i cried in 2008

Hello, AHS family

I know I don’t post here anymore, but I watched the permiere of ‘Cult’ last night and wanted to send a quick message out. Based on the reality of this season, it’s scarier than other season premier so far, in my opinion. In 2008, I cried tears of joy after Obama won the presidency. In 2016, I cried tears of disbelief and fear on election night.

This last year has been rough due to the nature of this country right now. It makes me angry, sad, anxious, terrified, every negative emotion you can name. I know I’m not alone in these feelings, and I’m so happy to see groups of people getting their voices out there and fighting back. My love and support is with all groups of people that this administration has shunned and hurt. I will continue to fight and speak out for you!

Keep fighting! Keep raising your voice! Don’t back down! The whole world is watching, and we will be on the right side of history!



Promotional trailer for the Paris production of The Phantom of the Opera aka the day I cried because there’s new footage of the 2008 London cast.

Dear Taylor,

Now that I am 20, I look back at being 14, and I learned a lot. I learned you’re are still growing, still developing into the person you become, and that people don’t stick around for too long. 14 year old me knows what it feels like to be alone and lonely at such a tender age She knows what it’s like to cry herself to sleep every single night because of that loneliness. The only thing that made that 14 year old girl’s day a little brighter was putting on one of your songs. You made her happy, made her feel less alone. You told her through songs such as “Tied Together With a Smile” that everything would turn out alright. She tuned out her chaotic thoughts with headphones blaring your music because her thoughts took her places she didn’t want to go. That 14 year old who felt like she hit rock bottom was lifeless. The only light in her life was you. I think about 14 year old me’s reaction to meeting you and I cry because I know that it would have put a smile on a face that was so emotionless for too long. Your music got me through that rough age at 14 when I was in a dark place. For so many years I fought depression and inner demons. I would’ve given up on myself a long time ago. Now I’m finally content with who I am as a person and I don’t let people walk all over me like they used to, and you’re the reason.

Taylor, you have a place in my heart like my family does. You are a sister to me, a sister I never met… and a best friend. You make me feel welcomed- you made me realize I was loved. Anytime I am sad, listening to your music instantly brings a huge smile to my face. You created something that can make me happy, that can warm my heart and turn those bad thoughts and feelings away.  

As I’m typing this, I’m crying. I am extremely proud of everything you’ve accomplished the past eight years. Maybe it’s the way that I just thought about the time I was crying hysterically when you won “Entertainer of the Year” at the 2009 CMA Awards. That moment was one of the happiest to me honestly; just because it was one of the happiest moments for you. I’ll never forget the first time I finally got to see you in concert back in 2008, or when I sent through the mail to get your autograph in 2008 and I cried when I got it back because you said that ‘my letter made your day’.

I guess I can just say, I don’t remember my life before you became part of it. I don’t remember who I was. I just think about how much you have changed me for the better, and how glad I am to be a fan of yours. How I’ll always support you no matter what happens and no matter what you go through. I will always be there. You inspire me each and every day; not only through your music, but simply you as a person. You motivate me to never give up because anything is possible no matter what you have experienced. You mean the most to me and you’ll always be a big part of my life. I’m grateful to have you in it, and I adore you and your adorable moments. And your laugh, and your smile and the way you make me smile. You believed in me when nobody else did.  You came to me when I was at my lowest. You picked me up, breathed new life in me. Thank you for being there when nobody else was.