i decided to get dressed so i can make a good impression on the new year~

there were a lot of references in the new video, did you catch them all? let’s take a look.

1. nils sjoberg

remember that time she wrote a song with calvin harris but used a different name? this is that name, on one of the gravestones. after releasing that she had actually written the summer hit “this is what you came for,” calvin harris, among others, threw a fit on twitter - even though it had been agreed that if calvin and taylor broke up, she could express that she had written the song.

2. the out of the woods dress

this blue dress probably looks familiar! it’s the same one she wore in the out of the woods music video, the last music video of the 1989 era. this poses the same frantic question, are we out of the woods yet? as this grave-digging taylor suggests, not yet.

3. here lies 2014 met gala taylor

at first glance, it just looks like the taylor from before laying there, but after pausing it and going back, one realizes that isn’t zombie taylor, rather 2014 met gala taylor. 2014 would have been the start of the 1989 era, and the out of the woods video was the end of it, thus: by the end of 1989 era, she was ready to “bury” it.

4. the dollar bill

if you look just next to taylor’s shoulder, you can see a good ole george washington. one single dollar bill. is this a reference to taylor’s sexual assault trial recently, and the one dollar she won then? most likely, because if you go to other shots of her in the tub that aren’t directly above her, the dollar bill isn’t there, meaning it was edited in later, which would explain how it got there so late in the game. it stands for the simple victories everyone else gets to celebrate, while she does the same things and gets flack for it.

5. et tu brute

a famous line from shakespeare’s julius caeser, “et tu, brute” means “and you, brute?” right as marcus brutus lands the fatal blow in julius caeser’s, his once-friend’s back. this is a metaphor for all the people that taylor thought she could trust, before they turned around and trashed her name.

6. the tea

probably pretty simple to grasp - the tea is hot. alternatively, she, the snake in the video, gets to serve the tea this time around, or, she gets to lay down her side of the story.

7. car crash + paparazzi

did you see what happened here, at face value? taylor was in an expensive vehicle that got in a head-on crash, but everyone just stood back and took pictures, instead of rushing over to help. is this a reference to all the times that everyone stood back, took pictures, and laughed at her when she was beaten down? yes.

8. the grammy

the grammy blends in with the gold of the car and her outfit, so it’s pretty easy to miss, but there it is, in her hand, even though the car crashed. perhaps the future is being predicted?

9. the birdcage + leg tattoo

look closely at taylor’s leg, and you can see what looks to be a snake tattooed there. not to mention, here she is entertaining in a birdcage, which is guarded. she’s trying to have fun in this prison, biting her tongue, being the girl everyone wants, but she longs to be let free.

10. robbing a bank/stream co., blind for love

besides getting major harley quinn vibes, what else do we notice here? taylor swift robbing a vault, which says “stream company.” remember that time that taylor wrote an open letter to apple music and called her money hungry, even though she was taking her music off to benefit poorer artists? yes, we do. this is what she’s referencing here. also, her shirt says “blind for love” which makes sense, because she frequently refers to herself as a hopeless romantic, someone who opens theirselves up for love, even if it means getting hurt.

11. the squad

without explaining anything else, this scene can be described as a crowd of blank faced people, staring at taylor swift, who stands upon a stage looking menacing, and impressing one message upon the crowd: u, squad. it’s reminiscent of all the times people said taylor swift was over, because her friends, fans, or sales were fake or temporary. this is like a visual representation of the comments people made about taylor forcing people to do things for her to create the image she desired.

12. fake friends

and here we have the mannequins of the girls from the prior scene, chopped up. this one is pretty straight forward, these “friends” that taylor thought she had sometimes turned out to be more fickle and “fake” than she thought. also, can we talk about how taylor’s red boots are reminiscent of kinky boots? because yes.

13. the dancers, i heart ts

before taylor enters the room, the dancers are goofing around, but the second she comes in, the jump to attention, and rip off their jackets to reveal shirts that say “i heart ts.” it’s a throwback to when tom hiddleston wore a shirt with the same message on the fourth of july in 2016, and everyone said that she had forced him to wear it. it’s the same thing as before with the squad - the world decided that she had forced all these people to love her, not that they actually did.

14. the fight for glory

every time you pause this video, you come across a different taylor. squirrel pajamas wanegbt taylor, 2015 bbma’s taylor, 2014 acm’s taylor, wanegbt red tour taylor, 2016 new years rockin’ eve taylor, sparkly guitar fearless tour taylor, bleachella taylor, ballerina shake it off taylor, 2016 vma’s taylor… the list goes on and on. here, you can see them all fighting and clawing, trying to stand on top. it reminds me of “i don’t like your kingdom keys, they once belonged to me,” and the parallels between long live and new romantics in that line alone. all those times, she thought she’d made it to a point in her career where she could be respected as much as other artists in her tier, only to harshly realize she was going to get her name ran through the mud for doing the same thing as everyone else. the fight for glory is steep, and unfair.

15. junior jewels

looks familiar right? not quite! it is the same theme of the shirt, but look closely at the signatures - they’re signatures of actual people this time around. names like ed, selena, este, lena, blake, and ryan, among others, can be seen on her shirt, representing the true friends that stuck with her through her reputation being bashed.

16. “SHUT UP!”

here, all the different versions of taylor are repeating things that the media or other celebrities had said about her, until finally 2009 vma’s taylor repeated the same thing that 2017 taylor said in an instagram post - “i’d very much like to be excluded from this narrative.” the entire time, you can hear camera shutters going off and people chatting, presumably the rest of the world watching as she got torn apart. when vma’s taylor makes this final statement, all the other taylor’s, as well as what sounds to be an entire off-screen crowd, yell “SHUT UP” before the screen goes black. this is a powerful image, and it’s supposed to be. all the times she suffered, and people told her that she was overreacting, faking it, or doing it for publicity. if you feel remorse for seeing young taylor getting yelled at, or sorrow for the taylors falling when she said “because she’s dead,” you’re doing it right. 

nothing in this video was an accident.

if you’re angry at taylor for this video exposing things you said about her, or you’re repeating any of the words the versions of herself said at the end, you’re proving her point. her reputation was destroyed because people made a sport of making fun of her. and now, as taylor said, there will be no explanation, just reputation. 

How to be good at interviews:

I’m having next Wednesday my first professional interview (eeeeek) so I decided to share the research I’m doing. I googled all of this and chose the information I found most important, and organized it. I truly hope it’s helpful for someone out there :)


  • always do your homework: learn about the organization, its ideas and story 
  • don’t necessarily memorize responses, but try to have a planned general strategy for answering common interview questions
  • practice in front of the mirror
  • be ready to briefly describe related experience
  • compare your qualifications to what the organization wants from you


  1. What’s your biggest weakness? Think of a genuine issue you have as well as ways you have managed to work with/around it.
  2. What’s your biggest strengths?” Stand out from the crowd and don’t be afraid to speak about your strengths in an authentic and compelling way. See if your strengths align with the company’s needs.
  3. Why do you want this job?”/ “Why should we hire you?” Stay focused on why your background makes you an ideal candidate and tell them how you are going to contribute to that department and that company. 
  4. Tell me about yourself.” Don’t tell them your life story, instead discuss what your interests are relating to the job and why your background makes you a great candidate.
  5. Why did you leave your last job/position/school?” Do not go into details about your dissatisfaction, tell them that while you valued the experience and education you received, you felt that the time had come to seek outo a new opportunity, expand your skills and knowledge, and to find a company with wich you could grow. Try to put a positive spin on things. Be honest if you were fired but don’t trash your previous boss.
  6. Where do you see yourself in five years?”  Be honest about what your greater aspirations are.

And much much much more (from your behaviour to work experiences, education, interests and motivation or problems and challeges you’ve faced previously), I would encourage you to try to write down some topics for each questions that work for you. Being prepared is everything.


  • sleep and eat well so you look rested and healthy on the big day
  • give yourself time to calm down/meditate/relax
  • don’t noodle around on your phone or electronic device while waiting - it may communicate boredom and frivolousness, maybe stick your notebook/notes

What to wear: normally it’s best to dress neutral, professionally/formal, not overly fashionable or trendy, and brightly colored clothing is bad. Make sure your clothes are neat and wrinkle free, and make sure your image is very clean and neat.

What to bring: if revelant, extra copies of your resume on quality paper, a notepad or professional binder and pen, information you might need to complete an application.


  • make eye contact
  • show courtesy to everyone during the interview, this means everyone from the reception staff to the interviewer herself
  • smile
  • have good posture
  • avoid fidgeting too much or playing with your hair/touching face
  • have a good handshake
  • don’t cross your arms over your chest
  • walk, act, talk with confidence
  • be comfortable and relaxed
  • choose the words you say
  • don’t place stuff on their desk
  • manage your reactions - facial and body expressions give clues on how you feel: project a positive image
  • show interest and enthusiasm
  • show warmth and personality - being personable is about getting the interviewer’s emotional side to like you and believe in you
  • don’t lie to make it seem like you know something you don’t. You probably won’t fool your interviewer, and admitting to not know something is much more impressive than lying
  • be honest
  • keep things simple and short, talk in 30-90 second chunks. Any less and you’re likely to seem unqualified; any more and your interviewer is likely to lose interest in what you’re saying

THINK OF QUESTIONS TO ASK: participating actively during the interview gives a good impression of your level of interest in the job. Most of times it is more adequeate to ask in the end of the interview.  But I feel like you really need to make sure your questions are adequate. Examples:

  • “What types of training opportunities do you offer?”
  • “What are the chances for professional growth in this job opportunity?”
  • “Is there anything else I can provide you with that would be helpful?”
  • ALWAYS ask the “ When can I expect to hear back from you about the position?” question if  the interviewer does not tell you

Good questions are open-ended, and thus cannot be answered with a “yes” or “no.” Better questions are behavioral: they ask how things are done or have happened in the past, because current and past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior.


