i could have made this even longer

2

BOOKS READ IN 2017: PETER DARLING by Austin Chant

                     “The very world here bends for the sake of your stories, Pan.
                                I see no reason why I, a mere man, should not.”


Ten years ago, Peter Pan left Neverland to grow up, leaving behind his adolescent dreams of boyhood and resigning himself to life as Wendy Darling. Growing up, however, has only made him realize how inescapable his identity as a man is.
But when he returns to Neverland, everything has changed: the Lost Boys have become men, and the war games they once played are now real and deadly. Even more shocking is the attraction Peter never knew he could feel for his old rival, Captain Hook—and the realization that he no longer knows which of them is the real villain.

                                  “I’m the spirit of youth and joy, remember?”
                                     “You’re a grown man and a nuisance.”

When I first became aware of the ace discourse here on tumblr, I actually considered myself an exclusionist for the most part, but I didn’t want to visibly tale a side right away because I wanted to make sure I understood what the discourse was really about. Of course this is before I realized I was gray-ace and of course the discourse made the process of my accepting that take longer than it should have, but I understood where they were coming from.

I followed a bunch of popular exclusionist blogs (that I will not name because I don’t want to start unnecessary drama) and also followed some popular inclusionist blogs so I could keep track of what both sides arguments were. Over time I noticed that the exclusionist blogs were regularly relentlessly bullying and harassing inclusionists and aces that weren’t even part of discourse and I saw them no longer making this about cishet aces but about all aces. I saw them posting things in positivity tags that didn’t belong there (which affects all aces and not the cishet ones) and I saw them purposefully trigger nd/mentally ill aces for their own amusement and I saw how their rhetoric was taken from terfs and biphobes. I even had an exclusionist “friend” at the time that I would message when I had questions about why they were doing this stuff. They essentially said it was to weed out aces from the community by making them feel unsafe because they don’t belong even if they aren’t cishet because they are “cishet apologists” that “value the feelings of cishets over actual lgbt people’s feelings”. I never saw the inclusionist blogs I followed do any of this (not trying to say that none of them have done this, too. It just seems more prevalent on the exclusionist side because I didn’t have to do anything to see this stuff happen. It was right there on my dash just from following popular exclusionist blogs).

I realized that I was aligning myself with actual bigots and that didn’t sit right with me as a pansexual nonbinary neurodivergent poc. I can’t align myself with bigots when my whole life and every aspect of who I am are already subject to bigotry. So in a way, it’s exclusionists’ fault that I’m now an inclusionist. I saw their true colors and I was honestly disgusted. I decided that I rather be part of the side of the discourse that is calling out this behavior instead of contributing to it. I rather be part of the side that isn’t obviously full of bigots.

Privilege

I am not privileged because I am white. I am privileged because I was born to loving middle class parents. I am not privileged because I am white. I am privileged because even after my parents divorce, it meant I got twice the gifts on holidays. I am not privileged because I’m white. I’m privileged because even when my father started drinking more, he still never made me go without. I am not privileged because I am white. I am privileged because when my brother died we could afford a beautiful funeral to bring my family peace. I am not privileged because I am white. I am privileged because the good job I have was obtained by knowing the right person. I am not privileged because I am white. I am privileged because when I said I was no longer a Christian, my mother did not turn her back. I am not privileged because I’m white. I am privileged because when I came out as gay I was still given safe haven in my home.
I am not privileged because I am white, I am privileged because even through every hardship I have faced, I have had the means to survive. I am privileged because my parents taught me to be ambitious, because instead of telling me living off the government is okay, I was told that my own ambition is the cure to any oppression I could ever feel.
I was taught to believe that oppression is a mind set that I have the capability to over come.
I know white people who live on the street, who live in constant fear of death by police, and who stay up late at night to make sure their kids aren’t taken away.
White Privilege does not exist. The privileged are privileged by circumstance, not by skin color. We have chosen to take the cards we were given as blessings instead of groaning about our hand. Millennials, wake up. Wake up and see that WE are the solution. That no matter who is our commander and chief, he is out numbered several billion to one. WE THE PEOPLE, have the power to overcome concepts of privilege and oppression and move forward in unity towards a better America. Our upbringings are the problem, and our growth and enlightenment is the solution.

8

Claire in every episode of Outlander2x01 Through a Glass, Darkly

I wished I were dead. And if I’d kept my eyes shut, I could have almost touched the edges of oblivion. But I’d made a promise and had to keep it. Even if it meant living a life I no longer wanted. He was gone. They were all gone. The world I’d left only moments ago was now dust.

