remember when kaz brekker told inej ghafa he refused to be the one to mark her body after everything she had been through?? because i sure do. the tattoo was mandatory for everyone in the dregs except her bc self-proclaimed monster kaz brekker had the decency to respect her past trauma & he didnt want her to feel like anyone owned her. and the first thing he did after purchasing her indenture was get her proper clothes?? and a knife??? lbr when will your fave ever
i don’t know how else to put this. today james was found passed away in his home. i have spoken to his family and they don’t know what happened. an autopsy will be started tomorrow but they might not know anything for up to two months.
i don’t know what else to possibly say. i’m sure many of you knew how amazing of a person james was. he struggled, but he always remained strong and did his best to keep others happy and smiling. he really appreciated all of you for the things you did for him; helping donate water or help paying for his bills to keep his home. he wouldn’t have been around on this website so long if it weren’t for all of you.
if you’d like to extend any messages to his family to express your sympathies or share any stories, please message him here and i’ll do my best to pass them on.
thank you all so much
and to james, i really love you. i’ll really miss you. rest in peace.
I need help from one closeted transfeminine and one closeted transmasculine person who have the money to buy gender-affirming stuff but are afraid of having it shipped to their house.
I want to start a program called Binder Buddies where I can ship younger trans folks gender-affirming products in ways that prevent nosy parents from finding out.
The idea is:
- They would be able to pay me for it via money order (which doesn’t require a credit card), and I can buy whatever they need for them using my card. I’m not going to ask for any money beyond the cost of the items. (Sorry, but I’m broke and can’t pay for stuff for you)
-Shipping will be discreet and obnoxiously difficult to open.
-I can ship it to a local post office rather than their house.
-I can put the items under a false bottom in a cardboard box, then fill the top with something innocuous.
Since GC2B is having a giveaway, now seemed like a good time to test out specifically the false bottom. This means I need two people to ship things to, one transfeminine and one transmasculine. Since there’s no guarantee it will work, I’ll cover $10 of whatever each person wants, and I ask that you consider your situation carefully and exactly what would happen if your parents did find a binder/makeup/etc.
If you’re interested, please message me. If I get more than I can handle, I’ll be picking based on who needs it the most.
If you’re interested in helping run the program itself, feel free to message me as well.
When you’re an INFP, your biggest insecurity is that you have nothing to say.
You perceive most people as insightful, intelligent and interesting, while you are a dullard who can’t even string three words together. It’s not just that you’re shy — you feel like there’s something mentally WRONG with you.
I felt this way for decades, but I got over it by thinking about it this way. The reason everyone else’s stories are so fascinating is because YOU are the one processing them. YOU are connecting dots in your brain that make what you hear much more “involving” than the same story processed through a non-infp mind. In other words, you’re too imaginative for your own good.
Conversely, you have incredibly high standards for what constitutes a worthy conversation and what doesn’t. Comments about yourself, for example, seem egotistical and pointless. How you day is going? Who cares!!
So you LIMIT your options SEVERELY when communicating with another person, and tend to choose the words that end the conversation because you don’t want people to find out you’re an imposter.
Yeah, that’s the main thought that goes through your head, right? You’re stupid and incapable (handicapped, maybe?) and nobody has found out yet. But oddly enough, nobody seems to notice. Nobody has EVER told you that you are dumb. Weird, isn’t it?
That’s because you’re not dumb. You simply have impossibly high standards. You’re an INFP, remember.
Like I said, I struggled with this for decades. I was an “imposter” for decades, yet I STILL manage to be “successful,” despite judging myself as a “fraud” all those years ago.
That’s because I’m NOT a fraud, and neither are you. Once I realized this, I also realized that I DID have useful things to say. This post, hopefully, is one of them.
So don’t harsh on yourself, and please let me know if this helps. You see, I still appreciate verification that I’m not a fraud, even when I know it’s not true.
Listen, when I say that I like the Erik, I’m not saying I approve of everything he did, I’m saying I appreciate the complexity and intricacy that was put into his character. He was not only the protagonist, but also the antagonist of the story, therefore he’s GOING to do bad things. It’s perfectly fine for me to like a ‘bad’ character without having to explain it. Torment has an affect on people and it did on Erik, too. Please stop shaming people who appreciate his character.
hi! this is just a short question but in idol party when they're looking at the aegyo order and yoongi's saying jimin's moved higher in aegyo is jungkook saying "지민형 장난이 아니야"? My Korean's really,,,bad so I don't know if that's right but if he did, doesn't that mean "He's no joke," as in his cuteness/aegyo is no joke??? If it does then,,,,my heart TT how can a maknae always call his hyung cute TTTTT
No, your Korean is great and you’ve got a good ear! That’s pretty much what he said (지민이 형 [애교가] 장난이 아니에요!), but it was mumbled and buried in the background. So yes, Jungkook did say that Jimin’s aegyo is no joke.
