i couldn't help it sorry if i'm late to the party

Another beholder, this one blind, wanders into the library of the one we killed while we're exploring, humming a nursery rhyme
  • <p> <b>Beholder, in a creaky old lady voice:</b> Who's there?<p/><b>Aaeye:</b> We mean you no harm.<p/><b>Harry:</b> Easy there.<p/><b>Beholder:</b> Who's there? Are you friends of my son?<p/><b>Me, OOC:</b> It's his- You're making us deal with the beholder's mother??<p/><b>Beholder:</b> Are you Argy's friends?<p/><b>Harry:</b> You know- yes, yeah, he had a couple of books about a couple of my friends here, so we wanted to see what he knew about us.<p/><b>Beholder:</b> Well, where is he? He's late for dinner.<p/><b>Harry:</b> I don't know; he stepped out for a little bit.<p/><b>Beholder:</b> He went out? Why would he do that? He never leaves his basement.<p/><b></b> *whole party bursts out laughing*<p/><b>Me, OOC:</b> He lives in his mother's basement?<p/><b>Harry:</b> Well, you see, the thing is, he wanted to see if he could find a nice, uh, female, to bring home to you.<p/><b>Beholder:</b> What? Is his mother not good enough for him?<p/><b>Harry:</b> No, no no no, he wanted to make you proud!<p/><b>DM:</b> Roll a Deception check.<p/><b>Matt:</b> *rolls* Nope! That's a ten.<p/><b>Beholder:</b> My son has no interest in such things! All he does is sit and read his books!<p/><b>Harry:</b> Well, uh, yeah, I mean, I talked to him a little bit-<p/><b>Beholder:</b> You sound... untruthful. That will certainly not do!<p/><b>Me:</b> Wait, hang on, I want to say-<p/><b>Aaeye:</b> The important thing is that there's no need for further hostilities.<p/><b>Me:</b> Dammit.<p/><b>Beholder:</b> I beg your pardon?<p/><b>Don:</b> I can't do words.<p/><b>Me:</b> *OOC* Shh! I can help with this. *in-character* He didn't actually step out for a female, he stepped out for a book, my friend here misunderstood, he stepped out for a book ON females, I don't know exactly why-<p/><b>DM:</b> Deception?<p/><b>Me:</b> I didn't put ranks into Deception, but I've got a +5 anyways. *rolls* 17!<p/><b>DM:</b> Okay. She just kind looks at you oddly, but you notice that her eyes are kind of swiveling, trying to find focus on you, but it does look like she has cataracts, so she's probably blind. She's looking around the chamber, trying to pinpoint your voices.<p/><b>Beholder:</b> My son would never leave to find a book. He would simply command an organism to do it for him.<p/><b>Me:</b> Well, he seemed very determined to get this book on his own; I can't tell you why.<p/><b>Aaeye:</b> He was certainly determined about something, you know, I can tell you that.<p/><b>Me, whispering:</b> Stop talking. You're not helping. *to Harry* Also, you stop talking; you're not helping either.<p/><b>DM:</b> At this point, Raiya and Kanithar, you two are coming down the corridor. You notice that the passage in front of you, about sixty feet ahead, is blocked by this beholder, who seems to be scolding the people inside.<p/><b>Me:</b> And is clearly some sort of blind maternal figure.<p/><b>Harry:</b> I'm sorry, I did not catch your name, madam.<p/><b>Beholder:</b> Oh! I'm Mama Silax.<p/><b>Me, Harry, and Aaeye:</b> Mama Silax.<p/><b>Me:</b> Pleasure to meet you.<p/><b>Mama Silax:</b> Do you know where my son is?<p/><b>Me:</b> I'm sorry, we don't know. He wouldn't tell us where he was going. He just said he was going out to find the book.<p/><b>DM:</b> At this point, you watch as one large eye in the center of her face opens up, and this one, while the others are milky and kind of blinded, this one can see perfectly.<p/><b>Me:</b> Ohhhh, shit.<p/><b>DM:</b> As she gazes about the room, looking at all of you, and you hear an inhuman screech rock the chamber as her gaze falls upon the destroyed and crumpled remains of her son.<p/><b>Me:</b> Oh, fuck, we didn't get rid of the body!<p/><b>DM:</b> You can see tears forming, milky tears.<p/><b></b> *whole party laughs*<p/><b>Me:</b> Should we roll initiative?<p/><b>Don:</b> I have a power called Emissary of Peace! *in character* There was a misunderstanding, a conflict that we tried to avoid but couldn't, our friend perished, your son perished, it was unfortunate. Let us not repeat this nastiness. *rolls* I got a 22!<p/><b>DM:</b> You see the milky tears form and drip to the ground. Where they fall, you see the carpet steam, like acid.<p/><b>Me:</b> Oh, great acid tears. Nothing is quite as frightening as a mama beholder's tears.