i couldnt help but smile while making these its impossible not to


(requested by anon)

Kai Parker x Reader
word count : 4 998
summary : Reader has feelings for Kai and tells him but he rejects her which leads her to become a vampire and turn off her humanity just as Kai comes back a new person after the merge.
* gif by shelleyhenign


“You don’t get it , do you?” said Kai with a little hint of amusement in his voice.”I dont feel emotions , I don’t care or feel anything. Emotions are nothing but a distraction plus I don’t even like you and even if those things werent true - you and me still would never happen. You are just not good enough for me. Why would I chose a human ?”

Kai’s words kept echoing in her mind. Having the person you have feelings for turn you down was not something unheard in human history , but doing it the way Kai had done it – her feelings had gotten hurt so badly she wanted it all gone. All the love she felt for him , all the pain - absolutely everything. Her friends didnt know about her feelings for Kai or about what had happened and Y/N didnt plan on letting them know either meaning compelling it away wasn’t an option. So that left her with option number 3 because clearly moving on wasnt going so well either. Becoming a vampire hadn’t been on her bucket list , but it was her only option and she could already hear the lectures from Elena and Caroline. They’d say how lucky she is to be still a human and be able to have a future , kids and a family. But those things just didnt matter to her if she couldnt have them with the person she loved. Kai wasn’t going to change - he will always be the same , so there was no point in waiting for the impossible either. He will always say whatever pops into his head , not caring what his words or actions do to the people around him simply because he had no emotions. Why should she remain a human ?

It had been a few days since Christmas and the siphoner had been safely tucked in into Alaric’s apartment on Whitmore campus until Jo was ready to do the merge. All her friends were taking shifts guarding him just in case and that day it was her turn. Y/N sat on the couch , glancing at him every few minutes refusing to go anywhere near him. There was a part of her that was 100% sure she’d pull out that tube from his arm and let him go. What she felt for him was so strong that even after he hurt her , she’d still free him and cross her friends. What the hell was wrong with her ?!
   "Hey Y/N. How is our comatose patient?” asked Damon handing her a cup with coffee. “He hasn’t caused any trouble , has he ?”
   "Comatose and no.” she said blankly, taking a sip from her coffee. What kind of a trouble can he cause if he is being unconscious ?
   "Whats wrong ?”
   "Nothing. What makes you think something is wrong ?” she wondered , trying to sound as normal as possible. Damon knew her too well not to pick up on her tells not to mention the way he was studying her face made her feel a little nervous.
   "Because I know you and short answers are not what you do.” said her best friend , lightly rubbing her shoulders. “Usually you dont shut up. Sometimes you are even more annoying than him.”
Y/N sighed. “I was just thinking how all my friends are supernaturals and wont age while I will turn into a wrinkled sag in a few short years. Its depressing. And of course there is that time at the corn maze when my human friends were all dying and I couldn’t do anything to help.”
   "You know if you want me to , I’ll turn you. Even though after that Elena and Caroline will bite my head off.“ said Damon sitting on the couch next to her.
Y/N started laughing. “They would wouldn’t they?”
   "Yeah. Look Y/N ,  there was a reason we tried to find the cure for Elena.“ he said calmly. “Being a vampire is not all that is cracked out to be and if you make that choice there is no going back.”
   "I’ve already made the choice Damon. I want this.“ she said serious. “You , Stefan , Elena , Caroline — you guys are not just my friends , you are my family. I love you all more than I can put into words and I cant imagine ever being without any of you. I want us to be together forever.”
Damon tucked up his sleeve and bit his wrist. “Well , if you are absolutely sure.”
   "I am.“ she replied taking his wrist , feeling his blood trickle down her throat for a few moments until she let go. He wiped away some of it from her chin with his thumb , still having doubts about what he had to do next. Y/N was his best friend , one of the few who can put up with him and were always willing to defend him even when he makes huge mistakes. What if turning her into one of them was one of those ?
   "Promise me , you will explain to Elena thats what you wanted and I didn’t push you into anything?”
   "You got it.“ she smiled. “Um … could you do it painlessly ?”
   "Of course , but I have to ask again - are you sure , really really sure ?“
Y/N nodded and a few seconds later Damon broke her neck , letting her lay down on the couch. He went to the kitchen to get a blood bag from the fridge to be ready for her when she wakes up , but somehow he couldn’t shake the feeling something was wrong and she hadn’t been completely honest about her reasons. When he came back Tyler was in the room , pulling out the tube with the sedative from Kai’s arm. Not too long after , Tyler was the one laying on the ground unsconcious and the young siphoner regained consciousness. On their way out of the house he stopped pointing at Y/N and glancing at the blood bag on the coffee table.
   "What is she doing here ?” he asked curious. “Is she sleeping ? Awwh look how cute she is now that she is not talking. I might even like her now.”
Kai took a step towards her but Damon pulled him away before the siphoner had figured out Y/N wasn’t breathing and had put two and two together.
   "Y/N? She was keeping an eye on you and you bored her to death.“ said Damon dragging Kai out the door. “Come on creeper. You want to do the merge , you have a deal to uphold."Not too long after that Y/N woke up , finding a blood bag on the coffee table waiting for her. The girl grabbed it without hesitation and completed the transition noticing Kai wasn’t where he was supposed to be and that this wasn’t the only thing that was off in that moment.
    "Tyler?” she said getting up and running towards him, checking for pulse. “Oh my God wh-what happened ?!”
Her eyes followed the tube in his neck and she pulled it out sitting on the ground next to her lifelong friend. What had happened after Damon had snapped her neck ? Damon. Y/N’s eyes widened and she reached for her phone in her pocket dialling her friend when Tyler groaned and started to wake up.
    “Hey , are you okay ? What happened ?”
    “I’m going to kill him.”
    “Him ? Who ? Kai ?”
    “No. Damon.”
Y/N looked at him with confusion in her eyes. “Damon ? Wha-”
    “I have to go. I’m sorry Y/N , thank you for pulling that tube out but I have to go now or Liv –”
    “Y-yeah of course.”
Y/N sat on the floor running her fingers through her hair , watching Tyler run out of the apartment when her phone buzzed - DAMON.
    “What the hell did you do ?” she said answering the phone.
    “Saved Liz’s life.” he said as if it was obvious. “I take it you completed the transition?”
    “Yes ? Why ?” she wondered.
    “Because we have a psychotic siphoner out on the loose. Kai gave me the slip.” he sighed. “Come over at the hospital. I’ll explain everything.”


