i cried and i was in the impala

Little Red Wagon

Dean x Reader

Word Count: 2,116

Warnings: ANGST OUT THE ASS, mentions of a child dying, mentions of wanting to die, lying, heartache….yeah….

Requested by @haniiix33: So..the reader once lost her little son because of some accident but she kept it as a secret bc she was scared that Dean wouldn’t love (or accept) her. Someday she gets confronted with the situation or something that reminds her of her son. She opens up to Dean and shows him the place where she buried her son…something like that?

A/N: So I literally cried my eyes out while writing this which is something that never happens to me….you guys have fun with this one….(unbeta’d any and all mistakes are my own)

Originally posted by findmeplease

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My Babygirl-Part Eleven

My Babygirl Masterlist

“Hey Dean, come check this out.” Sam said as he looked at the computer. He had been checking the local reports for your town and had found something that quickly caught his attention.

“What is it?” Dean asked before standing behind Sam, leaning over to look at the screen.

“This.” Sam replied pointing to the screen, “Someone in Y/N’s town died; looks like foul play due to the victim dying from a wound to their head.” Dean narrowed his eyes as he read the article. “Could be nothing…but with us…”

“It’s never nothing with us. Pack a bag Sammy, we’ll go check it out. Worst case we get there a few days before watching my babygirl get crowned homecoming queen.” Dean told his brother.

“-And if it’s not nothing?” Sam asked.

“Then we take care of it.”


“So this is definitely our kind of thing.” Dean heard Sam say through the phone. When they got into your town Sam went to the morgue while Dean was walking around your neighborhood, looking for anything suspicious.

“What you find out?” Dean asked.

“The corner hasn’t done the autopsy yet, but the wound looks like something a kitsune would be responsible for. I asked the pathologist if the pituitary gland could have been tampered with.” Sam told his brother.

“-And?” Questioned Dean.

“-And he said it was an odd question but since I mentioned it the hole in the vics head goes straight to it.” Sam said.

“Great. Well we got here fast, hopefully we can find this thing and stop it before it does too much damage.” Dean stated. A beeping noise distracted Dean from the conversation, “Hold on Sammy, someone else is calling me.”

“Hello?” Dean asked as he looked at the phone again to make sure the call was connected, “Who is this?”

“Hel-hello?” Your shaky voice came through on the other end.

“Y/N? Y/N is that you?” Dean asked as he felt himself begin to panic. He stayed away so you could be safe.

You were supposed to be safe.

“Y-yeah.” You replied.

“Y/N, what’s going on?” Dean questioned as he began to jog back to where he parked the impala.

“This-this man, I came back from school and he had my mom and little brother. then my dad came home, but this guy says he isn’t really my dad. I don’t know whats going on.” You cried into the phone. You were making no sense but from what Dean could tell someone had your entire family. The fact that they had you call him proved they knew who you were to Dean.

Which meant you were all in trouble.

“Hey Y/N it’s gonna be okay I promise. Do you know where you are?” Dean asked.

“We’re at th-” You were cut off by a loud smacking noise followed by the sound of the phone hitting the ground.

“Y/N! Y/N!” Dean shouted into the phone as he slammed the impala door shut.

“Sorry bout that Dean, I’m not ready for you to come and play juuuust yet, but soon. I promise.” A new voice sounded into the phone.

“Who are you? Why are you doing this?” Dean asked in an angry tone.

“I’ve spent years looking for you but never could find you. I found your daughter though; she’s pretty. She also has a fantastic life that you set up for her. All safe and happy, a normal teenage homecoming queen. That’s what you wanted for her, right Dean? That’s the kind of life I could have had if you hadn’t killed my mom.” The voice growled into the phone, “So she doesn’t get to live hers anymore.”

“If I killed your mom she probably had it coming.” Dean snarled into the phone, “I will find my daughter. Then I will end you.”

“MY MOTHER DID NOTHING WRONG!” The voice boomed on the other end of the phone. “Sam let her go! Again! But you decided that she needed to die. I told you I would kill you Dean Winchester.” Both sides of the phone line went silent for a moment, “And I will.”

I’ll remind you

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Warnings: angst, slight swearing, death of a child, some fluff 

Word count: 2090

Summary: After a hunt gone terribly wrong the reader reveals a little secret to Dean to comfort him.

