“Nobody can ever know I was here.” He murmured quietly, brushing his hand along your cheek. His hand was always freezing, but you didn’t hesitate to lean into it. Whenever he touched you, an electrifying buzz ran through your body.
“No one will know, I promise-” you tried to put a name on his face, but you suddenly felt hazy. Your eyelids drooped, and your vision became distorted. He pulled his hand away, leaning back against the wall and watching you.
“D-don’t leave me. I don’t want to forget you-” you choked out, at a sudden loss for breath. His face was shaded in the darkness, but you could still make out the hood masking his silhouetted face. Every time you blinked, your surroundings grew into a blur more than anything else, and you reached for him.
“I’m sorry, it has to be this way. I’ll see you again.”
“No, no!” He sounded farther away now, and as you tried to lean on him, you fell. You kept falling, even though you should’ve hit the floor now. No longer could you see anything but blackness, but you could feel the air whip around your face, you could feel your stomach coil in shock as you never stopped falling…-
Your eyes snapped open in utter darkness. Gasping for breath, you sat up in your bed. Another dream. No, another nightmare.
It was the third time this week, and there’d only been three days in total so far. What was going on with you? You had no idea.
It went the same every night. You could never remember what the nightmare was, but for some reason you always felt lonely whenever you woke up. What nightmare sent you flinging yourself awake and feeling the need to hold someone close to you? It was so unusual to think that perhaps this nightmare wasn’t so scary after all…
Besides the fact you were practically dripping with sweat, the temperature outside was so cold. The last time you checked, you didn’t keep your heat cranked high enough to cook you like a turkey.
Your mind was buzzing even after you got up to get a drink. For some reason your nerves sent you jumping at every flicker of the dim kitchen light. You placed the empty cup on the counter, before leaning your head back.
The top of your head hit something, and you immediately froze.
“Don’t scream.” A voice whispered, and a chill ran down your spine.
“I just told you not to scream, why don’t you ever listen to me?” The voice hissed, and he placed a gloved hand over your mouth to silence you.
“I won’t hurt you.” He said once you were quiet, and he let go. You backed up against the fridge, and he watched you the whole time.
“How did you get into my house?” You choked out, looking at him. Wait…he looked so familiar. You couldn’t place a finger on it, but you’d seen him somewhere before. Did he follow you home from the store yesterday?
“You let me in. Do you really not remember, yet?”
“I didn’t let you in! Are you insane?” You snapped. You were shaking, now. The stranger had a hood concealing his face, and this whole scenario seemed very familiar to you for some reason. Why couldn’t you remember?
“(Y/N) I was in your dream not even 7 minutes ago. No, wait. It was only about 5 minutes and 43, 44, 45…seconds ago? Mm, I kept track.”
You said nothing, feeling a sudden dizzy feeling that made you want to retch. Was he a psycho? He was going to kill you, wasn’t he?
“Stop thinking those things, you’re giving me a headache. Do you have beer? Let’s watch a movie, my next shift is pretty soon. Poor old lady is next to go, down at the hospital.” He kept muttering on about things that made you sense, and you couldn’t help but feel a certain amount of fear subside in you. He raked the hood from his head, revealing a pale face with even paler hair.
“If you’re not here to steal my things, or kill me…why are you here?”
He rolled his eyes at your words, as if the truth was just as obvious as who stole the cookie from the cookie jar. “I just asked for a beer, (Y/N). Can’t we hang out?”
“I have no idea who you are, why would I give you my beer and hang out with you?”
His hand slammed against the fridge beside your face, and you froze again. Slowly, the intruder dropped his head towards you, staring directly into your eyes.
“Why don’t you remember? You usually remember by now…Strange.” His voice was smooth, but sullen as well. His eyes drooped slightly, as if he hadn’t slept in, well…forever.
“I don’t k-know…” You whispered, turning your head away from him.
“Should we kiss? Would that make you remember? Sleeping beauty.” A grin formed on his lips, and you picked up a hand to slap him. He was quicker, though, and his hand shoved yours against the fridge.
“You can’t touch me, (Y/N). I know you want too, but you can’t. Not right now, while I’m still in my work skin for another 45 seconds.”
Work skin for another 45 seconds? He was insane.
