i did bad i know but i tried ok

  • ugh bih
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my friend wanted to hear this and a few anons did too i think, so here is me n my bad japanese i’m sorry

++ sorry about the weird moan near the end like i was just sighing i sWEAR but it sounds fucking moan-ish and i was just tired ok fuck,, also i fucking stuttered like 389458 times cos i get so nervous when i record myself and FUCK SBKJDH HATE MYSRLF, anyways below the cut r the pages of the book i read,

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2

“You know Aristotle? ‘He who is to be a good ruler must first have been ruled.’”
I ignored him.
“So that’s a no? By ‘everything’ you really just mean twisted love stories.“
I gritted my teeth. “Yes, I’ve read some Aristotle. I can see that you’ve read philosophy to give yourself an excuse for pretentious name-dropping.”
“Works better on girls than you might think,” he said with a wink.
“Ugh.” I rested my forehead on the window.
“And I don’t only read philosophy.” He nudged my hip with his boot. “I enjoyed Lolita for the lollipops.”

@armsintheair Have you ever tried subbing tofu for eggs? I did once and it was merely OK. I agree with you totally, it’s so ethically wrong and I spend a lot of my time in keto focusing on not thinking about it, which is so wrong and 90% of why I want to make the switch this summer. Having chickens would be the best. I had chickens when I lived in Thailand and they were actually really aggressive and it was mostly a bad experience, haha!

And it’s true! I know how bad it is to restrict too hard, but I get all skin-crawly when I read false info being spouted as advice and then followed. I guess that’s what you get in an open forum like this. Takes all kinds!

anonymous asked:

I can't believe I'm admitting this but I actually had a dream with Ashroad in it, he was trying to assassinate me but he was doing a very bad job of it. He was trying to choke me with a belt and all he was doing was getting it wrapped around his hands. I don't know what I did to earn the displeasure of Imperial Intelligence but please, Ashroad, brush up on your strangulation techniques, you're embarrassing yourself

lmao
thank you for sharing anon

voco

I am a bit magic!cock-sexied out and very short of time, so I just rustled up a flash-fiction for ashermajestywishes sexy swanqueen saturday:


“I think I should give it a name.”

Regina took a few seconds to absorb Emma’s words. Post-orgasmic bliss was still upon her.

“A name?”

“Yeah.”

“Give what a name?”

“My magic cock.”

Regina cracked open one eye. Her brow furrowed.

“Why?”

“I dunno. Because it deserves one. Because we’d be able to mention it in public. In passing.”

“In passing?”

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m sure I don’t.”

“Like, ‘Will Frank be making an appearance tonight?’" Emma tried to mimic Regina’s deep, clipped tones - not very well, in Regina’s opinion.

“Frank?”

“Ok, bad example.”

“Where the hell did ‘Frank’ come from?”

“I said it was a bad example. Jesus Christ.”

“What? No! That would not be appropriate at all.”

“Huh?”

“Just because you’re the Saviour, Emma, does not mean you get to appropriate the spiritual icons of this world.”

“I didn’t mean-“

“It’s a cock, Emma. A lovely one, but it doesn’t need a christening. Now shut up and tell your nameless miracle to fuck me again. Hard.”