A/N: Omg guys I almost cried while writing the first half of this. Btw if someone already wrote a fic like this I’m gonna die. I was so proud when I had this idea lol. Gif is not mine [x] 

Silence. Silence was surrounding you; it weighed heavy on your chest and made you feel helpless and lost.

Dean drove the Impala through the dark night without saying one word. His grip on the steering wheel was so tight that you could see his knuckles turning white. The only sounds you could hear were the engine of Baby and the rain which drummed wildly on the roof of the car. Sam was fast asleep after the exhausting hunt you guys had just finished. You on the other hand couldn’t sleep; you were trying to focus on which raindrop would make it down the window, you were staring at, the fastest. Images of the hunt that had gone terribly wrong flashed through your mind. Tears burned in your eyes, blinking them away quickly you tried to think of something else.

This time it was really bad. It had been a kid. Jake Simmons.

The three of you had tried everything to save him in time before the vampire who had captured Jake and his parents, who were dead long before him, could hurt him.

When you had arrived at the nest it was too late. The little boy, who was no more than five years old had laid there on the cold floor of an abandoned warehouse. His clothes were all bloody and his teddy bear was a few feet away from him, also stained with blood.

Every time you closed your eyes, the sight of his lifeless body would send shivers down your spine.

So you silently sat in the backseat, with Jake’s bloody teddy bear clutched in your shaking hands, while trying to ignore the urge to cry uncontrollably.

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Your Blood, My Heart | Dean Winchester x Female Reader

Request: Hey I’m harriet! I have read some of you posts and your REALLY good at writing. So I was wondering if you could please write one for me. Okay so ,  the reader and the boys get back from a hunt and the reader get badly hurt, but doesn’t tell the boys. So reader and the boys go back to bunker. The boys get some beer and reader runs the the bathroom. Then the boys here a big thud ( reader falling to the floor) you can make up the rest. Thank you if you actually reader this. Xxxxxx (@a-dreamingforadventure)

Warnings: Major injury, Fluff

Words: 745


Just a hunt. A simple hunt. I’d been hurt before, but never like this. I’d never hurt on the inside, aside from the aching joints. I had been thrown against a wall and then into a kitchen island, the sharp marble edge slamming into my lower stomach. When Sam finally managed to sheath his knife into the creature I crumpled on the cold floor before being scooped into Dean’s arms.

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2

Imagine Dean telling Sam he thinks you’re pregnant.

Read Heat of the Moment Imagine 

Dean’s POV

Things to know: I wrote these imagines all out of order, but I realized when I started this one, that i kind of had an imagine mini Series. 

So, I’ll give it a name: Life Unexpected: An Imagine Series


“Dude, are you serious?” Sam questioned doubtfully.

“That is so not something to joke about,” Charlie added.

Dean looked looked at Charlie in the rear view mirror and glanced at Sam next to him exasperated. “Yeah, I’m pretty damn sure,” Dean said with certainty.

Sam sighed and looked at Dean seriously. “Look, man. I’m not saying that this is terrible or anything, but we don’t need to be jumping the gun. What makes you think Y/N is pregnant, anyway? I mean you guys are smart, right?” Sam asked.

“Glove before love,” Charlie interjected from the back seat of the Impala.

That broke the tension a little and the three of them laughed.

When the laughter died down Dean started, “Well, we’re usually smart.”

“Oh my word,” Sam said running his hand over his face. “How does something like that happen, dude?”

Dean smiled and raised his eyebrows as he shrugged. “The heat of the moment?” Dean offered.

Charlie burst into laughter. The boys looked at her. “What? Y/N told me about that night. That was exactly how she described it.”

Sam looked from Charlie back to Dean. “Good Lord, was it that night Dean?” Sam asked recalling the night that you and Dean hooked up after a hunt in which you had almost been killed. You’d been together ever since, nearly inseparable. It had only made sense, the two of you had known each other for years. When that night happened, nobody was really surprised except you.

Dean laughed. “That’s the only time we haven’t used protection,” he said. “That was about six weeks ago.”

“Okay. So what is going on with Y/N that makes you so sure?” Sam inquired.

Dean sighed as he thought about the last week or so. “The first clue was the morning sickness,” Dean started. “She has been puking like crazy for about a week. Then there is the fact that she cries at the drop of a hat. I walked in the other day and she was crying over a tissue commercial, Sam!”

“Dude,” Charlie said in a low whisper.

“Really?” Sam asked surprised. “Y/N? Who wouldn’t cry if she were to break her leg, crying over a commercial?”