I mean, I’m not really surprised anymore. Despite Tae and Hobi having the most overall aegyo within the group, JK has always maintained throughout the years that he believed Jimin was the cutest.
^ Who do you think is the cutest member? - Jimin
^ What kind of existence is Jimin to you? / Who is Jimin to you? - Kawai(i)
And more recently, he’s called Jimin his jjokkomi and honey - all terribly sweet and cute things. It’s honestly pretty gross.
Keep in mind that Jimin has been vehemently against doing aegyo for a long time, and he’s only just slowly opened up to the fact that he’s just…you know, naturally cute. Something that Jungkook obviously noticed and appreciated long before Jimin himself did.
As for how or why a maknae could think of his hyung this way? Well…
Hi! About the song Jensen played at the end of the second J2 panel that made Jared so emotional, some people say on the youtube comments that it could be the intro to Sweet Home Alabama. I'm not sure, I don't recognize it but it's maybe a version I don't know. What do you think?
Hi. I think Jensen was playing intro to sweet home Alabama to Jared…
In response to this ask. Sorry, for taking more time then necessary to answer. Ok, so I think you are right. Just listen to Jensen and an original acoustic version. Sure seems pretty similar to me.
I wonder if Jared saw Jensen “Sweet Home Alabama” performance from Jib6 in 2015. In my headcanon he did see it, and I don’t know if it was important to them earlier or it became after that, but Jared’s face when he realizes what Jensen’s playing it, is well, take a look yourself:
[Can I just take a second to appreciate the way Jared looks right here. *ARMS* *SINGLE LAYER* *HAIR IN HIS FACE* *TOO MUCH SEXY CUTENESS*]
Cute little smile, biting his lower lip, dimples on display (am I seeing things or did his dimples actually deepened there at one point), his whole demeanor right then was so shy. *sigh*
And then look at Jensen:
Look at this fucker. He’s so pleased with himself (he should be, tbh), and that little satisfied smile right at the end. Yeah, make no mistake, that song must be important to them.
I liked this song just fine, and then JIB6 happened and it gave me a new meaning and I’m sure you have some songs with the great meaning to you, so you know how it is. I’ll listen to it now even more fondly then after JIB6.
You know, I think Jensen likes Lynyrd Skynyrd (”well, DUH”, said the voices in my head), he sang “Sweet Home Alabama” to Jared when Jared wasn’t there, and he played it now, and he sang “Simple Man” to Jared at the concert at Orion yesterday (c’mon, his eyes were on Jared every couple seconds, of course he sang it to him).
Tbh, Jensen serenading Jared is one of my favorites. 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍 😍
To the next girl he gives his heart to-
Feed him. He’s like a 5 year old child, whenever he is hungry he gets moody don’t take it personally, it’s just him.
If you are ever laying in bed at 11pm and find yourself wrapped in his arms scared because you see a huge ass spider, don’t count on him to protect you, he hates spiders just as much.
It’s hard to find a food that he dislikes, he will pretty much eat anything except olives, but you’re always safe with a steak or some other meaty meat.
He’s a sucker for g strings, if he comes home in a bad mood, show him your underwear and he will calm down.
His friends are the most important things to him, don’t get to jealous about it, I made that mistake and at the end of the day be happy he has others to count on, it doesn’t mean he doesn’t enjoy your company.
Cars are his absolute favourite thing, to him they are his happy place. If it’s fast, lowered and loud chances are he’s going to love it.
He loves a good back rub and hair rub. Calms him down and he’ll love you for it.
He plays these damn right annoying car games, he becomes so obsessed with them that getting his attention is impossible, don’t stress just go do your own thing until he gets bored.
Sometimes he talks way too much but just nod and smile, don’t shut him down.
Give him loads of kisses, neck kisses especially, cuddle him as much as you can, appreciate every minute you get with him, he’s one of a kind.
I hope you learn from my mistakes and take on board everything I have said so you can actually love him right.
He deserves an amazing girl so I hope you love him better than I did, and please I know I’m the last person you want advice from but please love him right, care for him, cherish him, he’s one of a kind and you’re lucky to be in his life.
Warnings: Smut, fighting, smut, rough smut, Sub!Dean, Dom!Dean (sorta), Dom!Reader, Sub!Reader, gambling, smut, use of sex toy, smut, oh…did I mention smut?
