i could watch him cry for hours

Through These Walls [Chase’s 12 Days of Christmas - Day 8]

Anonymous: “We live in adjacent apartments and our bedrooms are on opposite sides of a very thin wall and one night I heard you crying and talked to you through the wall” AU

Oliver sighed. He had spent the last hour trying to read through a page of his business management textbook in order to study for his test the following day, but the sound of soft sobbing kept interrupting him.

Ever since he moved into his apartment a year ago, he noticed just how thin the walls were. Throughout the single bedroom flat, he could hear his neighbors softly conversing, watching television, or on occasion having really loud sex. On those nights, he’d lay back in his bed and think about the pretty girl in the apartment next door with the bright blue eyes and blonde hair that tended to babble when she got nervous.

There hadn’t been much of that lately. She kept to herself more and more as the months went on, until tonight when Oliver heard her sniffle and cry through their thin shared wall. It had started from the moment she closed her door and flopped into her bed. Whatever was wrong, he couldn’t stand listening to her distraught wails.

Oliver contemplated his plan of action before getting up. Taking a seat against the corner of the wall, he gently tapped his knuckles on the white painted drywall and waited. He could hear movement from the other side: the bed creaking, a tissue being pulled out of a box, and the blowing of a nose.

“Hello?” came the woman’s quivering voice as she called out. “Who’s there?”

“Your neighbor from the apartment next door,” Oliver answered. “I can hear you through the wall and, uh, are you okay?”

“Oh, my god! Shit!” he heard her mutter as she sprang out of bed and began scurrying around the room. “I’m so sorry! I forgot how thin these walls were. I’ll just shut up now and move to another room so I won’t disturb you anymore.”

Oliver heard her reach the door and turn the knob. “No! You’re not disturbing me!” he quickly replied before she left. “It’s fine.”

“It’s not fine,” she mumbled. “I’m probably keeping you from sleeping. I really should have just gone to a bar. Maybe then I would have gotten drunk enough to forget tonight.”

“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking,” Oliver prodded.

“My boyfriend… ex-boyfriend… He’s such a bastard,” she seethed. Her feet padded softly on the hardwood floor until she reached her bed once more and took a seat. The mattress springs creaked like they always did, but she was still in the room, and that was all Oliver could ask for.

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august cant get here fast enough

It’s Quiet Uptown

I know I’m on a sad Philip kick but I can’t help it, alright? It’s Quiet Uptown and stay alive reprise make me want to cry.

You stared down at your hands, clutched together in your lap as you sat still, in the garden. You spent hours here, often accompanied by the silent Mr and Mrs. Hamilton, grieving on their own and yet together. You could never bring yourself to watch them as they moved, speaking softly to each other. You had lost any chance you ever had at that.

Philip had died with your name on his lips, and you had died with him. Everything you had or ever had a hope of died the moment he did, leaving you alone in this world. Oh, yes, the Hamilton’s had been unbelievably kind, allowing you to visit them every day to see where he had been, what remained of your lover. A few measly letters and the ghost of a smile, the edges of him in your vision, the dreams and the heartbreak.

You turned, viewing the two and overhearing their soft speech in the quiet of the garden. “Look at where we are, look at where we started, I know I don’t deserve you, Eliza. But hear me out. That would be enough. If I could spare his life, if I could trade his life for mine-” You couldn’t even bring yourself to laugh. He couldn’t bring him back. Too little, too late. “I don’t pretend to know the challenges we’re facing, I know there’s no replacing what we’ve lost, and you need time.”

With those words you stood and left the garden, tears threatening your vision. What they’ve lost? They lost a wonderful son. But you lost everything. You lost your future, you lost every hope you had at a love filled marriage. You lost the man you love, the man who had loved you, and you were left with nothing and no one. All too soon your parents would expect you to marry some rich man, some man who could care less about you and you about him. You would be expected to have children and survive, be faithful and do what the man wanted.

With Philip…with Philip it had been different. You had loved each other, you had a hope for a loving family and a loving husband. Every touch, every stolen kiss had meant something and had caused your heart to flutter. Each poem had meant the world, and each moment…each moment had made you glad to be alive. But now…

All you wanted was to join him.

You trudged along the streets to your home, feeling the sadness swallowed up by the hopelessness you were facing. There wasn’t a point anymore, why bother trying to swim up? It was easier to just swim down…

You moved uptown very soon, no longer Y/N L/N but Y/N Cortlan. You married into a wealthy family, making your parents proud.

And you felt nothing.

anonymous asked:

Imagine y/n being stressed out with school and sugardaddy!Jimin triesto relief her stress (and his if you know what I'm saying)

jimin hates to see you like this.

all crammed up by the table with your things barely making the surface visible. books and papers, highlighters and pens, laptop and wires at every nook and corner he could see from the bed. you had warned him that you wouldn’t be much of any fun, considering you’re so into your finals week and jimin said he’d understand. he just wanted a place to sleep where he doesn’t feel alone. 

so for the past three hours, jimin’s been watching the things he hates a lot. the way you’d cry out of frustration when you can’t get a statement or understand the question right. or when your document is being a bitch and you can’t scan it because it’s the wrong format. or just everything else that makes you stressed and uncomfortable that jimin decides it’s time for a break.

carefully, he slips out of your bed meant for one, now forced into two as he walks towards you. he’s slow and soft, perfect to catch you off guard when he stands behind your chair and rests his hands on your shoulder. you don’t react much apart from a gasp and jimin slides his hands forward, over your arms, down to your torso before he wraps them around your waist, hooking his chin on your shoulder, “you should take a break, y/n…”

whining, you let go of one of your papers, reaching to rub his forearms tight around you, “i can’t… there’s so much left to do…”

you hear jimin sighing but he doesn’t let you go, kissing your cheek before he murmurs, “an hour or two couldn’t hurt, right? after all you’ve done, you deserve it,” he sees you growing into a stage where you’re thinking about it, reluctant to indulge that you stubbornly stare at the words taunting you to read further. jimin smirks and leans back, but not too much. just enough for him to press kisses to your skin.

he feels your tensed muscles relax under his lips. when your body glues to the back of the chair, jimin finds this moment to attach his lips to your neck and he begins on mouthing on your flesh. something he does that you like comes to play: nipping and biting until you’re whining and jimin chuckles, never stopping as he maneuvers around your chair to get a good look at you.

dazed eyes filled with tipping arousal, jimin smiles before dipping down to kiss your lips and that’s when you let the paper go.

a break couldn’t hurt.

