Which Austen book/movie do you think had the most sexual tension?
Persuasion, hands down.
Think about it: every other novel depends wholly upon the uncertainty of the heroine being unaware of the hero’s romantic interest for some portion of the novel, with misunderstandings and difficulties largely brought on by the structure of Proper Courtship where it was generally considered inappropriate for either party to display too much obvious inclination until a proposal was actually made. (Marianne’s quick and clear affection for Willoughby makes a lot of people uncomfortable. Fanny Price is commended for her placid response to Henry Crawford’s flirtations. Elizabeth Bennet doesn’t even begin to remotely consider Darcy as a marital prospect until after he’s proposed and been rejected with some of the sickest burns ever committed to the page.)
But Persuasion. Ah, Persuasion. Anne has already previously accepted and then rejected Wentworth before the novel even starts. The whole book already exists at the level of tension we see reached when Lizzy runs into Darcy unexpectedly on her visit to Pemberley. That’s the whole book.
And it gets better.
Anne didn’t reject Wentworth because she couldn’t fuckin’ stand him, the way Elizabeth chewed off Darcy’s ear for being a dillhole to Jane and (she thinks) to Wickham. Anne loved Wentworth, and he loved her. They were devoted to each other. It’s the fact that she broke off the engagement despite this that rankles, for both of them. The attraction was there. It was acknowledged. It was allowed to burn wild and bright for that brief, delicious time before Lady Russell’s doubts and concerns seized hold of Anne and persuaded her to wreck his happiness, and her own. No, they were both fully aware of how much they wanted each other, and they were like “yeah, let’s get married, it’ll be great, I love you so much, oh God you’re so attractive, you’re amazing, I want to spend the rest of my life with you, you’re everything I could ever want.”
It was real and undeniable. They cannot unsay any of it. And then it was over.
And that’s just the backstory.
So despite Wentworth being hella difficult for Anne to read, and her own shattered expectations and self-esteem leading her to believe that of course he’s over her and totally into Louisa Musgrove, why wouldn’t he be, she’s young and cute and so many things Anne is not…we still get to watch Anne burn for this man after eight years apart and know that that’s a fire that’s never going to go out for the rest of her life, if time and distance and hopelessness and even the attentions of other charming young men in Captain Benwick and Mr. Elliott haven’t managed to put out those flames.
And on the re-read we can pick up on every look and cue from Wentworth which we then know to be signs of the fact that he is as helplessly lost to his desire for this person as he was nearly a decade earlier. He wants to believe otherwise and tries to act as if it is–and in a classic case of over-compensation gives rise to hopes and expectations from Louisa Musgrove which then very nearly lock him into an attachment which would surely divide him from Anne forever. And even when he feels himself safe from that, he confronts the possibility of Anne being taken by a rival in Mr. Elliott, and can only watch, rather than give a clear sign of his intent. After all the time that has passed, he is now in the position Anne was in at the beginning of the book, and must painfully struggle to weigh his own doubts against his desires. The no-liking-each-other-too-much-until-you-pop-the-question courtship rules still apply, and an open and happy flirtation at this point is not in their natures as individuals–they’re older than most other heroes and all other heroines. They know the risks. They’ve seen happiness slip away, before, and wonder if it is lost forever. Their emotional stakes are higher. He cannot bear to ask again, face to face.
The misery. The agony. The helpless and resentful eyefucking. That LETTER.
A/N: i really like this! i hope you guys do too! send me suggestions and ideas please! also, if you would like me continue this please say so!
SUMMARY: due to his girlfriend who drove you crazy, you hadn’t spoken to jimin in months. he had also distanced himself from you, and he didn’t seem to mind too much… or at least you thought so.
You and Jimin had split ways for a few months once he had gotten a girlfriend. He spent less and less time with you, and you were more than just slightly jealous. You had liked him since the two of you met, a little bit over a year ago. At times, you believed that he felt the same, but at others you didn’t think so at all. Jimin was a confusing creature to you, and you never could understand him. Especially when he called you in tears, apologizing and begging for you to come by the dorms.
“Jimin, I’m busy studying,” you sighed. Although you desperately wanted to go lay in his arms and hold him, you had priorities. Jimin whimpered, obviously sobbing about something that had absolutely tore him apart. “I can’t, okay? Plus, we haven’t spoken in months. Why would I come over even if I could?” You heard Jimin continuing to cry on the line, and your heart ached. He was your soft spot, and no time away from him could change that. If someone hurt your Chim, then they had hurt you worse. Sitting on your bed surrounded by textbooks, you let out a sigh. “Jimin, answer me.”
“I miss you. I’m sorry that I ever abandoned you to hang out with her. You should have been over her on my list of friends, and I’m sorry. Forgive me, please,” Jimin choked out the words. You bit your tongue, glancing at the time on your phone. It was an early Thursday morning, meaning you had classes at eleven. “Y/N, I left you and the boys to hang out with her. She didn’t even treat me good, so I’m a fool. I should have just spent my time with you guys, because you’re far more important.”
“Jimin, I don’t have time to hear you rant. Go talk to Taehyung…”
“Y/N! Don’t you hear me!” Jimin cried out, and I ran my hand through my hair. He was in pain, and he knew that he could get my attention. He cried on the line, his hiccuping sobs in the background. “Taehyung told me to come to you. All of the boys want me to talk to you. I messed up our friendship, and I want to fix this. The boys said that you haven’t been the same since I started dating that witch. I’m sorry that I ever did that to you. Please forgive me; I don’t want you to ignore me.”
I replied, “Jimin.” He whined softly, completely shattering me. He wanted me to come over, and that was clear. He wouldn’t be calling me if he just wanted to repair his mistakes. I let out a deep breath, not realizing I had held it in. His voice sounded familiar, although he was not in the best condition. He was familiar, and I had missed him dearly. “I understand you’re upset about what you did, but I can’t just forgive you. I want to —I really do— It’s just that I can’t. You… You weren’t there for me, and why should I be there for you?”
“You shouldn’t,” Jimin hiccuped. “I’m an awful friend and I didn’t appreciate you like I should have. You should yell at me and hang up the phone. You should block my number and tell the boys to never bring me around. You should avoid coming to the dorms whenever I’m here, and try to have the boys over at your apartment instead. You shouldn’t listen to me cry and beg, but you are. I love you, Y/N. You are the best person possibly in my life, and I don’t know why I ever pushed you out. Y—”
“Jimin, I’ll be over in a few minutes.”
It didn’t take you long to arrive at the dorms, and when you knocked at the door, Namjoon instantly opened it. His eyes were wide, and he let out a well deserved sigh. You could hear Jimin crying, and you watched as Jungkook waved at you over Namjoon’s shoulder. You had remained close to the rest of the boys, but nothing compared to what your relationships were like before. Namjoon moved out of the way for you, and you slipped off your shoes as you entered the dorms.
