i cry when i think they were so happy

FACTS ABOUT CONNOR MURPHY (spoilers)

So I have decided to post all the facts and hints about Connor Murphy’s past that are shown in the musical. It’s hard to make out considering people in the fandom usually focus on the lies Evan tells to figure out Connor’s personality.

To get this conclusion (which I will post in a second) I literally skipped all scenes concerning Evan’s lies and went directly to the Murphy family and what they say. None of these facts/hints involve what Evan said about Connor.

First of all, I’ll say now that I have put my own interpretation on each of these facts.

And so, I will put all FACTS in BOLD.
Anything out of bold is my own interpretation and how I see it to be. It’s up to you to agree with me or disagree.

First, I will post my conclusions on each family member, and then afterwards, I will post the reasons for each one.

Zoe

Zoe was an emotional and verbal abuse victim. There is no evidence of physical abuse, although there were threats that could have potentially led to that. She has all the right to not grieve over Connor, in all honesty, she could have sent him to the police for what he did, but as an abuse victim, that is very hard to do. Connor was probably the cause of most of her insecurities and she hated him for that. The unhealthy habit of taking out his anger on the nearest person to him probably made him lash out at his sister whenever he had a panic attack. Judging by how he really did care enough to keep the creepy letter about his sister, written by Evan, in his pocket for 3 days before he committed suicide, it’s safe to say that he really regretted being mean to his sister and actually cared about her.

Connor’s mom, Cynthia

Connor’s mom was a woman obsessed with reputation. She’s known as the rich man’s wife, and wants more than anything to be a regular family. But because her son had mental illnesses, her perfect image was ruined. She acted as though she was there for him but when it came down to it, she did nothing. She pushed for therapy but after a while, her husband took him out of it because “it wasn’t worth the money,” and she basically went, “welp, I tried.” I will quote what I say later: Connor’s mom might not actually be sad that her son is gone, but rather, she’s ashamed that her family actually doesn’t care. It seems like Connor’s mom is filled with regret for not being there for her son, and she’s forcing her family to act like they regretted it too, because that’s what a real family should have been like. But this is only a personal theory.

Connor’s dad, Larry

Connor’s dad might be one of the main sources of his depression. It is very obvious to me that Connor’s dad believed him to be a disappointment. He didn’t grieve for his dead son and only played along to make his wife happy. He’s annoyed by the whole situation. It even seemed like he hated the fact that there was fake remnants of his son in Evan. Almost like he wished Connor wasn’t friends with Evan so he could just forget all about him and not need to deal with it. At some point he was a kind father. When they went to the orchard together for picnics, it seems like they were a happy family. Connor’s dad had played with their toy plane together and had some great memories. The whole family practically forgot about this, though. Connor’s dad didn’t cry at his own dead son’s funeral. I think that sums it up.

Connor Murphy

Connor was a complicated person. He had many different mental illnesses. I could research which ones he probably had, but there’s probably already a post somewhere on it already. One thing for sure, is that he was unstable. He might not have been like that his whole life, but at the time of knowing him, the time he was briefly alive in the show, he was incredibly unstable. Everything and anything could set him off, and he probably hated that about himself as well. Pushing away everyone near him that could possibly help and hating himself for doing so, spiraling himself into a closed minded world of self-hate and regret, which is something that many people can relate to, including me. He did a lot of horrible things to his sister and to his family. I don’t blame his family for not actually grieving him, he was a really bad person. The problem is, he could have been a good person as well. He had all the potential to get better. He talked to Evan, probably wishing to say sorry about pushing him earlier in the hall. He was trying, he wanted to try. He wanted to get better. He just gave up too soon.

This post is very long! I’m sorry. If you’d like to read more, I’m putting the reasons I’ve come to these conclusions under the cut.

Remember, ALL FACTS ARE IN BOLD. Anything else is my personal interpretation.

Keep reading

All I wanted was for you to be happy.
—  And now I understand your thoughts, like why you always worried about me. I haven’t quite kicked my habits and it’s slowly killing me. Would you like to hear the bright news? I got a few good habits from you. I read more often now. Sometimes I hate it though, it reminds me of you. Isn’t that why we do anything? There’s something inside of us pushing to get out. I’ve been clawing my way out of an internal hell. I think I’ve killed myself a few times to forget your smile, but then I remember that at one point you were all that I had– happiness and love is such a sore subject, it’s also so temporary. Sometimes when I yell at people, I can hear you cry. So when I get upset, I just turn the music a little louder. I take walks now. I enjoy the loudness of this silence between us, it’s bittersweet. I haven’t gotten around to getting rid of our things, it’s a line that I can’t cut. I guess in a way, I’m still messed up. You know, I ask for forgiveness, but I’ll never understand why I do the things that I do. I’ll never understand why I am the way I am. I talk a big game, I tell my friends to accept themselves, but I still fucking hate myself. I’m just a little lost and sometimes I wish that I didn’t take you for granted. I wish that you weren’t just a memory. I wish that you were next to me. Sometimes maybe we’ll just talk things out without the anger, or sleep together without the sex. Sometimes I wish the broken didn’t crave the broken. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to break out a new poem just to hear your voice. Sometimes I’m a little lost and tonight is just one of those nights. I’m so fucking sorry. I’m sorry.
Min Yoongi, the dangerous man

Say something that would make me flush
Yoongi: You wanna come to my house

Is there any similarities between oppa and me? ㅠㅠ (please)
Yoongi: The fact that we love each other

Yoongi oppa! Every time I see you, I just end up complimenting you! Why am I like this?
Yoongi: Because you have fallen for me

I went to the Mokdong fansign event, but I couldn’t speak properly since my bias is Yoongi. I could’t even make eye contact with him, he noticed and looked at me from below. He said: “are you really not going to look at me in the eye?? Huh? Look at me ㅇㅇah~” I nearly screamed and my face was burning hot. 

Yoongi: Welcome~~
Fan: My bias is you oppa ㅠㅠ I came all the way from Busan (rural area) by the intercity bus to see you guys. Oppa, I bought some bath bombs for you but I don’t know if you’d like it or not, please take it. 
Yoongi: ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ omg, you know that I like taking baths?
Fan: I heard about it so ㅠㅠ 
(suddenly teared up because I was so happy and Yoongi was startled) 
Yoongi: Don’t cry don’t cry, it’s true that I like taking baths. I like it so I’ll use it well. 
Fan: Oppa, you have to remember me ㅠㅠ! 
Yoongi: Of course I will remember you, you’re so pretty.
(Thinking about it now still makes my heart flutter. Everyone, Min Yoongi has gone crazy and next fansign Min Yoongi you said you will remember me)

This was my first time going to BTS fansign, so I was really nervous and my hands were shaking. When I was in the queue to get my album signed, I really wanted to run away but it was my turn to get signed from Yoongi. I was shaking so much I couldn’t even flip to his page, then he said he will do it instead and he asked: “why are you shaking?” I replied: “because I’m really nervous.” Then he said: “it’s not easy to come (to an fansign) won’t you be upset if you didn’t even look at me, let’s look at each other for 5 seconds.” So I made eye contact with him, my mind went blank and felt like my heart was going to jump out. Suddenly, Yoongi said: “you didn’t know that 10 seconds have passed right? See, you can look at me in the eye.” When he was signing, he asked if I had anything I wanted to say to him, so I confessed my love to him in a goat’s voice. He said: “since you’ve practiced with me, don’t be nervous when you go to the next member and say what you want to say to them. I’ll keep watching you.”

