i did it again sigh


That’s definitely not the first thing that should have come to mind, Kuroo

(tho it looks like no one really minds

aside from bokuto that is)


annyeong, annyeong.

sigh i caved and listened to oor’s new song and wow it’s so basic

i think the reason why most people who used to listen to them during the pre-35xxxv era have given up on their music since like. post mighty long fall is because they just don’t seem earnest anymore. 

in the sense that their music was once about fighting your way to your dreams, or finding meaning in life; they wrote songs that were about being true to yourself even if it wasn’t the norm, and about not giving up no matter the cost. there were songs about the awkward pains of growing up, about wanting to live in a way that was worth remembering (my favourite line from deeper deeper is still “i recommend you live a life somebody out there will remember”) there were songs about not letting your past get in the way of your present; songs about grief. and if they wrote love songs, it was a tender sort of love that nurtured and grew and accepted people despite their flaws.

their arrangements were always well thought through, with a good amount of time invested into making sure they had integrity, so the songs that they produced post jinsei x boku feel… slipshod in contrast to their existing portfolio, yknow? overprocessed, easy to push to the back of your mind while you listen to it, ineffectual words put to uninspired music, and kind of just… like that, i guess. you can’t pick out interesting riffs or leads from their music anymore, because there are barely any. the words and the sentiment in their songs are generic and overdone, there’s barely any vivid imagery, and there are no memorable messages or words. (wasn’t 35 produced in three days or something? in contrast to the amount of time they took on their earlier albums - can’t remember which interview i read with that info, it was years ago)

i guess you could say that their music, as a whole, is too easy to listen to now. it’s so easy to listen to that you can forget it instantly. and to me, oor was never meant to be easy, yknow? in the sense that they articulated our sentiments in a way that was punchy and affective, sometimes to the point where you’d have to sit down quietly for a while to think about how much their work resonated with you as someone who’s going through the same struggles, the same growing pains, the same anxieties about how to move forward. the act of listening to their music, in a way, became something like catharsis. and because they were earnestly working hard to keep improving, you felt like you could do it too (for me, at least).

copping out and writing generic lyrics about how ~you just gotta fight~ using generic images like ~war on a battlefield~ or how ~bedroom warfare~, shockingly enough, is about ~two lovers arguing~ ~enemies in the morning~ ~naked bodies~ is really…. no go. while i don’t think the confessional style of writing lyrics is a bad thing in itself, it gets stale really easily if you don’t pay attention to varying your images or your tone, which they haven’t really done since cry out. almost every single song they’ve produced post jinsei is about some kind of generic heartbreak or some kind of generic love or the like, with lazy production and arrangement, so it’s like? it’s been a good run but bye i guess, i’m not here for your basicity anymore.

[ more here ]


25.01.17 || 4/100 days of productivity

doing some of my geog homework & bio revision today. i have bio test tmrw which are testing like 16 chapters and im left with a lot of chapters to go omg help


anyway kinda upset today bc i failed my math test last time (which i studied rlly hard for) & today was the retest but i did really bad once again (aND I GOT TRICKED AGAIN BY THE QNS) sigh but i guess i’ll try harder next time !!

INFJ Games

INFJ: NO! Why did I die again?!

INTP: *Sigh* One second, I’ll revive you.


INFJ: Shut up…why do I keep dying?

INTP: Because you’re bad

INTJ: You suck

ENTP: Git Gud

ENTJ: You’re the worst at this.

INFJ:….I know that’s true, but….you couldn’t have sugar coated it?

INTP: Nooooope.

Barba Theories Part 5

(Part 4 here, Part 3 + previous links here)

As always, (my thoughts) on your thoughts.

(last post for now since we won’t even see Barba again for like another month and a quick-ish one at that, because i’m a little sick today, boooo)

New Theories - Personal

Going through my inbox (which is overflowing, thanks and also sorry it takes me forever sometimes <333) I found this lil’ nugget which was probably sent by a sweet anon weeks ago, lol:

The hacking reveals something with his health - I’d bet on psychiatric, maaaybe rehab of some kind.

Whoa. That’s something I hadn’t considered!

It certainly makes sense, and if it involves rehab (which would potentially mean he was impaired while trying some cases) it would definitely put his career in jeopardy! Plus it’s consistend with Barba’s previous characterization. Not that he’s ever shown to be an alcoholic, of course, but all those shots of him downing whiskey/bourbon while stressed could be re-interpreted as suggestions he may have had an issue with drinking in the past, or that he has a habit of turning to alcohol when he’s stressed (say, after the death threats?.