“Exactly!” Dean said exasperated. “To top it off she is eating like crazy. She has always been a bit of a foodie that’s one of the things I love about her, but lately she could put me to shame.” He pulled the Impala in front of the bunker and the three of them got out of the car.

“Crap Dean. You may be right. Where is she anyway? Have you thought about talking to her?” Sam inquired as he opened the bunker door, letting Charlie step in first.

“Yeah, and risk her bursting into tears? No thank you!” Dean deadpanned.

“Sam, are you actually asking if Dean figured something out and reacted like an adult for once?” She chuckled as the three of them walked down the stairs. They reached the bottom of the steps and you were sitting on the couch, staring into space.

“Sorry to interrupt what I’m sure is an intriguing conversation, guys,” you said to the boys and Charlie, “But I need to speak with Dean for a minute.” Dean could immediately tell something was wrong.

“Y/N, what’s wrong, sweetheart?” He asked as he pulled up a chair next to you wrapping his strong arms around you.


Want to know what happened next? 

Pt. 3 Dean, I’m Pregnant

Not About You

Summary: You are kidnapped in an act of revenge against Dean. 
Pairing: Dean x Reader
Word Count: 1255
Warnings: Abduction, violence, intention harm to another person, cursing. 
Challenge: Cassie’s Classics Challenge! My prompt was the quote from Taken (2008), bolded in the fic. Thanks for the extension @death2thevirgin!

Your name: submit What is this?

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how to make artsy geometric aesthetic thingies

today imma show u guys how to make these kinds of backgrounds

okay so ur gonna need two apps for this: Pixlr and Toolwiz (i provided the links there, well for android users anyway, sry if ur on something else)

imma put this on a read more bc this is gonna be kind of long and I’m a Mess

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Read It Wednesday

Week 13 is here!! Fics from this week come from the last two weeks, so please be aware that this one is probably going to be LONG. Keep in mind that sometimes I don’t get notifications for everything I’m tagged in. If you really want me to read a fic you’ve posed, send it to me via IM and I will read it right away. Enjoy this weeks compilation!

*Little note: There are some smut fics that are left out of this. They will be included in next weeks RIW. I don’t read smut while I’m at work, and I won’t have time tonight to read them and get this up in time, so I’ve liked all smut fics I’ve been tagged in to read this weekend. I hope y’all understand!

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Run

Dean Winchester x Reader

2550 Words

Story Summary: This is written for @atc74 and her Break the Zone Challenge. This is my first challenge, thanks for letting me join!!! My prompt: The lights go out for five seconds. When they turn on again, you see a note stuck to your window. It says one word, “Run.” 

Warnings: None

“Dean, there is no way we are going to be able to continue.” You argued, as you struggled to keep your raincoat covering the majority of your upper body. The rain was coming down in droves, the window continuously pushing it into your face. Even with the raincoat on, you were completely soaked to the skin, and your teeth wouldn’t stop rattling. “Please, can’t we turn around and try again tomorrow?” You chattered, wrapping your arms around your middle to try and warm yourself.

“Damn it. This storm wasn’t supposed to hit until tomorrow.” Dean grumbled, but he still stopped. Even with his heavy rainslicker, he looked as miserable as you felt, his boots sinking deep into the muddy forest floor. Turning to face you, his eyes widened when he noticed the state you were in. Mumbling under his breath, he came slopping towards you, the mud making his movements hard. “I’m so sorry Y/N, I didn’t even think.”

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Sleep in my sweater P6

Part One Here
Part Two Here
Part Three Here
Part Four Here
Part Five Here

Pairing: Sam x reader 
Characters: Sam, Dean, nurses, reader
Warnings: light swearing, angst, fluff, hurt!sam, hurt!reader, 
Word count: around 1,500
Summary: The reader and Sam are both taken to the hospital, and when Sam finally wakes up confessions are made 
Tag list: @amanda-teaches @myplaceofthingsilove@spectaculicious@bambinovak @bambinovak @writingthingsisdifficult@padackles2010@mamaredd123​​ @milkymilky-cocopuff@iwantthedean@zeppo-in-a-trenchcoat@spntrista​​ @d-s-winchester@just-another-busy-fangirl@winchesterprincessbride@waywardjoy@supernaturalyobsessed@whywhydoyouwantmetosaymyname@sandlee44@fangirl1802@kittenofdoomage​​​ @evyiione @winchestersmut@purgatoan​ ​ @mogaruke​​ @therewillbeblood@megansescape@taste-of-dean@leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid  @scarlet-soldier-in-an-impala@deathtonormalcy56@wildfirewinchester @notnaturalanahi@jensen-jarpad@impalaimagining@fangirlextraordinaire @itseverythingilike@jesspfly@love-kittykat21@mysteriouslyme81 @mrswhozeewhatsis @aiaranradnay@supernatural-jackles@girl-next-door-writes@spnsasha@27bmm@spnfanficpond @amanda-teaches@myplaceofthingsilove@spectaculicious@bambinovak @writingthingsisdifficult@spn-imagines-to-feel@spn-ficfanatic@cleverdame @saxxxology @jensen-jarpad @keepcalmandcarryondean dancingpanda137