“You’re touching me! I definitely do not want to touch you. Get out of my house before-”
“Before what? You call the police on me? Police can’t catch an invisible man.” He grinned, making your hand form into a tight fist.
You snickered, feeling irritated. “I doubt you can run that fast.”
“I don’t have to run.” He began to say, before you raised your knee into his middle as hard as you could. The man didn’t move at all, and you began to struggle again.
“I thought you’d remember me by now. Why is love so difficult? I have to go pick up that soul, but I don’t want to leave you alone.”
“Pick up a soul? You should definitely go do that instead of being with me…”
“(Y/N), that’s not very funny. I’ve been alive for at least a million years, and I can definitely say that’s my least favorite joke.”
“Can you let go of me?” You were struggling again, and the man finally let go. He stood in front of you, though, giving you no access to get out of the kitchen.
“Are you not even curious to what my job is?” He pouted slightly, crossing his arms tightly across his chest.
“Glad to hear, most people aren’t! I’m the grim reaper.”
“Aren’t you supposed to be holding a scythe, or maybe…not be real at all?” You whispered, feeling about read to laugh at this guy. Even though he looked very capable of picking up the knife that just so happened to be placed conveniently on your counter, he decided to ignore it and watch you.
“Do you really believe that? Wouldn’t it hurt to have your soul harvested with a scythe? That’s why if you touch me, you die.”
“Are you finally starting to remember, princess?” His grin was wide, which sent a chill running through your body. For some reason, everything was falling into place. His black jeans, black pull over sweater, converse and even the leather gloves. Everything was falling back into place, now.
“Oh, you are remembering! Do you know how many soul’s I’ve missed harvesting in this time frame? About 107 people die every minute. 107 times what, 15 minutes? 1605 people’s souls are still trapped in this world instead of moving on peacefully. That’s so dangerous, you know? You’re such a bad girl for making the grim reaper fail at his own job.”
“Your awfully…under dressed for being a dead person.”
“Oh, I’m not dead. I’m just another person, like you, or your next door neighbor that always harasses you. He’s got about 3 years left, but that’s not my business, yet. Anyway, I think I could probably miss harvesting another 963 souls, if you get what I mean.”
You did get what he meant. “Why do you keep visiting me in my dreams?”
“You were supposed to die, you know. When you were 7, when that truck almost crushed you against a tree. Oh, don’t forget about when you were 13. That time you fell out your friend’s window when you were trying to hide from his parents. What about when you turned 18? Man, what an iconic scene. Isn’t it awkward when your own boyfriend stabs you in the left abdomen? You’ve escaped death a lot, sweetie. Haven’t you ever wondered why? How people seemed to be in the perfect place while you bled, or how that kid pushed you out of the way of the truck? Where was he even standing before?”
Those things had got you thinking, before. So many times in your life, you’d escaped death. So many times, you’d almost died. How did he know those things, anyway? Your memory was slowly coming back, and you weren’t sure if you should be afraid or absolutely smitten with what he was saying.
“It was always me. I don’t always save every pretty little girl I see. I just thought ‘wow, I would love ruling hell with you everyday.’”
“I was 7.”
“You’re still in the womb, if you compare yourself to how old I am.” He stepped forward, and this time you didn’t move at all.
“Do you remember that boy’s name, yet? What about the police man that found you bleeding in your apartment? Or that college kid that caught you when you fell from the window?”
“Namjoon.” You remembered immediately, and he clapped his hands in satisfaction.
“That’s 2641 soul’s, now. Do you have any idea why I might be here?”
“Am I going to die?” You whispered, suddenly horrified.
He laughed, shaking his head. “Not today. I can’t tell you when, either, or something bad will probably happen. I don’t know. Guess again.”
“Are you going to save me from dying?”
“Bingo. We’ve gone through this 4 times, now. I’ll never get tired of saving you from dying. You should probably hide in the closet or something, because some guy just came through your bedroom window with the intent to steal everything valuable here and kill anyone in his path. Don’t take it personally, though. He’s bankrupt and his wife is cheating. It’s not your fault.”
“What did you jus-” Your voice was cut off by the quiet creaking of your bedroom door down the hall, and you took two steps forward and into Namjoon’s grip. He smirked at you, before patting your hair comfortingly.