  • shake hands with the interviewer - try to invest some feeling into the handshake and pleasantries, even if you think you bombed the interview
  • hold your head high and keep your cool
  • your emotions are probably teetering at the highest of highs or the lowest of lows, but try to stay measured
  • project a cool confidence, not cockiness, and walk out of the interview with your head held high


  • when you know in your heart and your gut that you bring to the table something just as valuable as a paycheck and maybe much more – your tremendous experience, intellect and instinct – you’ll carry yourself differently. You won’t trip over your words in an effort to please His Majesty or Her Highness, because you’ll see yourself and the interviewer as equals on a level playing field. 
  • you are valuable and unique. You have something very special in you and you deserve to be given a chance. good luck!
From the Other Side of the Signing Table

“I don’t know what to say to you,” the girl said. “Um, thanks, I guess.”

“Thanks is good,” I replied.

Silence stretched, punctuated only by the scuffle of a Sharpie on a page.

We were in the same boat, the girl and I — both at a book festival, both at the end of a long day full of people, both in a signing line that had been going on for an hour already. There was only one big difference between us: she was on one side of the table, and I was on the other. Sometimes that difference seems to matter more than others.

Before I was published, I read a lot of accounts of what it was like to have your work out there, but I never read anything about what it was like to have yourself out there. I suppose I never really thought about it, to tell you the truth. I thought you wrote a book and hopefully people liked it and if I thought about book tours at all, I figured they involved standing on a stage for a bit before disappearing into a rental car. The truth, however, is that now — ten years and fifteen novels in to my career — most of my hours in front of people are spent in a signing line. Forty minutes on a stage or behind a table for a panel, and then two or three hours meeting a few hundred strangers. I had no idea what it would be like.

This is what it’s like.

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Pyramid Scheme scammer ends up paying in the end!

(very long story)

About 6 or 7 years ago, I was trying to enlist into the military. I ended up not joining but that’s a story for another time. At this point, I was led to believe I was about 4 months away from leaving for Boot camp. I was running out of savings, and needing a part time job for some spending cash while I waited around.

So I did what any enterprising 20something would do, and searched craigslist for jobs. I normally hate sales jobs, especially those based on commissions, but figured it would be a great way to earn some extra cash short term. Found a few job listings that looked promising, and put out some applications. A few days later I received a call from David. He was opening up a new store and needed associates. He liked my resume and asked if I’d be available for an interview on Friday morning. I was very up front with him, and let him know that the distance was a bit more than I’d normally drive for a retail job, and asked what he was offering for an hourly rate, to see if it was worth the drive. He told me that they were planning on offering an hourly rate in the mid teens, along with commission. Seemed like an ok deal, so I agreed to be there Friday at 8am.

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Study buddy (Smut)

I often imagine Sehun being the Flirt Master who can get any girl… 

Originally posted by fy-sexo-exo

Pairing: Sehun x Reader

Genre: Smut

Word count: 5543 words

Warning: Rough sex, Public sex, Dirty-Dirty talk, Voyeurism

AU: College!AU

Study buddy

Four standard assumptions of perfectly competitive models – One. Economies of scale are… small relative… to the size of the… market. Two. Output… is homogenous. Three. Information… is… soft- and… fluffy. Four. I want to marry you… sweet, cuddly turtle-bunny-cushion. Something hits the elbow you’re leaning your head upon and you shoot up, slightly panicking. Shit. You had fallen asleep. It was only for a minute; you defend yourself in your mind. Nobody saw you, right?

You lift your hands to rub your eyes but stop yourself in the nick of time. You have almost forgotten that you are wearing black eyeliner and mascara. Thank God you remembered just in time – It would have been a catastrophe if you didn’t.

You look around, pinching your eyes a few times instead and examining the endless array of tables that is populated with college students and their college books, notebooks, markers and pencils. During the exam periods, it’s difficult to find a spot left empty. Outside the College library, there’s typically a line of students waiting to claim a seat, even at this unholy hour of nine pm.

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Terms and Conditons. (M)

Originally posted by nnochu

Requested – Yes.

Prompt – Jungkook was out looking for a new flavor of the month and his eyes land on a certain previously taken girl.

Warning – This is a sugar daddy Jungkook scenario. 

Words – 2.3k. 


The energy was heightened as groups of individuals danced around the large ballroom held for an extravagant party. Jeon Jungkook was known to be quite a party planner when it came to his business because he always wanted to make a strong entrance plus he wanted to impress the girls that might be lucky enough to land in his bed that night.

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Preferences: First Meeting/Mate Bond

I got part of this idea from @stherix for when the mating bond snaps, thank you darling. First meeting is for the non-Fae in this preference, which was requested by @fiery-feyre @embracethenight138 and some nonnies

THANK YOU @highladyyfeyre @my-boyo-fenrys and @autumn03 for being my beta team on this, you guys helped so much because I honestly didn’t think this was any good so thank you!

Preference Tag List: @runesandfaes @autumn03 @fiery-feyre @januarystears @caitlyn-blackwell @starzablaze @writergash @illyriangoddess @wyrdtoyourmother (let me know if you want to be added to this tag list!) 


It snaps right away for him. He smells your intoxicating scent and he meets your eyes and just. Boom. Somehow, in a split second, he is across the room in front of you, his pine green eyes boring into your own with fierce intensity and he purrs, ‘Hello, mate,’ with just the stupidest half smile on his face that you fall in love with immediately. He offers you his hand and bends down low, without taking his eyes off you, to place a kiss on your knuckle. It is a reverent and completely loving touch that sends shivers down your spine and then it clicks for you as well. Rowan’s smile widens because he sees realization dawn in your eyes as he straightens. You take in his tall, strong frame, corded muscles, long white hair, and you murmur, ‘well hello to you too’. 


It seems like all the air is taken from his lungs when it first snaps. His heart is pounding rapidly in his chest and Rhys feels as if it might explode. His usual smug expression disappears until unrelenting determination and love shine through. He doesn’t even believe - can’t believe - that the Cauldron would grace him with such an exquisite creature as a mate. ‘Mine’ he whispers, more to himself than anyone else. You’re across the room so you don’t hear him and Rhys is pretty sure that you don’t know yet, so he decides to not tell you for a little while. However, that doesn’t stop him from murmuring quietly practically every time he sees you - a smile playing on his face - ‘mine.’


She is completely and utterly shocked when the mate bond snaps. Being half-Fae, she was never completely sure that she would get a mate, much less you, her best friend since she was a child. She frets for days about how to tell you, and ends up showing up at your bedroom door one night, in nothing but an extremely scandalous nightgown. You sputter a few times at the sight, trying not to stare at her though you desperately want to. Aelin mutters, ‘Huh, I thought my mate would be happy to see me with so few clothes’. Your eyes widen because you can’t believe that you might have just actually heard her say that. She has a sly smirk on her face as you take a second to process. Finally, you drag your eyes back to her frame and take your time raking them up and down her scantily clad body. ‘Well if by mate, you mean me, then you would be correct’, Aelin’s smile grows and she pushes her way passed you and onto the bed. Slightly opened mouth but not reluctant in the least, you follow her right away.

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anonymous asked:

I feel like I need a VanderwoodxMC au where they are both daycare employees. Just baby! Choi twins everywhere

✿ Ok so thank you to @hanamayhem for jabbering with me about this. She’s a treasure. Anyway, I agree, so here you go. Vanderwood and MC are the daycare staff taking care of the bitty-baby RFA, inspired by this amazing artwork by @prinnia!

  • Yoosung bursts into tears whenever he scrapes his knee, and you always run over to kiss his boo-boos better. Vanderwood rolls their eyes when this happens, thinking it’s kind of stupid, but when they cut their finger and you give it a quick peck as a joke, they just… die… hhh…
  • You and Vanderwood go shopping for children’s books. Vanderwood gets incredibly into it, comparing the art of the books, the story-lines and premises, and the morals conveyed by them. It doesn’t matter that they’re taking care of five year olds THEY NEED QUALITY LITERATURE, OK?
  • One day, your afternoon is just covered with vomit and crayons on the walls, and Vanderwood quietly gets you a cup of coffee and tells you to sit down while you clean up.
  • Little bitty Zen is both a beautiful and an entirely pure child, and you will FIGHT HIS PARENTS who want you to stop encouraging him to be artistic. Vanderwood has your back, and for the first time, Zen finds out what it’s like to have adults he can rely on. This makes him incredibly attached to both of you, which manifests itself in… odd ways, one of them being him thinking you and Vanderwood would be so great if you dated and got married. He then proceeds to try to get you together.
  • He tries to rope the rest of the gang into this plot. Yoosung doesn’t understand, Jaehee thinks it’s silly, and Jumin gets incredibly jealous about the idea because he wants all of your attention.
  • (Jumin has latched onto you as an alternative parental figure, and is not in the mood to share in any capacity.)
  • Among Zen’s plots include: 
    • giving poorly drawn love letters to you signed from Vanderwood, while misspelling Vanderwood’s name in a new and unique way each time.
    • trying to hang mistletoe above the doorway, which he attempts to accomplish by bullying Yoosung into lifting him up on his shoulders. This ends in both of them falling, and Yoosung’s wretched sobbing attracts your attention. You kiss his boo-boos better, and Vanderwood freaks out over Zen getting a bruise.
    • drawing you and Vanderwood tickets to a ‘fancy restaurant’ and saying you should go together. It’s doubtful Zen understands much about adult life.
  • Most of this just causes Vanderwood to sigh and facepalm.
  • Despite Vanderwood acting like they don’t care, they do actually get pretty concerned when the little brats get hurt. This is particularly true for Saeran and Saeyoung, who they notice both get hurt a lot. Doing some digging, they realize the abusive homelife they’re both enduring…
  • And Vanderwood seriously considers trying to get custody of them.
  • (Saeyoung gives Vanderwood terrible memes he’s made in MS Paint, and Vanderwood secretly hangs them on their fridge.)
  • Jaehee gets put in daycare right after her parents die, so she’s sad, miserable, and despondent. You would pay particular attention to her… except Vanderwood takes up that burden without being prompted, and often gives her special tutoring to keep her occupied. She’s very quick for her age.
  • (One time, Vanderwood - to impress you - lets everybody doodle on them. Saeran gives them panda eyes. Zen gives them a ‘cool tattoo’ of a badly drawn eagle.)
  • V is also one of the quiet kids, so he hangs out with Jaehee, or watches Yoosung and Saeyoung play pretend knights on the playground. Sometimes, he wanders off to go look at pretty flowers and birds, and he’s given you more than one heart-attack. Jumin is pretty good at finding him, though.
  • Saeyoung and Yoosung have this complicated LARP-esque arrangement with a complicated storyline and ‘classes’ and stuff, which they try to drag the others into. You’re often the ‘princess’ everyone is trying to save. Vanderwood is often the mount.
  • (When they put Saeran on their shoulders though and he laughs, their heart just… melts.)
  • Jaehee helps V with his math, and V stacks blocks with Jaehee. They have a kinda cute quasi-puppy love thing going on where they’re both nerdy and quiet and have terrible families.
  • Yoosung finds a puppy one day and decides he wants to KEEP IT, but knows that if you or Vanderwood found out, so he and Saeyoung try to secretly take care of the puppy without alerting any adults. The rest of the kids find out one-by-one, and are either bribed or begged in secrecy.
  • Zen tattles to you eventually because he’s worried about the puppy, and you take it to the shelter because you know you can’t have a dog in the day-care. Maybe you could get a hamster for them or something…?
  • (cue the Hamtaro theme)
  • Zen makes everyone dress up and put on plays. Jaehee LOVES this, but she’s too shy to participate. Jumin thinks it’s stupid and complains loudly, but then he immediately changes his tune when you praise Zen and tries to be a BETTER ACTOR THAN HIM. Yoosung just wants to dress up and put on a crown.

