i cry on a daily basis because of you

Kim Seokjin : Occupation - Kindergarten Teacher


♥(ノ´∀`)Happy Birthday @caramoccii / @ask-seokjinnie !

sap & shit under the cut

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Google made me proud today.

A little while ago, I was on a mission to show a friend of mine the best doggo in the world, Chica. I began to type ‘mark fischbach chica’ and as Google tried to read my mind, as it always does, I froze and tears welled in my eyes.

‘mark fischbach changing the world’ now at this moment I was mid sentence on Skype so my friend started to panic slightly because of my sudden pause. When I finally found my voice again I explained what had caught me off guard. To which my friend replied, “Why did that hit you so hard? The guy does charity work right?”

Years of watching Mark, all the skits, all the let’s plays, all the goofy stuff that falls in the mix as well, even if I didn’t necessarily like the video or find it particularly funny I always watched from beginning to end to show my support for his channel. Not because I was staring at his face [though he his a looker], not because of being his biggest fan [though I’m probably up there], not even just to have background noise [I like to actually watch the videos]. I would watch them in their entirety because maybe the money made from that time watching that particular video would enable him to do his next big event that would save people’s live by giving them the hope they had lost, fund another charity so its research could go on and maybe even find a cure, all of that and more.

Today I watched his PAX East panel, not in person sadly but live on twitch. At the end when it appeared he was going to break down and cry [all while I’m pointing and screaming at my TV for him not to cry over and over again because though I know he’s crying because his heart is full of joy and pride, it makes me tear up too, dang you Mark] His ending remarks both filled me with happiness and sadness.

Mind you now in the Skype call, showing pictures of Chica has fallen to the back burner [sorry Chica-bica] and I had began rambling about all the different charities Mark has helped raise awareness and money for, how his channel has become this massive community full of love and kindness and were only able to what it is today because no matter what video you click on of Marks, be it his oldest videos or one he posted a few hours ago, behind those dick jokes, infectious laugh, screams, two-finger defense strategies, and everything else; he’s still just a man who wants to change the world.

My exact words before the Skype call was ended with my friend saying I’m gonna go check out this guys videos [got you a new subscriber Mark! Woo!] were, “I froze when I saw that come up on the auto-complete search results because it’s amazing. I froze and damn near started crying my ****in eyes out because this man who one a daily basis calls himself a goof and acts exactly like a goof, is changing the world. Whether it’s meeting a sick child who is a fan of his videos, doing a live stream, going out and meeting his fans and doing skits that include them, answering questions at conventions, or just making people like me be able to smile from the comfort of my home and give me the strength to fight impulses that would be damaging. He preaches over and over again that to him we’re the heroes, hell he put it on the sleeves on his charity shirts, he’s too humble to admit that he is the hero or that he’s made his friends: Bob, Wade, Jack, Ethan, Tyler, etc. heroes as well for pushing for the goals with him and all coming up together with new and amazing ways to both entertain and improve the day to day life of everyone who will watch and listen.” 

I sat here for a few minutes minutes, got my screen cap cut down to size, made sure it wasn’t too illegible. As I began to type my post, my Skype rang, it was my same fiend from before. I imagine the time lapse between end of call to now beginning of new call was maybe a total of two hours give or take.

I answer and all I hear are tears. I am instantly in [who do I need to kill] mode. After they calm down they explain they just searched for emotional play through’s. My mind immediately goes to ‘Presentable Liberty’, ‘That Dragon Cancer’, ‘Anxiety Attack’, among many others I could think of that could be labeled emotional. 

After an awkward silence they asked, “What possessed this man, who has known such great tragedy and loss in his life to do everything he does for others.” I smiled, we were on video chat so they saw and then looked at me with confusion. “The answer to that one is easy, I think he’d agree. He’s seen difficulty, just like all of us, and THAT is why he continues to do it. He strives to make the burdens of this world less heavy on our shoulders, he raises money so that the sick can be mended and go home and play with their friends, he makes personal vlogs looking into each and every one of his fan’s eyes, tears brimming with whatever emotion he’s conveying so we all know he is there for us, he is proud of us, and he will never stop working to change the world.”

My friend nodded at me then told me they were gonna go rest on it, maybe watch a few more videos before laying down. I just made a terrible joke about FNAF [I will spare you the joke, trust me, it was bad] then the Skype call ended once more. 

Now I’m left here with these thoughts in my head. Earlier I mentioned the PAX East stream, one of the things Mark said before leaving the stage was, “When we’re gone, you’re next.” Now this turned into jokes being made and all that because that’s what Mark and his friends do, they cut up and have a good time. It was the way he said it that stuck with me. Like he’s prepping all of us to take this bright, burning torch when he decides to step away from youtube as a career and that brings him almost to a blubbering mess because of all we’ve shown him we can do so far, I think he believes that whenever that time is. Whether it be a year from now, two years from now, or more; he knows that the community that he never dreamed he would have and be part of will continue to do what we do best, because we learned it from the one and only Markiplier.

