i cried a river over you

Crying a river all over again

I am half way through the audio book for Lang ya bang…

… and have cried my eyes out twice already.

I should have known this would be a bad idea.

The first time was unexpected. It was when Jingyan (the idiot) accused MCS of purposely putting Nihuang in danger. MCS is angry and cold but manages to control himself. Jingyan is SO angry. He almost gets rough with MCS and Fei Liu gets SO SO angry -

- and then MCS literally loses it.

‘I told you never to hurt THAT PERSON, no matter what -’ (my tears are real at this point okay).

MCS rarely gets seriously angry towards Fei Liu and poor Fei Liu is basically a sad kitten.

Meanwhile Jingyan is still kind of angry and a bit confused and leaves.

At this point MCS is so so sad but so so happy and he tells Fei Liu that he is happy because Jingyan is still that same kind hearted person.

Fei Liu tells MCS not to cry. And only then does MCS realise he is crying.

(MY TEARS!!!!111111)

The second time the waterworks flowed was after Jingyan ears drops on MCS speaking with Xie Yu in prison. They meet in the rendezvous tunnel of luv and Jingyan is asking MCS to help him find out the truth behind the Chiyan case. MCS is telling him all the sensible reasons why he shouldn’t be investigating, and asking Jingyan if he still wants to go ahead. Jingyan says yes every time without hesitation. My mind is literally flashing back to the scene in the drama and oh god they did it so well in the drama too. Jingyan is emotional because this means EVERYTHING to him, but you can tell MCS is so emotional too, because Jingyan is risking everything for the case, for him too.

/cue waterworks

Only half way through the audiobook and I’m a mess. Here’s what I think is more apparent in the audiobook (it is apparent in the drama but like glaringly so in the (audio)book):

- Jingrui’s crush on MCS
- Yujin’s crush on Jingrui
- MCS’s crush on Jingyan
- Jingyan’s crush on Lin Shu
- Meng Zhi is literally awesome
- MCS’s got seriously questionable parenting skills when it comes to Fei Liu

Just a few minutes....

Every Thursday night my PBS station shows Doctor Who.  Last night was The Name of the Doctor.  Every time I swear I’m not going to watch it again, since I’ve seen it like 50 times.

But then I say, well, maybe just until after River’s first scenes when she’s being awesome

Then I say I’ll watch until the Doctor cries over River, because it’s so heartbreaking

Then I say, well maybe until the grave scene, because he loves her so much, he has to reach out and touch her name and he has this “Rivah!” moment

And if I’ve watched this much, I should watch until she says his name and he looks so sad that he’s been ignoring her this whole time and she’s really real

At this point, you HAVE to stay for “I can always see you” and the BIG DAMN KISS

Then there is the moment, where Matt looks at the camera and into your eyes and your heart squeezes

Every time.  I can’t turn it off until then.  Every damn time.

A piano? In a room off to the side of the hall, there was a-
In the midst of all this chaos, there was a…


Huh. Odd. He touched a key- Oh. That explained why. Broken. No, not broken- out of tune. He took a minute to look it over, make a few adjustments, tune it as best as he could by memory. Not perfect, but it’d do.
All of this music, this insane amount of people…
Made him feel young again. Made him feel alive again.
Made him want to play again.

So he did.

The singing was low, but smooth. He was old, he hadn’t played in a long time- sang in a long time-

“Now you say you’re lonely…
You cried the whole night through…
Well, you can cry me a river,
Cry me a river,
I cried a river over you.”

Maybe I… I can never fly
Just like those flower petals over there
Just like having wings but I can’t
—  Awake - (BTS -Jin) 

My dedication to this swell guy. When I found out he died I cried a river of tears. it was the first time death had such an effect on me and the fact people have work so hard to keep Edd’s world spinning all this time is truly admirable and worthy of respect. I send my love and thanks to every single person who ever worked on the show and his friends and family x 

Especially @thetomska, who through all the horrible stuff going on at the time ontop of having to take over, pulled through to the end, major respect. You deserve the biggest hug. Hope you can move on to better things.

And in response to his video posted today, I can say at least my future self won’t regret me spending time and appreciating family that truly loves and cares about me. Thank you.

I Became A Regret...

“Have you ever been broken so bad that you cried rivers??"I asked.

"I had stopped crying the moment I realized it’s all over."She replied coldly.

"But you still scream… Don’t you?? Within your silence?”

“Some screams are better unheard by everyone… Right?” Her face dropped with a sigh.

