i couldn't use a comma there

  • critic: your pacing needs a lot of work
  • me: i agree, couldn't nail it down
  • critic: you introduce too many characters without spending enough time fleshing them out, their motivations or their personality
  • me: i can definitely see where i messed up there now that you mentioned it
  • critic: the plot never seems to figure out what it is and you mistake the power of ambiguity with just outright confusing contradiction
  • me: that is absolutely true
  • critic: also you use too many commas
  • me: i'll see you in hell
Good Roleplaying Tips To Help You Out

Since people are always afraid of messing up in front of me or are too nervous to send a starter, or even ask, I decided it make this! It’s to help make people more confident in their writing by making it better and stronger!

1. Commas commas commmas
•Always use commas, they help separate a sentence and add quick spaces where characters make a slight pause.
2. But not too many commas!
•Put too many commas and it looks unnatural, it’s not good to read with them all in there
3. Punctuation!!
•Putting more than one of something at the end adds to it, but how many is too much?? For exclamation marks, I use a maximum of three in normal writing and a maximum of five in all capital letters. For question marks, leave it at three. Periods? Next bullet mark!
4. Ellipses…
•Whether it’s in between words or at the end of a sentence, ellipses show where there is hesitance! Use a minimum of two, and change it up a bit. You don’t want you sentence looking like this “And… I was just… tired… you know?” So make it like this: “And I was just… so.. tired… you know..?”
•The maximum I advise is five periods and only five ellipses maximum in a sentence!
5. Apostrophe’s?
•They make everything easier to read! It’s better all around and a lot more smoother.
6. Stuttering and hesitation
Let me get this point out. Nobody really talks like that if they have anxiety or if they’re scared. “I-I d-didn’t m-mean t-to” that’s unrealistic. Here’s what you can do instead! Ellipses!! “I.. I didn’t.. I didn’t mean to…” and yes, you can add some of this “f-fuck!” Every once in a while, but don’t put that there every single time.
7. Names
Okay, so the issue with this is actually replying with names. It’s best to give a character a nickname, that way you have more than just their name and pronouns to use.
“Conscious cries, he can’t help it. ‘I’m sorry!’ He sputters, a sobbing mess.”
Okay so they reply, right? DO NOT put the same name you used before.
“He nods in understanding. 'I.. I see..’ Tom whimpers out, looking at the ground.”
Boom, another reply.
Oh, what’s this? Do not start with their name at this point. Start with dialogue.
“'No, no… I really do understand.. I’m just… not in a good place right now…’ he shakes his head tiredly.”
Luckily for some people, they have multiple nicknames for their characters, but only some. So use that to your advantage!!
8. Things ending in 'ly’
Happily, sadly, tiredly, all things like that. Never put two in the same sentence. It makes it sound strained, so try to avoid putting “He hugs ___ softly, smiling slightly.” And instead put “He gives ___ a soft hug, smiling slightly.”
9. Spell and grammar check!
•Normally you won’t have to worry about this but sometimes you need to know what your character just did. It’s good to recheck, even if you think you got it. Read it out loud so you know it sounds like you want it to. If it doesn’t, figure out a way to make it. Search up words and synonyms, find what you think sounds best.
10. Timing
•DO NOT CARE IF YOU REPLY LATE IN ALL HONESTY ITS GREAT THAT YOU REPLIED AT ALL
•If you do, however, feel bad about being late, apologize quickly and get on with it. If you know you’ll reply late due to a certain circumstance, tell them in advance! That way they can understand.

Well, that’s all I can really think of right now, so yeah! Here’s a small list of things to improve your roleplay writing.