<p/><b>DM:</b> She floats a little forward into the room, and where she heard your voice coming from, she just kinda plops down and leans up against you.<p/><b>Me:</b> Oh, amazing.<p/><b>Aaeye:</b> *awkwardly pats Mama Silax on the back*<p/><b>Mama Silax:</b> What happened? Please tell me of my son.<p/><b>Harry, whispering:</b> Blame the dead guy (we lost an NPC party member in the fight).<p/><b>DM:</b> Luckily, her hearing's not too good either.<p/><b>Harry:</b> Well, ahem, we heard tales of your son, and came up here to speak to him-<p/><b>Mama Silax:</b> I don't like you! I asked him *gestures to Aaeye*. You're a liar!<p/><b>Me:</b> We're so sorry, we just wanted to spare your feelings.<p/><b>Aaeye:</b> Anyways, we came up here to negotiate, and unfortunately, our leader and your son did not come to an understanding, and violence erupted, and unfortunately, neither your son nor our leader and dear friend survived.<p/><b>Mama Silax:</b> Dear heavens, why'd you have to take my son?<p/><b></b> *Kanithar and Raiya enter and see Mama Silax trying to curl into a ball against Aaeye, weeping acid tears*<p/><b>Kanithar, imperiously:</b> Is it begging for mercy?<p/><b>Aaeye:</b> I am consoling her over the deaths that we have all suffered from!<p/><b>Harry:</b> It's a mother weeping for her kid!<p/><b>Raiya, baffled:</b> What?<p/><b>Harry:</b> It's a mother, weeping for her kid!<p/><b>Kanithar:</b> This must be some sort of deception. Abominations do not weep for their children.<p/><b>Me, OOC:</b> Oh, no, you don't say that to her face, do you?<p/><b>Evan:</b> I say that very loudly.<p/><b>Me:</b> Oh, no. Kanithar, no, Kanithar, no, you're going to get us all killed.<p/><b>Kanithar, ignoring me:</b> What are we doing with the creature?<p/><b>Aaeye:</b> We're having a moment of understanding for all of us, that we are all somebody's child.<p/><b>Me:</b> My parents are dead.<p/><b>Harry:</b> So are mine.<p/><b>Me:</b> I never met them.<p/><b>Evan:</b> Knowledge check to see what I know about beholders, and to see if this is unusual?<p/><b></b> *Aaeye continues lecturing on unity in the background while Kanithar and Raiya put their heads together to see what they know about beholders and I make desperate "shut the fuck up" gestures at Kanithar, who continues ignoring me*<p/><b>DM:</b> This seems like normal behavior.<p/><b>Me:</b> What, crying beholders?<p/><b>DM:</b> Yeah, he's just like, "is this normal for beholders? Do they have parents?"<p/><b>Me, to Evan:</b> What, did you roll a one?<p/><b>Evan:</b> No, I got a total of 12, it just wasn't enough.<p/><b>Me, belatedly realizing I should probably roll my own check:</b> 24 Arcana? Are beholders a born creature or made?<p/><b>DM:</b> Yeah, they're born. They have parents.<p/><b>Me:</b> Oh, huh. So this is legit. This is awkward.<p/><b>Kanithar:</b> If this is indeed true, then destroy the beast so she does not spawn any further abominations.<p/><b>Kirby:</b> Jesus!<p/><b>Harry:</b> Whoa, whoa, whoa!<p/><b>Me:</b> Kanithar! She's done nobody harm!<p/><b>Kanithar:</b> She does not belong here. She is a crime against nature!<p/><b>Aaeye:</b> She's part of nature.<p/><b>Me:</b> Kanithar, she's not going to spawn any more. She's clearly a widow, she's clearly-<p/><b></b> *party starts laughing*<p/><b>Kirby:</b> Clearly a single mother-<p/><b>Matt:</b> Past menopause or kids-<p/><b>Me:</b> Look, I'm gonna try to be respectful about it, but she's clearly past her child-bearing years. She's mostly blind, she's mostly deaf, her son was the only thing she had; she'll be fine, just leave her alone, she'll die naturally. Or, unnaturally, as the case may be, but on her own. She'll die of old age.<p/><b></b> (Long story short, we found out Mama Silax and her son were brought to this plane against their will. We brought back her son and sent them both back to their home plane as a compromise between Kanithar's desire to murder abominations and the rest of the party's desire not to slaughter a defenseless grieving mother. This conversation lasted a total of about twenty minutes, and it took me half an hour to transcribe ten minutes, so this is what you get.)<p/></p>
Giftmas - Undertale Secret Santa

Hey @hachiquius, I’m your Secret Santa for @undertalesecretsanta! I’d like to thank you for giving me the opportunity to write some Mapleblossom. Papyrus and Slim are honestly such wonderful characters, and they don’t get enough love as a pair.