“Be right back. Close your eyes, you might get scared at what I’m about to do to this poor soul. Get it? He’s bankru… okay I’m going.”
You closed your eyes tightly, and heard as Namjoon began to walk from your kitchen to your hall.
“Come on, why this house? Don’t you know a college student doesn’t have anything expensive besides their books? Her last pair of shoes costed 15 dollars. Why didn’t you go find a second job?” Namjoon spoke up, which made you open your eyes. You could see him when you peeked past the fridge. His back was turned to you, but you saw the man there. He was holding a knife, that was already bloody.
A soul Namjoon was supposed to harvest, perhaps?
The man swung his knife at Namjoon, and you gasped while watching him easily move away from it. His eyes met yours for a split second, and he shook his head before turning back towards the man that had broken in.
“I told you to keep your eyes closed. You never listen to me.”
He didn’t give you time to process anything, before taking hold of the man’s neck and shoving him against the wall. Namjoon held the man at least a foot off the ground, and stared him in the eyes.
“Last chance to close your eyes, before I let him kill you.”
You shut your eyes, and only heard a blood curdling scream, and then silence.
Gloved hands touched you, brushing against your face. You opened your eyes.
“Go back into the kitchen. I’ll clean him up later.” He murmured, gently pushing you backwards. You didn’t want to see the body of the man, and you didn’t want to know that he was no longer living.
“What happens if I touch your skin?”
“You? Nothing. I only take your soul if I want too, which I don’t.” He answered simply, leaning you up against the counter.
“But, in the dreams…”
“It’s to wake you up. I get too ahead of myself. I can’t keep you dreaming forever, can I?”
“3317…What is it?” He was still counting.
“Why don’t you want to take my soul?” Your voice was merely a whisper, and it cracked in at least 3 places. You knew the answer, but at the same time you didn’t really know the answer.
“I love you, I guess.”
“What’s the real reason?”
A sigh. “If I take your soul, I’ll probably never find it again.”
“You said something about telling me something 4 times, now? Does that mean I forget you every time I almost die? Am I going to forget you?”
“I’d rather have you forget me every time I saved you over me never being able to find your soul again.” He was being mysterious, and it made you want to hit him.
“I don’t want to forget you.” You whispered, growing slightly impatient. Your memories were flooding back to you once again. Namjoon was the same person that saved you every time. Every time he saved you, you would some how connect and grow a stronger bond than before. The dreams all happened for a reason. They came around every time your next death date grew near, signaling the return for Namjoon’s next appearance in your life.
Namjoon pulled free his gloves, casually dropping them on your counter. His cold hands fell against your cheek, making you look him in the pitch black orbs known as pupils.
“I can’t do anything…”
“Don’t leave me.” You kept whispering, and he hung his head between his shoulders. His face looked as though he was in pain, and you took two fistfuls of his sweater.
“3852… It’s so bad to be in love with a human… My job isn’t to make you happy, it’s to harvest souls every second for the rest of humanity.”
“Then don’t save me, next time. Stop making me remember you, if you won’t stay.”
He narrowed his eyebrows at you, frowning slightly. “You’re telling me to let you die?”
“What do you always do? You let people die. You take their souls. I should’ve just been another soul you took when I was 7.”
“Stop.” His voice rose in a pitch, he was getting angrier.
“Stop saving me, then. You can leave now, since I’m going to forget you anyway.” You dropped your arms off of him, but he didn’t let go of you. Namjoon leaned his face towards you, and for a split second you were wondering if he was going to kiss you.
He’d never kissed you before.
He didn’t kiss you, though. Instead, Namjoon dropped his head on your shoulder, letting his hands fall limply to his sides. You felt stiff from the cold, but you also didn’t want him to list his head. Gently, you brought your hand up and let it get tangled in his hair. He wasn’t breathing, and you wondered if he even needed too.
His forehead was cold, and it made you shiver. It didn’t matter, though. Namjoon’s hands rested on your waist, and you closed your eyes. The cold feeling had seeped through your thin night shirt, but where he touched seemed to be burning.
“I won’t stop saving you.” He promised, before picking up his head. Namjoon licked his bottom lip in a sort of sensual way, and you broke the small rift between the both of you.
