i cry every time i listen

i don’t know why i thought you’d understand
maybe it’s so addicting that i’ve  gone blind
but forget it, it’s whatever

they underestimate how much pain you have to be in to continue
they underestimate how hard it is to stop

and you tell me you care and you’ll always be there
blah blah blah, filling my head with lies

does anyone else ever notice that it rains every time you cry?
hello?
are you even fucking listening to me?
it’s no biggie
nobody else does

there might be scars on my heart and lines on my wrist but that does not mean i will accept your bullshitted niceness

some songs that remind me of victuuri

there aren’t a lot bc the music i’ve accumulated over the years is more quirky than romantic, but anyway

cut for long post with lyrics and links and shit. come listen and cry with me. or just laugh at my shit music taste, you decide

Keep reading

We’ve watched the first episode and we really felt as though something bad was going to happen…
Mark: It’s prefigured. You start with the sharks and then you go into lots of light-hearted fun. But it’s important to think: ‘This is not going to end well.’ I was listening to people sobbing in our first press screening – that’s a very good reaction.

Are you two still moved to tears, despite knowing what’s coming up?
Mark: Oh, I cry every time with episode one. That one shows what fun the duo have, but that events have consequences… It’s about the past coming to get you. And there are at least two scenes in episode two that make me cry. And I always cry at a certain point in episode three…
Steven: Episode three is the finale of finales.

—  The Sun

“I was listening to people sobbing in our first press screening”


“Oh, I cry every time with episode one. “


“And there are at least two scenes in episode two that make me cry.” 


“And I always cry at a certain point in episode three…”

fuck

fuck

fuck

fuck 

fuck

fuck

fuck

things that are still laced with you:

1) my playlists. I have so many songs written in notebooks and saved on my computer that remind me of your brown eyes or your laugh. they all have our songs in them, the ones we shared with each other and the ones we found together. sometimes when I feel empty, i’ll listen to them and let myself cry, just so at least my chest is filled with sadness than nothing at all.


2) my sweaters. every time I slip one over my head I can feel your arms and a whisper as light as air. you always said I looked particularly adorable in those hoodies, the way they were too long for my arms and how they hung loose past my hips. they still smell like you from when it was raining too hard and we’d cuddle to pass the cold. i’m just afraid that my sweaters will always feel like you, and nothing else.


3) my photo gallery. I still have the pictures we took on dates and the selfies we took at parties, still high off of the adrenaline and laughter. they come in groups, taking stabs at my heart as I scroll past them in my photos, I can’t bring myself  to delete them, they make me too happy before my ribs start to crack. I wonder if you’ve already deleted them off of your phone.


4) the box in my drawer. we both away went to opposites ends of the country, and we were so in love that we needed a way to hang onto each other. we wrote to each other in notebooks to give at the end of the ten days. we never got around to exchanging them so the wrinkled pages are sitting in an empty chocolate box you got me for Valentine’s Day last year in my desk drawer. The pins and figurines you gave me as presents sit there as well, too painful to look at yet to beautiful to throw away.

—  things that are still laced with you

“And I’ll defy everyone and love you still,
I will carry you with me up every hill,
And if you die before I die I’ll carve your name out of the sky,
fall asleep with your memory and dream of where you lie” ~The Airborne Toxic Event

Some neighbor aus for ya guys

“Listen, I really don’t like you, but you have kittens, so I’m going to be over a lot.” au

“Would you STOP coming in through the WINDOWS, it scares the hell out of me every TIME!” au

“Listen, we have very thin walls and I heard you crying in the shower, are you okay?” au

“I was very good friends with the guy that lived here before you and basically I was over here a lot and… well old habits die hard, can I stay?” au

“If you set the alarm off in the middle of the night ONE MORE TIME I SWEAR I WI- wait why were you even cooking at 3 am?” au

“You burst through the door because you thought you smelled smoke but it was just incense, listen you’re paying for that buddy.” au