A/N: Hope you guys enjoy! Ps, I have a game in the town of Winchester tomorrow and I almost CRIED when I found out where it was

Masterlist Here!

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It Always Ends In Blood

Characters: reader, Dean, Sam, Castiel

Warnings: mention of death, angst, swearing

Word count: 2630

Summary: you begin to realise that there’s a pattern with the people that you love… They always end up dead. But how can you continue living like that?

A/N: this is for SPN Angst Appreciation Day 2017

You physically could not breathe. This couldn’t be real. He couldn’t really be dead. You heaved as you stared at Dean from far away, he looked down at something you didn’t want to be real.

Castiel laid still in front of Dean, he didn’t move a damn muscle. Lucifer had literally stabbed his brother in the back, but even after you saw it you didn’t believe it was true. Some part of your brain told you that it didn’t happen… How could you be so naïve? Everything felt like it moved in slow motion as the air around you became heavy and your legs suddenly started to carry you over to where Castiel was. Faster. Keep running. Faster.

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Rabbit Hole.

A/N: This is a pure Daddy!dean Easter fluff drabble. I just knew I would write something with Jensen and Dean the bunny. 

Pairing: Dean x reader 

Charlotte- 6 will be seven in October  Cassie-3  turning 4 in May Catherine just turned 3 in February and Bennett will be 8 months old. 


With the amount of “things”  Dean has seen in his day, he wouldn’t be the least surprised to hear that the Easter Bunny was real. Now, of course in the eyes of his four young children, the Easter bunny lived all the way out on Easter Island. 

Dean wants his kids to hold onto childhood as long as they can before they have to accept any type of responsibilities. Right now, Dean was just enjoying watching his girls and especially his littlest munchkin enjoying the little things of life. Dean sold his childhood the moment he ran out of that house with six month old Sammy in his arms wrapped up in a blanket many moons ago. 

All Dean could ever want for his kids is to lead normal lives, as you and him give them the most normal lives possible. You and Dean don’t really have to much to worry about giving Charlotte the talk about monsters quite yet. Dean solemnly swore if any harm were to come to you, his beautiful wife of any of his kids, it’ll be a blood bath. 

Off the record though, the funniest thing happened the other day as you tried to get everyone out the door in one piece. Dean had to take Cassie to playgroup for the day, and Charlotte to school. You walked them out because it was beginning to get warmer in the morning and gradually grow throughout the day. 

You had baby Bennett in your arms and Catherine holding your hand. Catherine had her thumb in your mouth. Catherine was your only baby that didn’t take a pacifier, and instead she chose to suck her thumb. She only did that when she was tired, for example she was just waking up so that explained a lot. 

But she never wanted to miss Daddy leaving in the morning. She didn’t care about sending off her two older sissies. It was all about Daddy to Catherine. “Bye bye Catherine. Girls, say goodbye to your sister and brother.” Dean held each of their hands as he lead them to the impala. “Bye Bennett, bye Catherine!” Charlotte called, as she skipped happily beside her Daddy. 

Then, Charlotte gasps loudly, causing everyone to ask what it was this time. “It’s the Easter bunny!” She cried excitedly. Cassie started asking where, tugging on Dean’s arm. You and Dean each made a face. Easter wasn’t until the sixteenth of next month and you just had gotten over St. Patrick’s Day.

“Lottie, honey I-I think that is a rabbit. The Easter bunny, hasn’t left Easter Island yet.” Dean explained as he knelt down to your two oldest daughters level. “Oh okay!” She shrugged, understanding completely. “So that’s not the Easter bunny?” Cassie asked sounding a little disappointed. “No, sweetie but he will be here soon.” Dean promised, from the bottom of his heart. 

