I’ve been coaxing my fingers into smaller pieces to comfort the pillow by my side but lately every time I stretch towards the ceiling, I feel like I’m pointing to things I don’t believe in. Maybe being sad is a part of my identity. Maybe walking away is how we find the missing pieces. We’re always looking in opposite directions for sights we’ve already fallen in love with, like the paint on the inside of my heart holds caution to one’s beauty. You existed before I questioned who I was. We skipped introductions to cast a vote against our demise. And though I’ve been trying not to cry at the sound of every door, I promise I haven’t left - I’m just not really here… but you won’t get a chance to miss me, because you never leave my thoughts. My heartbeats are just tiny volcanoes waiting to be cooled by you. Regardless if you’re a calm summer breeze or a wet flower in the middle of spring– I’ve been burning five different lifetimes to ask you if we ever meant anything to you. I still sigh when no one is around, it’s the only time I get to hear your name. I don’t remember us anymore and that’s okay. It does hurt less, but does that make me heartless? My soul has not been right ever since we fell off the earth together and these things do happen. I just never thought that it’d end up like this. Sweet summer love still makes for a warm conversation. Spring breaking down my seasons– everything likes to breathe backwards. I’m out of fucks to give. I’m out to get myself. You’re out there without me and I can’t tell if I’m happy or sad about it. Everything we used to smile about just makes me sad nowadays. Like I can’t eat my favorite ice cream without seeing your silly face with that spoon in your mouth. Like I can’t watch my favorite show without realizing that you used to watch it with me. Like I can’t even write a poem because you got me into poetry. Like I can’t even write on Tumblr because you introduced me to this platform. Like I can’t even love the same because my heart still doesn’t know where home is. Like I can’t even break the same because after all of the shit that we’ve been through– it all ends the same way. The love of my life is still a dagger in the dark. I’ll be honest, I still love you and I’m happy that we met– but sometimes, I drive myself crazy because I can still smell your skin. Maybe that’s my insanity finally snapping with the leaves of autumn. Maybe you’re just a reflex and I have too much on my mind to focus on where to go next. We made it possible to love ourselves into hate and I hate that part of this story the most.
For some reason, I like this. It isn’t really anything special or great, but it’s something. I hope you enjoy it, and thank you for being so patient. I know it’s been a while
“Flight 512 to Toronto, Canada has been delayed..”
My eyes threaten to close and I have to keep drumming my fingers against the steel bench in order to keep awake. It’s as though every part of my body - my legs, my arms, my neck - all have the same intention of aching until I cry. I sigh for the hundredth time and attempt to find a comfortable position but to no avail.
There’s a cool breeze coming from somewhere unknown to me, but I realise that the chill down my back is another thing keeping me awake so I don’t complain, despite the mountains of goosebumps that have spread across my arms.
I watch the clock’s hand move round and round its face. It’s as though one minute it was close to midnight and now, as I’m sat on the exact same bench, it’s coming up to three o’clock.
Looking to my left and then to my right, there doesn’t seem to be many people around, only the odd man or woman dragging their suitcase across the floor. I somehow feel as though I’m the only one waiting for the delayed flight. I wrap my arms around my stomach and lean my head against the back of the steel chair, it sends shocks through my neck.
Behind me, far at the other side of the airport, there’s a glass window that fits the length of the room. Every now and then, there’ll be minute flashes of light from the awakening of a plane. Orange would cloud every inch of it’s vicinity.
“Flight 512 to Toronto, Canada has been delayed, we apologise for..”
I refrain from cursing the woman’s voice and sit up for the first time in a long period of time. My legs no longer feel a part of my body and I have to bounce them up and down to begin to feel the familiar static feeling running through them. I wipe my eyes with the palms of my hands.
“Excuse me.” A voice rings through the space I thought was empty and causes me to jump slightly due to the sudden sound.
I look up to see a figure towering over me. It takes me a few seconds to take in their appearance due to the fact that I’m currently seeing stars after having pressed the palms of my hands into my eye sockets so hard.
“Uh, hi,” I mutter, and my voice cracks.
“Anyone sitting here?” The boy points to the seat beside me where my bag lays open, its contents almost spilling out. I think it’s his way of asking me to move it.
“Um, no,” I reply, already grabbing my bag and pulling it onto my lap. I subtly look around the room and see the rest of the benches completely empty.
“Thanks.” He smiles and I’m hesitant to return it, but I do.
We sit in silence, apart from the occasional announcements over the loudspeaker.
