i couldn't think of guys and then i was like yo

Or Nah (One - Shot)

Or Nah: Reader and Bucky are doing their routine workout before an extremely important mission, which doesn't go as planned when Bucky shows her his own playlist he made.

A/N: I've always wondered what would happen if Sam introduced Bucky to some really dirty songs! I was dying while writing this haha! If you want to hear the song while you read it’s right here! :D I hope you guys like it! ENJOY! - Delilah

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Very dirty song lyrics, pls beware lol. Bucky being a flirty little shit. Slight secondhand embarrassment. 

You let out a small sigh as you placed the weight in your hand down. You had been in the gym for a solid two hours, working out for the mission that was coming up later that week. It was a pretty big one, and you wanted to make sure you were ready for anything and everything. Bucky, who would be your partner for the mission had agreed to join you for the workout, and to your surprise, he even offered to chose the playlist. 

Ever since he and Sam had been hanging out more often, they’ve been able to catch him up on various modern things, mostly music. You knew that Bucky had been spending time listening to the new wave of music on his little ipod you had given him for his birthday, but you had no idea what songs Sam had put on there for him. 

You and he had grown pretty close ever since Bucharest, and dare you admit, you liked him. A bit much for just friends, but you’d never tell him. There were sometimes when you swore he was reciprocating your feelings, but you always brushed it off as simple flirtatious teasing. Steve always said that’s how he used to be back in the day. 

You just figured it was some nineties rap or something, which wasn’t unlikely. 

The last song had ended, leaving the two of you in that awkward five second silence before the next song began. 

Do you like the way I flick my tongue or nah?
You can ride my face until you dripping cum
Can you lick the tip then throat the dick or nah?
Can you let me stretch that pussy out or nah?

Your eyes nearly fell out of your head at how wide you were staring at him. He paid no attention to you, as he was in his own little world. He lowly sung along to the song as he lifted the weights in his hands. The way he spoke the lyrics, you knew damn well that he had heard the song quite a bit. 

You swallowed loudly as you watched Bucky work out. The black tank top he wore clung to his body, which was glistening with a thin layer of sweat. His arms flexed in such a delicious way each time he brought the weight up, almost as if he was showing off everything he had. 

His hair was pulled back in a messy bun, with a few rebellious strands falling in front of his face. Your eyes analyzed the way his jaw clenched each time he flexed, and the way his lips pursed. His brow was furrowed with concentration as he worked out, his eyes staring forward at the grand mirror in front of him as he watched himself. 

And Jesus, that metal arm. It shifted and clicked with each movement, and you honestly found yourself wondering how on earth you could be attracted to a prosthetic limb. Regardless, you’ve wanted it and him. 

After making sure you weren’t drooling over him, you peered back up at his face, expecting him to still be in his own little world. But to your horror, he was staring right at you. His mouth was curved upwards into a little, fascinated smile as he watched you. Regardless, he continued singing along to the song. 

You gonna run it for these hundreds, girl, or nah?
Show me is you really ‘bout your money, girl, or nah?
Don’t play with a boss, girl, take it off
Take it for a real one
You gonna get it all

You watched as he sung to you, his eyes traveling down your body. You blushed even deeper as you took in the raunchy lyrics. You had no idea why Sam would introduce him to this. Steve would probably have several heart attacks at once if he showed up. 

Bucky set down the weights in his hand with a loud clank, pulling you out of your thoughts. He made sure to give you a show as he reached behind himself and slipped the tank top from his body, tossing it to the side. He made his way over to the chin up bar, which was located directly across from you. By now, you were trying to relieve some of the arousal that was pooling between your legs by pressing them together. 

Bucky placed his hands on the bar, and slowly began lifting himself upwards, peering over at you, still singing those damn lyrics. 

Is you really 'bout your money or nah?
Can you really take dick or nah?
Can I bring another bitch or nah?
Is you with this shit or nah?

Your eyes immediately went to his body, watching as every single muscle flexed as he lifted himself up. His gray sweatpants hung low on his waist, giving you a perfect view of the V of his waist. You so desperately wanted to see just a few more inches, but you knew better. He was teasing you, and you were falling right into the trap. 

Not being able to take it anymore, you stood from your seat and began walking towards the bench press. You lie back onto the bench, pressing your hands onto the bar tightly. But before you could even get started, you felt a pair of hands wrap around your legs and pull you away. 

You squeaked, trying to balance yourself. Before you could sit upwards, you were pressed back down by a metal hand. Bucky hovered over you, smirking devilishly as he placed both of his hands on either sides of your head, trapping you underneath him. You felt so small, and couldn't fight the blush that was now spread throughout your chest and face. 

Girl, is you sucking me or fucking me or nah?
Can I bring another bitch? Let’s have a threesome
Keep saying you’s a freak, you gon’ prove it or nah?

“Hey, Buck,” Sam called as he entered the room. His eyes staring down at the ipod in his hands, completely unaware of what was going on in front of him. 

“I think I accidentally took yo- WHOA!

You immediately covered your face with your hands. This was not what you hoped the outcome would be at all! You were hoping for some steamy make out sessions or maybe even Bucky’s head between your legs, but this was absolutely not what you wanted. Sam would never let you guys live this down. 

Bucky cleared his throat awkwardly as he stared at his friend, his eyes flickering between the two of you with a sheepish smile. 

“Man,” He whistled as he listened to the song blaring from the speakers. “I always knew you were a closet freak, Y/N.’” With a cackle, Sam turned on his heel and exited the gym. 

Not before calling over his shoulder that he had a very interesting story for dinner tonight. 


-FIN!

Tag list of super awesome people!

@sebbylover24 @softwintersoldier @jezzula @amrita31199 @ballerinafairyprincess @harrisbn @gingerbatchwife @livforthegames @abigailredgrave @queen–valeskaxx @crazinessgraveyardsandcartoons @r3stl3ss-minds @diana-daydreamer @barnescrazy @jamesbarnesblog @sebbyismyking @4theluvofall @sad-af1121 @the-lazy-leprechaun @chou-maitresse @claryfray1698 @twinklingstarlight @netflixa @winterboobaer @ihavetwobuckystomyname @ifoundlove-x0vanessa0x @i-write-tragedies-and-sins @melconnor2007 @dracu-ma-bucky @answer-the-sirens @jenna-luke @shieldagentofthemonth @witheringblooddemon @bellaballanda @confuzzled-panda @astralbarnes @38leticia @marveloussssworld @imsecretlyromanburki @callmeoncette @christynjay @lostinspace33@nottheopera @shadowpriestess6 @buckyappreciationsociety @hellstempermentalangel @omgpandagirl14 @buckybarnesfiend @societalfailure @vacam79 @meganlane84 @persephone-is-here-omg @feelthemusicfuckwhatheyresaying @mrssgtjamesbuckybarnes @say-my-name-assbut @mariathedorkydragon @icedragoncred1763 @cassandras-musings @empathiccally @watergirl1996 @supersoldier-buckybarnes @abovethesmokestacks @the-winter-avengerrrrr @behindthesehazeleyes27 @loricameback @vindictivegrace @fandomlover2001 @avengersandlovers @under-dah-sea @ktrivia

21. Staying cool during a heatwave (from this list)

It was well past thirty degrees out before Ladybug and Chat Noir finally stopped for a break in their weekly patrol.

“So, can we get an akuma that, like, turns off the sun or something next?” Chat groaned where he was sprawled out on the shady, lukewarm concrete under the rooftop overhang they’d discovered together. “Just for a day. One day.”

“But then we’d have to fight in the dark,” Ladybug mumbled back, trying not to whine as she leaned (melted) against the wall by his feet. “I hate fighting in the dark.”

Her eyes felt dry when she blinked and her tongue felt cool when she licked her lips and it was really much too hot out to be doing anything that didn’t involve copious amounts of cold water, but she and Chat had a duty to the city, so patrol they would, regardless of the danger of heatstroke.

Chat sighed gustily and flopped a hand in her general direction. “Imagine I just said something really great about holding your hand. It’s too hot to think up lines.”

Ladybug laughed through her groan despite herself. “It’s too hot for holding hands, too.”

Keep reading

anonymous asked:

Yo, Jeremy go for the thing! It's called a SQUIP, and it's amazing. I was in a similar boat as you (Couldn't ask out the girl I like, also I was such a fuckin loser) but I got one, and now I'm cool and shit, and I think I actually have a chance with her, or at least my SQUIP says I do. So go for it, it's worth the 400$

Rich: But when you become all cool and popular, you’ll owe us! And you BETTER NOT be too cool for video games!

Jeremy: Are you kidding? You guys are my favorite people! Life’s a three player game, and I’m never leaving you behind!

Mystery Review Theater 3k

Okay. So. Let me preface this by saying that I firmly believe that y’all have the right to like or not like my writing and to express your likes and dislikes in your reviews, and I respect that. I know sometimes you’re unhappy, and I may not always agree with you (sometimes I do lol), but generally I just read, think “noted…” and move on. 

But every now and then, I get a review that I just… can’t let lie there. And I got such a review today, that is just…. I… I just… I’m sorry, I gotta share with the class and comment point by point on this thing, because…. wow. 