“How soon?” Cassie questioned, raising an eyebrow. “Easter Sunday is the sixteenth of April.” Dean confirmed to his very inquisitive daughter. The apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Cassie was named after the angel of Castiel after all. “But that’s so far away!” She exclaimed over-dramatically. The drama bit she got from you. 

“I know, I know it seems that way now but when you think about it’s really not.” Dean chuckled a little. “How do you know that Daddy?” Cassie puckered her lips together. “I know that because I am your Daddy and I know all.” He wriggled his eyebrows and then gave Cassie an Eskimo kiss. 

She giggled at her Daddy, his long lashes tickling her cheeks pink. “Hey, I want a kiss too!” Charlotte poked Dean on the shoulder. He turned around and face his big girl and planted a kiss on her cheek. Dean heard his phone buzz in his pocket and saw what time it was and told the girls we were going to be late if you don’t hurry up. 

“Not if you go really fast, Daddy! Can we go really fast?” Cassie beamed, with a sparkle in her eye. “I don’t want to make any promises but…” Dean’s voice trailed off when you yelled loudly. 

“DEAN WHAT IS CASSIE TALKING ABOUT?”

 You were shaking your head, the tone in your voice indicated your were more than just a little ticked off. “Nothing darling, go on in the house. I’ll see you when I get home.” Dean only called you darling when he knew he was in trouble. “Yeah I’ll see you when you get home.” You muttered to yourself as you started heading back inside. 

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Bohemian Rhapsody

Characters: Dean x Reader, Sam

Prompt: Day Five, a song that needs to be played loud

Words: 562

Warnings: Fluff

~Series Masterlist~

Originally posted by dean-sam-winchesterbros

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Bite Me (Part 11)

Characters: Reader, Sam, Dean (…a pairing is approaching…)

Warnings: none

Overview: You were raised in the hunter life. You fell out of it. It wasn’t your choice to get pulled back in.

Word Count: 1,325

A/N: This is the eleventh installment in my first ever fanfic series. It’s a baby chapter, but we get to see some nice Winchester dialogue (in my opinion, at least). Thanks to @wheresthekillswitch for being my letter checker! <3 you, babe ;) These words, like everything else I write, are for me. Feel free to join me in the adventure.

Read (Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7) (Part 8) (Part 9) (Part 10)


It was two years before I crossed paths with another hunter. He came into the coffee shop and I pegged him immediately for what he was. It was the anti-possession tattoo sneaking out from beneath the fabric of his unbuttoned shirt, the smell that only comes from days on the road, and his alert eyes taking in every detail of the room and its inhabitants. I knew right away.

He ordered a coffee, black, and sat at the table closest to the door. I took him his drink, trying to calm the tension rising in my body, and slid into the chair across from him. Arlo quickly rose from his spot on the floor behind the counter and trotted over to sit protectively by my side. I felt his wet nose nudge against my clenched fist and I forced myself to breathe, scratching his head to help my mind focus.

The man looked at me with calculating eyes; surprised, but unfazed. “Can I help you?” His voice was deep and smooth. His calloused hands wrapped around his mug for the warmth, his gaze never leaving mine.

“Why are you in town?” I’d always been one to be direct.

He quirked an eyebrow, “Right now I’m here for the coffee.”

“No, why is a hunter in town?”