When I get chance, I can watch the boy out of the corner of my eye. His dyed-blonde hair is cut short but it seems to be growing steadily, and his skin is tanned perfectly. Every now and then he’ll reach to his right before raising his hand to his lips.
I run a hand through my hair and it’s as though he’d forgotten I’m here and my movement startled him. He turns to me and I can hear a soft crinkling sound. “Grape?” he asks and offers a tub of grapes to me. At this point, I’m beyond confused and shake my head. “It’s cool, I haven’t done anything to them, like poisoned them or anything.” He grins menacingly.
“Saying that makes me think you have,” I say and raise an eyebrow at him. To this, his grin seems to deepen.
“Suit yourself.” He drops another between the barrier of his lips before chewing. I look away and sigh. “Your flight been delayed too?”
I’m confused as to why he’s sat so close to me that I can feel the warmth of his thigh against mine, I’m confused as to why he’s offering me grapes, and I’m startled at the fact that he’s still trying to make small talk.
“I’m Justin, by the way,” he says and offers his hand for me to shake. I suddenly feel my own become clammy.
“[Y/N],” I reluctantly shake his hand and feel the softness of his skin. I appreciate how pleasantly warm it is.
“That’s a nice name,” he says before popping another grape into his mouth.
“Are you travelling alone?” he interrupts me, but the calm and inviting look on his face tells me he didn’t mean anything by it.
“Yeah, I’m going to see my family in Canada. Are you?”
“My family’s up here, I’m heading home. To Canada, actually.”
I nod. “Did you have a nice time?”
He looks over at me and smiles. I can see his eyes moving around the features of my face and I suddenly feel self-conscious.
“I had a pleasant time, yeah.”
“Flight 512 to Toronto, Canada has been delayed, we apologise for the inconvenience..”
“Drives you insane, doesn’t it?” he says and looks up towards the ceiling. I can see the veins working in his neck, I can see the beginning of a tattoo on the back of his neck and curiosity fills my body.
“Tell me about it.”
Another silence falls over us but for the first time it doesn’t seem to be uncomfortable. Every now and then, he’ll raise his hand to his lips while I sit motionless.
“Sure you don’t want one?”
I shake my head as politely as I can and I see him shrug.
There’s another hour before anything changes. My conversation with Justin escalates and it’s evident we’ve both become accustomed to each other, even Justin - who dripped with confidence from the beginning - has seemingly opened up even more.
“There’s a restaurant in Toronto that do the best pancakes in the world, I swear, I could eat them for every meal of the day,”
“I’ve never been a huge fan of pancakes,” I say, crossing my legs and facing him. Justin does the same.
“Try these and your opinion’ll change. Give me your number and I’ll take you whenever you’re free.” He grins.
The grapes are long gone and I regret not taking up his multiple offers because I can hear a monster growling in my stomach.
“It’s a deal,” I smile and he imitates me.
There’s subtle dark marks under his eyes and his eyes look heavy, but his face seems to light up when he smiles and I enjoy watching it happen. It’s like the darkness before the sun comes up from behind the trees and it makes the world seems so much brighter.
“I’ll see you there,” he grins proudly.
I laugh and I can see he’s watching me. His brown eyes are burning into my skin and a flush trickles through my body like boiling water.
“Flight 512 to Toronto, Canada is due at 17:55. Please be ready for departure..”
Justin releases a long breath and sits up straight. “That’s us.”
“Finally,” I say and pick my bag up as it sits on the floor with a swift movement. I feel a strange reluctance to have to leave, despite having spent long enough here.
It’s quiet while we collect our things. Justin is the first to stand and he watches and waits for me while I click the handle of the suitcase into place. He smiles when I stand, he’s taller than me so I still have to lean my head back to be able to see the light in his eyes.
My legs feel as though they’ve been replaced with steel, and I’m struggling to walk beside Justin without feeling aching pains shoot through them. I clutch the strap of my bag tighter in the palm of my hand.
To my left I can see a cafe with a sign saying ’24 Hour’ and it’s as though my stomach knows; it lets out a howl that lasts a good few seconds before dying down again. I chew my bottom lip and speed up when I smell fresh coffee and baking cookies.
“So,” Justin starts. “Were you serious? Would you be willing to give me your number?” He looks down at me and I can feel the warm look he’s giving me.
I shrug. “Why not? You’ve had plenty of time to kidnap me and you’re yet to do so. I think you’re safe enough,” I chuckle and he laughs. His teeth are blindingly bright and I’m only just acknowledging this. They contrast with his tanned skin.