His lips seemed to be the only hot thing on his body. Namjoon pulled you closer to him, and your hands held his neck. You opened your lips wider for him, and he pushed his tongue inside your mouth. Namjoon felt around inside for a moment, before you had to pull away and breath. He went to your jaw, kissing a little rougher than before.
“I don’t want to forget you…”
“Okay.” Namjoon murmured once he pulled away from you. “You won’t forget me.”
“Promise…” You slurred, feeling a little heavy.
Namjoon nodded, letting you lean on him so he could bring you back to your room. Once you were there he sat you down on your bed.
He didn’t reply to you, but you were much to tired to care. He leaned down to you, pressing his lips tenderly to your forehead.
“Stay…” You mumbled tiredly. “Don’t leave.”
“I’m sorry.” He breathed, slowly laying you back down into your bed. You could barely keep your eyes open anymore, and you wondered why this feeling had run over you so quickly. Was he doing this? You could barely think anymore. Namjoon draped the blanket over you, and turned to leave.
You attempted to take a handful of something, but caught nothing.
I made a follow forever not too long actually but because I love kyungsoo and jongin (and kaisoo) so much, I had to make a special one for this number (I’m the zero in the middle, bc I’m a loser :))
thank you so much for following me, for talking to me, for tagging me in things and for reblogging/liking my gifs/edits/drabbles *throws hearts* you’re all precious cinnamon rolls and I hope you all get your bias’ photocard, that your otp has lots of cute moments together and that you’ll randomly find money on the street tomorrow (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ. alright, let’s get to it, shall we?
bold - mutuals
♥ - click ‘read more’ bc I wrote some (probably really lame and underwhelming) words for you
start with a little disclaimer. Even though my nickname on all my social media
related to JYJ is “Jaejoongfanboy”. Junsu is a close second, always has been. I
support his acitivities, I’ve been to his solo concert in Oberhausen (Germany),
saw Dracula musical two times in Seoul last year, went to his solo concert in
Seoul two times, I buy all his solo albums, etc. I’m a JYJ-fan, which means I
support Kim Jaejoong, Kim Junsu and Park Yuchun. Yuchun hasn’t had much solo
activities except for drama’s and fan-meetings, I haven’t attended any of his
studying in Seoul at the moment, which was a dream come true for me. I love
this city and ever since I’ve visited here for the first time I’ve been wanting
to live here. So last year through my university I could apply for an exchange
semester. I went through all the paperwork, got accepted and got the final confirmation
in June. I was happy but ‘sad’ at the same time. Jaejoong was in the army
already, Yuchun would enter before I arrive and Junsu had released his Flower
album earlier this year. So chances of him releasing another album this year
would be low, I thought.
the news got released that Junsu would release a mini-album. Which made me more
than happy and excited. I hoped to be able to attend some activities he would
have during the release period. And this fan-account will probably be the
highlight of me attending one of his activities. Last week the news got
announced that he would have two fansigns. Which means.. spend a lot of money
and buy a lot of CDs to increase your chances in the lottery. For people who
don’t know how these fansigns work. Basically, for every CD you buy you get one
ticket to enter the lottery. If you buy 100 CDs you get 100 tickets to enter. Being
an international student in Seoul I don’t have an unlimited amount of money
(lol). Luckily, one of my Hong-Kongese friends suggested to help me. She would
ask some of her HK and TW friends if they want to buy another copy of Junsu his
solo CD to help me participate in the lottery and increase my chances. She
found 6 buyers and I decided to buy another 2 copies as well. So I bought a
total of 8 copies.
to buy all CDs at the Music Korea Fan-sign. Thinking that I would have more
chances like this than splitting it 4 / 4 and participate in two fansigns. I went
to the store in Myeongdong bought 8 copies of the CD and got 8 lottery tickets to fill
in. They asked for my full name, telephone number and birthday. I tried to write as
neat as possible, I didn’t want to ruin my chances by having a spelling mistake
or writing a wrong number (lol). So after buying the CDs, all there was left to
do was to wait for the results. Friday 13th November at 10PM (KST).
I visited musickorea.asia at 9:50PM trying to figure out where to look. But
everything was in Korean and I couldn’t find the right page!!! I took me till
10:10PM till I found the page.. (the struggle of being an international fanㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜ).