So. Here’s a review I just got on Breaking In – and by the way, I want to thank this person for this review, I really do, because this has been the highlight of my fucking day – and I got a brand new phone today, so that’s saying something. lol


“I was a big fan of this fanfiction in the beginning. I enjoyed every chapter and I thoroughly looked forward to a new chapter, however, recently I haven’t been enjoying it. I stopped reading at about chapter 31 because of the storyline being dragged out too long, I honestly don’t get why Regina and Robin never got back together, or at least stayed together. 

You’re not alone, tbh, I get this a lot. 


What Robin did was illegal and Regina had every right to be angry at him but not continuing on with her relationship with him over it was pointless, since when did Regina care about her mother’s opinion?! 

Uhh….. what?


Never, expect of course in her younger days, but Regina is an independent, strong woman, and the Regina in OUAT would not care about her mother’s opinion.



Okay. Hold on. Stop. This is where I had to stop and pop my eyeballs back into my head from where they had just fallen, dangling, from how wide my eyes popped open at that crazy-ass statement.

Can we just… I’m in the middle of an OUAT rewatch, and I am in the middle of season two, and LET ME TELL YOU, Regina Mills really, really cares about her MOther’s opinion. It derailed her entire redemption for half a season – with ONE CONVERSATION WITH MOMMY. 

Like. What.. What..?? What show are you watching where Regina doesn’t care about her mother’s opinion??

I’m so baffled and also so amused…

 

The next thing I would like to say is about the storyline again, but this time about Regina’s ‘eating disorder’, 

Don’t put that shit in quotes, that’s rude.


I don’t see why it’s such a big deal in this fanfic because it shouldn’t be. Regina chooses not to eat when her mother is around or when her mother says something insulting to her, there is no need for Regina to deny herself food over a petty thing like that, going back to the independent and strong woman part I mentioned about Regina that she clearly is, she wouldn’t do that to herself, maybe in her younger days, but not now.


Okay, hold on a second. Cora, is that you?? Like, I’m pretty sure that’s Cora Mills speaking from inside the page with that one – “there’s no need for Regina to deny herself food over a petty thing like that” are you jooooooking. Like, how insulting is it to imply that someone with an eating disorder is just being dramatic and childish, which is basically what you’re doing.

Regina has an eating disorder. It is a very real thing, that a lot of very real readers relate to, and if you wanna be dismissive and disrespectful about that because you don’t have the capacity to understand it, you can go do it somewhere else.


The next thing is about the weed in a previous chapter. When I decided to read the chapter because a friend told me that their 'relationship’ was going somewhere I was absolutely disgusted at what I read. I thought the whole fanfiction was OOC from day one, but the chapter with Regina and Robin smoking weed was seriously OOC, I cannot imagine them ever doing that. You do know it’s Regina Mills and not Trina Decker, right?!

 

Oh, believe me, I know it’s not my boo Trina Decker. *insert heart eyes*

Originally posted by fyeahlparrilla

And you’re right, BIn Regina smoking pot is out of character – something that she and Robin both acknowledge, and something she talks about with her therapist shortly thereafter, and which her therapist acknowledges is out of character, erratic behavior for her. It’s called a plot point, yo. It was supposed to be out of character. 

But maybe you just.. stopped reading after 37?

Also, just out of curiosity, is this the same anon who got all butthurt after Robin smoked pot in an earlier chapter? 


And the thing that made the chapter even more disgusting and disturbing was that fact that Henry, a 10/11 year old boy was left in his house allow while his mother went and got high. 

Yeah, Regina thought this was a bad idea, too. She brought it up, she felt guilty about it. Her, uh, semi-stoner not-boyfriend convinced her it was okay.


I don’t care that his mother was 'only next door’, 'a few minutes away’ something could have happened to injury or endanger Henry. He could have also been taken by robbers or kidnappers. 


Are you sure you’re not Cora Mills??? Where do you think Regina lives?? People leave kids alone at home to got to the neighbors for a chat all the time – especially when they have, y’know, security systems and shit that they could probably hear from next door if they went off. SHE DOESN’T NEED TO MOVE TO A GATED COMMUNITY, MOTHER, THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH FEDERAL HILL.

Also, let’s be real, if there were robbers or kidnappers, it wouldn’t matter much whether Regina was home or away, someone was probably gonna be getting hurt. She doesn’t have magic, she doesn’t own a gun, she’s not gonna overpower a band of kidnapping robbers.

Originally posted by gronazotheque

Unless maybe it’s that one…


You should never leave your child alone, no matter how far away you are from them.

Uh… I know a lot of (good) parents who would disagree with that. It’s okay to leave your ten year old alone for a little while, especially when you’re just next door, have your phone with you, and they’re asleep. Hell, did you miss the previous chapters where she left him alone for several hours in the middle of the day? Or, did you miss that whole episode in season one where she left Henry alone for an entire Saturday to go “city council meeting” the Sheriff?

How much trouble do you think this sleeping kid in a locked house is gonna get up to?


And then there was also Roland who was only in the next room while Regina and Robin got high, which was completely vile. They would never, ever do that with a child in the house. 

Looks like they would, tho…


And the fact that they decided to cook something but then decided to make out which resulted in them nearly burning the house down! 

Okay a) Do you want them together or not? Because you don’t get to be mad that they’re not getting together fast enough AND get mad that they “decided to make out”. 

b) They burned some toast, dude. The house was in no danger. Find your chill. It’s not like they came up for air to this:

Originally posted by moa8


In their state of being high they could have forgotten about Roland. 

Okay, I’m not sure if you’ve ever smoked pot before, but trust me – HALF A JOINT is not strong enough to make you forget you have a child in the case of an emergency. Might make you forget that Spice World is a terrible movie, but not that your kid is asleep upstairs. 


It made me feel sick. And the whole oral sex activity that was going on in the living room where Roland could have easily woken up and seen what was going on was inappropriate. There are bedrooms with locks for a reason!

You mean the bedroom with the child sleeping in it? That one? That’s where you’d prefer I had them hook up? Next to the toddler bed? 



Now, you may not read this review of mine or you may just ignore it because of the 500 followers that somehow like this fanfic, 

Oh, how could I ignore this one, this was comedy gold.


but I just wanted to say that some of the things that you write are too OOC and not logical or reasonable. 

Same to you, my friend.


I get the whole thing about fanfic. It’s fiction that fans write and it can be whatever they want it to be, but when you write fanfiction that involves two characters that so many people love — including myself — and they are totally OOC and seem like two different people all together, then I personally think that it’s not a fanfiction to enjoy. 

And you have the right to that personal opinion, although apparently 500+ (it is really 500 followers? I haven’t checked – that’s really cool. I’m flattered – thanks guys!) people think I’m doin’ just fine, so… I’mma keep on keepin’ on.


With that being said I’m out. Peace!”

Originally posted by gameraboy

Buh-bye.

izadoraus  asked:

For the requests that I asked before? I wanted to say 28 instead of 27, haha, silly me. Anyway, if you prefer the other requests that I asked for (26 or 8) I would prefer Marichat or Ladynoir for any of those. Thank you for answering me!

Sorry for taking so long to reply to this! It wound up a little longer than I expected. I decided to do 26 (Tending an Injury) with Marichat. Hope you enjoy, and thanks for the suggestion! :)


“Ow…” Marinette winced, glancing down at her ankle. “Tikki, I think it’s sprained.”

Tikki flew down to examine it. “It looks swollen.”

Marinette grimaced and leaned back against the wall. “How am I supposed to patrol on this?”

“Maybe you should call-” Tikki paused and flew into Marinette’s purse seconds before Chat Noir landed beside Marinette.

Marinette jumped and looked up at him. “Chat Noir? What are you doing out here?” Of course, she knew exactly what he was doing out there. He was on his way to their patrol, just like Marinette. Of course, she’d managed to twist her ankle on the way, rushing to get somewhere quiet to transform after a study session with Alya ran too long.

“I could ask you the same thing.” He raised a brow.

“I…” Marinette sighed, going for the easiest lie possible. “I was on my way home. I was studying with a friend, and it went a little late. I think I hurt myself, though.”

He frowned. “What happened?”

She gestured towards her left foot. “I tripped over my own two feet and twisted my ankle.”

He knelt beside her, examining it for a moment. “It looks pretty swollen. You’re sure it’s not broken?”

“Yeah.” She grimaced. “Trust me. I know the difference.”

He stood. “Well, either way, you shouldn’t be walking anywhere. How about I help you home?”

She wanted to argue, but in all honesty, this was probably the safest option she had, so instead, she nodded. “Thank you. That’s really nice of you.”