Change the world.

anonymous asked:

I know it's almost the end of fear friday, but I'm gonna prompt anyways. Also, awesome blog!!! post-CW Tony and Peter are together, and he has joined the Guardians in space. They have become his 2nd family. But he's waiting for them to leave him eventually cause he thought the Avengers were his family and look what happened there.

Thank you so much ! :)

___________         

“Tony i need your help.” says Peter when the monster comes directly towards him.

“Kinda busy myself Starlord.” replies Tony and flies around the monster. It looks like a octopus but its green and really slushy. Tony hates it.

Monster in space are even weirder than on earth.

“Tony for real…” begins Peter but then the monster buries him under one of his…tentacles and Peter is gone. Tony screams at that and the next moment the monster gets him, too.

It takes every one of Tonys weapons to kill it and then Tony sinks to the ground.

“Petey?” he asks worried but there is now answer.

“What the fuck happened?” says Rocket who lands next to him. Tony shrugs. He can’t speak.

“I am Groot.”

“Yeah i know i saw it but i don’t believe it.” says Rocket to Groot and Tony leaves his suit. He runs around, looking for Peter.

“Guys! I got him. He is here.” says Gamora and Tony sees how Drax help her to get the tentacle away from Peter.

Peters eyes are closed and Tonys heart stops. Oh god. This is his fault!

“We need to take him to the ship.” says Gamora and Drax carries Peter. Tony feels numb. He follows them but doesn’t say anything.

“Do you feel his pulse?” asks Drax when Gamora check it and she nods. But she looks still so worried.

Nobody speaks to Tony when they go back to their ship.

Tony knows why. He fucked up. Again.

*

Half an hour later Tony is in his room on the milano and packs his things. He is going to leave. It was his fault and even if Peter is not dead he is only hurt because of him.

Tony wanted to face the monster and shot it down. That why he didn’t help Peter. But thats a ridiculous excuse.

There is a knock on his door and Tony looks up as Yondu comes in.

“Hey son.” he says and then sits down on Tonys bed. Yondu is kinda Peters father and he will definitely beat Tony up for that stunt.

“Hi.” mumbles Tony back. Sometimes (only when he is alone and had a bad nightmare) Tony images that Yondu is like father for him, too. Well technically he is his father-in-law.

He is not sure how old Yondu is exactly but he always treats Tony really well. That is going to change now.

“So you wanna leave?” asks Yondu and points at Tonys suitcase.

Tony nods at that and Yondu sighs.

“Why?” asks Yondu and Tony can’t help but sniff at that. He doesn’t want to cry in front of Yondu.

“Look son. I know you feel bad about what happened to Peter. And believe me when i say that he will be okay. He is sleeping but you can go see him if you want.” says Yondu and Tony looks still at his suitcase.

“I…hurt him.” whispers Tony when the first tear falls on one of his shirts.

“No you didn’t. The monster did.” says Yondu and he sounds really carefully. Its almost strange.

“Why don’t you hate me?” says Tony then and Yondu laughs.

“Because your are my family.” says Yondu and shrugs.

Tony snorts.

“We are all family here. And sometimes bad things happen in a family, but that only makes us stronger you know? I know that Peter can’t talk about his feelings very well. He gets that from me. But i know that he isn’t angry at you. And he wouldn’t want you to leave.” says Yondu and Tony looks at him.

He is still crying and Yondu smiles sadly at him.

“I had a family once.” whispers Tony then. He is not talking about his parents, because that wasn’t a real family.

But the avengers. And he fucked that up. They left because of him.

“They didn’t deserve you. But Peter is much happier with you and i know that you are happy here, too. So don’t run away because of one mistake. God knows how many i made and Peter is still saving my ass on a daily basis.” laughs Yondu and he holds his arms out.

Its rare that Yondu does that. But Tony loves his hugs. He cuddles into him and breathes.

“Thank you.” he says and Yondu just laughs.

“Peter also gave me that for you.” says Yondu and holds up a paper. It just says ‘Yes i still love you, asshole’ with a smiley face. Tony laughs.

When they had their first fight as a couple Tony had said that he would only believe Peter if he wrote his ‘i love you’ down as proof. It was a silly thought but since then Peter does it every time.

“He still loves me.” says Tony and he pets the paper carefully. Then he puts it on his wall. Yondu laughs.

“I can’t believe i’m saying this but we all love you, you damn human idiot.” grins Yondu and Tony sticks his tongue out at him.

“And now get your ass over to Peter!” says Yondu and Tony runs out of his room.