“But what if someone wants to hear it all… All about you..?” Her eyes met mine. Not a single tear at the corner of her eyes but I could still see mysteries revolving out there.

“Don’t try so. You might just drown yourself in the emptiness I’ve lived this far.” She was as straight as she could be.

“Why don’t you let others to have closure with you?”

“Coz closure leads to expectations…And expectations break hearts in turn.” I was surprised to know how many pages are burnt already from the open book that she claims her to be.

“You need Love… ” I interlocked our fingers. She didn’t protest.

“I rather need to stop loving this much.” She swiftly freed her hands from mine.

“What if I say I’m falling for you..?” I asked scared.

She smiled. God her smile is so beautifully painful. I so knew I love her.

She moved close and our foreheads touched. That was the moment I tasted peace. Love comes in every possible way.

As I blinked fast to tear my eye lids apart.. All I remembered was her last words…

“I’ve always been in Love with you since the time you walked away so far.”

Now do you feel how it feels to break the one you love?

Regret is a pretty petty word to compensate the loss.

I nothing-ed her.

I broke her.

I fell in love with her.

I realized all this while I’ve loved her.

Now that I badly want her.

All I know is….

I lost her.

You don’t have to soften yourself so you can love me.

Your sharp edges has no effect on me because i’m used to it. I have scars all over my body that serves as a reminder to those who did not handle me with care. You don’t have to pretend someone who can give me the whole universe so you can have my heart. I don’t need the whole universe, i just want a world that will accept me. You don’t have to form every star into constellation to lead me to the right path, i have my own journey, The callouses on my feet are evidences that I had carried the darkness with me.

I don’t need perfection. I wasn’t born as one and to become one. My body is made of bullets, ready to shot anyone who will destroy me. My eyes have cried a river, the dark circles under my eyes are proof that i cried over someone who’s not worth it. My hands have touched lies and broken promises and turn them into ashes. My heart is a fire that practices to smolder anyone’s cold, hard and demeanor. My soul have stood in a shaking ground and have learned not to fall.

I don’t need promises. They will just disappear in just a second and they might be forgotten. You don’t have to sugarcoat things that you think will cross my heart. You don’t have to be my knight in shining armor that will protect me from any harm. You don’t have to shield me from edges that might stab me. You don’t have to catch every rain and be my umbrella just so you can prove that you can do everything. You don’t have to be a star that will give me light on my darkest nights.

I was built for wars and i was made of metal and all my insides have walls that no one can tear apart. You don’t have to be the missing puzzle in me. You don’t have to give some parts of you so you can complete me. You don’t have to be my band aid to heal every wound in my body. You don’t have to be my anesthesia to stop myself from feeling the pain. Show me what’s behind that face. Show me the real you. Name all your ghosts and show me the way to your darkness. We don’t have to have a perfect story just like in movies and books and this is not a fairytale with once upon and time and they live happily ever after, we’re not prince and princess. Instead, let us stay in this reality. We’re not art, we’re wrecks. Love can be sometimes a ship whom have flood, our hearts sinking like an anchor. And when we sink, we compared to gardens and gates inside a painting, instead of crashed waves and broken boards.

We don’t need to be perfect and give everything to complete each other. You don’t have to do all those things so you can love me.

Just be yourself.
Then love me.


LADIES’ CODE return with “GALAXY” MV over a year after EunB & RiSe’s passing as a trio!

Who else noticed that the girls were joined by 2 female backup dancers at the beginning, who leave halfway and the trio are on the floor, only to be helped up by more backup dancers (symbol of fans???)

AND THEN AFTER ZUNY SANG “Annyeong, gidaroso (Hello/Goodbye, I’m waiting for you)”


*Cries a Han River*

Decision Of A Lifetime

Hello! I was wondering if I could request a Marvel one-shot. I was thinking that the reader could be dating Peitro, and was one of the other Hydra experiments. The Winter solider is jealous of them, because he likes the reader because she is always kind to him. After the effects of AOU, she finds post-winter solider Bucky, and slowly falls for him, but never forgets Peitro. Your choice if she stays, or leaves Bucky :)

Keep reading


The river flowed like the Rilke
lines you cried over,
a broad conjunction of passing
and eventual arrival,
depths treacherous like endings.

Waves rippled up and slunk out –
and I stood on the bridge watching
how the birds left trails of water
under their treading feet
holding fast air and more air

in the arc that leaves behind
all it has once known,
soundly, needing no common ground;
nothing but the billow of ascent
beneath each wing.