Jungkook led you around the corner, and you saw Jimin lying on the couch, covered in blankets. He hugged a pillow, not even realizing your arrival. His sobbing covered up all noise in the dorms, and you saw Jin trying to cheer him up. Jin held soup in his hands; soup that made you feel better anytime you needed it. Jin saw you and smiled, believing that you could help get Jimin out of his funk. Whatever had happened, it was probably regarding his girlfriend. Yoongi rested his body against the doorway of his shared room with Jin, his eyes showing his exhaustion. The boys were desperate, and they all knew your visit would help phenomenally.
“Jimin, Y/N is here,” Jin stated, standing up. Jimin immediately stopped screaming, and he looked over in your direction. He looked exhausted, and his face was red and puffy from the tears that left his eyes. Seeing him in that condition, you felt yourself breaking. You couldn’t leave him like that, and you wished you came sooner. “Will you let all of us sleep now? She’ll stay here as long as she can.” Jimin nodded faintly, and Yoongi backed up into his room.
Namjoon placed a hand on your shoulder. “Just get him to sleep and then you can come join one of us if you’d like. Or you can head home, but make sure to tell one of us beforehand. Thank you, Y/N. We’ll repay you in someway one day.” You nodded, seeing how thankful he was in his eyes. You and Namjoon had a weird understanding for each other, and that was probably caused by your work ethics. You were similar in how hardworking and goal-stricken you two were. The boys all thanked you before disappearing into their rooms.
You walked over to the couch where Jimin laid, hearing him whimper out in agony. He was the most vulnerable you had ever seen him, and that hurt like hell. You sat on the edge of the couch, and watched as Jimin’s bottom lip quivered. Tears stained his round cheeks, and you took a deep breath. He needed you, and just sitting beside him wasn’t going to help. When it came to Jimin, you knew that he was craving the arms of someone he cared for.
“I’m sorry,” Jimin whined quietly.
“N– no, don’t cry,” you stuttered, scooting closer to him. Jimin did exactly the opposite of what you asked of him, tears beginning to roll down his cheeks again. If you hated anything, it was making Jimin cry. “Jiminie… Don’t cry because you’ll make me cry. I don’t want both of us to be crying and disturbing the boys. You all need to rest, Jimin.” He sighed, his hand crawling out from under the blankets. He reached out for your hand, and you didn’t hesitate before latching onto him. You missed his touch. “You’re not going to sleep unless I’m here, are you?” Jimin shook his head.
Jimin scooted over, closer to the back cushions, allowing you to have space next to him. You slowly lifted your feet onto the couch, and felt your heart racing as Jimin covered you up with blankets. He wrapped his arms around you, sniffling. You placed your head on his shoulder as he shuffled down and hid his face in your chest. He intertwined your legs, squeezing at the back fabric of your shirt. He had missed you more than anything, and your presence had calmed him down already. He hadn’t realized how much he needed you until then.
“Jimin,” you breathed.
“Please,” Jimin whispered. “Just tonight. Forget about everything I did, and pretend that we are still really close.” You nodded faintly, placing your hands in his hair. You rubbed his scalp, making Jimin sleepy. It wouldn’t take long for him to doze off, but you lie awake, wondering what had gone wrong between the two of you. You had been so close, once upon a time. A girl had ruined all of it, and you wished that you hadn’t allowed her to. Jimin was your world before she came along.
The next morning, Jimin woke up before you. He smelled the fragrance only possibly belonging to Jin’s food. You were wrapped in his arms and fast asleep, and he knew that you wouldn’t wake up as long as he was there. Jin was clearly trying to be quiet, a smile on his lips as he stood in the kitchen wearing an apron. Jimin glanced down at you, seeing you holding onto the fabric of his shirt. He loved every moment of you being engulfed by him, and he realized that he would do anything to keep it that way. He loved you, and he wish he had known sooner.
“Aw,” Taehyung cooed, walking out of his room. Jimin sent a glare in his direction, and Taehyung quickly shut up. Jimin wanted to let you sleep for as long as you could, because once you woke, you both had to face reality. He was in pain because of his ex who cheated, and you were simply being a good friend. Taehyung smiled, leaning over on the couch to get a better view of you two. Taehyung had always had his suspicions about you and Jimin, and he seemed the most pleased out of everyone. You two were happy together.
“Don’t bother them,” Jin pulled Tae away from the couch. Taehyung frowned, and Jimin mouthed thank you to Jin.
You were ever so slowly coming to your senses, but you didn’t want to wake up. You had missed everything about Jimin, and laying there made you regretful for ever letting someone get in the way. Of course you had cuddled with all of the other members, but that was different. They were not Jimin. You felt your eyelids slightly shaking from wanting to open, and Jimin seemed to notice.
“Not yet,” he whispered in you ear. You smiled faintly, knowing he did not want to get up either. Jimin squeezed you lightly, placing his head on your shoulder. “I’m sorry, Y/N.”
(in which I realize how horrible I am at describing books)
As 2016 draws to a close, I decided to make a list of ten of my favorite books I read this year (not necessarily books published in 2016 though). I hope you all appreciate this, and I’d love to know what books you loved this year as well!
In no particular order:
1. The Start of Me and You by Emery Lord: This was one of the first books I read this year, and it was so adorable I just had to put it on this list. It’s about a girl whose first and only boyfriend died, so she is now living her life with a lot more caution. Basically, it just chronicles how she copes with this and lives her life (I’m so sorry that was a horrible synopsis haha). By no means was the writing beautiful, and there were plenty of cringe-worthy moments, but it was just a nice and (mostly) fluffy read. All the references to literature (specifically to Pride and Prejudice) made my nerdy heart happy. Also, I am such a sucker for a cute nerdy guy (both in books and real life, haha–honestly, if you know of a good book with this kind of guy, let me know) so I understandably loved Max.
2. Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen: The Start of Me and You was actually what convinced me to finally read this classic, and boy am I glad I did!!! Honestly, I’m so obsessed with this story (which I don’t think I need to summarize). Like, this obsession is unhealthy. I’ve only read the book once, but I’ve watched the miniseries like three times this year and the movie (from 2005, obviously) probably (and I am not even kidding) 20 or 30 times this year. Keira Knightley and Matthew MacFadyen (if you’re as in love with him as I am, you HAVE to listen to him reading some of Pride and Prejudice – I want him to narrate my life omg) are literally my faves fajkldjgaoi I AM OBSESSED AAH. But I digress, because this is about books. Basically I love it.
3. First & Thenby Emma Mills: Okay so this is a modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice (are you noticing a theme?? – I could literally read/watch nothing but P&P adaptations for the rest of my life and be perfectly content). As the blurb on Goodreads said, it’s like Pride and Prejudice meets Friday Night Lights. Basically, it follows this girl named Devon and the football star, Ezra. I’m so obsessed that I completely ignored my complete and utter abomination for all sports in order to enjoy the P&P aspect and it was so cute I finished it in less than a day.
4. Winter by Marissa Meyer: I loved the entire Lunar Chronicles series, but this one was my favorite. Basically, the series is a sort of sci-fi/dystopian fairy tale retelling with cyborgs and space travel and I really enjoyed it . Also, the cover??? Amazing.
5. Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury: This is a well-known classic, so I’ll spare you the details, but it was just so good (and it’s nice and short if that’s something that interests you) and so scarily accurate for a dystopian novel.
6. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee: Again, a well-known classic about racism and basic human morality in a southern town during the Great Depression. I have nothing to say that you haven’t heard before, so I’ll just say: it was absolutely wonderful.
7. Paperweight by Meg Haston: I want to preface this by saying it heavily discusses eating disorders, so that is something to be mindful of. It was such a raw and captivating story and I felt it handled the topic well. I really felt for the characters. The story was sad and disheartening (an intrinsic quality when it comes to mental illness) but I just felt Haston did a really amazing job with it.
8. Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon: This book is about a girl with an illness so severe she can’t leave her own home. It follows her life as she becomes interested in her new neighbor (I am blowing myself away with my horrible synopses hahaha - if you really want to know, click the book titles to go to their respective Goodreads pages). It was a really interesting story that I flew right through.
9. The Sun is Also a Star by Nicola Yoon: I know I’ve mentioned this one before, but I’ll do it again. It’s about a Jamaican girl whose family is about to be deported and a Korean boy who doesn’t want to follow the plan his parents have set out for them. They spend a day together in New York City and it’s pretty great. I loved the little in-between perspectives we got and the blend of science and romance/fate/destiny kind of stuff. I loved it!!
10. The Memory of Light by Francisco X. Stork: This is another book about mental illness – specifically depression, suicidal thoughts, and schizophrenia. It’s about a girl who, after attempting suicide, gets to know three other kids with problems like hers. It didn’t romanticize mental illness or sugarcoat anything, and it made me cry (and I don’t cry often at books) but it was a really captivating story.
There you have it, folks! My top ten from 2016. I sincerely wish you all a wonderful 2017 filled with happiness, love, and new memories!!! I love you all!
I don’t know why he saved my life. Maybe in those last moments he loved life more than he ever had before. Not just his life - anybody’s life; my life. All he’d wanted were the same answers the rest of us want. Where did I come from? Where am I going? How long have I got? All I could do was sit there and watch him die.
Summary: The panel was full of shenanigans, sexual innuendoes and shipper!Jared.
Note: This is my first time trying this. Please let me know if you guys want me to do this in the future.
1) Misha gives Jared a fake, plastic mic. Since it is his last panel, Jared thanks everyone for coming. He likes it when the weekend goes “safe and sound and with no drama.”
3) Misha and Jared doing age demographic survey. Jared and Misha ask how old everyone is for "Very scientific.” reasons.
4) Fan: What is the difference between today and 8 yrs ago? Jared: Today daddy Padalecki went and napped Misha: 8 years ago in the con, he passed out!
5) Misha snorted water all over Jared while Jared tried to imitate Misha.
6) Fan: How have Cas and Sam influenced each other? Jared: Sometimes Misha doesn’t know when he influences. M: Sam is definitely not as influential as he used to be. Jared: Sam has got old. He likes naps.
7) Fan: If you could write an episode what would it be? Jared: It will be an episode without Sam, it will be just with Misha and Jensen and, Jared would go home to Texas and the episode would be called the milk run" and there would be a lot of BDSM. Shipper!Jared 😂 Misha: I actually love the idea of Jared’s script. 😀 BDSM Script Misha approved! Misha’s ep would be “very influential”. Jared: “how do you influence on each other?”.
8) Fan: Do you ever think about your exposure (of influence? J) in the public eye (whaaat in public? J) Is that something you take as it comes (and even more laughter) And how it has changed before supernatural and with families. Misha wants the question to be rephrased. J: can’t answer because he’s laughing
9) Misha: Jared has an idea for this book title and it’s genius. it’s an title for a memoir of Misha: “a great idea…” in big letters. And it actually says (It Seemed Like)… A Great Idea… (At That Time) Misha: Typically we like to take it as it COMES. (innuendo) This is just watching two people being stupid, you know that?“
10) Fan: if you could be someone for just one day who would it be and what would you do.
If Misha could be anyone for one day, he’d be Trump and he’d resign and banish himself to prison. Someone shouted Misha for president and the crowd started cheering and applauding
Jared: if I could vote for a president for the rest of my life it would be Michelle Obama. Jared would like to be paul McCartney since we’ve so many and he’s one of those left that have witnessed a lot of things.
Jared asked the question asker the question back and she said Jared padalecki and hugged her 😭
10) Fan: Going into Season 13, what would you like to see in the alternate universe?
Misha: In Season 13 for myself… Jared (interrupting): Cas is dead. Audience: awwww. Misha mouths to Jared (bc his spoiler) stupid, stupid, stupid.
Misha likes the idea of an alternate universe Castiel out there who hasn’t meet Sam or Dean yet. And try to explain that they’ve known him in an alternate universe and also that Cas is 8 inches taller but has the same vessel. Jared calls Misha Cas then laughs like a kid.
Jared wants to save the fandom, he wants an episode where they can bring everyone back. Jared met Felicia on a flight from Australia to Austin. Jared: Charlie! You’re alive!
Fan: We are so glad Cas will be back. Jared: No one said that!!! *Mutters* "FUCK”
Fan: About Crowley’s death… Jared: YAS!! but the audience were silent… So Misha goes, Know your audience dude!
Misha: None of us have an idea what’s coming down the pipe. Coming down the pipe, we don’t say that? Sorry what’s going through the tunnel.
More laughter and also Jared laughing so hard, *pulls beanie over face* Misha said he doesn’t wanna be the Jared of this conversation.
Misha: nothing is certain in the supernatural universe. Jared: there’s only one ep that’s written for SPN. The Scooby Doo-ep. They don’t know what’ll happen. Writing hasn’t started yet again Jared likes that he doesn’t know “what’s coming”. Misha: . Can presume, but have to see what happens.
12) Fans: We wanted to ask a question together. Jared: I want u to say a word each.
Fans: What songs did Dean put on the Mixtape?
Jared and Misha answer the question saying one word each. From president to Rome to music to my Dean. Roughly translates to:
Misha: Dean Jared: should Misha:always Jared: jerk *laughs like a kid* Misha: around J: with Misha pauses..: mixtapes
Misha said “Dean” in his Cas voice.
13) Fan: How Misha smell?
Jared smells Misha. Misha opened up his jacket for Jared to smell & Jared smelled misha’s crotch. Jared: “i can now say that misha smells like-” Misha: “cinnamon on top, watermelon on the bottom”
Friends With Benefits: Bill Skarsgard... Chapter 1 (NSFW)
Life is good, great infact.
I’m successful, I
work on sets of movies as a make up artist and I’ve met some pretty cool people
because of it. I have a nice apartment located in a nice area and I drive a
real nice car. I moved away from my family home when I was only 18 and made a
life for myself, I have more than most 20 year old kids and I only have myself
to thank for it, hard work does pay off.