Word Count: 3819
A/N: This was written for @avasmommy224 birthday smut challenge. My prompt is in bold and please forgive me for this lol I had an idea so out of my comfort zone and ran with it. Please leave feedback! it is welcome and appreciated
There will be a part 2 later today!!!! Maybe even a part 3 in the future!
You love your job, plain and simple. You were probably one of the few people who had the pleasure of saying that but it was true. Sometimes things got a little heated but you were more than equipped to handle just about any situation tossed your way. You had just dealt the halfway mark of the current blackjack game at the casino you worked at. It was a table full of testosterone to say the least. One guy is burly with tattoo sleeves down both arms, definitely someone to steer clear of in any kind of hostile situation, the next is a bit smaller than him and drop-dead gorgeous. He’s slightly built and has the most stunning green eyes you have ever seen and every now and then you catch those eyes travelling up and down your physique; what’s visible due to the waist high blackjack table that is. You catch yourself having to fight a smile back every now and then whenever he looks up at you and sends you a flirty wink or two. Casino rules and expectations can be very tricky and the wrong hand gesture or facial expression can throw up red flags, cheating was severely frowned upon and anyone was a suspect.
Title: Cliché. Pairing: Prince Adam x Reader. Words: 1,672. Rating: T (Blood, gore, guns, death). Summary: What if you took the bullet from Gaston that was meant to kill a ‘Beast’?
There were a few things that you were aware of in the moment that you found yourself in.
Firstly, Prince Adam was not a Beast, and even after years of being seen as one by himself and by those around him, he had finally realized that the only Beast was the one he was convinced he was. He was twisted into one and manipulated into that life because his father was determined to raise him without a drop of love in his heart after his mother died. You had changed that. You radiated pureness in the form that made Prince Adam stop in his tracks in wonderment. Have you really taught him that he wasn’t what he was cursed with? Have you truly taught him that there were slivers of love and adoration, those left deep inside after his mother passed? The inventible answer seemed to be an alarming yes.
He made his feelings clearly known as Adam snarled at Gaston a few moments prior to now, “I am not a Beast.” The sentence ended with Adam looking at you, as if reassuring that he wasn’t and that he wasn’t going to let himself fall back into the abyss.
No one reads this but I’ll say my spiel anyway. The entire reason I bought a fucking PS Vita and bought freaking Vandead Carnival was so that I could do this. Because it isn’t anywhere. And tbh going through Reiji’s things just pisses me off all the more because yeah he’s a dick but all the guys are and deep down he’s so fucking genuine?? So please, appreciate Reiji-sama. Translation was done by me and my questions were answered by boyfriend-sama so everyone give him thanks or else I’d still be pulling my hair out XD So yeah. Enjoy~
*Do not use without explicit permission*
Oh, did you wake up? Ah…were you planning to sleep?
That’s perfect. Well then, how about sleeping?
Even if you say that, you’re not in bed.
You don’t understand? It should be different from usual.
*sighs*…it doesn’t make sense to try and explain things to a dull woman like you.
Oh, I see. The luxurious one is different.
The way this feels…you can understand just by touching it. You, however…
That’s right. Isn’t it different from yesterday?
I had it measured while you were at school.
The bed is an antique so I left it as is, I only changed the sheets.
Because it was ordered from a well respected shop in Western Europe…I came to hear opinion.
Despite that, I’m amazed that I did not get the answer that I wanted to hear the most.
You still don’t seem to know the difference. It seems it’s best to leave your bed as is.
Good grief… it’s problematic for you to be at the same level as my brothers…
Hah? What are you talking about?
Isn’t it obvious that only the bed sheets and pillow case were changed?
The triplets are sleeping so they wouldn’t mind.
It is doubtful that Subaru would be sleeping in a bed.
I don’t need to explain that, do I?
Anyway, you are the only one who would use it.
That is why, I came to hear your opinion…
I tried sleeping by myself to make sure there is nothing wrong with it.
The sheets on this bed are mine. And of course, you are too.
Even saying that, I can’t find a reason to blame you for wanting to sleep beside me.
You know, don’t you? As long as you know that’s fine.
Even so, it’s the truth. That this has a nice and soft touch.
The firmness of the mattress is just right for me. How does it feel for you?
That’s a rather simple answer. If you could give me something more concrete, I’d like to hear it.
For example, to what degree is your body sinking into the mattress?
If you said that you are not sleeping because you are next to me, that is an invalid argument.
Because like this it won’t be long before you’re sleeping next to me.
Please think for yourself what that means.
How is it? This feeling of our bodies against each other…don’t you think it’s wonderful?
The feeling of the elasticity pushing back on your body. It’s the perfect balance.
You don’t know? *he sighs*…How troublesome.