So things are…not looking so good right now. I had planned to move my girlfriend up here from Alabama away from her abusive home, but I got significantly less money than I thought I was going to from school, and my income right now won’t make up for it.

Long story short…to make this work, I’m going to have to ask for help. If it was just me I wouldn’t worry so much, but I don’t want to leave her down there for longer than necessary. I’m so scared with every passing day they’re going to kick her out or worse. They’ve already made it impossible for her to get a job, have threatened to kick her out multiple times, and constantly tell her she’s worthless and what a burden she is.

If you could please donate even a little bit to cash.me/$NoahKuiken I would be forever in your debt.

Day 366

I did it! I finished the year!

Even though it took me longer than a year as I started in september 2015 I managed to reach my goal to finish the 366 days on the 31st of December 2016. It was a turbulent year and frankly it could have been better, but personally I have grown much and this challenge helped me quite a lot with it.

I would like to thank you all who have followed me on my Journey, both those who have been with me from the beginning and the ones that I have met during the past year. I couldn’t have made it without you!

In the following year I will still draw, but with a lower frequency of uploads. I’m confident there is still a lot of art to follow.

I wish you all a Happy New Year! stay optimistic!

It’s interesting to look back and see the ones who left and the ones who stayed. Usually the ones who left hardly have anyone now, because they checked out when it got inconvenient or it was no longer about them; it became a habit to run. The ones who stayed have the deepest, truest friendships, because they persevered to the other end of that icky difficult season and found a depth that solidified from all that came before. And by staying, they made me better than I had any right to be. I think it’s okay to leave sometimes, but I hope you’ll stay for someone, because both of you could not be your best without each other. I’ll stay, even if you go.

Day #23 – Favorite Claire Scene (25 Days of Outlander)

I was able to narrow it down to a top 5. And it hurt a lot to cut a few! ALL THE AWARDS to Cait! ALL ALL, so proud of her work this season! If she was good in season 1, she brought the house down with Claire this season, and I’m very grateful and proud. The entire “Faith” is proof of that, as well as the best “older” Claire I could ever hope for. Happy Christmas Eve Eve with Queen Balfe! 

*

I wished I were dead. And if I’d kept my eyes shut, I could have almost touched the edges of oblivion. But I’d made a promise and had to keep it.
Even if it meant living a life I no longer wanted.

*

My sins are all I have left.

*

She’s beautiful, isn’t she? Oui. Il est temps…

*

If I if I go back, then it will just be like lying in that ditch again, helpless and powerless to move, like a dragonfly in amber except this time it will be worse, because I’ll know that the people out there dying alone are people I know People I love. I can’t do that, Jamie.
I won’t lie in that ditch again. Do you hear me? I hear ye.
I promise whatever happens, you’ll never be alone again.

*

I was not bored, and what Jamie and I had was a hell of a lot more than fucking. He was the love of my life!

*

I swore I’d never set foot on this horrid place, but here I am and you’re here too. Or your bones, at least. I’m not going to cry Because you wouldn’t want that, and besides I’ve come with good news. You have a daughter, Brianna. Named after your father, just as I promised. Jamie, I was angry at you for such a long time. You made me go and live a life that I didn’t want to live. But you were right, damn you. Brianna was safe and loved and raised well.
But sometimes, oh, when she turns and the light catches her red hair or I see her smile in her sleep It takes my breath away Because I see you. She was born 7:15 on a rainy Boston morning. (…) And that’s everything. Everything I can remember. See? No tears. Bet you didn’t think I could do that, did you? That day at Craigh na Dun we said a lot of things, but there was one thing I didn’t say. Couldn’t. I haven’t for 20 years. But I’m here, and now it’s time.
Good-bye, Jamie Fraser.
My love.
Rest easy, soldier.

Handsome // Bobby

Originally posted by mvssmedia

This turned out much longer for a drabble than it should have and it’s super corny i don’t even know what i wrote tbh :-D 

new years drabble #2

w/c: ~1700 

#1 hanbin 

- moyo


You were dead tired when you finally dropped off your sister and made your way back home. This new years eve has been kind of crazy (well, you family was crazy in general so it shouldn’t have been a big surprise) but super fun at the same time. You never thought you’d see your grandma drunk once in your life but you could check that off your list now.

Your turned on the radio on full volume when you got on the highway. The day couldn’t have been any crazier with all the things you’ve witnessed so far and on top of it, it had been snowing since this morning. Thick snowflakes were falling down the sky and if it wasn’t blocking your view at some point, you would have thought they were quite pretty.