I’m not the most social person and I’m not really that fond of
letting people into my life, I guess I have pretty bad trust issues, hence why
I’ve never really had a boyfriend, only casual flings.
I have one best friend, the only person I thought worthy enough
to come into my life. I trust him more than anyone else and I just know he’d
give me the world if he could. Bill is the most incredible person I’ve ever
met, and I just knew I needed him in my life from the moment I clapped eyes on
him while he was working on the set of Hemlock Grove. He’s selfless, loyal and one of the funniest
people I’ve ever met. Despite all these qualities, we’ve never seen each other
in any other way more than friends, it’s just not us. We spend most of our time
together, we have sleepovers, movie nights and even a key to eachothers places.
“You know, you should just start
dating. Fully throw yourself into it, what have you got to lose?” Bill casually
remarked, leaning up against my kitchen counter with his long arms crossed over
his chest, a smile on his face.
I snorted and shook my head,
continuing to slice up some peppers.
“I have no interest in meeting anyone,
Bill. You might be a social butterfly, but it’s just not my style. I’m
perfectly content on my own.”
“Christ, Mya. You can’t just spend the
rest of your life on your own, you’re 20 years of age. I bet you haven’t even
gotten laid since moving here!’ He laughed, unfolding his arms and pushing back
onto my counter, a big smile stretching across his full lips as he watched my
roll my eyes.
“I’ve met a few guys and it’s lead to a night together, I like
sex but I don’t like dating.”
“You’re more into the idea of friends with benefits than finding
someone who you could potentially spend the rest of your life with?” Bill
questioned, seeming shocked by my reply.
“Well, then find someone to have that relation with. I like sex
too, nothing wrong with that.” He continued, picking up a slice of red pepper
and shoving it in his mouth.
“Bill, I’m not gonna just go out there and beg someone to have
sex with me. It’s fucking weird, looks desperate and it’s 2016, I think guys
are more into relationships than girls these days.” I muttered, throwing the
chopped vegetables in a wok.
“Liking sex doesn’t make you weird or desperate, Mya, it’s just
sex. I fucking love sex, especially no strings attached sex.”
“Then maybe you should just be the one I ask!” I joked, throwing
my bleached white hair over one shoulder with a small laugh.
Bill shrugged his broad shoulders, and rubbed his face. His long
fingers curved along his structured jawline, rubbing softly at his cheek.
“I mean it’s not a bad idea..”
My mouth dropped open, Bill was prone to making jokes, he’s a
funny guy but sometimes his remarks stunned you and you had to take a minute to
“I was fucking kidding.”
“I wasn’t.” Bill replied, rolling up the sleeves on his grey
t-shirt that fit him quite tightly and flattered his toned, elongated frame.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t attracted to him, but it seemed
getting close in a way that wasn’t just friendly seemed messy and I wasn’t
willing to lose my best friend, we’ve virtually been this close since we met a
“Shut up, Bill.” I scoffed, turning my back to him and adding
spices and garlic to the stir fry I was preparing for our dinner.
In all honesty, part of me just didn’t want to look at him
anymore, mostly out of embarrassment.
He was right, and truthfully I was ashamed of being the way I
was with people, sometimes I crave to be more like him. So affirmative,
confident and attractive.
I was so caught up in my thought that I didn’t feel his arms
wrap around me, I gasped and looked down.
“You’re gonna burn the food.” He murmured softly in my ear, his
fingers grasping the stove’s dial and turning it down.
I shivered at the feeling of his breath against the skin on my
neck, and I could almost feel his lips turn upwards into a satisfied smile.
He grasped me enough to turn me around back to face him, his
eyes searching my face as I started right at him.
He stepped back and relaxed, smiling casually like this
situation wasn’t awkward at all.
Bill has never made me feel like this before, there has never
ever been an ounce of awkwardness within the friendship, until he basically
offered to be my booty call.
“Relax, Mya. I’m joking! Lighten up!”
I gasped and smacked his arm, which only made him guffaw.
“You scared me for a second, I full on thought you were serious.
What would you have done if I agreed? Huh?” I retorted, placing my hands on my
“To be quite honest, I’d have dropped my pants right here and
fucked you over the counter.”
“You’re crazy.” I shook my head, his comment didn’t really phase
me. Bill was blunt and just spoke his mind, he never really thought about was
he was thinking, wether it was appropriate or not to say out loud.
“I don’t know why you’re so against it, I’m single, you’re
single. We’re best friends and it’s not like I haven’t seen you in your
underwear before, I spoon you in it all the time!” He defend, waving his arm
“We’re just friends, Bill. I’m grateful that you offered, it was
kind and slightly weird but it was nice of you.”
“Come on, Mya. You just said you wanted sex, not a relationship.
I’m so up for it, and yeah, we are best friends. But that’s not a bad thing, it
might be awkward at first but that’ll soon go! Think about it…” He urged, staring
into my eyes.
I bit my lip.
It could be fun…
I shook the thoughts away, and ran my fingers through my hair.
“Things would be awkward, I can’t lose you..” His light eyes
moved over my face, from my eyes down to my lips.
I sighed, slightly
surprised that I’d even considered using my best friend to take out all my
sexual needs on.
Bill took in a sharp breath and took a step towards me, making
me back up against the wall of my kitchen.
“I bet I can change your mind.” He whispered.
My breathing hitched slightly as Bill was really close to me,
his hands on either side of my head. He was pretty tall, over 6 feet. But I was
also pretty tall, he was probably about 5 inches taller than me.
We were really close together but I couldn’t bring myself to
push him away despite how crazy this sounded.
Before I knew what was happened, his lips were on mine and I was
eagerly responding. My arms moved up to his hair, running my fingers through
the length of it, tugging ever so slightly.
There was a sense of urgency within his touch, his large hands
moving down my sides to my hips where he clutched them almost painfully.
It didn’t feel particularly abnormal for me to be kissing him,
after all we were both after sex.
I removed my hands from his hair and moved them to his cheeks,
with one hand on either side of his face, I detached our lips.
Our eyes met and we were both breathing heavily, almost panting.
I couldn’t deny the fact I was aroused and Bill definitely
“Why did you stop?” He questioned, frowning.
“I don’t know if this is a good idea, Bill. I’m really worried
things will get strange, once we have sex, we can’t just forget it. I don’t
want our friendship to change, you’re the only person I can count on.”
Bill shook his head in disagreement, he glanced at me for just a
second before hastily pinning my arms above my head and moving his mouth to my
I let out a soft moan.
“Okay fuck it.” I gave in completely, I crumbled under his
touch. I was horny and he was too, that’s all that was required in this
Bill didn’t need to hear anything else because within seconds
our hands were all over eachother, mine were tugging his shirt over his head
and his were confidently unbuttoning my plaid shirt, pushing it back over my
shoulders and revealing my black, lacy, see through bra.
He groaned and moved his mouth to my chest, he payed particular
attention to my cleavage and had a strong grip on me as I hastily undid his
belt, practically yanking his black jeans open.