Why did I even change yours…you understand at least that much, don’t you?
I do not need thanks. *sighs* Explaining it to a disappointing person like you would be as painful as breaking a bone.
You must understand your position.
You’re food, aren’t you? (He says this super teasingly though not very condescending like)
That’s why, you have to sleep well and stay healthy.
I have a duty to keep you in top physical condition with a good environment.
Kuku. I’m not worried about your body.
Would you let me suck blood from an unhealthy body?
The state of your blood, of course, is important, but so is your skin.
If your scars don’t heal quickly, then it will be a burden on your body.
It may eventually lead to discomfort of the whole body.
You yourself know best don’t you?
Well, that’s that. But there are things to that which make it convenient.
If my bite remains on your skin forever…
That would be a mark of my posession.
Even if you accidentally got caught by another man with your clothes all ripped…
If there were a lot of bite marks on your skin left by me, it will show that I own you, no?
Yes, in fact, if someone tries to ignore the number of perfectly beautiful bites that I have given you…
If such a reckless man exists, I will eliminate him before he reaches you.
Kuku…then? No matter what sort of hand touches you, I will erase it.
However, it seems that you like and are prone to falling into traps. So please, be careful.
Being sleep deprived and spaced out is not an excuse.
In that case, please try and have a proper sleep.
That said…what is with your sleeping posture?
With that sort of cheap pajama material, no matter how much you change the bedding it will not matter.
Because the design was cute, that’s why you picked it? You truly are a shallow person.
It seems as though there are several things in which I will have to properly train you again.
“Negligence” is the meaning of the word “sloppy”
Sleep quality is reduced with such negligence.
Here, touch my clothes.
Do you understand? What kind of material this is…
Yes, silk. Once you feel how smooth this is, you can never choose anything else.
Of course, this bed and pillow cover are also silk. You’ve noticed this much at least, haven’t you?
What a surprised sound you made…well, that’s fine.
Because silk is also excellent in humidity, it is perfect for wearing.
I will give you some next time.
In that case…well, let’s keep a design in mind for the moment.
It is important to choose something that would suit you.
You do not have to thank me. Because what is most suitable for you, that is something I know most.
Wide shouldered with an open neckline, a one-piece design would be good, wouldn’t it?
You’ll get cold? You don’t need to worry about such things.
If I suck your blood, your skin begins to heat up, and then you will no longer be cold.
If you twist your body and raise your voice, it’s only natural…for you.
That’s right, I’ve seen your twisted figure, it is useless to deny.
Lift up your face.
It seems you misunderstood. Honestly…you are a foolish person no matter how much time passes.
What you need is to be properly groomed, since you are only food.
In order to become suitable…do you understand now?
Even so…why are you looking at me with such eyes?
I have not said a single word of this thinking of you.
Despite this, I have told you what suits you.
It is natural to think that based on subjectivity? Think of your position.
Well even then. I need to know your hobbies.
If you want, I will give it a little thought.
I do not feel like giving you excessive expectation. Please do not hesitate.
What are you laughing for? Stop giving such a frustrating reaction.
*sighs* Is it not time you went to bed?
You are not sleepy? Please do not say such stupid things.
Even though I already explained this much, it’s amazing you can still say such things.
I see. It is important for you to consider actions that are in accordance with my will.
Are there secrets to sleeping well? That is something that exists without a doubt.
Speaking of things that make for a pleasant sleep, it is said that it is better to have a hot drink before going to sleep, no?
You already drank some? For once you had a good idea.
Then? What on earth did you drink?
Why did you choose black tea?
Enough already, tell me. Could it be that you heard it was good for sleep?
*sighs* As expected, you are disappointing.
Are you unaware that black tea, just like coffee, have the effect to hinder sleep?
No matter how relaxing the fragrance, you should avoid them because of such ingredients.
If you put something in the tea, though, the story may be different.
Yes. Because if you become unconscious, then you will sleep well.
Would you like to test it now? (The words he uses for this here already imply that he’s not being serious)
If you do not want to be told such a joke, then please correct yourself first.
Honestly, to be misled by such a rumor, you are a human that cannot be helped.
If you only listen to “others” you’ll only end up hurting yourself.
You only ever have to listen to what I say.
There’s no objection, right?
Before going to bed, hot milk is best. It would be good to drink some from now on.
It is important to do so, without question.
Let’s order some milk from the ranch. Getting it fresh every day would be good.
I don’t have to go that far? Exactly what are you misunderstanding?
I do not feel like drawing out your thoughts. This is simply all part of “food” (he’s referring to her) management.
Honestly…No matter how many times I say it, you never understand…*sighs*
I do not like doing things half-way. Even if it is something like “food” management.