After the merge with Luke , Kai had found himself in a situation he had never thought he’d be in. During the merge with his brother he had absorbed not only his ability to do magic but quite a few other things including his empathy. He had spent the entire night after the merge trying to figure out how to process all the emotional pain he felt. Every bad thing he had ever done came back into his mind and her regretted , if not all , at least most of them. Kai had no idea what was happening to him or why there was water pooling in his eyes while he kept writing it all down , including a letter to his twin Jo because for some reason he couldn’t find her. Afterwards he went to Damon to ask for help to deliver the letter to his sister.
Kai talked for a while with Damon and Elena and then someone else he had been wanting to see showed up , as if he had wished for it to happen - Y/N , the only person who had shown him some kindness among the Mystic Falls gang. About a week ago she had told him she has feelings for him and he had said some really hurtful things to her and he wanted to make it right.
Y/N stopped right at the door when she saw he was there. Kai couldn’t help but smile a little seeing her there though there was something different about her and he couldn’t understand what it was. Her hair had a blue strand mixed with her curls and her outfit nearly knocked him over. Last time they had met Y/N had looked hot , now she looked beyond hot wearing a slightly baggy ripped jeans with sneakers and a plain top.
   "Oh hey Y/N. I’m so glad you are here.“ he said getting up from the table. "I wanted to talk to you.”
   "Yeah. No , sorry. I have exams to study for.“ she said with a blank expression. "Can I go grab some of — you know ? Downstairs ?”
   "Why ? Did you get tired of – ?“
   "Y/N, please , I have to tell you something. I am s-” he blinked and she was gone. Kai turned around towards Damon and Elena with a look of confusion on his eyes. “Where did she go ? What – What did you do to her ?”
   "Haven’t done a thing. Y/N just doesn’t like you. None of us do. Haven’t you taken the hint already?“ said Damon.
No. That wasn’t it. Y/N might not have told her friends about the feelings she has for him , but Kai knew this girl couldn’t hate him. It just wasn’t who she was - he had gotten a good sense of her. Y/N was too good for her own good , too kind and too forgiving. Something was wrong.
   "The blood bag. You turned her.” thought Kai out loud. Why did he feel like his entire world has crashed and burned right this moment? “Why would you do that to her ? Was she hurt or something ?”
    “Because she asked me to.” said Damon. “Though that backfired. I should’ve seen it coming -”
    “Backfired ? What do you mean by that ?” interrupted Kai. “Damon. Tell me now or I am not going to help you.”
Damon took a sip from his bourbon. “Y/N turned off her humanity and turned into one of the biggest problems I’ve ever had.” said the vampire. “One thing I can’t figure out is why she’d do this right after she turned.”
Kai gulped. He knew exactly why - because of him. Another rush of guilt pulled him under at the realisation. There had to be a way for him to fix this and he was going to fix it , no questions about it , but first —
    “Where is the Ascendant ?”


Y/N was at the rave at Whitmore, having fun with Caroline who had just turned off her humanity too because of her mother’s death. Both of them had fun dancing and feeding , though Caroline had invoked a rule - no victims so they don’t attract attention. Y/N didn’t care much about that , or about anything really. Only thing she seemed to care about blood.
    “That guy keeps checking you out.” said Caroline pointing at one of the guys , not too far away from them. “He hadn’t taken his eyes off you the entire night.”
    “Maybe he is looking at you.”
    “No , no. It’s definitely you.”
    “Well then , I better go meet him.”
Y/N turned towards her friend with a smile and purple / black veins flashing under her eyes. Slowly she made her way through the crowd until she got to the guy. Her hands automatically hooked around his neck and they started dancing to the beat , almost in perfect sync and then out of the blue he kissed her. It felt weird not feeling a thing while making out with a hot guy like him, well almost nothing until Y/N’s vampirism kicked in feeling his blood pulsating in his veins.
    “You are not going to make a sound.” she compelled him , sinking her fangs into his neck the next moment. Not too long it felt as if every blood vessel in her head was exploding and she backed away from the guy , having her neck snapped a split second later.A couple of days later  Kai convinced Damon to bring him over to Bonnie who had found her way out of the Prison World , so he can apologise to her and after that hadn’t gone well he had started losing hope anyone would ever forgive him for anything. Right before the vampire had pulled him away , Kai had spotted Y/N in the crowd , ditching Damon straight away to get to her. Y/N had looked hot before but now wearing those black boots and those tight black skinny jeans with a white top with a skull like print on it , she looked even hotter. Quite literally taking his breath away the way she jumped up to the beat with a blue strand in her hair dancing around her shoulders. Last thing he wanted to do was cause her anymore pain but he had no other option if he wanted to grab her and find a way to turn her humanity back on — and maybe find a way to reverse her vampirism turning her back into a human.
After her body started to drop , he caught her and carried her to his car and then to his apartment , putting a boundary spell around it before cloaking himself and sneaking into Alaric’s apartment to ‘borrow’ some of his vervain supply.