“You locked yourself out too?” au

“Hey, I locked myself out, can I use your phone?” au

“You bake when you’re stressed and sometimes you give me cookies, but recently you’re giving me whole baskets each day, now I’m not complaining but are you okay?” au

“I don’t mean to sound paranoid but I’m pretty sure you’re a serial killer.” au

4

“When my oldest daughter was 17 years old, and preparing to go to college, I had another little girl named Sunny. It has been the most amazing experience to raise up one little whippersnapper, have her grow up and leave the nest (not really), and then segue right into another little girl.
I learned a lot the first time around, and I think I am a little better at being a present papa. But, it’s not about me, it’s about her.
Every morning when I get up bleary-eyed and stumble into the kitchen to make her breakfast, and tell her: “for crying out loud stop fooling around and go brush your teeth!” And we do our morning dance and drive to school listening to the terrible pop music that she likes, I know in the depths of my being, that nothing ever could make me happier.
I am in awe of my kids, and to all the other papas out there I sayhooray!” - Flea about Sunny. - 14th June, 2014

  • Flea attends “Inside Out” premiere with his daughter Sunny Bebop Balzary. -  June 8th, 2015. - Hollywood, California. 

CARLOS IN “CONDOS”:

Cecil? I was thinking about the series of ongoing actions that we perceive as the present, and the amassing of memories that we treat as the living record of the past and the hopes and dreams and assumptions that we project as the future. I was thinking about time. And about how it means something to so many people, and about how it’s so finite, and also so infinite. I was also thinking about space. About how it is nothing, and then, a point which is just a single spot within the nothing, and a line which separates the nothing into two nothings, and how a plane is a patch of nothing and an angle just where two nothings meet, but all those things combined, with an object of points, lines, planes, and angles, an object with length and width and depth that can take up actual space. Until that object becomes something made of nothing – within nothing. An object can be a wall, a floor, a roof, a bed, a table, a dog, a door, a rug, a…a home. And then, I thought about how a home is just a group of objects connected by a shared personal experience of time – our past, our present, our assumed future. A home is…I mean, uh, scientifically speaking, speaking form the point of view of mere facts and logic, and um…hmm. You know, what with science, and all…uhhh, I– I– I just thought it was…time for us to…make a home together.



CARLOS IN “TOAST”:

Well, science is neat and I still believe that. But I know now that a lot of things are neat. Having a quiet breakfast with another person is neat. Calling someone over to experience a particularly noisy sunset is neat. This town is neat. Night Vale is neat. Love is neat. Love is, is very neat actually and um, and you are neat. [emotionally] That first night when we sat on the trunk of my car and looked at the lights above the Arby’s? When I got up to leave I looked at you, and I tried to think of how to say everything I was feeling. But I’ve never really been good at describing feelings, I’m only good at describing facts, and love, love isn’t a fact. You know? Love, it’s it’s a hunch at first and then later it’s a series of decisions, a lifetime of decisions. That’s love. And, I didn’t, I didn’t know how to express that and so I just said: “I’m glad I decided to call you.” [tearing up] And now, um, tonight, I say I’m glad again, for this decision and, all the decisions that will come every day after. Which is to say, scientifically speaking of course, speaking from the point of view of mere facts and logic and you know, what with the science and all… I just thought that it was time for us to make a life together.







transcript from cecilspeaks.tumblr.com

I’m tired of beautiful artistic films full of complex emotions and etc etc that tell the stories of complicated, tragic, windswept lesbians and bi women in period dress gazing longingly at each other and having thinly-veiled flirtations over gloves or whatever

I want an all-lesbian and bi girls season of The Bachelorette, I want drunk lesbians crying because another drunk lesbian got the Bachelorette to touch her boobs in the hot tub and some sneaky bi girl keeps interrupting the other girls one on one time with the bachelorette and everyone is like “I really think I’m falling for her! She’s just a really special person and I don’t know if these other girls are here for the RIGHT REASONS” and every week there’s a rose ceremony cliffhanger and at the end the wedding ring is fucking GINORMOUS and hideous

Like listen: I want all the cultural trash that straight people take for granted, but like, with women who like women, exclusively. I want that. I want one of the WWE divas to kiss a girl for REAL and not just as a weird fake-out to distract an opponent before doing something super illegal. I want that butch girl on this season of ANTM to make out with one of the other girls and I want it shown ON CAMERA and I want them to be like “yeah bitches we’re the power couple of the house now DEAL WITH IT”. I want a lesbian designer on Project Runway who doesn’t get cut in the first three episodes because she doesn’t like designing evening gowns.

bts as boyfriends ; taehyung

Originally posted by jeonsshi

   1/7. the inexperienced boyfriend.