In order to finish things perfectly, it is important not to go crazy for anything.
If you can move exactly how I’d like, I would not have to go this far.
It seems like you have a talent for making trouble for me… it’s upsetting.
…If you understand, then.
Go to sleep.
Why is it that you have to be ordered by me.
Moreover, you would like for me to leave the room. (It sounds awkward in translation, I wasn’t sure how to word it. But basically he’s annoyed by the fact that he constantly has to tell her things and she has no initiative on her own. And on top of no initiative, she wants him to leave the room so she can sleep alone)
No good. Since today I changed the pillow, I will stay here until you fall asleep.
Because it seems that you cannot sleep now that the pillow has been changed.
Well, you didn’t even notice that the pillow had been changed. Truly a disappointing woman. Be mindful of it.
Now, sleep. Close your eyes…yes.
-cuts to black-
Why is your body stiff?
With that sleeping face, you will be tired. That’s obvious isn’t it?
Please try your best to sleep. For example, isn’t there a pointless human saying about sheep?
Well, I don’t think such a thing will work. It is meaningless to know what little people think.
However, maybe it suits you. Try it.
*laughing* Did you really try it?
I don’t trust something so ridiculous…it’s silly.
But that’s exactly why…this foolish way suits you.
What happened? For you to be speaking to me while counting
Even with your eyes closed, can you feel my gaze on you?
There is no problem with that. Why should one take their eyes away from the target?
I must stay here until I can confirm that you are sleeping properly.
Or, could you be saying that I am an inconvenience by staying here?
If so, you must let me hear the reason. Come, say it.
It’s embarrassing? What are you saying?
I do not understand what it means to be embarrassed being next to me.
Think about it. Isn’t it funny for prey to be embarrassed by being near me?
Hm… Is there a different reason? It is nonsense to focus on one assumption.
So what other reason is there?
Are you feeling embarrassed that once again you’ve realized you are incompetent unlike myself?
Or are you feeling the shame and self pity for being unable to fulfill your role as food?
Later on, you will realize the advantage you have by having me.
This is how I…is it because I am staring at you from such a short distance?
Oh? It seems I found the answer.
-cuts to Reiji again-
Didn’t I tell you not to open your eyes?
*chuckles* Were you planning on stealing a glance?
If you’re planning to continue looking…
How about I look directly at you?
What’s wrong? You wanted to see, didn’t you?
Ah, that’s right….this is a good opportunity. With such a thing, let us graduate from what is upsetting us.
From here on, I will allow you to get used to it.
So then, please adjust your gaze. Do not look away, please continue watching.
Your pulse is faster than usual. I will keep this in mind.
With your eyes fixed on me…it may be more effective if we are closer together.
Woops. I cannot give you the option to escape.
I can’t bring you closer because I already have you roughly by the wrists…
That’s no fun. Then, come, closer to me. (the game makes you touch the screen so that you’ll get closer)
More. Even closer.
What are you waiting for? I do not remember telling you to stop.
At this distance our lips will touch? *chuckles*…is there something wrong?
There is no problem. Continue…Or do you not want to touch me?
What are you saying after coming such a distance?
Kiss me. (Ok the feel of this gets completely lost and I hate it but idk how the fuck else to translate it. It’s not as direct or harsh, it’s pretty soft the way he says it, more like he is requesting one from her, like ‘from you, a kiss if you please’ but not in so many words)
This is an order. You must absolutely obey my instructions.
Why are you upset? Even if you make me wait, I will not spoil you.
You understand don’t you?…Since expressions of commitment are fine, do hurry up.
*you have to touch the screen again for a kissu!*
Why did you avert your eyes?
Look while kisses are exchanged (ok but bastard closed his eyes in the CG??)
Yes, of course I was going to be looking to check.
However, even disciplining you in this fashion, it will take hundreds of years.
You can overwrite such feelings of embarrassment with something that feels good.
Don’t you think?
Furthermore, no one is saying to kiss deeply or intensely.
As for myself, I do not mind trying a kiss like…
I will dare to leave you here. It will also convey to me what sort of feelings you have.
However, I do not know how you truly think of me.
If it is to me, it is fine to show it as you’d like.
Why do you have such disappointed eyes?
*heroine closes eyes and kisses him*
*opens eyes again*
Was this your answer?
*his smile gets bigger*
…No, this is fine. It is not enough but…I understand.
Very well….*kisses her some more*
Your gaze…do not divert it…*more slow sensual kisses*
I would not say it is embarrassing, would you?
Because I received it from you.
I will let you get used to it….*more kissing*
*scoffs* What happened? Making that sort of face, your blood pressure is rising.