Bill paused for a second and I momentarily freaked out, hoping
he hadn’t changed his mind. If he had, it was certain that I’d be taking a very
long shower and attempting to satisfy my needs myself.
To my relief he only stopped to yank my leggings down my legs
and I responded by kicking them off, as he also did the same with his skinny
Bill and I were left in our underwear, him in his black boxers
and myself in very revealing underwear. I watched as he looked me up and down,
running his thumb across his plump bottom lip. His stare was hungry and dark,
but there was something comforting about it, I wasn’t scared of him, not at
In a flash Bill had picked me up and set me on the counter, his
lips were on mine once again and he hands fought to undo the clasp of my bra, I
hadn’t even noticed he’d gotten it off until his mouth moved from mine, I let
out a quiet noise of dissatisfaction until he’d moved to my pierced nipples.
I grasped his hair again, arching into his touch.
“Your piercings are so sexy, fuck.” He muttered, pulling away
and observing my almost naked state.
He ran his fingers back through his hair, making it even more
He bit his lip as he watched me remove myself from the counter,
pressing my bare body against his.
I could feel every inch of him, I could feel the heat radiating
from his body and I could sense the excitement of what was to come.
This didn’t feel strange or unnatural, it just felt good.
“You’re beautiful.” He spoke, running his fingers down my arms.
I couldn’t help but roll my eyes at his comment, I was never one
for compliments and he hated that.
He kissed me gently and gripped my waist before pulling back
with a smirk.
“So, do you wanna do it here or in bed?”
I sucked in a quiet breath, not quite believing we were gonna be
doing this. I wasn’t that confident but at that moment I’m unsure what possessed
me, because I stood up straight and smirked.
“My room.” I answered, pulling on his hand, leading him out of
the kitchen and away from the clothes that were scattered all over.
I could feel Bill’s eyes on my backside as we walked to my room,
him behind me as I seductively pulled him inside.
As soon as we entered my room Bill slammed the door shut, span
me around and picked me up, My legs were wrapped around his slim waist and our
mouths were fighting for dominance once again. Bill had obviously been in my
bedroom so many times before, but not quite like this. What we were doing now
was bit of a step up compared to eating snacks in my bed while we watched a
shitty film on the flat screen that he’d mounted to the wall for me. He knew
where to take me even with me block his view, and before I knew it he’d
practically thrown me onto the grey bed sheets.
He had nothing but a pure expression of lust on his face, I
propped myself up on my elbows and I ignore the sudden feeling of awareness
that I was lay on the bed, in just a sheer pair of Brazilian knickers infront
of my best friend who was 6 years older than me.
I was so invested in my own panic that I hadn’t noticed Bill
move onto the bed, he managed to knock me onto my back gently.
His eager mouth went to my throat, kissing and biting down
gently. My hips bucked unintentionally and Bill let out a dry laugh against my
skin, his hand wondering down between my breasts, over my stomach and to the
waistline of my underwear where he paused before pushing his hand down under
I let out yet another moan and his fingers explored while he
began to kiss me once again.
“Please.” I begged against his touch, between kisses.
“You sure about this?” He
questioned as he pulled away and kneeled at my feet, and I bit my lip in
I hesitated slightly, could our next move ruin everything?
Bill didn’t give me a chance to properly reply before he’d
yanked my underwear off, well, ripped them off and buried his face between my
This time the noise that escaped my body was something I’d never
let out before.
His mouth worked magic, he knew every spot. He licked and sucked
every part that made my body convulse in pleasure and writhe, he knew what made
I wanted the feeling to last forever, it had been a long time
since I’d felt touch like this. Infact, I’d never felt the way that Bill was
making me feel.
A sound of disappointment left my mouth as I felt his tongue
move away from where I wanted it most and he leaned back over me, wiping his
I tugged eagerly on his boxers.
“Off.” I pleaded, pinching the elastic between my manicured
Bill complied, standing up from the bed and watching me intently
as he pushed his underwear to the floor.
My eyes dropped to his impressive length and I mentally gulped,
it had been a considerable amount of time since I’d had sex, weeks, months
“Get on your hands and knees.” Bill demanded, his voice strong
“Wait, Bill… promise me this won’t change things between us.”
“Chill, Mya. It’s just sex, remember? No strings, no feelings,
just two friends fucking. Now do as I ask, turn around.”
I complied and was soon on all fours, facing away from him. I
could feel his fingertips lightly tracing out my spine, moving to my ass where
he slapped it pretty hard.
I smirked, I wasn’t unfamiliar with what Bill was into. We’d
shared those details a few times before, and he’d told me after he hooked up
with a few different women.
Jealousy cursed through me when he used to tell me, because I
never got to feel the way those women felt. I felt like a stranger to pleasure,
like I’d forgotten what the touch of a man felt like.
“You’re still on the pill, right?” He asked and I looked back
with a timid nod, this was happening now.
It felt like a lifetime since we’d had the conversation of being
friends with benefits, but in reality it had probably been about 10 minutes.
And within seconds, I felt him rub against me while he stood
behind me, one hand pressed to the small of my back.
“You’re literally dripping wet, I like that.”
I can’t explain to you the feeling of having Bill inside me,
pounding away while one hand was tangled in my hair and the other clawing at my
It felt like there was shocks of electricity cursing through my
veins. I have no idea how long we were doing it for but I do know that I
finished multiple times and we explored many positions.
Before I knew it I was riding Bill, while both his hands cupped
my breasts, sheer satisfaction was plastered across his beautiful face as I
rode him, moving my hips against his.
His lips parted and he clenched his fists before moving them to
my hips, his eyes tightly closed for a second before springing open.
“I’m close.” He let out between clenched teeth and this only
encouraged me to spur on and grind against him harder as he was deep inside me.
One hand left my hips to clench at the sheets, balling them up
in his tight fist.
My head dropped back as I continued to move while he finished,
the feeling was indescribable.
I slowed down completely and just sat onto of him as he gained
composure and rode out his orgasm.
“Fuck.” He breathed out between pants, both of our chests
I braced myself against him, my hands flat on his chest. My red
gel polish created such a huge contrast against his milky skin, and I took a
moment to observe him.
“Thank you.” I whispered and he let out a little smile.
Bill had made me feel alive and I’d forgotten how much I missed
sex, and even just the touch of a man.
He tugged on my wrist, urged me to lie by him. I awkwardly
removed myself from him and lay down beside him as he managed to manoeuvre the
sheets so that they were over us.
“That was so good, you have no idea. This is gonna be so much
fun, I just know it.” Bill grinned, pushing the hair from his face and turning
his head to look at me.
I rolled my eyes playfully.
He was right, this was gonna be fun.