Music Korea Myeongdong entrance
There were 150 lucky fans and my name was listed at #135. The moment I saw my name there my heart stopped for a few seconds.. I was going to meet Junsu up close and get an autograph? Am I dreaming? Everybody reading this will understand, this is a highlight of a fangirl/boys life. I’ve never been to a fansign but I could only imagine how amazing this experience must be. I immediately texted my HK friend who helped me buy the albums, my best Japanese JYJ friends, Junsu biased friend, my Korean friends and close friends in Belgium. All of them know how much this meant for me and all of them were so happy for me. The next struggle was the notice posted on the website. I was in Korean and no English version to be found (lol). Luckily my best Korean friend translated everything in detail for me!
Notice in Korean
My friend her translation of the notice
that day (Friday 13th) I attended his open fan-meeting at the Lotte
Mall. I saw that fans had prepared post-it’s on the album with “To:…”,
questions, messages to JS,.. etc. So of course I was going to do that too. I
started discussing with my Japanese friend what I should write on the post-it’s.
She said I should ask for a hug but it would be hard. Everybody wants a hug,
right? We analyzed the video’s of 13th fan-sign and saw how SicSic
pushed fans away who just wanted to try to give JS a handshake. So what would
the chances of getting a hug be.. 0 (lol)? I asked my Korean biased JS friend
what her thoughts were and she said I should try it “JS loves his fanboys” she
told me. So I decided to go for it. I wanted to have an original sentence to
ask for a hug and decided to go for “I don’t speak Korean well so I can’t ask
a question. But can I get a hug instead?”. I asked my Korean friend to
translate for me (lmao my Korean is not even advanced enough to translate that ㅜㅜ). As for the “To:..” my Korean friend
suggested “to the most handsome European fanboy”, so she also translated that
for me. And I had the idea of sticking my two concert tickets on the album
thanking him for those concerts, telling him they were a lot offun and asking for a
I had a
hard time falling asleep that night.. I kept imagining the next day, meeting
Kim Junsu!! I set my alarm at 8AM. I wanted to look my best (lmao ㅠㅠ) had to shower, shave, blow-dry hair, style it, even put on some BB-cream
(lmao) and decide what to wear. We had to pick up the tickets between 10AM and
1PM in Myeongdong Music Korea store. I arrived at 11AM, the lady checked my
name on the winners list and let me pick a ticket. All tickets were in a little
box and we had to randomly pick one. The ticket had a letter and number on it
(the seatnumber) I picked N-7… A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N! WHAT???
N!!!!?? WHAT?!??!! Hahaha I must be seated on one of the last rows..ㅜㅜㅜ?! A little disappointed (but not really) I left the store, went to Daiso
to go buy post-it’s and then made my way to JHolic to prepare my page for his
autograph. I ordered an Americano with choco waffles and sat at one of the
tables to start. As I wanted to stick in my concert tickets I realized I didn’t
have scissors to cut the post-it’s to make them smaller. So I had to go ask the
lady in JHolic if I could borrow some scissors (lol).
Jholic coffe and choco waffles (delicious, I recommend)
outfit and look for the fansign (lol)!
On the top right post-it I
wrote “To: 유럽에서 온
제알 잘 생긴
남팬 My Joachim <3” (To: the
most handsome European male fan My Joachim <3) (note: I don’t actually think
I am the most handsome European fan, lol, just thought it would be funny for JS
to write this!). Middle has the two concert tickets and a post-it with “콘서트 감사합니아! :) <3 진짜 재미있었어요. 월드투어 해주세요! :)” (thank you for the concerts! :) <3 it was so much fun. Please
have a world tour! :)”). Bottom post-it “제가 한국말을 잘
못해서 질문을 많이
할 수없어요. 대신 한번만 안아줄
A. 네 B.네” (My korean is not so good,
so I can’t ask you a question. But can I have a hug instead? A. yes B. yes). Excuse me my handwriting, I was
so nervous just writing this. Knowing that Junsu might probably see these..
to leave JHolic at 12:20PM and walk to the building were the fansign was held. It took about 15 minutes to walk there. We were expected to enter
the signing hall at 13PM40 so I was too early, then decided to drink an orange
juice in the coffee shop in the building. A lot of fans were waiting there and
preparing their post-it’s! Around 1:20PM I went to the 3rd floor to
wait. Many fans were there already and many stared at me (lol). Probably
wondering if a male fan was really attending this signing. Some gave me friendly
smiles and appreciating nods :). Around 1:50PM we were let inside the hall and
guess what, my N-7 seat was the complete LAST row (lmao ㅜㅜㅜ).