A few hours later Y/N woke up tied to a chair with vervain ropes. Her surroundings were unfamiliar but she got an idea where she was when a familiar face popped right in front of her. Of course. Who else would be stupid enough to get the drop on her ? Under other circumstances she probably would’ve rejoiced to have Kai standing barely a metre away from her but not in this moment. There wasn’t a trace of emotion left in her.
  “What the - ” she wondered , struggling to get herself free, groaning in pain more and more each time as the vervain stung on her skin.
   "Hi.“ grinned Kai. "If you keep struggling , you will only get yourself hurt , Y/N. I just want us to talk , that’s all and then I will let you go.”
   "Charming. Do you always tie up the girls you want to talk to ? Or do you do that just to the ones you know can’t stand you?“
  "I tried talking to you the other day , remember? You ran off before I had said a word to you.” he said blankly. “So , you are a vampire now. Why would you do that to yourself?”
   "I had my reasons which do not concern you.“ she replied continuing to struggle against the vervain ropes.  Y/N had been a vampire for a few days but already hated vervain more than she thought possible. Kai had tied her ankles to the legs of the chair too making sure she couldn’t move even if she wanted to.
   "Did you do it because of what I said ?” he asked.
   "So full of yourself.“ she said a little amused. "Not everything happens because of you Parker. Why don’t you let me go and we can maybe go grab a bite somewhere ?”
   "Not letting you go until you turn that switch back on.“
   "Funny. Why have you taken that upon yourself ? Did Damon roped you into saving his best friend from ‘the biggest mistake she had ever done’ ?” she asked blankly. Seeing Kai like that was different - maybe because she was different or maybe because he had merged and according to the billion messages Damon had left her - he had feelings now. His eyes were filled with worry , sadness and regret. He looked almost broken.
   "I care about you thats why.“
   "You care about me ? Do you even hear yourself ?!” she said incredulous. “I dont feel emotions , I don’t care or feel anything. Your words , not mine.”
Kai got up from his chair , going to pour himself some coffee and Y/N used his distraction to pull on the ropes again with all her strength ignoring the pain from the vervain. A few seconds later she was free and quickly she ran towards the door , opening it and bouncing right off it the next moment.
   "What the hell?!“ she wondered , her hands hitting the invisible barrier over and over , pointlessly trying to get through it. Y/N sighed and turned towards him. Kai was  grinning at her while taking a sip from his coffee as if he hadn’t done a thing. A boundary spell. Should’ve known. she thought to herself.
   "You are not going anywhere sweetheart. Not until we talk and you turn that humanity switch back on.”
   "I’d rather kill you than talk to you or see you or be in the same room as you.“ she said through gritted teeth , whooshing herself towards him until their bodies were barely an inch from each other. "Let me leave now , or I you die.”
   "You won’t kill me.“ he said calmly.
   "Owhh ? Are you counting on my feelings for you to kick in at some point? Because they won’t. They no longer exist and as far as I am concerned neither do you.” she said with a mocking look on her face , seconds before purple black veins flashed under her eyes and her teeth sank into his neck.
Kai dropped his coffee on the ground , trying to push her off. Truth to be told he had been expecting that maybe seeing him would get her to flip the switch back on. He had heard multiple times that love is the strongest force there is and blah blah even though he didn’t understand any of it and he hadn’t expected her to actually try and kill him.
   "Motus.“ he muttered , sending her flying off him almost hitting the wall at the other end of the room. "Dang Y/N , maybe Damon was right. I didn’t want to believe him at first but you have lost everything that made you who you are by flipping that stupid humanity switch. You are not this person.”
Y/N wiped his blood of her chin and launched at him again , dropping on the ground with a spectacular witchy headache a split second later. Now she knew why Damon was always in a horrid vengeance mood after those. It felt as if every blood vessel in her head popped all over , healed and popped all over again.
  “I am going to kill you.” she said through gritted teeth.
  “No. You won’t.” he said calmly , taking a step towards her. “I am going to get you to flip that switch back on and then I will find a way to reverse what Damon did to you.”
  “Don’t — waste your t-time.” she struggled to speak. “I don’t n-need fixing.”
Y/N kept struggling to get to him and somehow break his concentration but he wouldn’t stop. He placed his hand on his wound healing it with magic wondering who was this person in front of him ? Surely he hadn’t been the nicest person ever , specially to her but — Kai couldn’t stand seeing her like this , though he had to admit her being a vampire how made her even hotter in his eyes than before. He closed his eyes hearing her scream and groan in pain rolling on the ground for a few moments before he stopped the spell and he knelt down next to her , brushing his fingers against her cheek.  
   "You are not this person Y/N. “ said Kai taking a step towards her. "You are kind , caring - ”
   "You still are.”
   "Please Y/N. I am really sorry about what I said and did that day.” he said gazing into her eyes. They were so cold and empty it broke him in half. “I didn’t see it back then but now I do and I know it is my fault you did this. I was a idiot , the biggest one rejecting you.”
   "Finally. One thing we can agree on.“ she said sitting up and starring at him blankly. There was no way he’d actually think any of this and even if he was , that wont make her flip it back on. Wont change what he made her do or erase all the pain he caused. Y/N leaned in towards him , brushing her palm against his cheek giving him a small smile. For a moment he smiled too , thinking probably somehow he had broken through the tough exterior or at least had made a crack.
   "You are pathetic.” she pit. “I am bored. Do you hate a deck of cards somewhere?”
   "Fine then. We do it the hard way.“ he said getting up, breaking her leg in the next moment. "You are going to turn it on now or I will keep breaking and breaking cuz – sweetheart , we both know I am the actual monster here.”
Y/N screamed in pain rolling on the ground but before she had had time to heal Kai flicked his wrist and her leg broke on another spot and another. Something in her mind started pushing its way through hearing his words. A flicker of  emotion , but she shoved it back where it came from before it had crawled its way out of the black door in her mind.
  “Turn it on.”
Kai flicked his wrist again breaking her other leg and her arm. He couldn’t stand what he was doing to her. Every flick of his wrist only added more to the guilt he already felt. What was he even doing ? After all of this there was no way she’d forgive him , ever.
  “Keep breaking Parker.” she started laughing. “It will be even more satisfying when I get to rip your head off after that.”
  “You are the best thing that has come into my life and I was so blind not seeing it back then.  I can’t live with the guilt of everything I did to you.”  his voice breaking. “I didn’t even know guilt can drown you without actually drowning you. It keeps me up at night -”
Y/N wasn’t listening. Instead she was running scenarios in her head on how she’d get her revenge after that , not caring that would mean Liv’s death or Jo’s death. Not giving a damn about how Alaric would react to losing his future wife and his unborn twinsies. Not caring what Tyler would do to her if his girl dies. Kai knelt down on the ground next to her , studying her face. His eyes were so different in that moment - filled with tears, pain and regret.
  “Kill me.” he dared her, stopping the spell. “Come on. Kill me.”
Y/N caught her breath laying on the ground. “You are bluffing.”
  “Rip my heart out.” he dared her again getting on top of her , placing her hand on his chest. “Put me out of my misery because I can’t live another second with the guilt about everything that I’ve done to you. Or to Jo or Liv. Or even Bonnie.”
Kai’s heart was racing so fast it felt as if it was trying to leap out of his chest and then a tear rolled down his cheek which he completely ignored. Their eyes were locked on each other and none of them was willing to look away from the other.
  “No.” she shook her head, pulling her hand away from his chest. “No , you deserve to live with it eating you away for the rest of your pat-”
Kai didn’t let her finish. There was one thing left for him to try , hoping that maybe it would get her to turn her humanity back on. He pinned her hands on either side of her head and his lips crashed against hers , hungry and demanding , pulling the air out of her lungs. At first she struggled trying to push him off her which only made him kiss her harder until she stopped struggling and returned the kiss. His grip on her hands loosened and she tangled her fingers in his hair , both of them moaning into the kiss until Kai pulled away , resting his forehead on hers.
  “I should’ve started with that.” he said out of breath , gazing into her eyes. “Please tell me it worked.”
His heart was racing faster than ever , still feeling her lips on his. Y/N just stared at him and a few tears rolled down her temples. “Get off me. Now.”
Kai’s face darkened but he did as she asked , rolling onto the ground next to her. He had hoped this would flip the switch , he hoped it had flipped it back considering how she had kissed him back. How it was possible that it hadn’t worked ?!
  “What did I do?” she muttered , covering her face with her hands. “Oh my God what did I do?”
  “Y/N?” he turned towards her. “What are you talking about ? Hey , talk to me.”
Y/N shook her head refusing to say a word and then it hit him - her switch had flipped back on and every emotion had came rushing into her mind. Kai removed her hands from her face , pulling her into his embrace. He knew exactly how she felt in that moment because he had experienced the same thing a few days ago.
  “I’m sorry. I am so sorry Y/N. It’s all my fault. I was an idiot , I am an idiot who hurt you so many times and led  you to do that to yourself , but I am going to fix it. I promise. I will find a way to fix everything.” said Kai , kissing her forehead. “I am so sorry and I know I don’t deserve  your forgiveness but I need you to give me one more chance to make things right.”
Y/N’s mind was racing like crazy - what was she thinking becoming a vampire. Turning off her humanity and shutting out everything that made her who she was ?! All those people she hurt , the ones who got killed because she couldn’t handle rejection. Tears were streaming down her face so fast it was pointless to try and stop them.
    “I know you hate me and you have every right to… I will spend every day until the rest of my life trying to make up for everything.”
Kai waited for her to say something , to stop crying  holding her tightly towards him. Slowly rocking back and forth trying to calm her down.
  “I bit you. Oh my God , I bit you..” her hands covered her face. “All the things I said. Everything I did.”
  “It’s okay. It wasn’t you , I know it wasn’t”
  “I am so sorry.” she cried turning towards him. Kai was crying too.
  “Does that mean you w-will you give me one more chance? I promise I will find out a way to make you a human again and  — maybe we can have a future – together. ” he wondered , wiping away a few tears from her cheeks.
   "Y-you want me to be a human ?” she said through tears. “But you said -”
   "I was so blind and ignorant , not realising what I had until I lost it. Please Y/N , give me one more chance. Just one.“ he pleaded.
Y/N smiled at him. "One more chance. D-don’t screw it up Malachai.”
Kai grinned at her , usually he’d have other reaction to people calling him by his full name but not with her. He loved the way it had rolled off her tongue , like its the most special thing in the world to her.
   "Wouldn’t dream of it.“ replied Kai , kissing her again.