  • quite possibly the cutest
  • takes things slow.
  • holds your hand a lot. 
  • even when its sweaty
  • his is sweaty too
  • rubs his thumb over your knuckles
  • he’d see you from across the room and give the BIGGEST smile
  • you smile when he smiles
  • nervous laughing
  • he counts your skin stars
  • and then compare them to his own
  • traces your skin mindlessly
  • he’d want to get close to you but be too afraid of scaring you off
  • constant state of should i do this or do this… 
  • he’d treasure you a lot 
  • most likely to send you cute pictures of himself to make you feel better
  • a very good listening ear when you need one
  • a nice shoulder to cry on too
  • nervous kisses. tentative kisses
  • nose kisses, butterfly kisses, eskimo kisses
  • he’d call you when he’s nervous
  • “i just wanted to hear your voice”
  • VERY good with long distance. he’d call you nearly every day and night and make the time for skype calls
  • once he’s told you he loves you he never stops
  • he’d lay his head in your lap and play with your hair
  • he thinks you look good in everything 
  • records your favorite programs to watch together
  • planned movie nights
  • sharing secrets
  • meaningful kisses…
  • nose touches. bonk!
  • he’d want to listen to your heartbeat
She was 17 and never learn to smile.

Originally posted by spn-imagines-ig

Originally posted by all-you-need-is-spn

Warnings: Angst!! Crying, cramps and mentions of a suicide.

Notes: This is my story for the last prompt of @one-shots-supernatural, “With this face I can get away with anything”. Sorry for this guys, this is really sad, and I’m still not sure of why I wrote it… But I hope you like it, even that is a little different from what I’m used to write. If you want, read this while listen “"Where did Jesus go” by the Pretty Reckless. 


Since the first time she met the Winchesters, Charlie knew they were special. And every time they met, she confirmed this thought. They were like brothers to her, and she was definitely sure she was like a sister to them.

And yeah, she was super close to Sam, but with Dean… It was a strong bond that she simply couldn’t describe. Under that bad boy who doesn’t care for anything and only lived for hunting pose, she knew that he was a sweet man. And even though it annoyed her a little, she liked that he was so overprotective towards her. Because nobody else in her life after her parents death ever was.

Charlie went to live with the boys for a while, and in this months she noticed something at least… Interesting. Every time they for some reason (mostly in cases) had to deal with a teenage girl, Dean would bond with them. Not that she was jealous, not at all. But… Why? He would become very caring and overprotective every single time. First her, then Krissy, a teenage hunter, and even Claire, Cas’ daughter. Maybe he had a dream about having a daughter? Maybe he was just so sweet? Nah… She knew that it wasn’t just that.

“Here.” Dean said extending her a white pill and she frowned. She and the boys were in Sam’s room watching the new season of Game of Thrones when Dean got up saying he was going to the bathroom. “For cramps.” He explained.

“How the hell did you know I had cramps?” She exclaimed surprised and confused. “And why the hell do you have cramp pills?”

“Charlie, you haven’t stopped moving since we started watching. Pretty obvious, isn’t it?” He said struggling, making her and Sam exchange a look.

“Not for me, Dean.” Sam said confused too and Dean sighed.

“Whatever, I’m tired, I think I will go to sleep.” Dean said giving them a small smile. “Night.” He left the room before she could even answer. She looked at Sam with a confused look and he struggled.

“What’s up with him?” Charlie asked taking the pill that Dean got her. She had no idea he understood so much about woman to identify cramps, and again, why did he have pills for it?

