i couldn't decide between this or another one

2

anonymous asked: nezumi or shion

‘‘I can protect us, you know. I have enough strength to protect you and me.’‘

2

Time for another art surprise! :) This one is for the lovely @salzrand, who has given me so many words of support and has truly brightened my day a lot of times. So here’s a little Ren Ren for one of the best Renji artists out there!

Es freut mich so sehr, dich kennengelernt zu haben! Danke schön für alles & ich hoffe, mein kleines Geschenk gefäIIt dir!

4

Random sets from the TWD season 4 red carpet premiere [1/?]

anonymous asked:

Hi; so I had this thought at 3am that I can't get rid of: We all know Marcus puts his people's safety first, always. But we also saw that he couldn't bare to lose Abby, which is probably gonna increase once they're aware of their feelings and in a relationship. If he were to decide between saving Abby and saving his people, and he had to chose just one (and there is no other way, no cheating :p) - who would he chose? His people are so important to him, but I can't see him forsaking Abby either.

NONNIE THIS IS WITHOUT DOUBT THE RUDEST MESSAGE I HAVE EVER RECIEVED HOW DARE YOU, THERE HAS TO BE ANOTHER WAY. Seriously though this is like, hugely impossible this is terrible. But I will try and answer it okay let me see.

Season 1 Marcus would have looked at it as purely numbers, one Abby vs hundreds, maybe thousands of his people. That would have made it easier for him, easier for him to decide at least, not easier to live with, but easier to choose. A hard decision, but one that makes logical sense, one that he has to follow-through with because that’s what he does, that’s what he’s made himself into; the man who does things no-one else will, the things no-one else wants to consider, the man who gets his hands filthy and bloody and soiled, the man who bears is so they don’t have to.

Season 2 Marcus and now verging into season 3 and beyond with his feelings increasing for Abby where we’ve seen him being continually protective over her, keeping her out of harm’s way and eventually building up to the kiss however I think depends a lot on circumstances. I suppose that’s a bit of a lazy way of me answering it but I think it if were a case of maybe Abby being injured and he had to leave his people to get her to safety he would do that, transfer leadership over to Bellamy or someone else he trusted and have her tended to he would do that.

If it was a choice between him and her; or between him and his people the choice would be easy, the choice would be him, that’s a sacrifice he’s been fully prepared to make more than once. But this is something harder and crueller and it’s not a choice he can make on his own.

But if it genuinely came down to a choice that he had to make between saving just her or saving all of his people; all of their people well I see it going down a little like this (and you can blame @kane-and-griffin for these thoughts still lingering in my head after yesterday okay, this is as much Claire’s fault as mine I want that known):

If they were going to put Marcus in this hideous, awful position, well certainly if I was going to put him in this hideously awful position I would have it so that Abby knows the stakes too, she knows what he has to decide between and she knows how impossible that will be for him; the woman he loves versus the people he’s dedicated his whole life to serving and protecting.

“Go,” she would tell him, softly, calmly, her voice quiet but her eyes hard and sure, “Do what you have to do.” Because she knows now, because he taught her, that sometimes, there is no other way, sometimes it has to be this, has to come down to a sacrifice, sometimes you can’t save everyone; sometimes salvation comes at a price.

And he would protest, he would tell her that, “No. He can’t just leave her, he can’t just abandon her, there has to be another way.”

She would just smile sadly at that, and shake her head and tell him, “You know there isn’t. You know it has to be like this. You know what you have to do.” And still he would shake his head and mouth in wordless protest because it can’t come down to this but she would take his hand and hold it tight and say, “It’s okay. I’ll be okay. This is my choice, Marcus. It’s okay.”

By now both their voices and their visions would be blurred by tears because by now they are able to see what’s going to happen, they are able to see what has to happen, but still he would fight against it because, “I can’t lose you, Abby. I can’t leave you here to die, I have to save you too or none of this will matter.”

“It will matter,” she would say, “You’ll have saved all of them, you’ll have done what I wanted. I told you, this is my choice, this is what I want.

” And a part of would want it to, even if it’s only a tiny part; for all that she loves him, for all the fight that she has in her that they could never beat out of her, or scare out of her, or wear her down so much that she simply cracked and lost it, now, like this, she could make the decision herself for her fight to finally be over. Everyone she loves will be waiting for her, all the people that they’ve lost, her parents, and Jake, and she can rest at last (while still keeping one eye on the ground, on Marcus and Clarke, because she’ll always take care of them.) 