Dean, but... not Dean - Dean Winchester x Reader

Title: Dean, but… not Dean

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 3,562

Warnings: None

Prompt: Hi! This is a request for a fic/imagine where dean and Y/N are a couple and get gender swapped accidentally basically. I think you’ve done that before? So something like that but different obviously.

You rubbed your eyes feelings more sore than any other time. You were known for loving sleep, who didn’t after all, and whenever you had the chance to - at least when this life allowed you to - you would end up sleeping till very late. But today for some reason you had broken every record you had. And that wasn’t the weirdest thing of all, because the previous day had been especially hard anyway.

Your body felt particularly heavy, more so than any other time. You didn’t even open your eyes as you sleepily made your way to the bathroom. You knocked on a few things but didn’t pay attention still, your vision slightly blurry. Well, it certainly cleared out when your eyes widened at the sight on the mirror.

The person staring back at you certainly wasn’t you. Not the you you had come to know over the years and not the you that stared at you every morning you looked into this specific mirror. For a moment you through Dean had played a joke on you but first; there was no way that man was going to wake up earlier than you, he was more of a sleeper (one of the things that made you love him all the more) and second and most important; the moment you made a move so did the person in the mirror.

And as if the thought of what that witch-bitch aid before she fell down was not disturbing enough the fact that the person staring back at you made it all even more worrying. You narrowed your eyes at the mirror and sure the person did the same. Everything started making sense and that was the most disturbing: it wasn’t a dream. It was all very real.

Short hair, sharp jaw with a slight scruff that you definitely didn’t have. Firm and broad chest that was covered in only a black t-shirt. Muscular arms and pretty much everything else that could show that you were no longer yourself but… a man. And not just any man. But Dean freaking Winchester.

“Fucking hate witches.” you grumbled, Dean’s voice surprising you when it came out of you.

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Burning it Down Smaug x Reader: All parts thus far

The moment that you felt the mountain tremble beneath your feet you knew for certain that Bilbo had awoken the beast. Running purely on adrenaline and concern, you rushed through the narrow passageways until you reached a great hall. The sight that met your eyes took your breath away. The hall itself was much larger than you had ever imagined. It was constructed of beautifully carved stone columns and was filled with enough gold to surely buy the entire world. You would have loved nothing more than to admire and explore this architectural work of art for hours on end, but you had to find Bilbo. You hadn’t even begun to formulate any sort of rescue plan, you just knew that you couldnt leave him to face Smaug’s wrath alone.

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au where isak teaches surf at the beach and on a boring tuesday there’s a tall boy walking towards him with a bright smile and pink cheeks from the warm weather and isak is stunned. until said boy stands on the surf board, saying he’s done this a few times and only needs a little more help, and he falls off and into the water and isak bursts out laughing but bites down on his bottom lip when even walks back up to him, “okay i might have been like 9 when i did this” and isak furrows his brows with a pout, crossing his arms, “really? couldnt tell ,u were really good” and cant help but laugh when even raises an eyebrow with a grin and a tilt of his head. “i need some tips i guess” and isak nods, “well. u got the look so thats done” and he points at his hair pulled back by sunglasses when even stares at him, even blushes and touches his wet hair but isak doesnt let him think of anything to say, he gets his own board and starts with the basics. after theyre done with that, there are a lot of touching involved, isak trying to get evens body right, “dude youre so tall” isak tells him when he’s between evens thighs and even rubs at the back of his neck, “yeah that. makes this even harder” and then isak is standing in front of him eyeing him up and down then theres a smile on his face “but not impossible” and then there are hands on evens waist putting him in place and isak thinks evens oblivious to how isak doesnt /need/ to linger his touch while he’s explaining other stuff, and isaks enjoying this way more than he should but even moves closer when after their lesson isak touches his arm encouragingly and none of them move for a while. isak tells even he needs a couple of more lessons and evens too quick to nod and agree. its 4 days later when isak asks even out on dinner to a small restaurant on the beach and its a couple of more hours after that when they have a race to the water and even splashes him jokingly, and its a few more minutes after that when isak cups his jaw and kisses even and the waves hitting at their ankles is soft and even kisses back when someone starts playing the guitar not that far from them

anonymous asked:

i want there to be a hc about possibly anonymous designer! adrien who designs to escape but doesn't want it to seem his father is helping and anonymous fashion blogger! marinette starting to talk and they send letters to one another and their pen names are chat noir and ladybug and on her blog you know it's something by her because of a little ladybug symbol next to what she wrote and you know he's designed something because of the little paw always on it. or possibly those roles are reversed?

i know you said headcanons but i couldnt help myself im so sorry

man no one should encourage me to do aaaanything. although this did bump me a bit out of my writing funk so thank you for that this is kind of like…..a how this situation would happen fic? sorta?

honestly i wrote most of this after 1am so no promises on quality of literally anything. i haven’t sewn in y e a r s. enjoy?

[on ao3 in case of problems opening]

Adrien knows that there’s a bit more than just a hint of irony in this situation. The son of a world famous designer, one of the top designers in the industry, hiding his designs. Adrien could easily announce that he’s going into fashion and be given not only all the supplies he could ever need but also all the publicity in the world in a matter of seconds.

But he won’t do that. He never will.

Being the son of Gabriel Agreste means two things:

  1. He’s expected to be perfect in every way.
  2. If he went into fashion, no one would believe he got there with his talent and hard work alone.

If people didn’t think his father got him a job directly, they’d think it was the name. The name Agreste is synonymous with high end fashion. The name and the designer are impossible to separate, even with Gabriel’s line being called Gabriel.

It doesn’t help that Adrien’s been modeling since he was born.