“No idea.” Sam said but suddenly something clicked in his head, making his heart hurt. Dean always got this mood when that day was near. “Oh… What day is it?”

“Hm, may eleven, why?” She answered more confused and she frowned when Sam sighed lowering his head.

“Nothing… Dean might be tired, nothing to worry about.” Sam said forcing a smile not wanting to talk about the reason why Dean was so grumpy.

“Yeah, right.” She said obviously not believing him and he sighed tiredly. “You won’t tell me? Fine, I will go ask Dean” Charlie said confidently, getting out of Sam’s bed.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Sam warned knowing how rude his brother could get. “He will be mad”

“With this face I can get away with anything.” Charlie said smirking. “And he won’t be mad.” She said almost laughing but deep inside, she didn’t believe in herself. He struggled, deciding not to insist on his advice and Charlie got out of the room and walked towards Dean’s. There was light in his room, and when she slowly opened the door she saw Dean laid in his bed with his headphones on and red eyes.

“Hey… is something wrong?” He asked a little preoccupied, taking the headphones off and she gave him a small smile. She sat in the bottom of his bed and he frowned. “Charlie…”

“Hey, it’s okay, butt head.” She said and he rolled his eyes. “I just want to know if you are okay…? I mean, why the heck did you have cramp pills and…” She started mumbling laughing a little bit and not realizing how bad the hole thing actually was.

“Charlie, can we talk tomorrow? I’m actually tired.” He said interrupting her, mentally begging for her to stop talking. Wasn’t it already painful enough to remember that every day of his life?

“Does it have something to do with the fact that you always bond with teenage girls? Have you ever thought about having a daughter?” She continued ignoring him, and he closed his eyes sighing.

“Charlie…” He tried to warn her again.

“Why do you always treat teenage girls like they were your little sisters…?” With that, he exploded.

“That’s it.” He said feeling the anger consume him, he got up of his bed, grabbing her by the arm and practically throwing her out of his room. “We’ll talk tomorrow.”

XXxxXXxxXXxx

Charlie never in her life expected that reaction from Dean. He was always so open with her, so honest, sometimes she felt that she was the only person to which Dean confessed his feelings. Was she hurt by the event from the previous night? Sure. Did she know she had insisted way too much? Definitely.

In the next day, neither of the boys got out of their rooms, only preoccupying her more. She was mad at Dean, but she also needed to hear her friend say he was okay. Although she knew he wasn’t. Dean and Sam were not okay and she just wanted to help.

She spent the day trying to distract herself in the computer until she finally found the courage to go knock in Sam’s room. She knew that he wouldn’t be so rude with her like Dean had been. At least she hoped so.

“Hey…” Sam said with a sigh and a low and hoarse voice when he opened the door. His eyes were red and it seemed like he hadn’t gotten up the whole day. He probably hadn’t. “C'mon in.”

She sat on the bed by his side and he didn’t say anything until she held his hand.

“I know you want some answers but it’s just so hard to talk about this.” Sam said sighing again.

“You don’t need to tell me anything, I just… Want you to be fine.” Charlie said with a small smile and Sam squeezed her hand.

“No, you’re family, you deserve to know.” He said and she didn’t argue. He took a deep breath before he started to talk again. “Today…today is my sister death’s anniversary.” He said and she frowned. Wait, what? “We were just teenagers when our father appeared with a baby girl telling us that she was our sister.” Sam explained. “Her mother died during labor and dad had to take her, but he never really gave a fuck about her, me and Dean raised her.”

“I never knew you had a sister…” Charlie said shocked with all those informations. Sam gave her a small smile, still looking at the ground.

“We don’t really talk about her… Actually, very few people got to know her. My dad never let (Y/N) hunt…”

“Her name was (Y/N)? That’s a beautiful name.” She said and Sam smiled more.

“Yeah. Dean chose it when we met her.” He said. “But, well, dad never let her hunt and we didn’t either, for different reasons of course. We didn’t let her hunt because it was dangerous, and dad… Because she was a girl.”