Originally posted by wonhontology

Title: Arrangement
Words: 6137
Genre: Smut
Other: Callboy!shownu

Your name: submit What is this?

Shownu joined the business out of necessity, he had been friends with Wonho for many years but never actually considered it a viable career till he was in major debt. In fear of losing his apartment he called up his friend and asked him what were the requirements; after a week of auditions he’d been accepted as one of the few call boys who weren’t hired out for “companionship” - but more for lap dances or as a high class escort. He found that he enjoyed it after a while, even though the first week had been exhausting, sometimes working over 50 hours a week, he realized that he had skills that men and women alike both sought out.  

Shownu was highly charismatic, people enjoyed talking to him and women loved having him on their arm for the night. When it came down to the more raunchy side of the business his expectations were instantly risen - he didn’t have sex with clients who hadn’t reserved him less than five times - meaning they were extremely wealthy and wouldn’t skimp out on paying for his companionship services. To say he was a bit shallow when it came to who he slept with, was an understatement, he didn’t serve older men or older women as it just wasn’t his style. Most of his clients were between the ages of 20 to 40, and most of them were women with an itch only he could scratch.

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Way Better than Bumble (Spencer Reid x Reader)

Hi loves! Another Unbeta’d fluffy request fill for anon who wanted “request about reader is Garcia’s close friend and she sees the team out for drinks or something and she goes up to Garcia’s and gets introduced to the team & hits it off with Reid.” Hope you enjoy it! xx 

You tousled with your hair one last time before you grabbed your keys, thinking that it was as good as it was going to get (a conclusion you had to make each time you got ready to go out, if you were being honest). Half of you was excited at the prospect of meeting this guy from Bumble, but another half hated this. You and Michael had hit it off well enough on the app, he was good at keeping up conversation without being pushy or getting weird, but there was an awkwardness that you couldn’t shake. You didn’t even tell you best friend Penelope about the date, afraid to look desperate - or that Pen would try and set you up herself.

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Assistant to the Captain pt. 4

Prompt: Natasha convinced Steve he needs an assistant even though he’s convinced he can do it all himself. He gives in and that’s where you come in.

Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 2790

Warnings: slow burn, language, alcohol

A/N: another part for you all. i said this was slow burn and i’m staying true to that haha. hope you all enjoy!

Tagged: @lobathenerd @wildestdreamsrps @itsmaytimetosaygoodbye @bluebird214 @sailorkeann @oldpaperfan @flowerista @moonofhisheart @letsgetfuckingsuperwholocked @alexmollineaux @charlotte-of-the-enterprise @buckysblonde @kellieabro @movingonto-betterthings @ithecrownjewel @daisyskyed @heytherepartner @rejecteddesire @just-a-girl74 @bekah814  @huntermichelle  @wish-i-was-a-mermaid @coley0823 @forever-wander-neversettle @heathrmxnamara @myteenwolf-world

Part 3



You’d almost forgotten it was Saturday until you got to the mall. It was packed full of people, families, couples on dates. It took a couple stores until you found a dress that you thought would be appropriate. It was black and came up to your mid thigh. The front was very conservative but the back was very open and ended with a straight line. But it exposed a great deal of your back. It was form fitting in the bust but when it reached your waist, it puffed out. The folds of fabric in the front gave it a bit of dimension. It was perfect.

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Mother Knows Best, LMM/Reader

Prompt: The Oscars’ luncheon breeds a new relationship for Lin.

Words: 2,450 (Good LORD)

Author’s Note: I’ve been looking for some smaller things to write as I gear up for the write-a-thon, and Lin was tweeting about the Oscars’ Luncheon. Got a bit of an inspiration. (Y/M/N) = Your Mother’s Name. I know that some people don’t have mothers but this prompt required a parental figure. Feel free to change it to anyone you want!

Warnings: General lack of knowledge as to what happens at an Oscar Luncheon.

Askbox | Masterlist

“I’ve never even heard of this.” You sigh into your phone, your publicist trying to maintain an even and calm tone with you. “I mean, yeah, any day I get to stand in the same room as Meryl Streep you can count me in.”

“Amazing! I’ll get in touch with your stylist-” You allowed the eccentric woman to go off about a list of her duties as you boarded your subway, weaving through bodies to find an empty spot next to the handrail.

“Nothing too insane. This is a luncheon, I’m not meeting the queen.”

“This is the Oscars, Y/N! No one will be in a sweatshirt and Levis!”

You certainly wish you could be.

The past year has been a bit of a whirlwind for you - interviews and movie offers and an Oscar nomination. Everything was still very new to you - you had never even gone on a talk show until just a few months ago. A year ago you were struggling to pay rent and scraping together money to be able to feed both you and your dog.

Then a once in a lifetime chance came your way and you jumped on it before you could blink.

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Description: Peter Parker is the star quarterback on his school’s varsity football team and has everything figured out. He has good grades, athletic ability, and plenty of college scholarships to choose from. But no matter how hard he tries the one thing he can’t seem to get is the girl.

Author’s Note: I made post earlier today asking if ya’ll’d (sorry I’m from Texas)be interested in a football player Peter Parker AU and a lot of you wanted it so yea here it is. This can definitely become a multi-part fic so if you want more let me know and as always let me know what you think about it! I’d love to hear from you and I originally got this AU idea from another fandom but thought it fit well here too.

Word Count: 1663


A stream of sweaty boys all high on adrenaline from their first win of the season poured into the locker room with high spirits. Slaps on the back and congratulatory yells were exchanged as Peter Parker jogged into the locker room with a smile on his face.

“Parker, dude. How the hell did you pull off that last play? The only Quarterback to run that one successfully was Stark in 96,” his friend Ned said with admiration, opening up his locker which was next to his.

“Yea man you were on fire tonight. And it’s only the first game! Playoffs this year are gonna be a breeze I can tell,” Harrison exclaimed as he walked up to Peter, patting him on the back quite hard.

Peter took off his jersey and shoulder pads leaving him in his white sweaty tank. “What can I say guys, I’m just that good,” he joked before putting his jersey and shoulder pads in his locker along with his scratched up helmet.

“I just hope you can pull that off again at the Homecoming game next month because you’ll be the talk of the school man,” Harrison added closing his locker.

Homecoming week. The week of what was arguably to most important game of the season for them. They always played against the schools biggest rival and the turnout at the game was always the largest then. Every student from both schools would be there.

Keep reading


Pairing: Spencer Reid x Derek Morgan x Reader (Criminal Minds)

Summary: [requested by anon]: derek morgan and the reader are in an open relationship (specific details explained!) and he teaches spencer how to eat a girl out by letting him practice on her.

Word Count: 1,670

Warnings: smUT ;)

Other Notes: i made morgan and the reader in a open relationship so i hope that’s ok! 

also, whenever i get my masterlist up (whenever that faithful day comes) i’ll put this under both spencer reid & derek morgan

“You’re trying to tell me you’ve never hooked up with a girl, not even once?” Derek Morgan asked his best friends, who was sitting across from him.

“No, Derek, not even once,” Spencer said, a little bored of this conversation.

“What about college?”

“I was 14 in college and barely hitting puberty, I wasn’t going to frat parties and doing keg stands!” He rolled his eyes.

“Oh. Right. Well, if you were to, would you know how to pleasure a girl?”

Spencer gave him a dumb stare, and Derek laughed. “Ok, that makes sense.”

He was silent, and Spencer finally turned back to the papers in front of him, until Morgan began talking again. He looked up, pleading with his eyes to end this discussion.

But Morgan wasn’t having it, “What if I were to teach you?”

“How would you do that?”

The man was deep in thought, his thick eyebrows furrowed together. “I might have an idea.”

The next day Morgan rushed into the BAU, and found Spencer at his desk like usual. He ruffled the younger man’s hair to get his attention. Spencer scowled at him. “It is way too early in the morning for this.”