I’m not sure I trust the SVU writers to handle mental illness well, so that option would be trickier to pull off, but still. This is a very intersting idea, and a deeply personal secret, and something Barba might possibly want to keep private, even from Liv.

@leaper182 (also probably a few weeks ago, lol <3) said:

I wonder if maybe Rafael had an affair with a politician who’s married or something. I can’t see Rafael himself being in the closet – he comes across more as someone who doesn’t advertise that he’s bisexual, but he wouldn’t deny it if he were asked point-blank about it either. But maybe if he made the mistake of having an affair with a married man or something, and it’s this big ~shocker~ because this guy was all about straight marriage or something…? Hmmm. :\        

Ooh. An affair with a married male politician, maybe even a conservative one, who might have more to lose than Barba? Now that’s a good theory. If the secret involves Barba being bi or gay, this would be a good way to do it. It wouldn’t give us personal angst for Barba; it would show us a middle-aged successful professional like him, being comfortable in his own skin. At the same time, though, it would show us that for some people, being in the closet might be seen as almost imperative. A message could still be sent, without getting too preachy.

New Theories - Professional

Another anon said:

Barba secret theory. He cheated on a big test. Something like the bar or the sat. Something that makes his education nullified even if he is really smart anyways.

Ooh, that would be a non-salacious but literally career-threatening secret. It’s pretty much what happened to my boo Cutter on the Mothership, but SVU has been recycling storylines for ages, so why not that one, too? It was a good one, lol.

Yet another anon said:

my pet barba theory (without giving away how much i’ve clearly thought about this…) is that it has to do with  his time as a brooklyn ADA. he requested a “lateral move” from brooklyn which we learn in his first episode, Twenty-Five Acts.  i guess it’s a bit hopeful to expect the writers to go hard with continuity. but i think something happened to him back then that he’s been hiding.

That’s a great theory, actually. Whatever the actual secret is, it’s likely to involve Barba’s career prior to his joining Manhattan SVU. Lateral moves are definitely suspicious, if Barba wasn’t moving up, why did he want to leave? I agree that contonuity is always an issue with SVU, but this idea would be really easy to work into the episode, with just a throwaway reference. Plus it would explain why Liv doesn’t now, and maybe even why Barba won’t tell her, because it would involve Brooklyn detectives/precincts and Liv would have no jurisdiction. Barba wouldn’t want Liv to step out of line for his sake.

Death Threats? What Death Theats?

An anon said:

I think the Barba secret will have something to do with the death threats because remember what Heredio said – “we know things about you, things you wouldn’t want people to know” No idea what the things might be (love the idea of a juvie record and maybe something to do with his dad) but I hope he doesn’t fuck up too bad. And I ship Barson hardcore so I’m sad he doesn’t go to Liv :( 

Ooh, another great callback! I would love it, just for continuity purposes, if the writers were inspired by that line to create a secret for Barba. Heredio’s line sounded like it involved something personal, so let’s see what happens now. Also, I’m with you, I can’t see why Barba wouldn’t just go to Liv. Whatever his secret is, and however we all see Barson (platonic or with the potential for romance), they’re friends. She trusted him with Noah’s paternity, which was huge for her, and deeply personal, and I think Barba should also trust her with this. But, honestly, Barba can be more of a hothead, more impulsive, so perhaps it makes sense that he’d do something more drastic.

Speaking of Liv, another anon said:

I’m not feeling anything about Barbara secret because I know it’s just going to get all twisted around to be all about liv because I love her but jfc the whole season has been about her and no other fucker has had a storyline or even a story word

Hehehehe well, even if Barba doesn’t tell Liv immediately, I’m sure she’ll find out eventually, and it’ll be all about her in the end :) I just hope the writers try to show us that she’s a great friend, so maybe Barba can have part of the spotlight, while still propping her up. Like, it can still be All About Liv, but if Liv is determined to help her friend, Barba gets to shine, too, you know?

Barba’s Aspirations

An anon said:

I hope Barba’s secret is some kind of a political scandal where you can clearly see his ambition to become the next DA. But I am afraid that we all get excited only to be disappointed. And in the end it will be a cheap shot like a secret affair with the wife of someone with political influence. Or it is coming out of nowhere (Hello Hank Abraham) and Barba is framed for possession of child pornography. 