Yoongi actually remembers the people who came to the fan signs
Fan: Oppa, do you remember me?
Yoongi: ?? You’ve never attended (unconcerned)

Complied by: -某霏-
English Trans: KIMMYYANG
Pt. 2

anonymous asked:

What about an imagine where the RFA are already in relationships when they meet and fall in love with MC? How would they feel and what would they do? Eventually they find out that MC reciprocates their feelings but is keeping quite and holding back because of their relationships.

Gah! These ALMOST turned out into mini-fics!! There’s just so much material to work with >_<

For now, I only wrote Yoosung, Zen, Jaehee and Jumin. HOWEVER, due to Seven’s circumstances as a secret agent, I do not believe he would be in a relationship with anyone—even considering the possibility of a mission, it is unlikely that it would be long-term or serious.

If you’d like to see other characters for this ask, you may request it, but I’m also working on about 4 other asks right now, so please be patient <3 In the end, I’m writing for you guys anyway, so, I hope you’ll understand!

Regardless, I hope you enjoy!! I had fun writing this ^~^ (Jaehee’s might break your heart i mean what)

–R.I.

Yoosung

He’s been dating this cute, girly college student from his class, and he had been determined to have a stable relationship with her, since she was his first girlfriend. She’d been the one to confess to him, and he giddily accepted, excited to experience “love.” He constantly felt pressured to say cute things a boyfriend should say, and act gentlemanly, sweet and romantic. It took a lot to keep her happy.

When you joined the RFA, he was excited to get to know you, and the two of you hit it off easily. He found himself looking forward to your messages, and he always felt happy during your calls. He’d never even met you, but you were able to make him so… so happy. Not like his girlfriend at all. He had to force himself around her. He felt conflicted. Was this how a relationship is supposed to work? Is he supposed to feel stressed and tired because of his girlfriend?

At the RFA party, Yoosung overheard your conversation with Zen. He listened quietly from behind a wall, as you cried to Zen about how you’d fallen in love with Yoosung, but it could never work out because he’s already in love with someone else. He felt his heart clench in pain as he listened to your muffled sobs against Zen’s shoulder. Jealousy stirred in his chest, wanting to be the one who wiped away your tears instead of Zen. And it was then that he knew, you were the one he loved.

With his feelings sorted out, Yoosung decided to break up with his girlfriend before doing anything with you. But before he could even say anything, his girlfriend broke up with him over text: ‘Hey, Yoosung… I’m really sorry but I don’t think we’ll work out. I realized that I wasn’t in love with you, but I was in love with the idea of having a boyfriend. I’m really sorry, but I don’t want to continue our relationship based on these shallow feelings of mine. Thank you for everything.” While it was true that he was never really in love with her, he did shed a few tears for losing the relationship they had. It wasn’t like he hadn’t liked her at all—he would still feel emotionally attached, despite their short relationship.

After a short while, he finally gathered up the courage to tell you about his feelings. It was over a brunch date, and there had been a painfully awkward silence prior to his confession (as neither of you knew what to say. Him, because he was nervous to admitting his feelings, and you, because you were miserably in love with him but couldn’t express it)

His confession surprised you. You hadn’t expected that his girlfriend had broken up with him, nor that he reciprocated your feelings! You’d thought it was a painful, one-sided love, and the fact that it wasn’t made you relieved to the point of tears. “I-I thought I would have to be your friend forever… just watching you smile beside h-her… and not me,” you sniffled, sincerely confessing your thoughts. “I thought that you’d never look at me, and that I’d have to k-keep giving you advice on how to make your girlfriend happy…”

“If you’ll be my girlfriend, then I hope you never stop advising me on how to make my girlfriend happy, because I want to make you the happiest woman on Earth.”

Zen

As a publicity stunt, Zen had been forced to date Echo Girl. He was against the idea, but as an aspiring actor, he had no choice but to follow his management’s orders. Besides, it would be good practice for roles where his character was in a relationship. He didn’t really care, since this wasn’t a real relationship with sincere feelings. Echo Girl hardly knew him.

He never expected that he would actually fall in love with someone so soon after his relationship with Echo Girl was made public. Your appearance in the RFA was sudden, after all. But Zen had fallen in love with you at first sight. You were kind to everyone, listening to their thoughts quietly whether you agreed or disagreed. And you weren’t pretending to be nice, either. Nobody would be able to keep up an act like that for so long—he would know, he acts everyday, and he can’t get into character every time.

He fell in love with your voice, just as he fell in love with the rest of you. But your voice had a special appeal to him. You sounded so sweet and sincere, and prior to the party, it was his only way of feeling connected with you. He’d savour the sound, loving the way his name rolled off your tongue. “Hey Zen… hypothetically, what would you do if I liked you?” His heart almost stopped at the question, but he eventually managed to squeeze out an “I don’t know.” You had sounded so genuine, his heart was racing with the possibility in mind.

Despite not confirming your feelings, Zen approached his manager, demanding that they put an end to the relationship publicity stunt, or he would publicly announce that the company was lying to build his image. When it was all done and dealt with, he proceeded to beg and beg Seven for your apartment’s address. Zen would be in debt to Seven for thousands of Honey Buddha Chips, but it was all worth surprising you for your smile. With his knee to the floor, and a bouquet of roses raised towards you, he imitates your confession to say…

“MC… hypothetically, what would you do if I liked you back?”

Jaehee

She’s been dating a man for a while before she met you. He had asked her out during one of the C&R business events, and fallen in love with her at first sight. While Jaehee knew that his feelings were sincere, she wasn’t sure about how she felt towards him, but he told her that he was willing to wait.

Fortunately for her, you’d soon joined the RFA, and she felt that she was able to confide in you about her problems. You would listen to her as she ranted about her admiration for Zen, Jumin’s irritating tendencies, and relationship problems, amongst many others. With each conversation, Jaehee became more and more relaxed talking with you, and your ability to ease her burdens only got better as you learned more about her.

Jaehee’s boyfriend noticed the way Jaehee’s expression had grown softer lately, and how she always replied to your texts immediately in the midst of their conversations. He watched knowingly as Jaehee’s eyes gained a happy glint in them, her laughter sounding more feminine and relaxed, compared to her forced, unsure chuckles from before she’d met you. He was fully aware that Jaehee was most likely in love with you, and that he would have to let her go soon.

He prayed to the gods to forgive him for forcing someone who wasn’t interested to stay in a relationship with him, begging for just a little more time with her. He knew that he should support her and push her towards the one she truly loved, but he wanted to be just a little more selfish, until she would realize her own feelings.

So when Jaehee finally confronted him, he was prepared for her confession. “I’m really sorry. I… thank you for being so patient with me up until now. I truly did enjoy spending time with you, and I am honoured that you would fall in love with someone like me, so I believe you deserve a proper apology,” Jaehee forced herself to look into his eyes despite the guilt in her heart.

