember one lone caption placed in a panel twenty-five years ago?

oh shit — i just found one more triangle, but you have to cheat to see it:

An editor i worked with said to me one time that i thought about comics more than anybody else he’d ever met. i said “don’t let it get around.”

Interview | Mike Mignola

On occasion, Kara and Matt sit down by the fireplace (metaphorical) with creators to talk about their books, their process, and what they read themselves. Since some folks don’t have time for podcasts, we also transcribe these chats. Some parts of the interview have been abridged for maximum hilarity. Enjoy our interview with HELLBOY’S Mike Mignola!

Matt: We have the biggest interview of all time, biggest guest of all time.

Kara: Ever.

Matt: You might know him from “Hellboy,” “Lord Henry Baltimore,” “Witchfinder.” Mr. Mike Mignola, welcome to the show.

Mike Mignola: Thank you.

Matt: This is probably the biggest moment for comiXology’s library in a long time. A lot of our fans and myself have been waiting for your books to hit the platform. I have to ask you, when you first started out doing Hellboy, and in the early days, did you think it would be this big and be so long-lasting when you started it?

Mike: No. I’ve always had such low expectations. When I started Hellboy, really, I didn’t think it would go beyond the four-issue mini-series. You hope it’s going to go, but it just seemed too good to be true, that I could actually get away with doing my own stuff. I’ve been doing stuff for Marvel and DC for 10 years, and I just assumed, “I’ll try this. If it works, great. If not, I was completely prepared to go back to DC and do whatever I could get.

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Made with SoundCloud
Draw me crazy

Merry Christmas to madsmurf93!

Clarke’s sketchbook is not really a sketchbook, it’s actually just a pile of scrap paper tied in a stack with an old bootlace, but she’s lucky to have it. It’s haphazard, like her life, and full of Bellamy Blake, which is also like her life, although that’s about the point where she likes to stop the parallels, usually.

It’s an aesthetic thing, Clarke tells herself, very firmly, sometimes out loud, when nobody else is around. It doesn’t mean anything, of course not, who wouldn’t understand it, standing in front of Bellamy Blake and watching his hands clench around a rifle’s grip, the skin of his forehead creasing into thick lines as he listens to her talk, eyeline always directed straight into hers, so serious, so grave. He’s an aesthetic sort of man, the sort of man they carve into statues, etch into tablets, paint onto the sides of pottery. Clarke can’t help it. It’s clearly his fault, for being so impressive. Not that she’s impressed. But objectively, she can see it.

An artist’s eye! Appreciation for the human form. Impersonal observation. That’s what it is. Clarke’s happy with that, most days, because it means she can keep drawing him and not think about it much. And that works, for awhile, until it doesn’t.

The thing is—wait, let’s rewind, the real thing is that she didn’t mean to do it, it’s just one day she was sitting cross-legged in the bunker with Bellamy’s jacket around her shoulders, because her hair was still wet from her possibly-toxic-rain bath, and his was the first one she’d seen, coming back inside. It smelled horrible, like all their clothes, but at that point Clarke was so inured to the fleshy, ripe smell of their life here on Earth that it didn’t even bother her, and she had some spare paper and a knobby pencil that she was supposed to be making a list of herbs they needed with, but instead she ended up drawing the back of Bellamy’s neck and shoulders, why? Because—because she just did. Because she was wearing his jacket, and he was sleeping across the room, next to Jasper and Miller, and she liked the way his arms looked in the dim light, and just—shut up about it, okay?

She got rid of that first one. But the second one was of his actual face, and it was one of her better results—she’s not so great with faces—so she kept it, and then the third was an absolute arduous thing she spent almost three hours on, because she was trying to draw the moment they’d met and she couldn’t quite remember the details, and he kept moving in his sleep so she couldn’t quite get his chin right. She conquered it in the end, and of course she kept it, because—three hours.

It is creepy, maybe, she does admit, though not out loud, especially the sleeping thing, but—they all sleep in the same room now, crowded together in this pathetic little camp, sharing tarps and worn-through trousers and blankets they’d managed to get away with. So it’s not as bad, or something. Whatever.

Then why don’t you show him? Wells would say. She often does this—imagines Wells speaking, giving her advice, in her head. She doesn’t talk about this out loud, either. If it’s not creepy and it doesn’t mean anything, why do you hide it?

Because, Wells. Just because.

Because what, Clarke, and this is where he’d tilt one eyebrow up, give her that look, that “stop sneaking books out of the Library, Clarke” look, that “I know you switched my boots out for a size small, Clarke” look, that “I love you but you’re full of shit” look. It’s ridiculous, really, even now that he’s dead, she still hasn’t managed to live that look down.

There are lots of things she might possibly say: I’m an artist. My work is private. It’s meditational. Everybody has secrets, at least this one is harmless. It makes me feel better. I like to look. He’s beautiful, isn’t he? I know you didn’t like him, but you would have, eventually. If you’d gotten the chance. I like him. I like him a lot, Wells, what do I do? What do I even do?

All possibilities, all of them true, but like she said, Clarke doesn’t usually go there. She’s happy with a lie, for now.