With every mile, it was harder to see and the layers of snow doubled. As if that wasn’t enough, your car started slipping and after the third time you decided to pull off at the nearest exit and entered a small diner. It looked like a snow storm was about to start.

Luckily it was warm and you ordered a coffee before sitting down at the counter. It was only you and the employee in the restaurant. Who else would be here on new years eve at 2 am in the morning.  

You sighed. Hopefully the storm would stop soon, all you wanted was to lie down on your bed and get a whole lot of sleep.  

“Your coffee” the worker placed a big mug in front of you along with a smile that was so blending that you had to almost close your eyes. “with extra sugar. Although I don’t think you would need that.” He winked and you raised your eyebrows at him.

“Why?”

“Because you’re already sweet enough!” He forced a laugh, hitting his lap and you tried your best to not let a smile slip your lips.  

“The was worse than all the jokes i’ve heard my entire life.” You replied after taking a sip of your coffee.  

The guy sat down in front of you, “Then why are you smiling?” you looked up, realizing how young he must have been. Probably your age. He looked pretty handsome for someone who was working here at this time of the day. “Hm, i don’t know but it surely wasn’t because of your lame joke.”

“You’re still the same.” The boy chuckled amusedly. This time you couldn’t really figure out what kind of lame joke he was about to tell.

“You’re Y/N, right?” You looked up immediately, wondering how he could have possibly known that. As you took a closer look at his features, he did seem pretty familiar– 

“Bobby?!” Your eyes widened and you finally remembered the boy from elementary school who used to tease you and crack all these stupid jokes. Back then he looked so… different or well, puberty did something really amazing to him. Your heart flipped. “You look so–”

“Handsome?”  

Yeah, absolutely. “No… I mean a little I guess.” You stammered awkwardly. No way you would tell him the truth. Back then, even when he was not as good-looking, you had this horrible crush on him and he knew that. Thus all the teasing.  

“That’s too bad. I thought you would pinch my cheeks like back then and tell me how much you like me.” Bobby snickered and your entire face turned into a tomato. That was something you had suppressed almost your entire life and there he was bringing it up so easily.  

“Don’t even!” You threatened with your eyes.  

Bobby snickered, “Okay, okay. I will stop I swear. I know I was a meanie back then and I’m sincerely sorry about that.” He held out his hand and if it wasn’t for his face and the fact that you had liked him back then (and still kinda did), there was no way you’d forgive him. But he was lucky today.  

You took his apology and warmth washed over you when your hand connected with his. It was stupid, yet it made your body react and you felt your stomach feeling all fuzzy and weird. This was not good.  

There was suddenly a loud noise and darkness wrapped around the both of you. Surprised, you blinked a few times, realizing that the power had gone off.

“Shit,” Bobby murmured before taking your hand, “I think it’s better if we get out of here. Do you have a car?” You tried to ignore the fact that his hand was so soft and warm and that you were a freaking creep because it somehow made your heart feel all asdfghjkl but you managed to lead him to the car anyway.

Keep reading

3
  • Title: Peter Darling
  • Author: Austin Chant
  • Genre: Retelling, Fantasy, Romance
  • My rating: ⭐⭐⭐⭐/5

Official synopsis:

Ten years ago, Peter Pan left Neverland to grow up, leaving behind his adolescent dreams of boyhood and resigning himself to life as Wendy Darling. Growing up, however, has only made him realize how inescapable his identity as a man is.

But when he returns to Neverland, everything has changed: the Lost Boys have become men, and the war games they once played are now real and deadly. Even more shocking is the attraction Peter never knew he could feel for his old rival, Captain Hook—and the realization that he no longer knows which of them is the real villain.

I’m a sucker for retellings, so when I heard about this version of Peter Pan featuring a trans main character (own voices) and a m/m romance I knew I had to read it. And I regret nothing!

Actually, instead of a retelling, I’d say that “Peter Darling” reads more like a sequel, because we meet a grown-up Peter Pan who returns to Neverland several years later. And I think it’s very interesting how Neverland is presented (and how Austin Chant reimagines the fairies), because it’s like it was the first time we visited it thanks to J.M. Barrie but, at the same time, it’s a completely different place. I’ve always thought of Neverland as kind of a dark place, and in this novel we can see what lies behind its beauty.

Also, Austin Chant makes the battles rawer in this occasion, but don’t worry because the war between pirates and Lost Boys is just a part of the story. The second half of the book focuses on character development and self discovery. And, of course, the romance.