“Pretty boy, I have got a solution for your problem.” He was grinning a little too widely for Spencer’s liking.

But Reid decided to humor him, “What?”


“Your girlfriend?”

“Yeah, I told her about what we were talking about yesterday, and-“

“You told Y/N about my sex life!” Spencer hissed quietly, careful not to attract the attention of nearby agents.

“I believe you mean drastic lack of one,” Derek replied. That made Spencer quiet, but still annoyed. “And she came up with an idea. I’ll be your teacher, and she’ll be your practice run, getting you ready, you know.”

Spencer was confused. Had Derek just told him to have sex with his girlfriend? “I…,”

Derek saw his obvious hesitation, and pulled up a chair to explain, “Y/N and I are in an open relationship.”

“How exactly does that work?” Spencer wondered. He had read books about polyamorous romances, knowing that having only one partner at a time hadn’t always been the cultural norm. But still, he knew it was different with every couple.

“We’ve classified it like this: we’re a committed couple who takes other lovers,” Derek answered. “It’s been going great for about the past year and a half.”

“I didn’t know that was something you were, uh, interested in.”

“I’ve always wanted to try it, but finding someone who is also willing to is difficult. So I took a chance with Y/N, and it luckily worked out well.” He smiled.

Spencer had met Y/N before, of course. She was stunning, and perfect for Derek. They had the same sense of humor, the same adventurous spirit, and apparently, the same interest in non-monogamy.

“So, about what I mentioned earlier… what do you think?”

Spencer hadn’t forgotten about that, and he was trying to calculate all the possibilities in his head. Sure, this might be a new experience, but he would still have to face Derek at work every day, and he wasn’t sure what that would be like.

“I know you’re worried, I can practically hear you thinking,” his friend joked. “Just think about it. But let me tell you: we usually don’t sleep with people we both know, so I was surprised when Y/N agreed. She almost seemed eager.” He laughed to himself.

Spencer’s eyes widened. If Y/N had been a girl in a bar, she would have been the kind approached by all guys; the kind that were daunting to him. He would have been the guy sitting alone and staring over at her every few minutes, attempting but failing to build up the courage to approach her.

So now that she might be interested in him, everything had changed.

He stopped Derek as he was walking back to his desk with his words, “I’ll do it.”

Derek turned around, “There you go, pretty boy. Trust me, it’ll be fun.”

Fun was not the word Spencer would use to describe his nerves right now, plentiful and stomach-tightening were more like that. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t looking forward to it.

Y/N sat in front of Spencer in nothing but a matching dark red lingerie set that contrasted beautifully with her caramel-colored skin. Derek had told him to come over straight over work, and now Spencer could feel his suit pants tightening where he sat.

Derek laughed when he saw how on edge his friend was. “Relax, kid. She doesn’t bite. Unless you’re into that.”

When he saw Spencer’s shock, he chuckled again, “I’m kidding. Sort of. We won’t do any of that today. It’s all pretty simple.”

“Ok, ok. I can handle that,” Spencer said more to himself than to Morgan.

“Right. So, do you know what eating a girl out is?”

“Um, I’ve never heard that term before,” he admitted.

“Ok, then, let’s go with…pleasuring a girl orally. First thing you’ve gotta do is take your time. Explore a little, take it slow around her thighs. Use your fingers before your tongue. Everyone likes it differently, but for the sake of today and this whole experiment, I’ll tell you that Y/N likes to be teased. Throw some playfulness in there, I know you have it in you.”

Spencer was making mental note of everything Derek said, trying to formulate a plan. It didn’t take him soon to realize that even if he had a plan, he would most certainly forget it when he was in between Y/N’s legs. These kinds of things were spontaneous; they had to be.

“Right. I’ll see you later.” Derek patted his shoulder and stood up to leave.

“What? That’s it?”

Morgan laughed a little, “Did you expect a lecture? It seems complicated, but you can’t think too much. It just kind of happens.”

That was what scared Spencer to death. His brain had always been something he could always count on, and now it wasn’t going to be much help.

Morgan closed the door to the bedroom behind him, and Spencer was now alone with Y/N, who was smiling. She stood up. “Before we do anything, we’ve got to level the playing field a little.”

“Level the field?” Spencer’s voice was meek as the gorgeous woman got closer to him.

“You’re fully dressed, handsome. That’s not fair.” She snaked her fingers around his tie, slipping it off his neck and throwing it to the floor. Spencer gulped as her fingers played with the top button of his shirt, and moved downwards until they were all undone and his chest was exposed.

Y/N couldn’t hide her surprise. She had always pictured Spencer to have a scrawny body. But he had a defined stomach and small abs. She pressed a kiss to his collar bone, basking in his unsuspecting reaction of a gasp.

The last thing she removed were his pants, moving the cotton fabric slowly down his legs. The two of them were now equally dressed, and she was impressed with what she saw. She had known this would be a good idea, despite Derek’s protests.

She moved a hand through his hair, leaning closer to whisper, “Relax.”

She heard him take a deep breath before placing his hands on her own waist. He seemed to finally realize what was happening, and made his first move, pushing her back onto the bed. She grinned at his budding dominance. Spencer took a submissive role in everyday life, and she liked to see him switch it up.

As the man pressed light kisses on the inside of her thighs, she began to feel the moisture between her legs. If she hadn’t known better, she would have guessed he was experienced.

The truth was, Spencer was feeling Y/N’s upper legs with his fingers, and every time he came to a fold in her smooth skin, he kissed it. He felt how wet she was, and it ignited something inside him, pushing him to surely pull her panties down, and release a hot breath at her entrance, causing her to tighten around him.

Spencer’s confidence was growing now, and he remembered what Morgan had said: use your fingers before your tongue. He slid one finger, and then another inside of Y/N, feeling around. Y/N was releasing a series of natural sounds out of her mouth, and with every one, Spencer became more prepared to start with his tongue.

He began softly, relaxing his tongue to make slow movements along her clit. He covered a wide area with his tongue, continuing with each groan that Y/N emitted. He now pointed his tongue, working his way up t faster movement, and keeping the pressure focused on the clit. She arched her back, and Spencer was rubbing his fingers sensually down her legs, simulating them even more to the point where they were wrapped tightly around his kneeling body.

“Fuck, Spencer,” she whimpered his name in a rasped voice. He had hardly noticed her tugging on his hair during the whole process, his mind focused on other things. He now spread her legs wider, and allowed his tongue to enter more forcefully.

Y/N gasped and was able to wind down when she came, experiencing the euphoria she hadn’t expected to receive today. She was pleasantly surprised, of course, as she slowly sat up and looked at the man in front of her, who was still nervous.

“You, my friend,” she breathed, “Are going to make a woman very happy one day.”

“I, uh. I’m not sure,” Spencer began with his usual stuttering.

“Oh no, you can’t be this way around me anymore, Spencer. You’ve eaten me out.”

The compliment she had given him had sparked a braveness he didn’t know he had. “Well, I’ve seen the most intimate part of your body, but you haven’t seen mine.”

She grinned, happy he was initiating things now.

“Then I guess I’ve got to make it up to you now.”

Colors -  Chibs Imagine

Concept: Chibs imagine based on the song Colors by Halsey

Taglist: @yourcroweater @soaimagines

Originally posted by thetelfordlasses

“So you’ll be okay on your own?” Your boss Gemma asked, her hand on your shoulder.  

“I think so. I mean, I can always call you if I’m stuck right?” You asked nervously. You had only been working at TM Motors for a week now and you were still learning.

“Of course darlin. You have my number. I’ll be back in a couple hours, should be quiet.” Gemma said before grabbing her purse and walking out the office door.

You swallowed hard and looked at the mountain of paperwork on your desk. You didn’t even know where to start. You needed a small break before you started your work so you stood up and walked over to the small window of your office. You leaned against it and watched the men in the garage, fixing the cars and messing around with each other. Your eyes searched for the one who always caught your eye. You saw him leaning against a busted up car, his blue jeans hugging his figure nicely. He ran a hand through his grey hair before lighting up a blunt, plumes of grey smoke falling from his mouth. He was far too old for your eighteen years but you couldn’t help yourself but to drool over the masterpiece of a man. You bit your lip hard as you watched him. Every move he made was like a motion picture. His lips wrapped tightly around the blunt and his throats contracted as he inhaled. You leaned forward more, trying to get a better glimpse. The door opened and shocked you, causing you to stumble and nearly fall. The person grabbed your arm and steadied you. It was Jax Teller, Gemma’s son and resident hottie. You found him gorgeous, but not as gorgeous as the man you knew as Chibs.

“Steady there darlin’.” Jax laughed, t your arm. “Did I scare you?”

“Startled more like it.” You chuckled.

“I’m about to head off for the day but I wanted to see you before I left.” Jax said, looking at you through his eyelashes. “We’re having a huge party here tonight and I think you should come. Lots of beer, lots of weed. You can be my company.” Jax winked.

“Jax I’m underage, you’ll get in trouble if the police come.” You sighed. You hated being eighteen.

Jax shrugged. “I’ve been in trouble for worse things. Make sure you’re here by eight.” Jax kissed your cheek and headed toward the door. “I might just introduce you to Chibs too.” He winked.

You flushed beat red and swatted Jax’s chest before he quickly left the office. Your heartbeat increased as you thought about the party tonight. You were excited and nervous and terrified all at the same time. You sat back down at your desk and started the paperwork. You wanted to get home and start getting ready as soon as possible.

You stood at the gate of TM Motors in the dark cold night. You could hear the jeering of people and the loud rock music blaring from the clubhouse where the guys hung out. You had never been in there but you had always wanted to. You decided to call Jax and get him to escort you inside so you didn’t get lost. You wore a black shirt dress with a deep V neck, platform black ankle boots and a black fedora. You felt incredibly overdressed but you also felt hot. You just wanted to impress. You dialled Jax’s number on your cellphone and he picked up immediately. He promised he was on his way and you hung up. You were lucky to have a friend like Jax. He was the reason you had the job at TM. Your friendship was a mixture of family and flirty and it kept you on your toes. You knew you could count on Jax. Jax met you at the gate and looped his arm through yours.