- Just a quick little note, this will be a story with mutliple chapters but I’ve had this idea for awhile and just needed to get it onto paper, I wanna see what feedback it gets before I do Chapter 2, I worked quite hard on this and I hope you like it :)
Last night I parked down a dark country road and watched the meteor shower by myself. I had such a nice night, I wasn’t lonely, there was no guy I was missing or wishing could be there with me. I was perfectly fine just laying there by myself, looking at the stars, thinking about life. I wanna make it very clear that I’m not glorifying eternal singleness. If that’s what you’re after then go for it but personally I would be sad to be on my own for the rest of my life. I believe humans need each other and that emotional connection is the fuel of a meaningful life.
But where I’m at right now, I’m staying connected with my friends and family. I’m helping people through what I do and the message I share in my career. I’m not desperate, I’m not sad, I’m not waiting around for someone to come make my life enjoyable. I LOVE my life the way it is. I guess now that I’m closer to 25 and my brain is almost fully developed I can just feel myself becoming more responsible with my choices.
It used to be that if I was attracted to someone I HAD to talk to them. It didn’t matter if I knew it was a bad idea, I couldn’t help myself. I’ve grown up so much in the last year and a half since I really started dating and let myself go down that road finally. I woke up and realized that yeah, if someone is blowing you off they’re probably just gonna keep blowing you off. If someone’s not giving you their time, they probably don’t really wanna be with you. If someone is putting in minimal effort, they’re probably not serious about you. I always wanted to be able to change people or “figure them out” and just say and do the right things and then hoped that somehow I could make them come around. I’m so done being that control freak. I can’t change anyone. I can accept people for who they are but I don’t have to let things drag on when they start to get stupid.
Things don’t feel like the end of the world anymore, I don’t feel like I’m gonna die alone and I’m finally starting to appreciate myself. I know I’m a catch. I know I’m a good person. I know I’m not some worthless lowlife who’s too crazy for anyone to love (literally how I used to see myself HAHA). I know I have a ton of good traits and a fascinating mind and a lovable personality, along with plenty of flaws that someone else will learn to accept as I learn to accept theirs in return.
I’m just at a place where I’m good. I don’t have a huge void to fill. If I don’t enjoy hanging out with someone more than I do spending time with myself, I’m out. I can take myself to the movies, I can look for shooting stars alone, I can take care of things just fine on my own. I have great friends and an incredible family and I don’t need someone else coming along and screwing up my life just so I can feel the “magic” of being jerked around and mislead for a month or two. That’s not worth my time anymore.
I’m looking for stability, dependability, loyalty and someone who’s actually serious about me. Someone who is going to for real take the time to get to know me and THEN decide if they want to date me.
I’m so sick of guys blowing me up cuz they think I’m cute and then peacing out once we actually start to get close. I used to take that so hard and think there was something wrong with me, like “once people get to know me they just leave 😪😪😪”. No Lisa, that’s called people who never wanted to know you, or anyone else for that matter, and can’t handle being close with other people in general. The only way I was the problem in that situation was the fact that I let them move in way too fast and act like a crazy person and take up so much of my time without ever even trying to be my friend. I’m finally over that game.
So yeah, that’s where I’m at right now! Haha I’m realizing the error of my ways, I’m feeling good about myself and I’m PERFECTLY fine enjoying my life on my own. If a real opportunity presents itself to get to know an amazing guy in a good situation, I will gladly take it. In the meantime I have an amazing opportunity to get to know myself and I am enjoying every second :)
Prompt: Jason or dick cheated on the reader bc they are scared of being held down. Then the reader dies but is reincarnated by Talia and the reader has no memories of anything and is just a no-emotions, reckless killer? And it’s up to them to help the reader love again to bring back their humanity?
AN: I loved writing this, it turned out so differently than I thought it would. I’m really thinking about turning this into a two shot. What do you guys think?
Your body is moving on its own. The blades in your hands move gracefully through the air, cutting down the people rushing you. Then your body is twisting in the air, and your hand just suddenly stops. The man in front of you looks familiar, and when you meet his eyes, you can’t help but stop.
You’re confused, he’s making no move to defend himself. You try to move forward, you try to cut him down, but you can’t. Almost, as though in slow motion, he grabs your hands, and suddenly the knives drop from your hands. Then he starts talking and his voice is one of the most beautiful sounds you’ve ever head. He just keeps saying that it’s all right now, and that he’s going to take you home now.
You start moving forward, ready to go with him, when you hear the order. Suddenly his voice fades away, and you’re moving forward, your fist striking out and landing soundly on his cheek, and then he goes flying backwards.
Then he’s fighting back, sort of, he refuses to hurt you, and eventually he’s able to get you into a hold. You’re trying to get out of it when he just yells, “Y/N, stop. It’s me, it’s Dick.”
Then it all come flooding back; meeting at the precinct, being partners, the one-night stand that led to your relationship, three years of dating, finding out about Nightwing, stumbling across him kissing that woman on the street, being kidnapped, dying, Talia bringing you back, and your training.
You stop struggling, only to start struggling again. You’re seething with anger. “Would you get off me you stupid, no good, cheating, son of a bitch.”
Not even a second later, Dick lets go of the hold. “Y/N, is that really you?”
Getting to your feet, your hands go to your hips. “Of course it’s me. How many other women have you cheated on?”
He’s silent for a second before saying, “I can explain.”
You raise an eyebrow at that. “You have a reason for kissing another woman, after we’d been dating for three years?”
You can see the outline of a blush on his cheeks. “Yes. I can, but now might not be the best time.”
“And why’s that?”
“Because there’s an army of assassins behind you, and it’s going to take the both of us to get out of this alive.”
You let out a small huff, before turning to face the enemy. Between the two of you it’s a rather short fight when everything is said and done. The two of you drop to the ground, but you refuse to go anywhere near the bike parked several blocks away. “I want my explanation.”
“Right now?” He looks astonished.
“Are we doing anything else right now?”
His hands go up in the air. “You mean other than getting you back to the base, to make sure you’re completely okay, and free of any brainwashing?”
“I’m fine Dick.”
He looks at you with this astonished look. “You were just taking out guys like there was no tomorrow.”
That makes you freeze. “Did I kill them?” His expression tells you everything. You don’t realize you’re shaking until you just kind of collapse on the ground. One of Dick’s arms go around your shoulders while the other goes under your legs. Then he’s carrying you, and you kind of just cling to him.
He smells just like you remember, and you take comfort in that. At some point you just pass out. You wake up several days later, in a hospital bay, in the mountain. Dick’s sleeping in a chair beside your bed, snoring lightly.
Reaching over, you move one strand of hair out of his face before you flick his forehead. He startles awake and just stares at you, before he lets out this long sigh. “You’re awake.” You just nod. “You feeling okay?” you nod again. “Good, M’gann went through your mind she cleared out all traces of the brain washing. The doctors say you’re in good health, but some of your bones are a little weak from being broken, as well as a calcium deficiency, and …”
You grab his hand, stopping him mid-sentence “How many people did I … ?”
He threads his fingers through yours “It wasn’t you, it wasn’t your fault. If anything it was mine.”
“I wasn’t there when they took you. I should have been there.”