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Thoughts on SPN 12x19
  • Poor Kell. That suicide scene was intense, sad and well done. I think a lot of AKF’ers out there who deal with thoughts and urges like these felt that knot in their stomach.
  • Sam researching the Nephilim makes me proud. Ash was a genius, but damn, Sam! College boy is on a roll!
  • Uh-oh… Cas just came home after curfue. 
  • Okay… let me just… recap. Did Dean make Cas a fucking mixtape with his favorite Led Zeppelin tracks?!?!?!?! I’m not a Destiel shipper perse, but last time I checked boys who make mixtapes for you, want to be your bae, just sayin’…
  • You, me and Sam… We’re just better together.” *goes to the corner to cry*
  • Team Free Will! HELL YEAH!! 
  • Through out the whole mixtape scene, Dean has such a raw edge on his lowered voice *wipes the drool of my keyboard*
  • Cas? What the fuck are you doing?! You’re bailing?! Again?! And you stole the fucking COLT?!?!?!
  • The audio of that gameshow while the angels stake out the house. Chapeau, editors!
  • Uh… Dean? How does Cas know you keep the Colt under your pillow?
  • Luci is getting emotional about his missing kid. Am I a bad person for feeling for him?
  • Did Cas just Google how to fix a truck? Hihi
  • Awh… Cas feeling the baby, that’s so cu… YELLOW EYES WHAT THE HELL?!?!
  • Cas trying to keep the Winchesters out of harms way is very sweet, but oh honey… 
  • Dean throwing Cas the keys to the Impala is my new favorite thing
  • Kelly!! You don’t go stealing the Impala!!! I know you wanna die and go to heaven, but that’s just desperate!!
  • Oh poor Cas, getting his ass kicked once again. 
  • Yeey! Sam and Dean to the rescue! Nice gun reload skills there, Sam.
  • THE COLT!!! NOOOO!!! *screams louder than Dean* NOT THE COLT! I LOVED THAT GUN!!! *cries ugly*
  • Did that kid just juice Castiel up and gave him Super Saiyan strength?! Oh, this can’t be good.
  • Cas healing Dean’s broken arm now added to list of things I love about this episode.
  • No Cas… Don’t knock them out. No, Cas, don’t… Never mind…
  • Cas is different. Either he’s manipulated, or that damn Nephilim is calling the shots, but this is not the Cas I know *goes to stare at my black TV screen a little while longer*
Drunk Last Night (Part 2: Every Other Memory)

Originally posted by demondetoxmanual

Summary: we learn what happened between you and Dean

Pairing: Dean x Reader (Sam x reader friendship)

Song Inspiration: Every Other Memory, by The Eli Young Band

Word Count: 2,000

Warnings: rejection, breakup, heavy alcohol consumption, implied sex

A/N: Back by popular demand… part 2! I have a test in two hours, but I’m doing this instead #priorities…

This is part of a series! Read Part 1 here!

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In For Life/Dean Winchester Fluff/Angst

Originally posted by hunterchesters

Most of these are taken from my Wattpad account! (Twtrash01)

Send me requests for the following Fandoms: Teenwolf, Vampire Diaries, Dolantwins, OUAT(Peter Pan, Robbie Kay, Supernatural, Suicide Squad, The 100. Basically I’ll write for any fandom. I’ll write non-smut as well. Be specific in what you want! *I DON’T OWN ANY GIFS*

Request:  Hi can you please do an imagine with Dean Winchester and the reader? Dean and the readers newborn baby has been kidnapped and her and Dean are frantic, Sam and Cas doing what they can to help. The rest can be up to you. Thanks x

Maybe a part 2?

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Keep On Haunting Me

Pairing: Kevin Tran x Reader

Words: 730

Request: Hi can you do one about Kevin? I feel there’s a lack of Kevin in the fanfiction world. Maybe where the reader was her girlfriend and when he dies she blame the boys and starts looking for a way to bring Kevin back (whether she can or not is up to you :D) and in the end or some point she realized she was wrong about blaming Sam and Dean and apologies so they’re good as a family again. Thank you. - @ijspn

Author’s Note: This is real short, but I hope you like it. I freaking love Kevin and I was so surprised when they brought him back in “All in the Family” even if it was for two seconds. Kevin deserved more screen time. Title taken from Haunted by Halsey. Send in your request! – Haley xx


Even if it’s been two years since Kevin’s death, I still haven’t got over it. I have dreams of us moving on from this life, being together forever. Nothing finding us and we can live in peace. But, sometimes, I have nightmares. I watch Kevin’s body go limp and fall to floor while Sam stands over him.

Sam killed him. Or the angel in him did. Whatever. It still happened.

And they didn’t even do anything for him. They didn’t sell their soul for him to come back, but they would do it for each other in a heartbeat. I held onto his body and cried until I couldn’t cry anymore. I didn’t want to give him a hunter’s funeral, so Dean and I moved Kevin’s body to the impala and we buried him far away so no one would disrespect the grave.

Dean held onto me as I cried, kneeling at the grave of my boyfriend.

When we realized Kevin’s ghost was hunting The Bunker, I was overjoyed. He wasn’t gone, he was right here with me. The first time I saw him, I broke down sobbing. I thought I had gone insane, but he was standing right in front of me, looking exactly like he did on that awful day. Kevin would manifest himself and talk to me. He stand beside me and whisper all the things he used to whisper to me at night.