I hope your holidays went well and I hope you enjoy this! I pray that I did these two justice. They’re up there with my favourite characters as well  ❤ ❤

Warning for intrusive thoughts (I’m sorry, I just… I can’t seem to stop myself from writing angst. Even for something this fluffy. If you’d like to avoid them, they’re all written in strikethrough text, so they’re pretty easy to skip!)

~below the cut~


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baroncorbing  asked:

okay, challenge time. thoughts on sami/dean/finn. i want DETAILS.

this is…….a cursed ask peggy.

putting it under a read more bc this got very very long!!

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insouciance (fluff)

MEMBER/GROUP: Oh Sehun (EXO)

GENRE: fluff, lots of teasing too (Sehunnie is v.v cheeky in this lmao)

AUTHOR’S NOTE: oh don’t mind me this is just an appreciation one shot for one of the most unpredictable maknaes on the planet. bless you Sehun, thanks for existing noodle boiii~

Your name: submit What is this?

Originally posted by princewangeun

           ❛ he was stubborn❟ the king of insouciance❟ but he did love slowly❟                                                      fiercely and subtly.❜


OH SEHUN WAS DEFINITELY THE MOST DIFFICULT MAN YOU’D EVER MET.

He reminded you of the sea, calm, serene and teasing on some days, dangerous, mysterious and raging on the others. He could make storms cower with his temper, yet he’d rival the sun when he smiled. 

Sehun was a puzzle you couldn’t solve, for the pieces never quite fit together. 

And that night, it was yet another episode of your differences clashing together. You huffed at him as he held the remote, not sparing you a single glance. “You know I’m right,” you called out childishly, hoping to get even the slightest reaction from him. But you received nothing. “You were being stupid.” 

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anonymous asked:

I was playing Pokemon Go around an area popular for players to gather. Then suddenly someone possibly using a third party tracker shouted "LAPRAS" and there was a human stampede to the location. I joined in, more carefully as some were running into traffic, and couldn't help but remember all the fanart of Genos and Saitama playing and I thought "If this was those two either Saitama would ZOOM right there or Genos would use his blasters to propel them there so sensei could catch the Pokemon."

A-anon that’s so cute I want them to blast off after Pokemon so badly ////

Happy Birthday, From Afar

This is because I miss Narry and I’m pretty sure Harry misses Niall even though it looked like he had a ton of fun.

X

Harry waits, phone pressed to his ear as he leans back against the back wall of the restaurant. It’s going on one o’clock in the morning now and he can still hear the music from inside but the party is the least of his worries right now. Because there’s a boy on the other side of the word and a text message on his phone — and Harry just wants to hear his voice.

The ringing stops, Harry’s breath catches in his throat and then there’s a voice, deep and rough and distinctly Irish, coming through the phone.

[[READ MORE]]

“Hey.”

“Where are you?” Harry slurs immediately. He’ll say ‘hi’ later.

There’s a pause and then some rustling and — “What?”

“You’re not here. Where are you?”

“‘m in Australia, Harry,” Niall mutters tiredly. “You know that.”

Harry pouts, as though Niall can see him. “I want you to be here.”

Niall sighs. “Haz-“
“‘s my birthday, Niall. I want you for m’ birthday.”

“I know, Harry,” Niall murmurs softly. “But we-“

“Liam and Louis are both here,” Harry says, pushing himself away from the wall. The world tilts a little bit and he stumbles before catching himself with a hand against the bricks.

“I know-“

“Why didn’t you come? Out of everyone, I expected you to be the one to-“

“Harry,” Niall groans — and Harry can see him pinching the bridge of his nose. “We agreed not to do this.”

The brunette nods, runs a hand through his hair. “I jus’ wanna know why you didn’t wanna come.”

“You know it’s not b’cause I didn’t want to come,” Niall tells him. “We talked about it. We agreed to keep our distance until the tour started.”

Harry groans as he leans back once more against the brick wall. “Why the hell would we agree to do that?”

Niall snorts. “Fangirls,” he says. “They’re catching on, remember?”

“Yeah — but Louis’ here, Niall,” Harry points out. Because that’s something, right? “And that’s-“

“Yeah and you should see the things they’re saying on Twitter,” Niall scoffs.

