i couldn't go a day without you

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there’s a good reason these tables are numbered honey, you just haven’t thought of it yet // panic! at the disco

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Week 1, day 7

Finally home.


And finally finished! The first week was definitely a challenge to myself, and while it was hard I’m happy with how it worked out. I’ll be posting a full version with all of them at the end of the month, and I’ll do the same (in separate posts) with the other weeks. I won’t be doing one a day for the other weeks, but I’ll definitely put out more than one per week. Hope you guys enjoyed them!

Day 1, Day 2, Day 3, Day 4, Day 5, Day 6

Different Dreams, Different People

“Hey—hey, I’m just calling because I haven’t heard from you in a week. Call me when you can, alright? I miss you.” There goes another voicemail I record for him.

After hours at work shelving books and guiding guests to their requested novels and textbooks, I’m finally on my way home. Without any contact with Jinyoung, my days have been nothing but dreadful yet I fake it to make it. As I reach the front of my door, I juggle my notebooks and bag onto one arm as I insert my key into the lock. The second I crack the door open, JJ, my Pomeranian, runs to greet me and hops around my ankles.

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I had my first appointment with my GP about starting my transition and it went amazing!! I was so nervous all day and my mind kept coming up with scenarios about how the appointment would go wrong but like it didn’t. The GP said she’d never dealt with a transgender person so she left the room to get a colleague, I was so tense just sitting in there waiting for her to come back. A few minutes later she came back with the colleague and they asked me some questions about how I feel and why I want to transition. After that she was like ‘okay I’ll write the referral letter and send it off to charring cross today’. I was so suprised by how okay she was with it because I’ve read about a lot of trans peoples transitions online and most of them have said about how their GPs were hesitant to refer them and I was sure that it would be the same for me but it wasn’t. I’m just so excited because I’d never thought I’d actually be able to do this yet here I am doing it all, I honestly feel like I could take on the world right now!!

i know i say this every month but i’m going to be so positive this month and just in general (i’ll explain some more about this in a few days when i have the time to actually write out what i want to say) and i truly believe it this time because i’m finally going to counselling and the doctors for the issues i’ve been facing!!!! 

scary stuff but i’m pretty proud of myself !!!! it only gets better :-)