“What an ass!” Charlie exclaimed not being able to control herself.

“Tell me about it.” Sam said and she relaxed. “Both of us were always really close to her, but with the years… We started hunting, and she had to stay more and more alone. We… We didn’t see.” Sam said feeling a knot in his throat.

“Didn’t see… What?” Charlie asked when he stopped talking, already afraid of the answer.

“The signs… She always had a low self esteem, but she was…” He stopped to take a deep breath before continuing. “(Y/N) was depressed.” He explained and let a tear roll down his cheek. “One day… We came to the bunker and she was… With her wrists cut open and a ton of orange pill bottles around her.”

“Sam…” Charlie started, not being able to think of anything to say.

“(Y/N) committed suicide, Charlie.” Sam said quietly, letting more tears spill. “Dean blames himself. Every single day.” Sam finished starting to sob, and Charlie just wrapped her arms around him, feeling tears in her own eyes for the little Winchester.

XxxxxXxxxXxx

Charlie slowly opened Dean’s door, seeing him sitting on his bed, looking at a picture in his hands. He didn’t even look at her when she came in. She sat by his side, noticing the picture showed Dean and a teenage girl laughing in the back sit of the Impala. Probably (Y/N).

“She was so ticklish.” He said with a small smile and through his tears, still looking at the photo. He probably imagined that Sam already told her the story of his little sister. “Her laugh… It was the best sound in the entire world, you know?” Charlie didn’t say anything, she just let Dean say everything, she knew he needed this. “Everything in our lives was always so dark… (Y/N) was our light. She was our joy.” He said putting his hand in his face when the cries got worse. “She always would make me smile by telling a bizarre story that happened in her school. But she would never wake up by herself, I needed to go to her room everyday and practically drag her out of bed. That is, when she didn’t sleep with me because of a nightmare.” He said with a sigh. “I was always trying to protect her from everything, but forgot to protect her from the only thing that really hurt her…. Herself.” Dean said licking his lips, looking at your face in the photograph. “If I hadn’t focused so much on out hunts, I could have spent more time with her, and maybe… I would have noticed what was going on, and I could have… Stopped her.” Dean said letting more tears roll.

“Dean…” Charlie finally opened her mouth felling her heart small. “No one can be blamed for a suicide… She knew you loved her, she just… Couldn’t deal with her own mind. It wasn’t your fault.” Charlie said and Dean closed his eyes like he was in pain, letting out a loud sob.

“It was my fault, Charlie! (Y/N) needed me! And I wasn’t there. She was only 17 for god sake.” He said rubbing his thumb in the picture. “I love her, always will. I just wish I had told her that more often…” He said sadly and Charlie took the picture off his hand, hugging him strongly. After a few seconds he hugged her back and cried everything he needed to cry.

“Even though you didn’t tell her, I’m sure she knew.” She said after minutes of silence, just hugging him. “It wasn’t your fault Dean, it wasn’t Sam’s either.”

He gave her a weak smile, kissing Charlie’s forehead.

“This is why I always bond with teenage girls.” Dean explained holding Charlie’s hand but looking at the ground. “Not that I’m trying to substitute her, but I try to do everything that I can do to make them safe…” He explained and she nodded, already have thought about that. “And that’s why there are still some cramp pills in here. Sam never really took care of this kind of subject with her. And she was so stubborn, so I had to guess every time she was suffering from her period.” He explained and she nodded again. “Thank you.” He said with a small smile to her, and she smiled too. “I’m sorry that I yelled at you yesterday… You are so special to me, but I was dealing with so much and…”

“I understand.” She said struggling. “Don’t worry about it.”

“I love you, Charlie Bradbury.” He said and she smiled more.

“I know.”

After a while Sam appeared and they all laid in the bed, talking all night long about the happy memories of (Y/N), and Charlie couldn’t restrain herself from thinking that it would have been nice if she’d had the chance to met her. But she had met the Winchesters, the most amazing humans that could’ve ever existed. And she was more than okay with that.