But he deserved a serious, proper explanation from her, because he’d been nothing but kind to her throughout their relationship. He’d put his best efforts in making her happy, and she knew it. “I’m really grateful for your feelings, and I’m truly sorry to say that I can’t return them. There is… someone else who has already stolen my heart,” she admitted softly.

Finally, he was able to let her go. He left her with one last kiss on the forehead, and bid her farewell, “Thank you for everything. I hope that whoever you love will be able to love and care for you much better than I was able to. Please, be happy from now on.”

Jaehee couldn’t help but shed a few tears, for losing a good relationship with an honest, sincere man. But no matter how amazing he was, her feelings for you would not change. You were the only one who could make her feel so relaxed, comfortable and happy even when her work pressured her to no ends. You were the only one who she felt could understand her, and she wanted to give you the same happiness she received.

Although she was now single, she still believed that her love was one-sided. Love between women was becoming more socially acceptable, but she had no idea about your views about it. And even then, it didn’t necessarily mean that you returned her feelings. But imagine her surprise when you burst into her house upon hearing the news that she’d broken up with her boyfriend. Tears were streaming down your face—you were crying for her. You explained, “But Jaehee… didn’t he make you happy? Why aren’t you crying? It makes me really sad when I think about everything you’ve lost with him… I had been s-so happy that he was there for you through all your struggles…”

Gently, she wiped your tears, looking affectionately into your eyes. “The person standing right in front of me is the one who I’ve fallen in love with. MC, you’re the one who makes me feel happy. Your kind words have always cheered me up. I don’t know if you feel the same, but I will try my best to win your affection, okay? Because MC… I love you.”

Jumin

Money, fame and looks… Jumin Han had it all. He had never had trouble getting anything he wanted, although he was still dying to understand love—not that he would ever admit that. Instead of expressing this desire, he hooked up with various women, trying to find someone who could match his preferences.

He was in yet another of these shallow relationships when he met you, but he hadn’t been attracted to you immediately. It had taken a lot of time and conversation before he developed any feelings towards you. At first, it was a fond interest. ‘MC sure can be cute, trying to argue with me about the business world… Doesn’t she know I have a large advantage over her in that area?’ It slowly changed into admiration, as he observed how you were able to get along with everyone in the RFA. He often had trouble with Zen, but you seemed to handle the narcissist without a problem. (No Jumin, Zenny just hates you..)

It wasn’t until he read a magazine in which he took a quiz, ‘Are you in love?!’ (he actually believes this stuff, thinking that they publish credible information) Thinking of his latest hookup, he circled answers in pencil, and calculated his score, which resulted in, “SADLY, NO: but we hope that you will find ‘The One’ soon!! There’s gotta be somebody for you out there :)” Sighing, Jumin threw the magazine to the floor. He would never find ‘The One,’ at this rate. He’s already failed so many times…

A thought struck him. Hesitantly, he retrieved the magazine from the floor, and attempted the quiz again, with thoughts of you in mind. ‘Does he/she make you smile when you talk?’ Yes. ‘Do you want to know him/her more?’ Yes. ‘Do you want him/her to be a part of your life forever?’ If you would, then yes. “WOW: It looks like you’re in love! See our next issue to find out if they could be ‘The One!’”

Flustered, Jumin scowls at the magazine despite the happy feeling bubbling in his chest. Maybe this magazine isn’t that credible after all. (Now you think that?? You tsundere.) He spends the night drinking wine, complemented with dazed thoughts. He’d never truly loved a woman in his life before, not even his own (gold-digging) mother. And yet this magazine claims that he’s in love with… you? You, a woman who’d just waltzed into his life and captured his genuine interest. …Fuck. Maybe I do have feelings for her.

“What is love?” he asks you over dinner, swirling the wine in his glass around the brim. You reply sadly in a mock posh accent, “What is love, but an emotion that only serves to break one’s heart?” Surprised by your answer, he wonders what makes you say that. He quietly questions you if someone had dared to break your heart, voicing his shock that anyone could possibly turn down a sincere, kind-hearted woman who could pique one’s interest in conversation, such as yourself. You laugh bitterly, shaking your head in disbelief. “It’s you, idiot,” you mutter, facing downwards. Avoiding his eyes, you stood up abruptly from the table. “I… I’m gonna go.”

Alarmed, he catches hold of your hand. “Wait!” he calls out to you before he even realizes what he’s done. “MC… I think I’m in love with you. I haven’t sorted out my feelings yet, but I’m really, really interested in you. I don’t understand it myself, but I do know that you’re special to me. Will you wait for me?”

Softly, sincerely, he stares into your eyes, silently begging you to understand. And you stay.

RFA+Saeran Suicidal MC

Can you write headcanons for the rfa and saeran with an mc who wants to kill herself because she feels like she doesn’t matter and nothing she does will ever matter

I got this prompt before things went downhill on my end, and I’m so sorry it has taken me a while until I was able to write this for you, anon.

I really hope you’re doing okay, and know that you’re loved. Please if you need help, remember to talk to loved ones, friends, or to look up suicide hotlines for your area (Google as an incognito mode if you’re stressed about your history). If you’re thinking of therapy I used to use BetterHelp.com. They had an app and it was nice not having to voice all the negatives, just writing them down. And some places offer free therapy as well.

Do not be ashamed for wanting/needing help. It’s so much better than the alternative.


Zen

- He showered you with compliments on the daily.

- He didn’t know you. You were still just some person behind a text message screen.

- Why did he care so much?

- Out of the camera’s prying eyes, you locked yourself in the late Rika’s room, curling up beside her bed.

- She was so much better than you in every way, so much more lovable, likeable. No one ever batted an eye to you unless it was just to be flirted with.

- You knew those advances would go away the moment they saw you for who you were.

- Some over-depressed whiny fuck.

-  You covered your face, hating how harsh you had to be to yourself, when you heard the phone ring. You peaked over, the action seemingly taking over a year, but you recognized the face on the ID.

- Zen.

- You answered, a low “Hello”, to which he acted surprised to.

- “Eh? Are you sick? Did our RFA princess get a cold?

- Silence. Long enough that you heard him shuffle with the phone, probably to check if you were still on the line.

- “Mc? Hey, are you okay?

- “Why do you care?”

- “…What kind of question is that?

- You scoffed.

- “Hey, whats up? What’s wrong?

- “What, you going to just flirt with me? Save the damsel in distress who you don’t even know?” You swallowed, the action making your throat feel like it was being torn apart. 

- “I do know-

- “No you don’t! You don’t even know what I look like, let alone how I act! How I really am! Just some selfish fuck up who can’t even compare to that Rika girl you all keep talking about!”

- Silence again, and your felt your heart manage to break even more. “That’s what I thought, you can’t even-”

- “No, I’m still here. I’m listening.

- “To what?”

- “To you. To you venting. Mc, please just. Keep going.

- Out of anger you did. Anger towards yourself, towards the group. He listened. He listened as anger turned into broken sobs that had your chest heaving.