Right before entering the hall
My view of the stage
need to complain, I was inside and ready to receive Junsu’s autograph. I
remember being so goddamn nervous! Junsu was supposed to enter at 2PM but he
was stuck in a traffic jam due to a protest in the centre. The organizer told
us we weren’t allowed to take pictures or recordings. Also if we had to go to
toilet, now was the time. The Korean girl next to me asked me “Toilet. Ok?”
haha so cute how they cared about me. The Korean girl at my other side made
some small talk, asking me where I’m from, my name, my age, asking me to show
the page I had prepared for JS, etc. Everyone was so nice!!
Junsu arrived around 2:30PM and started signing the albums after an
introduction and talk. Fans had to line up per 5 at the left side of the stage,
as one fan was with Junsu, another one had to go up the stage and wait there till
the other one finished. Many fans brought presents for JS, had cute head accessories,
flowers,.. etc. Really good to see how much fans care for him! Also, so many fans must have been so nervous,
it happened a few times that they brought their presents up the stage and
forgot to give them to Junsu. They walked up and down the stage with their
present.. Then had to go back to give their present to one of the staff,
hahahah. Happy to know I was not the only one being so nervous.
Sneaky super blurry pic
were only 4 rows left it was time for a break. Junsu took the mic and started
talking to the fans and answering questions. I didn’t understand much of this
part, but I could understand that they will try to start selling tickets
through the fanclub first. General public after that (YAY!). I also remember him
saying how he likes a private album signing like this (there were no press or
fans allowed to take pics). After a 30 minute talk with Junsu it was time to
resume the fansigning! Omg! 4 more rows. I started sweating, knees became weak,
my mouth was so dry I had to drink every 5 minutes hahaha. THEN It was time
for the next 5 people to walk down, including me.. Omg.. As I walked down fans
started to cheer a little. Hahahah I was so embarrassed, but it was so cute at
the same time. As I was standing there my KNEES WERE SHAKING, literally. I hope
no one could see that.. Then it was time for me to walk up the stage and wait
at the left side till the girl in front of me finished to get her sign. As I
walked up the stage the fans starting screaming a little bit. Junsu looked up at
the fans to see what was going on and then looked at me. His eyes were so big
and he looked so confused. What is this white giant male doing here, he must
have thought. Hahahah I was DYING. Embarrassed and so happy at the same time.
Then it was
my time to walk towards Junsu …. I walk to him and say ‘안녕하세요’ and give him my album. He looks at me with
the biggest eyes, still super confused and then laughs (lollol it’s so cute hahha). He then
puts his signature first together with ‘시아’. He then asks me in korean “Where
are you from?” I didn’t understand so I said “sorry?” and he replies in English
“Where are you from?” (with the CUTEST accent). I reply him I’m from Belgium
and he says “a a a a Belgium!! 벨기에”. He reads my “To:..” request and
starts writing it. As he is writing it he asks me in English “How old are you?”
I reply him that I am 25 years and he says “Oh so young, so young, WOW YOUNG”. Hahahah
a little embarrassed I say “oh noo.. noo..”. (omg what to doooooo?). He then
asks me another question, but I didn’t understand. I think he asked a question
with “ 3 “ in it? I didn’t know what to think so I reply “Oh no I only went to
two concerts” and I point at the tickets I sticked inside (lmaooooooo. smh @
myself) and he replies with “ooh I see”. Lmao he probably thought what does
that have to do with my question?” He had now finished writing my ‘To:..’-request.