If I’m being honest, I wasn’t very sure about this Pan-Hook thing, but their story is beautifully written and it works really well.

My only complaint about this book is that it’s too short, and it would be good to develop the world and the characters a bit more, in order to know and understand them better.

2

A whole bunch of swimmers at today’s practice meant all different mix up in the lane assignments.  I was actually put back in my original lane since so many fast swimmers showed up and needed to be spread out today. 

That meant I was the lead.  One other in the lane is close to keeping up with me and our third is much slower.

So that meant longer rest breaks in my lane overall - but I still tracked all of my times to make sure I was keeping up with the time requirements of the lane I have been moved upto on regular days.  So I did not go easier on myself even though I could have in this lane.  That made me feel proud of myself.  And the coach told me she noticed  was keeping pace with them even though there was not enough room in the lane for me today.  So I like that she knows I was putting in the effort as well.

Happy Friday and Happy St Patrick’s Day to all.  Have fun and be safe out there!

50 swim/kick/pull

Stroke work - swimming 

  • 4x150 - 25 stroke/25 free  3:00 
  • 3x125 - 25 free/75 stroke/25 free  on 2:30
  • 2x100 - 25 free/25 stroke  on 2:00
  • 1x75 - stroke, build up to fast

Stroke work - kicking 

  • 4x100 - 50 kick/50 pull  rest :15 
  • 3x75 - 25 swim/25 fast kick/25 swim rest :15
  • 2x50 - kick, go fast in deep end rest :15
  • 1x25 - blast kick  rest :15

2050/87,600/312,400

You Make It Better

This week has been awful in so very many ways – too much to do, too much to keep track of, and bad news that Just. Keeps. Accumulating. And it’s come in all forms, both personal and shared. I will not clog your dash with a recitation.

What I will clog your dash with, however, is a thank you. This weird place – the people in it – you – have helped me cope with all of the mess that this week has accumulated. You have kept me informed, distracted me, bolstered me, sent me kind and wonderful notes about my writing (poetry and fiction), made me laugh, and given me much-needed reality checks. I have popped onto this site when I could no longer bear to stare at the mind-numbingly pedestrian bureaucratic crap that I have been wading through. I glance at my phone when I absolutely could not read any more student papers. I have logged in during the evenings when I desperately needed to shut down my brain for a while. I have opened up the app when I needed to feel as though I was not the only person in the world who felt as though the nation was going to hell in a flaming handbasket on a well-greased rope.

I want to thank all of you who have helped me feel that I am not swimming across the ocean by myself. I cannot possibly tag all of you, because I am a living model for the Flakey Absent-Minded Professor. Whether I tag you not, please know that if you have ever liked or re-blogged, or messaged, or sent an ask to me, you have given my life a little more sparkle, and helped me breathe a little bit easier. You make it better.

Originally posted by misscrosslord

@notpedeka @icybluepenguin @incredifishface @pinknoonicorn @missdibley @toasty-hancock @catedevalois @runningamokwithanaxe @prudenceevenstar @thorkys @darklittlestories @sarabeth72 @sherlockscarf @hornedchick @awolfbeneath @izhunny @angrymadsygin @therealopheliatagloff @larouau12 @quoting-shakespeare-to-ducks @marvelousmissfit @missviolethunter @nightmareofcat @ache-and-hunger @geminiloveca @crescent-moon-rising @indomitablemegnolia @amatasera @laterovaries @hallotom @hobo-logical @lokiofmiddleearth @malcozinha @lokislittlediva @damageditem @sheilatakesabow @radiatorfromspace @thisdorkyblogthing @peskipixi @lunariagold @tinaferraldo @soothsayerstale @blogstandbygo @incadinkadoo @chagrintrovert @sexualthorientation @evieplease @msmynx @stmonkeys @angelsseb @freudensteins-monster @jezebeldk @mangakasoldier @obscurereferencewoman @loki-in-winterfell @iamhisgloriouspurpose @bladethevampier @angryschnauzer 

4
  • Episode 201 begins with Claire lying on the ground at Craigh na Dun.  In voiceover, we hear her say, “I wished I were dead.  And if I’d kept my eyes shut, I could have almost touched the edges of oblivion.  But I’d made a promise…and had to keep it, even if it meant living a life I no longer wanted.”
  • Episode 213 ends with Claire at Craigh na Dun with Bree and Roger.  They have just told her that Jamie did not die at Culloden Moor.  She turns and faces the stones, now seeming to shine resplendent with the light of the rising sun.  In a shaky voice, she says, “He’s alive.  He survived.  If that’s true, then I have to go back.”  