He gives me his phone to which I take carefully and type my number in. He’s watching me and it causes me to have to delete my mistakes with shaking hands.
“I’ll call you,” he says and I nod.
“I’ll be waiting.”
It sounds like a goodbye, even though we’re still walking to the boarding station together, not to mention, getting on the same plane. I can see the dots in the distance beginning to look like actual figures, and as we get closer, I can see that every one of them looks as exhausted as Justin and I. We stick close together and join the group.
It takes another twenty minutes or so before a steward arrives. Justin has taken a packet out of his backpack and I notice it’s filled with cookies. He takes one and I listen as he crunches contently, trying not to let my mouth water too much.
He moves the packet towards me and I smile while taking one at a steady pace, not wanting to seem too eager.
“No problem. I’ve been hearing your stomach growl for the past three hours, I figured I’d help you out,” he says casually. “Here. Take them.” He shoves the packet to my chest and I’m forced to grab them so they don’t fall to the floor.
I blush and say nothing. The group seems to have formed into a queue and the steward is now checking people’s tickets; everyone practically throws the tickets towards the poor man.
I stand beside Justin and munch on a few more of the cookies to rid myself of the empty feeling in my stomach. There’s noise and commotion around us but we stand quietly. Justin’s hand brushes against mine and it’s soft and warm against my own. My heart beats a little faster.
To all the Shawols who will make their dream come true this week and experience a SHINee concert for the first time (or second or third, any time!), have so much fun!! Please enjoy and get excited and emotional and cry and scream and be happy to the fullest, because being there to share the music and love and just pure bliss of seeing our boys perform with other Shawols, and being able to make them feel all the love and admiration we have for them is what any of us would want you to express to them. I think every time a Shawol, in any part of the world, feels that unrivalled joy and warmth in their hearts when seeing SHINee for the first time, the entire fandom is sincerely happy that SHINee has touched another person’s life and for a moment they made it a little bit brighter. So good luck to everyone, take a lot of pics, meet new lovely Shawols and please write the most lengthy acc because I wanna know the exact shade of Kibum’s hair color. :3
“If no one else will defend the world, then I must.”
I’ve been rewatching the new Wonder Woman trailer like 50 times now, and I still can’t get over the part when Diana revealed to the general, on exactly who she is. It resonates so much with me, and it makes me want to cry every time I hear it.
The way she invokes her person and her homeland (”I’m Diana of Themyscira”), her mother (”daughter of Hippolyta”) and what she’s fighting for (”in the name of all that is good”) – it’s not just of sheer conviction, but also deep vulnerability. When you listen to the way she says this, you just know this woman is already prepared to lay down her life, to sacrifice herself, for a strange world that she has probably known for only like, a week maybe.
And this is such a consistent theme across the DCEU, in that the heroes are these grand warriors and powerful beings, essentially gods who walked the earth. They could have had the the entire world at their feet, if they wished it to. And yet all they want is to protect those who cannot protect themselves, to offer themselves up as a shield, to fight for justice and for the innocent. To borrow Tolkien’s words – I do not love the bright sword for its sharpness, nor the arrow for its swiftness, nor the warrior for his glory. I love only that which they defend.
That’s not even going into how we already know that the events of this movie would shatter her faith in humanity, and how we also know that the next incoming World War would just destroy her even more. She would be left alone with that broken faith for a hundred years, but we know that she’s still here, she keeps going on anyway. Maybe it’s not the bright, shining hope that some people like to band about – but it’s still hope, and it’s enough.
this is also very messed up, because sherlock literally infiltrated every little part of my life, and now all of the sudden i have all these devastating, negative emotions connected w/ the show. every time i see the moon, i will think about the gay pilot, and be sad. every time i hear certain songs, i will start crying. every time i want to read a fanfiction, i will have a lingering sad feeling, when i read it.
I feel like every hate/dislike confession on Ginny is because the girls who give them are just jealous of her. Characters EVOLVE, and since she is the Main Love Interest near the last two books people completely lose their shit, like “Well she was a shy girl-” yes, when she first started Hogwarts, but now she’s getting older, of course she’d go from shy and passive to outgoing and ready to smack a twerp in the mouth. She’s part of a WAR for crying out loud, no time to be a pansy.