It’s kind of…cliche? that Adrien wants to go into fashion. You’d think that after so many years of being surrounded by it and smothered in it he’d stay far far away. But it’s the opposite. Adrien is expected to inherit the Gabriel fashion empire. He’s expected to possibly handle the business side but mostly just be the face. He doesn’t want that. He wants to be hands on, he wants to be creating. He wants to be like his father. There are very few times he is able to say that.

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Couldnt’ Not Have You (Newt Scamander x Reader)

Tripping over your feet, your face becomes an inch close to the ground before you feel Newt’s arms wrap around your waist and pull you up to him. Your chests collide against each other’s and you freeze. Looking up into his green eyes, you smile.

Here’s the thing. You loved Newt. Fucking deeply. And he loved you back. Probably with even more passion. But ever since you confronted him about your obvious feelings, he always brushed it off.

“Y/N. I’m much older than you. And-and someone like you, deserves so much more, so much better than me-me.”

“But Newt, I want you.”
And he just shook his head.

Snapping back to reality, your eyes refocused themselves on the blue green ones in front of you. Newt leaned down ever so slightly, staring longingly at your lips. He then shook his head, and backed away.

“We can’t.” he sighed.

“Why? I don’t get it Newt, why can’t we be together?” You asked hopelessly.

“It’s just… It’s wrong. I’m almost a decade older than you.”

“And? Age is but a number Newt…”

“Also, I… wouldn’t be good enough for you. I’m not. You deserve so much more. You’re a wonderful woman, you deserve a wonderful man.”

You raised your eyes to the ceiling in exasperation. But he was a wonderful man, you thought. Why couldn’t Newt see that he was all you wanted, all you ever needed? That he was the most kind, good man you’ve ever met?

You were head over heels for the man ever since you met him. The night you met him was inked in your memory clearly. You were out in the city, it was raining and all you were wearing was a white blouse from work. That’s when you heard a weird sound, and peering over your shoulder, you saw a bright purple snake slither on the ground. An Occamy, to be more precise. Having always been interested in Magizoology, you recognized the creature at once and rushed to its side. Murmuring soft soothing whispers, you successfully picked it up and sat down with it moving around in your lap comfortably. Its presence made you forget about the horrible weather until a clap of thunder shook the ground. All of a sudden the dreadful feeling of dampness and cold washed over your body once again. With a crack, a man Apparated a few meters away from you. He scanned his surroundings and spotted you sitting in a corner, all wet and cold.

“Miss, are you okay?” He rushed to your side. Then, spotting his Occamy, he blurted out: “Goodness! You found him! Did you-“

“Pet him, of course not. I’d rather keep my fingers on.” You chuckled.

“You-you know not to pet Occamies?” He asked unbelievingly.

“Of course, they defend themselves from a very young age. Would do the same if I were them, having shells made out of pure silver.” You said absent-mindedly. Newt smiled widely at you. He had never met someone else so knowledgeable over fantastic beasts before. Then, some sense slapped at him, and he realized you were shivering.

“Here, take my jacket.” He quickly said, taking off his teal coat and placing it on you. You looked very beautiful, he thought. Even more so, wearing his clothing. Then, you invited him over to your place, you got to know each other very well, he asked you to help him on his journey and well, the rest is history.

Newt cleared his throat, bringing you back to reality.

“Anyway, let’s drop it.” He shrugged.  

The two of you both descended down into his case, you collapsing beside Frank the Thunderbird, sighing heavily. You absent-mindedly petted him, frowning.

Newt glanced over at you guiltily before heading to the opposite end to feed other creatures.

He ran his hand through his hair in frustration, thinking. He truly loved you, he did. But you were so young, you didn’t deserve to be tied down to someone like him. An awkward antisocial man obsessed with beasts. Oh dammit, he thought. He loved you so much, but he couldn’t have you.

Newt always set that idea to himself. That your love would be impossible, forbidden. He did that, because, truly, he was afraid of having a real defined relationship with you. He had never been in a relationship with someone he loved so truly, and he was scared he was going to mess it up with you.


“Hey Y/N, wanna go for a walk?”

“Sure, I could use some fresh air.”

“Why don’t we go to Hogsmeade for a drink?”

You nodded, agreeing. Walking up to Newt, you wrapped your arm around his and he Apparated the two of you onto the cobbled streets of Hogsmeade Village. A whoosh of cold wind blew into your face and you snuggled up closer to Newt, not letting go of his arm.

You walked for a while, stopping now and then to look at some shops.

“Aw you guys are so cute!” A little Hogwarts student exclaimed at you guys.

“Couple goals!” Her friend cried out, spotting you two.

You chuckled, and looked up at Newt who was blushing furiously.

“OH um, we’re not um together.” He blubbered.

Your face fell.

“They’ll end up together.” One of the girls whispered to the other.

“I know right, it’s so obvious they love each other.”

You continued your way down the cobbled street, Newt thinking to himself. He was very happy, all of a sudden, as if those little girls’ comments made him feel lighter. Maybe, he did like the idea of you and him being a couple…

Your walk continued for another couple minutes, Newt pondering to himself furiously. He imagined different scenarios in his head; him being able to call you his girlfriend, him surprising you every morning with showers of kisses. The scenarios all lead him with the same feeling: happiness.

Being with Y/N has made me so happy, he thought. And loving her openly would make me more, he concluded.

He stopped in his tracks, taking you a bit by surprise.

“Y/N?” He nervously shuffled his feet. Shoot, he didn’t have anything planned and he didn’t imagine a script beforehand that he could follow.

He let his instinct take over.

Brushing a piece of your hair behind your shoulder, he placed both hands on your waist, and before you knew it, he leant down and placed his lips on yours.

You were taken aback, but it only took a fraction of a second for you to put your hands behind his neck and pull him closer to you.

You smiled into the kiss, unbelievably happy that this was actually happening. After god knows how much time, you pulled away. You looked up into those green blue eyes that were looking back at you with so much love.

“So what made you change your mind about the whole us not working thing?” You asked him curiously.

“I just couldn’t not have you.” Newt replied.

And he bent down to kiss you again, putting months of loving you but not doing anything about it into that kiss.


Originally based on: Imagine Dean breaking up with you for your safety but pretending it’s because he doesn’t love you anymore”


Anonymous said: I hope you do understand that while I’m here laying in the hospital with heart monitors and shit attatced to me I couldnt control myself when I read part two and like two nurses came running in and found me crying and I showed them and then we watched a couple of episodes and now we’re all crying messes in my room and eating my ‘get well’ chocolate. THank you so much for this, I wont forget it. And I love your writing but I’d like my and my nurses hearts back thanks <3

A/N: Hope you like it! One final part to go! :)

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Untitled (Part I)

Part Two (Part II)

Conclusion (Final Part)

(With excerpts from “Imagine watching the stars with Dean”)

Your name: submit What is this?


