i cry ever time


When I was 16 I swallowed 3 bottles of extra strength pills in my school bathroom because I simply didn’t want to live anymore and I was tired, just so very tired. I couldn’t walk down the halls without being stared at and talked about because the school football team posted things about me online and eventually the rest of the bystanders joined in the harassment. But that’s not what I’m here to talk about, I’m here to talk about how the aftermath of your suicide will affect others in a way that you would never understand. Because you thought no one cared, but they did. So, here’s my story.
 I will never forget the look on my parents faces when they had to sit back and watch their little girl almost die from uncontrollable seizures. They had tear stained eyes and puffy cheeks. But what fucks me up the most was seeing my dad cry. I’ve only ever seen my dad cry twice. The first time was at his mothers funeral, and the second time was when I tried to end my life.
One of the responding fire fighters was a coach from one of my sport teams. And for a fearless man who ran into burning homes as a job, he couldn’t move from the corner of the room because the successful athlete he watched grow up was dying in front of his eyes.
My 2 best friends experienced the hardest part. They were the ones who found my limp unconscious body slouched up against the bathroom stall. They were the ones who had to be physically torn from my side because they didn’t want to let go of my hand. And to this day, they still have nightmares about that morning like it was yesterday.
A girl from my school who had also tried to take her own life earlier in the year showed up at hospital bed and gave me the biggest hug. She cried as she tried to explain how great life is, that image is still stuck in my head.

You see, it’s not about how many people will give a shit if you die. It’s about the ones who would, and how bad it would fuck them up for the rest of their lives. People care, and they always will. Suicide isn’t the cure to sadness. 


→ Catherine de Medici + Francis II, for @cassanabaratheon, Happy Birthday sweet <3


Peter Capaldi being an absolute cinnamon roll and thanking each individual person involved with his happy birthday video! (x)

Thank you to everybody in the world who was kind enough to think about me and send me best wishes on my birthday! Unfortunately,  I can’t get around everybody, and say thank you personally because otherwise there’d be no time left to make Doctor Who, which is what we’re in the middle of doing at the moment. But in the meantime…

anonymous asked:

So what's your thoughts on Kagehina becoming canon? As in do you think it will happen? Or do you think there will be zero romance?

I think they’re gonna become as canon as Furudate can get away with. I don’t think they will ever show some explicit romance between them, or any other of the boys.

The thing we have to ask ourselves is: do we really have to see them kissing to know? I mean, that would be the ultimate blast of course, but I think we have all the evidences on the table already. 

As Hinata said, Kageyama is more than a friend, he’s his partner. I’m sure that, as we advance with the years, Hinata and Kageyama will only strengthen their bond, becoming the most feared power couple in the volleyball world. Will this lead to romance? Probably. But, as for now, I think both of them can’t even start to comprehend the extent of the feelings they are developing for each other, while their destinies are already seared together.

They will become even more canon in the future, that’s for sure, but I think they’ll keep the romance as hided as they could. That being said, since “Haikyuu!! is a Japanese shōnen manga series written and illustrated by Haruichi Furudate that revolves around a high school volleyball team and the relationship between players Hinata Shoyou and Kageyama Tobio”, seeing this relationship openly blossom in the purest form of love between two young boys would be a dream came true. And it will feel incredibly natural, almost unavoidable.

It just needs to be a little thing, like a promise for the future.

“As long as I’m here you’re invincible. And you’ll be. We’ll be. Forever.”

♪♫ it’s raining men ♫♪


                                         ‘Oh the bitten mouth, oh the kissed limbs,
                                     oh the hungering teeth, oh the entwined bodies.