The blood vessels in you human beings are incredibly fragile, so please be careful.
But can you stop having such labored breathing over something like this?
It is not pleasure I want you to remember. It is comfort.
By touching your hands, forehead, lips.
I can understand that comfort has been gained.
Do you believe me?
*scoffs* What’s with that happy answer?
…if you say that, then calm down the speed of your pulse and relax.
And with that, you should try to sleep well.
Oh? Are you forgetting now? I came to manage your sleep.
That is why you must understand the original purpose exactly.
Are you going to sleep well?
I see. You are a troublesome woman.
Well then, for a little more…we can touch each other.
Calling it skinship is a bit awkward, but it cannot be helped.
Please do not be conceited. I do not accept all of your actions.
Well, like this…it is not so bad to feel warmth.
What? Do not hold someone’s hand without permission.
Your head? ….Like this?
*laughs* What sort of face are you making? In a stupid way, like that of a dog being groomed…it’s a happy face.
You’re the only woman who accepts my hand in such a happy way.
Good grief, for you to relax in such a way…
It seems that I will have to go to bed next to you every day…
Let’s do it like this for a while…just stroking…
Goodnight, [Your name]
When I am with you…my condition gets worse.
This…you are sleeping unprotected in my arms…you are truly a strange person.
But, for sleeping side by side to be so comfortable…
It was unnecessary to point it out. Nevertheless…why?
This satisfaction…makes me feel like I’m being filled with warmth.
It was not supposed to be in such a way, but seeing as it is now, it cannot be helped.
Authors Note: This was requested by the prompt: “You need to wake up because I can’t do this without you.” From the list of Prompts found HERE. All prompts/ Blurbs can be found HERE Warning: It is a bit sad, as you can assume from the sentence it started from.
He was never one to permit his emotions to show unless in the comfort of his own house, generally not even then did he grant them the opportunity to reveal very often. It was on rare occasions that you ever saw a tear escape from his precious eyes.
From the moment he received the call his body was diverted into an emotional panic state, he didn’t care that he was in the middle of signing his new contract; he didn’t care that it was impolite to answer the phone call. The minute he sensed his phone ringing he had an inkling something was wrong, something about the morning just wasn’t settling right with him.
He had left you this morning snuggled up to the warmth of the bed, he admired you peacefully sleeping, the way your hair fell messily around you, the way your hand stayed nestled under the pillow, and the way you bury yourself amongst the covers.
He had spent a little too long appreciating you this morning, he just couldn’t help it. When he did manage to wrench himself away from watching you peacefully sleep, he pressed to kiss to your forehead, whispering a swift “I love you” before forcing himself to leave the bedroom, gathering his things from downstairs before leaving to attend his meetings.
The whole way to the hospital all he could do was repeat the same sentence over and over again, “Please be okay, please be okay.” trying to hold himself together but failing as he shakes while trying to compose a text message to his sister. She was the one who always seemed to know what to do, additionally, she was also two hours closer than his Mum.
He did his best to hold it together while pacing around the waiting room, wearing the floors’ thin as he chews his lip, circling the small area without stopping to think twice. He didn’t know what to do, there was nothing for him to do but to wait for a doctor to tell him what was going on. There was nothing he wanted more than to know that you were okay, he needed comfort, he needed the reassurance that this morning wasn’t the last time that he would be able to admire you while you slept, he needed to know that all the plans the two of you had made weren’t going to be nothing but unaccomplished plans.
His eyes meet his sisters when she steps into the holding area, he doesn’t say a word, he just glances at her like a child who desperately needs to be held for a while. She doesn’t think twice before forcing him into a hug, his taller figure towering over her as she wraps her arms around her little, (not so little), brother. The minute he felt her warmth and comfort he allowed his emotions to flow, for the tears to finally settle, the tears he had been holding in since he got the call.
“I just want to know everything is okay. I knew something was wrong with the morning, but I didn’t think—I didn't—” He stutters, struggling to finish his sentence through his tears. “I didn’t think we’d end up here.” He chokes on his own words.
So, like last year, I was once again lucky enough to have a Jared Meet&Greet, and got to be close to a tired yet focused Jared Padalecki (who’d just woken up from a nap in between his autograph session and his M&G).
Before anyone began asking questions, there was a knock on the door but no one entered. Jared looked at a staff member and asked her “Is it Ackles? Is he fucking with me again?“ - then laughed. Apparently, it wasn’t Jensen who then joined us for Jared’s M&G, but Jensen’s stunt double. Why he was at the convention I have no idea, but he sat down and observed the M&G (as well as a few panels, I noticed later that day) - and confirmed a few facts when Jared asked him about something.