- He kept quiet for a moment, making sure he wasn’t interrupting you again.

- “You’re right, I don’t know you. I don’t know what you look like, but you know what? I don’t care. Because while I don’t know you that well, I know already you’re a good person. You’re helping us while your heart is so burdened with stress, while you have the weight of us on your shoulders. Do you know how many others would do that? None. In fact, the one that did is gone now. And even as upset you are with us talking about her, you’re still willing to help, you’re still willing to listen to idiot romantics like me, while you’re struggling so much. But you know what? We’re here for you. These strangers that you’re taking care of, we’re here for you too. No matter how silly, no matter how late, you can call me. Text me. If you feel like this please, please, just talk to me or one of the guys who makes you feel more comfortable, if you can’t talk to anyone else. Just please, yell at me, blame me, but god please don’t do anything to yourself.

- “I-I-I’m so ssorry-”

- “Don’t. We all have our bad moment. When I see you at that party, I’ll give you all the hugs I can’t give you right now, and all the ones no one else was able to give you. So stick around until then at least, okay?”

- You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “O-Okay.”

- He stayed on the phone with you to calm you down, getting you to agree to sleep on the couch so Seven could make sure you were okay. He stayed on the phone for hours, just listening, singing at times, humming encouragement. 

- And when the two of you finally met, he couldn’t let go of you, and you never wanted to let go of him.

Jumin

- He was used to coming home and you greeting him with a smile, warming his heart and taking the stress from work that day. Even Elizabeth 3rd didn’t have that effect all the time

- But seeing you curled up on the bed, motionless, face soaked in tears, had him dropping his suitcase and rushing to you

- “Mc? Mc, are you alright?”

- You weakly looked up at him, dried eyed threatening to tear up again. “No.” God, every part of you hurt admitting that, but you just wanting some emotion to grace you, something other than pain and numbness

- “Do I need to call the doctor? It’ll just-”

- “No, no please, just.” You weakly reached out for his hand, and he immediately grasped yours. Even just tilting your head felt like it took your whole energy reserve away. “I need you.”

- He laid down beside you, pulling you into his arms. “Love, please. What’s wrong?”

- “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

- “About what?”

- “I’m such a fucking waste of space Jumin, I can’t do anything right anymore.”

- He jerked away slightly, looking you in the eyes.

- “Don’t you dare even begin to think that. Don’t you dare.”

- Tears starting spilling from your eyes again as you were forced to look directly at him, your shoulders shaking.

- “But I am-”

- “No,” He kissed your forehead, but his voice was stern, even slightly shaky. “You are the most amazing thing to happen to me, you are the best thing to grace my presence each morning I open my eyes, you are so much more than that, mc. Please.”

- You had never seen Jumin cry, but now you felt it. He was holding you tight, burying his face in your hair, as he struggled to keep composed as his body shook.

- “Please, mc. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

- You clung tightly to him, muttering a mantra of apologies as he made a mental list of how to help you exactly.

- He would going to start telling you he loved you six times a day, kiss you every moment he could, call you every small two minute break he had just to tell you he thought of you. 

- God, just anything. Anything to keep you here with him, and to feel like yourself again. Not this husk.

Jaehee

- Jaehee knew a few of the signs, just from excessive research she did after hearing about the late Rika.

- Maybe a few other reasons

- The two of you were closing up the shop for the night, you washing the dishes as she swept. However, she had stopped ages ago, watching you stare at a knife with a dead-eyed half lidded stare.

- She knew. 

- Slowly, she walked behind you, taking your hands in hers and getting the knife away from you, holding you from behind.

- “Mc, don’t.”

- That’s all she said. She wasn’t even 100% sure that was what you were thinking, but you bursting into tears on the spot confirmed it.

- She cut the sink off, wrapping you in one of the fluffy clean towels, rocking you back and forth as you sobbed into her.

- She wanted to cry, felt like she needed to, but she held it in. For you, just for you. Just anything to make you happy.

- “Jaehee, I can’t- It’s so painful- I can’t even breathe-”

- “Shhh,” She kissed the back of your head, waiting for you to cry it out.

- When you finished, she turned you around, kissing the corners of your eyes.

- “We’re going to get you to a doctor.”

- “Jaehee, no-”

- “Yes,” Her voice cracked a bit, and she took a deep breath. “Mc, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve learned so much about myself, I’m finally enjoying my life again, I feel like I finally learned what it’s like to feel alive-”

- “With me gone, you’ll-”

- “I’ll break, I’ll be in shambles. And I never, ever, want to see you like that. I never want to see your beautiful, shining, radiant face devoid of life. If that happened, I’d die, Mc. I would just stop.”

- She took a moment to rub her eyes, then to kiss you.

- “Please, please, just talk to me. I promise I love you, I promise I will do everything I can. Just please, god. Don’t hurt yourself.”

Yoosung

- Everything had been numb until now.

- Bad grades? Still workless? Numb.

- Yoosung drowning in games while you silently and mentally begged for his attention? Numb.

- You weren’t even sure what had snapped in you today, but as he was discussing a test he failed, sad over it, but a bit happy it wasn’t as bad as his past grades

- And you just broke down in tears

- He froze up, trying to figure out what he said wrong as you buried your face in your knees.

- “Mc? Mc, what happened? Are you okay?”

- He gingerly touched you, scared of provoking more tears, but when you leaned a bit closer he managed to bring your face up to look at him.

- “Mc, please, please, tell me what is wrong.”

- He was so scared. Were you going to break up with him? Did someone hurt you? What was happening?

- After a few moments of choked sobbing and garbled mutterings, you managed to clear your throat enough.

- “Yo-Yoosung, I can’t stand this anymore.”

- Oh god, you were breaking up, weren’t you? He took a deep breath. “Stand what?”

- “Just, I don’t fuckcing know,” you covered your face again. “Living. I can’t.”

- His heart sunk. Immediately he pulled you to him, tears already leaking.

- “Do-Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare, Mc. Please, god, don’t you dare.” He couldn’t bring himself to say the word, he didn’t want to even jinx it. “Please, god, don’t. I don’t know what I’d do.”

- You outright wailed.

- “I don’t have a job, I’m such a disgrace, I just-”

- “No,” He pushed your face into his shoulder, refusing to have you keep on. “You don’t know how much you mean to me, or the people around you. God, please, I went through this with Rika, Mc, just please, please, let me help you. I couldn’t-” His voice broke, “I couldn’t help her, please, god, let me help you.”

- The two of you broke down, just rocking back and forth on his bed, sobbing together. You, feeling so ashamed and sick. Yoosung, so scared and guilty. 

- After the two of you cried it out a bit, he covered you in kisses, refusing to stop until he felt like you knew how much he loved you. 

- He’d nearly beg Jumin to have him help you get help. He didn’t care if he had to become a slave to C&R for the rest of his life. Anything was better than losing you.

Seven

- No matter what you did, how much you told him you loved him, he pushed you away. 

- You couldn’t understand why for the life of you. He was so in love with you a while ago, and now it’s just this?

- It was you, right? You did something. You weren’t who he thought you were…Right?

- He didn’t even notice you leave the house.