Yondu shakes his head at the boy and starts packing his things back in the cupboard. What a mess.

RIP Kahaley-Khaz Modan (US) - She was a wonderful person and friendly companion to spend time with. I raided with her in Warlords and partly into Legion and she finally succumbed to a brave, many-years-long battle with cancer.

I still cry sometimes because it’s so weird thinking that someone you interacted with on a nearly daily basis is now gone. Cherish your friends and hold them close. We love you Kahaley, and we will miss you. Rest easy.

Dating Bucky Barnes would include

-being the only one who’s able to cut his hair
-he’ll fight anyone else who tries to do it
-but not you, because reasons
-reassuring him about his arm
-kissing his scars every night before going to bed
-a little distance in public
-but lots of PDA in private
-not many people know this, but he REALLY loves cuddles and kisses
-so that’s exactly what you do
-making magnets out of your face
-and putting them on his metal arm
-“this way everyone will know that this hot piece of ass is off the market”
-“…babe”
-cute nicknames
-buying him a mobile phone so that he can call you when there’s an emergency but you’re out
-him calling you 12 times just because he misses you
-he still doesn’t believe you when you say that you’ve liked him ever since you first met
-“aaaww you had a crush on me, doll? That’s embarassing”
-“we’ve been dating for almost a year”
-“still”
-LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE MAKING
-but he’s up to other things too if you know what i mean
-,,,,,,,that metal arm works wonders,,,,,,,,,
-introducing him to netflix
-netflix and chill means watching netlfix and chilling
-you knew this after a v awkward conversation you had with him after asking him to netflix and chill with you
-binge watching Stranger Things
-“HE’S NOT DEAD IS HE”
-“babe calm down, you’ll see”
-“BUT HE’S JUST A CHILD HE DOESN’T DESERVES IT”
-you two being into paranormal stuff
-which leads to scaring each other on a daily basis
-which again leads to cuddles and kisses, because he feels bad for scaring you
-you intentionally being overdramatic about the scares
-the team being really weirded out by your realtionship
-but they see how happy you make each other so they deal with it
-i love bucky barnes
-please get me a bucky barnes

So this is my first post hello, i hope this doesn’t suck but just in case please be nice i’m v sensitive i’ll cry

Dealing With the Monthlies

AN: I should be working on something else (an ongoing story, that essay I have to do if I want to go to college next year, etc.), but I’m writing this instead because I’m on a plane heading for Texas and my uterus is being an enormous bitch. Don’t have your period on an airplane, children, it’s absolutely horrible. Anyway, this is for my friend @tyranny-mutt, who has helped me improve my writing in many areas. And by ‘many’ I mean 'one’, but it was one that sorely needed improving. This is for you, dude.

Title: Dealing With the Monthlies

Summary: Kaiba and Yuugi aren’t dating. Really. They’re not. Yuugi’s only over there so often because Kaiba wants to Duel. They only slept together a couple times. Okay, maybe a lot more than, that but they aren’t a couple! Too bad Anzu isn’t buying it. (In which Yuugi suffers and Anzu forces Kaiba to be a better not-boyfriend)

Genre: Humor/Romance (for a… given definition of those words)

Characters: Kaiba Seto, Mutou Yuugi, Mazaki Anzu, Kaiba Mokuba Thief King Bakura

Pairings: Rivalshipping (Kaiba x Yuugi), implied Slateshipping (TKB x Anzu) (leave me alone I need this)

Warnings: Trans male character (Yuugi), not-straight people (everyone), a complete and total loser (Kaiba), and the Ultimate Mom Friend™ (Anzu)

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senpainoticedmebeforeitwascool  asked:

Love you Sebby <3 For the requests, I dunno why, but "Why are you like this?" Came to mind! Have fun~ I hope this helps!

THANK YOU, I LOVE YOUUU! (this was actually fun, by the end of it I feel like I found Killua, again!)


I’m shaking. I’m shaking so fucking hard and I can’t stop.

Jesus fucking christ! Keep your shit together, Killua!

I use the sleeve of my hoodie to wipe blood away from the corner of Gon’s lips. Being careful as possible, using my other hand to palm his chin, gently as possible. He flinches when I get too close to an injury I can’t see. My teeth grind at the influx of adrenaline coursing through me.

“Killua, are you–”

“You know,” my voice comes out shakier than I want it to. But I fucking hate violence and I’m still reeling from the fist fight I pulled Gon from. “there’s this thing in combat called defense. It’s all about not letting people hit you.” Idiot. Idiot! How could you be so stupid as to get into a goddamn fight?!

“I can take it.”

My hand pauses in its movements and I seek out golden, brown eyes.

