i couldn't think of a quote im sorry

It’s not fair that you’re still the only person that can make me smile even when I’m so incredibly down. It’s not fair that your voice is the only thing that seems to calm me down when I’m thinking about getting out of town and never seeing this place again. It’s not fair that your eyes locked on mine makes me feel more cared for than my own family does. It’s not fair that you left and found new places to leave pieces of your heart after I let you into my head. It’s not fair that I’m still upset and you seem just fine. It may not be fair but I wouldn’t have it any other way because when I think about you with your eyes still so bright… It makes me happy again. It’s not fair but I hope you’re so unbelievably happy. That’s the only thing that makes this unfairness bearable.
—  It’s not fair that you don’t think about me anymore, but it’s still okay.

I realized that I didn’t know what else to do.

That’s when I finally understood… There’s nothing left to do.

You’re gone and that has to be okay with me.

—  It’s not though
Take my hand and drag me back to where we were. I don’t want to let you go but I woke up this morning and found that you were the last person that I wanted to talk to. I guess I had to move on eventually. Who would have thought it would make me feel so selfish? I wanted to be everything you needed. I guess that just makes me stupid. Please, don’t let me go. Please, come back for me. Please, take me home again.
—  Pathetic and desperate
I don’t write about us because I’m afraid I’ll somehow mess it up.
—  I don’t know what we’re doing anymore
As you were kissing me, all I was thinking about was how I never thought we would ever be so close again. Once we were done.. It was like I could see you leaving all over again and I had to close my eyes so I wouldn’t ask you to stay. I know I’m walking into trap and yet I’m still walking into your arms because as always I want you to prove me wrong.
—  I won’t tell if you won’t

I knew what today was. I just tried to block it out. I think I just need some time to clear my head of you before I continue being so persistent in my efforts to get us back. But how could I forget…
I was running and saw a couple kissing. I ran as fast as I could back to my car and then I just collapsed. My car was two miles away. I sprinted two miles in attempt to not think of you.
On my drive back home, I listened to all of your favorites. It wasn’t intentional but I guess it was the least I could do. I still refused to think of you.
I didn’t call. I didn’t text. I shouldn’t feel guilty because it’s not like you are waiting by the phone, but for some reason I do. I didn’t say anything at all to you.

But I’ve said it to myself multiple times today. Happy Birthday. I’m sorry that I’m not saying it tonight…

—  I wish I could be there to celebrate but things changed months ago and I don’t think you want me there