i cried when i was making this

wearetakingthehobbitstogallifrey  asked:

For the angst/fluff prompt: "Do you hate me?" Dick and one of his brothers, either one can say it! <3

Ha. Fluff. That’s a good one. Enjoy the angst.


“Do you hate me?” Dick asks, his chin on top of his knees. His eyes never leave Tim.

Tim closes his eyes and leans back into the couch, inhaling and exhaling deeply.

It’s the first time since Dick came back permanently from his undercover assignment that the two of them could just—sit here and talk. And, when Dick had said talk, Tim hadn’t really thought they were actually going to talk talk. He’d just thought it was a ploy to get back on Tim’s good side. Maybe a bribe or two, a few hugs and smiles.

Instead, Tim gets a big brother who looks so lost. A lump grows in his throat the longer the words linger in the air between them.

Do you hate me?

“No,” Tim says honestly, and he opens his eyes to meet Dick’s on the other side of the couch.

Keep reading

Google search: how to fill the mother shaped hole I have in my chest.

What do I fill it with? I’ve tried
taking the most maternal pieces I’ve found
in my therapists and stuffing it into my chest
like toilet paper in a bra but something
always goes wrong. Blood seeps
deep into toilet paper rapidly & then becomes
more danger than gauze & I can’t help
but remove it from my heart because
the maternal parts of the therapist
didn’t belong there in the first place &
everyone knew it except for me.

Google search: how to accept the fact that I will never have the mom that I have always needed.

That no matter what I do or say,
or how much I plead with whatever power
lives up above and decides what happens
here on earth to give me a re-do or
to give me a woman here who will take on
the mother role,
I will never have the mom
I have always needed.

Google search: what is it going to take for me to move forward knowing I will never have what I need?

What has to happen for me to stop
taking a blade to the soft flesh of my wrist
every time I don’t get what I need?—
every time I look for a mom in the eyes
of the nice woman working at TGI Fridays or
the dental hygienist who cleans my teeth
& wipes a tear from my cheek while I shake
in the dentist chair & tells me
I did a good job when it’s over or
every time a person who my mind has
already labeled “fill-in mom” doesn’t
fit inside the mother shaped gaping
wound in my heart.

What has to happen in order for me
to stop searching for love inside eyes
that do not have what I need inside them?

What has to happen in order for me
to stop emptying myself out when those people
who I want to love me like a mother loves
her daughter don’t have that capacity?

Google search: tell me a good story about your own mom.

Tell me about the time when she
rubbed your back & sang a lullaby to your
sick, aching heart. Tell me about
how she made you chicken noodle soup
& stayed home from work with you
because she loved you & wanted to do
nothing more than help you
feel better.

Tell me about the time when
you fell down & scraped your knee &
you went crying to your mommy & she
grabbed a pretty baindaid & kissed
your bruise & said, “all better!”

Tell me about your first break up & how
your mom came home early that day
with ice cream & trashy movies &
held you in her arms as you cried
until you had nothing left in your heart but
the love of your mommy’s soft touch.

Google search: how to make it stop hurting so much.

I can’t go a day without feeling this
missing piece inside of me & some days
it aches less than others but on the days
when the aching has total hold of me
there is no relief. No one can do anything
to make it better; there is no word in the world
that could save me from the pain of knowing
that I will have to live the rest of my life
without the love I needed maternally.

I need to find a way to stop hurting;
a way to make the world stop turning on the days
when the pain takes control of my body
& all I can feel is the way my mom’s touch
was a bullet & she was the gun &
I need to find a way to make the noose
around my neck loosen its grip before
I suffocate inside the truth.

Google search: the truth is that I’ll never have a mom. How do I accept this? How do I move on? How do I live without that love?

Google search: the sadness is overtaking me.

One night, my mom was in a good mood & she came into my room to sing me to sleep—she never did this, it was a new thing. I was laying in bed & she was sitting on the carpet next to me, leaning her back against my nightstand when she began to sing.

“Close your eyes and I’ll kiss you,
tomorrow I’ll miss you,
remember I’ll always be true.”

I felt my eyes begin to fill up with tears, though I wasn’t sure why & feelings were never safe so I hid it & pretended I was fine.

“And then while I’m away,
I’ll write home everyday,
and I’ll send all my lovin’
to you.”

I could not control it, I let out a loud sob & said,
“Please don’t leave me mommy! I promise I’ll be good, I’ll do anything!” & my mom grabbed my hand & said, “don’t worry, Baby, I’ll never leave.” & when she left my room that night I laid in bed & cried & cried & didn’t know why.

Google search: why do the good memories hurt more than the bad ones?

Why am I still crying at that song
by the Beatles & the memory of my mom
grabbing my hand & assuring me
she would never leave when
I’m now an adult & can see
all the awful things that my mom did to me?