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//Okay woah, woah. First of all, sit down and get ready to read because it’s time to have a little art improvement talk. Mama Talon is on the case so here we go I’ll put this under a read more because who knows how long this is going to get, I can get a little carried away when talking about art and stuff.

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Hexagon Part 1 [The Fanfic AU Fanfic]

Full Title: Hexagon (Or How Chat Noir and Ladybug Became Fandom Famous)

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Swearing and mild sexual jokes

Author Notes: I got 3,000+ notes on my fanfic au (Click here) and a lot of people were saying they wanted a fic in the tags, and I figured I should give the people what they want! It’s going to be multi chapter, so stay tuned!

[Part 2] [Side Story]

If Adrien had to point fingers, he’d blame Alya for everything.

No really.

He had been content with just following the Ladyblog for updates on anything and everything Ladybug did, but then Alya went and reported on stuff within the fandom as well.

Heck, he didn’t even know there was a Chat Noir and Ladybug fandom!

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splattered - c.h. part 5

A/N: All time low was amazing yesterday, 10/10 would recommend seeing them live if u have the chance

Summary: You and Calum had been dating for about 11 months now. He was an artist, and you were just a college student, but together, you made it work. At least you thought you did, until you started to notice Calum’s sudden strange behavior around you, and everything went downhill.

Words: 916 


Calum froze for a second but then rested his head in the crook of your neck, chuckling. “What are you talking about babe?”

“Oh come on, don’t act stupid Cal.” You turn around, looking him dead in the eye, proud of your new found confidence.

His expression changes from a fake happy to a look of guilt as he looks down at his lap. “Who told you..” He growls, making your eyes widen in disbelief.

“That’s all you have to say? ‘Who told you’?” You put your head in your hands, not knowing what to say next. After a long moment of silence, you raise your head and bite your lip. “How long.” You manage to strain out.

He just shakes his head and looks away, seemingly too guilty to answer your question. “How long, Calum? You cry, holding your hand to your nose, trying not to burst into tears.

“A month.” He whispers, closing his eyes. 

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anonymous asked:

It has been proven that Milady666 steals art Hiro Mashima's and reworks it. After her shame she ran off with fandom. Relax.

…Proof? Look, she doesn’t draw GrayLu only, she draws so many pairings. This pairings extend to so many fandoms, she is a part of. In a way, you are saying that whatever she did for all those fandoms was meaningless. You say she ran away with shame, when she still hasn’t given up on drawing. She never said I am not drawing anymore, she just stopped. Maybe she isn’t inspired anymore? Maybe, she was hurt to see all that reposting? You aren’t going to consider that?

I, for once, can’t see how she steals art. Please tell me when did Mashima draw this pose?

No one carried Lucy this way. Did she get magically inspired or something?

Much stealing. Wow. Gendbend stealing. Is that a thing? Wowow

She stole emotions. Wow. How dare she drew it so well? HOW DARE SHE do it

Yeah like we see Gray smiling like that every chapter. Wow anon you are a genius. I am persuaded.

Ah I see. Fairy Tail is a borderine hentai manga and there are A LOT of scenes like these which inspire her. Mm totally an art thief.

Gray bites on girls’ ears every other chapter. And Lucy shows that expression to just about anyone. Not to mention that hairstyle was used in the current arc! Makes sense so much, anon.

I feel like Natsu and Lucy had this scene in the manga and she just replaced Natsu with Gray, I see (tho Gray got magically taller, lol such a magical thief. SHE CAN MAKE THEM TALL while stealing so ridiculous lol)

Like I don’t even know. She draw NaLi, Lyvia and Jerza as well. How can she draw them so much

Mashima himself praised her Jerza art. He did it. Why would he do it if he knew she was stealing his art? FYI artists can tell what is stolen and what’s not BETTER than people like you who raise a finger at someone who doesn’t even mean harm.

I am so… disappointed and sad. Like can’t you guys tell? The poses tell it all. It’s hard to draw such hard poses while she does an outstanding job at it. On top of it, she colors it all so so well.She draws it from the scratch. Yes, she is inspired by Mashima’s art, but she uses it as a reference. Everyone is inspired from the source, how do you expect people to draw without a reference? Like I said before, it’s a mixture of inspiration, talent, hardwork and passion. Her art just happens to be very, very versatile. She is blessed and she draws from her heart. She draws it all so well, and all for free. Then people like you come and ruin it all. I don’t even know which world you live in where it’s a sin for people to use reference. She must be hurt to see opinions like these…

 I don’t know which post you followed but from what I read, none of the posts offered a concrete proof (whatever it was, must be made by someone super-jeaous of her talent) I bet if she drew Na.Lu and Gru.via, people won’t draw a finger at her. That is 100 percent guaranteed. Hah, mainstream will always be mainstream in the end. All I asked was to stop stealing her art, but nah, it had to develop to this.

The worst is, you couldn’t even persuade me on how it allows other people to steal her art. Her art gets used as a base by many artists, but nah, that’s alright. Instead, you told me to deal with it because (according to you) she is a thief, that just proves how jealous you are of her. And It’s only when it’s GrayLu that haters like you start throwing a tantrum. Well, congratz to you. At least you tried, anon. Try harder next time (not that it will work)