i couldnt get it to time right

I have bought 7 dolls in 8 months and am already thinking of the 8th. I used to secretly, just very slighty judge people who spend so much and keep buying one after the other, but now I can see how easily it happens. It’s because I recently started working again and was able to get my own place, so I dont have anything stopping me. Its also because a bunch of limiteds I ‘had’ to have all came out with less than ideal timing relative to eachother. There’s non-limited dolls I want to but they’ve all been postponed since its ok to not get them right away whereas these limiteds are only going to get harder and pricier to get, which means I have to grab them immediately. I’m sure people here are familiar with this issue. Now, bills etc always come first, and individually, I love all these dolls and I couldnt tell you which I like the best, so at least I know I’m not blindly flinging money around on impulse buys. But when I see them all together, I start to panic as I see the space they take up, and then I start to calculate in my head how much money I have spent on them. Its so much money, and it happened so quickly. I want to enjoy them, but I just feel this sense of shame at my lack of restraint, especially when I think about what others might think, such as my family. But there’s still more that I want, at least 5. I want to believe I’d finally be satisfied and stop when I have them all but Im terrified that I wont be and this will just keep going. I’m so scared this addiction could spiral out of control (even more than it already has) and then I’ll never be able to properly save money. And yet, I could never part with these guys because I love them too much. I dont know what to do :c


anonymous asked:

Hey hun, in 2x13 when claire tells bree a little about jamie, she confesses how she never meant to fall for him but couldnt help it. is there anytime in the books were claire goes into detail with bree about what its like to be in love or does bree see it for herself when she witnesses them together?

The closest we get to Claire telling Brianna is right at the beginning of Dragonfly in Amber:

“I loved Frank,” I said quietly, not looking at Bree. “I loved him a lot. But by that time, Jamie was my heart and the breath of my body. I couldn’t leave him. I couldn’t ,” I said, raising my head suddenly to Bree in appeal. She stared back at me, stone-faced.

I think it really takes until Brianna sees Jamie and Claire together in Drums of Autumn (and to be married herself) for her to appreciate the true depth of their love - and just why Claire crosses time to be with Jamie. Because, like her father, Brianna is a bit stubborn - and sometimes needs to see things for herself in order to fully appreciate them:

“I don’t want to live with you, if you came back for duty,” she said. She looked at me then, her eyes soft with pain. “I’ve seen a marriage made from obligation—and I’ve seen one made for love. If I hadn't—” She stopped and swallowed, then went on, looking at Roger. “If I hadn’t seen both, I could have lived with obligation. But I have seen both—and I won’t.”

I felt as though someone had struck me in the breastbone. My marriages, she meant. I looked for Jamie, and found him looking at me with the same expression of shock I knew was on my own face.

50 followers raffle!

first of all i just want to say thank you so much to all of you! i never expected to get this much already,you guys are all so sweet! also i just wanted to tell each one of you thank you for congratulating me and commenting on my previous posts but i couldnt since i still dont know how to reply directly to them without reblogging it every single time.so i will tell you guys right here that every comment,reply,like and reblogs are very much appreciated~

so the essential info are already up on the image above

i hope this one goes well and good luck to all of you~

Heya ! I cant draw digital art‚so can I ask you for something ? Btw you dont have to do it its your choice to do or not xD. but Can you draw my character Ryu (the raging one with the red background)
And your chara and frisk as people you see with yellow and blue background ?
Cuz I really want my see my character as a raging gamer and yours like “wtf?!?” lol.
Man I felt really rude right now ‚ wanting something like this from you…you have already drawn me a pic which I like a lot and I couldnt even draw something for you.I thought my traditional art style doesnt worth yours lol.
Anyways I talked so much sorry.I just wanted to ask something like this.I cant force you or I cant make you spend time for something that including my character.
I love you ! (Pls dont get it wrong)
Stay awesome as always with your perfect art which makes me happy to see !


Hi there! Thank you so much for your nice words! 