Absolutely agreed. It really chaps my ass how we never see anything about Barba’s ambitions, or his goals. Will he be an ADA forever? Why don’t they make him an EADA like Cutter? Who is the DA? Why not cast someone in that role? Or (if it’s still Jack McCoy <3) why not cast an EADA to be Barba’s sort-of boss, put some pressure on him and show us what Barba is going through at the office?

Lastly, I truly hope it won’t be anything remotely similar to the Abraham case. I don’t think it will be. They wouldn’t do that to Barba. I’m sure of that.

Hi, tumblr. I have a question for you.
What the fuck?
And again… WHAT THE FUCK?!
*sigh* I did not want to get involved in this, and I’ll probably regret writing this post, but I am too frustrated.
Wanna hear an opinion OF AN ACTUAL FUCKING TEENAGER about otayuri?
I think you’re all fucking annoying.
And also don’t remember AT ALL how teenagers work. I’m 16, and at least half of my classmates (including myself) already dating/dated before. And I am pretty sure that some of them (again, it includes myself) dated people a few years older. This is COMPLETELY NORMAL. A lot of people do that! And, for fuck’s sake, Otabek is 18, not 28 or something! Just like with Yurio, his entire life was skating, he didn’t have any normal friends, he basically had no life. When do you think he’d become so very mature that it would be inappropriate for him to date a guy 3 YEARS younger? Not to mention that no reasonable person expects them to start dating RIGHT NOW, they barely know each other!

Also, fuck you for giving me anxiety OVER FUCKING SHIPPING.
I hope you’re proud of yourself. Bringing 16 years old girl to an edge of breakdown is surely a great accomplishment, considering how much you care about teenagers.

  • Padmé: *calls Anakin* Ani, care to explain this?
  • Anakin: ... what? You didn't like my letter? Did I misspelled it again. *sigh*
  • Padmé: *confused* well, "Suck it up, I'll do it when I damn well please. OKAY!" isn't what I usually expect when you send me some letters.
  • Anakin: WHAT! Hey, this was supposed to go to Windu!!!
  • Padmé: Well, that explains it. Ani you really should-!
  • Anakin: Oh my force!!!!
  • Padmé: What?
  • Anakin: I think I'm so screwed, Padmé!
  • Padmé: Wait, you don't think that he got...
  • Anakin: *nods miserably*
  • Padmé: Oh, no!!
  • -somewhere else-
  • Mace: .... *just finished reading the most sappiest love letter ever*
  • Yoda: Look too green today you do, Mace! Why?

CS AU (Merlin Crossover): In which Sir Gwaine and Princess Emma do attend Misthaven’s lastest ball together, her bodyguard does get jealous enough to do something about his poorly hidden feelings for her, and Merlin should know better than to bet against Gwaine.

–Now if you really want to get his goat, Milady, you could lean in for a little–
–Nice try, Gwaine.
–Can’t blame a man for trying, Princess.

[Part One] [Further Reading]

OK, OK, I think I’ve figured out why this storyline and the way it’s being handled, despite it being as close as it’s ever going to get to the “ethical issues debate” I want it to be, is still bothering me. And yes, as I’ve been trying to articulate, it has to do with the writers always prioritizing Fitz in FS storylines. (That really annoys me, OK?)

But here’s why it’s especially annoying this time. From the very beginning of the show, Jemma has been portrayed as the more scientifically ambitious, socially unaware member of their little duo and Fitz as the one who reins her in or grounds her or however you want to look at it (“Maybe don’t get so excited about it.”). And as the show has gone on, that aspect of her personality has been used both in-universe and by viewers as a means of or reason for very harsh criticism against her (misconceptions/criticisms about why she left Fitz in his time of need, the fact that Hydra would buy into her “my loyalties are with science” claim, the stuff with Inhumans especially after Trip died, and arguably even some of the Will/Hive/Maveth stuff. Heck, even the “punishment” of nearly dying after getting too excited about the alien virus and her subsequent fears and parental concerns fall into this pattern.).

But now - now that the storyline about the dangers of the pursuit of science is playing a major driving force in the show, now that the scientist making mistakes and facing the consequences of them needs the viewers’ empathy - this element that has long been a Simmons characterization has been given to Fitz. And we don’t, at the very least, even get to see Simmons making connections or drawing on her own experiences to help deal with it whenever she gives another of her little pep talks.