You were sitting on the Impala, the cool metal of the car supporting your legs; your back against the chilly glass of the windshield. It was a late night in August and the usual heat that Kansas maintained was nowhere to be found. Or maybe you had just gotten used to the weather of Lebanon, but that town was miles behind now. A chilly air threatened to wrap itself around your form, thin fibers of frigid wind swirling all around you and begging to take away the heat of your body.

But their attempts were useless against you, as you were not cold at all. Dean Winchester, the savior of this story (and dozens of others you loved recounting), had long ago given his jacket up for the common good–or your common good, at least. The soft cloth was now enveloping you with warmth and, what you liked the most about it, Dean’s scent.

It was the sort of smell that one would expect to find when curled up in the back of an old car, or more specifically, the Impala. But it was also the opening of a whiskey bottle and the pressing of the trigger of a shotgun. It was the scent of spending a night out camping: burning marshmallows and telling stories around a campfire before settling down to sleep underneath the stars. It was the sort of smell that one would expect from Dean Winchester. And lately, as you had happily found yourself thinking about it, it was also mixed with a certain other fragrance: yours.

But that was not the only heroic action, of course. One could not simply believe that to be the only way for Dean to express his hero complex. His arm was around your shoulders, pulling you as close to him as possible, and letting your head rest against his chest. You could hear his heart thumping against your ear loudly, strangely comforting you and a lullaby that was pulling you into a slight slumber.

“There it is,” Dean whispered suddenly, shaking you gently.

You yawned, opening your eyes slowly and looking up at him, carefully following his eyesight. An infinite number of specs of white blinked at you from the dark canvas of the night, crying out to be observed as the rare smile of the Mona Lisa would. They swirled and clustered with grace, just as little ballerinas in the middle of a dance, their shining faces smiling back at you.

“Exactly which one am I looking for?” you asked in the same quiet tone that he had spoken in.

There was always something about these little moments that made them sacred. They gave you the same feeling a library would, with the humming of the insects around you replacing the flipping of pages and the stars being the ancient tones of information.

“The Hunter; Orion.”

Dean raised his free arm to point at the sky, invisibly connecting the merry dots with his index finger, the final masterpiece making up what would appear to be the crude drawing of a caveman—but a masterpiece, nonetheless. Sometimes you would wonder how people would even find these patterns in the sky, and silently thanked them too, as their discoveries allowed for you and Dean to share your time with intimacy.

“Oh. I see it,” you nodded, observing the constellation for a few more moments before putting your head against his chest once again, breathing in his cologne deeply.

Dean smiled down at you, holding you just a bit closer to him and kissing the top of your head, letting his lips linger a little longer than necessary. His hand rubbed your upper arm slowly, his breath mingled into your hair and his heartbeat tranquilizing until it was matching yours.

Keep reading

DONT WORRY ABOUT A THING (Andy Biersack Imagine)
{Requested by anon :3}

You and your best friend Andy were hanging out on a saturday night as always. On the weekdays you guys wouldnt really see each other because he either busy, or spending time with his girlfriend Juliet. You had the pleasure of meeting her just last month, she was pretty nice to you, but you can tell just by looking straight into her eyes that she is a jealous type of girlfriend. You didnt blame her though, ever since you met Andy a little while back you always thought he was a good looking guy. But you never saw him as a boyfriend.
Just like every other saturday night, you rented batman movies, Andy could never stay away from anything batman. But thats okay, because you also loved batman just as much as he did.

You both were having a good time, until your expression became a little serious. “Hey dude.” you called out to him. “Whats up?” he asked. “Remember how during the week we would go to fun places or you would just sleepover my house and all?”
“Yeah, I miss those days they were fun.”
“Well so do I, why dont we do something like that this week?” you said. He shook his head, he had a lot of things to do and besides he had already made plans with his girlfriend. He explained just that to you right now.
“Oooh well thats alright.” You tell him completely understanding. You couldnt help but be a little bummed though, you kind of missed your best friend, and only seeing him on the weekends pretty much sucked for you.

Another week had passed since your movie night, the only way you talked to Andy was when you texted him. you were just sitting on your bed now doing just that, you were both laughing at the crazy texts you were sending each other. But Andy was also currently on his date with Juliet. She was glaring at him from across the table while his eyes were focusing on his phone, chuckling everytime he got a text from you.
“Uuuh, babe?…Andy!” she yelled.

Andy looked up and saw her mad expression.
“What is it?” he asked very concerned, he never saw his girl glare at him like that before.
“Would you please put your phone away we’re on a date here.” she tells him.
Andy did as he was told and held her hand. “Im sorry babe but (Y/N) is making me laugh right now.”
“Well stop paying attention to her and pay attention to me.” she whined.
“Aww honey are you jealous?” Andy cooed.
Juliet smiled a little but then she shook her head going back to her mad face.
The two of them ended up laughing together about it though and enjoyed the rest of their date night.

Weeks had passed, since Andy missed hanging out with you, he started spending more time with you. Juliet wanted to spend time with him as well but Andy has already told her that he was hanging out with you this whole week. Of course she did not like that one bit. Especially when he came home so late at night, she was starting to suspect that something was going on, something that she couldnt bare to handle.
Juliet sat on the couch, bored out of her mind flipping through channels on the t.v.
She takes a look at the time on her phone, its already passed midnight and she sighs running her fingers through her hair.
“Where the hell is he?” she asked herself, not only was she getting worried but she was also getting pretty pissed, mostly at you.

Andy finally came though the front door and she quickly up. “Andy what the hell?! Why do you come home so late?!” she questioned.
“Relax babe (Y/N) and I were just eating at a diner and we got caught up in the conversation.” He explained.
“Oh, so you didnt care that you had a worried girlfriend at home?!” She yelled.
“What is with you?” Andy asked a little irritated.
Juliet crossed her arms above her chest becomming even more pissed than before.
“Who the hell is this girl honeslty?! is she really your best friend or is she some bitch who likes to take away other people’s boyfriend?!”
“Juliet youre really being crazy!” He shouted.
“Oh yeah?! Well get ready for more crazy because I am confronting this girl!” She said grabbing her sweater and storming out of the house.

Andy tried his best to stop her from reaching you but it was completely impossible.
“I guess I really shouldve mentioned (Y/N)’s sexuality…” he muttered.
Moments later, you were ready to go to bed until you heard a banging at your door.
“The hell?…” you muttered and went to go open the door. A very angry Juliet stepped in and you became very confused.
“Uh hi Juliet.” you greeted.
“Dont you fucking hi Juliet me! What do you want with Andy huh?!” she shouted.
“What do you mean?”
“You know what I mean (Y/N) why do you keep spending so much time with him?! He hasnt even been hanging out with me because he wants to spend more time with you!! so what do you want?! to take Andy away from me?!”
You stood quiet for a minute and then out of nowhere you bursted into laughter.