I like your works, and of course Ryu too! But I’m sorry that I don’t take requests. I don’t want to be rude, I hope you understand me.. v.v

And it’s ok you don’t have to draw anything for me, I draw you a picture because I like your characters ^^ Sorry again!


the short version of the mental illness situation is: with the help of some friends (truly, thank you all for being honest when i asked you to) i realized and came to terms with some long running trauma that turned into an obsession. i was pretty much 24/7 preoccupied with wondering when people were eventually going to get fed up and leave me or yell at me already. not consciously, but every conversation with someone felt like a ticking time bomb and id start getting frantic to get away from people before they realized what/who i was.

like, maybe you had a rough childhood. it was okay and not constantly bad. you survived it so it couldnt have been that bad, right? that was me. i was spoiled rotten as a child but there were parts that i now realize were way more serious and genuinely, sincerely, awful. i kept trying to downplay how i felt and minimize it which just gave me an impregnable smokescreen of “how can i feel justified in feeling this terrible when nothing has ever happened to me?”. now the smoke screen is down because i know why. it wasnt my fault. i did what i could by surviving it. and the external aftermath has basically been handled already. so now i just have to work on the unhealthy coping mechanism i was left with. the hard part’s over! when you know the nature of the disease you can finally treat it. 

a friend recommended the book “toxic parents” to me and i highly recommend it as well if you find yourself suffering from anxiety/depression today. ofc its not a one-size-fits-all answer for everyone’s problems, but its worth looking at at the very least. its what completely flipped me around. i thought the little questionnaire at the start of the book was like horoscopes in that they applied generally to everyone. i guess…not. this was the part that stopped me dea din my tracks because thats….me

it also helped me identify some horrible, unsavory patterns i adapted as a result of everything that i hadn’t identified yet. being aware of it means i can check myself before i make a dumb move. codependency fucking sucks to be on the receiving end of (ive been both parts of this equation) and im sorry i let it dump on people i like. when i was reading the info about it i was like “aww crap thats me”. when i get my shit more under control i have some apologies to toss around.

this turned out not short at all. hey, i think being open about this kind of thing is important. its a breath of fresh air to feel like i can love myself at last without guilt. or learn to anyway. baby steps! good luck. thanks for listening. tip your waiters

yoyoyo guess who couldnt control her money spending ass and attended another MAMAMOO FANSIGNING ?????? yes its fucking me and this time it was in jamsil. no regrets tho!
first of all i asked if i can get my melting album signed instead of the memory one bc i rlly dont need a third lmao and the fan manager allowed it for me (in english while smiling and looking me right in the eyes and no im totally not crushing at mamamoos fan manager ahahhahah byeee) yeah SO i got to byul first like always. she was surprised to see a melting photobook and said “oh 넌 is 뭔들 ???” also bc my name tag somehow disappeared she added “name?” and it was totally cute… anyways i started to spell my name out for her and it ended up her writing GTALE instead of TALE lmaooo i told her the G is wrong and she X’d it out and said “oh my goood” so now i have GTALE with an X’d out G and i love it ! hehe~ after all this mess i gave her a hamster plush and pointed out that it also looks like the hamster i got tattooed and she was whining smth like aww ottoke so cuuute thank youu!! (everything in korean i just dont know how to write it 8D..)
miss yongsun greeted me with a warm hellooo and i handed her a german-korean language book and she was immediately looking in it searching for hello in german but she couldnt find it that quick so she asked me “anyeonghaseo?” i answered “guten tag!” so she repeated that and said wow! haha i also got her those pin thingies for her crocs DONT HATE ME YALL ahahaha i rlly hope to see them in the future on her precious crocs okkk. then she wanted to know again what thank you means in german but my brain was like way off and she was asking me like 4 times until i said “Ah! danke schön!” and she took my hands and said danke schön danke schön danke schön so often like last time lmao i swear she’s so cute i canttttt~
now to wheein! i got her like a big ass plush bear who’s so cuddly i actually would have liked to keep it for myself haha but yeah i got that thing out of my bag and gave it to her and she was like “waaah cuuute!!!” and wasnt rlly paying attention to me anymore but idc bc she’s too adorable ;0; she was slapping that bears butt and also showed it to hyejin i’m so satisfied with that lmao (she still thanked me tho, my cutiepie) soo for hwasa i bought like a can of german beer and she was laughing at it and pretended to drink it and then i also gave her a package of these ring chips, u kno the ones from the last mmmtv ep she had on her face?? i told her i thought it was so funny bc i actually have a golden septum and golden ear piercings and showed her my ears and stuff. she laughed again while also making weird noises idk loool i managed to say “i love you” and like wheein last time, she said “me too” ahaha anyways our hands were touching a lot and i said bye and went on my way off the stage but… i forgot my photobook and hyejin was like oh! and i was like oh! and i ran back and got it from her 8D
yoooooo this was like unnecessary detailed but you can tell i’m a happy moo. also the time after signing was especially great! i got to hear hyejins zootopia gazelle aka shakira imitation and also byuls famous BA BA BONAAAANAAAA~ ahahhaa (and they called their fanmanager cute and she was so embarrased and i was dying inside bc it was so ADORBSS and i really am trash for her)