- You threw your phone somewhere outside, and just walked. Walked until your feet felt sore, until your legs couldn’t take it.

- When you finally stopped, you were at an old park bench. It was late in the afternoon, almost dark, so no kids were around. You sat down, and held it in as you thought about what you were going to do.

- There was a river nearby, so that was an option, wasn’t it? And if you truly needed to you could fashion your sweater into some noose. It wouldn’t be too hard if you had your phone.

- Phone… Right. You threw that somewhere, didn’t you? You couldn’t even look up proper ways of killing yourself, could you? Managed to fuck up right until the end.

- You laughed to yourself, and as you did it slowly turned into hiccups. Into sobs.

- Soon you were sobbing on this abandoned park bench, like some fool. Some lovestruck fool that had no one to love her back.

- You didn’t know how long you were there, not until a loud screeching noise hit your ears, causing you to blink at the bright lights in front of you.

- “Mc? Oh thank god, thank god.”

- Seven ran to you, pulling you off the bench and hugging you tight.

- “I was so scared, I was so fucking scared. Are you okay? Are you hurt-”

- You shook him off, shooting a bitter glare his way.

- “Why do you care?”

- You could see the life leave him. He instantly teared up, reaching for you.

- “God, mc, I do, I do, god i do please. Please please, please pleaseplease, don’t do this-”

- “What, push you away like you-”

- He pulled you into a sloppy, wet, kiss. His tears mingling with his inability to kiss properly.

- “I know I’m an asshole, I know I don’t deserve you. I just get so scared- I’m so gross, so disgusting, so stupid, Mc. And you’re so smart, so kind, so fucking calm. And I don’t deserve you, not in the slightest, but here you are,” He managed a weak, choked, laugh. “Finally realizing…”

- He held you close, refusing to let go, as he sobbed into your chest. “God, mc, please. Come home, lets talk, and then you can beat me within an inch of my life, but please god don’t leave me, don’t, not like this. Not like this, just any other way, not like this.”

- You put your stubbornness aside. Still angry, but longing some validation.

- The two of you settled in his car, awkwardly cuddling in the back seat in the abandoned parking lot, trying to calm down enough to drive.

- And in that time frame, you realized he was just as scared as you were. Once he heard your plans, he begged you to get help, he even promised he would come along to therapy, just anything so you didn’t harm yourself like you were thinking. He needed to know you were safe, and he would never forgive himself if he couldn’t stop you.

- But you knew for damn sure he wasn’t going to push you away anymore, not even if his mind told him to. You deserved more.

Saeran

- When he saw your recent search histories, he nearly broke down himself, recognizing a few of the searches as ones he used to look up himself.

- You, the wonderful woman who welcomed him with open arms. Despite those he hurt, despite him trying to hurt you. When you first saw him, you immediately hugged him so tightly, whispering on how thankful you were that he was alright.

- Something he would never forget.

- And here he was, reading the results you got for painless suicide methods. Once he saw one connected to your recent behavior, he shot out of his seat and sprinted to wherever you could be.

- When he found you, he was the one to break into sobs. He was so mad, so fucking mad, that he couldn’t stay composed, but he needed you, he needed you so bad.

- He fell to his knees, clinging onto your legs.

- “Mc, please god, please don’t do it, please for fucking gods sake don’t leave me alone, don’t leave me with an empty bed and guilt, god Mc I can’t take it, I can’t.”

- As soon as he started sobbing, you connected the pieces pretty quickly, and felt your own tears pour.

- You slowly met him on the floor, where he held you in a death-like grip, begging you without any shame.

- “Why, why, why? Why?”

- “I’m just. Worthless, Saera-”

- “Don’t you fucking even think that for one moment. I’ve killed people, mc, I’ve killed people worse than you, I’ve beaten people. God, Mc, I’m worse than you. If anything I’m the one more deserving to go rather than you.”

- He broke down again, ending up blubbering. “If you go I don’t know what I’d do. You’re the only thing keeping me sane, please god Mc, please don’t. Please. Please.”

- He just kept begging, and you started to wail.

- The two of you stayed on the floor just cuddling each other, unsure of what else to do. It took hours until the both of you could stop crying, until the both of you held hands so tightly and talked about the help for you to get.

- He would do anything, just anything, for his beautiful heaven like sky not to be taken away from him.

You deserve better

Jughead x reader

In which the reader starts crying because of how great Jughead is.

(aka me)


It was raining outside. It was hailing earlier, harsh and cold, with a concrete-like-sky and an unrelenting chill, but now it was soft, tentative, and swirling. It was one of those unsettling situations in which it was raining, but the sun was also bright. The tarmacked ground outside was wet, but shining. Raindrops were settled on my windows, but the light was shining through them, making my room even brighter than if they weren’t there. I saw him cross the road, his hands in his pockets, and his eyes squinted against the rain. I noticed he had his backpack on his shoulders, which was never good. I took out my headphones and rushed down the stairs, opening the door for him. He walked in, shaking out his hair like a wet dog and I laughed.

“I need a place to stay.” He said, his eyes pleading. I smiled.

“Of course, Jug, whenever.” His face relaxed in relief, a grin spreading across his face. This was not the first time Jughead had had nowhere to go, and had come to stay with me. The first time he had tried to hide it from me, attempting to sleep at school, but of course I had not allowed that to continue. My parents weren’t around anyway, so there was no one to tell him no.

“Maybe you should just come and live here all the time.” I joked, and he laughed as he kicked his shoes off, but then he looked up at me, and suddenly that suggestion seemed all too real. I followed him into the kitchen and lifted myself up onto the side as he leant against the sink. I didn’t ask what had happened to make him, once again, homeless, but instead started an entirely unrelated conversation, for which I know he was grateful.

My studying was abandoned, and we ended up sprawled across the sofa watching movies, as per usual. We each leant with our backs on one arm of the sofa, our legs entangled in the middle. I looked over to him as the credits rolled, surprised to find him fast asleep, his head slumped down onto his chest. Jughead never really slept, so I felt as though it was a privilege to see him do so. His face seemed so much more peaceful, the seemingly constant furrow of his eyebrows smoothed out, and his mouth relaxed. I stared at him for so long, his face now only lit up by the faint light of the white lettering on the screen. I thought about how rarely he looked calm, peaceful or content, and how much I wanted him to be. This seemingly gloomy, angry teenage boy, who had turned out to be so gentle and good. We had been friends now since third grade, when I moved to Riverdale. I didn’t really have anyone before that, and then Jughead strolled into my life with his stupid hat and satirical humour and made everything good. He deserved so much better than what he was given.

Suddenly there were tears in my eyes and a swelling in my throat as I desperately wished Jughead Jones happiness. I let out a silent laugh as tears ran down my face at the absurdity of the situation. I was literally sitting next to my sleeping friend, crying at how great he was. I shifted my legs, moving to stand up, but froze as Jughead’s body stirred at the movement. His eyes opened slowly, looking around blearily as his legs shifted. They met mine and widened in alarm as he noticed the tears on my cheeks. He sat up quickly.