Juliet became confused for a moment herself but then your laughter only pissed her off more.
“The fuck are you laughing for?!” She yelled.
You tried to catch your breath before you were able to speak.
“Okay obviously Andy has never really told you about me.”
“Like what?”
“Like the fact that I dont even like boys.” you tell her. She thought about what you said for a moment, then she finally realized. “Ooooh you mean?-“
“Thats right, I like girls, look Juliet Andy is like a brother to me, nothing more, and Im really sorry for well…taking him away from you, I dont want you to think wrong or hate me so I’ll cancel the plans we have for next week.” You say.
she immediately shook her head, “Oh no please dont, oh my goodness Im so sorry for going ape shit on you Im such an idiot.”
you giggled, “its okay to be the jealous type I actually find that pretty cute.” You say to her.
She went ahead and gave you a hug, of course you hugged back. At the end it all worked out and the two of you became good friends.
You even started spending time with both her and Andy.
you always went to bed with a smile on your face, because not only was Andy like a brother to you Juliet was now like a sister.

(Not really confident in this one but I still hope you liked :))

P!NK Kryptonite!! Oh, sh*t! Part 2

Lol. I told you I was no good at crack. It’s turning into an angsty mess.

Rated T


By some miracle, Kara managed to make it through the next several hours. That is, until Cat brushed against her walking by on her way out of her office and Kara leaned in to sniff her hair.

It was a ridiculous impulse. But then she couldn’t help herself from actually taking a few steps after Cat and inhaling the scent deeply. Cat turned around, hearing said inhalation. Again, Kara was following a little too close and they bumped into each other.

Cat held her hands up, as if protecting herself and asked, “Honestly, Keira, what is going on with you today?” She was irritated.

“I’m so sorry, Ms. Grant,” Kara apologized softly, “you just smell so good.” Shit! Her hand flew over her mouth, willing no more words to come out. “Um,” she spoke from behind her hand, slowly lowering it. “I mean, you smell good every day. You know, like flowers, a little.” Shut up! Kara shut her eyes and scrunched her face.

When she opened her eyes, Cat’s expression had changed to amusement. She had her head cocked to the side and one side her mouth was quirked up in an adorable half smile. Kara shot forward and crashed their mouths together. In her mind! She shot forward and crashed their mouths together in her mind! She shut her eyes again and shook the image out of her head.

Cat took a step forward and put a finger at the top of Kara’s chest. “You,” she said slowly and quietly. Kara swore she was being seductive on purpose, “need to get your shit together.” She ghosted the tip of her finger down Kara’s chest to the point where her buttons came together over her cleavage. Then she brought her mouth so close to Kara’s face that Kara could feel her breath. “Or you’re going to regret all of these playground shenanigans.”

Cat turned to leave Kara standing there, paralyzed, her mouth hanging open.

After she recovered, she ran to her desk and pulled up her messenger. She typed in Clark’s name with an ‘SOS!!’. Clark responded quickly:
C: ‘What is it?’
K: 'Something really weird is happening to me! I keep having fantasies of Cat. Vivid ones.’
C: 'Fantasies?’
K: 'Yes, Clark, FANTASIES!!!!!!! And these compulsions that are taking everything in me to fight.’
C: 'Sounds like Pink Kryptonite.’
K: 'What?’
C: 'Pink Kryptonite. I came in contact with it once. It makes Kryptonians gay.’
K: 'Gay?’
C: 'Yep. Gay.’
K: 'Shit.’

That was all she had time for. Cat was coming back. Kara noticed that people were beginning to filter out of the office for the day. She discreetly looked around, wondering where this mysterious Pink Kryptonite could be. She searched all over her desk and didn’t see any trace of anything that looked like it didn’t belong. She looked toward Cat’s office. Maybe it was in there. And she definitely wanted to go in there.

She slowly rose from her chair. The office had emptied. Her eyes were glued to Cat’s form behind the desk. She crossed the threshold and stood there. Watching Cat. All manner of possibilities flying through her head at super speed. So. Many. Possibilities. The unseen force that had plagued her all day was moving her feet forward.

Cat saw her and stood as well. She had a smirk on her gorgeous face. “What now, Keira?” She put a hand on one hip. “Come to admire my eyes? Maybe compliment my ass?”

Kara couldnt handle it any more. Her mind couldn’t fight it. She let the images in her mind drive her. She simply responded, “Yes.”

Cat was shocked. She hadn’t expected that. She dropped the hand from her hip and her expression became serious. “Kara,” she began. “What are you doing?”

That was the last straw. Her name on Cat’s lips. “Getting my shit together,” she whispered. Kara quickly closed the distance and tightly wrapped her arms around Cat’s slender waist, pulling her into herself and pressing their mouths together. For real. To her surprise, she felt Cat’s hands come around her shoulders. She kissed her back.

It felt like permission. At least that’s how Kara took it. She opened her mouth and pressed harder. Cat did the same. The kisses turned frantic and hands began to roam.

Kara needed more. She pushed Cat against the edge of the desk. Then she broken contact for just a second. With one big movement she cleared most of the desk, sending its contents crashing to the floor. They heard some pieces of glass shattering. But they both ignored it.

They were looking at each other, breathing hard. Kara’s eyes were wide. Cat had a predatory grin on her face. She was clearly aroused.

They moved toward each other at the same time, colliding with need. Their mouths moved against each other. Their teeth scraped. Kara easily set Cat on the edge of the desk and roughly pushed her back down onto it. It was rougher than she meant for it to be, but Cat didn’t seem to mind.

Cat grabbed one of Kara’s arms and pulled her on top of her. They were pulling at each other’s clothing, trying to get the contact they needed. For the next however long, they certainly weren’t paying attention, they gave each other glorious orgasm after glorious orgasm.

After a while, the heated passion settled down to gentle kisses. Somehow they had ended up on the floor. They helped each other dress and stood in the middle of the office staring at each other, arms lightly wrapped the other’s middle.

Suddenly the unseen force went to work again. You’ve got to be kidding me, Kara thought. But after giving in once, it seemed impossible not to again. She leaned in and kissed Cat deeply. She didn’t mean to, she didn’t even want to. She just wanted to hold Cat, but she was involuntary pulling at her clothing again.

Cat pulled back, “Kara. I know you’re young and eager, but maybe we could talk.”

Nope. Kara definitely couldn’t talk. Not now. She needed Cat. Again. But as she looked in Cat’s eyes and saw nothing but affection she was overcome with guilt. She let go of Cat and took a step back. Shit. “I’m so sorry, Ms. Grant.” With terrified eyes, Kara made a break for it, walking quickly from the office.


30 Day OTP Challenge - Day Two: CuddlingA/N: This definitely is not one of my best but for some reason I had a hard time with this challenge…anyway, I hope  you enjoy!

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Castiel swallowed hard, doing his best to avoid eye contact with Dean as he stood on the side of his bed, “Not really.”

Dean softly groaned and sat up fully, “You should talk to me about it, Cas. I can’t help you if you don’t-”

“I had a bad dream.” He took in a shaky breath, “a nightmare.”

“We know that much already.” Dean turned on the small lamp beside his bed and gave Cas a ‘go on’ look.