Keep reading

A short summary of the important figures of the Revolutionary War
  • George Washington: Literally everyone's dad.
  • Thomas Payne: Angry feminist with a pen.
  • Aaron Burr: Was a good solider, even after he couldn't physically be a solider anymore. History probably would have appreciated him more if he didn't, you know, kill Alexander Hamilton.
  • Alexander Hamilton: Short, angry, and sad orphan nerd. Probably called Washington "dad" on accident.
  • Marquis de LaFayette: That French bastard is so precious, he could stab me and I would apologize to him. Called Washington "dad" on purpose.
  • John Laurens: Turtle loving cinnamon roll. Deserved more than he got. (Spoiler alert: he is killed by British soldiers after the war is over.)
  • Ethan Allen: The original mountain man of freedom.
  • Benedict Arnold: Yo fuck that guy. Would give you a cookie but then take it right out of your hand because he just realized he is hungry and he is more important than you.
  • Paul Revere: He rode a horse and yelled, seriously why do we talk about him so much?
  • Sybil Ludington: If your going to appreciate anyone for riding a horse and yelling, appreciate her. She did twice as much as Revere in the middle of a storm.
  • Nathan Hale: Should also be talked about more than Paul Revere. Seriously, what a badass.
  • Nathanael Greene: Spells his name like someone you shouldn't trust but you should definitely trust him. His a good man.
  • Rochambeau: Very angry, very French. But if LaFayette trusted him, then I trust him.
  • John Hancock: Babysitter of Congress.
  • John Adams: he's a cool guy and I love him but for some reason all my historical favorites hate him idk his wife was fucking awesome though.
  • Thomas Jefferson: Wrote the Declaration of Independence and then went on to completely ignore it.
  • Hercules Mulligan: You think he's pretty cool until you remember that he owned slaves.
  • Charles Lee: A lot like a toddler. Threw temper tantrums. Probably thought Benedict Arnold had the right idea.
  • Benjamin Franklin: Washington probably called him "dad" on accident.
  • That's all I can think of right now! If you can send me some other names, I'll be sure to add them to the list!
MUSICAL SENTENCE STARTERS.
  • ❝ Uh, do whatever you want, I'm super dead! ❞
  • ❝ You have a symmetrical face. If I took a meat cleaver down the center of your skull, I'd have matching halves. That's very important. ❞
  • ❝ Ring ring, hello? Oh, hold on, it's for you - it's second place. ❞
  • ❝ You know that I ain't bragging. ❞
  • ❝ I'm reading this from Wikipedia, so it has to be true. ❞
  • ❝ Let's hatch a plot blacker than the kettle callin' the pot. ❞
  • ❝ I bet I've got til lunch at least before everyone sees I'm a spaz! ❞
  • ❝ I'm not very hungry - just gimme a double Polar Burger with everything and a cherry soda with chocolate ice cream. ❞
  • ❝ Missed your midterms and flunked shampoo! ❞
  • ❝ Hey turn around, bend over, I'll show you where my shoe fits. ❞
  • ❝ Is that unfair? -- Oh wait, I don't care. ❞
  • ❝ The truth is that you're such a dork, you kinda make it cool. ❞
  • ❝ We got more balls than the team we cheer for! ❞
  • ❝ Miss Goody Two Shoes makes me wanna barf. ❞
  • ❝ Even mocking cheerleaders cannot hide the emptiness in my soul. ❞
  • ❝ They're dogs! No! Lower than that, they're fleas on dogs! ❞
  • ❝ I'm a trust fund baby, you can trust me. ❞
  • ❝ The dinosaurs choked on the dust, they died because God said they must. ❞
  • ❝ Happy kitties, sleepy puppies, tiny duckies, sparkly ponies... ❞
  • ❝ My teen angst bullshit has a body count. ❞
  • ❝ Give my love to the leprechauns. ❞
  • ❝ I thought you were a spoiled, rich, uptight little white bitch now I think you're just white. ❞
  • ❝ I am tired of living alone with my cat! ❞
  • ❝ You drink a lot of Red Bull, don't you? ❞
  • ❝ If I get blood on the carpet my mother will kill me. ❞
  • ❝ Some say that I'm a pompous creep - somehow I don't lose that much sleep. ❞
  • ❝ Such a blunder. Sometimes it makes me wonder why I even bring the thunder. ❞
  • ❝ Shakin' at the high school hop. ❞
  • ❝ I've got lots of experience with not fitting in. Do you need some pointers? ❞
  • ❝ Ugh. You've got a left hand, use it. ❞
  • ❝ Showing up here took some guts, time to rip 'em out. ❞
  • ❝ Keep that pelvis far from me! ❞
  • ❝ Thanks, but I don't need voices in my head today. ❞
  • ❝ You don't wanna hear all the horny details. ❞
  • ❝ I gotta go get my asthma spray... ❞
  • ❝ Your perfume smells like your daddy's got money. ❞
  • ❝ Does your mommy know you eat all this crap? ❞
  • ❝ Jesus, you're making me sound like Air Supply. ❞
  • ❝ Language, honey child, please. ❞
  • ❝ Like a beautiful blonde pineapple. ❞
  • ❝ I don't rat my hair! ❞
  • ❝ My dog speaks more eloquently than thee. ❞
  • ❝ Damn, you're in worse shape than the national debt is in. ❞
  • ❝ You're my last meal on death row. ❞
  • ❝ I've got a big butt, well so what? It's good as any other! ❞
  • ❝ I led a protest march against insensitive cartoons! ❞
  • ❝ Some people are SO touchy. ❞
  • ❝ Mama gave birth to the hand-jive. ❞
  • ❝ It's hot in here and kinda smells like someone wet the bed... ❞
  • ❝ Oh... I wanted to answer the puppy question? ❞
  • ❝ You're absolutely right - should have shot him in the mouth, that would've shut him up. ❞
  • ❝ I haven't slept since 1992. ❞
  • ❝ Malum in se is an action evil in itself. Assault, murder, white shoes after labor day. ❞
  • ❝ You need a cite a more specific grievance. Here's an itemized list of all these years of diagreements. ❞
  • ❝ Donate my car to crippled kids, or to those ghetto moms on crack. ❞
  • ❝ I'm, like, gonna cry - I got tears comin' outta my nose! ❞
  • ❝ Keep your filthy paws off of my silky drawers. ❞
  • ❝ Color me stoked. ❞
  • ❝ Yo, who the f is this? ❞
  • ❝ You've got the best friggin shoes! ❞
  • ❝ Keep it positive as you slap her to the floor! ❞
  • ❝ Come on! Let's go krunkin' in the parking lot! ❞
  • ❝ I've come of age to be a raging castrating bitch! ❞
  • ❝ I'll be Socrates throwing verbal rocks at these mediocrities. ❞
  • ❝ Really stick it to the phallocentric war machine! ❞
  • ❝ Must we all descend into madness? ❞
  • ❝ It's a work of genius. I couldn't undo it if I tried.... and I tried. ❞
  • ❝ Dear God... it's scented. ❞
  • ❝ Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. ❞
  • ❝ So go on, here's my head, just hit it with a rock. ❞
  • ❝ I want a devil in skin tight leather. ❞
  • ❝ You've come so far why now are you pulling on my dick? ❞
  • ❝ You know, for a greasy little nobody, you do have good bone structure. ❞
  • ❝ You ain't never caught a rabbit. ❞
  • ❝ Honestly, it's kind of draining... ❞
  • ❝ I just did what you wished you could but you don't have the balls. ❞
  • ❝ I'm dazzling! Magnificent! I am the one percent! ❞
  • ❝ Now what I'm going to say may seem indelicate... ❞
  • ❝ I'm gonna French kiss with tongue like I dreamed I'd do - and not just with my pillow! ❞
  • ❝ It's like hearing a ticking sound coming from unmarked packages! ❞
  • ❝ Someone's had their morning coffee... ❞
  • ❝ We're what killed the dinosaurs! ❞
  • ❝ I don't know what you heard, but whatever it is, they started it. ❞
  • ❝ Fine, okay, I'm gay! ❞
  • ❝ You can set my bones and I know CPR. ❞
  • ❝ Immigrants - we get the job done. ❞
  • ❝ Man. What rich, romantic planet are you from? ❞
  • ❝ Whaaaaaaat. ❞
  • ❝ What can I say? I'm a sucker for a happy ending. ❞
  • ❝ Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. ❞
  • ❝ Awesome... wow. ❞
  • ❝ I'm bigger than John Lennon! ❞
  • ❝ I will kill your friends and family to remind you of my love. ❞
  • ❝ If you're going for mediocre, you've done great! ❞
  • ❝ Alright, we can't break out of here, but we sure can break a sweat! ❞
  • ❝ Gotta be going to that malt shop in the sky. ❞
  • ❝ It's got groove! It's got meaning! ❞
  • ❝ When I fight I make the other side panicky! ❞
  • ❝ That is a metro hetero jerk! ❞
  • ❝ Love is like forever this is no time to economize! ❞
  • ❝ Their thinkin' is stinkin' and a little outdated. ❞
  • ❝ I'm probably too cool for you, so friend request denied. ❞
  • ❝ You're on Jiffy Pop detail. ❞
  • ❝ I don't have to always be right - when I'm with you, I just am. ❞
  • ❝ I'm raisin' hell and I'm a felon in a four foot frame. ❞
  • ❝ Guys who wear that get beat up on my street. ❞
  • ❝ It's like making love to you all night, NO WAIT! It feels so much better! ❞
  • ❝ No sleep for you, better chug that Mountain Dew. ❞
  • ❝ All I got was a running nose and Asiatic flu. ❞
  • ❝ You ain't no friend of mine. ❞
  • ❝ We have fought on like, seventy-five different fronts. ❞
  • ❝ I'm not freaking out, I'm really okay, I'm totally chill. ❞
  • ❝ If your Irish boy tires of you, you're allowed to shoot him in the knees. ❞
  • ❝ You ever see somebody ruin their own life? ❞
  • ❝ The more you jump around and scream, the sexier you seem. ❞
  • ❝ Peachy keen, jellybean. ❞
  • ❝ Both your hair and shoes are flat. ❞
  • ❝ Lookin' hot, Cream of Mushroom! ❞

anonymous asked:

That's the Infantino Grow-with-Me Activity Gym and Ball Pit in the back. My niece had it. Probably folded up in the corner b/c Freddie's too big for it now. Not an obvious plant. Comes across pretty natural actually. Only the eagle-eyed who know kids w/ these types of playmats would catch it. Don't think this was like the highchair incident. I don't think he actually thought we'd see it.