And she would tell him this too, to make him understand, “I’m doing this for you, for Clarke. Keep her safe for me, look after her, and look after yourself too.”

But he would still be fighting, still protesting, still shaking his head. And by then he would know how she felt all those times she nearly lost him, he would know how she felt on the Ark as it was coming down, as he volunteered to stay behind and she desperately asked for another way, for a way to save him, for a way to keep him safe and by her side. 

He would understand then, at the end, in the cruellest way, at the cruellest possible time as they come full circle; she taking on his role, of sacrifice, of quiet acceptance, of understanding of the harsh realities of this world that sometimes it needs to be this way; him taking on her role, searching for hope where there is none, looking for another way that he knows to be impossible, refusing to give up long after he’s been beaten.

Before he could say anymore though she would just look up into his eyes and say again, more firmly this time, “Go.” And then with the faintest of half-smiles on her lips, “That’s an order, Marcus. Go.”

He swore he would obey her, swore he would do whatever she asked when he made her his Chancellor, swore that he would always stand behind her, would always have her back, would always do whatever she asked of him, no matter how difficult it was. But not this. He can’t do this. He would think that she doesn’t understand because he’s never said it, he’s never had a chance to, and now that it might be his last, he doesn’t think the words will come.

But he would try, he would try and say it for her now, so she knows, so she understands why he can’t follow this order, why he has to disobey her “Abby I l-“

“I know.” Is all she would say, that faint smile back again, nodding quietly, telling him without words that she’s always known, that she does understand, “I know, Marcus.”

And then he’d kiss her. For what he would know, for what they would both know, was the first and last time. And he’d make it last as long as possible, he’d make it last forever if he could, because he would realise in that moment that he should have done this weeks ago, months ago, that he’s wasted so much time and he realises that when they’re down to minutes, where the time he has left with her can be measured in seconds. But he can’t cram all that lost time into those last minutes. And he’d know that too. 

He’d kiss her with his eyes closed, so he could just breathe her in, just hold her close, just savour this as long as possible without the memory being tarnished by the tears in both of their eyes and the fear she tries to hide but that he can always see.

And when the kiss finally ends, when he has to go, and has to go now, or else he’d wrap his arms around her and hold her close and stay there with her until the end of days, he’d go. He’d get up and turn away and he wouldn’t open his eyes until his back was to her and he couldn’t see her anymore, couldn’t be tempted to run back to her, to say it, to say the words that he’d understand she’s not able to hear, to shout them at her, to scream it until his lungs tear themselves to shreds: that he loves her, that he’s in love with her. But he would know why he wasn’t able to do that, would know that it would only hurt her, would know that it would break her resolve now as nothing else could.

And so he would leave, he would save his people, he would save their people. He would whisper goodbye at the door when he’d already closed it on her and only then, only when it was too late, too late to go back, too late to hold her close, too late to kiss her again, too late to tell her all the things he should have told her now, all the things he would know she probably knows but that he needed to say, and he would see her one last time and she would smile and nod her head, and mouth those words to him so that he knows, because she couldn’t do this unless she was sure that he knew, “I love you, too.”

It would be the hardest thing he had ever had to do and he would pray that it’s the hardest thing he’ll ever have to do. But he does it. Because he has to. Because she asked him to. Because it’s what she wanted. Because it was her choice and he had to let her make it; the way she had once let him make his.

And so he saves their people, and leaves the woman he loves behind to do so but he would never let them thank him, he would never let them commend him, he would never let them tell him how brave he was, how much they appreciate his sacrifice, he would always remind them, softly, and calmly, the way she first said to him, that it wasn’t his choice, that he wasn’t brave enough, he wasn’t strong enough to make that decision. But she was. She was. And that’s why he loved her.

So Marcus Kane would save his people and leave Abby. But in a way he would still choose her. Because he wouldn’t choose them, not really. He would choose to do what she wanted. He would choose her. He would take care of their people until the day he died too for her. He would keep Clarke safe most of all for her. He would do everything he had to do, and everything he could do for them for her. He would always try and find another way for her. From that moment on, every choice he made, would be her.