(( jimin almost feels bad when you’re dozing off, tired eyes finally getting their rest and the feeling of your skin brushing against his is a reminder that this is all his doing. hey, is it that bad that all he wanted was for you to get proper rest?

he’ll probably need to answer that tomorrow but for now, he’ll enjoy this.

he gets up quietly to put your things back nicely. closing your books, switching off your laptop, arranging your desk back to its neatly state before flicking the dim lights off. he returns to you just in time when you curl into his chest. ))


Existential Crisis (Dan Howell)

Word Count: 1,063


You sat huddled in bed after building a secure duvet fort around yourself. When you woke up this morning everything just seemed to hit you at once. You had missed calls off your parents and older brother about attending his wedding next month and you also had emails from university lecturers about random work they wanted you to do to get some work experience at a marketing company in London.

When you chose to study Marketing you were pumped and excited, but you’d graduated from university three months ago and hadn’t done much with your life. Well you watched Netflix and binge watched your boyfriend Dan’s videos on YouTube because you could relate to him.

Now you just wanted to stay in bed and cry about how you’ve achieved nothing in your twenty one years on this planet, you weren’t known for being emotional but in less than twenty four hours you were a sniffling wreck. You needed answers to all the questions swimming in your head.

Why did I choose marketing? Why has no one hired me? Why is my older brother more successful than me? Why am I a disappointment? Why did Dan stay with me all this time? What should I do with my life? And they were only the recent ones you’d asked Google and now had several open tabs with answers that made you feel like crap.

If the internet couldn’t even tell you that you were worthy of something then that really was the bottom of the barrel. You could hear your parents in your head telling you ‘I told you so’ that your life would come to nothing after university. Maybe that was too harsh but you always felt you had to be in competition with your older sibling who seemed to be worshipped by everyone in the family.

‘y/n are you here?’

Dan’s voice rings through your flat, you forgot about giving him a spare key last month. The two of you didn’t live together because he lived with Phil but you both had flats in London and split your time between the two. Why didn’t Dan want to live with you? Three years you’d been at this relationship and why couldn’t you both take the next step? Was Dan ashamed of you? He had hundreds of fangirls throwing themselves at him and he chose someone ugly like you.

The tears flowed more freely at the thought of Dan breaking up with you because he could do so much better. You loved him but maybe that wasn’t enough anymore, he was internet famous and you were a nobody.


y/n missed our breakfast date which was unlike her, she never missed one and she wasn’t answering her phone so I got worried and came over to her flat. I knew that recently she had a lot on her plate but she was so strong, hell she was stronger than me. I respected her resilience to never give in when the going got tough; it was one of the many qualities of hers I fell in love with.

I used the key she gave me last month and opened the door to her apartment. You enjoyed living with your best friend Phil but you and y/n had been together long enough that you should really move in together. I spent more and more time in her flat while Phil had his girlfriend over, it wasn’t nice being a third wheel when I had a beautiful girl on the other side of London. Phil and I were going to sit down next week and discuss our options, we’d still do the radio show and Dan and Phil Games would continue but we’d just be living with our girlfriends.

I heard sniffling coming from the bedroom, was y/n crying? She never cried. I pushed open the bedroom door and was shocked by the sight in front of me. y/n sat surrounded by her duvet and blankets like a protective barrier around her, her laptop was open on the bed and I had to step over her phone which was cracked and on the floor by the door. That explained why she didn’t answer me, but what had happened?

‘y/n are you okay?’

She shook her head and my face saddened seeing her red puffy eyes.

‘How did you manage Dan?’

‘Manage what love?’

I made my way towards the bed and y/n reluctantly opened the duvet allowing me to crawl in with her, I held her in my arms as she rested her head on my chest.

‘I woke up this morning and everything just got too much. What am I doing with my life? I have a degree but no one will hire me? My brothers getting married and my parents keep asking when it will be my turn. Why are you with me when you could have someone better? I hate my life and just want it to change; I might have also broken my phone when I threw it at the wall.’

I knew exactly what she was going through. I went through a pretty big existential crisis and now I was better off. I wondered why she hadn’t cracked but it looked like her defences had come crumbling down and she felt vulnerable. I leant down and kissed her on the head. I hated that she thought she wasn’t good enough for me, I loved her to pieces.

‘Having an existential crisis sucks y/n but it’s healthy to have one trust me. There’s nothing wrong with you babe, you just need to let it all out and then you can make small changes which will lead to bigger and better things.’

‘How did you of all people get so wise Daniel?’

She reached up and poked my nose while I chuckled and shook my head.

‘I’ve always been wise y/n. Now tell me what I can do to make you feel better.’

y/n tapped her chin.

‘Just stay here and cuddle with me because I can’t be bothered moving from this bed for the next few days.’

I nodded and stroked her hair, oh how this bought back memories of my own existential crisis. I wouldn’t leave her side until everything was back on track, she needed me more at the moment and I was sure the fans and Phil would understand.