“Y/N?” He asked worriedly, his hand reaching for mine. This movement, paired with the concerned look on his face, seemed to intensify my emotions, and I let several more tears leak out of my eyes as I looked at the wonderful boy in front of me. He frowned even more, distressed by my sudden onset of emotions, moving towards me on the sofa.

“Hey, what is it?” One of his hands took mine, while his other rested on my leg, rubbing up and down. He was just making it worse. “Y/N, what is happening?”

I wanted to laugh at his obvious confusion, but water just kept trickling out of my eyes. I chuckled weakly, attempting to wipe the tears off my face, but they were just replaced. I brought my legs up and off the sofa, shuffling along it towards him and leaning into his ready arms. My cheek pressed against the side of his chest as I continued to cry. It was just getting embarrassing at this point, I didn’t even know what I was upset about anymore. His arm came around my shoulders, the other one moving to grip my hand as he rested his cheek on top of my head, obviously realising I just needed a hug.

“Shh, Y/N please stop crying. Or at least tell me why you’re crying, I mean I really have no idea what’s going on.” He said, rubbing his hand up and down my shoulder in a desperate attempt to comfort me. I let out a weak and watery laugh, the occasional tear still sliding down my face.

“You’re just really great.” I mumbled into his shirt.

“Hm?”

“You’re great okay, Jughead, that’s why I’m crying!” I said a bit louder, almost annoyed with him. There was a moment of silence before he started laughing, as I knew he would. I rolled my eyes,

“Yeah, go ahead, laugh it up, I’ll just sit here and cry.” I grumbled as he continued to laugh. He leant back to look down at me, smiling.

“You’re crying because… I’m great?” He asked, frowning and chuckling. I huffed,

“Yes, Jug, I’m crying because you’re great.”

“Okay, I’m gonna need some clarification.”

I sighed, leaning further into him, his arm still around me.

“Well I just started thinking about how much you have improved my life,” I started quietly, half into his chest, embarrassed to be confessing this to him. “And then you were asleep and you looked so peaceful and I wish you could be like that all the time because you deserve to be happy, and you don’t deserve anything bad to ever happen to you.” I rambled off, shutting my eyes as another tear slipping onto my cheek. There was silence for a moment, before he removed his arm from me and turned around to face me, his eyebrows furrowed and a small, bemused smile on his face.

“Y/N, I am happy, you know that right? Especially with you.” He looked me in the eye.

“Sure, I have a pretty shitty home life, but doesn’t everyone? There are plenty of people who have it worse than me, and I count myself lucky for what I do have.” I smiled up at him, and he moved his arm back around me, looking forward. “I think you underestimate how happy you make me. Don’t think it’s just you who’s all grateful, Y/N, that’s not fair. Sure, I may not cry about it,” I laughed, “but I have you, and as disgustingly cheesy as it sounds, that’s pretty much all I need. You know, I think the reason I looked so peaceful when you were watching me sleep, which is creepy by the way, is because I was here, with you. This is the calmest, safest place for me. Right by your side.” He pressed his lips against the top of my head, and I tried very hard not to cry again. Why does he do this to me?

I thought about what he had just said, and a small smile spread across my face. The best thing I could do for Jughead was just to be with him. To be there for him, and to make him laugh, and let him stay at my house, and watch movies with him when I’m supposed to be working. To be his friend.

I took his hand as we pressed ourselves into each other, enjoying the silence, the darkness and each other.


Okay so this is a bit of a weird one but perfectly sums up how I feel about Jughead.

@ riverdale writers make him happy pls

Boyfriend Series; The8/Minghao

- minghao is the cutest boyfriend ever don’t even argue with me on this
- for your first date, he takes you to the roof of the highest place in the city at night and the cool breeze feels so nice and the stars are scattered all over the dark blue sky
- you turn to him and ask “minghao, why are we here??”
- and right after you say that, one firework shoots up into the sky and another and another
- minghao knew about the fireworks show and wanted you both to have the best view
- and on that roof is where you both share your first kiss
- he’s a bit of a worrier, so he often calls to ask you if you’ve eaten yet or if you slept well or if your day went well ISN’T HE CUTE
- you both make it your goal to try all the restaurants in the city so you guys go out for breakfast/lunch/dinner dates every day
- his eyes sparkle when you ask him to tell you all about china and he gets so excited while talking about his hometown
- apologizes cutely when he realizes he talked too much but you’re like no!!! keep going i love hearing about this!!! and his face just lights up
- he calls you tiánxīn (sweetheart) and qīn'ài de (darling) and you die
- he’s shy when it comes to having matching couple things, but after realizing that it would make you happy, he decides to get you both matching scarves
- minghao once tied your scarf for you and the other members all teased him about it because it was so k-drama
- but they stopped when he went all thughao on them
- remembers every single one of your achievements and always tells you how proud he is of you, which helps you feel so much better on bad days
- whenever you guys take pictures of each other, minghao always insists you send them to him right away so he can put one as his lock screen
- he also really loves photo booth pictures
- he hangs them up on his wall at the dorm and junhui points at you and goes like “ohhh who’s that cutie??” and minghao just glares at him like don’t. you. effing. dare.
- “GO AWAY JUN THEY’RE MINE”
- always wants to kiss you but he’s shy so you’re usually the one who initiates the kisses
- one time HE was the one who initiated the kiss and when you both pulled away his face turned bright red and he apologized for being so forward
- minghao loves forehead kisses
- maybe even a tiny bit more than kisses on the lips
- he finds them so warm and comforting, sometimes when you’re leaning in for a kiss he purposely lowers himself so that you’d kiss his forehead instead
- “(laughs) minghao i was aiming for your lips” “ohhh right”
- always tries to impress you with his b-boying and jihoon bans you from coming to dance practices because they never progress while you’re there
- gets you cute small gifts like ribbons and keychains and says “it looked like something you’d like” and you know what HE’S ALWAYS RIGHT
- takes care of you when you’re sick like he buys you medicine, makes you hot soup and tea, gets you 28379 blankets, makes sure you’re comfortable
- he just wants you to feel better again because he doesn’t like seeing you this way
- gets so flustered when you wear his shirts and junhui teases him about it
- you made his “lipstick chateau” your ringtone and he screams for you to pick it up the second it rings
- “why would you make that your ringtone???”
- since he complained about it a lot you changed it……. to his girls’ generation cover of lionheart and he was like oh. my gosh. i give up
- the type to go like “race you there” and does fricking backflips while racing with you and you’re like wtf
- honestly an amazing listener
- you could rant to him for hours on end and he’d just listen attentively while giving great advice every now and then
- loves cuddling but he’s shy so INITIATE IT AND YOU’LL CUDDLE FOR HOURS
- actually really loves holding your hand and makes excuses to hold it like “ohhh my hands are cold”, “hold my hand so i don’t get separated from you” and you’re like minghao you’re so obvious lmao
- scolded you when you tried to copy his b-boying because he was afraid you were going to get hurt
- hugs and finger hearts
- tells you he loves you in chinese
- surprisingly really protective of you like once he went to the washroom and when he came back out he saw this guy flirting with you
- he normally doesn’t like confrontation but the SECOND he saw him touch you, he walked over and pulled you close to him
- “sorry to interrupt you, but we’re leaving now. punk.”
- seeing him this way made you feel all warm inside
- his dream is to one day take you to china with him to meet his family and explore all the places and take thousands of pictures together
- gets you thoughtful gifts like once you told him you needed new socks because your current ones are all gross and ripped up
- and the next day he showed up with a little box to give to you and when you opened it, there were like four pairs of socks and you cried
- minghao gets nervous when you cry of happiness because he thinks it’s of sadness and he’s all like “did i do something wrong?? did i make you cry??”
- asks mingyu and seokmin to teach him how to cook your favorite meal so he can make it for you
- minghao is honestly the kindest and most thoughtful boyfriend ever, he cares so much about your well-being and always makes sure you’re smiling when you’re together
- he may feel homesick sometimes and he may get exhausted from practicing for days on end and he may be lacking several hours of sleep
- but the second he sees you
- he knows he’ll be all right
- “repeat after me: (in chinese) i love you minghao”
- “(in chinese) i love you minghao”
- “(laughs) (in chinese) i love you too”