I think you guys need to chill. It’s the smallest piece of a toy that that huge kid can’t use anymore, literally who cares lol

Fuller House: Never Know

John Mulaney is right, 13 yos are scary af. And I’m obsessed with Jackson and Ramona from Fuller House. I combined these two facts and ended up with a weird seven minutes in heaven fic. Jackson/Ramona. Rated T. Roaming 3rd.


Seven minutes in heaven is no joking matter. Not in 8th grade. It is taken with all the seriousness of gossip, pranks, and parties without parental supervision.
There was a time when it was just a natural extension of spin the bottle, but then the victims players knew who was going in. And that’s a bore, a total yawn.

Now, it’s a true game of skill by those that select the next couple. They have to be shoved in without each others knowledge for one thing, which takes way more time to plan, and when the time is up they have to be pulled out before their vision can adjust to the light.

Jackson was fairly positive this version of the game was invented by demented perverts. But it was fun to sneak around parties getting unsuspecting couples to participate. He quickly learned who shipped who in his middle school. It was both disturbing and fascinating. Like Tumblr, but real.

And then it was his turn… Less entertaining.

The door slammed shut behind whoever the girl was they just pushed inside. She collided with him and they fell back against the wall, surrounded by coats and plastic garment bags. 

There was a short breath where they both just stood there, pressed close together, before they kissed. Jackson placed a hand on the girl’s hips and her hands came up to rest on his shoulders. OK, not a bad experience so far.

Jackson liked the flowery scent of her hair and the soft movement of her lips against his. Not a bad experience at all. He placed his other hand in her hair to help deepen the kiss. He ran his tongue along her top lip and she responded by biting his bottom lip. His hand slipped down to her shoulder.

When he turned to press her against the wall he started to put the pieces together. Ruffly skirt. Vest, with rhinestones. He moved his hand over her chest and the girl pressed closer. Jackson was fairly sure he wasn’t breathing anymore by this point.

The rhinestones made an R shape. And he recognized the shape of the pendant on her necklace that banged against his hand when she arched into his touch.

Ramona.

Shit. He was so in trouble.

He moved his hand back across her chest and she made a noise that gave Jackson goosebumps. So he did it again.

Ramona’s hands moved from curling in his shirt to wrapping around his neck. Jackson definitely approved of the increasing closeness.

Except for the Ramona part. That was bad.

Not that he hadn’t thought about the girl living across the hall from him like that before. But he really shouldn’t. It would be awkward.

But she didn’t know it was him. It was totally safe for him to enjoy this.


Ramona knew it was Jackson about two seconds after being pushed into the closet. She recognized the smell of that stupid combo scent he wore of Dark Temptation and Excite – because what could be cooler than two lame Axe scents mixed together?

When they kissed, surrounded by coats, she was surprised that he was actually pretty good at it. His hands slid around her waist and she reflexively moved hers to his shoulder. She liked the way his grip tightened with the intensity of their kiss.

She tried to remind herself that this was Jackson. The guy that made sarcastic jokes about her clothes and threatened to throw the goop he oiled his skateboard wheels with at her when she entered his room.

Ramona shivered when his tongue ran across her bottom lip and his fingers glanced over the neck on her skin before curling in her hair. She pushed back to deepen the kiss, to pull at his bottom lip and run her across the surface. His hand moved down to her shoulder.

Jackson pressing her into a wall was not where she expected this night to go. It wasn’t even where she had expected this kiss to go. It was Jackson! When his hand slipped across her chest Ramona shivered again, and arched closer.

Lola had told her about a guy that had raked his hand over her chest during Seven Minutes, she said it had been totally ick. But Ramona found she liked the way Jackson did it. It was like a feather, barely there. He did it again. And again.

They were kissing deeper, messier. Closer. It was awesome.

The hand on her hip finally moved. Jackson squeezed her butt and Ramona squeaked. She heard Jackson laugh. It was rougher than usual.

Good, she wasn’t the only one enjoying this then.

She kissed him again, pulling on his hair. Revenge. He groaned and if her lips were not otherwise occupied she would have smirked.

His watch started beeping then. They separated. Ramona took a step back and a deep breath as he shut off the alarm. Time was up soon. She hadn’t even thought about that. Not that she was complimenting Jackson’s forethought or anything else. Never.

When the door opened she caught a quick look at Jackson as her eyes adjusted before her friends could move her away. It was him. Goofy face, flannel shirt. His eyes were all weird, but that was probably the light.

It didn’t matter that she liked it, Jackson would never know.