“You were in it.” He whispered, refusing to make eye-contact with the hunter, “We had..we just finished a hunt and..I thought we killed them all. So I kept walking and I heard you scream..”


“They killed you and I- I couldnt stop it Dean.” Cas was full on crying now, his hands shaking as he brought them to his face, “It was my fault.”

“No, No it wasnt. Com'ere.” Dean stood and pulled the ex-angel to him, his hand cupped the back of Cas’ neck while the other brushed his back softly, “Nothing bad is going to happen to me, you wouldn’t let that happen. Just like I wouldn’t let it happen to you.

Cas buried his face in Dean’s neck, wrapping his arms around his waist to pull him closer, “I care about you so much.”

“I know.” Dean whispered, “Lets go to bed. You can stay with me again if you’d like.”

Castiel nodded, remembering how just a few days ago he had the same problem and Dean let him stay. He woke up the next morning in Deans’ arms and neither said anything about it, but Cas couldn’t help to wonder if Dean had been thinking about that morning just as much as he had.

They climbed into the bed, Dean on the left and Cas on the right, and as if they had been doing it for an eternity, fell into each other. Dean wrapped one arm around Cas’ waist as Cas laid his hands against Dean’s chest, but it wasnt until he felt a pair of lips against his forehead that he allowed himself to meet Dean’s eyes.

“Don’t look so shocked.” Dean chuckled, his voice growing tired again, “You know the way I feel about you.”

“I have bad dreams almost every night.” Cas blurted, “I mean, I-”

“Stay here then. Just, stay with me. That way when you wake up from the nightmares, you can see that I’m right here beside you.” Dean brought his hand to cup the angels face, “Okay?”

Castiel kissed the side of Deans hand and closed his eyes, moving his head back down to the hunters chest, “Thank you, Dean.”

“Anytime.” He whispered back and brought Cas impossibly closer.

It didn’t take long for the both of them to fall into a comfortable sleep with a soft smile on each of their faces.


The morning came quietly, and Castiel stirred only for a few seconds before opening his eyes, finding a pair of green ones staring right back at him.

“Morning, sunshine.” Dean smirked and lazily placed his hand on Castiel’s waist, “How’d you sleep?”

Cas smiled, “Very well, and you?”

“I haven’t slept that good in I don’t know how long.” He confessed, nibbling on his lip, “I, uh, I kind of like waking up with you here.”

Castiel no longer wanted to hold back, instead of replying right away, placed his lips on top of Deans. It only took a moment for Dean to kiss back and they both sunk into it, their hands roaming each others body. Dean softly bit the bottom of Cas’ lip and slipped his tongue in when allowed the entrance, smiling softly when a moan escaped Castiels lips.

“I take it that you like it too.” Dean chuckled after pulling away for air, “But its till early, what do you say we drift on back to sleep for a little while?”

“I would like that very much.” Castiel responded with a smile, thinking about, for only a second, how grateful he was for those nightmares.

this is deep and extremely personal but heres to everyone going through a rough time

it took a while, to get like this. true smiles and true happiness, enjoying every moment of everyday, being friendly to everyone and expecting no reward. i once was sad, bitter, and cold. smiles were all fake and followed by a feeling of empty coldness. i felt numb or no emotion even when i was surrounded by what mattered most. i focused on what i didnt have. even though i had enough, i wanted more. once i got what i wanted, i found something else to want. i was never satisfied. constantly waiting for something that was never going to come. i hated being sad, but i was addicted to it. i wanted to get better, yet i was in love with the sadness. weird sounding, i know. trust me, its much more complicated. i was blinded by what i felt other people had and couldn’t see what was right in front of me, which was better than anything anyone could ever ask for. nothing made me content. even when i was happy, i felt a darkness inside. i wanted to scream out what i was feeling, i wanted everyone one to know, yet i couldnt tell a soul i was breaking inside.
until one day, none of that mattered anymore.
my mom was diagnosed with stage 4 GE junction cancer. the moment i was told this i instantly forgot about any of my 15 year old high school issues. all i could think about was: my mom could die. i might not have a mom next year. i was in shock. i couldn’t believe what was happening. i suddenly had a pain in my stomach worse then any i have ever felt before. worse then the time i had the stomach flu for 3 months. worse then the time i had rumors going around about me .worse then the time i made a stupid decision and felt extremely guilty. worse then the time i felt everyone hated me. but none of those pains even came close to the one i was feeling that day. then, something happened. a voice popped in my head, telling me everything was going to be okay, telling me everything happens for a reason, telling me i was put on this earth for a very special reason, telling me all this was going to do was make me stronger.
from that point on, i changed. i stopped worrying about friends and 15 year old popularity. all of that seemed so irrelevant. i just wanted my mom to be okay. i spent much more time with my family. i noticed how when i was with my family, there was no pressure to be something i wasnt. no pressure to reach that bar that was impossible to reach. I realized that the problems i thought i had were microscopic compared to the huge hill standing in front of me right now, and even smaller to other peoples issues. it was like my eyes were opened up. i was no longer blind. i saw how the life i hated was actually amazing. i saw how lucky i was to have such an amazing support system, family, friends, everything. i realized how i took everything for granted, how i was wasting my time with the people that mattered most in my life by being sad about things.
i stopped judging, i stopped gossiping, i stopped making fun of people, i stopped trying to be someone i wasnt. i started smiling at strangers, trying to make everyone i meet remember me as a good person. i started acting as if someone i never met before was my friend. i tried making other people happy.
i began to be myself. i found new hobbies, i became more passionate. i grew stronger as a person. i realized that i only need a few close friends. one of which i consider as my sister, someone who helped me more than she can ever imagine and i love her. i realized that family is the strongest thing you can have.
my mom passed away on june 12, 2015. she suffered for about 3 months after being diagnosed. she suffered more than anyone should ever have to. she was the best person in the entire world and i feel sorry for you if you didnt get the chance to meet her, she was that amazing. she was not only my mom, but my best friend. i miss her more than anything, i think about her every day. but i do know she is always with me. she made me realize without even doing anything what actually matters. highschool is 4 years of your life. in proportion to how long u will live, thats nothing. anything that happens now is irrelevant to what will matter in 10 years. there is too much good to focus on the bad.
there is good in everything, sometimes its just harder to find that good than others. stop worrying about the things that you wont care about in the future. start focusing on the things that will make you smile in the future. make your future self be able to look back and think, “i made the most out of that” and “that made me a better person” and “that made me stronger”. start being nicer to people, it will make both you and them happier. be optimistic, i know its hard, but after a little bit of practice, it will come natural. the struggles in your life are essential to the person you have to become, dont fight them, work your way through them. the right way. make every day as if it is your last. make every moment with every person as if it is the last time you will ever see them. let everyone know they are a relevant person and that they mean something. be happy with what you have, make the most of it. for all you know, it could be gone tomorrow. you are who you are for a reason. you have been put on this path for a reason. take on the challenge of finding out “why”.