The bookends of the season, then, are Claire and Craigh na Dun.  At the beginning of 201, the reason for Claire’s gut-wrenching agony and despair, which Cait portrayed so unbelievably well, is the knowledge that she will never see Jamie again.  At the end of 213, the reason for her joy-filled anticipation, again portrayed so beautifully by Cait, is the hope that she will see him again.  The paradox of a place - Craigh na Dun - the site of Claire’s deep sorrow and loss becomes the place of her deep longing to be reunited with Jamie, the love of her life.  TS Eliot got it right:  “In my beginning is my end….in my end is my beginning.”

(photo of Craigh na Dun by Matt B Roberts, gifs Outlander Starz)

Day 3 100 Days of Writing

“Well,” the long blonde hair man softly spoke into his notepad. His quill made scratchy noises, undicating he would need more ink soon. “Judging my your short ears and stocky build, I could almost guarantee you have no family worth noting and therefore no reason to even bother posting a bail.”

Keep reading

What she says: I’m fine

What she means: Can Yatori even have a truly happy ending? Yato is immortal and Hiyori isn’t. Say they get through everything together unscathed and trash dad is no longer a problem. Hiyori will grow older and will eventually die of old age, leaving Yato alone. But what if through some unfortunate circumstance, Hiyori died and Yato made her into his shinki? They could be together forever in that situation, right? Sure, but she wouldn’t remember anything, and he could never tell her who she was and just how important she is to him because of the God’s Greatest Secret. It’s just too risky and she might not even fall back in love with him, anyway! Also, as a shinki, Hiyori would be a constant reminder of how Yato failed to protect her (in his point of view, even if it wasn’t his fault). So no matter what, everything is just fUCKED AND IDK WHAT I’M DOING WITH MY LIFE WHY CAN’T THEY JUST BE HAPPY DAMMIT

PSA: Why are Monbebes so crazy about getting Monsta x their first win

I get a lot of people are getting annoyed by this whole “GET MONSTA X THEIR FIRST WIN” thing because some of their faves have been around for longer and still haven’t gotten any wins.

But the reason this whole thing started is because around the time MX was hinting about their The Clan Part 1. Lost comeback, Seventeen, a group that is good friends and debuted around the same time as MX, got their first win. This made the fandom hopeful that even though MX has only been around for a year that they could snatch at least one win.

Monunion got started up, which was basically a group of people that showed the fandom how we could help get MX the win. They’d send reminders on Tumblr and Twitter about voting and streaming the MV as well as their music on Melon. As well as other things.

Once MX finally came back with such a good song and album, no one thought we could lose. BTS had just finished promoting, Twice was finishing up promotions, Monunion helped the fandom get good footing, and the album sold more copies than any other Starship artist ever. BUT as MX kept promoting their chances of winning went lower and lower. ‘All in’ and the album in general weren’t doing good on Melon so even though many people liked the group and the song and even voted for them, because of their low rankings in the chart, they never got to actually fight over a win. Then while finishing up All in promotions EXO came back and the fandom lost hope of getting a win during ‘All in’ promotions.

Soon after, MX announced having a follow up promotion with ‘Stuck’. Stuck was one of the album favorites, so the fandom was once again pumped and prepared to steal a win. But MX said they’d only be promoting for a week, then IOI was also having a comeback, and then Blackpink was debuting. Once again the fandom was unable to get MX their well deserved win.

And now the fandom can’t even start to hope about getting MX their win for ‘Fighter’ because Got7 is still promoting, Shinee, Infinite, and Ailee had just come back, and then BTS and Blackpink are to comeback soon as well. Once again groups that are a lot more popular in Korea than MX are promoting at the same time as them.

That’s the reason this fandom is going crazy about getting Monsta X their first win. MX comes back again and again with amazing songs and even more amazing albums but are unable to win because the timing of their promotions are always so unfortunate. It’s just so extremely frustrating. 

I don’t think anyone in the fandom is purposefully trying to annoy anyone with this. I have also yet to see anyone say that MX deserves a win more than any other group. Just simply that MX deserves a win. So if a Monbebe screaming about MX deserving a win bothers or offends you just ignore it and move on.

Thanks for reading!

(Disclaimer: I am not saying that MX deserves a win more than any other group or that its a groups fault that MX hasn’t won yet. If anything is Starships fault for not being smarter with their timing.)