Wedding Date (Steve x Reader)

Originally posted by damnedbuckybarnes

Author’s Note: It’s wedding season and all of my friends are getting married (one of my best friends got married last week and I cried. A LOT) and since I’m still kinda recently single my mom has been my wedding date and I’ve been trying to find someone else to be my date and so anyway, this idea came to me, so here you go! Also, I spent a lot of time trying to decide whether to do this with Steve or Sam so I might do a little something special for Sam soon.

Summary: You friend has a wedding, you have no date, and Tony has a big mouth.

Warning(s): Wedding, drinking, family, and some fluff

Words: 2,302

Y/F/N - (Your Friend’s Name)

Keep reading

Seventeen Reaction to: Their S/O Singing in Their Native Language

wjsn version: here!

S.Coups: After you tell him you felt like you sang badly, he goes into fatherly leader mode. “No, listen to me, you did good! I don’t know what you were saying but it sounded really good! I wanted to cry and throw roses at your feet but the boys wouldn’t let me. So don’t think that, that’s silly. You sang perfectly!”

Originally posted by withjunhui

Jeonghan: He’s such a caring person that he does everything he can to reassure you before you start singing, that you have no need to be nervous. If you’re not nervous then he’s probably even more excited and hyped than you. He has nothing but bright smiles and kind words to say when you finish singing, clapping louder than everyone else.

Originally posted by jeonghan-1004svt

Joshua: Smiles from ear to ear out of happiness and pride. He doesn’t mean to brag non-stop but he can’t help himself, telling everyone about how well his baby can sing.

Originally posted by lovejoshua17

Jun: *ignore the captions haha* He watches in awe and fascination, wishing he could understand you but feeling like he doesn’t need to. Music is a language in itself, that can break down all barriers so while he may not know the words, he understands and is so proud and adfghlka look at you, singing, so cute and precious.

Originally posted by wooziwithlove

Hoshi: He could sense your nerves so he wanted to make you smile and relax, doing dorky things to make you smile. While you perform a powerful ballad, he starts dabbing as if it were an upbeat song. Soon, the other members join in and now there’s a group of boys dabbing in the crowd.

Originally posted by sebongies101

Wonwoo: Melts into squishy goo. He’s so impressed and amazed, his insides turning to mush. He can’t do anything but smile as he watches you sing.

Originally posted by fyeahwonhui

Woozi: Can’t believe how beautiful you sound, singing in your native tongue. “Maybe we should do a song together?” he offers. The fact that he’d let you in on his most favourite activity, music, shows his admiration and love of you.

Originally posted by mountean

DK: ”You’re so good, maybe I should ask Coups to let you join Seventeen? It’s not like we have enough members already!” He’s joking but a part of him is seriously considering it. He could have you around all the time and hear your beautiful voice … Hmm, if only it were possible.

Originally posted by mystarsandmoonhao

Mingyu: Rushes up to you when you finish, wanting to be the first to congratulate you on your excellent performance. “Great job! You need to sing for me more often from now on ~”

Originally posted by visual-17

The8: Had recorded your performance and watches it over and over. He’ll show the others too, wanting to show off his talented baby.

Originally posted by wonnhao

Seungkwan: When he overhears a spectator comment on how “weird” your native language sounds, he’s in attack mode and ready to FIGHT.

Originally posted by veryubejam

Vernon: Wants to show his support but also embarrass the hell out of you so he’s centre of the dance floor, jamming out to your song. When you finish the song you’re like “lol who’s that guy I don’t know him?? security??”

Originally posted by wonnhao

Dino: He’s feeling the vibe, not only proud but in awe of you. S.Coups tries to tame him but Michael Chanson has been unleashed. There is no stopping him now.

Originally posted by performanceunit

“Hey You”

Hey you, it’s really good to see you,
I’ve got so much to tell you,
But you should know, I’m doing fine

Hey you, had a story to tell you
But honestly, I can’t even remember
Really doesn’t matter

Never seen you this happy,
Never seen you so peaceful
Even though you can’t hold me
Hurts you, hurts me, that you’re here

And when the days are getting dark, nights are getting hard
I see you
And when I laugh until I cry, I don’t even know why
I feel you

Hey you,
Funny thing, I found that old t-shirt
We’d thought you’d lost it, it’s still the softest
You know it made me put on your favorite Radiohead song
It took me back to, when we were driving, down Laurel Canyon
Too fast, you know you never slowed down

Final days were the hardest, I didn’t think they would be your last
Hope you know I forgive you, give anything to get them back
But know that everything’s okay,
I’m doing okay without you
I know you had to go away,
I’ll tell you everyday, I miss you.

Hey you, I know you always like to get the last words in
Before you go, you should know
I love you more
I said so

Distractions pt 3

Pt. 1 || Pt. 2 || Pt. 3 || Pt. 4 || Pt. 5 || Pt. 6  || Pt. 7 || Pt. 8 || Pt.9 || Pt. 10 || Pt. 11

Yoongi x Reader

Genre: Not really angst or fluff…I don’t really know

Summary: It was weird seeing him again. It was even weird knowing you’d be working with him, but you kinda had a feeling like it was going to be okay.

Word Count: 1721

Warning: like one use of the f-word…does this really require a warning?

Originally posted by bangtoori

“You wanted to see me?” 

“Ah, Yoongi. Yes, please take a seat.” Yoongi gladly accepted Bang PD’s offer and took a seat in front of his desk, “I wanted to talk to you about something. You see, I owe a friend a favor.”

Psh ‘favor’, Yoongi thought, Bang PD must’ve lost another bet again. He really should stop betting while he’s drunk.

“He needs help with something, and I think you’d be able to provide help.”

“What kind of help?”

“Well, you mentioned how wanted to try to produce for other artists. Since promotions are finished, and Bangtan isn’t working on another album yet, I thought I could give you an opportunity to help produce a song for another group.”

“Group? As in another idol group? Who…”

“You know 2S? The group under Music Box Entertainment?” Of course Yoongi knew, “They need help with a title track, and I offered to allow one of my producers to go do some sort of collaboration. So, how about it?”

