All of these are mine, free for grabs, I just want to know if you write them so that I could read it. Some are tear-jerkers, some are actually crack material.
I’m the royal executioner and I’ve just received an execution warrant and oh God it’s you I have to put to sword.
I was supposed to poison the king during a feast but I didn’t know you were his food taster, now how do I save you without actually losing my head?
We met in the dungeon, you’re a petty thief and I’m a murderer, but I didn’t want to frighten you so I said I was a thief too, but the day of my execution is approaching and should I tell you the truth?
You are a nobleman and your enemies sent me to kill you, but damn you are cute and I really don’t want to do it now.
You are a knight and you’ve just won the tourney and put the wreath on my head in front of everyone, why the hell did you do that?
You’re the king, I’m your cook, you were really sick last night and you think I tried to poison you, but I’m just really clumsy and I messed up, please don’t chop my head off.
I’m a member of your guard escorting you to your future bride, but we fell in love on the way and now you don’t want to marry her, her father and your father are going to kill us.
You’re a bandit and you kidnapped me for ransom, my family is poor, but I still keep pretending I am noble and rich so you won’t kill me, also I think you kinda fancy me, we could work with that.
You’re a messenger delivering a top secret message, you’ve mistaken me for the recipient and now I’ve read it and fuck if they find out we’re both dead.
You’re a slave being auctioned, I know the guy bidding for you is a horrible person and I feel sorry for you, so I keep bidding as well, but I don’t actually have the money, oh God, how is this going to end?
I stole your horse when I was running from someone, now I came to return it, please don’t be mad.
I’m a painter decorating a church and I kinda gave one of the angels your face, now you are sitting at that church and you’ve just seen it, just kill me know.
I don’t actually have an explanation for hiding naked in your courtyard, but please don’t call the guards?
I’ve stolen one of your soldiers’ uniform when he fell asleep at the inn, so that I could steal some things in your camp, you’re the commander and now you think I’m really one of your soldiers and how am I going to get out of here, also I can’t fight to save my life, this was a really bad idea.
You’re the best swordsman in town and I bragged I could beat you when I was drunk, but I can’t actually fight, I just fancied you, please don’t kill me.
I’m a physician, you’re our king’s only son and they called me to cure you of this mysterious illness, please, don’t die on me or I’m dead too.
I’m a poet and I wrote a bunch of erotic poems about you, the lord of this city, as a joke, but then I got drunk and lost them somewhere, if you see them I’m dead oh shit.
You saved me from the guys who wanted to ritually sacrifice me, but damn you, it was supposed to happen, I’m pretty sure we’ve angered the gods now just because you totally didn’t get it.
I was just about to be executed when you invaded the city and now that the fight’s over you don’t know whether to actually finish that execution or not, like hello, if you could take the gag out, I’d like to have my say in this, thank you.
You’re imprisoned in the castle where I work and whenever I pass that tiny window of your cell, you beg me to bring you food, I don’t have the heart not to do it but if they catch me I’m dead. Also you say you’re not a bad person, should I trust you?
No, I swear I’m not a criminal and these men are not taking me to prison, I’m their hostage and they will probably kill me, please I know I can’t speak with the gag in my mouth but read my eyes or something and save me, please please please.
What the hell do you mean that you misplaced the king’s crown accidentally, I know I’m the royal jeweler but I DON’T have a replica, oh God, fine, fine, calm down, we’ll think of something.
They locked us together in a room because they thought we had plague, I know for sure I don’t have it but what if you do, stay away from me, actually no, stop crying, you’re not going to die, I’m sure it’s just a weird looking bruise, come here, I’ll hold you.
You’re a mad alchemist and you need my blood, but I’m sure we can do this without you killing me, surely you don’t need that much, woah, put down the machete, I’m sure a small puncture wound will be enough.
I took off my shirt in front of you and you’ve just seen my birthmark, no, my father is not the Devil, it’s just a birthmark, but if you tell anyone, I’ll kill you, I swear.
For the smart Shepard and the broken Shepard; the loud Shepard and the quiet Shepard. For the one with the golden heart and the one whose words can inspire armies. For those who stand hand in hand at the end of all things because they’re stronger together.
Au where Jean, Marco, Connie, Armin, Bertholdt, Reiner, and Eren go shopping. The song ‘I’m too sexy’ by Right Said Fred starts to play and they start to put on sunglasses doing the catwalk and sexy dances in every aisle because they’re all sexy dorks and they know they’re too sexy.