•They have a box filled with cards written with their wishes
•They’re thanking the fans for the rookie awards yesterday
“IOI members to work hard and meet at year end awards next year. When that time comes, we’ll cheer for everyone”
•The wish Sejeong picked out is for I.O.I members to meet every year at the awards concert
•Yeonjung’s saying that it really doesn’t feel like the 1st day of the last concert
•They’re taking photo with fans
•They said that they cry when they lie on their beds too
•Somi was dancing to ciara??? Yoojung dance popping
•they’re wearing animal clothes
•Dancing to gangnam style in kigurumi (animal onesies)
•They are giving out signed neck ties that they wore and polaroids
•Yoojung asking the one who got chosen to shake the ice cream
•Oh god I think they all recorded a small interview segment for this concert to play as vcr
•Saying their messages to each other
•The girls cried after watching the video
•They’re teasing the fans, saying how they screamed for the girls not to cry but are like sobbing while doing the fanchants
•Doyeon is giving her ments, now, sounds like she’s tearing her up while she’s speaking…
•Doyeon: “Thank you for the support for the past 1 year! Let’s stay happy together and I love you~”
•They’re showing Chrysalis posters in the vcr, and there’s a msg?
•Omg the fans are sobbing already
•VIDEOS FROM THE PARENTS OMG
•"Even though IOI has ended, I hope that all the members can still be close like sisters" - Yoojung’s mom ):
•PRISTIN recorded a video for IOI too. Telling them that they’ve worked hard, asked them not to cry. They ended with, “IOI is the best”
•Somi’s friends and family said the msg in English 😭
•Chungha’s mum’s message :( Her first words were ‘It’s hard right?‘She’s taking her time to say the message, I’m guessing she’s trying to hold back tears while saying her message for the VCR
•The fans are chanting “don’t cry” again, and then it’s another ment session
•Chungha said that her mum doesn’t usually say those kinds of words and she’s crying while saying that…
•Yoojung said that she still can’t believe that it’s happening & that she loves her parents
•Okay Somi received messages from her family members from Canada, and then she broke down too 😭😭😭
•It’s Sohye’s turn and she’s barely getting her words out, awww girlie :(
•Sohye: “I’m sorry I didn’t perform well for the dance performance just now 😭”
I.O.I: “No, you did well!”
•Chungha’s saying that if she has 3 friends in life, she’d have succeeded but she’s met 10 amazing friends and dongsaengs :(
•Sejeong is just crying into the mic already 😭😭😭😭
•Sejeong: “We really have not much time left… We’ve worked hard and I love you girls”
*Sejeong is crying really hard 😭*
Want and need were words that got eaten smaller and smaller: Freedom, autonomy, a perennial bank balance, a stainless-steel condo in a dustless city, a silky black car, to make out with Blue, eight hours of sleep, a cell phone, a bed, to kiss Blue just once, a blister-less heel, bacon for breakfast, to hold Blue’s hand, one hour of sleep, toilet paper, deodorant, a soda, a minute to close his eyes.
this is going to be part of a longer post episode 7 fic but im posting it now because every time i think about jughead crying in the interrogation room without writing about it i lose a year off my life
west of memphis characters: archie, jughead words: 1212
Tuesday he sits down and mutilates his school notebooks, using a heavy pair of red kitchen scissors to take out any strange doodles, any negative words, any pencilled song lyrics that are less than cheerful. His hands shake as he does it, as the HATE and BORED and I WANT THE ONE I CANT HAVE litter the ground around him like snow, spreading out in a semi-circle as he goes further and further back through everything and anything that can be used to incriminate him.
My Filch and Mrs. Norris for this week’s Harry Potter Character Design Challenge :) I know you’re supposed to not like Filch and he’s meant to be a more “bad” character, but I always felt a lot of empathy for him. Especially in the second book when he thinks Mrs Norris is dead and he is so devastated to have lost his only friend. I literally cry every time I read that part. So I wanted to capture a moment with him being happy petting his best friend :) <3
i understand the general comparison of bobby newport and d*nald tr*mp from an archetypal standpoint but every time someone calls him tr*mp part of me dies. bobby was trying his hardest. he just wanted people to be happy. if he saw tr*mp, he would cry.
Another thing gf prepared me for that I was not expecting to be a recurring part of my fandom experience: A character in a position of authority over the protagonists who has slowly been developing a warmer relationship with them is theorized to be one of the bad guys, but after a tense confrontation (involving the confirmation of a secret twin conspiracy theory) the character is revealed to have been working to protect the people they love the whole time. Every single one of their previous appearances now has a new layer of angst to it. Have fun crying about everything they have ever said or done.