“Why are you like this?” I speak through clenched teeth, pulling Gon closer by his chin. I rest my forehead against his, my blue melting into his swirling hazel. “You can’t use your fucking fists to solve everything, Gon!”

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Jack's Right

I can safely say that the world is definitely full of shit people who make crap decisions and some of them even pride themselves in doing so. It’s hard to find the positive sometimes, it really is easy to fall into a bitter cynicism when faced with the worst of what humanity can be.

But if anything, it’s because of seeing the bad nearly on a daily basis, I find myself looking harder to find the amazing things that are out there and let me tell you, the world is definitely still filled with wondrous things. There are movies that make you feel you can take on the impossible. There are games that make you cry. There are books that take you away to new places. It’s that smile on a stranger you complimented, that hug from a family member or that moment a pet wants to sleep on your lap. There are days where you can relax on the grass and think about nothing and other days where wrapping up in a blanket and listening to the rain is the best feeling in the world.

As much as we see destruction, creation is very much present in our lives. It’s in the photos you take, the daydreams you fall into and the ideas you think up out of nowhere.

The world isn’t full of rainbows and butterflies but it’s up to us to go and seek them out to make it a little brighter.

anonymous asked:

8, 14 and 65 for Seungcheol? :3

Long distance + Jealous + “I’m not letting you go until you stop crying.”
1. I took the beginning of the phrase off because of how this turned out ;;
2. This got a bit angsty but I hope you like it!


You had watched countless movies of long-distance relationships, but for some reason you’d always believed that it wouldn’t be as difficult as some movies made it seem. You were determined that it could work out if you only loved and trusted each other.

Of course it had been tough when Seungcheol had moved elsewhere, it was a nightmare. You’d been so used to falling asleep in his arms and seeing him on a nearly daily basis, so it wasn’t exactly a surprise that you cried yourself to sleep the first night. You never said anything to Seungcheol about it, but he called you every night anyway, to make sure you were fine and to let you know that he loved you more than anything. For one reason or another, the calls didn’t exactly help you get a peace of mind, not when all you needed were those arms around you and that calm voice whispering close to your ear without a phone in between.

Needless to say, you had rather soon realized that long-distance relationships could be just as difficult as movies portrayed them. The times Seungcheol didn’t answer to your calls or was too busy to video chat increased as time passed, and the gnawing feeling in your stomach grew with the lack of communication. What was he doing and what had gotten him so busy, and most of all, why didn’t he say anything about it? All those damned movies planted images of another girl in your mind that you desperately tried to shrug off.

However, now he was coming to visit you for two weeks, finally on a break from his college. You were waiting at the airport, clutching the handle of your bag and trying to stay as still as you could from the shaking of your body. You hadn’t seen Seungcheol in three months, and the latter half of that time you had barely even spoken to each other. Daily calls had become weekly and your weekly Skyping sessions had only occurred once during those six weeks. Even so, you had been positive that you would be happy when you saw him and it’d be an all in all great moment.

What you hadn’t prepared for were the tears that escaped your eyes as soon as you laid your eyes on him when he came out of the terminal, a big bag hanging from his shoulder and eyes searching for you. Your heart was beating frantically and you took a hesitant step forward, drying your tears with your forefingers only for more to fall down. By the time Seungcheol reached you, you had your face hidden in your hands, and he hugged you close without a word.

“This must’ve been tough on you,” he said, voice deeper than you remembered, and sighed. You nodded with a sob, moving your hands from your eyes to his back and took the fabric of his long-sleeved shirt into your fists, pulling him closer and wetting the front of his shirt with your tears.

“I’m so sorry, I’ve been so busy lately,” Seungcheol mumbled, caressing the back of your head with one hand and your back with the other. You nodded and sniffled.

“You should’ve said something,” you choked out, relieved by the fact that he was there, looking healthy but tired, as well as the fact that he acknowledged the situation, at least on some level.

“I didn’t want to worry you,” he said quietly, stopping the movement of his hands and focusing on the fact that you were there, close to him, like he had only dreamt about for the past three months.

You pulled away from him and stared into his eyes, your own red and puffy, you assumed. “Worry me? Do you know how worried I’ve been when I haven’t known where you’ve been and with whom? You live so far away and suddenly not talking to me was–”

Seungcheol silenced you with a gentle kiss that had you melting in an instant. A few more tears ran down your cheeks, but he dried them with his thumbs.

“Anyway, let’s just go,” you said when the kiss ended and pulled yourself away from his touch. He grabbed your wrist and pulled you back into a comforting hug.

“I’m not letting you go until you stop crying,” Seungcheol said, voice soft yet determined. You sighed deeply and relaxed in his arms, wrapping your arms loosely around his waist. “I love you so much, Y/N, it’s been the most difficult thing in my life to be so far away from you.”