FF, AO3

Mean Girls Starters
  • ❝If you're from Africa, why are you white?❞
  • ❝Oh my God, [name], you can't just ask people why they're white.❞
  • ❝Boo, you whore!❞
  • ❝Nice wig, [name]. What's it made of?❞
  • ❝Your Mom's chest hair!❞
  • ❝On Wednesdays we wear pink!❞
  • ❝Calling somebody else fat won't make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn't make you any smarter. And ruining [name]'s life definitely didn't make me any happier. All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.❞
  • ❝Hey, buddy, you're not pretending anymore. You're plastic. Cold, shiny, hard plastic.❞
  • ❝You know what! It's not my fault you're like, in love with me, or something!❞
  • ❝See? That's the thing with you plastics. You think everybody is in love with you when actually, everybody HATES you! Like, [name], for example, he broke up with Regina and guess what? He still doesn't want you! So why are you still messing with [name], [name]? I'll tell you why, because you are a mean girl! You're a bitch! Here. You can have this. It won a prize.❞
  • ❝And I want my pink shirt back! I want my pink shirt back!❞
  • ❝That is so fetch!❞
  • ❝Gretchen, stop trying to make fetch happen! It's not going to happen!❞
  • ❝God! I am so sorry [name]. Really, I don't know why I did this. I guess it's probably because I've got a big lesbian crush on you! Suck on that! AY-YI-YI-YI-YI-YI!❞
  • ❝[Name], I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you got diarrhea at Barnes & Nobles. And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it. And I'm sorry for repeating it now.❞
  • ❝And none for [name], bye!❞
  • ❝Get in loser, we're going shopping.❞
  • ❝Don't have sex, because you will get pregnant and die! Don't have sex in the missionary position, don't have sex standing up, just don't do it, OK, promise? OK, now everybody take some rubbers.❞
  • ❝I wish we could all get along like we used to in middle school... I wish I could bake a cake filled with rainbows and smiles and everyone would eat and be happy...❞
  • ❝She doesn't even go here!❞
  • ❝Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Regina George?❞
  • ❝I hear her hair's insured for $10,000.❞
  • ❝I hear she does car commercials... in Japan.❞
  • ❝Her favorite movie is Varsity Blues.❞
  • ❝One time she met John Stamos on a plane... And he told her she was pretty.❞
  • ❝One time she punched me in the face... it was awesome.❞
  • ❝Why are you eating a Kalteen bar?❞
  • ❝Man, I hate those things. Coach Carr makes us eat those when we want to move up a weight class.❞
  • ❝Why should Caesar just get to stomp around like a giant while the rest of us try not to get smushed under his big feet? Brutus is just as cute as Caesar, right? Brutus is just as smart as Caesar, people totally like Brutus just as much as they like Caesar, and when did it become okay for one person to be the boss of everybody because that's not what Rome is about! We should totally just STAB CAESAR!❞
  • ❝[Name] had cracked.❞
  • ❝Hell, no. I did *not* leave the South Side for this!❞
  • ❝Somebody wrote in that book that I'm lying about being a virgin, 'cause I use super-jumbo tampons, but I can't help it if I've got a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina!❞
  • ❝There's a 30% chance that it's already raining!❞
  • ❝I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular.❞
  • ❝I gave him everything! I was half a virgin when I met him.❞
  • ❝Do you wanna do something fun? Wanna go to taco bell?❞
  • ❝I can't go to taco bell, I'm on an all-carb diet. GOD [name] you're so stupid!❞
  • ❝It's like I have ESPN or something. My breasts can always tell when it's going to rain.❞
  • ❝That is the ugliest f-ing skirt I've ever seen.❞
  • ❝She's totally rich because her dad invented Toaster Streudels.❞
  • ❝That's why her hair is so big, it's full of secrets.❞
  • ❝She's the queen bee - the star, those other two are just her little workers.❞
  • ❝And they have this book, this burn book, where they write mean things about all the girls in our grade.❞
  • ❝Oh my God - Danny DeVito! I love your work!❞
  • ❝At your age, you're going to have a lot of urges. You're going to want to take off your clothes, and touch each other. But if you do touch each other, you will get chlamydia... and die.❞
  • ❝Is butter a carb?❞
  • ❝You can't sit with us!❞
  • ❝Fine! You can walk home, bitches.❞
  • ❝And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs. And the homosexuals.❞
  • ❝My grandma takes her wig off when she's drunk.❞
  • ❝I love her. She's like a Martian!❞
  • ❝Are they not suppose to be let out when they're grounded?❞
  • ❝She thinks she's gonna have a party and not invite me? Who does she think she is?❞
  • ❝I like invented her, you know what I mean?❞
  • ❝I just want you to know, if you ever need anything, don't be shy, OK? There are NO rules in the house. I'm not like a regular mom, I'm a cool mom.❞
  • ❝Can I get you guys anything? Some snacks? A condom? Let me know! Oh, God love ya.❞
  • ❝Halloween is the one night a year when girls can dress like a total slut and no other girls can say anything about it.❞
  • ❝Sorry, we only carry sizes 1, 3, and 5. You could try Sears.❞
  • ❝Regina George is not sweet! She's a scum-sucking road whore, she ruined my life!❞
  • ❝I know it may look like I was being like a bitch, but that's only because I was acting like a bitch.❞
  • ❝Your face smells like peppermint!❞
  • ❝Oh, you'll get socialized all right, a little slice like you.❞
  • ❝You're a regulation hottie.❞
  • ❝We do not have a clique problem at this school.❞
  • ❝But you do have to watch out for "frenemies".❞
  • ❝I know she's kind of socially retarded and weird, but she's my friend... so, just promise me you won't make fun of her!❞
  • ❝Half the people in this room are mad at me, and the other half only like me because they think I pushed somebody in front a bus, so that's not good.❞
  • ❝I don't hate you cuz yo' fat... yo' fat cuz I hate you!❞
  • ❝You smell like a baby prostitute.❞
  • ❝Is your muffin buttered?❞
  • ❝Jason, you do not come to a party at my house with Gretchen and then scam on some poor innocent girl right in front of us three days later. She's not interested. Do you want to have sex with him?❞
  • ❝Good. So it's settled. So you can go shave your back now. Bye, Jason.❞
  • ❝Finally, Girl World was at peace.❞
  • ❝Hey, check it out. Junior Plastics.❞
  • ❝Damn, Africa, what happened?❞
  • ❝I saw [name] wearing army pants and flip flops, so I bought army pants and flip flops.❞
  • ❝Oh, hi. Did you wanna buy some drugs?❞
  • ❝Make sure you check out her mom's boob job. They're hard as rocks.❞
  • ❝Whatever, I'm getting cheese fries.❞
  • ❝Okay, I'm going to forgive you because I'm a very Zen person... and I'm on a lot of pain medication right now.❞
  • ❝Can you believe my f-ing mom is here?❞
  • ❝I have this theory, that if you cut off all her hair she'd look like a British man.❞
  • ❝I care. Every year the seniors through this dance for the underclassmen called the Spring Fling. And whosoever is elected King and Queen automatically become head of the Student Activities Committee and since I am an active member of the Student Activities Committee, I would safely say, I care.❞
  • ❝Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that's just like the rules of feminism.❞
  • ❝Did your teacher ever try to sell you marijuana or ecstasy tablets?❞
  • ❝What are marijuana tablets?❞
  • ❝You cannot do that. That is social suicide. Damn! You are so lucky you have us to guide you.❞
  • ❝Oh, I love seeing teachers outside of school. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs.❞
  • ❝Everyone in Africa knows Swedish.❞
  • ❝Made out with a hot dog? Oh my God that was one time!❞
  • ❝I know having a boyfriend might seem like the only thing important to you right now, but you don't have to dumb yourself down in order for a guy to like you.❞
  • ❝Come on! We could publish it and then everybody would see what an ax-wound she really is!❞
  • ❝And you can only wear your hair in a ponytail once a week, so I guess you chose today.❞
  • ❝She's not even that good looking if you really look at her.❞
  • ❝I don't know, now that she's getting fatter she's got pretty big jugs.❞
  • ❝Watch out please! Fresh meat coming through!❞
  • ❝I'd rather see you out there shakin' that thang.❞
  • ❝You can do this. There's nothing to break your focus, because not one of those Marymount boys is cute.❞
  • ❝There are two kinds of evil people in this world. Those who do evil stuff and those who see evil stuff being done and don't try to stop it.❞
  • ❝Well, I mean you wouldn't buy a skirt without asking your friends first if it looks good on you.❞
  • ❝The limit does not exist!❞
  • ❝I just wanted to say that you're all winners. And that I couldn't be happier the school year is ending.❞
  • ❝It's called the South Beach Fat Flush and all you drink is cranberry juice for 72 hours.❞
  • ❝She's fabulous, but she's evil.❞
  • ❝So, are you gonna send any candy canes?❞
  • ❝No. I don't send them, I just get them. So you better send me one, byotch.❞
  • ❝'Cause she's a life ruiner. She ruins people's lives.❞
  • ❝Oh no, I can't say anything else until I have a parent or lawyer present.❞
  • ❝Did you see nipple? It only counts if you saw a nipple!❞
  • ❝Oh, no. It was coming up again, word vomit... no, wait a minute... Actual vomit.❞
  • ❝Grool... I meant to say cool and then I started to say great.❞
  • ❝I'm a cool mom! Right Regina?❞
  • ❝Good news, they didn't get run over... Bad news, they're still flat.❞
  • ❝Hey, hey, hey. How are my best girlfriends?❞
  • ❝Oh god, busted! Just start apologizing and crying. No, play it cool.❞
  • ❝I mean no offense, but how could she send you a candy cane? She doesn't even like you that much. Maybe she feels weird around me because I'm the only person who knows about her nose job. Oh my god, pretend you didn't hear that.❞
the signs as haiku from trials of apollo
  • Aries: Don’t paint over gods / If you’re redecorating / That’s, like, common sense
  • Taurus: Aquaman driving / Couldn’t possibly be worse / Oh, wait, now it is
  • Gemini: Listen to the trees / The trees know what is up, yo / They know all the things
  • Cancer: Bowling balls of death / Rolling toward my enemies / I’ll trade you problems
  • Leo: Want to hit Leo? / That is understandable / Hunk Muffin earned it
  • Virgo: The Beast is calling / Tell him I’m not here. Let’s hide / Where? In garbage. Natch
  • Libra: Used to be goddy / Now uptown feeling shoddy / Bah, haiku don’t rhyme
  • Scorpio: Hoodlums punch my face / I would smite them if I could / Mortality blows
  • Sagittarius: Practice makes perfect / Ha, ha, ha, I don’t think so / Ignore my sobbing
  • Capricorn: I apologize / For pretty much everything / Wow, I’m a good guy
  • Aquarius: Seven-layer dip / Chocolate chip cookies in blue / I love this woman
  • Pisces: Tag with plague spirits / You’re it, and you’re infectious / Have fun with that, LOL
Urahara Kisuke is the biggest dork in the world

Not that you guys didn’t already know, BUT LET ME TELL YOU JUST HOW BIG OF A FUCKING DORK, because I noticed something the other day and I wanted to share (along with a few other tidbits of dorkiness that you may have missed in the manga).

Exhibit of supreme dorkitude #1

For ages now, @princessandshopkeeper and I have wondered what it was that Kisuke used to have written on the back of his haori:

It’s obviously a kanji, but I could never quite make it out.  Sadly, Kubo stopped drawing it early on in the series…

…and I say sadly because the explanation for it IS THE BEST THING EVER.

Keep reading

ladriened  asked:

do “quit staring! they’ll notice us!” or “do it. i dare you.” or “bro… that’s so… not cool…" with alya/mari/nino/adrien for the five words thing!! (but you don't have to do them all, i just couldn't decide haha!!)

How about all three tied into one? :^)


“Quit staring! They’ll notice us!” Alya exclaimed, slapping Marinette’s shoulder for not the first time that evening. Her, Mari, and Nino were all waiting nearby Adrien’s current photoshoot, ready to whisk him away once it was over. They were trying to be inconspicuous, but Marinette’s staring made it hard.

“I’m not staring, I’m just… people-watching,” Marinette said in response, refocusing her gaze on Adrien as if to prove her point.

“People watching? Girl, you’re person watching,” Alya scoffed. Nino broke into a chuckle that was quickly silenced by Alya’s glare. “As in, you’ve only been drilling holes into Adrien’s back and sides with your eyes the entire time.”

That snapped her out of it. Face colored a red deeper than Nino’s hat, she spluttered and turned away from the model. “Have not,” she muttered, falling into silence.

Nino laughed at her reaction, braving another glare from his girlfriend. “Dude, Alya’s right. Staring’s gonna either distract him and get him in trouble, or make sure his bodyguard keeps ‘im away from us. Gotta lay low until it’s over, then we’ll-” he made a snatching motion with his hands- “Simple, easy. It’s gonna go off with out a hitch!”

But as soon as Nino uttered those words, the group heard shouting. When they looked over, they saw Adrien running over to them, waving and smiling happily despite a few people right on his tail.