N.E.L.A. (Never Ever Lovve Again)
  • N.E.L.A. (Never Ever Lovve Again)
  • JohnyyP.
  • JohnyyLovve Must Die

In 2011, I caught feelings for my bestfriend and asked her to be my girlfriend.. (Just like in the movies)

By the date of our one year anniversary in 2012, I realized I was madly and foolishly in lovve.. (Just like in the movies)

After that, we broke up and got back together so many times like it was nothing, and it wasn’t healthy for neither one of us love-stricken 18 year olds..

First week of 2013, we got into a childish slug-match on twitter in which we called each other out on all the mistakes we had made in our relationship, as the whole of fort bend and Alief jeered at our public collapse. We began to drift away from the lovve I got used to in the previous two years and for the first time the idea of us breaking up and staying away from each other surfaced. I couldn’t imagine moving on without her so I did everything in my power to sell her the idea that we were perfect for each other.. I let her take advantage of me that year because I thought it would all be worth it in the end.. I was catastrophically incorrect tho, the more I went out of my way to make her smile, the more she neglected and abused my care.. This tore me apart inside, but I just could not give up, not after two years of commitment.. 

We tried the “just be friends” strategy but that proved ineffective time after time, because of how close and intimate or relationship actually was..Honestly, I never stopped seeing her as my bestfriend, however, I could not put myself through the pain of being let down anymore.. (Just like in the movies)

In 2014, I transferred schools as I set out to truly move forward and “Leave that girl alone” as my close friends urged me to do.. Unfortunately, she was still the number I dialed on numerous nights that I felt alone, and didn’t want to be bothered by thotties.. We would always talk about anything and everything, or nothing at all, as I recall many times just saying hello and falling asleep on the phone.. I really don’t know if I needed her more than she needed me or if it was the other way around but slowly and steadily we communicated less and less until it came to a complete halt..

It was always hard seeing her in public with other dudes, which happened way too often.. It was hard seeing a tweet of hers that entailed her dying need of a man to cuddle with, retweeted onto my TL late at night.. I slowly grew disgusted by the woman that I once was willing to give my life for.. In the summer of 2014 I wrote this song called Never Ever Lovve Again.. I had no intentions of ever recording or letting anyone hear this record, I just wanted to let it all out in the most effective and healthiest way I knew how.. (just like the movies lol)

Here it is tho, NELA..  Im only able to write all this and let the world even hear it because I finally moved on from the toxic disease of feelings I had for her.. 

This is not a diss song & this is not a lovve song.. THIS song and all the others that my little sister and I wrote for this project was the cure to my madness, and I thank God for blessing me with the talent to release my joy, as well as my frustration, in a beautiful way.. 

Birthright- Dorianmace Week Day 4

Words 350. Context: Jim and Dorian’s arrival to Skyhold after Jim “"persuaded” the merchant to give Dorian’s amulet back on the spot.

“Here it is.” Jim said handing Dorian the small amulet. He took it, but his solemn expression didn’t change. Instead he shook his head and sighed.

“Now I am indebted to you. I told you I didn’t want it this way.”

“I didn’t do this so you’b be indebted to me, Dorian. I did it because I like you.”

He sighed again. “That’s the problem.”

“How is it a problem?” Jim asked.

“Someone intelligent would cozy up to the inquisitor. It would be foolish not to. He can open doors, get you anything you want, shower you with gifts and power. That’s what they say. I’m the Magister who is using you.”

Jim furrowed his brow. Interesting that he cared about such rumours, but slightly annoyed that Dorian thought he would care about them. “But that’s not who you are, Dorian. Let them say whatever they want, or better yet go ahead and use me. I’m sure you’d make better use of me than most.”

Jim smiled at that last comment. As did Dorian, it made the tension air again. “Oh, You are glorious.” Dorian laughed. “I’m surprised the merchant wasn’t aware of your disinheritance. Imagine the look on his face if he finds out.”

Jim laughed. Then looked to Dorian, the amulet in his hand. “So, we’re good?”

“We are good.” Dorian smiled and put on the amulet. “I… am apparently an incredible ass at accepting gifts. I apologize, and thank you.”

Then Dorian stepped forward taking hold of Jim’s hands. His hands then wandered up the warrior’s strong arms to his square shoulders. Their lips collided. Soft, warm, passionate. Dorian’s hand on Jim’s cheek, their bodies pressed together. Jim’s hand reached down to give Dorian’s perfect ass a gentle squeeze. The moment a real pleasure for both of them. It was a shame when Solas cleared his throat, loud and intentional, from below reminding the two that they were still in public.

“Just as well,” Dorian said his cheeks rosey. “I won’t forget this. I will repay you, count on it.” He said with a mischievous smile before he left.