You lifted your head so that your chin was resting against his chest and you were looking up to his eyes that were glistening with tears. You moved your linked arms from his waist to his neck and tip-toed to kiss him on the cheek, after which you hugged him tight, your chin resting on his shoulder as you exhaled, your heart finally in peace. “I love you too.”


Admin Scooter

just wanna give a SHOUT OUT to literally everyone on my
dash for being absolutely fantastic at what you do. honestly
it’s such a gift scrolling through tumblr every day because i
am just surrounded by talent and i always find myself
grinning as i look through all of these… PHENOMENAL
people on a daily basis.

Each and every one of you is an inspiration to me. KEEP UP
THE AMAZING WORK <3

adrenalizinq  asked:

What do the X Men / Avengers / BOYS U WRITE ABOUT fixate on the most? Like on a date what do they notice. (I have a personal head cannon that Peter Parker notices hands, because he's always stressed about accidentally webbing you when he holds your hand & Steve notices eyes because his eyes say so much)

OH MY GOD THIS IS SO GOOD!!! I think you’re totally right about Peter Parker and Steve, eyes are the window to the soul ;) Here’s just three guys I thought of! 

Kurt Wagner: He would LOVE someone who’s easy to make laugh or who shares his same carefree sense of humor, personality is everything to him, because it’s what matters most. The best times when when you’d be together, laughing so hard about the littlest things. Honestly you’d both cry from laughing on a daily basis, and the fact that it annoys everyone else in the mansion, makes it even better.

Peter Maximoff: Peter would love holding or touching you in someway. Not to an extent it being overbearing, but just because despite acting completely independent and confident all the fucking time, he really does need someone to keep him anchored. He also just always likes to know you’re safe and will reach for your hand on missions just to help calm his nerves.

Hank Mccoy: Hank would undoubtedly be all about your amazing smile. He loves seeing you happy and he loves making you happy so every time he sees that smile he can’t help but fall in love with you all over again. Cheesy, but Hank is honestly one big cheese ball of adorableness.

This list was short I apologize, but thanks for this awesome question!!!!! :D XX

anonymous asked:

do you think robert is amazed by aaron on a daily basis? do you think he will be more amazed if aaron forgives him? or will he forever feel indebted? robron's current situation makes me think of the song 'i'm not done yet' by fever ray, because i'm optimistic and despite the fact he's a complete bellend 65% of the time, i can see roberts pov and i think that song, the lyrics, are perfect for him.

nonnie!! NONNIE!!!!! i’m just trying to go about my business, why are you attacking me with songs like THIS?????

So, I lost my head a while ago
But you seem to have done no better
We, we set fire in the snow
It ain’t over, I’m not done

Some do magic, some do harm
I’m holding on, holding on
I’m holding on to a straw

as for your questions, i’d say yes and both. i really think one if not the main reason robert loves aaron quite so much is because he didn’t really believe people could be as strong and brave and resilient as aaron is until he met him. from the start robert was so fascinated with aaron he just couldn’t keep away. and even now aaron continues to amaze him. and if aaron forgives him, on the one hand rob will be amazed and feel indebted, yet on the other he’ll probably (or i hope so) feel like he doesn’t deserve it. still, he won’t be ready to walk away from the best thing that’s ever happened to him.