“You’re looking hot.” He said. “All dressed up for Chibs?”

“Can you please shut the fuck up?” You sighed. “Will you ever let it go?”

“No.” Jax laughed and shook his head. “The fact that you have a grandpa fetish is hilarious.”

“I do not have a grandpa fetish!” You yelled before slapping Jax’s chest.

“I’m going to introduce you to your dream man.” Jax chuckled with mischief.

You began to protest and fight as Jax dragged you towards Chibs. You felt embarrassed and scared and anxious. You weren’t good with new people, especially if you were attracted to them. Chibs was sitting alone on a picnic bench just outside the clubhouse, a blunt in his hands and his head turned to the floor.

“Chibby.” Jax spoke which grasped Chib’s attention.

“Jacky boy.” Chibs said with little enthusiasm in his Scottish accent. You may have melted a little when you realised he had an accent. Chibs was clearly sad and that made you curious. What was haunting the beautiful Scotsman in front of you.

“I realised I haven’t introduced you to our newest member of TM Motors. This is (Y/N), she’s working with mom in the office.” Jax let go of your arm and gestured to you.

Chibs outstretched his hand and you took it. You expected him to shake it but he brought your hand to his lips and pressed a gentle kiss to the surface, his deep eyes never leaving yours. Your insides began to quiver at his touch. “I’m Filip, but you can call me Chibs.”

I’ll also be calling you Daddy, you thought.

“I’m going to grab a beer, (Y/N), Chibs, you want anything?” Jax asked.

You shrugged. You never drank alcohol so you trusted Jax to surprise you. Jax winked at you before walking into the bustling party.

You took a seat next to Chibs on the picnic bench and tried your hardest not to drool at the man next to you.

“I’m sorry I haven’t introduced myself to you earlier.” Chibs said finally, breaking the silence.

“It’s alright. I’ve only been here a week. I’m holed up in the office most of the time anyway.” You explained.

Chibs lit up the blunt and inhaled deeply. You hated the smell of weed but you could put up with it to sit next to Chibs.

“Should’ve introduced myself to a pretty girl like you. Just haven’t noticed anything recently.” Chibs almost growled, blowing out the smoke. “You want a puff lass?”

You shook your head and scrunch up your nose. “Weed isn’t my thing.”

“How old are ye?” Chibs asked.

“Eighteen. I’ll be nineteen soon.” You smiled with pride.

Chibs coughed in shock. He thought you was at least twenty five. If you were older it wouldn’t be so creepy for him to want to fuck you. “Christ.” He shook his head. What was he going to do? “You’re more inexperienced than I thought.”

You were a little shocked at what he said. Was he implying that you were innocent and naive? Filled with courage and offence, you ripped the blunt from his fingers and inhaled deeply. You exhaled the smoke and hated the taste and held back the need to cough. You had to prove a point. Chibs watched you and licked his lips. Not only did he think you were gorgeous, but he loved how easily he could get a rise out of you. You were young and impressionable and easy to play with and in the depressive state that Chibs was in, he needed a girl like that. He could tell you had a huge crush on him and he wanted to use that to his advantage. Chibs shuffled closer to you, your leg touched his and you looked over to him, catching his eye.

“Feisty one aren’t ye?” He chuckled, taking the blunt from your hands and throwing it to the ground.

“I’m not a kid.” You said, almost in a way a child throwing a tantrum would. He was condescending but you kind of liked it.

“Oh love I know.” He chuckled again, his palm finding your exposed leg, stroking the soft skin of your thigh.

The weed and his unexpected touch was making your head swim. Your body reacted immediately to his touch, shuffling closer to him. Your breathing increased as you looked into his lust darkened stare. You shuddered as his hand moved further up your thigh, your hand flew out to grip the knee of his blue jeans. His hand moved from your thigh to your face and he held your jaw tightly.

“You’re an interesting one lass.” Chibs whispered.

You didn’t care if this man ripped you apart and left you for dead. You felt such a deep emotional and physical draw to him. It was as if his body radiated blue, he was sad and mysterious and deep and you were red, all passion and fire and desire. You wanted him to touch you, for the electric spark to pick back up.

“Kiss me Chibs.” You whispered, puckering your pillowy lips in anticipation.

He cocked you a half smile and pressed his lips forcefully onto yours. You gripped the back of his neck while his hands gripped your hips. You darted your tongue through his and he groaned into your mouth as you pulled his hair. He was surprised and incredibly aroused at your eagerness and fearlessness when it came to pleasure. He needed you, and he needed you now.

“Take this back to my place?” He whispered when he pulled away from the kiss.

You shook your head. “Mine.” You stood up and straightened your dress before walking away, making a spectacle of shaking your hips as you walked.

The next morning you woke up with the sunlight streaming through your window. You pried open your eyes to reveal the beautiful Scotsman by your side. You were sore and sweaty and a little sticky but you didn’t care. You were so happy that you could see this masterpiece next to you first thing in the morning. He was a vision. You felt incredibly connected and almost spiritual looking at his sleeping form beneath you. He looked peaceful and rested. You studied his ageing face and the scars that decorated the corners of his face. You knew he had stories to tell and you weren’t sure that you wanted to hear them. You felt him groan and stir awake. His hand moved from your naked torso to his face, rubbing his eyes. He looked at you and smiled a small smile before rubbing your arm.

“Mornin love.” He said in a croaky morning voice. “Thanks for last night.”

You shrugged and rolled back over to your pillow. “Thank you for last night.”

Chibs looked at you as you picked up your phone from your nightstand and scrolled through. He could notice the features on your face that showed your age. Freckles littered your skin, not a winkle or smile line touched your face. Your skin glowed with youth and was still incredibly soft, like baby skin. Chibs couldn’t deny that he liked you but he also couldn’t deny the fact that you were far too young for him. His own daughter was your age and he couldn’t fathom a man of his age touching her. Chibs felt disgusted in himself but you were blissfully unaware. You were still high from last night. You were surprised that Chibs was even attracted to you, let alone slept with you. It was a passionate and heated night that you wanted to happen every night. You fantasised about Chibs taking you on dates and buying you gifts and showing you off around the clubhouse as his girl. Chibs removed himself from your bed and began to get dressed. You sat up and watched him in confusion.

“Where are you going?” You asked, holding the sheets to cover your chest.

“I gotta go.” Chibs said simply, not making eye contact.

“Oh okay. Do you need me to drive you anywhere?” You offered, still very confused at Chib’s sudden change.

“Nah I’ll walk.” He wanted you to desperately stop talking. He felt guilty for treating you like this but it was for the best. He couldn’t get wrapped up in you, even if he wanted to. It felt so wrong.

“Are you going to tell me why you’re acting weird towards me?” You quizzed. You weren’t going to be treated like a hole to fuck. You were a person and he was going to treat you like one.

Chibs exhaled deeply. She was a challenge already. He turned to you and looked into your eyes. They were wild and innocent and angry. Everything you did reminded him of a pissed off toddler. “Last night was a mistake. I shouldn’t have slept with ye.”

That stung deeply. “Well that makes me feel amazing Filip.”

Chibs smacked his lips together. “(Y/N), you’re so fucking young. My daughter is your age. You probably just graduated high school for fuck sakes. I can’t let you get caught up in this shit.”

You swallowed hard. He was right but you didn’t want him to be. “Fine. So what? When I get to work on Monday we’re just going to act as if nothing ever happened? Act like strangers?”

Chibs nodded. “Just don’t go of your way to talk to me.” Chibs felt disgusting but he knew it was for the best. He did like you, but the age factor was killing him.

You chewed your lip in anger. “Fine. You’re a stranger in my home so get the fuck out before I call the cops.”

Chibs was enamoured by your passion and fire but he couldn’t do anything about it. He walked out of your room without another word and you buried your face into your pillow and cried.

Weeks dragged past and all you did was work and sit at home alone. Every time you saw Chibs your heart hurt. You felt incredibly disrespected by him and you felt stupid for thinking that you two could work. He was too old for you but you didn’t let that affect you. You really wanted him and you always get what you wanted. You had to stop Jax from killing Chibs after you told Jax everything that happened. Chibs tried his hardest to not look at you or think about you when you worked but it was hard. He would glance into the window of the office and watch you as you worked hard. He loved watching you. He felt guilty and horrible for fucking you and leaving you and he wanted to fix it but he just couldn’t. His morality spoke louder than his desire and for that he was grateful. It was a late night for you which was uncommon but you had a mountain of paperwork to get through. The sky outside was dark and all you had was the lamp to illuminate your work. You were the last one here and you were a little scared to be on this huge lot alone. You were startled when your office door opened. You clutched your chest and started breathing heavily in shock but you calmed down when you recognised the face as Chibs. Your shock turned into anger as he looked at you with sheepish eyes as he leaned against the door.

“Hey.” He nodded.

You folded your arms across your chest and looked at him coldly. You didn’t have time for this today. “What do you want?”

Chibs smacked his lips together and looked down at the floor. “I’m the last one here and I wanted to make sure ye be okay on your own.”

“I’m fine. I can look after myself. I’m not a kid.” You huffed. “See you tomorrow when you’ll no doubt ignore me again.”

He sighed deeply and walked toward you. He spun your desk chair to face him and he held the seat in place so you couldn’t move away. His face was dangerously close to yours. You could smell the tobacco on his breath. “Can you stop fucking punishing me please? It wasn’t like we were dating for two years, it was a one night stand.” Chibs didn’t care if he sounded heartless, he just wanted you to stop being a bitch to him.

You reached forward and slapped him across the face. You were hurt at his words. Maybe you were too young and naive but you thought that he liked you more than just a one night stand. Chibs blinked in shock.