You swallow thickly. It would be so easy to blame him, put everything on his shoulders. But you could never do that, no matter what he’d done, Richard Grayson was a good man. “It’s not on you Dick. I went to a part of town that you warned me about. I was just so mad, I didn’t even give you a chance to explain.”
He just shrugs “There is no explanation, the more I thought about it, the more I realized just how selfish I was being.”
“Did you want to kiss her?”
He doesn’t even hesitate “Yes.” The answer shocks you a bit, but before you can say anything he sets a small little box on your lap, and he nods for you to open it. Nestled inside is a beautiful diamond engagement ring. You’re not entirely sure what to say, and Dick seems okay with that, “I bought that two years into our relationship. I nearly proposed that night, but a Nightwing emergency stopped it.”
You nod. “I remember that one, that’s when the aliens invaded for the third time I believe.”
Dick just smiles at that. “That would be the one. After that I just kind of chickened out. It got especially bad when my brothers found out.” You had to resist the urge to growl at that. You’d never been particularly fond of his family. They liked to take advantage of Dick, rib him, and make him feel bad. There was also the fact that they didn’t care for you. You were an outsider, you weren’t part of the bat-fam, as you had dubbed them. You had come from a perfectly regular dysfunctional family, with two loving and very alive parents. That apparently disqualified you from knowing anything.
It was the same with most of his friends. They didn’t seem to know how to act around you. Despite that fact the two of you still had friends together. The two of you had a normal life outside of crime fighting. Your family loved him, he and your brothers watched sports on the weekends. He helped your dad with projects around the house. He changed the oil in your mom’s car, and she was always baking him pies.
His voice drew you out of the happy memories.“Then, I finally plan the perfect evening, and my brothers find out, and they start in on monogamy, and spending the rest of my life with one woman. And then they started in on how this lifestyle wasn’t fair to you. That you could never be happy with a husband that fought crime, and how you’d want me to give it up. I was still determined to propose.”
He takes a moment allowing you to soak everything in. “Then how’d you end up kissing Barbara Gordon on the street? I mean it was our first date in three weeks. The first time I had seen you in three weeks.”
“I ran into her on the street, and nothing stays secret among the team for long. She’d found out, and realized while I was there. She started questioning me like my brothers had. She wanted to make sure that I had thought about what I was doing. Before I knew it, I was kissing her. And as I pulled away I realized one thing …” At those words your heart stops. “That I loved you more than I thought possible. I felt nothing for Barbra in that kiss. I realized that as long as I had you I could deal with anything that came my way, even quitting being a hero.”
You can’t help but smile that. It’s this big goofy smile, and you only have one question. “What about now?”
He just smiles at you, before leaning in to kiss you. “I love you now more than ever. Thinking I lost you, attending your funeral, it nearly killed me. I didn’t talk to my family the entire time you were gone, and I took a break from the team. I was just so mad. The last memory you had of me was me kissing another woman. The last feelings you had towards me were of betrayal. I understand if you want nothing to do with me.”
You take a moment to let that option sink in before, gripping his chin and forcing him to look you in the eye. “Richard Grayson, you want to know one of the things I love about you? You totally suck at lying, I’m always able to tell, and right now you are telling nothing but the truth.”
He smiles this wide smile and asks, “Yeah?”
You nod. “Yeah, it’s the cop in me.” There’s a moment of silence before you say, “I’m not ready for marriage yet, Dick. I still have to process everything that happened, and I have to figure out how to tell my family that I’m back and …”
Dick just leans in and kisses you. “And I’ll be there every step of the way. You and me, together forever, and when you’re ready, you can propose to me.”
You nod. “That seems like the smart thing to do. I wouldn’t want you chickening out again. It wouldn’t be good for your ego.”
He just slides onto the bed beside you, and pulls you in for another kiss and just says, “I love you.”
A/N: Woohoo, it’s time for another episode of ‘I am insecure and need to be comforted by fictional characters!” Please be careful reading if you are triggered by self-hatred, etc.
Taking a shaky breath, (Y/N) gathered a handful of Floo powder from the bowl sitting beside the fireplace. “Number 12 Grimmauld Place,” she stated clearly as she thrust the powder into the grime.
Green smoke enveloped her as she whizzed past dozens of fireplace exits. After a moment of dizzying travel, the network spit her out in a pitch black hearth, dust spilling into the open space in front of her.
“(Y/N)!” came the chipper voice of her boyfriend! “You’re here!” he cheered as he scooped the startled girl into his arms and spun her around.
“Hi,”she laughed as he finally set her back on ground. “It’s good to see you too!”
“Good? Try bloody brilliant!” Sirius cupped her cheeks, his thumb stroking her slight blush. “I missed you,” he murmured, his lips ghosting over hers.
“I missed you too,” she smiled back, her lips finally connecting to his.
“Absolutely nauseating,” observed the younger Black brother from the doorway.
“Shove off, Reg,” Sirius growled without fully removing his lips from hers.
(Y/N) pushed Sirius back as she flashed Regulus an apologetic smile, “Hey, Regulus. Good to see you.”
Regulus’ lips quirked into as close to a smile as he ever came, “(Y/N). Always a pleasure.”
Try as he might to be against everything Sirius stood for, he had a hard time disliking (Y/N). She was good for Sirius. Anyone could see it, including Regulus. Well, anyone except Orion and Walburga Black.
When Bellatrix had ‘accidentally’ let it slip that Sirius Black was fraternizing with a non-approved suitor, Orion and Walburga were less than pleased. Once they realized it was getting serious, they banned the budding relationship. Not that Sirius cared. He found himself falling deeper and deeper in love with (Y/N). And then he found it harder and harder to be away from her. Even on winter holiday.
So, when the heads of the house were invited to spend the weekend with family for a typical “Black” family soiree, Sirius took advantage of the opportunity. He immediately sent an owl to (Y/N) asking her to spend a couple days at the Black residence. (Y/N), though nervous, agreed after much internal debate.
“Come on,” Sirius took her smaller hand in his, “let’s go put your things up in my room.”
“Your timing was perfect,” Sirius rambled as he led her up the stairs. “My parents left about a half-hour before you arrived.”
Reaching the top floor, Sirius led her down the dark hall and to a door labelled ‘Sirius.’ Opening the door, he dramatically bowed, allowing her to enter first.
Taking a few small steps into the large room, (Y/N) took in her new surroundings. A large bed adorned by an elaborately carved headboard and a crimson bed spread sat in the middle of the room. There was a tall window draped in long velvet curtains which which were positioned to let in a subtle rays of light. A candle chandelier hung from the ceiling. A bookcase littered with books from every era and genre sat in the corner.
Though much of the room was clearly designed by his mother, Sirius had clearly gone to great lengths to personalize his chamber and distance himself from the Black aesthetic. Gryffindor banners covered the walls and he had pasted muggle photographs of motorbikes and girls in bikinis on every open surface. Though she tried not to let her eyes linger, it was difficult to stop staring at the flawless models.
She feigned a smile, “I’m sure your parents are thrilled with your decorative decisions.”