With eyes wide, Alya said, “Run.” She pushed Marinette and Nino to move just as Adrien passed them by, and soon they were all running.

Unfortunately for them, they weren’t quite fast enough to get the people chasing off their trail. Adrien and Marinette were slightly ahead of Nino and Alya, so when he started speaking, only Marinette heard his words.

“We need to like, push something in their way. So they get held up for a bit while we escape!” He turned his gaze from ahead of him to her. “Sounds like a good idea, right?” Even if she said no, he knew it was. He was an expert at distractions, after all.

“Uh, w-well… Yeah, that could work.” She lapsed into silence when they both started to look around for something. When Marinette looked back at Nino and Alya, an idea formed in her mind. Not the best, but… “I could push Nino into them.”

Adrien stared at her, shocked by her suggestion. But as quick as the shock came, it receded, and a smile quickly formed on his face. “Do it. I dare you.”

Answering with a small grin, Marinette began to slow down until she was next to Nino.

“Yo, what’s u-”

“Sorry, Nino!” Marinette said, cutting him off. She sped up just enough to be in front of him before slamming into him. The force of her attack sent him backwards, enough so he crashed right into the other people. All of them went down, and the now group of three sped up, turning a corner and disappearing from sight.

About fifteen minutes later, after they’d successfully ditched the people from the photoshoot, Alya texted Nino their location.

“Girl, I cannot believe you did that to my guy. Next time, send your own self flying into them, will you?”

“Eh heh, sorry Alya,” Mari replied sheepishly. “If it helps any, I considered doing it to you first but decided against it.”

“Also, when she said Nino, I dared her to do it. You can’t go back on a dare, right?” Adrien added on, unable to keep himself from smiling.

Shaking her head, Alya sighed and said, “You kids and your crazy schemes. Dunno what I’m gonna do w-”

Nino ran in just then, Interrupting what Alya had been about to say. His breathing was heavy, but he still tried to talk. “Bro… that’s so… not cool,” he gasped out. “You’d think I’d have…  gotten hurt from crashing into those dudes, but… Mari, you are way stronger than ya look. I think i’m gonna bruise where you pushed.”

“Sorry, I didn-”

“Nah, it’s cool dude. I mean, we got away, and honestly that was a pretty wicked move. Now… who wants to go to the movies?”

Reasons to love Jaebum

1. Damn sexy forehead

2. He’s sexy af overall

3. His eye smile! That fckn eye smile just kills me

4. Can we talk about his smile? It goes straight to my already bursting heart!! And how bloody sparkly his teeth are! Like dang boy!! I’m blinded by your smile 😉

5. His hair!!! It makes me wanna run through his hair. His hair is better than mine tbh (hair envy). And the way he flips it. Uh hello shampoo cf

6. His hands!!! Idk what it is about them that I find so sexy. Especially when he’s got rings on them. I wanna have a feel for myself if his hands are soft or rough or what. I JUST WANT TO HOLD HIS HAND FULL STOP

7. IM THIGHS! Hello that farkin gorgeous thighs. Like dayummnnnnn 😍

8. His bowlegs! Ok people might think that this is an imperfection and yes it sorta is but I love him and his legs because it makes him look really endearing (thanks for pointing it out to me britt! Lol)

9. I love how he doesn’t cover up his pits when he’s wearing a sleeveless shirt. LIKE HAVE YOU SEEN HIM IN A TANK TOP??! OK BYE 😵

10. His guns!!! Fml his guns!!! and no i’m not talking about machines

11. HIS SHOULDERS AND THE WHOLE OF HIS BACK! Damn those broad shoulders are very very very fine. I could back hug him every single day for the rest of my pitiful life 😂

12. His bum. Hello bumbum! I have a thing for guys with nice bums and his is 👌🏻

13. The way he dances just unnfffff! So cute and so sexy and everything in between. Makes my mind and heart combust every single time i watch him dance. Like the flow and effortlessness and yet the gracefulness

14. HIS VOICE THAT MAKES ME MELT LIKE COTTON CANDY IN CONTACT WITH LIQUID LIKE DAMN BOY THAT VOICE CAN CURE FAMINE AND END WARS KINDA VOICE caps because intense and i just wanna convey how much i love his voice

15. He’s very aloof on the outside yet he’s a warm cinnamon roll on the inside

16. INTP HONEST! I appreciate a man who does not beat around the bush and goes straight to the point. And i appreciate honesty

17. How he thinks deeply about a lot of things

18. His sense of responsibility. He takes the role of being a leader to heart. As jackson said.. BEST LEADER!!! 🙌🏻

19. Putting got7 as his priority (you should make your health your priority too bub. Take good care of yourself and get well soon)

20. His passion about what he does! Be it singing, dancing, composing, acting

21. His very very cute reactions!! Watch v app! Haha

22. His all out laugh. I can see your uvula jb but it is very endearing haha

23. A great friend/brother to his members

24. He listens

25. He takes critiques well and is constantly bettering himself

26. His outfits! Damn boy you look like a model every single time

27. His attitude towards life in general that is to be the best person that you can be without losing who you are in the process (imo anyways of what i observe from him)

28. How he stands by his opinions

29. How he’s so strong for the sake of other people. We’re all like crying because he’s hurt and stuff and he’s the one feeling the pain yet he’s the one telling us to enjoy and don’t worry about him

30. How he would defend people from bullies. Remember yugyeom’s story?

31. How he takes care of those around him especially his dongsaengs

32. His expressions on stage. THOSE DAMN LIP BITES

33. His aegyo. Because how can you not love his cute self?

34. His habit of grabbing people’s necks you can grab mine anytime

35. His quiet side and his rage side. Like lol jb raging is so cute like damn

36. His bboying is 🔥

37. His love for food because i LOVE FOOD!! And i appreciate that in a man! Lolwut! But especially in his job where weight is kind of an issue but he doesn’t mind it because food. Who turns down food? 😂

38. His love affair with food. Like did you see him eating??? Because like yo! If jaebum looks at me the way he looks at food i’m set for life

39. His chipmunk cheeks when he eats! It’s so cute! Makes me wanna hug him and not let go! Can I keep him mum? Pretty please

40. I love how he gives off a very manly feel. Like you would think ahhh this guy will protect me (a very damsel in distress thought but yeah lmao)

41. How he’s so SHY about speaking english is so adorable

42. And when he does speak english! Like man what are you even shy about. YOU IS GOOD!!

43. His very MEME-ish ways! Meme bum ftw!

44. BODY ROLLS! Need i explain? I didn’t think so

45. ABS!

46. How he loves to read. A man after my own heart

47. He can be goofy and serious. A perfect balance

48. His funny sassy self. Like how he interacts with the fans are hilarious

49. His love for sleep! I feel you boo

50. Because jb (and no it’s jaebum and not bieber

I could write a million other things probably but i’m going to be late for an appointment so i’ll just end it here

Originally posted by igotdefsoul

anonymous asked:

Can I request a headcanon gif for Law, Sabo, Shanks, Ace, Kid, Luffy and Mihawk favorite Chris brown song or even just like favorite song mostly pop/hip hop or even country. I don't care what you decide. I just thought the Beyoncé one was awesome! But then I couldn't decide if I want it Chris brown(love so many of his songs) or just favorite song but I think they would be up beat song but I'm also in a country mood so I'm conflicted. I hope this wasn't weird 🤗

Im doing silly or fun HC request because my mood been downs, maybe i can possible lift yours :) P.s the gifs are of them dancing to it. OH for each character, after reading it, want you to pause and just imagine that scene happening because it makes it ten times better. 


Law

  • He listens to the song deuces when he doing work and is relaxed enough to actually listen to music. He likes the beat, and hums along with his baritone voice, which is kinda hot. (Of course he be more sly and less hype about about it, he wouldn’t even know he was humming or slightly swaying along)

Originally posted by wonderlandgirlforever

Sabo

  • Likes the song she aint you, because this the song he actually hits vocals and he loves the ranges and notes he hits. But the best part is when he dances along to it, and hums along because headcanon guys Sabo can sing. (hopefully, I’m pretty sure.)

Originally posted by bacon-dragon

(lmao he does this, and its on beat to the opening of the song, which is some how cute and funny)

Shanks

  • He enjoys the song Take you down and Yo excuse me miss. He likes listening to songs that tell a story, however his favorite song is Kiss Kiss, makes him younger and like a hotshot. His song to pump him out when he goes out the bar.

Originally posted by peterquilllegendaryoutlaw

Ace

  • This cutie would like the song Turn up the music, and this is party song where he dances, and pumps his fist and the air too. He always ask the Dj to play this song during one of the infamous Whiteboards parties. He drags Marco to the dance floor and gets the whole crew riled up 

Originally posted by freddylovesjason

Kid

  • Would love the song I can transform ya, even though he barely raps in it, but definitely feels like a ‘pimp’ or cool when listening to it. Especially when he last the music and attempt to rap along. He also listens to the song when he needs inspiration to create some thing new/weird.

Originally posted by unknown-paradisex

Luffy

  • He likes the song Yeah x3 because Luffy likes upbeat songs and atmospheres, where he can really but out his dance moves onto the floor. Despite the fact that he can’t dance. (The gift is accurate.)