Jared’s chapter in ‘Family Don’t End With Blood’ was mentioned and whether or not he would consider writing a book. His answer was no. He said he’d spent a whole year writing that chapter and, besides not having a lot of time on his hands, he’d had some anxiety writing it (I guess because he was afraid it wasn’t good enough). However, Jared said he felt like he owed it to us to be honest about it all. I admit I was struggling not to tear up at this point, having not only read his chapter but had been in Rome during JIB6 when Jared had gone through his breakdown.
A fan mentioned her reason behind telling Jared a funny story during his solo panel (the beenie/penis story - I’m sure there’re videos of it if someone doesn’t know what I’m talking about), that it was because people often tell Jared sad stories and she therefore wanted to make him laugh instead. She also said that he took on too much on his shoulders, that he was not alone in this, and that we were all there to carry some of the weight with him. Jared appreciated that.
He also got some questions about his love for watches, his ‘Venatore’ wine (Jared said he could talk forever about his love for both watches and wine) and his favorite author.
By then, the M&G was almost over but Jared luckily picked me to ask the last question. My question was: “When you do emotional scenes on the show with Jensen, do you think of something sad? Or does the emotion come natural to you after working together for so long and being so close in real life?“
I got really distracted by the fact that Jared was looking straight at ME and answering MY question, but this is what I remember of his answer:
Jared said it was a great question. He said that he, in the beginning of the show, did think of sad things to bring out that kind of emotion, but proceeded to say that he doesn’t do that anymore. Jared said that he hates when the script says “Sam cries“ (which is something Jensen also mentioned in his solo panel) because he doesn’t wanna cry unless he feels like the scene calls for it. So if someone writes that in a script or if a director tells him to cry, he’ll say “I appreciate you saying it but I’ve known this character for 12 years, so please don’t ever tell me that again”. Jared mentioned the scene in 12x22 where Dean and Sam had to break through the wall in the bunker. It wasn’t supposed to be an emotional scene, but he and Jensen had felt like the scene called for it. Jared then said that he couldn’t remember if Sam cried during that scene, and I remarked “Well,I did!“ which made Jared laugh.
He mentioned the church scene between Dean and Sam in the episode “Sacrifice“ and how it was originally scripted that Sam should be all tough about it and practically yell his words at Dean. However, that wasn’t what the scene called for. When they’d gone through the scene, Jared (as Sam) had felt the emotion and had teared up, so that’s the direction he had to go with the scene (and thank God for that since it’s one of my favorite scenes!) He continued to talk about how the brain knows the emotion isn’t real but the body doesn’t, so it’s tough having to do emotional scenes - especially when 5 minutes in a scene takes like 14 hours to film.
Jared then talked about how Sam is a tough guy who, nine out of ten times, tries to hold back his tears rather than show them because he wants to be strong. Jared remarked that crying is not a sign of weakness - that you’re also strong when you cry - but that Sam tries to hold it in. Which, Jared said, was also an emotionally draining thing to do. Both for him and Sam.
Note: During his talk about the church scene and how Sam always tries to be tough and not cry, I swear Jared’s eyes turned wet for a second (as well as my eyes did). Whether it was because of what he said or because he was just tired, I can’t know for sure - but I was sitting pretty close to him and he was looking straight into my eyes at the time.
Anyways, Jared also talked about how guest stars often get something (I don’t remember what he called it. Crystallized something) sprayed into their eyes to be able to cry. Jared has only tried that one time, and that was when he was in House of Wax. His character had to cry but Jared couldn’t do it because he had to sit completely still in the scene (where he’s been waxed) and couldn’t use his facial expressions. That was the only time he’d ever needed help to cry in a scene.
Jared then repeated that it was a really good question, but time had run out by then and he had to leave the room. I was more than a little stoked to get such a long and detailed answer to my question - and more than a little awestruck to have Jared’s eyes on me throughout almost his entire answer.
Thank you to everyone who did donate to help me with rent. I’m still struggling a bit and I just got a new job yesterday and don’t start till Monday so if you would like to still donate for things like food, rides, and I also need to buy the uniform for work, I would love and appreciate that if not please reblog if you can!
I love the idea of a friendship growing between MC and Jaehee at first because they're both the only girls and, like, sometimes you just gotta talk smack about the boys with another girl, but then it blossoms into this really good and deep friendship and I was wondering if you could maybe show how that friendship would manifest with MC's different relationships with the RFA boys and V?