Sirius snorted, “Yeah, my mother is especially fond of the permanent sticking charms.”
(Y/N)’s tingling laugh danced through the air. Though she would spend agonizing hours, weeks, months even, worrying about those photos, she couldn’t deny her boyfriend’s humor and persistent efforts to irritate his parents.
The evening was spent playing round after round of exploding snap, a drawn out game of chess, and Sirius’ old vinyl records. (Y/N) was enjoying every minute of it. Well, every minute that she wasn’t annoyingly obsessing over those muggle girls in their teensy bikinis beckoning at Sirius with their flirtatious glances.
“Do you mind if I take a quick shower?” (Y/N) asked as Sirius lounged on the couch.
“Not at all,” Sirius replied, “I’ll come up as well.”
Once they reached Sirius chamber, (Y/N) grabbed her bag and headed toward the bathroom tucked just down the hall from Sirius’ room.
Twisting the handle, (Y/N) watched as water flowed downward from the shower head. As she waited for the water to warm, she began to undress.
Free from the confines of her disguise, she glared at her reflection in the mirror. All she could see was a blob. A disaster of a human.
How could anyone love such a creature.
The models on Sirius’ walls flashed through (Y/N)’s head. They laughed and mocked. They questioned why a boy as handsome and smart as Sirius would ever want a girl like her.
Forcing herself away from the mirror, she quickly showered and changed into her pajamas. A baggy t-shirt and an old pair of athletic shorts.
Making her way back to Sirius was a challenge. She debated leaving right then. How easy it would be to make a run for the fireplace without looking back. She could escape to the safety of her own home. A place of solitude and familiarity. A place where no one could see her deepest insecurities.
But she couldn’t do that to Sirius. He had seemed so happy to see her when she’d arrived. She wouldn’t be able to live with herself if she upset him. So, with a deep breath, she reentered Sirius’ room.
Sirius smiled up at her from his bed where he was flipping through an old quidditch magazine. He too had changed clothes. He wore a pair of grey sweatpants and no shirt.
(Y/N)’s heart began beating incredibly fast.
“Ready for bed, then?” Sirius asked.
(Y/N) nodded as she claimed the vacant side of the mattress.
Sirius lifted his wand, lazily dimming the lights.
Shifting closer to the center of the bed, Sirius cocked his head at (Y/N), waiting to see how she would respond.
As discretely as she could, she slid herself away from him so that she lay almost on the edge of the bed. Though she would have loved to doze in Sirius’ strong arms, she suddenly feared his touch. She feared that he would realize how obviously her form differed from the giggling models on the walls.
“Have I done something to upset you?” Sirius asked after a moment.
“What?” (Y/N) replied incredulously. “Of course you haven’t.”
“You sure?” Sirius probed. “You’ve been awfully quiet since you got here and now it’s like you’re afraid I’ve got dragon pox.”
“I’m fine, Sirius,” she assured though she seemed to be having trouble meeting his eyes.
“Come here, then,” Sirius suggested, opening his arms.
Hesitantly, (Y/N) inched her way toward him, finding comfort in the familiarity of his warmth.
“Not so bad, it is?” Sirius joked as he held her tight, pressing a quick kiss to her hairline.
She didn’t respond, only stared straight ahead.
“Do you want to go home?” Sirius questioned nervously. “Because you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”
(Y/N) lifted her head so she could glance up at him, “No, I don’t want to go home. I’m happy being here with you.”
Sirius gave a small smile, “You can tell me anything. You know that, right?”
She nodded, but her eyes dropped to the duvet cover she was fiddling with.
“Then, why don’t you tell me what’s on your mind, sweetheart?” he encouraged gently.
Fidgeting slightly, (Y/N) took comfort in the slight squeeze Sirius gave her. “I’m not like them, Sirius,” she stated simply.
“Not like who?” he frowned.
“The girls on your wall,” she explained. “I’m not thin. Or glamorous. I don’t look beautiful in a swimsuit. There are lumps and bumps all over my body. And as much as I try, I’ll never be comfortable with the way I am. I mean, boys have never even given me a second look but you - well, you tell me I’m pretty. And you’re sweet to me. It just doesn’t make sense.”
(Y/N) froze, shocked that she had said all of that out loud.
“I guess I just don’t understand why someone like you would want someone like me,” she finished lamely, quite embarrassed by her outburst.
Sirius gazed down at her intently as she rambled, his eyes filled with worry. Sure, the magazines wouldn’t identify (Y/N) as an ideal specimen, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t absolutely perfect. Hell, in Sirius’ mind she was too good for him.
Sirius pushed her up and off of him.
(Y/N) was pretty sure this was the end. She had ruined the best part of her life by pointing out how much better Sirius could do.
“Sirius, I - ”
“Shh,” he hushed her gently as he grabbed something from his nightstand. Once he was finished, he repositioned himself on the bed, sitting in front of her, legs crisscrossed. “You want to know what my most prized possession is?” Sirius asked.
(Y/N) shrugged, still too scared to meet his eyes.
Holding out a picture frame, he nodded at her to take it. She turned it around and was shocked to see the photograph it kept safe.
It was a candid taken a few months ago. Sirius had his arm slung around (Y/N) whose face was alight with laughter. Sirius watched her with nothing but adoration, a grin plastered to his lips. As the memory came to its end and (Y/N)’s giddiness was reduced to a simple smile, Sirius lovingly placed a kiss to her temple. And then the loop restarted.
“That’s why i don’t give a damn about the posters on the walls,” Sirius stated quietly. “They don’t make me feel the way you do. My heart doesn’t leap when I see their smiles. But, when you smile, it’s like I’ve never been more alive. And your laugh. Merlin, I could listen to you laugh for the rest of my life. And honestly, I’ve never wanted anything more than that. Just to be with you and maybe be the cause of some of your happiness.”
He took the picture from your hands and carefully placed it back on his nightstand. He took her smaller hands in his and continued, “Love, you are everything that’s good in the world. You may not realize it, but you are my light.”
He squeezed her hands, “Don’t let yourself dim just because you think that I could do better, because trust me, (Y/N), you are the only one I have ever even considered. I love you and I always will. No one can take that away from you, I promise.”
(Y/N)’s mouth gaped like a fish. Nothing had ever been so heartfelt and her own heart felt incredibly full now that Sirius had reassured her.
Instead of answering, she simply threw her arms around Sirius and buried her face in his chest.
He rubbed her back and continued to whisper “I love you’s” until she finally resurfaced.
“Better?” he asked.
“Better,” she replied as the two returned to their prior cuddly position. “Hey, Sirius?”
“I love you too,” she yawned as his chest rumbled with a chuckle.
authors note: this is the first time i wrote for stiles in months and oh my god i missed it. this is set a little while after teen wolf ended and there is a small time jump too. also, big thanks to @heyitskatrina for proof reading and giving me some amazing feedback!!
summary:with times moving ahead of them, it’s time for stiles to say goodbye to his past and open the doors of his future.