goshshs um im gon ramble for two seconds of ur time but like.. can u just imagine bein married to hob.. listen my flaky sagittarius ass aint never thot bout marryin a man in my life but.. just the thought of coming home to him at night and getting to hold him close and kiss him on that spot right below his earlobe and ask him how his day was um ?????????? and listen to each othrr and dance together while we cook dinner and goof off about baby names oooooh my goshsfgh like thats the kind of corny ass love that makes my heart drop out my ass bc catch me dead before you catch me marryin a man but the idea of being w hoseok for the rest of my life and not just being happy with him but being at low points and getting to be there for each othrr and maybe raise a few kiddos along the way makes me want to step in front of a moving vehicle

i remember how weird.. just… like being asleep is. one time i had a nightmare about my mother turning into a monster and comin to get me and i was able to say “bitch ur not real this isnt real” and the monster was just kinda like “shit u right wtf” then i woke up inside ANOTHER nightmare repeating the scenario then i woke up and i couldnt fucking move i had sleep paralysis wtf

Shes got this typa style aint no woman can bite
The typa lady in heels or boots she looks amazing tonight
Remember you from highschool
So clearly so bright
So high its all a blur
But on worse days shes the cure
Lady from my fantasy
Come and bless me tonight
With a smile and sparkle in your eye
You leave me speechless
No lie
Wanna live life reckless
As long as i got you by my side
Aint no worries in life
You take em all away, so hold on tight
We’re going all the way, it feels so right,
But baby please just stay
Man i couldnt handle when things went wrong
Knowing damn well this where we both belong
To get shit popping get shit started
Faded but man she still talking
I gotta hold on she so fine
Got no time to lose
Of her
Theres only just a few
So lets
drink up
Get fukked up
Get lifted
Get high
Smoke on some good kush
Cuz tonight we might just die
Shots get took words get said
Hits get taken man I’m blown
Please don’t go
Please don’t leave
Im so lonely
I need you
Fuck these people
Fuck these folks
With you they dont compare
Night or day i just gotta say
You got me hopped up on drugs
Aint no thrill
Ain’t no rush
I just, wanna feel the buzz
I just, wanna feel some love
So i…
Take more than i need to
Ain’t got cares left in this world
It’s about time i take that jack take those pills and just overdose

waiting a bit more for a membership

random thing,i finally got to earn money from drawing and stuff and im very happy about it,one thing i always wanted to do once i earn my earn money was get a membership from some games i like,well im once again lucky that i couldnt do that since i actually dont have a credit card yet,guess i’ll just keep earning until the time is right

Hey my dudes, two people on the tumbles saw my post about me getting sick before i took it down because there was some stuff that was dark and i decided that maybe i shouldnt jump the gun. On tuesday, I went to the emergency room. I have a bacterial infection in both of my kidneys, and the doctors had given me the wrong antibiotics when i went to the doctors on monday. By the time i got to the emergency room, i couldnt walk. They put two IV’s in me and a third with antibiotics, the right ones i needed in the first place. I’m not mad at the doctor i saw because she was extremely busy that day, and she did a urine scan and saw that it was bacterial. She didn’t know that it was in my kidneys, and just said that it was only my bladder. It’s not really her fault. However, when I was in the emergency room they took another urine sample and they took my blood. The doctor felt up my tum and sides and my kidneys were swollen. They had me drinking pedialyte along with the ov to stay hydrated. My mom had been with me along with her boyfriend and my little sister, and the doctors told my mom that i could possibly have gone into kidney failure. After they gave me the antibiotics and checked everything, I was ok to go home. I did not go into kidney failure, and my kidneys were no longer swollen. They told me that if i continued to have fever and tremors to come backto the emergency room immediately and to stay hydrated. Luckily, I didnt have to. I almost died, and I’m still not better from the infection. I still have it, so im trying my best to stay as healthy as possible. And i want to thank every single one of you who still look at this blog, because you guys who ask for art, or ask me questions, or draw me things, you all give me a reason to stay here and be alive. Thank you.

If any of you have any questions please ask, or if you want to know something about me, the blog, art stuff etc… please ask ówò