We had that for a while, until after Sam and Dean saved Mrs. Tran. She wanted to take his ghost home with her. How could I say no? That was her child. I was becoming unhealthily attached to Kevin’s ghost at this point, so Dean told Mrs. Tran to take him. Before they left, Kevin laid a hand on my cheek and pecked my lips with his, but I couldn’t feel it.

Sam tried to convince me that Kevin going was good for him. I snapped at him. “This is all your fault! He’s dead because of you!” I screamed before running to my room and locking myself inside.

No Kevin for two years. I spent those two years focusing on hunting and killing the monsters out there. I had so much rage inside me, I had to get it out. We never talked out him either. They didn’t have the right to talk about all the good times with Kevin. Sam was the one that went MIA on him and left him for dead. They treated Kevin like shit. I was the one with him when Crowley kidnapped him, I helped Kevin become a better hunter and researched for him while he worked on the tablets.

I prayed to God every day, asking for just one more day to see Kevin. One more time to see his smile and hear his laugh and I would be good. That was all I needed to be happy for the rest of my life. Then Chuck reappears while we’re hunting down Amara and Dean tells me that Chuck is God.

Standing in the middle of the war room, Chuck snapped his left hand and from behind him, we hear, “Guys!”

Kevin.

He smiled wide before looking at me, then Chuck, then back to myself. Chuck nodded his head and Kevin took off, running towards me and wrapping his arms around my waist picking me up and twirling me around.

“I’m back!” He smiled, tears forming in his eyes, while he sat me down.

“You’re back,” I whispered, pulling him into a kiss. My lips pressed hard against his. Kevin’s tongue slipped into my mouth and it felt like it hasn’t been two years since I had last kissed him. My hands wrapped around his neck, tugging on his ends of his dark hair.

Dean coughed behind us and Kevin pulled away, resting his forehead against mine.

“Sometimes I answer a prayer,” Chuck said. “He’s back for good, just don’t kill him again.”

“Thank you,” I said. I squeezed Kevin’s hands before interlacing fingers. We walked over to Dean and Sam. “I’m sorry for blaming you and for the way I acted the past two years. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“I was the same way when Jess died,” Sam said softly. “I understand how you felt. And I’m sorry for letting it happened.”

“It wasn’t your fault,” Kevin said. “It’s fine now. Everything’s fine now.”

Will to Fight

So … I smacked at my keyboard just now, and this is what happened… no idea what or where. I’ll add it to my WIP’s and see what happens.
Let me know if you think I should continue.


“Wake up!” I pleaded, pushing at his shoulder, “Dean! Wake up!” I yelled, shaking him.
“YN.” Sam whispered, his voice catching in his throat.
“Dean!” I called, pulling at him as Sam lifted me off the floor, his hands around my waist as I clung to his brother.
“You have to leave him.” Sam begged, his sobs choking his words.
“No. Dean!” I screamed, breaking down as Sam continued to drag me back to the car.
“Get out of here!” Crowley’s low snarl was a demand, he’d lost Lucifer, although harmless in his vessel, with the command of demons he was powerful, who knew how many more would be coming their way.
“Dean!” I cried, Sam planted me against the side of the Impala, his arm holding me there as he wrenched open the door, stuffing me inside.
I continued to cry as Sam rounded the car and slid down behind the wheel, fumbling with the keys before finally slotting them into place. His hands shook as he tried to turn them, tried desperately to bring the car to life. But he seemed to be failing at that too.
“YNN. Please. Stop.” Sam begged, my whimpering of Dean’s name was upsetting him further, he couldn’t think, couldn’t breathe. I took in a shuddering breath, looking across at the broken and bloody Winchester, the last one. I had to keep him alive. I had to protect him. I commanded myself to stop crying, to stop mourning Dean, I had to chose to keep fighting. For Sam.
“Move.” I demanded, sliding over the younger Winchester’s lap as he moved beneath me. I sat behind the wheel and roared Baby to life, pushing her to drive.

I was a guardian angel without wings and my mission was to protect Dean Winchester. Not fall in love with him. He wasn’t even meant to know I existed. But he did, and now he was dead. I had to do what I promised. I had to keep Sam alive.

Keep reading

I wanna talk about Ben for a second.

I think nearly everyone in the spn fandom agrees that Ben is Dean’s biological son. The only stumbling block to this is the fact that Lisa…explicitly told Dean Ben is not his son. 

And here’s why I think that’s a complete lie.

