I don’t know if any of you will really care about seeing this but I know there are 5,606 of you and I feel the need to address something.
I havnt posted anything in like… 3 months? And I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation but I feel like ya’ll do since you all were the most dedicated lil shits I knew.
I have lost touch with this blog. A lot of touch. It came to a time where I dreaded updating it cause of reasons I was really to afraid to bring up.
I’m gunna bring them up now. Let it all loose and maybe then can I start fixing it.
-I hated my artsyle.
Full on loathed it. It was generic and always changing and I felt that it was a bad thing since a lot of ask blogs had consistent and recognizable artstyles and I didnt.
-I was super jealous of other ask blogs.
I have been making content on this blog for 3 years and yes Ive accumulated a nice following and I love all of you but it really hurt to see some bright eyed and bushy tailed newcomer start a blog and literally hit with so many followers.
It felt like i spent my time crawling up a wet dirt wall for attention and validation for the work I made and this new comer was given a ladder to clime cause they had a nicer artsyle.
Ofcourse I don’t think like that now. Yes I’m still jelly as hell, but in a good way. Those blog inspire me. And I couldn't be more happier for them. Hell I proud.
I know now that neither of us have a say in who views our content and its all a literal lottery only a few can win at.
- I’m not that great at story telling
It came to my attention when i started making harder hitting storie lines and tried to add depth to the characters I created (By created I mean the versions I use in my blog)
I was completely unable to finish the now named “Unspoken ark” Where we see the underlying issues of BEN’s trauma with water and drowning.
I literally hit a road block and ultimately refused to do anything. Ever time I tried my art faltered and I began making mistakes in the craft I thought i had down. I began to crumble and make excuses to not finish it.
There are more reasons I stopped doing this (and art in general) but they are very personal and would require a deeper explanation which I want to save for another time.
But I don’t want any of you to worry. Alot can happen in three months.
I’m not giving up on this blog.
While i was the most stressful thing ive ever done it was also the most fun and consistent thing I ever did. I had never stuck with anything for so long and it makes me happy that I feel motivated to continue it.
But I’m gunna change how I do things.
This will never be a professional ask blog. It is now and will forever be something I do for fun. It will also double as a place for me to mess around and play with my art.
You all will see first hand how I’m developing as an artist.
I just hope you’re all ok with that.
- Mun Jay