Takes one last look at it and sees that I put a heart as well, so he draws a
little heart at the end (omg ㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜ). He now wants to close my album but I say “oooh”
and I point at the post-it at the bottom right (requesting for a hug). He reads
it, think for 1 sec, takes of a necklace-card a fan had given him earlier and
STANDS UP. AM I DREAMING?! IS HE GOING TO GIVE ME A HUG?! OMG?! *act cool act
cool* *what kind of hug do I give him?* *hug him really thight?* *no no he
might feel like that’s too much* *EUHM hug him with some appreciating soft hands
nods on the back?* *yes YES do that do that* All this thinking happened in 1
second. I WAS SHAKING, DYING! He walks towards me and opens his arms ㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜputs his arms around me ㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜㅜand also nods my back
with his hand. *aah I made the right choice as I do the same* *ok stay cool STAY COOL DONT MESS UP THIS PERFECT MOMENT* *it
will end soon, bow to him to show your appreciation* As I want to bow he sticks out his hand for a handshake *omg STUPID ME he wants to give handshake, stand up,
stop bowing* I immediately stand up and give him my hand. We shake hands (his
hand was so warm and wet, little sweaty ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ). I can’t blame
him, my whole body was literally soaked, I was sweating so much because it was
SO HOT there but also because I was so nervous. After we shake hands I try to
bow again and take my album, have one last look at him and walk of the stage. All fans are staring and
screaming a little still (sorry to all other fans ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ but this truly was one of the best experiences ever). As I walk down the
stage I receive the little present prepared from Music Korea (some biscuits) and walk back to my seat. As I walk past the fans all of them are still cheering a
I go sit
down in my seat again, sweat literally almost dripping of my face (lmao). Fans
around me ask me if they can see the signature JS gave me and ask if they can
take pictures. I’m fine with anything right now, Junsu just hugged me hahaha! Wow.
They ask me what he asked me, how it was, what he felt like, how he smelled,
etc. I try to answer all their question and show all of them the signature.
Soon after the fansign is finished (there were only 10 (?) fans after me).
Junsu thanks the fans, stands up and leaves the stage. And I.. I still can’t believe what
happened. Junsu hugged me. Put his arms around me and gave me a handshake.
Dream do come true!
It’s another theory, a lot of people use it with mbti but…idk i’m not about that life. I kind of look at it as it’s own thing
also i don’t know /shit/ about it either so it’s okay anon
anyway there are 9 numbers, and they’re divided into three hemispheres, head (thinking), gut (instinctual), and heart (feeling). Each of these hemispheres have a core emotion, and from the way i understand it, each type has a different way of dealing with that core emotion
thinking= fear :-O (5,6,7)
feeling = shame :-/ (2,3,4)
instinctual = anger >:-( (8,9,1)
Anyway, they all deal with this core emotion in different ways
2s hide their shame by helping others – how can someone be ashamed of someone sooo nice and caring?
3s are the most detached from their shame. They’re driven. Successful. (hahahaha sure)
4s hide their shame in themselves by being something novel and different.
5s fear the outside world so they hide themselves from it
6s are the most detached from fear. They seek security. and from what i gather from the sixes on here they’re just basically stressed in general poor sixes.
7s fear the inner world, so they dedicate themselves to multiple interests and distractions, and don’t commit to anything
8s experience their anger first hand, and express it via the external world
9s are the most detached from their anger. They play as the mediator and try to eliminate it from their surroundings
1s control their anger by controlling themselves
Anyway then you have to look into the paths of disintegration and integration that i don’t know enough to explain. There’s like a pretty chart thing. Enneagram, unlike mbti is based on fears, behavior, and external influence so like, whereas mbti is more nature, enneagram is the nurture part of it (though as i said, they’re not the same theory)
Instinctual stacking is another layer, idk how to explain
So = social “I care about what people think of me”
Sx = sexual (not like that) “i care about closeness in my personal relationships)
Sp = self preservation *imagine dragons voice* don’t get 2 close it’s dark inside
anyway you have one main one and then another one and the last is your blind spot so like if i’m an Sx/So as the test tells me i apparently have an Sp blindspot so i guess self preservation just isn’t my thing :/
Yep that’s all i remember it’s really late at night
EDIT: WINGS FUCKING WINGS TO0. YEA THERE’S A W AND THEN NEXT TO IT’S A NUMBER NEXT TO THE OTHER NUMBER AND YOU HAVE TRAITS OF BOTH TYPES BUT YOU HAVE A MAIN TYPE. AND TRITYPES TOO APPARENTLY THERE’S THREE HOLY FUCK AAAAAAAAA