One thing I know for certain
Oh I’m pretty sure
It ain’t over
I’m not done

This is a late #blackout post, but I wanted to share. I MADE IT! I am so freaking proud of myself! High school was so hard for me. The other day I was reading a letter I wrote to myself the first day of high school and it listed two goals “1. Become the debate captain. 2. Graduate with honors.”
I am so proud and grateful to say I have surpassed both those goals.
In the realm of debate: I became the captain of the debate team. I became one of the highest ranked debaters in the state twice. I placed at the state tournament in debate twice. I placed first or got first speaker at several debate tournaments. I got a quadruple ruby degree of superior distinction from the National Forensic League.
I am also proud to say I have had academic achievement as well. I have earned numerous awards including an award from Yale. I have being recognized for my writing skills by the National Educator’s Association. I have stayed on the A honor roll my entire high school career. I am an AP scholar with distinction. I am starting college with enough credits to be considered a sophomore. I have lettered in academics four times. I have 12+ academic and achievement letters. I got student of the month four times in my science classes (the only ones which do student of the month at my school). I was a three year member of National Honor Society and the National Spanish Honor Society. I got the award I have been vying for since I was in fifth grade: the Presidential Academic Fitness award. I graduated with honors.
I succeeded in areas where I didn’t even expect. Not only was I captain of the debate team, but also the science Olympiad team, editor in chief of my school paper, vice-chairperson of my city’s youth commission, and even started a couple of clubs.
I succeeded in personal growth as well. I have made friends who have been the back bone of my growth and development. I got rid of toxic friendships, and the friends I had were those who supported my journey to excellence. I have a squad which helps me grow intellectually and emotionally–we are all excellent and on the journey to succeed more. I began to identify as a feminist. I became more politically and socially aware, and as I like to say “became woke af” on racial and geopolitical issues. I also began a journey of self-acceptance and growth with self-love at the center of it all.
My future looks bright as well! I got accepted to multiple selective schools, and got a full ride to the one I chose to attend. I am a Dean’s Scholar at the school I am attending.
Overall I am grateful for my high school experience. I have had it pretty difficult. I was the only hijabi at my school for a long time, and only this year did I become one of two black Muslim hijabis out of 2,220+ students. In my AP/honors classes I was the only Muslim for most of the time, and definitely the only black Muslim hijabi. I have dealt with anti-blackness and Islamophobia on a nearly daily basis. I have been discriminated against, and vastly underestimated. I have felt like I haven’t achieved anything.
However, if I learned anything it is that my people are always my biggest supporters. Anytime I see a black excellence, Muslim excellence, or Somali excellence post on social media I begin to cry, because I feel like their success is my success, and I hope anyone who sees this feels the same way. To the kids in Somalia, Palestine, Pakistan, Afghanistan and all over the world who live in fear and oppression I say this from the bottom of my heart; this is for you! To the Muslim women all over the globe who are told no more often than yes (especially my black Muslim sisters), this is for you! To the immigrant children who live for making their parents proud this is for you! To Deah, Yusor, and Razan and all those we have lost far too soon who have inspired me and motivated me this is for you! To the people of the umma who have let me share in their tragedy and success this is for you!
There is so much more to achieve, but I feel ready.

It´s too late. It´s all over now.

Even though this isn´t very long, it kinda took me a while to write, because I´m always having trouble with Sam one shots.
I hope you´ll like it anyways.

Pairing: Sam x Reader

Warnings: None

Length: 1592 Words

{Imagine dreaming of being with Sam every night.}

Originally posted by samwinchesterappreciation

Enjoy!

You were smiling at Sam, holding his hand, as you two were looking down at the city in front of you, lights blinking, cars honking, people talking, and yet you two were totally alone up here on the fire escape of an old warehouse Sam had brought you to.
“This is perfect”, you whipsered and he put an arm around you and squeezed you a little.
“Just the best for my girl.”
You laid your head on his shoulder and enjoyed the smell of him, the sound of his breath, the feeling of his hand on your rips.
“(Y/N)”, he murmured quietly and when you lifted your head, he put a finger under your chin and came closer…

“(Y/N)?”, you heard his voice again, which was making no sense at all, because Sam wasn´t talking but he got rather blurry suddenly and then you woke up, annoyed and in a bad mood.
The younger Winchester was standing in front of your bed, looking kind of in a hurry: “Common (Y/N), we need to get going. We´re supposed to meet Dean in about two hours and we still have like 300 Miles to drive, so no time for sleeping in.”
You mumbled something that sounded a lot like: “Bite me”, but he didn´t seem to hear it because he just tossed you your small bag: “Here you go, I already got your stuff, now get dressed and we can leave. I´ll wait in the car.”
When he shut the door behind himself, you let yourself fall down on the bed again, sighing frustrated and asking yourself what was happening.
You always had these strange kind of dreams lately.