Originally posted by sanity-ytinas

Mihawk

  • He likes the song Yo (Excuse me miss). I don’t really see Mihawk ever listening to Chris brown, but this song at least represents Mihawk way with the ladies/men, and how he make everyones panties drop with one look. 

Originally posted by baltigo

(Lmao the look that makes the panties drop, i crack myself up)

This is 💯% me when my BF be on some shit 🌝
  • Guy: You look so beautiful tonight.
  • Girl: Do I?
  • Guy: Yes, you look perfect.
  • Girl: Do you mean it?
  • Guy: Absolutely. You're my best friend, and my inspiration. You're a shining light in the dark abyss that is life. You're-
  • Other Girl: *crawls out of the bushes* Hey guys.
  • Guy: Who are you?
  • Other Girl: *shrugs* I just woke up in the bushes. Are you guys here to see the super ultra moon?
  • Girl: Excuse me, but we came here to have a private moment. No offense, but you're kind of ruining it.
  • Other Girl: Oh, sorry! Haha, I'm such a goober. I'll leave you two to your business. Bow-chika-wow-wow. *winks and runs to a tree across from them where she stares at them with a smile on her face*
  • Guy: I think we should go, honey.
  • Girl: I agree.
  • *the guy and the girl wander through the park seemingly unable to find their way out*
  • Guy: Something is seriously wrong. The park was never this big.
  • Girl: I'm sure we're just a bit lost, hon.
  • Guy: How the hell can we be lost? It's just the park. We've been walking in the same direction for so long. We can see buildings across the street right there, but we just don't get any closer to them.
  • Other Girl: *jumps out of nearby bushes* HEY GUYS!
  • Girl: AIIIIIEEEEEEE!
  • Guy: You startled my girlfriend, you idiot.
  • Other Girl: Hehe, sorry! I was just excited to see you two again.
  • Girl: Maybe you can help us. We can't seem to find our way out of the park. Perhaps you'll be able to give us some directions.
  • Other Girl: Oh, you can't leave. Not while that big gay moon is up in the sky. You're stuck here for good.
  • Guy: You're just messing with us.
  • Other Girl: Nope. I've been here for... *counts her fingers* three-hundred years maybe.
  • Girl: If you were stuck here for three-hundred years, then why are you wearing modern clothes?
  • Other Girl: The moon doesn't run on human time, you goober. In the real world, I've probably been gone for like a year tops maybe. But here, time passes much slower and you never age. So it has probably been like three-hundred years.
  • Guy: That's is just a bunch of nonsense. Leave us alone, you freak.
  • Other Girl: Hey, I'm just trying to help out, macho dude. *tosses a sharp rock at the guy* You guys are lucky, though. I heard a rumor that if two lovers enters the moon's gaze, they can escape. One lover just has to kill the other.
  • Girl: *gasps* Are you actually suggesting that we try to kill one another?
  • Other Girl: Hey, I'm not suggesting anything. I'm just telling you what I heard. I could care less about what you goobers get up too. I'm outtie! *runs off*
  • Guy: She's totally full of shit.
  • Girl: You think so?
  • Guy: I know so. Freaks like her are the worst. Come on, honey. We'll be fine.
  • *twenty long moon years later*
  • Girl: *crawls into tiny tree bark fort* I'm home with dinner, hon.
  • Guy: *stops playing with his leaf dolls* Dinner, yes! What'd you get?
  • Girl: Crab apples and pine cones.
  • Guy: But, I hate crab apples and pine cones. We eat them every day.
  • Girl: Well, that's all there is to eat.
  • Guy: What about the berries? I liked the berries.
  • Girl: I couldn't find any berries.
  • Guy: You found some berries just a few days ago.
  • Girl: That was like six years ago!
  • Guy: Sorry, I haven't been keeping track of the time. Every single day here is exactly the same. Couldn't you just go the extra mile and find some berries for me?
  • Girl: Listen, I had to bust my ass just to find these apples and pine cones. Beggars can't be choosers. Be grateful that I found anything.
  • Guy: Beggar? I'm not a beggar, I'm your husband!
  • Girl: Whoa! When did you become my husband?
  • Guy: We've been together for so many years!
  • Girl: And in that time, we've never gotten married. We haven't taken any vows.
  • Guy: Listen, after being together for so long, we're basically married.
  • Girl: Maybe I'd consider us a married couple if you ever pulled your own weight. You don't do anything! I find the food, I repair the fort, I do everything important!
  • Guy: You're being unfair. I've done things. I came up with the idea for the fort.
  • Girl: Yeah, twenty years ago, and guess who actually built the thing? Me! All you do is play with your stupid dolls!
  • Guy: *gasps* They are not stupid! You're horrible!
  • Girl: Oh, I can't stand you! *grabs the sharp rock and bashes the guy over his head*
  • Guy: Stop! You're hurting me!
  • Girl: *bashes the guy until he stops moving*
  • Girl: *drags the guy's dead body out into the moonlight* I killed him! I did it, see! Now let me go, you stupid moon!
  • Moon: *remains large, gay, and silent*
  • Girl: Come on! Do something!
  • Other Girl: *jumps out of the bushes* Yo, long time no see- HOLY SHIT! You killed that guy!
  • Girl: Yes. He was unbearable. I did it so I can escape. Why isn't it working?
  • Other Girl: Huh?
  • Girl: You told us way back when that if you kill your lover, you can escape the park.
  • Other Girl: Oh, that? I was fucking with you. The moon never lets anyone go. You're here forever.
  • Girl: You were lying!? B-But why would even lie about something like that...
  • Other Girl: Hey, sorry. Being stuck in this place for years on end makes you kind of apathetic about everything. But hey, life goes on, hehe, forever! Unless someone bashes your head in with a rock, I guess. See ya, you dumb goober! *runs off*
  • Girl: *shakes the guy's corpse* Hey, please wake up. I don't want to be here all alone. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to do it. Please just wake up... please...
What really happened when Shintaro got his memories back
  • Momo: Shin, where did you, go you bailed on us, now Ene is upset cause we couldn't go to the amusement park.
  • Shintaro: Mother fucking Kuroha Jesus Christ FUCK DUDE mother fuckING Outer Science BULLshit Jesus can you fucking believe this shiT
  • Momo: I have no idea what we're talking about right now.
  • Shintaro: (45 minutes later) god damn Replace Konoha and fucking snakes and shit right fucking Mekakushi trio god DAMN gaming contest fuck yo shit i can't even FUCKING BELIEVE THIS SHIT have you seen this shit FUCK I just remembered this shit fuck kuroha man
  • Momo: ... Onii-chan you're scaring me.
  • Shintaro: (1 hour later) MOTHER FUCKING KANO SHUUYA Kano Shuuya you put in the time FUCK put in the time mother fucking deception shit with his PRETENDING TO BE AYANO fucking blackmail shit Kuroha i'm very tired
  • Momo: It's all right, you don't have to go on the mission with us, onii-chan.
  • Shintaro: (5 seconds later) No man I'll just talk about Outer Science all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit i have to say about Outer Science FUCK DUDE i just remembered it a year and a half ago FUCK KUROHA MAN he fucked over Kano Shuuya crazy mekakushi trio gaming festival Shizen No Tekken-Peep did the soundtrack FUCK THIS GUY who was Konoha i don't like dying i can't think of who the FUCK Konoha was all i can think is the guy who replaced the guy who became Konoha WHO THE FUCK IS KONOHA
  • Shintaro: (2 hours later) HARUKA KOKONOSE
  • (source: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P1jpxcaoAiA)
8 years later

Imagine after 8 years:

 
  The 10 men are wearing smiles and their eyes are sparkling. Like they’ve prepared a big surprise for their beloved fans. The music stops and everyone become silent as the lights went of and Suho stands on the center of the stage, smiling and tears are gathered in his eyes. “H-hello Exo-L’s.” But they stayed silent because they are worried that something had happened or Suho has bad news, but no. “It has been 8 years since Exo debuted. And we can’t thank all of you enough.” One by one, the members went beside their leader. Lay, Xiumin, Baekhyun and Sehun are already crying. Tao, Kyungsoo, Kai and Chanyeol are holding back their tears. While Chen is forcing a smile comforting his members with assuring words. “It’s gonna be okay. We are one, remember?” The others nod.“During the journey, it has been hard for us.But it was also wonderful. We had won tons of awards throughout the journey and we couldn’t thank you enough.” His voice cracks.

  Suho closes his eyes and sobs but he quickly recovers and smiles to the fans.“And yet, you guys didn’t leave our sides.Especially that day.” He bowed his head. “Now 8 years had passed, we’re not complete anymore ever since that day. The day they left the group. But we couldn't blame them, they’re humans too, they made their own decisions. We were disappointed and sad at the same time, but there’s nothing we could do about it but to continue.” Suho couldn’t continue anymore and cries. Baekhyun took the courage and takes the mic from Suho and started speaking. “Hey, exo-ls. Bacon here.” He tries to joke and fake a laugh and the crowd laughs at the cute lad. “Wooah, I can’t believe it. 8 years, eh? 8 years since our journey started. And as Suho hyung said, it had been a tough journey for us, especially you guys. I’m quite impressed by your bravery, loyalty and courage. You had to endure all those things just to stay with us, although some already left because they can’t endure it anymore.” He smiles bitterly and looks at the Silver Ocean. “I couldn't blame them. Me too, I almost gave up, but I couldn’t stand leaving my brothers, my family and you. This is probably the last concert Xiumin, and Suho hyung will be on before they enlist the army.” Baekhuyn wipes the tears from his eyes using his hand and Chanyeol went to his side and speaks up. “Anyways, let’s not cry everyone. Because we have a big surprise for our dear maknae.”