“That was quite childish (Y/N).” Chibs almost taunted. He shouldn’t be playing with you but he loved your quick reactions and fiery temper.

“You’re a prick.” You hissed. “Get out of my office.” You were aroused at how close he was but you couldn’t let that control you. You had to stay strong and not let him break you down. He was playing you and you knew it but you just wanted him to touch you. You wanted to be in control, you wanted to win this battle.

“I’ve been here a lot longer than you lass. This is my territory, not yours.” He countered, his hand moving from the arm of the chair to your exposed thigh.

You crossed your legs and trapped his hand between your thighs. He looked at you in surprise and you cocked your eyebrow. Chibs smirked as he crawled his fingers up your thigh and into your panties. His fingers delicately moved through your folds.

“Wet already love? I haven’t even done anything yet.” He smirked and chuckled, his lips pressing softly to your cheek.

You scowled at the realisation that your body had betrayed you. You remained stone faced as his fingers continued to work through your core. It was difficult to keep a straight face but you succeeded.

“So you’re going to be like that are you?” Chibs scoffed, removing his fingers and standing up. “See ya lass.” He walked toward the door without a second glance.

You flung yourself out of your desk chair and grabbed him before he could open the door. You gripped his shoulders and slammed him against the wall. You stood on your tiptoes and smashed your lips to his. His hands gripped your hips and he groaned into your mouth as you ground yourself against his bulge. You bit his lip before dropping to your knees, unbuckling his belt and pulling down his jeans to expose his hard cock. You took it in your mouth immediately, working hard and furiously with your tongue and hand. He was quivering above you and you were enjoying every moment of control you had over him. Your tongue caressed every part of his length and your hand twisted furiously.

“I’m going to cum if you’re not careful.” Chibs spluttered out. You could feel his ragged breathing and his hand pulled at your hair desperately. You took him out of your mouth and stood back up, pressing kisses to his neck and biting down, leaving your mark.

“Bend over that desk right now.” Chibs demanded and you did as he told you.

You bent over the desk, pulling up your skirt and reveal your ass. You reached back and pulled your panties down. You felt Chibs’s hands roam your bare ass and hips. He loved the view that you gave him.

“Try and keep a straight face through this lass.” He whispered before slamming into you as hard as he could.

You squealed and gripped the edge of your desk. Your stomach clenched tightly and your eyes squeezed shut. You felt as if an earthquake had rippled its way through your body. Your breathing increased as you shimmied backwards, wanting him to fill you again. He began to thrust in and out of you, his pace rapid and his force powerful. You moaned and squealed with every stroke. Chibs pulled your hair and left fingerprints in your skin. The sex was angry and fiery and passionate. Chibs’s thrusts became sloppy and you knew he was close to releasing. You swirled your hips and moved yourself back and forth to guide him. He gripped your hips tightly as he released into you and you moaned and bit your lip in response. Once you both finished panting and started breathing normally again, you stood up and put on your panties and rolled down your skirt. You threw your hair into a messy bun and gathered all your things.

“Where are you going?” Chibs demanded, sitting down in your desk chair.

“You’re right Chibby. The age difference is just too much for me.” You sneered before walking out of the office, slamming the door behind you.

The New Girl (Jughead x Reader)

Summary: New girl takes a liking to Jughead and he takes a liking to her after seeing her stand up to Cheryl

Word Count: 1922

A/N: First time posting fan fiction, let me know what you guys think. Feedback and ideas are welcomed!

Originally posted by twelvevo

Today was your first day of high school and you were both excited and nervous. Yes, you were a sophomore but you had been home schooled your entire life. Your mom was extremely overprotective but she had finally agreed to let you attend public school.

You had seen schools on TV and in movies but you had never actually been inside of one. Until now. 

“I’m Betty Cooper and welcome to Riverdale High” said the blonde. She seemed really nice. So far so good, you thought.

You smile shyly, “I’m Y/F/N, Y/F/N Y/L/N.” You quickly look away, trying not to make too much eye contact. That would be weird, right? Yeah. You don’t want to make the wrong impression on your first day. 

Keep reading

The Recruit (Chapter 4) - Mitch Rapp

Author: @were-cheetah-stiles

Title: “Day 12″

Characters: Mitch Rapp, Stan Hurley, Rob Russells & Reader

Warnings: Slow burn, some more touchin’, cursing.. there will pretty much always be cursing.. I curse a lot, so now you as the reader will to. I’m. Not. Sorry.

Author’s Note: Another favorite chapter, this one was just fun to write..

Summary: Stan has the recruits create an undercover identity so that they can infiltrate a college reunion and convince the guests that they were also members of the graduating class. Mitch and Y/N have a moment. 

Additional Note: This is very, very, very loosely based on like an idea from an episode of Quantico. Loosely being the operative word.

Additional Additional Note: In the original story, this is not Mitch x Reader, it’s Mitch x OFC, and her name is Willa, so when Rob says “Will Petersen blah blah blah” that’s where that came from.

Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five

Originally posted by dylnsobrien

Stan stood in the front of the charter bus, his hands gripping the seats next to him, as he spoke to the recruits. “We’re going to be pulling up to the hotel ballroom in a few minutes. Just a reminder that going undercover is not going to be easy, and we will be stopping the people we see talking to you before they leave to see if they believed your cover story or not. Remember, College of William and Mary is a medium sized university. The graduating class of 2012 was about 2,100 people, so while it’s enough for you to get by, these people will probably be able to tell when they don’t recognize someone. If you don’t know your new identity backwards and forwards, tonight, you get punished back at the Barn. If you don’t know your undercover identity in the field, you get killed, so take this seriously. It’s not just a party with free booze. You’re all working.”

“Are we allowed to use each other to play off of our identities? No one ever goes to these things alone.” Rob asked, making a good point.

“That’s true, Russells. Most people would not show up to a five year college reunion alone, but I don’t advise this unless you know enough about someone else’s identity to not expose them as a fraud, and in doing that, yourself as a fraud.”

Mitch watched from behind, through the crack in between the seats as Rob turned to you and stuck out his hand for you to shake. “Nice to meet you, I’m Will, Will Peterson and I’m from New York City, and I speak three languages.” Rob grinned and Mitch smirked, and snickered to himself.

You stared at Rob with a deadpan expression, and left his hand still floating in the air. “……you stole my identity and made me a man?” Rob nodded, vigorously grinning. You rolled your eyes, and huffed, finally flimsily shaking Rob’s hand. “Fine. I’m Maggie Sheffield and I’m from Portland, Oregon. I swear, I think I once sat next to you at a football game at Zable Stadium." 

"This is going to be awesome.” Rob was overly excited.

Keep reading

fake!married yousana (because I’m a sucker for that trope and needed that with Yousef and Sana)- set sometime in the relatively near future

and I got a little carried away so there’s that


S.O.S. Come ASAP” and an address added to the message.

That is what Elias has sent both Yousef and Sana. Both of them immediately left to go to the given address. Sana was about to leave the Uni when the text arrived her and Yousef was chilling at home; it was his free day after all. Neither of them is aware that they took the same train to get to Elias until they leave the train at the same station.

“Sana?”, Yousef shouts after her because she is walking a few meters in front of him. She quickly turns around and as soon as she sees Yousef her frown turns into a small smile. Yousef jogs up to her and asks if she’s also going to see Elias. She just nods and they start walking side by side. For a while they walk in silence until Sana gathers the strength to ask Yousef something that wouldn’t let her go the whole way there.

“Do you think he’s in trouble?” Yousef quickly looks at Sana and his gaze falls on the worry line between her eyebrows. As always when he sees it, he wants to reach out and straighten that worry line out. But he knows now is not the time.

To lighten the mood he shakes his head as if he was a hundred percent sure and answers: “No, he probably just got stuck in a revolving door and can’t get out.” This makes Sana laugh out loud and she rolls her eyes but keeps looking at Yousef while they walk in a pretty fast pace.

“You do know that he actually got stuck in a revolving door when we were younger, right?”, she asks him obviously very amused recalling the memory and forgetting that Elias may as well be in actual trouble now. But that’s not something either Sana or Yousef want to believe until they arrive and meet Elias.

Yousef nods and laughs when imagining a small Elias get stuck in a revolving door: “Yeah, you told me once and it’s still the funniest thing I can imagine.”

They turn around a corner and both sets of eyes fall on Elias. He’s standing outside of a house, leaning on the wall and is preoccupied with his phone. He doesn’t look stressed or in trouble at all. While Sana is relieved, she’s also wondering why the hell her brother would send her a text like that when everything is fine.

“Elias?”, she says. Yousef and her are still a few meters away but Elias hears his sister and looks up from his phone to grin at her. Sana narrows her eyes at him. She feels like she worried too much and there is nothing wrong at all. Yousef next to her just looks at his best friend and waits for him to say something.

Elias puts his phone in the pocket of his jeans and smiles at his sister and best friend. “Good, you’re here and you came together, perfect.”

“We met on the train.”, Sana says unfazed and keeps looking at her brother, obviously waiting for an explanation. “What is the emergency? We rushed here as fast as possible.”

Elias looks at the two people standing in front of him and grins guiltily. Yousef and Sana look at each other, thinking the same thing. Should we just turn around and go? Elias doesn’t know what they are thinking exactly but he can imagine. It’s the worst when the two of them team up against him.

“Nothing bad, I promise.”, Elias smiles at them broadly and hopes it influences them to listen before they decide to leave. “Well, I decided to move out, now that I’m a responsible adult with a good job.” Sana and Yousef roll their eyes at the same time and even Elias knows how funny that sounds. Sure, he is an adult and he has a good job but responsible? Most of the time he still doesn’t know what he’s doing. Being an adult is hard, man.

“Great. You’re moving out, we knew you thought about this but why am I here right now?”, Sana says. She loves her brother but she had a very very long day. Before she got the text from Elias she had planned on going home and just watching a movie and going to bed after that.