They all were about you and Sam and they didn´t even involved any sex, which you could have at least understood, considering that the Winchesters were pretty handsome, but not this romantic crap.
That simply wasn´t you.
Realizing that Sam was out there, waiting for you, you got dressed quickly and brushed through your hair, attempting to at least make yourself look like you got enough sleep.
The effect was rather weak though and when you sat down in the car Sam had stolen yesterday, you didn´t even try to hide your bad mood.
Sam chuckled: “What happened to you? You look like crap.”
“Well thank you Sam”, you snapped and closed your eyes, pretending you were trying to get some sleep so you wouldn´t have to talk to him.
You were pretty confused about the whole dream stuff, because you simply weren´t able to act normal around Sam anymore.
You didn´t even knew how to be friends with him anymore.
The dreams were always in your mind, the kisses, the sunsets, the midnight dances, the citys at night.
This was just wrong. You didn´t dream about stuff like that, and you most certainly didn´t thought about that by day.
Sam seemed to get that you weren´t about to be a funny companion today, so he stopped talking to you altogether, instead turning on the radio.
Usually you would have been joking with him all ride and it would have been so hilarious that you would have laughed so hard it hurt, but these times were over now, completely ruined by the fact that you weren´t able to control your feelings.
Almost twenty minutes passed, without anyone saying anything, when Sam suddenly turned the radio up a notch, maybe because a song he liked came on or something, but you were pissed, and you didn´t care why he did it, it just annoyed you even more so you opened your eyes and shouted: “Turn it down, would ya? I´m very tired because you made me search for some stupid none existing ghost all night, and then woke me up at like six in the morning, to get with you in this friggin car, to drive 300 Miles only so we can chase another pointless clue.”
He looked pretty taken aback: “(Y/N)…”, he said, but you cut him off: “Don´t talk to me right now. You know what? Don´t talk to me at all.”
And that was what seemed to flick the switch, and he stopped the car with a screeching noise in the middle of the road and turned to you: “What the hell is wrong with you?”
You snorted: “There´s absolutely nothing wrong with me, thank you very much.”
He shook his head: “Of course there´s something going on. I know you (Y/N).”
That was exactly the wrong thing to say, so you just shouted: “You don´t know shit”, and jumped out of the car and simply started walking.
You could hear him get out of the car too, but you didn´t stop, didn´t turn around, just kept walking until he caught up with you and grabbed your wrist.
Immediately you pulled away: “Don´t touch me.”
All anger drained out of his face at this moment and he just looked sad now, making you feel kinda uncomfortable.
It was easy to  be mad at him when he was being annoying, but it wasn´t easy when he was just sad.
“(Y/N), please talk to me”, he said.
You just stood there, you´re arms crossed above your chest, looking everywhere but at his face: “Why should I?”, you finally managed to say and this time you looked in his eyes, seeing the sadness and desperation.
“Because”, he started, “We used to be best friends. You used to love spending time with me in a car, singing to silly songs, making fun of people we met on the case, talking about what we would do if we had a lot of money.
You used to hug me, every time I came back from somewhere, as if I had been gone for an eternity.
You used to wait for me in your room of the bunker, to play some late night jenga, when you knew I was having trouble sleeping.
I miss that. I miss my best friend. I miss you.”
His words were so honest they hurt you deep down in your heart.
You didn´t know what to say and just continued hugging yourself. After a while he sighed: “I just want to go back to that.”
Your vision suddenly went blurry and you cursed yourself for being about to cry, but when a tear slid down your cheek, you didn´t even bother to wipe it away:
“It´s too late”, you whispered, “It´s all over now.”
If it would have been possible, you were sure you would have heard his heart breaking, because he simply sounded so hurt that you could barely stand it.
“But why? What did I do?”

And that was it. That was it what brought you back to reality, what showed you that Sam deserved to know:
He took the blame. He took the blame as he had done his whole life, with everything that had happened around him, and you couldn´t, wouldn´t let him carry the guilt for this around too.
“I had some weird dreams lately. Dreams in which we are kissing, and in which we are together, and I kinda don´t know how to act around you anymore, because I always have to think about kissing you and stuff.
I don´t know where this is coming from, but I can´t think about anything else anymore, so I thought it would be better to shut you out completely.”
Now it was out. The whole and ugly truth.
You had told Sam Winchester that you dreamed about being with him almost on a daily basis and what did he do?
He laughed. He laughed so whole-heartly, that it sent a joyful shiver down your spine even if you knew that you were supposed to be mad about this.

“There´s nothing funny about this”, you finally said and you had to sound pretty on edge, because you were about to cry even more now.
Your voice stopped him from laughing and he just smiled at you: “There´s everything funny about that. You stopped talking to me, because you have feelings for me?
I thought it was something I couldn´t fix, but this is something I will definitely be able to fix.”
You attempted a weak smile, somehow feeling a little bit better now:
“And what are you gonna do?”
Instead of answering you he kissed you, sweet and careful, exactly as you had always dreamed of.
He grabbed the sides of your face with his huge hands, and you couldn´t help it, but leaned in to him, laying your hands on his chest, as you let yourself being pulled into the kiss and into everything that was attached to it.

After what felt like hours, he finally pulled away and smiled at you: “I´m going to do this. Everyday for the rest of my life. However long that might be.”
You just stood there, your hands still on him, thinking of something to say, when suddenly a loud honking sound made you jump, and an old truck drove by, the driver shouting out of the window angrily: “Get a room ya stupid kids and don´t block the road.”
This was what broke the spell and you cracked up, right along with Sam.

You laughed so hard, all your senses were occupied with it, and when you finally stopped, it felt as if every bad emotion that was ever there, was gone.
Sam just smiled at you and you smiled back saying: “Dean´s waiting for us.”
He pulled you back to him: “So what, let him wait”, and then he kissed you again.

@snicketsquadron liked for a post-canon starter!

“Is she awake?” Dewey asked furtively as he finished getting dressed for the day. There were many questions he had to ask himself on a daily basis. “Have we been found out?” was one. “What’s that noise coming from room 786?” was another. A third, “How long will I see you before you have to go?” but the one he liked best was “Is she awake?” because the answer, sooner or later, would always be yes, and the question that followed was “How did I get this lucky?”