A/N: THIS IS SUCH A
GOOD IDEA AND I LOVE IT SO VERY MUCH BECAUSE I FEEL IT ON A SPIRITUAL LEVEL I
WANT JAEHEE AS A BESTIE IN EVERY ROUTE (also i kind of made this how they all reacted to the friendship i hope you dont mind) ~Admin 404
- I don’t think it’d affect him
-Like yyeess MC I’m so happy you got
-Does get a little jealous of her
-“MC!!! Wanna come play some
LOLOL with me???” “Nah, me and Jaehee are going to go shopping!”
“But…the two of you hung out all day yesterday?” “Yeah, and
we’re gonna do it again! I’ll text you later!”
-HE WANTS SOME MC TIME TOO *angry
-As long as you make time for him,
-But pls tell him secrets too MC he
wants to be your other best friend
-Also lowkey worried because??? What
do the two of you talk about?
-He remembered some of the things
his sister and her friends used to talk about and he was nOT EXCITED
-DID YOU TALK ABOUT HIM??? WAS IT
GOOD THINGS??? OH GOD MC PLEASE TELL ME. WAIT NEVERMIND DON’T TELL ME I DONT
WANT TO KNOW. WAIT YES I DO. WAIT NO. AAAAAAAAAAA
-*Slides into the living room and
seductively throws himself over the side of the couch*
-“Where the two of you talking
- yeah talking about how you’re a
total fucking DORK
-He’s good friends with Jaehee too!!
Why won’t you let him in the room for talk time ;A;
-Tried sneaking into the room to
listen but the two of you are smarter than that and have to physically throw
him out of the room
-He’s happy that you’re such good
friends with her, though!!!
-Since he’s her friend as well, he
knows how badly she needed a friend for some girl talk
-But?? Still?? He waNTS TO KNOW
-MC WHAT DO YOU SAY ABOUT ME TO YOUR
- honestly pouts and sits outside
of the door sometimes when the two of you throw him out, blows up your phone
until you yell through the door
-This….is so weird
-Why is Assistant Kang in his house
-Tries to hand her work almost every
-Until you kind of knock it out of
his hand and it falls to the floor
-?????? MC????? It’s her job??????
-“She is here as my GUEST Jumin,
YOU do that work”
-G A S P MC WHAT
-Overall he’s just so…..awkward
when you and Jaehee hang out at home. Otherwise, he could care less if the two
of you were close friends. He loves that you have a close friend to talk with!
He also doesn’t care if the two of you talk about him, whatever
-Like how is he supposed to act???
He’s almost two different people. He’s so laid back at home with you and all
business when he’s at work with Jaehee. WhaT IS HE SUPPOSED TO DO ;A;
- locks himself in his office
when she’s over to avoid the awkwardness
-*dresses up as a girl*
-*slides into the room to join the
-*is promptly kicked out by the two
-The only person he had like that in
his life was his brother
-But they’ve been apart for so long,
and with everything that happened….
-He tries to have that kind of
friendship now and Saeran just kind of walks out of the room
-So!!!! He’s happy for you!!! But
also very jealous (though he hides it)
-You can tell how upset he gets
sometimes, and you and Jaehee agree to let him hang out every now and then to
make him happy
- only if he dresses up like a
-When the two of you don’t let him
in, he just turns on the CCTV because??? He wants the juicy gossip on all of
the members too??? BAD SAEYOUNG
-Completely respects your privacy
-Please, MC, you and Jaehee spend
all the time you would like together
-Talk about whatever you would like
-Your laughter is muSIC TO HIS EARS
-HE HAS TO STOP HIMSELF FROM RUNNING
IN WITH HIS CAMERA TO CAPTURE THE BEAUTIFUL, WARM MOMENTS BETWEEN THE TWO OF
-He couldn’t care less what the two
of you talked about
-Knows that if you want to share
with him, you will
-Plus, Jaehee isn’t really a loud,
rowdy person well most of the time
-So!! She can stay all she wants!!!
It doesn’t break the nice relaxed feeling of the house and he appreciates that
-He even makes the two of you tea
and some snacks every now and then!!! hes like a mum omfg
-What do you mean you’re going out
-What do you mean I can’t come in
and sit in the living room
-whAT DO YOU MEAN BY GIRL TIME WHAT
THE FUCK IS GIRL TIME
-MC WHAT DID I DO WRONG ARE YOU MAD
- someone please help him he
doesn’t understand how this all works
-Constant reassuring that you’re
just going to hang out with Jaehee!! You aren’t mad!!
-There’s just some things you have
to talk about with a girl friend, ya know??
-If you bring up even a slightly
awkward topic he gets flustered and immediately agrees to leave the two of you
-A lot of the time though, Jaehee
doesn’t mind if he’s there? He’s actually pretty quiet and uninterested
-He just likes to talk shit about
Saeyoung let him into the conversation every now and then plEASE he needs to
get it out