“Because you love me.”, Elias exclaims and notices that Sana tries to hide her smile but he knows her too well to not see her lips quirk up.

Finally Yousef decides to contribute something to the conversation to get an answer: “Elias, tell us what you need from us, please.”

“Alright, alright. But I need you to promise me that you won’t say No without hearing me out, okay?”

“You’re not making this easier for yourself. Just tell us.”, Yousef says and puts his hands into the pockets of his jacket. He knows Elias for many years now but sometimes he doesn’t know why he decided to befriend him at all. He’s glad he did but he wonders sometimes. “We’re already here, aren’t we?”

Yousef looks at Sana, who looks from Elias to Yousef and just nods. She seems tired. Yousef didn’t notice before because she seemed so worried but now that that is cleared up, it’s more obvious.

“Okay. The thing is: I found this flat on the Internet and it’s perfect for me. It’s small but I don’t need too much space, I’m alone anyway.”

Yousef pats Elias’ shoulder and overdramatically says: “Aww, Elias. You’re not alone, you have us.” Sana laughs quietly but Elias just rolls his eyes and says: “Dude, shut up. Let me explain.”

“Like I said before I was rudely interrupted..”, Elias glares at Yousef who just shrugs, “It seems perfect for me. But the estate agent prioritises newly-wed couples to look at the flat. So I made an appointment for you two and thought that during the tour of the flat you could drop hints that the flat wouldn’t fit you but rather me. That way I would already have introduced myself to the estate agent and made a good impression and maybe she’d consider renting to me.”

Elias explains his plan as if it was the most normal thing to do when trying to rent a new place. Sana looks at him with her eyebrows raised and the most sceptical look Elias has seen from her in a while. “You’re unbelievable, Elias. I thought something bad had happened and then it’s just this stupid plan.”

“Hey, my plan is not stupid. I’m sure it will work.”, Elias defends his plan and looks at Sana and Yousef with the most hopeful puppy-eyed look he can give them.

Yousef thinks it’s important to mention one thing: “You seem to forget that we’re not married.”, and points to Sana. His eyes are drawn back to her and he catches her watching him talk. But she doesn’t look away as if she didn’t look in the first place. Yousef knows they are over that.

Elias laughs and shrugs: “The estate agent doesn’t need to know that.”

“Why didn’t you ask Jamilla and Yasin (my name for the eldest Bakkoush sibling)? They are actually married and would play along, I’m sure.” Sana can’t help but to throw that into the conversation. Elias’ plan seems very flawed and she is a little annoyed that he send her an ominous text message that made her worry more than it was necessary.

Elias looks at is phone and then up at the two people standing in front of him who he hopes will help him. “They’re not newly-wed and they wouldn’t play along like you two can.” Elias thinks to himself that Sana and Yousef act like they are a married couple most of the time. Elias is not exactly sure what it is that is going on between them but it’s more than them being just friends. They never were just friends and Elias knows that. “You’re even dressed perfectly for this.” Confused about this, Sana and Yousef first look down at themselves and then at the other. And Elias is right. Sana is wearing a long army green blouse with black jeans and Yousef is wearing arm green pants and a black Hoodie. They both have their hoods up. After they’re done inspecting themselves and the other, their eyes meet and for a few seconds they just look at each other smilingly.

Elias’ eyes fall on the display of his phone one more time and when he looks up again, he sees the estate agent walk towards them, from where Sana and Yousef came before. Elias quickly looks at his sister and best friend and whisper-shouts: “She’s coming right now. Behind you. Please play along. Please, please, please. Love you both.”, and smiles at them before the estate agents arrives to stand next to them. She asks if one the three is Yousef Acar. Yousef sends one more look towards his best friend and then looks at Sana to see if she’s okay with this. She just nods at him and he raises his hand lightly.

The estate agent introduces herself and then leads the way to the flat. Elias walks behind her, a little too eager for his plan of first acting like this wouldn’t be his flat. Lastly Sana and Yousef walk through the door. Yousef looks at Sana who smiles lightly and laughs about the eagerness of her brother. She’s wearing a light pink hijab he has not seen her wearing for a while but appreciates how it suits her.

Yousef bumps his shoulder lightly into hers which makes her look at him. Grinning he tells her: “At least he’s not stuck in a revolving door.”

Sana laughs about that and nods but doesn’t get the chance to reply because Elias, who is a few steps ahead of them, turns around and glares at them: “Are you gossiping about me again?”

“We didn’t say your name.”, Yousef says at the same time Sana says, “That’s the least you owe us right now.”

Before they enter the flat, which is on the third floor, Yousef and Sana stop for a second and look at each as if to say What did Elias get us into? It’s too late to back down now. Yousef holds his hand up, for Sana to take it if she wants to. They’re supposed to be a newly-wed couple and those are usually very in love. It won’t be hard for Yousef to ‘act’ like that. He’s not sure what it is that Sana and him have, but it’s definitely going in the right direction of what he hoped for a long time. He has been hanging out with Sana quite a lot. Sometimes it felt like a date when they hung out, sometimes not at all but it felt good all the time. Sana looks from his hand to him and then takes his hand and intertwines their fingers together. Yousef bites on his lip to not grin too much but the look Sana gives him makes it very hard. She’s smiling, showing her dimples but then pressing her lips together. Yousef’s eyes follow that movement.

Sana says: “Well, it’s not Elias stuck in a door but this can be a lot of fun.” Yousef agrees. He definitely agrees. Acting like he’s married to Sana doesn’t sound bad at all.

The flat has a bedroom, a living room, a small kitchen and a bathroom. The first room they go into is the kitchen. The estate agent talks about how great this kitchen is because whoever moves in can keep everything that’s already in here. The stove, fridge, and all that.

Sana and Yousef are supposed to make Elias look like the best possible tenant. They can do that. They’re still holding hands and Sana leans a little bit more into Yousef’s side, when she goes to answer the estate agent’s question of how they like the kitchen.

“It’s nice. It is. But maybe a little small for us.”, she looks up to Yousef and smiles at him before looking back at the estate agent: “This one likes to cook a lot. And for many people. So I’m not sure if this kitchen would be ideal for us. Right?” She looks at Yousef again who couldn’t keep his eyes off of her while she was talking. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts but then quickly nods.

“Yeah, my wife is right.”, Sana’s head turns really quickly to Yousef and she looks surprised and blushes. Elias notices that but all the estate agents sees is a happy couple. Yousef is very aware of Sana’s presence next to him, by his side, and to not dwell on it too much he continues talking: “This kitchen would be perfect for someone that cooks after work, for just themselves and maybe one or two friends. Like Elias for example.” Yousef points in the direction of Elias who conveniently is smiling at the estate agent. Even when she introduced herself she seemed more interested in Elias than the 'actual couple’.

“Then let’s go the next room. Hopefully that will fit better to your needs.”

The estate agents leaves the room first, and Elias after her. But before he leaves, he turns around and shows the couple two thumbs up and grins at them. He really thinks this plan will work out.

“On to the next room.”, Sana says smiling and leads the way but doesn’t let go of Yousef’s hand.

The next room is the bedroom. It is not too big either and Sana wonders why the estate agent would look for newly-weds to rent this place. There’s barely room for one closet in here, let alone two. They look at the room, Elias again a little more interested than Yousef and Sana. In fact, Yousef’s eyes keep finding Sana, their hands still intertwined and once in a while at Elias to see how he’s doing and what he’s looking at.
When they’re asked what they think of this room, Yousef waits for Sana to answer but she waits for him. So Yousef tries to think of anything to say. A reason why this wouldn’t work. But he can’t come up with anything. That’s why he says what he says next.

“I don’t really care much about the bedroom, so I’ll let you answer this one, babe.” At this both Bakkoush siblings in the room turn to look at Yousef but Yousef tries not to let it faze him. Sana on the other hand wasn’t prepared for him to call her Babe and is overwhelmed for a second. She gulps but turns to the estate agent and smiles at her while answering.

“To me, this is too small, I think. I noticed that a big bed plus two wardrobes wouldn’t fit in here.”, Sana says. “This is better for someone that lives alone, I think.”

Yousef, who forgets the act for a second, asks Sana: “Would we need two wardrobes though?” Elias widens his eyes at him to indicate that he shouldn’t look for anything that would make the estate agent think that they are interested. But Yousef doesn’t even realize that.

Sana raises her eyebrows and laughs. “Eh, yes! Definitely! You have so many shoes that those alone need so much space.”, she looks at the estate agent and without noticing what she does, leans more into Yousef. She’s holding his right hand with her left one and puts her right hand on his upper arm: “This one has a lot more shoes than I have and he looks after them really carefully, it’s crazy actually.”

“Hey.”, Yousef defends himself, “I don’t have that many shoes. And not too many pairs more than you have.”

Now it’s Sana’s turn to look offended. “Oh, please. I can assure you, if we went now to count them, you’d have more.”

While Yousef and Sana are bickering back and forth, the estate agent is watching them with an amused smile. All she thinks about these two is that they are such a good fit for each other. Elias uses the opportunity to make himself more sympathetic to the estate agent and comments with a nice smile: “They both have huge sneakers collections. Probably the same amount but none of them would admit that.”

And after looking at the bathroom quickly, the last room left is the living room. It is quite nice actually. Sana can see her brother living here. But not herself. Elias did really inform himself well and found a fitting flat for himself and now Sana hopes that this stupid plan will work out for him.