Yoongi took in what Bang PD had to say. It was true, BTS wasn’t working on new music yet and he did want to try to produce for another artist. But he didn’t know how to feel about seeing…you. He knew this was a good opportunity to expand his credentials and gain more experience, but was it worth opening up a wound from years ago? 

Keep reading

You’re sitting next to me, brown eyes and brown hair, watching the sun go down.
“I think, I loved you”, I say suddenly, also looking at the sun. “I think, I really did and I’m sorry that I never told you.” You’re not saying anything for minutes but it’s okay because we haven’t talked in a long time and the silence is comforting.
“How do you know?”, you asked after a while and looked at me. Then you took my hand.
“I didn’t know it while we still we’re in touch. It was after that. For months I couldn’t think about you without starting to cry. I was so ashamed for letting you go. I missed your voice and your touch, your smiles, your voice when you were crying, I missed the essays you read to me because you felt insecue. And then I started to dream about kissing you and it made the hole in my heart even bigger. Later on I saw you were happy again, happier then you were with me and I was fucking jealous of the person that could make you smile even brighter and laugh even louder. But I couldn’t go back to you. You were happier with her then you were with me. And your happiness was more important than mine. I think that’s when I realised I was in love.”
—  excerpt from a book I’ll never write #1 // c.j.

anonymous asked:

Yo I was wondering, how would Caleb and Chloe respond to/perceive someone else's nostalgia? For example, if someone was reminded of the smell of their grandmothers house, or a piece of their childhood that was extremely important to them but they know they'll never see again. Would Chloe see or smell the place they were thinking of (since memories are heavily tied to scent)? What color would Caleb describe nostalgia as?


So, first off…I’m going to answer this for Caleb. I’ll leave Lauren and/or Anna to answer on Chloe’s behalf…but I have thoughts on this. I’m going to mention a little story here…


A month or so ago I was out to dinner with my boyfriend. After our evening of IKEA meatballs and Lingonberry drinks, we decided we wanted to grab dessert somewhere. So we decided to go to a bakery in Burbank that I had never been to before…

After jamming out to some classic Cartel in the car, we arrived and walked into the bakery; I froze immediately. I froze immediately and in about five seconds I was crying. I’m not even kidding…I was full on crying. I was crying because the inside of that bakery smelled like my Great Gram’s house (she passed away 10 years ago and we were incredibly close). 

In that moment, when I stepped inside that bakery, I smelled a smell that I never thought I’d experience again; a smell that I didn’t know I missed. It all just hit me and I started crying. I was so grateful for that moment because in the span of a minute I was hit by this flow of happiness and sadness as I reflected on memories of me, my brother and my Great Gram.

So…the reason I bring this story up is because I don’t think “nostalgia” is necessarily an “emotion”…but I think it can be “a vessel that carries us down a river of emotions” (cheesy wording…but true AF).

…and therefore, my answer: While I don’t think nostalgia can necessarily be felt by Caleb as an emotion/color all by itself…Caleb, as he matures, has been able to begin to identify combinations of emotions and what those combinations might mean. Think of it like each color is a word in a sentence and the full sentence describes the complexity of a thought or experience (like nostalgia). Actually! Even better…anybody here see ‘Inside Out’? As the character Riley gets older…the colored globes in her head evolve from single colors (blue for sadness, yellow for happiness) to mixtures of them. I think Caleb in all of his fits and starts of emotional maturity (he’s a teenage boy…so…lots of fits guys) he is learning to translate combinations of emotions into more intangible concepts like “nostalgia”.

In The Bright Sessions, Caleb has said things like “Orange and smothering” I believe, to describe emotions like pride or protectiveness…and I think that’s a result of the emotions that make up that intention mixing together to produce a color that can be perceived and communicated to describe that concept.

So…there ya go! My thoughts on that. I Hope it made sense! 

- Briggon

vy-bear  asked:

💜?

Ah… this isn’t even going to be vague. Those who have followed me long enough will already know who this is about.


Could have, would have, should have.

I don’t know if I could have ever returned your feelings- I don’t think I will, or ever want to fall in love again…but I’m so happy that we tried to stay friends. I’m so happy you somehow reached my heart, despite the barrier I’d put up around it. I’m so grateful you saved my life when I was about to let myself go to waste earlier this year.

There’s so many things I wanted, and still want to say to you. To tell you. To laugh and cry about with you. There’s so much we were supposed to do together, so many things I wanted to experience with you..

but I guess I’ll just have to carry you in my heart now.

I miss you so much.

Without you

I really am just a Faith without her Amelia.

But I’ll be alright.

9 reasons why

                                                              1



Hi This is Tony Padilla.  

You can adjust whatever sound system or format you are listening this to. And by “you” I think I only mean one person.

Don’t worry Clay.

This isn’t like the first set.

I am not trying to be disrespectful.

I think Hannah gave me the courage to do a lot of things.

Mainly, she made me realise I wanna be honest. Honesty matters but so does the truth.

If she could pour her heart out

I wanna as well

these are the 9 reasons why to…well, you will hear it at the end of the tape. Don’t worry. I am not doing anything.

This won’t be like last time

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Y'all the bts concert was amazing. The boys seemed to really enjoy performing for us and interacting with us. The reactions the fans gave them were so encouraging and you could see at the end of the concert that some of them were starting to tear up. Especially Rap Monster, Jimin, and Yoongi. J-hope was being extra the entire time (and he kept speaking English to us). Jimin’s high notes were on point and his English was super adorable. Jin’s voice was so beautiful to listen to live and Awake was bomb. Rap Monster killed Reflection and he really seemed to be super happy to see us American ARMYs. V threw water at the crowd (I think J-Hope did too) and it wet my friend. He also killed Stigma. I cried when Yoongi did First Love. You could tell he was pouring his heart into the lyrics. Jungkook almost made me cry with Begin but the dance break was dope. He also got an American flag at the end of the concert and was running around with it on stage. The encore stage was perfect. The entire show was perfect. They were so happy to be here with us American ARMYs, and we gave them all the love they deserved. This concert was absolutely wholesome and 100% lit and I hope they enjoy the other four they have left in America.

This gives me life ….

I wanted this moment for so long, im crying …. my babies … they’re finally together <3

Since the last week chapter, I still feel all of this like a dream … until now, each time when I see this I think it more like a dream. Maybe this is a silly feeling, but im really happy! I love this two so much, since the first time i saw them ….

I hope they’re were so happy! They deserves it! Now I’ll begin to think some headcanons!

Plus for King’s wings! That lil wings are so cute! So tiny <3 i hope they’re grow up soon!

What We Created (9)

Sebastian Stan x Reader (pregnancy series)

Summary: A one nightstand with the one and only Sebastian Stan changes your life and his forever

Word count: 1,308 (short because sadly the storyy is coming to an end)

Warning: fluff, gender reveal

A/N: Seriously so sorry for taking this long to update. I started real estate classes and my first day i took so many notes my hand started swelling. Life is really draining me right now, on top of keeping my Instagram and YouTube updated and getting ready for college. I hope you understand. Hopefully part 10 comes faster than this part did. Also lets pretend Anthony Mackie has social media, okay?

What We Created Masterlist

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