The crowd started screaming again and a large cake appeared in the middle of the stage and beside it is a very large gift. Sehun was shocked and headed to the cake slowly. His hyungs prepared this for him for a very long time and it was worth it. “I d-don’t know w-what to say…” He sobs and gets hugged by Lay, who stood beside him. “Well, a simple thank you would do.” Chen jokingly says and everyone laughs. Sehun headed to the candles and wished before blowing. After he blew the candles, it started snowing confetti’s and there are fireworks, since its an open stadium. Tears started flowing from his eyes again as he wish his wish will come true. Even for just a day or two. Kyungsoo, who’s not afraid to goof around anymore, put an arm aroung the latter. “Go on, open your present.”

  Sehun was nervous as he head to his large present. He stood in front of it and saw a button and pressed it. But before he could see what’s inside he was pulled by Kai and everything went black again. The fans started panicking, of what happen. When suddenly…

  “Yo! Yo! Yo!” That voice…
  “Galaxy is back!” and that too…
  The two voices started singing and someone was also beat boxing. “I say E.X you say?”
  “O!” the fans replies.
  “When I say We Are, you say?”
  “One!”

  Everyone was confused by the familiar voices, while the old fans were crying in joy. Colorful lights covered the stadium and one by one, the members went to hug their hyungs, except Sehun. He stood there, still shocked. Everyone was crying by now, realizing that finally they saw EXO complete again. Luhan pulled away from Xiumin and extended his arms to Sehun. “Hunnie? Remember hyung?” Sehun blinked and ran towards his hyung and the two of them hugged. He couldn’t believe it, his wish
came true.

  “I wish for EXO to be complete again, even for just a day or two.” That was Sehun’s wish.

  The 12 boys stayed there for awhile. Hugging and crying to each others. They missed them. They missed their 2 members. And now they’re finally back. Back in EXO Planet. The concert went on and they performed their most well known song in Asia - Growl. They were smiling during the performances as memories flashed in their minds. Thinking that they need each other, they’re not complete if one is missing. Life is like a jigsaw puzzle, once a piece is missing you won’t be able to finish it, unless you find the missing piece.

  “WE ARE ONE~WE ARE EXO.” The 12 boys said and the fans started screaming as their digest hit, Growl, blasted through the speakers and they started dancing.After performing the song, they hug one another once again. A familiar song was played, it was Promise. Which was composed by Lay and Chen.They broke the hug and started singing, the fans soon followed.
 

   It was a memorable night for Exo and EXO-L’s because finally, the 2 stars who was lost in the galaxy were now back. OT12 was back, no more OT10. Xiumin and Suho are going to enlist in the army, only having a few months left. But it’s okay, because they know that they’ll be back soon. 

We are Exo~ We are One~


soooo, basically I wrote this last month. I want to post this imagine for tomorrow, but i couldn’t help myself any longer. I really hope Exo will be whole again, even for just one night.I know this would be really impossible, but there’s nothing wrong about having hope, right? Anyways, #3YearsWithExo had been amazing, I hope they will get bigger more, but also take care of their health. Sarahae Exo~

@byunishere / @baekibyun

The first Time: Stiles Stilinski Imagine for Anon

Can u do a cute stiles smut like a first time

Ok guys, i have never done a smut before and i don’t really know if ill like writing them, but i thought i could make this one really cute and stuff. :)


It was Friday night. Aka movie marathon with the buds. Aka eat too much junk food and watch stupid comedies with Stiles and Scott. For the last couple years you three have been so close, about three months ago, you and Stiles kissed at a party and now, you maybe dating..you aren’t really sure..neither is he. You walked into Stiles house without even knocking, thats how close you guys were. “Yo Stiles, I’m here. Where are you?” You yelled out and headed straight to the kitchen looking for some pop. “Coming!” He yelled from upstairs. “Hey, so bad news…or good news depending on how you look at it.” He said with his phone in his hand. “What?” You laughed. “Scott is sick. Fever, puking, all that fun stuff. So looks like its just you and..me…” you felt fear instantly. Or maybe that was excitement. “Ohh…” You said. “Well, looks like I’m picking the movie then.” You gave him a sly smile. Scott and Stiles always agreed on picking the dumbest movies. “Fine.so Chinese sound good?” He asked. “Yeah sure.” You replied. 

“Here try this.” You put chopsticks holding noodles infant of his face and whenever he tried to take a bite you moved them. “Hey, i will bite you.” He said, you laughed and continued. “No you won’t. Im too fast for you.” Then he grabbed your hand and took the noodles. “Hey thats cheating!” You laughed as sauce fell onto his shirt. “Oh here.” You grabbed a napkin and started whipping it off his blue shirt, and his neck, and his cheek. “Thanks..” He said while starring a you. It took you a second to realize you were starring at his lips the entire time. “yeah no problem.” You said and quickly turned. For the next twenty minutes you both sat starring at the TV. You weren’t even paying attention and you didn’t think Stiles was either. For some reason you were getting really really nervous, and that was making you really hot. You couldn’t take it anymore so you started taking your cardigan off, leaving you in a white tank top. You felt Stiles’s eyes on you. The whole time. “Can i ask you something?” You heard his voice suddenly. “Of course.’ You answered. He slid closer to you. “What are…we? Or are we anything?” He asked. “I really don’t know. I have been wondering that myself.” You felt your face going red, thank god it was dark in here. “I mean we kissed..a few times, we do this…” He took your hand and held it. “We cuddle. And we are always together. i know the pack thinks we are together. Or …should be.” He said, you starred at him, his eyes, his mouth, his cute puppy dog eyes again. All of a sudden you were on him. Your lips on his, pushing him backwards, slamming him into the couch.  He seemed confused for a second then melted into it. His hands found your face, then your waist, then your thighs. Your hands on his face, though his hair. You started grabbing his shirt when he stopped you. “Sorry..” You said getting off of him. “No no no, i just think we should go like..upstairs.” He smiled, you smiled. Then he yanked you off the couch and pulled you into him, his lips hard against yours, his hands grabbing at your waist. You both made your way upstairs without parting. 



Once you got to his room, you fell onto the bed and he fell onto of you. He kissed your neck as you took his shirt off, then he took your shirt off. You made out on the bed for a few minutes before he asked; “Are you sure?” You were both panting. “Yeah, yeah i am.” You said and smiled. He went to the bathroom quickly and came back. He walked over to you and bent down to kiss you, you pulled him onto the bed again. He undid your pants, and you undid his belt. Before your knew it you were both in your underwear. You decided to slip under the blanket and he followed. He fumbled with the condom for a minute before looking at you. You knew that look meant it was about to happen. You touched his face softly, leading him over you. He delicately slid your undies off. He kissed you as it happened. Your hands around his back, gripping him as the pain passed. “Are you okay?” He whispered. You nodded. 

You both started to pant now, the pain stopped and pleasure took over. Stiles buried his face in your neck, his hot breath gave you goosebumps. You couldn’t help but let little sounds out when things were getting good and whenever you did Stiles seemed to do the same. You couldn't help but dig your nails into his back. “Hey.” He said and laughed. “sorry.” You said. He kissed your and laced his fingers in-between yours, resting them by your head. 

All of a sudden you felt something. Something big was coming. You felt like your were going to explode into stardust. Your panting picked up, his did too. You dug your nails into his hands and he didn’t seem to care about the pain, was too busy concentrating. You arched your back, you couldn’t control anything anymore. You let out a sound that seemed to send Stiles, and yourself over the edge. The world finally stopped, you felt everything melt, every atom you were made of collided with his, warmth rolled over your body like a wave over sand, binding you to him. You felt at peace. 

His let his weight collapse on you, his face buried in your neck again. You both lay there trying to catch your breath. Trying to come back to planet earth. Once you did you moved to look at Stiles. He was starring at you. examining your face. Neither of you said anything, he just gently grabbed your face and pulled you closer to him, his lips gently touching yours. 

External image
Sixty-nine.


Rocky

“Well, you talk to her right?” I asked

“Yeah” L nodded

“And…?” I questioned looking over at the clock and seeing it was close to two in the morning

It was only a matter of time before Traci woke up and realized I wasn’t lying next to her. L and I needed to wrap this up quick before she starts blowing up my line

He shrugged “What you think?” he asked

“Damn…” I trailed off “Well at least we knew this time around and it wasn’t some random shit thrown in your face” I said

He nodded “Cyn knew before I did and she tried to lie and say she didn’t” he shook his head

I winced at the thought of how that conversation must have went knowing how Cyn couldn’t lie her way out of a plastic bag.

“I couldn’t be mad at her though because she ain’t really know better” he said

“I hear you on that” I nodded “I know this shit not sitting well with you, you probably got everybody else fooled but I know you” I said

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