The first time Dean asks if Ben is his (right after he does the math and realizes Ben could be his son) is approximately five minutes after walking back into Lisa Braeden’s life. Dean had been gone for 8+ years–heck he was just a fling to start, and suddenly he shows up again. Lisa and Ben have their life figured out. They live perfectly well with the family dynamic they have. Lisa doesn’t know Dean. Lisa has no connection to Dean. Imagine if she did tell Dean Ben was his son: child support, visiting arguments, heck maybe even custody battles. Who knows what kind of man Dean is? What sane person would risk uprooting her entire life (along with her son’s) by dropping a bombshell like that on a man she hadn’t seen in almost 9 years?

Second–Lisa tells Dean that Ben is the son of some biker fling she had. She says this with certainty. But honestly, why would she know this? It didn’t sound like this biker guy was involved in her life. Maybe Lisa tracked him down again at some bar a month later and said, “Hey pal, wanna take a ride to the doctor’s office for a paternity test?” This wasn’t a boyfriend, wasn’t a relationship. I have trouble believing she even knew the guy well enough to find him again after the month or so it takes to realize you’re pregnant.

To me, the biker story sounds like a very easy escape from Dean. I mean he’s still this random guy who showed up again in her life, and even though they bond, even though he saves Ben, Lisa now realizes Dean Winchester leads a very, very dangerous life. Dean’s a nomadic, mentally damaged, monster-killer. At this point, it would make even less sense to tether him with the fact that he has a son (even though Lisa obviously cares for him at this point).

Dean vanishes after that. The next time she sees him is when he shows up at her door half-crazed talking about how he’ll bargain for her safety when he sacrifices himself. This is a man who lives in a world of monsters, but Lisa cares enough to try to at least help him. However much Dean eventually tells her about his life, Lisa’s got to know he’s always hiding more. She’s got to know there are insanely powerful things out there that want Dean dead, things Dean has to bargain with his own life to protect her from.

The next time he appears, it’s immediately after Sam dies. Dean is a wreck, but he’s also (possibly) out of the hunter life. So Lisa lets him in, he becomes a father, a husband, but never legally. I doubt Lisa and Dean ever talked once about marriage. Why? Because in the back of her head Lisa knew she needed to constantly be ready to let Dean go if and when his past caught up to him. How do you make that possible? One–you never marry the guy. Two–you never honestly tell him the kid he’s caring for is his son. If Dean knew Ben was biologically his, imagine how much harder it would be for him to pack his bags and vanish when he needed to.

Lo and behold, Sam returns. Dean's flesh and blood family. And what does Dean do? He takes off with Sam–because it’s dangerous for Ben and Lisa, because his own demons have caught up to them. It’s hard, but Dean manages to leave them. In truth what was he all along but a surrogate dad? Never really a part of the family. 

Imagine the kind of shit Dean confided in Lisa after a year together. In the episode where Dean was cursed and people were forced to tell him the truth, Lisa admits she knew from the second Sam returned that it was over between them. Because she knows how messed up Dean is about family. She talks about being close to her sister, but how she’d never, out of desperation, raise her sister from the dead. Being family-family with Dean is a very dangerous game–a messed up game that ends in blood and tears and deals with the devil, and Lisa’s got to be afraid of that.

All of this evidence is ignoring the fact that 1–Ben looks A LOT like Dean. 2–Ben acts like Dean. 3–Ben even likes Dean’s music.

Finally, imagine how hard it would be (especially as time goes on) for Lisa to pull Dean aside one day and tell him “Hey I lied to you. Ben’s actually your son.” She knows Dean would be hurt that she lied, that she has kept very important information from him, that she was clearly trying to distance herself and Ben from him. For the right reasons or not, it would be hard to work up the nerve at any point to tell Dean the truth.

In summary–Lisa had no reason to tell the man, who just walked back into her life, who she knows nothing about, that he’s the father of her child. She has no reason to upset her and Ben’s family dynamic. She then had even less reason after she learned Dean hunts monsters for a living. How would she know with certainty the biker was the father? How easy is it to track down a one-time fling a month later and make him take a paternity test if child support was never an issue? Even after Dean came to live with them, Lisa could not tether Dean to them. No marriage and no biological kid mean the best situation for Dean to be able to take off when he needs to. Being family with Dean Winchester is a terrible risk to take. And if you’re actually flesh and blood, you’ll never get away entirely.