He listened for the telltale signs of crying or babbling coming from room 925, but there were none, not yet. It was still the early morning. They had a while yet. The frogs had stopped singing outside, Frank could be heard complaining about some guest or other on his way down the hall, and there was still so much to do.

But unlike before, where there had only been distress, there was hope. The world was still burning, but the quiet hadn’t been lost. Not yet. 

relne  asked:

“I was born the day you kissed me. And I died inside the night you left me.”

{ @relne }

She’s not going to cry. She’s  NOT  going to, because she forbids it. This is a mantra that Ymir has known for as long as she can remember. When she curled up in a filthy alleyway, her stomach practically  d e v o u r i n g   itself after another unsuccessful day of begging, she told herself not to cry. Shhh, quiet…don’t let anyone on patrol know that you were there, because the soldiers that surrounded her on a daily basis were FAR more terrifying than starving to death.

The hour-long march through the streets while being pelted with rocks had left her whispering to herself– don’t cry.  &  When she found herself stuck in the body of a monster, feeling the old familiar STING of STARVATION as her instincts told her to   FEAST! FEAST!!  she had to remind herself…not to cry. In every single situation, she had failed…miserably.

She’d been a sobbing orphan, dirty shirt stifling her sobs as she chewed it with hopes of tricking her stomach into believing she was eating. That hour-long march had felt more like an eternity, every moment spent crying fruitlessly and begging her tormentors to STOP! STOP!! Every day she’d spent as a prisoner in her own distorted flesh was spent SHRIEKING inside of her mind as one day stretched out to decades.

This time is no different. Facing the woman she’d fallen in love with long before she’d ever even met her, Ymir grits her teeth as she feels the old familiar tingling in her eyes. Historia. She was never so weak as when it came to her beloved Historia. Shutting her eyes tightly and ignoring the hot streak of tears running down her cheeks to connect beneath her chin, Ymir recalls that day so well.

Ymir had signed up for night patrols the second she’d seen ‘ 𝑪𝒉𝒓𝒊𝙨𝙩𝒂 𝐿𝒆𝙣𝙯 ‘ written on the posted sheet, content to spend some time alone with her in the dark. She could even remember the way Historia had beamed at her when Ymir had casually brought up that they’d be on patrol together the following week. Damn…could that girl ever steal the breath right from her lungs. Leaning against one of the walls, surroundings lit dimly by she and Historia’s lanterns, they’d been discussing something so inconsequential– she can’t even recall with certainty anymore, it had been that unimportant in the grand scheme of things. 

Was it something to do with how to properly shine your boots? Or…what they’d liked about that morning’s breakfast? It was small talk, it didn’t mean a god damn thing outside of that moment. Then Historia had laughed at…some snarky remark Ymir had made, turning into a blushing bundle of giggles. Ymir’s eyes widened as she watched, mesmerized. 

             So this is how true goddesses laugh…I had it all wrong that whole time…

Before she knew what she was doing, Ymir had jerked forward and gripped her beautiful face between her hands, holding tight as she leaned down to seal their lips together in a tender kiss. Her heart had erupted in her chest the moment their mouths touched, and she waited in utter terror to see if Historia would kiss back or pull away in offense. When she kissed back, Ymir finally knew what the word  RAPTURE  meant.

Then she remembers the night she left Historia behind, for her own good and…because she was positive this would be in Historia’s best interest. What did that girl need Ymir for? Ymir, the nothing child with a blasphemous name, the same name that garnered her love had also gotten her stoned in the streets. The girl who was so emotionally stunted that she had pushed Historia away that night to grab up her lantern and head off to check the perimeter. Ymir could never be what Historia needed, and so she went with them…to ensure her safety. Because humanity meant NOTHING without her existence…nothing. As it turned out, she regretted NOTHING so much as she regretted leaving.

It was a regret that she thought she’d never be able to rectify, until fate took pity on her. There was so much adrenaline pumping through her that the memories of her escape were blurry and unreliable. It didn’t matter though…all that mattered was that she now stood in the same room as her goddess, and she is given one more chance to find happiness. There is no doubt in her mind, however, that her happiness can only be reached if Historia is there to experience it with her. There is no one she would rather share her joy with, than the woman she loves.

“I’m…I’m sorry….for turning you into a ghost, Historia. I had my reasons…and every single one of them revolved around you. I’m not sure I can ever…explain myself properly in words though. It was based almost entirely on…feelings rather than concrete thoughts. I don’t deserve your forgiveness– I wouldn’t even if I could apologize properly. When I joined the military I promised myself I would never BEG again. But here I am…begging you to forgive me all the same. It would be…such a k-kindness, not to……not to turn me away.”