“What things?”

“What else?”

Harry frowns. He knows what happens every time he and Louis do something even remotely similar. He knows what they think, what they say online. And he knows it gets Niall — even if the blond pretends it doesn’t; even if none of it true. Especially because they’ve got it wrong. “‘m sorry-“

“Don’t, Haz,” Niall whispers — and Harry can imagine Niall shaking his head, grabbing Harry’s hand. “It’s not your fault. It’s just…it’s easier for us to slow things down now so it doesn’t spiral out of control before we’re ready. Right? That’s what we decided.”

“You think this is easy?”

“No, that’s not- This is hard for me too, you know.”

Harry rolls his head, let’s his head fall back against the wall. “Says the boy who’s spent the last two days watching tennis with his laddies.”

“Says the boy currently partying it up with some of Hollywood’s Royalty.”

“Yeah, well, I’m currently missing one Royal in particular right now,” Harry slurs.

Niall hums, like he’s smiling on the other side of the world. “Miss you too, yeah,” he whispers.

Harry licks his lips, bites back the three little words he really wants to say.

An easy, comfortable silence falls between them. It doesn’t happen very often, silence between them, but when it does it’s sort of refreshing; over the phone, being thousands of miles away, it’s almost necessary. It’s like having his head against Niall’s chest and listening to him breathe.

“You should get back to your party,” Niall says, breaking the silence. “Someone’ll go looking for you eventually. Don’t want to be caught acting like a mope at your own birthday party.”

“Yeah,” Harry mutters.

“Hey, c’mon - we’ll go out next weekend; I’ll make it extra special,” the blond promises.

Harry smirks. “You better.”

“Happy Birthday, H-.”

Niall’s cut off, then, by multiple shouts of “HARRY! Shots!” from inside.

Harry winces slightly as he pushes himself away from the wall. The door next to him flies open and then Jeff’s stumbling through the doorway. He asks, silently, who’s on the phone and Harry mouths Niall before ushering him back inside. “Sorry, I have to-“

“Go,” Niall insists. “Have fun.”

X

Harry groans, scratches the back of his head as he makes his way through the front hall towards the door. His bare feet slap against the marble floor. His house is empty again, save for himself and Jeff, and they’d only just finished cleaning up the red cups and dishes from watching the Super Bowl. Jeff’s already asleep, he’s sure, in one of the spare rooms and Harry had been about to retire to his own bedroom when the doorbell rang — at 2:30 in the morning.

His breath catches in his throat and the butterflies in his stomach come to life when he sees the distorted version of the figure on the other side of the door through the blurry, textured glass panes. Short, shaggy blond hair is the first thing he sees — and then it’s all broad shoulders and skinny legs; a silhouette he would recognize anywhere. Still, he thinks he’s seeing things when he pulls the door open.

He blinks in confusion as his gaze focuses on the boy standing in front of him. The boy, who, just 24 hours ago was a whole world away from him. On his birthday. “N-Niall?” he stutters dumbly.

The blond smiles shyly — all pretty pink lips and pearly white teeth at him. “Hi.”

“What are you - you’re here,” Harry breathes, leaning his shoulder against the door. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you think I’m doing here?” Niall asks, raising his left eyebrow as he tilts his head to the side curiously.

“You - you’re late. You’re, like, a whole day late.”

“I could leave, if you’d rather?” Niall suggests, hooking his thumb over his shoulder to point at the black car in the driveway behind him. Cal is sitting in the driver’s seat, a shit-eating grin on his face as he waves through the passenger window at Harry. “I mean, I only just flew 14 hours to get here — not to mention the fact that I’m basically a whole day in the past now. But I could just get poor Cal to take me back to the airport and-“

Harry grabs the collar of Niall’s jumper and pulls, hard. Niall laughs as he stumbles forward whilst Harry waves Cal away with the other hand. He closes the door the moment he gets Niall safely inside and then presses him back against it. He rests his forehead against Niall’s, presses their mouths together in a hard, close-mouthed kiss and only pulls back to look at him; he drinks Niall in like a man who’s gone thirsty, a man who hasn’t seen his boyfriend in about two months. “Hi,” he whispers, bringing one hand up to cup one side of Niall’s face whilst he uses the other to lock the door.

“Hi,” Niall giggles, carding his fingers through Harry’s hair. “Happy Birthday.”

Harry closes his eyes, hums as he pushes his head against Niall’s hand. “You didn’t have to come,” he murmurs. “This is going to mess with your sleeping cycle by the time we get back there.”

Niall cocks his head to the side and smirks. “Take me to bed right now and maybe it won’t be so bad, birthday boy.”