The living room has two big windows but rather low ceilings. She looks around for a bit, observes Elias’ reaction to the room and finally looks at Yousef who looks at her brother. He has been by her side the whole time since they stepped into the flat. Absentmindedly he strokes the back of Sana’s hand with his thumb which makes Sana smile involuntarily. From the corner of his eye, Yousef sees Sana look at him and meets her gaze. The thing in that very moment that makes him so happy is that usually both of them try to hide how much they like, no scratch that, love each other when other people are around. It makes them both, but Sana more, uncomfortable.  However, when they are alone or not being watched it’s completely different and they almost communicate with their eyes. And right now, right now they don’t need nor want to hide any of the feelings because at this very moment it’s wanted and necessary because of Elias’ maybe-not-so-stupid plan.

Yousef and Sana’s little private bubble bursts when the estate agent speaks up. She gave them a few minutes to look at the room even when there is not much to look at because it is an empty room.

“Before you tell me what you think of the living room, would you mind if I asked you something private?”, she doesn’t even wait for an answer and continues to talk, “Well, you two are the cutest couple I’ve seen in a while. You’re obviously so in love. Can I ask how you proposed? And who? I’m imagining it to be something very special.”

Proposing? Elias, who was chill the whole time and let the other two answer the questions, looked a little stressed out about this question. It’s a good thing he is standing behind the estate agent so that she can’t see his panicked face. Sana does though and tries not to react to it. Instead Sana tries to casually answer. She racks her brain for a good answer and then decides to say: “Well, I didn’t want to wait around until he asked me. So I was preparing something but he did propose to me first, didn’t you? Do you want to tell the story?” Now she looks up at Yousef again who is already looking at her. At the other end of the room Elias is just watching them navigate through the conversation. He thinks that they are doing better than he had imagined but he had hoped they would do well. They were the first two people that came to his mind as soon as he thought of this plan.

While he reacted to most of the questions as if he wasn’t sure how to answer, Yousef had a really good answer really fast. Like he didn’t even need to think about it.

“I did, yes. I knew that Sana deserved something better than just me getting on one knee and asking her to marry me.”, while saying that Yousef can’t look at anyone but Sana. He is supposed to talk to the estate agent but what he’s thinking about doesn’t allow him that. But he gets a grip on himself and looks at the estate agent to continue the made-up story. Usually it’s Sana that has most control over how she reacts to things and how she presents herself but in that moment she couldn’t do anything but look at Yousef.

“I got my friends, including Sana’s brother over there..”, Yousef nods in Elias’ direction and the estate agent looks over her shoulder to look at Elias for a second. “… to learn a choreography with me. I danced for almost my whole life now and the Sana caught me dancing once when we first started talking so I thought it was appropriate. We surprised her at one of her Basketball games, when she and her team came back from the break.”

While the estate agent looks really moved, she clutches her hand over her heart and smiles very broadly and seems at loss for words for a while. Sana is at loss for words too. Yes, it is a made-up story but he talked about it so quickly without thinking much about it, it amazed Sana. Imagining that really happening makes Sana want to almost cry because it is such a cute idea and she realizes she needs to get a grip on herself immediately. That doesn’t hinder her to unconsciously lean into Yousef’s side and him realizing it. After explaining  the plan, which is of course only a made-up story, for now, Yousef seems a little bit bashful and looks down on the floor before being able to look anyone in the room in the eyes. It’s quiet for a few moments until the estate agent exclaims how nice of an idea that was and if they had a video of that on their phones with them. After they told her no they didn’t she asks about the room.

Without hesitating Yousef takes the questions now: “I’m really sorry but I think that wouldn’t work. Combined we have a lot of books and DVD’s that we would need to put in a tall shelf and we both have big families we would invite over all the time, so I think this wouldn’t work for us.” He looks over at Elias now and says: “But this flat would be perfect for someone who is not married yet and doesn’t need as much space as we would.”, when saying we he lifts Sana’s and his intertwined hands.

Now Sana casually contributes to the conversation, acting like she just remembered something: “Elias, didn’t you want to move soon? Wouldn’t a place like this be perfect for you?”

With that Elias and the estate agent begin to talk, this time not about Sana and Yousef but about the possibility that Elias could rent this flat. While they do that Sana and Yousef decide to leave and wait outside. They go down the stairs, still hand in hand, both not noticing because it feels so natural. Once they stand outside, they let go but stand in front of each other. Smiling and looking at each other for two minutes without saying anything verbally.

All the tiredness Sana felt before coming here is gone, she feels really good. Yousef who wasn’t up to doing much on his day off, after a stressful few days feels like he could go on a run or climb a tree.
Instead he asks Sana: “You came here directly from the University, right?” She nods.

“Want to go eat something together?”, Yousef asks. Sana nods again. She looks up to the window of the flat they just looked at and then starts to say something to Yousef but gets interrupted by her phone. She reads the text she just got and smiles a little about it.

Sana looks into Yousef’s eyes and says: “That was Elias. He said that we can go without him.”

Yousef grins at her. He wouldn’t have minded having Elias with them, he is his best friend after all. But spending time alone with Sana is something completely different. “Then let’s go.” Sana falls in step next to Yousef; they walk down the street closer than they walked on the way there. So close that their hands brush against each other once or twice.

“I still would’ve loved seeing Elias stuck in a revolving door.”, Sana comments out of nowhere and makes Yousef laugh. He laughs so loud that an elderly couple in front of them turns around to look at them. But they don’t look annoyed; they just smile at Sana and Yousef.

“Me too.”, Yousef says. His gaze falls down onto Sana’s hand in his and he says: “But I’m happy about how all this turned out.”

Sana and Yousef look at each other, Sana looks at Yousef’s hand she took a few moments ago and then into Yousef’s eyes again.

“I’m pretty happy about this, too.“

anonymous asked:

couldn't watch the live what happened? and thanks for existing you are awesome.

  • dan got a new webcam and spent several minutes playing with the color and brightness settings and settled on one where it looks like his piano is just transcending to another dimension bc of the amount of white light it is emitting 
  • he gave a very long and beautifully articulated little ramble about the manchester attack, making the charity shirt, and why the city matters so much to him and phil. he mentioned it was phil’s home and the place he grew up, the place dan went to uni, and the place ‘dan and phil’ began. he also very briefly touched on some of the criticisms that have been raised. to those who thought it was inappropriate for dnp to put themselves on the shirt or make the shirt at all, he politely asserted that they must be people who don’t understand what the city means to him and phil, and the connection they have to it. to those who argued they’re trying to make themselves look good, he kind of jst said ‘obviously not,’ and touched on a very interesting philosophical point about altruism and how it is bullshit to expect kindness and charity to be performed in a sort of emotional vacuum where the benefactor feels nothing and isn’t allowed to be happy that they’ve done something helpful. to those who criticize them for only doing something for a western tragedy when attacks like this happen so often elsewhere in the world, he thinks that is valid criticism and that’s why he feels like supporting the red cross is so good bc they help people all over the world. i was vibing a lot with this discussion and i very much appreciate dan in his calm and gentle states like the one he exhibited here
  • someone interrupted this whole discussion to say ‘phil and i’ though which caused him to consider changing the channel name from danisnotinteresting to pHiL aNd I (in reference to the spongebob meme)
  • phil was gone for two days last week so dan decided to jog for an hour while listening to a political podcast bc he was bored and also he’s an idiot who apparently thinks “cardio” doesn’t use muscles and therefore he wouldn’t be sore if he did this, but lo and behold he was in acute pain the next day and was basically rendered immobile for four days. the saga of dysfunctional dan whenever phil isn’t around continues 
  • he and phil and some pals played dungeons and dragons which for those who don’t know is apparently the nerdiest possible game anyone can play and it involves role playing and designing your own characters. dan’s character was an elf prince or some shit who is basically oppressed by his father and the many rules of their household or something so he runs away to get some life experiences and also he has a completely useless right hand. phil wanted to be magical so he decided to be a mage called shazeem? or something like that? i forgot. and he had a weird eye. idk. they’re weird
  • dan’s grandparents came to stay this past weekend and they arrived an hour earlier than planned which sent dan into a scramble to clean and polish every surface of their house and also order lunch and basically have a breakdown lmao and also his grandma is apparently the most adorable person on the planet and baked them a crumble which she dropped on the train, as well as buying an oreo cheesecake but she didn’t know what oreos were so she pronounced it o-RAY-oh and dan was briefly under the impression she’d brought them a fancy french pastry. cute. also very likely the bbq phil tweeted about was for them. and this happened like a week after returning from the lester family vacay so clearly family’s been the dominant part of the past month for them and i wanna die
  • graphic design is dan’s passion. he rambled more about the trials and tribulations of needing to define yourself by a font. relatedly he emphasized that his rebrand doesn’t mean he’s ditching wearing black and being bleak and having crises–if anything those are the things that define him the most. i think this is in line with what we’ve heard from him a lot this year about like,,, not knowing what he’s about on youtube rn and feeling a bit lost. 
  • he owns pastel pajamas 
  • he wished everyone happy pride and said “love yourself” 
  • he has slowly made the house look like, vvv aesthetic. to that end, he has at least 10 succulents that are all alive did you hear that phil 
  • at his all boys’ school, the culture was such that on the day everyone got painful TB injections people would wait around just to punch each other on the arms bc they knew it hurt 
  • his nipples were almost out when he was walking down the street in his vetements hoodie and got caught in a wind tunnel
  • he would wear a dress in theory but is still in practice constrained by social/gender norms 
  • introverted dan wanted to do nothing for his bday whatsoever and stay inside but he was talked into going out to dinner. so he’s doing that on sunday
  • someone said it was their 4 month anniversary w their girlfriend and he congratulated them and then asked how they feel, if it’s good/exciting or like, terrifying, bc it can be terrifying, sounding very much like he wanted to relate to the feeling of being in a new relationship from his own experience. given that we almost never hear him talk about anything to do w relationships from his own perspective anymore, i thought that was p cool
  • new gaming video tomorrow–a game for the switch called ‘arms’ where they almost punch each other 
  • phil is downstairs
  • don’t listen to his summary of nihilism it is. tragic

(dan live show: ‘‘daniel’ = deep dark and dank’ - 6.06.17)