Wherever you go on earth you will find “local cuisine.” Local cuisine is often made up of local food, things that are grown or produced only in specific areas, and at the most minute level there is home cooking, recipes and specific alterations to common recipes that only exist in your family. This is the core idea of my next story. (My first story is about fetishes that i brought over from my other blog)
One day the Human crew decided to make special dishes for the rest of the crew. This idea scared most of the ship. What was acceptable Death Planet meals? Many assumed it would be bloody and gruesome, which for some of this dishes was the start, or poisonous, which the humans made sure to check food restrictions for their crew mates. Some of the humans brought on livestock, killed and cooked it in front of the crew. They claimed that the “fresher the meat is, the better it tastes.” Others brought pre-cut meats with leafy things. Some brought on weird squares that jiggled but retained their shape when it didn’t seem like it should to be able to. Lots of liquids, powder things, fruits, and leafs were brought and shared by most. Lastly, One human named Ernest, brought on a few cans. He did not labor over the flames, smoking oils, hot ovens, or boiling waters. Ernest just watched others work while he sat there with his cans.
The first was a human to make her dish was named Sophia from a country known as I-tall-ee. She made Pee-za. All the other humans seemed very excited by this, most agreed Pee-za was their favorite food. Though the crew learned rather quickly that it was very hard to decide on the makings of a Pee-za or where on the Death Planet it came from. Some argued the Pee-za from Nu Yurk was better, other said Boss-tan and Sophia said the Amerikans didn’t know what real Pee-za was. The only thing most of the humans could agree on was that it was a crime to put pineapple on Pee-za. A few of the bravest crew tried the Pee-za and enjoyed the finished item. Others of the crew were afraid to try it due to the humans arguing and joking about fighting if they liked one pee-za more than another.
After Sophia was Otgonbayar or Bay as most called them. He was from Mongo-lia. They brought mutt-on, which was butchared while the Pee-zas were made. Bay cooked chunks of meat with many liquids and spicys on a flat cooking plate. The crew was worried about the plate being so hot but were reassured that a cooking plate and an eating plate were different and they would not be getting food off the searing cooking plate. The humans all complemented Bay on the smells of the food which did seem rather good. Most of the crew was happy to sample the mutt-on.
The next Human was Suki from Ja-Pan. She prepared several meals. First was a hot liquid called Me-so soop. Many were confused that the Toe-fool in the soop did not contain the Toes of a fool, but found the soop to be tasty despite the confusing name. What bewildered most of the crew is when she made Fry Rise. It was a combination of so many things; small narrow rise grains, egs, ste-ak, vegtables, and lots of seasonings. Many of the crew enjoyed it but could not understand why anyone would traditionally eat such small food with 2 sticks.
Now came one named Robert from Arc-en-saw. He made a meal that made others wince in pain at it. It was a Cheez Borg Er wrap in Bake On. The crew who enjoyed meat loved it dearly. The other Humans warned against eating too many due to Heart attacks. That did not worry the Foorgorian crew members as they had 3 hearts.
Next came Mary from Me-he-co. She made a meal called Talko’s. Some of the crew theorized these Talko’s is what made Mary talk so much. It was served in a few ways she explained depending where in Me-he-co you live. Some cook the Shell, some leave it soft. Some roll the meats and sauces in the soft shell while others piled it on the hard shell. She had one sauce called Picko-D-Guy-o. She warned some people it was full of spices that make some men on earth cry. This scared away most of the other crew but the Bilnafs ate the sauce and literally breathed fire. They were checked into medical bay shortly after and was later cleared as ok and healthy to eat. The gooakomolaye was much better for most of the crew to eat.
Next to last came a man from Aus-tray-lee-ah named by the other humans as Auzzy. He made a Sand-Mitch, with a jelly called Vegi-might. Many of the crew were hopeful at the nutritional value of the meal as it sounded like a vitamin and that is where humans gained their strength. That was until the other humans did not wish to eat it. A few of the crew would taste it and many did not like the taste. This did not offend Auzzy, “More for Me,” he said.
Last came Earnest from a place called North-way. He held one of the cans up and a few of the other humans began to cover there face or leave the room even though the can was still closed. He explained this was a can of Pick-old Hearings, a small aquatic creature that has been preserved for months during the frozen time of year. The Crew looked on with half horror, half curiosity, as he opened the can. Some of the other humans began to gag at the simple smell of this food. It was later explained by the other humans that the Hearings are caught and put in the can with minerals that allow the creature to undergo a type of fermentation that basically is on the edge of decay and rot. It is checked by the local government agency to make sure that it is safe for human consumption, assuming that you wanted to consume it. Most of the crew was confused by this dish the most out of all the foods. Why did the other humans run out of all the foods that were presented this was the crews favorite.
For once it was the humans who were confused and a little scared as the rest of the crew hungrily attacked the remaining cans of Pick-old Hearings