I didn’t realize how invested I was into this show until today. Sure, I enjoyed every minute of it -some more than others- and I was rooting for the characters to have a happy ending. But you just know you are all in when you bawl your eyes out crying, not once or twice but three times.
First, I want to say this has been an amazing show with an incredibly cast. And I’m not talking about the main characters but all the actors involved in this project, from the souls Reaper collected to the miscellaneous people Kim Shin helped through his life, Grandpa, Secretary Kim, the Reapers, all of them were part of what made this show so good. All of them played, in the bigger picture, a part unique to them that made the story.
Second, as a photographer this show was cinematography porn. I don’t know who the photographer for this kdrama was but she or he did an amazing job. And the way it collaborated with the view and storytelling from the PD was perfection. I also enjoyed how the Writer chose to tell the story too. She said this is her first time working the fantasy genre, but I think she has proven that when you write stories rooted on real life situations and feelings, with compelling characters, a little bit of magic just makes the show even more fantastic.
So, let’s move on to what happened:
I should have kwon that a show title “Lonely and Great God” would give a sort of happy ending. Kim Shin did get his happiness by meeting Eun-tak and learning how to live. Death is part of the universal human experience and that’s something Shin had to learn how to deal with, because he is a God but one more connected to humanity. He saw his people’s death as a curse when he should have seen that the time they shared was a precious gift. In the end, all the characters passed… but that’s not the end of their story and he knew this better than anybody. I think at the end he learned how to forgive others and himself, to let go of his pain and move on in order to be happy, even if it meant waiting for a little while to meet again those he loves.
Eun-tak had always been living on borrowed time. So, it wasn’t all that shocking that her fate was to have a short first life… doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt like a b**ch watching her voluntarily parking the car in the middle of the street in order to save others. That’s who she was at her core and I’m glad that if she had to go it was on her own terms and not because the Gods were looming over her fate. She choose, out of free will, what to do with her life to her very last breath.
At the end, we all knew Shin and Eun-tak would meet again. I choose to believe they will meet through her four lives. Maybe by that time, the Gods will let Shin go with her. Perhaps he will choose to stay with the big family they created together. Perhaps, she’s mistaken and we have more than four lives. Maybe they will meet over and over, and over again.
Grim Reaper’s life went on with a broken heart. I kinda forget this is a character who is doing a penance and just because he’s freaking adorable and met the love of his life once again, doesn’t mean they will be together. So, Reaper spent his life learning to appreciate and yearn for life, his and others, by watching death everyday for 300 years. By holding on through the pain of being apart from the woman he loved, like he should have when he was Wang Yeo.
Sunny also finally made the choice to let go of Reaper. Even if they wanted to, they couldn’t be together in this life either, the purpose of their meeting -in my opinion- was so that they could make amends and forgive each other. In this life, Sunny chose herself for the first time over everyone else and she went to find her happiness. And I’m sure she lived a full life.
The last scene between Sunny and Reaper broke me. They are my favorite couple from the show and when they met once again to move on to another life, finally together, I started bawling. It was a bittersweet happiness, because I could feel the longing they went through and how much love there was between them after so many lives of missing each other. These two will always be together through all the lives they will get.
But this scene also broke me because Shin was once again saying goodbye to them. Reaper and Sunny moving on meant for Shin to have to wait to meet them again. One of the most developed relationships in the show is definitely the one between Shin and Reaper, their bickering and friendship was one of the main pillars of the show, and I love how they started and ended. They too are meant to be.
On a funny note: I love that Sunny and Reaper met again at the film location of a drama. Probably one that Reaper would watch religiously. And that they didn’t wait at all to become a couple, the Gods listened to Sunny and made Shin’s wish come true: their waiting was short and the meeting long.
My only complain is that I wish I could have seen more of them as a HAPPY couple, because they were always together but full of sorrow and longing… the hotel scene, tough, was incredibly hilarious.
I also want to send all my love to Duk-hwa and Secretary Kim who were always there to cheer everyone, the characters and us, through the sad moments. Even thought I would have loved to see a grown Duk-hwa, in the end, I’m glad I didn’t. He will always be the smart, kind and happy chaebol who goes with the flow and brought many laughters. I just can’t imagine anybody but Yook Sun-jae in the role and I don’t want to. Also, Secretary Kim, he remained loyal to the very end and had a happy and full life as a father figure and friend for Duk-hwa. A guardian angel? The man sure got things done.
As for the Gods, through the 16 episodes of the show, they have proven to be fickle and have bleeding hearts. But I thank them for bringing these people together so we could enjoy this amazing kdrama.