Google search: how to stop wanting a mommy like the version of my mommy who randomly sang to me.

—  GOOGLE SEARCH: MOMMY, (han hyland)

..

leto-gkika  asked:

I just found out from the previous ask, that you said you were running out off ideas for inktober. I will totally agree with amolecularmachine that your art is FREAKING AWESOME!!!. Seriously I love it so much, because you draw beautifully with ink and of course in general, I don't know how you do it but keep it up!!!*hugs*

I don’t deserve you or @amolecularmachine or @endae

Ford definitely makes up excuses when he cries too, right?

9

disney meme [7/9] characters➞ judy hopps
“ hey, officer hopps. you ready to make the world a better place? ”

You’re driving me wild, wild, wild
You’re driving me wild, wild, wild
You’re driving me wild
(Wild, wild, hey!)

Wild - Troye Sivan

Instagram

8

kuroo tetsurou ✩☾

   [ ⏤ requested by @kuroostetsurou ]

6

✨ 🌸 mildliner inspired study playlists🌸 ✨

blue pack (cool)

  • mostly instrumental music for improved concentration
  • best for “chill” study sessions i.e. re-reading lessons, rewriting notes, making annotations, flashcards etc
  • of cool breeze floating gently into the room, causing the edges of curtains to flutter. you look up from your notebook and notice how quiet the world is, how clean your desk is. books are neatly stacked in a corner; the vase has fresh daisies in it. you can hear your soft breathing in the silence.
  • everything is so calm, and yet you’re crying.

pink pack (neon)

  • for when you have something due at 7am and it’s already 4am but you’re just 50% done RIP
  • no really why did you procrastinate???!
  • YA SO TIRED BUT YA GOTTA GET THAT A
  • gotta have some power POP instead of power NAP
  • “I swear I will never do this again!!!”

yellow (warm)

  • nothing really matters in life anymore; you’re just numb™
  • but you still have to study because people expect so much of you; you expect so much of you
  • this is sitting in a room feeling tired and lonely, pale sunset light surrounding you. this is thinking you’re too old for your body; that everything good has already happened.
  • this is flipping absentmindedly through textbook pages, re-reading every sentence twice because your mind is elsewhere.
  • and maybe this is about remembering something to live for, even if it’s that one friend, that one tv show
4

i’m scared! hold my hand, please? i’m scared. i’m scared… i’m scared!

3

I spent the entire day watching Q&As with steve blum then I felt like scribbling some jets at 4am it’s 5am now and I want the sweet release of death

Keith: “I said I wouldn’t cry!”

So does this mean Keith cries whenever he’s faced with something personal? This implies that he cries regularly for some reason (or used to), though that reason is still speculation. But seeing how he has a temper (and realizes that), I’m betting that dealing with personal issues does, in fact, make Keith very upset, which is probably why he doesn’t do it. Some people in fandom think Keith isn’t very emotional, or has very strict control over his emotions, but I’ve always thought it was the opposite. I think Keith just removes himself from potentially emotional situations when he can so as to prevent himself showing emotion or getting upset (like how he never said a single word to Allura after she found out he was Galra. He just stayed quiet while she was angry and even after she later approached him, he didn’t say much because that, too, would likely have made him upset). Anger is harder to reel in on the spot, so him losing his temper is more expected, but I’m betting Keith knows that horrible, suffocating feeling that wells up through you when you’re upset and can’t stop the tears. And so he avoids it whenever possible, thus resulting in him avoiding talking about his personal issues. 

Unlike Lance, who is often portrayed in fanon as the emotional one, but that I think has considerable emotional control. Lance very rarely gets upset or loses his temper, despite his insecurities and how much he misses his family. He jokes around and whines, sure, but that’s a conscious kind of display that he uses, I think, as a defense mechanism. The only time in the show that I think Lance has gotten honestly angry (and I don’t mean simply annoyed like when the black lion rejected  him (although I think that did upset him to a certain extent) or desperate like when he was trying to pull Keith back in season 3) is when Shiro chose Keith over him to go into the Marmora Base. Lance gives off an aura of emotionalism as a way of hiding how he really feels, and even when he does get angry, he pulls back quite quickly and doesn’t usually end up yelling, like Keith does. 

Just some character thoughts I guess.    

9

hoseok birthday bonanza!

day 06 - dancing

i fucking love the adventure zone because sometimes it’s like…absolutely heartbreakingly beautiful story-telling or on-the-edge-of-your-seat thrills 

and then sometimes it’s justin, travis, and their dad chanting “FANTASY SHORTS. FANTASY SHORTS. FANTASY SHORTS” at poor griffin who’s trying to move the plot forward 

XD